Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Terminal

It's time for another dream post.....

In the morning, I drive to the airport by myself (this is not realistic because I never drive to the airport. I'm too scared to drive on the highway.) I end up at this gate that leads to Australia. I'm not sure, but I THINK all you have to do to get to Australia is walk through this tunnel. It sounds simple enough. Who wouldn't do it? (But in the dream, it doesn't feel so simple) I feel a small temptation to do it, but it's like I know it really wouldn't be okay. There's a sense of I COULD do this, but I SHOULDN'T do it.

So I don't do it.


I start to leave the terminal. I look at the other people at the gate....wondering if any of them are Australian.

Then I decid to go home. The problem is I can't remember where I had parked. I'm totally lost. I feel nervous too because I realize that I have left my phone in the car. What if Tim and/or Jack want to reach me? I hadn't told them where I was going.

Then there is one of those dream-switch things

The airport is no longer an airport. It's a hospital. I'm lost in a hospital. The hospital has these pedestrian areas....places that visitors walk through. And then there are patient areas. I accidentally end up in the patient areas, and feel embarrassed. I feel like I'm trespassing.

I'm not sure what happened after that. I guess I somehow found my way back home, or the dream switched to something else.

In another dream.... 

I sit at my computer desk. Tim comes in with a surprise for me. He places it on the left corner of my desk. It's an airline ticket, but it's pretty much blank. Tim looks very pleased with himself. I try to act grateful, but I'm a bit confused. I look at the ticket. I figure it's a ticket for our next to Australia. It has some date on it that's slightly far in the future. I know we've talked about maybe waiting that long to go again, but I'm a little annoyed. What if I change my mind, and want to go sooner? I see on the ticket that it says I can use it to go any place in the world I want. This also annoys me. I feel it's more pressure to like something else besides Australia. I would prefer that Tim (and his gift) assume it will still be all about Australia.

I'm also confused about the ticket. Is it a real ticket? Can you do that....buy a blank ticket to use in the future? I worry a bit. It must have been expensive. What if I lose it? But then I'm thinking maybe it's just a blank ticket that Tim picked up. Maybe it's just a symbolic gift.

Then just before waking later in the morning..... In my dream, I had these Jewel song lyrics going through my head.

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

7 comments:

HappyOrganist said...

ooo, I like airport dreams. Really.

But first, I love that picture you put up for your background. (That is new, right?)

It's interesting - seems that you mention being nervous or worried a few times in those dreams and then to have at the end the lyrics to that song. That's very interesting.

Dina said...

Happy Organist,

Thanks about the picture. I didn't even know you could do that until yesterday. I mean I saw that other people had it, but I thought it was some complicated process. I didn't realize it was so easy.

I'm slow sometimes. It was actually Jack who pointed it out. He saw a picture on someone's blog, and asked if we could do something like that on our blogs.

So, do you have a lot of airport dreams?

I don't think I have a lot of them.

As for being worried....I worry in my dreams. I worry in real life. I'm almost always worried about something, or feeling guilty about something.

HappyOrganist said...

I do have a lot of airport dreams. Most of them I am traveling in a plane or sometimes even flying the plane, myself, i think (though I can't remember now). But yes. lot of getting on the plane, off at the destination, flying over freeways, wondering if I can see where I'm going (or where I need to go) [I wonder if that is symbolic] ;)
Yep.

Also a lot of dreams that I am in Kansas (or somewhere thereabouts). I think part of me is ready to move. :/

That's too bad about worrying all the time. My mom is like that. I wouldn't say that I "worry" really - but I do have plenty of anxieties and need to control situations sometimes (a lot of the time).

I used to tell my mother [practical child that I was] not to worry when I was away from home (she'd worry all the time when her kids were away from home at all). I would reason "If I'm hurt or dead, there's nothing you can do about it anyway.. and if I'm not, then I'm fine so there's no reason to worry." Either way, there was no point in worrying.

WELL. NOW that I am a mother - I KIND of know what she must have been going through and the things she must have been concerned about. :D
And my own anxieties and need to control the things I don't have control over play out in obsessing over things. Hence my tenacious mental/emotional hold on my most recent crush. But prior to that, obsessions were things like fertility or breastfeeding (i.e. topics instead of people). Although prior to THAT, there was this other person..
:/

I should really get a new hobby.

but this is why I'm in therapy (find some better mechanisms for stress-management)

Dina said...

HappyOrganist,

Your airplane dreams sound so fun! I don't think I've ever had a dream like that. I think in the few airplane dreams I've had...a crash is on the horizon. But even those fortunately are rare.

I do fly a lot (free style) in my dreams.

I have worries like your mom (fear of something bad happening) but they've relaxed a bit in the last few years. I think having spiritual beliefs helped. I kind of go with the idea that if something is meant to happen...it will happen. It doesn't relieve ALL fear, but it diminishes.

Most of my worry and anxiety is due to second-guessing myself. I do that with my parenting, writing, blogging, relationships, spiritual beliefs, etc.

I often worry about stuff prematurely.

And I pay more attention to the negative than I do the positive.

So that's stuff I'm working on : )

HappyOrganist said...

It's always a work in progress, no?
;)

I don't have any "free style" flying dreams anymore. I used to have ones a lot about carrying people over hot lava (is that funny?) Very funny.
And since then I have had dreams about flying above forests (dodging power lines, etc). But haven't had any of those lately. not in a long while.
Now I'm flying planes.

I can totally relate (I think) to second-guessing things ;)
And yes - spiritual beliefs can help with fears, but they (at least for me) don't totally alleviate them.
Sometimes if I'm in just the right mood, it kind of alleviates those fears for just a moment. But then real life kicks back in - and I'm back to "it's not going to be okay" kind of fears that I have.
It's the antithesis to faith, I guess. But we are mortal!

It's funny, b/c going down the freeway it can sometimes be easy to think "yeah, I'm not afraid of dying." BUT - I AM afraid of being mangled and in horrible pain for however long, if I were in a car accident. Not to mention increased insurance premiums afterward. There are plenty of things to be afraid of.
;)

But yeah, I suppose it all works out in the end (at least I hope so).

Dina said...

Happy Organist,

I go back and forth with death. Sometimes I'm at peace with the idea. Other times, I'm terrified.

I feel I'm better about it if Tim, Jack, and I are together. I feel if we die together, then none of us will have to miss each other.

I think whether there is an afterlife or not...the worst part about death is leaving people behind.

And yeah. You're right...there is the gruesome blood and pain aspects of it all.

HappyOrganist said...

Yeah, the leaving people behind is the sucky part.