Friday, August 15, 2008

The Scary Place

There is one place in Australia that I don't like.


Simple reason.

It's evil.

It looks lovely from far away.

Who couldn't love an amusement park?

But when you get close up, you realize you have to walk through an evil looking clown to get to the rides.

What the hell is THAT all about?

For those who are lost, I'm talking about Luna Park in Sydney.

That place is just plain wicked.

There's something sinister there.

The first time we went....not so bad.

We felt relatively safe and secure--creeped out in a fun way. So we came back.

This time Jack got injured on the big slide. A slight little ouch. We thought it was a fluke and he got bravely back on the horse. The second injury was enough to bring tears from Jack and a decision from both of us. No more slide.

We then watched as other children were injured. Something was happening towards the end of the slide....the children were catching on something. Maybe a sticky spot? The burlap rugs had too many holes? Instead of having enough momentum to go down the big humps of the slide, they stopped and slid in a weird fashion.

One young teenager came out of the experience limping and crying.

I tried talking to the staff. None of them would listen to me.

We left the funhouse and then went on one last ride on the Ferris Wheel. I had never liked Ferris Wheels before. You know... the whole heights thing. But I figured I had climbed the Harbor Bridge. I'm brave now! Then suddenly I was sitting there high up in the air and I thought, if the slide has a malfunction why not the Ferris Wheel?

Time to fake a smile for Jack's sake while praying fervently.

We survived.

Okay, the other thing about Luna Park.... If the clown in the entrance isn't frightening enough, there's these carnival games with really creepy clowns. You throw balls into their mouth.

Tonight, we watched Mcleod's Daughters and they had the same clowns.

I turned to Tim and said. It must be an Australia thing.

What is it with the clowns, people???


My only guess is that Australians have never seen the movie Poltergeist. Okay? Go watch that movie and you will see why clowns are sinister evil creatures. They are not to be trusted. Nor should we ever be asked to walk inside their mouth!

As an American with a strong interest in Australia, I now have two goals.

1. Find an Australian to buy back Vegemite so it's not owned by an evil American Corporation

2. Remove all clowns from Australian amusement parks.

Come on! Come up with something better. Something that says Australia. How about a giant Koala mouth? Or a Wombat? A Duck Billed Platypus might be cute.

No more clowns!