Saturday, July 12, 2014

Three Josephs Singing

I'm still mildly obsessing over Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

I found this video.

It features two past Josephs (Donny Osmond and Jason Donovan) singing with the new one.

The new one is young. The past ones are kind of old.

While watching the video, I thought of another way the song could be interpreted. It could be about aging.

A crash of drums.
A flash of light.
My golden coat flew out of sight.
The colors faded into darkness I was left alone

The golden coat could represent youth.

It's there. Then it's gone.

Well, it happens quite slowly actually.

At some point, we change from getting offended that someone thinks we're younger than we are to being complimented by it. I guess that's when aging begins. Then we feel old. But each time we look back to that time we felt old in the past, it seems we were so young back then.

I have mixed feelings about aging.

At my niece's Bat Mitzvah, I was introduced to my sister's friend. The friend asked if I was my sister's mother. She was so horrified about her mistake, but I thought it was hilarious. I wasn't offended or bothered by it. I actually loved the idea of being the matriarch of the family. I loved imaging that my sister's were my daughters and my nieces and nephews were all my grandchildren.

In the world of blogging, I also don't mind so much being old. It seems many older bloggers do well, and in some ways I feel age gives you more...more something? I don't know what.  Maybe I feel people give you more respect? I think maybe they take you more seriously.

There are areas, though, where I'm not enjoying aging so much.

Jason Donovan has lost some of his physical beauty. Or at least he has in my opinion. He used to be a hot young thing. Not so much anymore. The same has happened to me. I think I was fairly attractive in my youth.  Now that attractiveness has greatly faded.

In my younger years, I looked young for my age. I thought eventually that would be a benefit. If I looked twelve when I was sixteen, wouldn't that mean I'd look thirty when I'm forty? such luck.

I look like a woman in my 40's. Maybe even older.

When I'm not suffering from vanity and superficialness, looking old isn't so bad. And I do think older women can be very beautiful...and not just by finding ways to look younger.

But it's not just about appearance. The thing is, it's harder to be included and accepted in certain areas.

For me, it's singing. I'm kind of over it now. Sort of.  But there were times I wished that I could do something beyond singing in the shower and the lake house karaoke machine.  I considered diving into the world of YouTube videos. And I did make a few videos. But then I got the idea that there's not a huge place for older singers on YouTube. The ones doing well are usually much younger than me.

And today we went to a Minecraft conference. There was a wonderful panel made up of very successful Minecraft YouTubers. I love playing Minecraft. I imagine I could maybe make videos that are somewhat entertaining....if I could manage to figure out the technology. But the panel was made up of college students and young adults.

So then I was thinking the same thing I've thought many times. Should I try this? Should I try to make Minecraft videos?  Sometimes I think maybe I'd be a novelty—the middle aged woman who makes Minecraft videos. It could be kind of cool.

Or would it be perceived as pathetic?

Well, it would probably be perceived as cool by some and very pathetic by others.

And I'm probably using age as an excuse because the technological aspect of it all overwhelms me. Plus, I'd probably have to buy a better computer. Once I did try filming my game and there was a horrible lag.

It's probably best I stick to blogging.

And singing in the shower.

And writing novels.

I started watching part of an interview with Jason Donovan.

He lost his youthful beauty. But I do see something handsome about him. He's sexy—no longer in a soap opera/music star sort of way; maybe more in an Aussie politician kind of way.

You know. Sometimes it makes me feel better to know other people are aging too.

Some of the lyrics of the song do NOT fit. I'm not really left alone. My golden coat is gone, but I'm surrounded by many other people who no longer have their coat.  Like Jason Donovan.

When I'm feeling really low and spiteful—jealous of young people, I like remembering that they're going to get old too.

It happens to all of us.

Sometime it kind of sucks.

But it's likely better than the alternative.