We all like to give each other suggestions.
Oh! You have to try this. You'll TOTALLY love it.
You should read this book.
You need to..... (fill in the blank yourself, please. I can't think of anything)
Lately, I've been all into this anti-controlling thing. Don't be pushy. Be gentle.
So, Tim and I were chatting in the pool one afternoon. I said we SHOULD all wipe out the word "should" from our vocabulary.
I hate when people tell me I should do this or do that. It's so pushy.
I think the two main times we get shoulds and you-musts in your life is pregnancy and holiday/trip-planning.
You should breastfeed! You should go to movies before the baby comes. You must make sure the baby doesn't fall asleep in your arms. You must sign up for daycare before the baby is born.
When we planned our Sydney holiday, we got a lot of it. You should go to the Jewish Museum. You MUST take a harbor cruise. You should go to the Great Barrier Reef
I told Tim I appreciated the suggestions, but couldn't they say it in a less pushy way?
You might like to try The Jewish Museum.
We enjoyed the Harbor Cruise. Maybe you'd like it too.
Then that very night, Tabitha told us about her plans to go to NYC. Tim and I used to live there and we visit every so often.
Oh, poor Tabitha. We attacked the poor girl. You MUST avoid eating in Midtown.Oh my God! You have to go the Shake Shack! Do NOT pay to go on a tour of the Statue of Liberty. Go on the Staten Island Ferry instead.
I realized that this Should and Must and Have-To business is a hard habit to break.
We get excited and want to spread the joy.
Sometimes we spread joy. Sometimes we spread annoyance.
I think it depends on how well our interests match the person we're making suggestions to.
We probably all have a person in our life who makes suggestions that never work for us. After awhile, we learn exactly what to AVOID from talking to that person.
You should watch this TV show. I'm totally into it.
Tim and I immediately cross it off our list of TV shows we want to watch.
You should try this restaurant. Cross it off the list. Never going there.
You'll love this book. I now know I never want to read it.
But then there are other people who make suggestions that totally work for me.
My friend Suzanne casually mentioned that I might like McLeod's Daughters. We all know where that led!
My suggestion Goddess is Jayne. I swear. I feel I should start paying her or something. I'm thinking she reads my mind or something. It's like she knows exactly what I'll like.
Okay, some of her suggestions are not aimed at me personally. They're just on her blog. Such as the ad contest on Gruen Transfer. FUNNY stuff. Advertising companies compete to see who can best sell the unsellable. I love the one promoting anti-tourism and the one promoting global warming.
The website also provides a place for you to make your own ads. Jack plays on it and made hilarious little works of art.
When I said I was looking for things to do in Sydney, Jayne suggested I do the haunted Quarantine Station tour. Now I no longer feel brave about doing the Shark Dive or Bridge Climb. Yikes. Those look easy compared to this. I did the Bridge Climb and Shark Dive alone.I'm NOT doing this thing alone. No way. One of you will have to come with me. Or a lot of you. Okay? Please? Anyone? Hello?
Yesterday, Jayne found me my next Aussie celebrity crush. Yeah, cause I'm kind of getting over Becky (although Jessica Napier is actually a Kiwi and not an Aussie) Adam Hills. I'm totally in love.
In comments yesterday, someone asked me what I liked about Australia. I gave a nice little list. Screw that list. Now I can just say Adam Hills. That's all I need. Nothing more. I can love Australia for that one man.
He is awesome.
Thanks for introducing me to him, Jayne.
Anyway. I'd love to hear other suggestions.
What other Aussie stuff should I be looking out for?
Oh! You have to try this. You'll TOTALLY love it.
You should read this book.
You need to..... (fill in the blank yourself, please. I can't think of anything)
Lately, I've been all into this anti-controlling thing. Don't be pushy. Be gentle.
So, Tim and I were chatting in the pool one afternoon. I said we SHOULD all wipe out the word "should" from our vocabulary.
I hate when people tell me I should do this or do that. It's so pushy.
I think the two main times we get shoulds and you-musts in your life is pregnancy and holiday/trip-planning.
You should breastfeed! You should go to movies before the baby comes. You must make sure the baby doesn't fall asleep in your arms. You must sign up for daycare before the baby is born.
When we planned our Sydney holiday, we got a lot of it. You should go to the Jewish Museum. You MUST take a harbor cruise. You should go to the Great Barrier Reef
I told Tim I appreciated the suggestions, but couldn't they say it in a less pushy way?
You might like to try The Jewish Museum.
We enjoyed the Harbor Cruise. Maybe you'd like it too.
Then that very night, Tabitha told us about her plans to go to NYC. Tim and I used to live there and we visit every so often.
Oh, poor Tabitha. We attacked the poor girl. You MUST avoid eating in Midtown.Oh my God! You have to go the Shake Shack! Do NOT pay to go on a tour of the Statue of Liberty. Go on the Staten Island Ferry instead.
I realized that this Should and Must and Have-To business is a hard habit to break.
We get excited and want to spread the joy.
Sometimes we spread joy. Sometimes we spread annoyance.
I think it depends on how well our interests match the person we're making suggestions to.
We probably all have a person in our life who makes suggestions that never work for us. After awhile, we learn exactly what to AVOID from talking to that person.
You should watch this TV show. I'm totally into it.
Tim and I immediately cross it off our list of TV shows we want to watch.
You should try this restaurant. Cross it off the list. Never going there.
You'll love this book. I now know I never want to read it.
But then there are other people who make suggestions that totally work for me.
My friend Suzanne casually mentioned that I might like McLeod's Daughters. We all know where that led!
My suggestion Goddess is Jayne. I swear. I feel I should start paying her or something. I'm thinking she reads my mind or something. It's like she knows exactly what I'll like.
Okay, some of her suggestions are not aimed at me personally. They're just on her blog. Such as the ad contest on Gruen Transfer. FUNNY stuff. Advertising companies compete to see who can best sell the unsellable. I love the one promoting anti-tourism and the one promoting global warming.
The website also provides a place for you to make your own ads. Jack plays on it and made hilarious little works of art.
When I said I was looking for things to do in Sydney, Jayne suggested I do the haunted Quarantine Station tour. Now I no longer feel brave about doing the Shark Dive or Bridge Climb. Yikes. Those look easy compared to this. I did the Bridge Climb and Shark Dive alone.I'm NOT doing this thing alone. No way. One of you will have to come with me. Or a lot of you. Okay? Please? Anyone? Hello?
Yesterday, Jayne found me my next Aussie celebrity crush. Yeah, cause I'm kind of getting over Becky (although Jessica Napier is actually a Kiwi and not an Aussie) Adam Hills. I'm totally in love.
In comments yesterday, someone asked me what I liked about Australia. I gave a nice little list. Screw that list. Now I can just say Adam Hills. That's all I need. Nothing more. I can love Australia for that one man.
He is awesome.
Thanks for introducing me to him, Jayne.
Anyway. I'd love to hear other suggestions.
What other Aussie stuff should I be looking out for?
yeah he is a bit funny
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about 'you should'. it is in the invalidation link on your blog as one of those invalidating statements
'I tried this..',
or 'this may be an idea...',
may be better.
dunno, i am not always too good at not telling people, but suggestion in a nice way is better.
Tribog,
ReplyDeleteI think it also depends on what people are suggesting. I get very annoyed when I tell someone something and they suggest I do something else.
For example...if I say "I want to go to Australia." and they say "You should go to Europe."
If I wanted to go to Europe, I would have said "I want to go to Europe."
OR
"I'm writing a book about dreams."
"You should write about horses."
To me, it's somewhat of a rejection--major invalidation.
I'm sure I do it to people too sometimes though. I'll try not to ; )
I used to start every other sentence by going "umm" and I had to consciously make myself stop it because it makes you sound like a motor and an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI am going to cut should out of my vocabulary. It will be a fun social experiment.
Oh, I would go to Quarantine Station in a heartbeat! I wonder if Ghost Hunters has been there yet? I love that show, even if it is a bit made up.
Darcy,
ReplyDeleteI wish you were in Australia. Then I could make you go with me on the tour.
It's hard to cut "Should" out of vocabulary. I'm TRYING.......
there is another comedian who does some tv stuff with adam hills, named Dave Hughes, and he is really funny (I actually like him more than Adam Hills). He is one you might like to have a look at (but not one you "should" look at).
ReplyDeleteP
I will look him up right now.
ReplyDeleteLOL Dina, you're welcome ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe Youtube Wil Anderson, the host of The Gruen Transfer.
Paul McDermott and the show Good News Week might give you a few more giggles.
Fiona O'Loughlin is another comedian you might like, too.
Jayne,
ReplyDeleteThanks!
I think I saw a little of Wil Anderson on youtube yesterday.
I liked him.
Will go check out the other stuff right now.
Omigod, I am the bossiest biatch ever. But since we like such different stuff, I'll just assume you already know not to listen to me.
ReplyDeleteYou should freaking get back to Australia already.
Easy word verification-- must be my lucky week.
The "shoulds" are SO tempting. I'm terrible about it. This is a great reminder to lay off attacking people with one's enthusiasm
ReplyDeleteAndrea,
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard habit to get out of.
I'm still struggling with it.
As well Dave Huges, Adam Hills etc. there's Rove McManus, Will Anderson, Merrick & Rosso, Ben Dark, Callan Mulvey, Aaron Pedersen, Aaron Jeffrey, Ernie Dingo, Michael Caton, Mark Dapin to name just a few ... good sorts, they're everywhere down here!
ReplyDeleteRedness,
ReplyDeleteAnd let me guess....none of them are from Manly. Right?
No, I'm joking. Thanks for the list. I'll check them out.