Thursday, August 8, 2013

Now We Know Who Dies On Offspring

Patrick has died on Offspring.

I'm not happy about this.

The thing is, I thought of Offspring as a comedy... or a light drama.  I didn't see it as a tragedy.

When I watch The Walking Dead, I expect people to die.  So, that's fine.

When I watch Offspring, I expect to laugh.  If I have tears, I expect it to be of the sentimental type.

I don't expect to end an episode feeling terrified and depressed.  The show is supposed to put a spring in my step, not make me feel like I have a black cloud over my head.

Shit.   

I shouldn't have been surprised, though.

The past few weeks, I've seen so many blog visitors via my Statcounter looking for Offspring information.  People have been using the keywords, Who dies on Offspring? I didn't know a death was expected.  I kind of just thought people were being morbid.

But it seems, from what I've read in the news, Channel 10 was actually advertising a death. Come and watch a show.  Someone is going to die!!!!

That's a big tacky in my opinion.  

I dread next week—the funeral and all that.  I don't even know if I want to watch it.  Well, of course I don't want to watch it. But I feel obligated to.  I feel if I don't watch it, the universe will punish me.   If you're such a wimp that you can't handle a fictional tragedy, we'll send a real one your way.

Would the universe be more charitable if it realized these past few months I've already been traumatized by cute little Lou dropping dead in a Sydney park and Sammy Lieberman getting hit by a car near the dance studio?   

Speaking of Sammy Lieberman....

I can't get over the new camp TV show.  It's really messing with my head.

Have you guys heard about it?   Is it there in Australia?

It's an American show filmed in Australia.   All the actors are Australian.  Only one has an Australian accent. The others are pretending to be American.

What makes it even more bizarre is the majority of Dance Academy cast members are on the show.

By coincidence I finished season 2 of Dance Academy the same day that Camp premiered. 

I cry for Sammy Lieberman in the afternoon.  Then he's alive again on my TV in the night...just with a different accent.   His ex-girlfriend Abigail Armstrong is there as well.   On Dance Academy, she had a thing going with Ethan Karamakov.   She's also dating him while playing counselor at the American summer camp.   Ethan's Mommy is Billy Proudman from Offspring.   She has a gambling addiction. Her American self is about as troubled as her Australian self.  

On the second episode of Camp, Christian Reed suddenly appeared as well as Grace.

I guess I'll expect to see Tara and Kat soon.

Maybe Ben should visit. He's a leukemia survivor. He can give advice to Sammy.  In America, Sammy is the one with leukemia.  

Anyway, back to Offspring

I think I shall be saving my money and not buying next season.

Love my Way was beautiful in it's tragic sadness.   I was traumatized by Lou's death, but did love the two episodes following her death—the last episodes of the first season.     Then I struggled through season 2 and quit mid season 3.  It was just too depressing and not at all entertaining.

What is season 5 of Offspring going to be like?  How is it going to be funny at all?

I think it would have been great to see Nina and Patrick struggling as new parents.

It's not going to be fun seeing Nina struggle as a single parent after losing the love of her life.

I'm okay with seeing Rick Grimes struggle as a single parent. I expect that stuff to happen in a zombie apocalypse.   Of course. I didn't expect to see it on Offspring.

But yeah.  I know. I get it. It's like real life.  One morning your life is a happy comedy. Then by evening it could be a depressing tragedy.

The thing is, sometimes I don't want my TV shows being like real life. Sometimes I need them to help me escape from real life.



Ah....I just thought of something.  Maybe Patrick Reed will soon be a counselor at an American summer camp.  He won't be as adorable without his Aussie accent.