1. Had Australia dreams with a lot of drama.
In one part, we have two days left in Australia. I try to decide if I want to call our friends to see if they want to get together. For some reason, I decide not to. I'm thinking I want to spend our last day in Bondi—maybe doing the Bondi to Bronte walk.
The other dream was either connected to this one or a whole other story.
Tim has been hanging out with some girl. I resent their closeness—the amount of time they're spending together and the way they act towards me. I get angry when I find out they have plans to do the bridge climb together the next time we're in Australia. They've already picked a date. What bothers me most is that they had the nerve to decide, without me, when we'll be returning to Australia. But then they give me the date. It's May 22. I had wanted to return in May, anyway, so it's not as bad as I thought.
Still, I'm angry. I bitch the two of them out about their relationship. I pretty much say that the reason they like each other is they like getting attention from each other, and that's it.
2. Figured I had the above dream because of the episode of Packed to the Rafters I watched this week—the one where Nathan (Angus McLaren) goes to a party with his parents and wife; then spends the whole time being chatted up by some other woman.
It reminded me of experiences I've had with Tim. Tim has always been one of those people who has female friends and sees no problem with it. What I might see as flirting, he sees as completely innocent and kosher. He also has no complaints about me having male friends...even the rare times I've blurted out a confession about having a crush.
3. Wondered why I had May 22 in my head.
4. Felt confused about marriage. On one hand, I think monogamy is overrated, and I support the idea of open marriages, swingers, orgies, utilizing sex-workers, etc. On the other hand, I feel uptight about married people having close friendships with people outside the marriage. I also think there's a difference between casual friendliness and the type of intense friendliness that resembles flirting.
It could be that emotional/friendship intimacy is much more precious to me than sexual intimacy. The idea of my partner having sex with another person bothers me much less than imagining them having fun together on the Bridge Climb.
I wouldn't say no to the Bridge Climb, but I'd probably feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing—much less so if I'm also friends with the person, and I haven't seen a lot of flirtatious behavior.
In my dream, the girl very much had the attitude of, I adore your husband, but I can't stand you. And Tim had the attitude, I enjoy being with this girl, and we both don't care that it bothers you. So yeah...that got on my nerves.
5. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.
6. Thought about how, in the past, Josh (Harley Bonner) was totally open-minded about his girlfriend Amber (Jenna Rosenow) hanging out with her male-pal Daniel (Tim Phillips).
Amber ended up falling in love with her so-called male-pal and Josh was left out in the cold.
The thing is, you can give your partner your complete trust and full freedom, but that doesn't guarantee they're not going to fall in love with someone else. You may FEEL it's all going to be okay, but that doesn't mean it's going to truly be okay.
7. Disagreed with Josh. He suggests that Amber get a 3D ultrasound, because they're cool. I think they make the baby look very creepy.
8. Saw that Amber might have preeclampsia.
I had that.
I don't know if I had symptoms like she's having—blurred vision and headaches. All I remember is that a few days before I was diagnosed, I had a nosebleed. I remember being very tired at a store and wanting to go home, but Tim was still shopping.
I'm not sure if nosebleeds and tiredness are symptoms.
9. Found this website that suggests nosebleeds can be due to preeclampsia; but also...it might have just been a coincidence.
I don't actually remember the nosebleed—how severe it was and when it happened. Did it happen at the store? When I got home? Did it happen at all? A part of me is doubting it. I don't really remember the nosebleed. What I remember is remembering the nosebleed. For all I know, maybe it was a dream; and I'm mixing it up with reality.
10. Figured tiredness is just a usual symptom of normal pregnancy.
11. Felt slightly nostalgic when reading expat Nikki's discovery of the American tradition of Adult-swim time at community swimming pools.
This is the time where children are asked to exit the pool for a short period of time.
Nikki says, We learnt quite quickly that small people must vacate the pool for ten minutes while the life guard tests the pool water, does a bit of vacuuming or uses the bathroom. At the end of this ten minutes – the whistle blows again – beep – kids swim time.
She also says, The reactions when I mentioned this foreign (to me) concept on facebook could be considered country and culturally appropriate. All the US citizens had grown up with it and found it situation normal but remembered not liking it as kids, or their own kids not liking it....
I imagine my friends and I were somewhat annoyed, especially if we were very busy playing. But I think for the most part, we used it as a time to go to the snack bar and buy Now and Laters, Rainbow snow-cones, and pizza.
12. Figured adult swim might be also beneficial for making sure all children have exited the pool, and none are at the bottom.
13. Thought about Disney World. They don't have adult-swim; and I don't think other resorts do either. It might be something that happens only in community pools and not vacation ones.
14. Remembered that we went to the Jewish community pool with my sister a few years ago. I don't remember there being an adult swim. Maybe it happens in some places but not others?
15. Started watching an episode of Packed to the Rafters.
16. Liked how each episode of Packed to the Rafters is narrated by a different character.
The episode I'm watching today is narrated by Nathan's wife Sammy (Jessica McNamee).
17. Felt bad that I said, the other day, that Julie (Rebecca Gibney) annoys me by being too nice. Because now I'm really enjoying her niceness. She's so kind, gentle, and thoughtful. She's wonderful to her daughter, her daughter-in-law, her daughter-in-law's mother, and pretty much everyone else.
18. Wished more people in the world were like Julie Rafter.
19. Thought Rachel (Jessica Marais) was funny on Packed to the Rafters. She watches a game with her brother, his roommates, and her maybe-upcoming boyfriend. They all cheer for the Australian game. She cheers for the Kiwi one.
It kind of reminds me of when I wore an Australian flag t-shirt on the Fourth of July. For me, it was party about love and partly about being oppositional.
20. Felt stressed for Sammy. Her previously-wealthy mother is now homeless. In most cases, good daughters would have their homeless mothers move in with them. But Sammy doesn't have her own home. She and her husband live with her in-laws. It's a packed house—hence the name, Packed to the Rafters.
21. Thought about how we've had people live with us. But I'm much less welcoming than the Rafters.
Well, I'm warm and welcoming when the person first moves in. Then after awhile, when they seem to be taking advantage of us; I become much less welcoming.
Well, it's not just about taking advantage but also about being annoying.
Here's an example. We had someone stay with us a few years ago.
The guest spent a lot of time in our kitchen, using the kitchen table. Now it wasn't too horrible, because we don't really use our kitchen table. But still. I found it invasive and rude. He would sit there often, and I didn't want to see him that often. Also, he would leave all his stuff on the kitchen table. It was a constant mess.
I'm being picky, though, because we're slobs ourselves. It's not like we had this very neat and tidy house, and the kitchen table was the exception.
The thing is, we had a guest room for the guy. It has a queen size bed, a nice size closet, and a bathroom. Since we provided that to him, I felt he should stay in there more often and not be out in the kitchen so much. It's not like I'm saying he should stay hidden away ALL the time and never come out. I would have just preferred he come out a little less frequently.
22. Felt I might have been more tolerant of him being out in the kitchen so often if he wasn't the type of person to talk about himself excessively—usually in the form of bragging.
23. Wondered if I'm just the type of person who needs my space, and I'll end up being fed up with anyone who decides our house is a good free alternative to a hotel or paying rent.
24. Realized we more often have guests that want/need free housing than guests who are just there to visit us.
25. Thought appreciative thoughts about the last person who needed the use of our house. He was polite, quiet, not intrusive; and he got his problems sorted out quickly and left. He didn't linger.
26. Saw that I was wrong about Tim liking Rake. He attempted to watch the first episode today. I went in there to check on him, and saw that he was fast asleep.
Though sometimes he falls asleep during shows he likes.
27. Started to watch a Neighbours backstage video. This one is not behind the scenes of an episode. Instead it's behind the scenes of a promo shoot.
I think it's for a who-done-it storyline involving a hit and run incident. It connects to the backstage video I watched yesterday. Someone hit Robbo (Aaron Jakubenko). Now I'm curious who did it! And did Robbo survive?
28. Went to The Perfect Blend site, so I could find out who ran over poor Robbo.
29. Learned that Robbo was, at one time, romantically linked to Amber.
30. Saw that Robbo did a lot of criminal stuff. He made a lot of enemies.
31. Learned that Amber had sex with Robbo, so Josh wasn't her first.
32. Learned it was Hudson who ran over Robbo.
I don't even think Hudson was on the promo video as the potentially guilty one.
And I don't know who Hudson is.
33. Learned that Hudson was a swimmer. That's all I care to know for now.
34. Decided I wanted to also know about why he hit Robbo.
It was an accident...kind of. He was mad at Robbo and wanted to scare him. But he didn't mean to actually hit him.
Oops.
35. Wanted to say that I was very ignorant about Amber's sexual experiences. When she got pregnant, and they showed flashbacks of her having sex with Josh, I had wondered if that's when she lost her virginity.
She is only eighteen, and seems kind of wholesome to me. I guess I thought maybe she and Daniel were going to wait for their wedding night. Or maybe it's just that they never showed Amber and Daniel having their first time together? Did they ever have scenes that inferred they had sex?
Maybe they did, and I didn't notice.
36. Wondered if maybe soap operas make a big deal out of a character's first time having sex and the other times you just have to make an assumption.
37. Wondered if Brennan (Scott McGregor) ever had sex with Paige (Olympia Valance). Did they ever have a scene that hinted towards that?
I'm thinking that they have hinted towards Brennan having sex with Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly).
I don't think Naomi and Paul (Stefan Dennis) had sex. I think he was too sick from chemo.
38. Wondered if Naomi and Paul are getting back together.
I'm three months behind. Maybe they're already together.
I vaguely remember seeing something about Morgana O'Reilly leaving the show. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that was just a dream.
It would have been a bad dream.
39. Thought about how Amber and Daniel lived in a car together. Maybe I should have assumed they were having sex in the car...or the tent outside the car.
In one part, we have two days left in Australia. I try to decide if I want to call our friends to see if they want to get together. For some reason, I decide not to. I'm thinking I want to spend our last day in Bondi—maybe doing the Bondi to Bronte walk.
The other dream was either connected to this one or a whole other story.
Tim has been hanging out with some girl. I resent their closeness—the amount of time they're spending together and the way they act towards me. I get angry when I find out they have plans to do the bridge climb together the next time we're in Australia. They've already picked a date. What bothers me most is that they had the nerve to decide, without me, when we'll be returning to Australia. But then they give me the date. It's May 22. I had wanted to return in May, anyway, so it's not as bad as I thought.
Still, I'm angry. I bitch the two of them out about their relationship. I pretty much say that the reason they like each other is they like getting attention from each other, and that's it.
2. Figured I had the above dream because of the episode of Packed to the Rafters I watched this week—the one where Nathan (Angus McLaren) goes to a party with his parents and wife; then spends the whole time being chatted up by some other woman.
It reminded me of experiences I've had with Tim. Tim has always been one of those people who has female friends and sees no problem with it. What I might see as flirting, he sees as completely innocent and kosher. He also has no complaints about me having male friends...even the rare times I've blurted out a confession about having a crush.
3. Wondered why I had May 22 in my head.
4. Felt confused about marriage. On one hand, I think monogamy is overrated, and I support the idea of open marriages, swingers, orgies, utilizing sex-workers, etc. On the other hand, I feel uptight about married people having close friendships with people outside the marriage. I also think there's a difference between casual friendliness and the type of intense friendliness that resembles flirting.
It could be that emotional/friendship intimacy is much more precious to me than sexual intimacy. The idea of my partner having sex with another person bothers me much less than imagining them having fun together on the Bridge Climb.
I wouldn't say no to the Bridge Climb, but I'd probably feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing—much less so if I'm also friends with the person, and I haven't seen a lot of flirtatious behavior.
In my dream, the girl very much had the attitude of, I adore your husband, but I can't stand you. And Tim had the attitude, I enjoy being with this girl, and we both don't care that it bothers you. So yeah...that got on my nerves.
5. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.
6. Thought about how, in the past, Josh (Harley Bonner) was totally open-minded about his girlfriend Amber (Jenna Rosenow) hanging out with her male-pal Daniel (Tim Phillips).
Amber ended up falling in love with her so-called male-pal and Josh was left out in the cold.
The thing is, you can give your partner your complete trust and full freedom, but that doesn't guarantee they're not going to fall in love with someone else. You may FEEL it's all going to be okay, but that doesn't mean it's going to truly be okay.
7. Disagreed with Josh. He suggests that Amber get a 3D ultrasound, because they're cool. I think they make the baby look very creepy.
8. Saw that Amber might have preeclampsia.
I had that.
I don't know if I had symptoms like she's having—blurred vision and headaches. All I remember is that a few days before I was diagnosed, I had a nosebleed. I remember being very tired at a store and wanting to go home, but Tim was still shopping.
I'm not sure if nosebleeds and tiredness are symptoms.
9. Found this website that suggests nosebleeds can be due to preeclampsia; but also...it might have just been a coincidence.
I don't actually remember the nosebleed—how severe it was and when it happened. Did it happen at the store? When I got home? Did it happen at all? A part of me is doubting it. I don't really remember the nosebleed. What I remember is remembering the nosebleed. For all I know, maybe it was a dream; and I'm mixing it up with reality.
10. Figured tiredness is just a usual symptom of normal pregnancy.
11. Felt slightly nostalgic when reading expat Nikki's discovery of the American tradition of Adult-swim time at community swimming pools.
This is the time where children are asked to exit the pool for a short period of time.
Nikki says, We learnt quite quickly that small people must vacate the pool for ten minutes while the life guard tests the pool water, does a bit of vacuuming or uses the bathroom. At the end of this ten minutes – the whistle blows again – beep – kids swim time.
She also says, The reactions when I mentioned this foreign (to me) concept on facebook could be considered country and culturally appropriate. All the US citizens had grown up with it and found it situation normal but remembered not liking it as kids, or their own kids not liking it....
I imagine my friends and I were somewhat annoyed, especially if we were very busy playing. But I think for the most part, we used it as a time to go to the snack bar and buy Now and Laters, Rainbow snow-cones, and pizza.
12. Figured adult swim might be also beneficial for making sure all children have exited the pool, and none are at the bottom.
13. Thought about Disney World. They don't have adult-swim; and I don't think other resorts do either. It might be something that happens only in community pools and not vacation ones.
14. Remembered that we went to the Jewish community pool with my sister a few years ago. I don't remember there being an adult swim. Maybe it happens in some places but not others?
15. Started watching an episode of Packed to the Rafters.
16. Liked how each episode of Packed to the Rafters is narrated by a different character.
The episode I'm watching today is narrated by Nathan's wife Sammy (Jessica McNamee).
17. Felt bad that I said, the other day, that Julie (Rebecca Gibney) annoys me by being too nice. Because now I'm really enjoying her niceness. She's so kind, gentle, and thoughtful. She's wonderful to her daughter, her daughter-in-law, her daughter-in-law's mother, and pretty much everyone else.
18. Wished more people in the world were like Julie Rafter.
19. Thought Rachel (Jessica Marais) was funny on Packed to the Rafters. She watches a game with her brother, his roommates, and her maybe-upcoming boyfriend. They all cheer for the Australian game. She cheers for the Kiwi one.
It kind of reminds me of when I wore an Australian flag t-shirt on the Fourth of July. For me, it was party about love and partly about being oppositional.
20. Felt stressed for Sammy. Her previously-wealthy mother is now homeless. In most cases, good daughters would have their homeless mothers move in with them. But Sammy doesn't have her own home. She and her husband live with her in-laws. It's a packed house—hence the name, Packed to the Rafters.
21. Thought about how we've had people live with us. But I'm much less welcoming than the Rafters.
Well, I'm warm and welcoming when the person first moves in. Then after awhile, when they seem to be taking advantage of us; I become much less welcoming.
Well, it's not just about taking advantage but also about being annoying.
Here's an example. We had someone stay with us a few years ago.
The guest spent a lot of time in our kitchen, using the kitchen table. Now it wasn't too horrible, because we don't really use our kitchen table. But still. I found it invasive and rude. He would sit there often, and I didn't want to see him that often. Also, he would leave all his stuff on the kitchen table. It was a constant mess.
I'm being picky, though, because we're slobs ourselves. It's not like we had this very neat and tidy house, and the kitchen table was the exception.
The thing is, we had a guest room for the guy. It has a queen size bed, a nice size closet, and a bathroom. Since we provided that to him, I felt he should stay in there more often and not be out in the kitchen so much. It's not like I'm saying he should stay hidden away ALL the time and never come out. I would have just preferred he come out a little less frequently.
22. Felt I might have been more tolerant of him being out in the kitchen so often if he wasn't the type of person to talk about himself excessively—usually in the form of bragging.
23. Wondered if I'm just the type of person who needs my space, and I'll end up being fed up with anyone who decides our house is a good free alternative to a hotel or paying rent.
24. Realized we more often have guests that want/need free housing than guests who are just there to visit us.
25. Thought appreciative thoughts about the last person who needed the use of our house. He was polite, quiet, not intrusive; and he got his problems sorted out quickly and left. He didn't linger.
26. Saw that I was wrong about Tim liking Rake. He attempted to watch the first episode today. I went in there to check on him, and saw that he was fast asleep.
Though sometimes he falls asleep during shows he likes.
27. Started to watch a Neighbours backstage video. This one is not behind the scenes of an episode. Instead it's behind the scenes of a promo shoot.
I think it's for a who-done-it storyline involving a hit and run incident. It connects to the backstage video I watched yesterday. Someone hit Robbo (Aaron Jakubenko). Now I'm curious who did it! And did Robbo survive?
28. Went to The Perfect Blend site, so I could find out who ran over poor Robbo.
29. Learned that Robbo was, at one time, romantically linked to Amber.
30. Saw that Robbo did a lot of criminal stuff. He made a lot of enemies.
31. Learned that Amber had sex with Robbo, so Josh wasn't her first.
32. Learned it was Hudson who ran over Robbo.
I don't even think Hudson was on the promo video as the potentially guilty one.
And I don't know who Hudson is.
33. Learned that Hudson was a swimmer. That's all I care to know for now.
34. Decided I wanted to also know about why he hit Robbo.
It was an accident...kind of. He was mad at Robbo and wanted to scare him. But he didn't mean to actually hit him.
Oops.
35. Wanted to say that I was very ignorant about Amber's sexual experiences. When she got pregnant, and they showed flashbacks of her having sex with Josh, I had wondered if that's when she lost her virginity.
She is only eighteen, and seems kind of wholesome to me. I guess I thought maybe she and Daniel were going to wait for their wedding night. Or maybe it's just that they never showed Amber and Daniel having their first time together? Did they ever have scenes that inferred they had sex?
Maybe they did, and I didn't notice.
36. Wondered if maybe soap operas make a big deal out of a character's first time having sex and the other times you just have to make an assumption.
37. Wondered if Brennan (Scott McGregor) ever had sex with Paige (Olympia Valance). Did they ever have a scene that hinted towards that?
I'm thinking that they have hinted towards Brennan having sex with Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly).
I don't think Naomi and Paul (Stefan Dennis) had sex. I think he was too sick from chemo.
38. Wondered if Naomi and Paul are getting back together.
I'm three months behind. Maybe they're already together.
I vaguely remember seeing something about Morgana O'Reilly leaving the show. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that was just a dream.
It would have been a bad dream.
39. Thought about how Amber and Daniel lived in a car together. Maybe I should have assumed they were having sex in the car...or the tent outside the car.