1. Felt guilty when I saw that one of my iGoogle headlines, from the ABC, was about the rise of childhood Anorexia.
I went to read the article. They said the Westmead Children's Hospital in NSW told them that admissions for childhood anorexia has tripled in the last decade.
That's very sad.
Mia Freedman, a body image specialist, talks about how parents are so stressed about the two monsters looming on the opposite sides of the fence. On one side you have the terrifying obesity monster. On the other side, you have the crazed self-starvation monster.
How do we protect children from both obesity and anorexia?
One thing Mia Freedman says is we should be good role-models. We shouldn't complain about being fat in front of our children. This is probably especially true if we're not fat.
Last night I complained about being fat to Tim, in front of Jack.
I was feeling awful about myself. I needed reassurance. So I partook in the awfully pathetic activity of fishing for a compliment.
I said to Tim. I'm not as fat as I look.
I wanted to hear What? You don't look fat. And you're not fat.
What I got was, You're right. You're not that fat.
I fished for a compliment and got a boot...that kicked me in the gut.
We fought about it. I became even more whiny and pathetic.
Tim claimed he meant that we all HAVE fat. We're all fat.
I think there's a big difference between having fat and BEING fat.
Is it even medically possible to have 0% body fat? I doubt it.
Anyway,
I guess my thing is, medically speaking I'm not fat. My BMI is in the normal range. Every so often, it creeps up into the overweight range, but never more than a few pounds.
But with today's standard of beauty, I'm a fatty. I look at myself in the mirror and in pictures and don't see what equals beauty in our society,
A part of me wonders, even if I'm a good woman and keep my negativity to myself, will it matter to the children in my life? Can it counteract all the messages of skinny=beautiful that they receive?
I tried to fight against it. I have failed. Can I expect them to fare better?
Well, I'll try my best to have a better attitude—at least when talking out loud.
2. Finished reading Dragon Man. Finally.
It took a long time because I alternated my reading time between that and a zombie novel.
3. Started reading Mac Slater Hunts The Cool by Tristan Bancks. It's a kids book.
I wonder if Jack would like it.
4. Had a movie playing in the motel room. It's with Hugh Jackman, and has vampires and werewolves. Maybe it's Van Helsing?
We don't have the internet here, so I can't look it up.
I think maybe David Wenham is in the movie as well.
5. Watched credits of movie.
David Wenham IS one of the stars. Richard Roxburgh is in it too.
6. Had a lucid dream in which I'm searching for Julian McMahon. I used to have these dreams a lot. Now I have them every so often.
In last night's dream: I'm in a new location, not one I usually go to in my lucid dreams. It has a big sports arena. I go up to people and ask if they've seen Julian McMahon. A few say yes, and say he's here. I feel hopeful that this time I might actually find him.
At one point I tell people I'm a stalker, but they don't need to worry because I'm not dangerous. I only do the stalking thing in my dreams, not in real life.
Later I go near the sports arena. I find this blond guy with an accent. He seems to be German, maybe? I ask him if he's seen Julian McMahon. He says he IS Julian McMahon. But his name is spelled a bit differently. I get the idea that this is the Julian McMahon everyone has been talking about when I asked.
7. Wondered what my dream self plans to do when I find Julian McMahon.
Maybe I'll try to sell him Girl Scout Cookies?
8. Looked at my Statcounter. Several Americans have come to my blog using keywords along the lines of Qantas and Jews.
What's the deal with that?
9. Counted the Americans. There were seven of them. The first came at 9:25 pm and the last came at 12:01 am.
Maybe there was something on the news about Jews and Qantas.
Maybe some comedian made a joke?
10. Saw another topic bringing Americans to my blog today—Thelma Keane. I've had nine people visiting via keywords related to the Keane family.
What's up with that?
11. Googled and found out that Bill Keane died today.
Jack and I are both fans of his work. I loved The Family Circus when I was a child; then a few year ago, Jack got really into it.
Well, I'm hoping Keane's reunited with his wife...out there...somewhere.
12. Went to bed, had a long sleep, and lots of dreams. Some of them were related to Australia or Australians.
In one, I seem to be part of a new family or group of friends. I feel loved and accepted by them. At one point, I think of telling one of them that when I die I'd like to be buried with an Australian flag. In my mind I'm picturing an Australian flag towel. Then I decide not to say that, because it sounds melodramatic.
In another dream, we're living in Chattanooga Tennessee in some kind of temporary situation. A bunch of other people are part of this temporary situation, including some Australians. And one of the Australians is my friend Gina.
That dream ended for awhile. But then it came back....sort of.
But then I start to question that. Maybe there's enough food in my eyes, but my family might see things differently.
13. Angered by what I read on this editorial by Nick O'Byrne. Apparently a group called Commercial Radio Australia wants to put an end to the rule that says radio stations have to dedicate a portion of their playing time to local artists.
According to O'Byrne, contemporary commercial radio stations in Australia must use 6.25% of their playing time for Aussie music. I think that's not enough Australian music. Some people from the radio stations think 6.25% is way too much. They don't want to torture their poor listeners with songs by Missy Higgins, Cold Chisel, Nick Cave, Angus and Julia Stone, Hilltop Hoods, Sarah Blasko, Jessica Mauboy, etc.
I don't know. It's just a horrible thing for these radio stations to say. What they're saying is that Australian music isn't good enough.
That's ridiculous. The problem with Australian music is that it's ignored.
I think it's sad enough that it's ignored here in America. There are so many fantastic Australian songs, and I'm sad that so few Americans have heard of many of them.
But for musicians to be rejected by their own local music stations?
It's crazy.
Personally, if I was in Australia, I'd protest this attitude by never listening to commercial radio stations. I'd stick to the ones willing to play a LOT of Australian music.
14. Went to the website of Commercial Radio Australia. I'm wondering if I can get some insight into the issue.
15. Found page about supporting Australian artists. They say they have quotas to fill, but the page itself doesn't express complaint about these quotas.
I'm wondering if it's a faction within Commercial Radio Australia that wants an end to the quotas, rather than the organization as a whole.
16. Found an article about the radio issue.
Commercial Radio Australia's complaint is that they have to follow the quotas while internet music stations do not.
So is their complaint that people are listening to the internet more than regular radio?
I don't know statistics; but I know that I rarely listen to the regular radio anymore.
Then again, I don't really listen to internet radio either. I listen to iTunes or videos on YouTube.
I think it's fair for Commercial Radio Australia to want the rules to apply to internet radio as well. But I don't think they should be fighting against the quota.
They should be eager and proud to play Australian music.
17. Reread some of O'Byrne's editorial.
I misread the statistics a little bit.
Australian radio stations are actually required to dedicate 25% of their playing time to Aussie music. That's fair. It's better than only 6.25%.
The 6.25% refers to NEW Aussie music. New Australian artists are getting only 6.25% of radio-playing time. It's going to be hard to boost their careers at that level. How are they going to compete with other artists who are getting much more playtime?
18. Went to Tallygarunga.
Today I'm going to be reading a story thread called Fear, Itself.
I wonder if I'll feel totally lost while reading it.
Did a lot happen while I was away?
19. Saw that the story involves Jack Dalton and Reade Ainsworth.
It takes place in the dueling classroom in the Eureka Underground Hallway.
20. Confused.
The story is supposed to take place on November 11.
Yet the first two posts were posted on October 14. I've never seen Tally writers go so far in the future.
I'm wondering if originally the story was supposed to take place in October, and then maybe they changed it?
21. Started reading.
The story takes place after the Quidditch field incident. That's when Reade fought back and hurt Jackson. Now Jackson is seeking revenge by meeting up with Reade after their potions class.
22. Felt sad for Reade. He's going through all that crap with Arti being in the hospital. Then he has to deal with Jackson as well.
One thing I've learned, in the past few years, is that some people don't hold back their meanness when you're having a hard time in life.
People will kick you when you're up, and they'll also happily kick you when you're down.
That's not to say that people should hold back all complaints and be sweeter than Stevia when we're having a bad day, week, month, or year. But they could try to have a LITTLE extra compassion.
Couldn't Jackson wait until Arti was out of the hospital, and then attack Reade?
Well, no because he's a bully. And bullies tend to lack compassion and empathy.
23. Confused by the story again.
But now I've figured it out.
There were these people talking to Jackson while he had Reade paralyzed with some spell. I couldn't figure out what was going on.
It turns out Jackson his having some type of hallucination-type thing. He's seeing/hearing his parents. They're there to criticize him.
That's the thing about parental criticism. It sticks around even when your parents are far away.
24. Found out that Jackson isn't having mental-type hallucinations. He's encountered a Boggart. In the Harry Potter universe, these are spirits that take on the form of our biggest fears. The way to fight them is to imagine the fear in a silly way.
Jackson imagines his parents roller skating in spandex.
25. Learned that Jackson himself brought the Boggart into school. He planned to use it against Reade. He's still planning to do that, but he himself got a little taste of the nastiness.
26. Got an explanation for the weird timing of the post.
In small print Jackson's role-player says OOC: Due to my unexpected hiatus, the date of the scene in this thread has been moved forward to present time.
That makes sense. And I think it was a wise choice.
27. Hoped nothing bad happened to cause the unexpected hiatus. Jackson's role-player is very nice.
That's not to say I'd be okay with a bad thing happening to a not-so-nice role-player.
Maybe something great happened to cause the hiatus. That would be fun.
28. Touched by Reade's ability to have empathy for Jackson.
His post says, From what they were saying Reade started to realise that they were Jackson's parents and that they were very disappointed in their son. Despite the current situation, being body-bound and scared he was about to get beaten up, Reade's heart went out to the other boy. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if his own parents spoke to him like that.
Reade does have very nice parents. He's lucky. But he could still find excuses to be miserable and cruel.
And there are probably lots of kids who have disapproving parents. Not all of them turn out to be bullies.
29. Left with a bit of a cliffhanger. Reade is about to face his biggest fear. He doesn't know what that is, and I don't either.
I guess we'll find out soon.
30. Thought of my two biggest fears. I've faced both of them in nightmares and bad dreams. I survived. As long as it's not real, it's not too bad. Since the scary things don't happen in lucid dreams, I don't know they're fake. I think it's real. But then I wake up and I feel relieved.
31. Saw that my Australian of the year is Caroline Lillian Archer.
She was a telephonist.
I'm not sure what that means.
Maybe it's an operator?
Archer also worked with causes involving Aboriginal rights.
32. Saw that Archer was born on February 22 in 1922. That's a lot of 22. In numerology, 22 is a master number.
Oh...and February is the 2nd month of the year.
Archer had a lot of 2's in her birthday. It would be 2/22/22.
33. Learned that Archer was born in an Aboriginal Reserve in Cherbourg, Queensland. Her father was white, and her mother was Aboriginal.
Back when Archer was born, Queensland had a policy of segregating the Aboriginal people from the other people. So that's why she was living on a reserve.
Archer had a rough childhood. She didn't get enough to eat. This caused ill health and a permanent limp.
34. Learned that when Archer was fourteen, she went to work for some white people—the Kay family. It seems they were fairly decent. They paid Archer a white person's wages and they also gave her career encouragement.
Encouragement is a really nice thing. I think it gives us strength, and that strength makes it more likely we'll succeed. But if we do end up failing, it hurts less when we know people have been genuinely behind us.
35. Continued to read about Archer. The Australian Dictionary of Biography says she gained switchboard skills. I'm guessing that refers to being a telephone operator.
Archer was able to obtain full citizen's rights. This was not something that came automatically to Aboriginal people. But Archer was able to obtain it by meeting some standards.
36. Learned that Archer was involved with an organization called OPAL (One People of Australia League). The purpose of the organization was to bring Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people together.
37. Found information on the National Museum of Australia's website about One People of Australia League.
It was a pro-assimilation organization.
I'm guessing that means they wanted Aboriginal people to act more white.
It fits in with what the Australian Dictionary of Australia says about Caroline Archer.
They say.....she was consciously 'middle of the road' in her views; she had little regard for radical solutions to racial issues and referred to herself as an 'Australian first and then an Aborigine.
38. Thought about the way people define themselves. In some ways, it can make us feel more secure. It helps give us an identity. But then I also think it can put up a wall between us and others.
If I define myself by my gender, then I put up a wall against men.
If I define myself by my nationality, I put up a wall against people that are not American.
If I define myself by my spiritual beliefs, I put up a wall against those who believe differently.
If I define myself by my ethnicity, I put up a wall against those who aren't from the same ethnic group.
39. Decided I'll just define myself as being weird.
I guess I'll have a wall up against those who aren't weird—those who are boring, blah, and don't show ability to think for themselves.
40. Decided most people though are at least a LITTLE weird.
41. Wondered if maybe all people are weird. It's probably just that some folks try harder to hide it.
42. Liked that non-human animals can also fit into the weird catagory.
Both my cats are very weird.
All my childhood dogs were weird.
43. Wished I could divide the world into nice and mean people. It would make life a lot more easier for me.
I'm so confused right now about things.
Right now I have a wall up against pretty much everyone. Or at least I try to keep it up. At weak moments I let it come down. Then I usually regret it afterwards.
I feel this collective anger towards almost everyone. The exception is Jack.
Then someone will say or do something sweet. It will usually give me tears, and then I'll feel guilty for sticking them in the same category of all those who are annoying me right now. What makes things worse is I'll then start thinking of other nice things they've said and done in the past. I'll feel awful for forgetting those things.
But then just as I'm starting to think, maybe I DO have people I can stick in the can-be-counted-on category, I remember times that they weren't nice to me.
44. Figured the best way to be able to love people is have extremely low expectations of them.
But then when I do that....
Well, I feel like a total snob.
In most of my relationships, I let the other person do most of the talking. They talk about their lives—their achievements, problems, and news. Some of them read my blog and so it evens out somewhat. I may not give a lot on a one-to-one basis, but they get some stuff by coming here.
Other people don't read my blog and it's usually a one way street. They open up to me, and I try hard to stay as closed as possible to them.
It makes me feel strong in the same way I felt strong when having an eating disorder. It's that feeling we get watching other people eat huge sundaes while we have the self-discipline to sit there eating a raw apple.
There's a sense of superiority.
But there's also a huge sense of loneliness and deprivation.
Sometimes we might give in and eat the big sundae. It feels so good. It tastes so good. There's a sense of relief...of belonging. There's that question. Can I leave this deprivation behind? Can I allow myself to be like everyone else? At the same time, though, there's worry and guilt. There's a feeling of weakness and failure.
Then later the good feelings go away. We're left with a stomach ache and higher numbers on the bathroom scale.
Note: I'm just being symbolic here. These days I'm usually perfectly happy to eat a sundae. We shared three at Disney World.
45. Thought about my talking-anorexia. I'm borrowing that phrase from John Marsden's novel I Have So Much To Tell You. Although her cause was much more severe. She literally stopped speaking.
I still speak. I haven't become mute, or anything.
Anyway, it all started in February 2008 and I've had the problems off and on since then.
It started with something so stupid. If I told a therapist, they'd probably have to leave the room in order to not start laughing at me.
So...here's the story.
I was having MAJOR marriage problems. I had been feeling the problems for many years, and kept them secret. Then, finally, I started opening up to people. Some tried to be supportive, but I could tell they thought I was a cold-hearted bitch who should just shut up and be happy.
In February.....
We had recently been in Australia, and I was very depressed about coming back to America.
My sister was leaving in a few weeks to go to Australia. I was extremely jealous of her.
For Valentines' Day, Tim took some of our Australia trip photos and turned them into a poster. I was supposed to love it. Instead I hated it and felt so angry. I didn't see it as Tim giving me an Australia-related gift. I saw it as him showing off his photography and making it look like he was the most romantic husband on the planet. I knew my family would see it and think, how lucky you are to have Tim. Why can't you appreciate him? He gives such thoughtful gifts!
But I saw the gift as being thoughtful only on the surface. The main reason for this, were the pictures Tim chose for the poster. For example, there were ones from Luna Park, and I didn't like Luna Park. Jack got hurt there and the clown was creepy to me. It was one of the few things about Australia that I didn't like. I felt if Tim really knew me and loved me, he would have known that and kept off the pictures of Luna Park.
I also thought he should have included some of the pictures that I had taken—displayed some of my photography. It kind of symbolized the way I often felt in the relationship. I have often felt Tim LOVES to do things for me. But I often feel he doesn't love and appreciate what I do for him, or what I do in general.
It all sounds very silly. I know.
And....
Yeah. I'm very picky when it comes to gifts. But you have to understand that my mind was already very troubled at the time. My heart was blackened. At other times, I'd likely appreciate the gift and shrug my shoulders at the choice of photos.
The other thing was that I had recently opened up to one of my sister's about my marriage problems. She wasn't very empathetic. Then a few days later, she called (or emailed) Tim behind my back to get help on something. She made plans with Tim to come over so she could get help from him. I do believe that in-laws can have friendships regardless of the relationship status of the spouses. But for her to do that so soon after I had talked about my marriage problems? It was a slap in the face.
Something snapped in me and I spent the next few months not opening up to anyone. I built up a huge wall. Not many people noticed. Or at least they showed no evidence of caring. Some people seemed to love this side of me. They loved that they could talk and talk while I'd just listen. I wouldn't bore them with the details of my own life.
In late Spring, I got over it and slowly started opening up to people. Some of the results of this were positive. Some of them were very negative.
Relapses started to occur when I realized more often the results were negative than positive.
Having this blog has helped probably in some ways. It's the one person who will sit there and listen to me. It's not really a person, though. It's an internet program, but it's made up of people listening. Maybe.
Sometimes I think people skip over all this personal stuff.
Actually, I often think that.
Or I figure they roll their eyes at me.
I'm rarely able to imagine people reading and feeling sympathetic.
I think they're bored. I think they're saying, Just shut up and get back to the Australia stuff.
46. Thought about something someone has said to me recently—about no longer caring what people think of them. I wish I could get to that point. And maybe I AM getting there.
I started to think, I'm going to lose readers if I keep blabbing on and on about all this. Then I thought, I don't really care at this point.
I'm sick of doing things to please other people.
I'm sick of worrying that I'm going to alienate people.
I'm sick of forcing myself to make jokes so I don't sound absolutely miserable. And no I'm not absolutely miserable all the time. Most of the time I'm happy. Despite my angst, I had a GREAT time at Disney World. We all did. But there have been moments in the past few weeks where I've felt awful. And I'm sick of feeling I have to lighten the mood (during these moments) so I don't scare people away.
I guess maybe now I WANT people to go away—at least the ones that make me feel I have to be happy, funny, and self-sacrificing all the time.
47. Figured I'll have a ton of regret if I don't delete this stuff from my blog.
But I think I'll have even more regret if I DO delete it.
Oh well......
48. Decided to get back to the Australia stuff.
Right now I'm not feeling a lot of the Australia love.
I think it's because I'm wrapped up in my own problems.
And then there's that uncertainty of whether we're going to Australia or not. That complicates things. I look at names of places and think, We're going to go there! No wait we're not going to go there. Or maybe we are going to go there. Are we going to go there? Maybe we're going to go there. Then again....maybe we're not going to go there.
Seriously. I'm a mess.
I should just love Australia—every little bit, and not worry if I'm going to see it in person or not. If I give love to only the places we plan to visit, I'll probably be sick of them by the time we get there.
49. Thought about another one of my psychological issues. I've felt stupid, ashamed, and annoying by keep changing our we're-going-to-Australia news. Why?!
How is it going to hurt or bother anyone by us going to Australia or not going to Australia? I know there are a few people who will be happy to see us, but they won't be destroyed if we don't come to visit. And even if they're sweet enough to be disappointed, I don't think they'll blame us for having to change our plans.
Most people understand financial restraints, health restraints, etc.
At least I hope so.
50. Looked at the Australia Monopoly Board.
Today my space is Sydney Station.
What is Sydney Station?
I don't remember a Sydney Station.
I remember a Central Station. Is that what they're referring to? Or is there an actual Sydney Station?
51. Found out from Lord Wiki that the board is referring to Central Station.
Thank you, Lord Wiki. Now I feel a little less dumb.
52. Learned that the main station in Sydney used to be called Sydney Station.
Lord Wiki is talking about it's history. I'm a bit confused. But there's some station that was built over a former cemetery. They had to move the graves. Hopefully, they moved the bodies and not just the headstones, like the realtor company did in Poltergeist.
53. Did some more reading. The station built on the old grave site was Redfern Station.
If I'm understanding things right, this was the main station prior to Central Station being the main station.
54. Learned that part of Central Station has been transformed into a hostel. The rooms look like old train carriages.
Didn't I read about that recently?
55. Looked at a website about the Railway Square Hostel.
I don't think I've been to the site before, but the idea sounds so familiar to me. Maybe I read about it somewhere else?
56. Read reviews about the hostel. Apparently the rooms are right near the platforms of the working trains. You can hear the people waiting for the trains.
57. Found a new Flickr account to stalk.
I didn't find it in my usual way.
I found it because I looked on Flickr for photos of the Railway Square Hostel.
I found some photos on an account called Fredweng. The account belongs to a guy named Ling Chih Weng.
I looked at his sets. There's a bunch of Australian ones. I thought, this might be a fun account to stalk.
I'm excited.
But I'm probably going to wait until tomorrow to start my stalking.
58. Thought about my issues again.
Sometimes I'll feel guilty for holding things back from people. I get the delusion that people want me to open up and talk more. I'll decide to say something. I expect that they'll be excited and eager to hear from me—that they'll listen extra carefully to make sure I'll keep on talking.
Usually, they end up looking really bored. They interrupt. They seem eager to get the conversation back towards themselves.
This happened with a friend. I had gone back to a stage of holding back from her. I let her do all the talking. She went on and on about happenings in her life. I dutifully listened. Then I had a moment of weakness and said something about my own life. No, actually it wasn't even about my life directly. I shared a fact about boomerangs.
She gave me this look.
I don't know how to interpret it really. I mean MAYBE she was interested and just didn't know how to show it. Maybe I misread her facial expression. But to me she looked annoyed that I dared to bring up something that wasn't about her life.
59. Wanted to clarify that I didn't randomly bring up boomerangs. Then my friend's look would have been along the lines of, Oh, that's so random. Why is she bringing that up now?
No. We were in the swimming pool. And there was a Nerf boomerang. I told her that not all boomerangs come back to you. The ones for hunting aren't supposed to do that. I wanted her to say Oh cool. Really. I never knew that. It would be a bit less fun if she already knew that. But then she could have said, Oh yeah. I heard that before! Instead she gave this kind of uh huh response. Or maybe she said nothing. It was either nothing or close to nothing.
60. Thought about how my eating disorder and talking issues are very similar. In both, I have delusions that people will want me to get well. I imagine they want me to talk more, eat a healthy balanced diet, and have a positive body image.
But in the end....in most cases, it's bullshit.
Most people want me to be quiet and they want me to be skinny.
61. Decided "most" is probably too strong a word.
Maybe instead I'll say "too many"
Or I can just say there's enough people with that attitude to make me feel a bit sad.
62. Decided to take a Funtrivia quiz about Gundagai.
I'll probably get most of it wrong.
I can't even remember what state Gundagai is in. I want to say New South Wales. But it could be Queensland or South Australia.
63. Got the first question wrong and learned the name Gundagai is derived from the Aboriginal phrase gundabandoo-bingee.
64. Wished I knew the lyrics of one of the Gundagai songs. That would probably help me answer the questions.
65. Got the second question wrong and learned the Aboriginal group originally in the Gundagai area are known as Wiradjuri. They sound familiar to me.
The quiz answer mentions New South Wales. So maybe I got at least that bit right about Gundagai.
66. Consulted Lord Wiki about the Wiradjuri people. He says they're from the central part of New South Wales.
Mum Shirl was one of them.
67. Got the third question right and the fourth question wrong. Now I know that there was a bad flood in Gundagai in June 1852.
The quiz answer says the town was moved because of the flood.
It was another one of those moved towns—like that one in the Snowy Mountains. I forgot the name.
I'll read about the moving of Gundagai after I finish the quiz. If I look now, I'm afraid I'll end up accidentally cheating on the quiz.
68. Got questions five, six, and seven right—mostly from guessing.
I got the eighth one wrong thinking, of course, Jack O'Hagan didn't write a song called "When a Boy From Alabama Meets a Girl From Gundagai".
It turns out he did write a song with that name.
69. Finished the quiz. I got a 6/10 which is the average score. It's not too bad for a tough quiz.
I'm not that proud of myself, though. Most of my correct answers were a matter of good luck.
I did well on guessing today.
70. Consulted Lord Wiki about Gundagai. The original town in it's original location was founded in 1838.
In 1852, the flood killed 78-89 out of the 250 inhabitants. Then the town was moved.
71. Tried to remember the name of the town in The Snowy Mountains that was moved.
I know it starts with an A.
I'll look on Google Maps. If I see it, I'll know it.
72. Found the town on Google Maps.
The name is Adaminaby.
On the map, you can see the old and new location of the town. The old one seems to be in the middle of a lake....and it is. A few years ago, during the drought, some of the town started to resurface.
73. Wanted to remind people that Tim eventually ended up giving me a fantastic Australia-related gift. He struggled and succeeded in getting me access to watching Offspring.
I really loved that gift. It was thoughtful, enjoyable, and I was very impressed with what he went through to get me the gift.
I like when people do things for me. But what I love is when people show they KNOW me. I like when people show that they've been listening and paying attention. I liked that Tim knew how much I wanted to watch Offspring.
74. Wanted to add a piece of information about my dream last night. I meant to talk about it earlier; but I forgot.
There was another dream that might have been connected to the one in which I'm part of a new family. I had a new man in my life (which might explain the new family). He was a sports player of some type. He had a problem with his liver and he wore a retainer.
I don't know.
I think it's kind of funny that I dreamed I was dating a sports guy. Then the night before, I had a lucid dream involving a sports arena.
Maybe something is telling me I should get more into sports.
75. Decided I'll just ignore that message.
I can't imagine getting into sports.
76. Remembered Gina works in the sports field. And I also dreamed about her.
Wow.
This is all getting a bit eerie.
I went to read the article. They said the Westmead Children's Hospital in NSW told them that admissions for childhood anorexia has tripled in the last decade.
That's very sad.
Mia Freedman, a body image specialist, talks about how parents are so stressed about the two monsters looming on the opposite sides of the fence. On one side you have the terrifying obesity monster. On the other side, you have the crazed self-starvation monster.
How do we protect children from both obesity and anorexia?
One thing Mia Freedman says is we should be good role-models. We shouldn't complain about being fat in front of our children. This is probably especially true if we're not fat.
Last night I complained about being fat to Tim, in front of Jack.
I was feeling awful about myself. I needed reassurance. So I partook in the awfully pathetic activity of fishing for a compliment.
I said to Tim. I'm not as fat as I look.
I wanted to hear What? You don't look fat. And you're not fat.
What I got was, You're right. You're not that fat.
I fished for a compliment and got a boot...that kicked me in the gut.
We fought about it. I became even more whiny and pathetic.
Tim claimed he meant that we all HAVE fat. We're all fat.
I think there's a big difference between having fat and BEING fat.
Is it even medically possible to have 0% body fat? I doubt it.
Anyway,
I guess my thing is, medically speaking I'm not fat. My BMI is in the normal range. Every so often, it creeps up into the overweight range, but never more than a few pounds.
But with today's standard of beauty, I'm a fatty. I look at myself in the mirror and in pictures and don't see what equals beauty in our society,
A part of me wonders, even if I'm a good woman and keep my negativity to myself, will it matter to the children in my life? Can it counteract all the messages of skinny=beautiful that they receive?
I tried to fight against it. I have failed. Can I expect them to fare better?
Well, I'll try my best to have a better attitude—at least when talking out loud.
2. Finished reading Dragon Man. Finally.
It took a long time because I alternated my reading time between that and a zombie novel.
3. Started reading Mac Slater Hunts The Cool by Tristan Bancks. It's a kids book.
I wonder if Jack would like it.
4. Had a movie playing in the motel room. It's with Hugh Jackman, and has vampires and werewolves. Maybe it's Van Helsing?
We don't have the internet here, so I can't look it up.
I think maybe David Wenham is in the movie as well.
5. Watched credits of movie.
David Wenham IS one of the stars. Richard Roxburgh is in it too.
6. Had a lucid dream in which I'm searching for Julian McMahon. I used to have these dreams a lot. Now I have them every so often.
In last night's dream: I'm in a new location, not one I usually go to in my lucid dreams. It has a big sports arena. I go up to people and ask if they've seen Julian McMahon. A few say yes, and say he's here. I feel hopeful that this time I might actually find him.
At one point I tell people I'm a stalker, but they don't need to worry because I'm not dangerous. I only do the stalking thing in my dreams, not in real life.
Later I go near the sports arena. I find this blond guy with an accent. He seems to be German, maybe? I ask him if he's seen Julian McMahon. He says he IS Julian McMahon. But his name is spelled a bit differently. I get the idea that this is the Julian McMahon everyone has been talking about when I asked.
7. Wondered what my dream self plans to do when I find Julian McMahon.
Maybe I'll try to sell him Girl Scout Cookies?
8. Looked at my Statcounter. Several Americans have come to my blog using keywords along the lines of Qantas and Jews.
What's the deal with that?
9. Counted the Americans. There were seven of them. The first came at 9:25 pm and the last came at 12:01 am.
Maybe there was something on the news about Jews and Qantas.
Maybe some comedian made a joke?
10. Saw another topic bringing Americans to my blog today—Thelma Keane. I've had nine people visiting via keywords related to the Keane family.
What's up with that?
11. Googled and found out that Bill Keane died today.
Jack and I are both fans of his work. I loved The Family Circus when I was a child; then a few year ago, Jack got really into it.
Well, I'm hoping Keane's reunited with his wife...out there...somewhere.
12. Went to bed, had a long sleep, and lots of dreams. Some of them were related to Australia or Australians.
In one, I seem to be part of a new family or group of friends. I feel loved and accepted by them. At one point, I think of telling one of them that when I die I'd like to be buried with an Australian flag. In my mind I'm picturing an Australian flag towel. Then I decide not to say that, because it sounds melodramatic.
In another dream, we're living in Chattanooga Tennessee in some kind of temporary situation. A bunch of other people are part of this temporary situation, including some Australians. And one of the Australians is my friend Gina.
It's not like we're on holiday. We're living regular lives. Gina has a job working at a shop nearby.
I think about how I love living here, and I begin to wish it wasn't temporary.
That dream ended for awhile. But then it came back....sort of.
Tim has cooked this elaborate dinner for my family. It includes some fabulous desserts. I start to think there's way too much food for us. I decide it would be better if we had more people to eat with us. I think about Gina who works nearby. I consider inviting her over for dinner. It would be very last minute because we're eating in 20-30 minutes. But I figure there might be a chance she's available.
I consider asking my family first, and then decide there's no need. They won't mind.
13. Angered by what I read on this editorial by Nick O'Byrne. Apparently a group called Commercial Radio Australia wants to put an end to the rule that says radio stations have to dedicate a portion of their playing time to local artists.
According to O'Byrne, contemporary commercial radio stations in Australia must use 6.25% of their playing time for Aussie music. I think that's not enough Australian music. Some people from the radio stations think 6.25% is way too much. They don't want to torture their poor listeners with songs by Missy Higgins, Cold Chisel, Nick Cave, Angus and Julia Stone, Hilltop Hoods, Sarah Blasko, Jessica Mauboy, etc.
I don't know. It's just a horrible thing for these radio stations to say. What they're saying is that Australian music isn't good enough.
That's ridiculous. The problem with Australian music is that it's ignored.
I think it's sad enough that it's ignored here in America. There are so many fantastic Australian songs, and I'm sad that so few Americans have heard of many of them.
But for musicians to be rejected by their own local music stations?
It's crazy.
Personally, if I was in Australia, I'd protest this attitude by never listening to commercial radio stations. I'd stick to the ones willing to play a LOT of Australian music.
14. Went to the website of Commercial Radio Australia. I'm wondering if I can get some insight into the issue.
15. Found page about supporting Australian artists. They say they have quotas to fill, but the page itself doesn't express complaint about these quotas.
I'm wondering if it's a faction within Commercial Radio Australia that wants an end to the quotas, rather than the organization as a whole.
16. Found an article about the radio issue.
Commercial Radio Australia's complaint is that they have to follow the quotas while internet music stations do not.
So is their complaint that people are listening to the internet more than regular radio?
I don't know statistics; but I know that I rarely listen to the regular radio anymore.
Then again, I don't really listen to internet radio either. I listen to iTunes or videos on YouTube.
I think it's fair for Commercial Radio Australia to want the rules to apply to internet radio as well. But I don't think they should be fighting against the quota.
They should be eager and proud to play Australian music.
17. Reread some of O'Byrne's editorial.
I misread the statistics a little bit.
Australian radio stations are actually required to dedicate 25% of their playing time to Aussie music. That's fair. It's better than only 6.25%.
The 6.25% refers to NEW Aussie music. New Australian artists are getting only 6.25% of radio-playing time. It's going to be hard to boost their careers at that level. How are they going to compete with other artists who are getting much more playtime?
18. Went to Tallygarunga.
Today I'm going to be reading a story thread called Fear, Itself.
I wonder if I'll feel totally lost while reading it.
Did a lot happen while I was away?
19. Saw that the story involves Jack Dalton and Reade Ainsworth.
It takes place in the dueling classroom in the Eureka Underground Hallway.
20. Confused.
The story is supposed to take place on November 11.
Yet the first two posts were posted on October 14. I've never seen Tally writers go so far in the future.
I'm wondering if originally the story was supposed to take place in October, and then maybe they changed it?
21. Started reading.
The story takes place after the Quidditch field incident. That's when Reade fought back and hurt Jackson. Now Jackson is seeking revenge by meeting up with Reade after their potions class.
22. Felt sad for Reade. He's going through all that crap with Arti being in the hospital. Then he has to deal with Jackson as well.
One thing I've learned, in the past few years, is that some people don't hold back their meanness when you're having a hard time in life.
People will kick you when you're up, and they'll also happily kick you when you're down.
That's not to say that people should hold back all complaints and be sweeter than Stevia when we're having a bad day, week, month, or year. But they could try to have a LITTLE extra compassion.
Couldn't Jackson wait until Arti was out of the hospital, and then attack Reade?
Well, no because he's a bully. And bullies tend to lack compassion and empathy.
23. Confused by the story again.
But now I've figured it out.
There were these people talking to Jackson while he had Reade paralyzed with some spell. I couldn't figure out what was going on.
It turns out Jackson his having some type of hallucination-type thing. He's seeing/hearing his parents. They're there to criticize him.
That's the thing about parental criticism. It sticks around even when your parents are far away.
24. Found out that Jackson isn't having mental-type hallucinations. He's encountered a Boggart. In the Harry Potter universe, these are spirits that take on the form of our biggest fears. The way to fight them is to imagine the fear in a silly way.
Jackson imagines his parents roller skating in spandex.
25. Learned that Jackson himself brought the Boggart into school. He planned to use it against Reade. He's still planning to do that, but he himself got a little taste of the nastiness.
26. Got an explanation for the weird timing of the post.
In small print Jackson's role-player says OOC: Due to my unexpected hiatus, the date of the scene in this thread has been moved forward to present time.
That makes sense. And I think it was a wise choice.
27. Hoped nothing bad happened to cause the unexpected hiatus. Jackson's role-player is very nice.
That's not to say I'd be okay with a bad thing happening to a not-so-nice role-player.
Maybe something great happened to cause the hiatus. That would be fun.
28. Touched by Reade's ability to have empathy for Jackson.
His post says, From what they were saying Reade started to realise that they were Jackson's parents and that they were very disappointed in their son. Despite the current situation, being body-bound and scared he was about to get beaten up, Reade's heart went out to the other boy. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if his own parents spoke to him like that.
Reade does have very nice parents. He's lucky. But he could still find excuses to be miserable and cruel.
And there are probably lots of kids who have disapproving parents. Not all of them turn out to be bullies.
29. Left with a bit of a cliffhanger. Reade is about to face his biggest fear. He doesn't know what that is, and I don't either.
I guess we'll find out soon.
30. Thought of my two biggest fears. I've faced both of them in nightmares and bad dreams. I survived. As long as it's not real, it's not too bad. Since the scary things don't happen in lucid dreams, I don't know they're fake. I think it's real. But then I wake up and I feel relieved.
31. Saw that my Australian of the year is Caroline Lillian Archer.
She was a telephonist.
I'm not sure what that means.
Maybe it's an operator?
Archer also worked with causes involving Aboriginal rights.
32. Saw that Archer was born on February 22 in 1922. That's a lot of 22. In numerology, 22 is a master number.
Oh...and February is the 2nd month of the year.
Archer had a lot of 2's in her birthday. It would be 2/22/22.
33. Learned that Archer was born in an Aboriginal Reserve in Cherbourg, Queensland. Her father was white, and her mother was Aboriginal.
Back when Archer was born, Queensland had a policy of segregating the Aboriginal people from the other people. So that's why she was living on a reserve.
Archer had a rough childhood. She didn't get enough to eat. This caused ill health and a permanent limp.
34. Learned that when Archer was fourteen, she went to work for some white people—the Kay family. It seems they were fairly decent. They paid Archer a white person's wages and they also gave her career encouragement.
Encouragement is a really nice thing. I think it gives us strength, and that strength makes it more likely we'll succeed. But if we do end up failing, it hurts less when we know people have been genuinely behind us.
35. Continued to read about Archer. The Australian Dictionary of Biography says she gained switchboard skills. I'm guessing that refers to being a telephone operator.
Archer was able to obtain full citizen's rights. This was not something that came automatically to Aboriginal people. But Archer was able to obtain it by meeting some standards.
36. Learned that Archer was involved with an organization called OPAL (One People of Australia League). The purpose of the organization was to bring Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people together.
37. Found information on the National Museum of Australia's website about One People of Australia League.
It was a pro-assimilation organization.
I'm guessing that means they wanted Aboriginal people to act more white.
It fits in with what the Australian Dictionary of Australia says about Caroline Archer.
They say.....she was consciously 'middle of the road' in her views; she had little regard for radical solutions to racial issues and referred to herself as an 'Australian first and then an Aborigine.
38. Thought about the way people define themselves. In some ways, it can make us feel more secure. It helps give us an identity. But then I also think it can put up a wall between us and others.
If I define myself by my gender, then I put up a wall against men.
If I define myself by my nationality, I put up a wall against people that are not American.
If I define myself by my spiritual beliefs, I put up a wall against those who believe differently.
If I define myself by my ethnicity, I put up a wall against those who aren't from the same ethnic group.
39. Decided I'll just define myself as being weird.
I guess I'll have a wall up against those who aren't weird—those who are boring, blah, and don't show ability to think for themselves.
40. Decided most people though are at least a LITTLE weird.
41. Wondered if maybe all people are weird. It's probably just that some folks try harder to hide it.
42. Liked that non-human animals can also fit into the weird catagory.
Both my cats are very weird.
All my childhood dogs were weird.
43. Wished I could divide the world into nice and mean people. It would make life a lot more easier for me.
I'm so confused right now about things.
Right now I have a wall up against pretty much everyone. Or at least I try to keep it up. At weak moments I let it come down. Then I usually regret it afterwards.
I feel this collective anger towards almost everyone. The exception is Jack.
Then someone will say or do something sweet. It will usually give me tears, and then I'll feel guilty for sticking them in the same category of all those who are annoying me right now. What makes things worse is I'll then start thinking of other nice things they've said and done in the past. I'll feel awful for forgetting those things.
But then just as I'm starting to think, maybe I DO have people I can stick in the can-be-counted-on category, I remember times that they weren't nice to me.
44. Figured the best way to be able to love people is have extremely low expectations of them.
But then when I do that....
Well, I feel like a total snob.
In most of my relationships, I let the other person do most of the talking. They talk about their lives—their achievements, problems, and news. Some of them read my blog and so it evens out somewhat. I may not give a lot on a one-to-one basis, but they get some stuff by coming here.
Other people don't read my blog and it's usually a one way street. They open up to me, and I try hard to stay as closed as possible to them.
It makes me feel strong in the same way I felt strong when having an eating disorder. It's that feeling we get watching other people eat huge sundaes while we have the self-discipline to sit there eating a raw apple.
There's a sense of superiority.
But there's also a huge sense of loneliness and deprivation.
Sometimes we might give in and eat the big sundae. It feels so good. It tastes so good. There's a sense of relief...of belonging. There's that question. Can I leave this deprivation behind? Can I allow myself to be like everyone else? At the same time, though, there's worry and guilt. There's a feeling of weakness and failure.
Then later the good feelings go away. We're left with a stomach ache and higher numbers on the bathroom scale.
Note: I'm just being symbolic here. These days I'm usually perfectly happy to eat a sundae. We shared three at Disney World.
45. Thought about my talking-anorexia. I'm borrowing that phrase from John Marsden's novel I Have So Much To Tell You. Although her cause was much more severe. She literally stopped speaking.
I still speak. I haven't become mute, or anything.
Anyway, it all started in February 2008 and I've had the problems off and on since then.
It started with something so stupid. If I told a therapist, they'd probably have to leave the room in order to not start laughing at me.
So...here's the story.
I was having MAJOR marriage problems. I had been feeling the problems for many years, and kept them secret. Then, finally, I started opening up to people. Some tried to be supportive, but I could tell they thought I was a cold-hearted bitch who should just shut up and be happy.
In February.....
We had recently been in Australia, and I was very depressed about coming back to America.
My sister was leaving in a few weeks to go to Australia. I was extremely jealous of her.
For Valentines' Day, Tim took some of our Australia trip photos and turned them into a poster. I was supposed to love it. Instead I hated it and felt so angry. I didn't see it as Tim giving me an Australia-related gift. I saw it as him showing off his photography and making it look like he was the most romantic husband on the planet. I knew my family would see it and think, how lucky you are to have Tim. Why can't you appreciate him? He gives such thoughtful gifts!
But I saw the gift as being thoughtful only on the surface. The main reason for this, were the pictures Tim chose for the poster. For example, there were ones from Luna Park, and I didn't like Luna Park. Jack got hurt there and the clown was creepy to me. It was one of the few things about Australia that I didn't like. I felt if Tim really knew me and loved me, he would have known that and kept off the pictures of Luna Park.
I also thought he should have included some of the pictures that I had taken—displayed some of my photography. It kind of symbolized the way I often felt in the relationship. I have often felt Tim LOVES to do things for me. But I often feel he doesn't love and appreciate what I do for him, or what I do in general.
It all sounds very silly. I know.
And....
Yeah. I'm very picky when it comes to gifts. But you have to understand that my mind was already very troubled at the time. My heart was blackened. At other times, I'd likely appreciate the gift and shrug my shoulders at the choice of photos.
The other thing was that I had recently opened up to one of my sister's about my marriage problems. She wasn't very empathetic. Then a few days later, she called (or emailed) Tim behind my back to get help on something. She made plans with Tim to come over so she could get help from him. I do believe that in-laws can have friendships regardless of the relationship status of the spouses. But for her to do that so soon after I had talked about my marriage problems? It was a slap in the face.
Something snapped in me and I spent the next few months not opening up to anyone. I built up a huge wall. Not many people noticed. Or at least they showed no evidence of caring. Some people seemed to love this side of me. They loved that they could talk and talk while I'd just listen. I wouldn't bore them with the details of my own life.
In late Spring, I got over it and slowly started opening up to people. Some of the results of this were positive. Some of them were very negative.
Relapses started to occur when I realized more often the results were negative than positive.
Having this blog has helped probably in some ways. It's the one person who will sit there and listen to me. It's not really a person, though. It's an internet program, but it's made up of people listening. Maybe.
Sometimes I think people skip over all this personal stuff.
Actually, I often think that.
Or I figure they roll their eyes at me.
I'm rarely able to imagine people reading and feeling sympathetic.
I think they're bored. I think they're saying, Just shut up and get back to the Australia stuff.
46. Thought about something someone has said to me recently—about no longer caring what people think of them. I wish I could get to that point. And maybe I AM getting there.
I started to think, I'm going to lose readers if I keep blabbing on and on about all this. Then I thought, I don't really care at this point.
I'm sick of doing things to please other people.
I'm sick of worrying that I'm going to alienate people.
I'm sick of forcing myself to make jokes so I don't sound absolutely miserable. And no I'm not absolutely miserable all the time. Most of the time I'm happy. Despite my angst, I had a GREAT time at Disney World. We all did. But there have been moments in the past few weeks where I've felt awful. And I'm sick of feeling I have to lighten the mood (during these moments) so I don't scare people away.
I guess maybe now I WANT people to go away—at least the ones that make me feel I have to be happy, funny, and self-sacrificing all the time.
47. Figured I'll have a ton of regret if I don't delete this stuff from my blog.
But I think I'll have even more regret if I DO delete it.
Oh well......
48. Decided to get back to the Australia stuff.
Right now I'm not feeling a lot of the Australia love.
I think it's because I'm wrapped up in my own problems.
And then there's that uncertainty of whether we're going to Australia or not. That complicates things. I look at names of places and think, We're going to go there! No wait we're not going to go there. Or maybe we are going to go there. Are we going to go there? Maybe we're going to go there. Then again....maybe we're not going to go there.
Seriously. I'm a mess.
I should just love Australia—every little bit, and not worry if I'm going to see it in person or not. If I give love to only the places we plan to visit, I'll probably be sick of them by the time we get there.
49. Thought about another one of my psychological issues. I've felt stupid, ashamed, and annoying by keep changing our we're-going-to-Australia news. Why?!
How is it going to hurt or bother anyone by us going to Australia or not going to Australia? I know there are a few people who will be happy to see us, but they won't be destroyed if we don't come to visit. And even if they're sweet enough to be disappointed, I don't think they'll blame us for having to change our plans.
Most people understand financial restraints, health restraints, etc.
At least I hope so.
50. Looked at the Australia Monopoly Board.
Today my space is Sydney Station.
What is Sydney Station?
I don't remember a Sydney Station.
I remember a Central Station. Is that what they're referring to? Or is there an actual Sydney Station?
51. Found out from Lord Wiki that the board is referring to Central Station.
Thank you, Lord Wiki. Now I feel a little less dumb.
52. Learned that the main station in Sydney used to be called Sydney Station.
Lord Wiki is talking about it's history. I'm a bit confused. But there's some station that was built over a former cemetery. They had to move the graves. Hopefully, they moved the bodies and not just the headstones, like the realtor company did in Poltergeist.
53. Did some more reading. The station built on the old grave site was Redfern Station.
If I'm understanding things right, this was the main station prior to Central Station being the main station.
54. Learned that part of Central Station has been transformed into a hostel. The rooms look like old train carriages.
Didn't I read about that recently?
55. Looked at a website about the Railway Square Hostel.
I don't think I've been to the site before, but the idea sounds so familiar to me. Maybe I read about it somewhere else?
56. Read reviews about the hostel. Apparently the rooms are right near the platforms of the working trains. You can hear the people waiting for the trains.
57. Found a new Flickr account to stalk.
I didn't find it in my usual way.
I found it because I looked on Flickr for photos of the Railway Square Hostel.
I found some photos on an account called Fredweng. The account belongs to a guy named Ling Chih Weng.
I looked at his sets. There's a bunch of Australian ones. I thought, this might be a fun account to stalk.
I'm excited.
But I'm probably going to wait until tomorrow to start my stalking.
58. Thought about my issues again.
Sometimes I'll feel guilty for holding things back from people. I get the delusion that people want me to open up and talk more. I'll decide to say something. I expect that they'll be excited and eager to hear from me—that they'll listen extra carefully to make sure I'll keep on talking.
Usually, they end up looking really bored. They interrupt. They seem eager to get the conversation back towards themselves.
This happened with a friend. I had gone back to a stage of holding back from her. I let her do all the talking. She went on and on about happenings in her life. I dutifully listened. Then I had a moment of weakness and said something about my own life. No, actually it wasn't even about my life directly. I shared a fact about boomerangs.
She gave me this look.
I don't know how to interpret it really. I mean MAYBE she was interested and just didn't know how to show it. Maybe I misread her facial expression. But to me she looked annoyed that I dared to bring up something that wasn't about her life.
59. Wanted to clarify that I didn't randomly bring up boomerangs. Then my friend's look would have been along the lines of, Oh, that's so random. Why is she bringing that up now?
No. We were in the swimming pool. And there was a Nerf boomerang. I told her that not all boomerangs come back to you. The ones for hunting aren't supposed to do that. I wanted her to say Oh cool. Really. I never knew that. It would be a bit less fun if she already knew that. But then she could have said, Oh yeah. I heard that before! Instead she gave this kind of uh huh response. Or maybe she said nothing. It was either nothing or close to nothing.
60. Thought about how my eating disorder and talking issues are very similar. In both, I have delusions that people will want me to get well. I imagine they want me to talk more, eat a healthy balanced diet, and have a positive body image.
But in the end....in most cases, it's bullshit.
Most people want me to be quiet and they want me to be skinny.
61. Decided "most" is probably too strong a word.
Maybe instead I'll say "too many"
Or I can just say there's enough people with that attitude to make me feel a bit sad.
62. Decided to take a Funtrivia quiz about Gundagai.
I'll probably get most of it wrong.
I can't even remember what state Gundagai is in. I want to say New South Wales. But it could be Queensland or South Australia.
63. Got the first question wrong and learned the name Gundagai is derived from the Aboriginal phrase gundabandoo-bingee.
64. Wished I knew the lyrics of one of the Gundagai songs. That would probably help me answer the questions.
65. Got the second question wrong and learned the Aboriginal group originally in the Gundagai area are known as Wiradjuri. They sound familiar to me.
The quiz answer mentions New South Wales. So maybe I got at least that bit right about Gundagai.
66. Consulted Lord Wiki about the Wiradjuri people. He says they're from the central part of New South Wales.
Mum Shirl was one of them.
67. Got the third question right and the fourth question wrong. Now I know that there was a bad flood in Gundagai in June 1852.
The quiz answer says the town was moved because of the flood.
It was another one of those moved towns—like that one in the Snowy Mountains. I forgot the name.
I'll read about the moving of Gundagai after I finish the quiz. If I look now, I'm afraid I'll end up accidentally cheating on the quiz.
68. Got questions five, six, and seven right—mostly from guessing.
I got the eighth one wrong thinking, of course, Jack O'Hagan didn't write a song called "When a Boy From Alabama Meets a Girl From Gundagai".
It turns out he did write a song with that name.
69. Finished the quiz. I got a 6/10 which is the average score. It's not too bad for a tough quiz.
I'm not that proud of myself, though. Most of my correct answers were a matter of good luck.
I did well on guessing today.
70. Consulted Lord Wiki about Gundagai. The original town in it's original location was founded in 1838.
In 1852, the flood killed 78-89 out of the 250 inhabitants. Then the town was moved.
71. Tried to remember the name of the town in The Snowy Mountains that was moved.
I know it starts with an A.
I'll look on Google Maps. If I see it, I'll know it.
72. Found the town on Google Maps.
The name is Adaminaby.
On the map, you can see the old and new location of the town. The old one seems to be in the middle of a lake....and it is. A few years ago, during the drought, some of the town started to resurface.
73. Wanted to remind people that Tim eventually ended up giving me a fantastic Australia-related gift. He struggled and succeeded in getting me access to watching Offspring.
I really loved that gift. It was thoughtful, enjoyable, and I was very impressed with what he went through to get me the gift.
I like when people do things for me. But what I love is when people show they KNOW me. I like when people show that they've been listening and paying attention. I liked that Tim knew how much I wanted to watch Offspring.
74. Wanted to add a piece of information about my dream last night. I meant to talk about it earlier; but I forgot.
There was another dream that might have been connected to the one in which I'm part of a new family. I had a new man in my life (which might explain the new family). He was a sports player of some type. He had a problem with his liver and he wore a retainer.
I don't know.
I think it's kind of funny that I dreamed I was dating a sports guy. Then the night before, I had a lucid dream involving a sports arena.
Maybe something is telling me I should get more into sports.
75. Decided I'll just ignore that message.
I can't imagine getting into sports.
76. Remembered Gina works in the sports field. And I also dreamed about her.
Wow.
This is all getting a bit eerie.