Thursday, December 2, 2010

Defending Marriage

The Herald Sun has a great editorial about gay marriage. Sarrah Le Marquand talks about the so-called defenders of the sanctity of marriage.   She says:

You can't have much faith in its resilience if you genuinely believe it will be undermined by extending its definition to include devoted couples who happen to be of the same sex.

If domestic violence, infidelity and an escalating divorce rate have not tainted the exchanging of marital vows, why should this particular prospect?

Both homophobic and non-homophobic people are probably against those things.  I don't know of anyone who shouts out that it's wrong for Peter to marry Joe, but then says it's fine to hit your wife, sleep, around and get a divorce.   


Still. These things happen. They happen enough that I feel jaded. They happen enough that I want to roll my eyes when I attend a wedding, or see newly engaged couples exchanging sappy messages on Facebook. 

There's nothing magical about marriage.

Exchanging vows in front of lots of people doesn't guarantee that you'll actually go through with what you promised. 

Sometimes I wonder why I even support gay marriage in the first place.  It's not the gay part I debate.  It's the marriage part. 

But I shouldn't be cynical.  Marriage CAN be good sometimes.   I know people who haven't gotten divorced yet....like my parents.  They got married when they were eighteen. They celebrated their 40th anniversary a few years ago.  Many of their friends are still married as well.  

Still.  Many marriages turn out to be ugly.  So yeah. Honestly. I sometimes question why I feel so strongly about the rights of gay people to get married.

But in the end, it's about being anti-discrimination. Not allowing homosexuals to have a wedding, marriage, gain in-laws, etc.  is discriminatory and wrong.  

I really don't think it's that fun to watch American football on TV.  But if they made a law banning gay people from watching football, I'd be against that ban too.  

Anyway, back to the editorial.  Le Marquand has some good lines at the end as well: It will even survive the likes of Charlie Sheen, currently back in court following his umpteenth arrest. Multiple ex-wives and a domestic violence rap sheet? Now that's a dubious "lifestyle choice". Yet there are no legislative obstacles to prevent Sheen remarrying.  


I think that's a very good point.   Some people think homosexuality is immoral.   I think, in away, it's fine to feel that way.  We all have different religions. We all have different values.  Just because I think it's cool/fine to be gay, doesn't mean I can expect other people to feel that way. The problem is when laws are made irrationally....based on SOME people's beliefs.

There's that popular saying.   If you're against gay marriage....don't have one!   But don't stand in the way of other people marrying.

If we're going to make laws protecting marriage from homosexuals, than yeah. Let's make laws protecting marriage from people who get divorced and cheat on each other. Maybe we should say that if you get divorced once, you shouldn't be able to marry again.  

OR

We could let people be free to do what they think is best for themselves.

Because you know.....

Maybe a gay marriage will be one full of love, and it will last a lifetime.

Maybe a guy will cheat on his wife five times....well, because he never truly loved her in the first place. Maybe he'll love his second wife, and never cheat on her.  Far-fetched. Sure. But it might happen. 

Maybe someone will marry and divorce three times, and then the fourth one sticks.   

I just took a break to go and feed the cats.  All kinds of thoughts were swimming around my head.

One of them just came to me.  People of certain religions worry that gay marriage will erode the moral fabric of our society.  I can kind of put myself in their shoes.   If you believe that Jesus was God, and you believe Jesus was REALLY strongly against Joe getting together with Steve. Well, yes.  I think the idea of gay marriage would be scary.    If Jesus didn't want it, and it's happening....bad news!  But shouldn't Christians be used to society not matching their ideals by now?  

By now they should have faced the fact that there are atheists, pagans, Hindus, etc. There are lots of people who do NOT believe Jesus is god.  

Not everyone goes to church every Sunday.

Some people enjoy pornography.

Young people have premarital sex. Some people keep having sex, and never get married...period.  

People drink and dance (Some Christians are against that).

We don't live in a Christian world.  So I think people should worry more about matching their own behaviors to their religious beliefs, and worry less about making laws to control others.   

If we're going to outlaw gay marriage to please certain Christians, shouldn't we outlaw sausage pizza to please certain Jews?   Maybe we should outlaw ALL eating of animals to please those who follow Jainism.  Maybe we should all pray facing Mecca everyday. That might please the Muslims.