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Good-bye

I think I'm going to quit blogging.

I feel bad, since I'm in the middle of the big pretend trip project, but I'm starting to feel uncomfortable about the project.

I won't go into details about that. It's too hard to explain, really.

Just in general, I'm tired of having a public life.  

I want to just LIVE and not think, Will I blog about this?  And how should I talk about it?

I want to be free.

This decision came to me, all of a sudden, during dinner.   But I think I've been leading up to it since November.  I've been in a state of discontent.

I can't say this decision is easy for me. Of course I'm crying right now. A lot. 

I feel like I'm losing a huge part of myself.  But I feel like it's a part of myself that I need to lose. As they said in Lost.  I need to let go.

I think the thing that scares me is that I'll lose Australia. Because instead of getting my wish of moving there, I got this blog.  I worry that, without this blog, that part of my life will fade.

I don't want to lose it. I'm afraid to lose it.  

Yet sometimes I've worried that the reason I continue to love Australia is so that I can have a reason to continue my blog.

I think I need to figure all this out.  

Instead of figuring out if I'm a man or a Muppet; I need to figure out if I'm a person who blogs because she loves Australia, or a person who loves Australia so she can blog.   

Maybe by next week, without the blog, I won't care about Australia anymore.

OR....

Maybe letting go of the stresses and insecurities of blogging will give me a chance to relax and love Australia even more.

I don't want to be the weird American who's obsessed with Australia anymore. I just want to be Dina...who loves Australia, but doesn't need to write about it all the time.

I am REALLY scared right now.

But I think I'm going to be okay.

Thank you for reading.



P.S-If anyone is curious/interested and wants to keep up with our lives....I have a bunch of stuff on the blog sidebar (Flickr, Shelfari, YouTube, Jack's video game blog, etc).   That should give some idea what's going on in our lives; and you won't need to worry that we've dropped off the face of the earth.




Read my online novel: The Dead are Online  
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15 comments:

  1. MartinFebruary 4, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    I wish you good luck with whatever you choose to do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dina Roberts February 4, 2012 at 9:33 PM

    Martin,

    Thank you so much. For now I have to get through the crying stage.

    Then I'll figure out what happens next....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kate SparklesFebruary 4, 2012 at 10:39 PM

    It's a hard decision to make I'm sure.
    But Australia will always be here with or without your blog. And if you choose to forget about Aus for a while, well I'm sure we'll forgive you and welcome you back later on ;)

    You need to do what's right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MichaelFebruary 4, 2012 at 10:44 PM

    Sorry to hear of your anguish and I'll be sorry to lose your writing, if that's what you decide.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 5, 2012 at 1:04 AM

    I've learnt an awful lot from you, especially about Australia, so thank you. Just take a break. One day you might feel like coming back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. JackieFebruary 5, 2012 at 2:49 AM

    Been loving your blog. It has really made me smile. My Canberra computer will miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ann ODyneFebruary 5, 2012 at 4:24 AM

    Are you a man ... or a Muppet?
    Wasn't that just wonderful.

    Of course you need a break - your posts are so detailed and researched that I have learned stuff about my own country I hadn't known before.
    You can easily resume and we will all find each other again when you want to.
    Best wishes for your situation X X

    ReplyDelete
  8. diane bFebruary 5, 2012 at 4:50 AM

    Maybe you just need to take a break and return at a later date.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dina Roberts February 5, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    Kate: Thank you. My brain might forget a few things...very likely, actually. But I don't think my heart will.

    Michael: Thank you. Sorry.

    Andrew: Thank you. And thank you for suggesting the break thing. It's kind of less terrifying to look at it in that way.

    Jackie: Thank you and give my love to your Canberra computer ; )

    Ann O'Dyne: The Muppet/Man song was hilarious. I guess you saw the movie. Did you like it? Thank you so much for your kindness.

    Diane B: Thank you. It IS easier to think of it as a break rather than a good-bye forever. We'll see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  10. GinaFebruary 5, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    I'll miss reading your daily updates. But I'm glad we'll stay in touch in other ways xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dina Roberts February 5, 2012 at 11:03 PM

    Gina,

    Cool : )

    ReplyDelete
  12. Michael FueryFebruary 13, 2012 at 2:14 AM

    Hey there, Dina, you never know: a break might be good for you - it's very 'Buddhist', if I may say! Nothing is forever, as was demonstrated to me by a visiting group of Buddhist monks who spent two painstaking weeks constructing a stunning sand mandela, only to sweep it up and pour it into the Murray River. Time away will no doubt give your readers an opportunity to support you by becoming your correspondents. Hang in there and enjoy a well-deserved break. You are inspirational through your writing and shown many Aussies what it means to have a sense of national pride. Take care :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dina Roberts February 13, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    Mike,

    That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

    I REALLY appreciate it.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Red Nomad OZFebruary 16, 2012 at 3:57 AM

    Of course I respect your decision, but I do hope it doesn't mean you're going to stop READING about Australia??

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dina Roberts February 16, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    Red Nomad Oz;

    For as long as I continue to be obsessed with Australia, I will continue to read about Australia.

    ReplyDelete