Sunday, July 4, 2010

Human Kindness Is Overflowing

I watched clips from the movie Three Dollars on the Australian Screen website. It looks like a very inspiring movie, and I liked the little bits that I saw.

David Wenham plays a man who's having a rough time. He's lost his job, and his wife has lost her job. They're struggling financially— to the point that they have to eat the crap meat rejects from the butcher.

Despite his bad luck, Wenham remains a very kind person. He goes out of his way to help strangers, even if doing so causes hardship for himself.

The other day, I had one of my ridiculous moments. For some reason, I got this brief idea that I should write a book telling people how to be kind. It's ridiculous because...

A) I'm not really in support of self-help books.

B)I'm not that nice. Well, I do think I'm nicer than most people in certain ways. I do have a bitchy side though. I can't say I regret all of my bitchiness. I think often bitchy is another way of saying assertive. There ARE times where I have the ability to stick up for myself...defend myself....speak my mind. I'm actually proud of that. I'm not proud of the times that I've been inappropriately bitchy and/or passive aggressive.

But the thing I thought when I first thought of writing the book? How could someone like me write a self-help book dealing with anything remotely social?! I'm so NOT popular. I never have been. I'm a few steps above being a social loser. Instead of attracting people, I often tend to repulse them....at least that's how it seems.

Then I started thinking that being nice does not equal being popular. They are NOT one and the same. I know people who are very rude, hypocritical, manipulative, and self-centered. Yet they're also very popular. And people can be super nice, and not popular at all. They might be complete losers....socially and career-wise.

Fortunately, things don't always work that way. I know of very popular people who are also very NICE people. And I've met social losers who...well, you can understand why people want to stay clear of them. Ah, maybe some folks say that about me!

Well, I am NOT going to write any self-help books. I say what I need/want to say on this blog....probably to the point of being annoying.

The movie clips have inspired me though to rethink things a bit. I've always had this desire to be popular. If I was a Sim 2, that would probably be my aspiration. Or maybe my aspiration would be knowledge. Perhaps a combination of the two? I hate that popularity might be my Sims aspiration because it's shallow. On an intellectual level, I'm well aware that it's not a good thing. I shouldn't worry what people think of me. I shouldn't long for fame. I know that having a few close friends is better than having a bunch of acquaintances that are attracted to you for trivial reasons. But despite knowing....I still fall into the whole trap, at least emotionally.

Now that I think of this....maybe the clip has NOT made me rethink things. I've always known that kindness is more important than popularity. So I didn't learn anything new while watching the clips.

Maybe I should say the movie has inspired me to try harder to redirect my energies and desires.

My problem is I have that ongoing problem of not being able to distinguish kind behavior from doormat behavior. Where should I draw the line? Well, I already wrote a post recently about all that....I won't repeat myself. Writing about it repeatedly is not going to help me until I actually put my rules/philosophies into practice.