Thursday, December 30, 2010

I Don't Want Him But You Can't Have Him

I'm still reading the Markus Zusak book.     Now I'm on page 170.   I'm reading it slower than I usually read books that I like.    I guess I've been busy with other stuff....like excessively updating my blog.  

Anyway, the book deals with the whole idea of dating someone that someone in your life has dated previously.

I'm wondering how I feel about it.

I can't say I support stealing someone away from a relationship that's intact.   I DO think that sometimes (in rare cases) it's a matter of the couple not being soulmates.   Then the soulmate comes along and.....

I have to be somewhat sympathetic to people in that situation.

But some people just like the hunt.   And the hunt is more satisfying when the guy or girl already is with someone else.

If you break up with someone, why is it a problem if a friend, sibling, cousin, etc.  picks up what you left behind?    Is it that bad?

I think I'd be okay with it, depending on the break up.

If the person dumped me, and I was devastated.....it would be a bit cruel for my friend to come along and start dating him.   Ouch.    Now what if their relationship was written in the stars?   I'd still be really angry....especially if they got together right after my romance ended.   If they waited awhile, I'd still be hurt and jealous, but I think I could TRY to forgive.

If I dumped the guy, I think it would be really selfish of me to not want him dating anyone in my life.    The exception would be if I shared major grievances with people.    If I complain that my boyfriend is a controlling freak who has beat me three times, and he never helps with the dishes...... Well, what does that say for my friend who has decided to date him?

Did she not believe me?

Does she think getting slapped by your boyfriend is not a big deal?

Does she believe I deserved to be slapped, and she's better than me, so he won't hit her?   

I'm thinking of my ex-boyfriend.   I only had one major one besides Tim.     I broke up with him mostly for the fact that I fell out of love.    He had some negative traits, but not any worse than a typical human.   

They say if you truly love someone, you just want them to be happy.   

For me, it's not like that.   If I love someone, I want them to love me back, and be a bit miserable without me.   I don't want to see them happy with someone else.   

I grudgingly accept they're with someone else, and TRY to be happy for them.    The best I can do is pretend though.   Sometimes you just have to fake it, and hope that the naughty feelings eventually go away.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, and no longer loved him, I very much wanted him to be happy.   Why?   So then I'd feel off the hook.   He was so miserable....depressed.   I hated that I could cause such misery.   I'd be happy if he found someone else.    I think I'd be totally fine if he got together with one of my friends.

I'd probably be a LITTLE jealous.   I can't deny that.    But for the most part, I'd be filled with mature and righteous feelings.