1. Dreamed that, we're at some public transportation place. I talk to Tim about Neighbours. A woman overhears us, and tells us she works for the show. I'm excited to hear this and ask what she does. She works with the food. I get the idea that she helps with catering.
I also dreamed something about holding Stefan Dennis's hands. I don't understand it, though, because we weren't in the same place. Maybe it was some kind of virtual thing. I don't know.
2. Remembered that Julian McMahon was on Another World. Because I forgot.
I was thinking about how I have recurring dreams about a Days of our Lives actor, a Home and Away actor, and a Neighbours actor. I didn't have one for Another World. But then I remembered that Julian McMahon was on Another World, so he can count for that.
I don't think I've had recurring dreams about any Coronation Street actor yet.
3. Looked at my book pricing information on Amazon, because in comments, Andrew mentioned that Australians have to pay more for e-books.
I was thinking it was just about the dollar differences. Now that I think of it, that wouldn't make sense. If it was about dollar differences, the book should be cheaper in Australia.
So...for The Dead are Online, the American price is $2.99. The Australian price is $3.99. Amazon won't let me set it any lower than that.
What the hell?
4. Saw that it's different for Thirty Cats. That novel is cheaper—only ninety cents. I had checked the option to base the Australian price on the American price, which was $1.06. HOWEVER, they allowed me to change it to 99 cents.
5. Realized I may have it all mixed up. If the Australian dollar is lower, than Australians would have to pay more for the dollar amount to equal what an American would pay.
Right?
Or wrong?
I get so confused.
6. Looked at a dollar converter.
$3.99 in Australian dollars is now equal to $2.92 in US dollars.
If an Australian buys my Thirty Cats for .99 cents, Amazon is getting only .72 cents from the sale. I get an estimated royalty of .35 cents, but is that .35 cents in Australian dollars or American dollars?
7. Figured that when the Australian dollar was higher than the US one, then Kindle books in Australia should have been cheaper than the US.
Was that the case? Or not?
8. Thought about how I often have so much in my head that I'd like to say. But often I don't say it to people, because they're not interested; they don't care; they'll say something hurtful and dismissive; they won't believe me, they'll ignore me; they'll interrupt me; they don't like when the conversation is not about themselves; etc.
Sometimes I'll go through stages of being brave, and I'll open up more to people in my life. There will be some successes with that, some struggles, and some bad experiences. After too many bad experiences, I close myself off again.
Anyway, I was thinking how I like talking to my blog. I don't tell it everything, but I tell it more stuff than I tell the people in my life. But I was thinking that it's not readers I'm talking to. I don't depend on them for being my listeners and support. I don't imagine people reading and caring. I used to, but I gave up on that.
It's literally my blog I like talking to.
Maybe my blog is my second best friend.
My first best friend is myself, because I tell myself even more stuff than I tell my blog. Myself knows most of my secrets and is a great listener. She judges sometimes but is open-minded, interested, and not dismissive.
9. Reminded myself to not forget the successes I've had with people (besides myself) One of my sisters was a fabulous listener the other day. I was grateful and very impressed. It's rare that I have helpful and positive conversations like that.
10. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.
11. Decided that maybe fictional characters are my third best friend.
No, they don't listen to my problems. They don't even know I exist. But when I watch them having similar problems to ones I have/had, I feel like they understand. I feel like we're on the same wave-length.
Now if I have someone who emails me all about their life and problems—and it's a one-sided conversation, I don't feel the same kind of positive feelings. Because they ARE real people, and they know I exist. Yet they act like they're the only ones in the conversation that matter. Then I lack respect for them and don't really want them as a friend.
12. Heard shocking revelation about Paige (Olympia Valance) from her other mother (Gina Liano).
Her mother knew Paige was a stolen child.
This whole thing is reminding me of that TV movie, The Face on the Milk Carton.
13. Saw Paige get mad at her mom again. It's because she feels that instead of being there for Paige, she'd give Paige expensive gifts.
I think it's sad when parents feel that's what parenting is about.
I think most people would rather have parents that know and care about what's going on in their lives.
Or maybe not.
Maybe there are people out there with financially-challenged and/or stingy parents who never give generous material gifts. Instead maybe these parents show a lot of interest in their child's life. They know the bad things that are in the child's life and they know about the good things. They're there for emotional support. Maybe some of the kids of these parents are thinking, I wish they'd back off and just send me a check once in awhile.
14. Thought that Lauren (Kate Kendall) made a mistake when talking to Paige about Paige's other mother. Paige asks Lauren, her biological mother, why she asked her adoptive mother to stay in Erinsborough. Lauren replies, she's your mother.
Paige says, Uh...No, you're my mother.
Lauren doesn't respond to that.
I think she should have said something like. Yes, I'm your mother, and I always will be. But Mary is your mother as well. We both love you in our own way.
By not saying anything, Paige might get the idea that Lauren has asked Mary to stay, because she wants to drop her role as mother and let Mary take over.
I think Paige probably has abandonment issues. She needs reassurance that this isn't going to happen.
15. Saw Amber (Jenna Rosenow) break up with Daniel (Tim Phillips)
I didn't expect it to happen so fast.
I'm glad that it did.
I'm sad for Daniel, of course. But now he can get together with Imogen.
16. Remembered my idea of Daniel getting together with Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou). When I was thinking of that grand plan, I had forgotten that Terese's own daughter is in love with Daniel.
If Daniel and Terese got together, it would be a huge mess.
17. Wondered who Terese could be matched up with.
Maybe someone new.
Or maybe she's the kind of person who's better off on her own.
Yeah, I think she'd be happier if she was single.
18. Wondered if Terese would work well with a younger man that's not the one her daughter loves. I think she needs someone she can kind of guide...parent. She does this to Brad, but he's resistant. She needs someone less resistant—someone who actually wants her there for guidance.
Or I could totally be wrong.
All I know for sure is that I don't like her with Brad (Kip Gamblin). He doesn't love her enough. His heart is elsewhere.
19. Tried to imagine Terese with various people on the show—male, female, taken, not taken, etc.
I can kind of picture her working out well with Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly). They're similar. Too similar? I don't really think so. I think their similarities would be a strength in the relationship.
I think they'd have very passionate sex and very passionate arguments.
20. Started watching an episode of Packed to the Rafters.
21. Heard Julie's (Rebecca Gibney) voiceover about babies having so many needs; and because of that, other people who need Julie might be sidelined.
All of Julie's children are adults. Yes, they need their mother but hopefully not as much as a young child.
It makes me wonder how parents manage to juggle having a baby and young children all at the same time.
I imagine it's hard at times—for the parents and the children.
22. Realized that Cabo's (George Houvardas) young stalker is Brenna Harding from Puberty Blues.
I thought she looked mildly familar yesterday, but I couldn't place her. And I forgot to look it up.
23. Saw an ignorant comment from an American on Hulu. Bob Shedd says, OMG! This episode was filmed in 2010 and Ms. Rafter is hanging clothes outside on a clothes line? I haven't seen anyone do that in decades! Ye gawdz!
Never mind that it's better for the environment.
I wish I was good and used the dryer less.
I hang up some clothes outside sometimes but just on the pool fence.
24. Liked that Packed to the Rafters is giving a somewhat realistic view of parenting an infant.
The new baby is shown as an entity that has taken over Julie's life. Julie can hardly find time to take a shower. This is in contrast to TV shows that make the new baby look like an accessory with aunts and friends super eager to babysit.
25. Thought it was very sweet that adult Rachel (Jessica Marais) is a little jealous of her mother's new baby Ruby. Or at least Rachel is comparing her babyhood to Ruby's.
As an adult, I didn't have a baby to be jealous of. What I have compared is how my parents treat my older sister and me as new mothers and how they treat my younger sister and her children. They've been much more helpful and hands on with her kids. They've been more patient. They've had less expectations for her to keep things clean and tidy.
With us, there was an attitude of, everyone needs to watch their own children, and you're in charge of dealing with your children's' messes.. With my sister, there's an attitude of, We're here to help you! And your older sisters will pitch in as well.
Sometimes I think it's because they like my younger sister more She's always been the treasured apple of our mother's eye. Other times, I think it's more about the fact that they've evolved. They've become much better grandparents. They've had practice. We were like the guinea pigs, and my sister reaps the rewards.
26. Felt Chel (Gillian Jones) did the right thing in refusing to let her grandson Nathan (Angus McLaren) test to be her kidney donor.
I guess I agree with her mindset. Nathan's very young and healthy. He shouldn't have to spend his lifetime with only one kidney. She's an elderly woman, and she is HIV positive. Even with a new kidney, she's probably not going to be in good health for awhile.
Still, I think it was brave and nice of him to offer.
And I think she was brave and nice to refuse.
27. Thought the storyline with Cabo's stalker was unnerving.
What happened is he was having very flirtatious exchanges with a girl on the Internet. I'm not sure it was X-rated,but probably R-rated. Then she comes to visit him, and Cabo sees that she's about thirteen years old.
Cabo is horrified. He tries to get rid of the girl but then she goes into stalker mode.
It reminded me of a news story Jack told me about recently. A man had sex with a too-young teen who lied about her age. The parents of the girl say the man is not to blame, yet the judge has still found him guilty.
28. Found the story.
A nineteen year old man found a girl on an Internet dating site. She said she was seventeen and she was really fourteen. He's now on a sex offenders list for twenty-five years. He can't use a smart phone. He can't go on the web for the next five years.
I think the worse thing is being lumped with horrible predators who purposely hunt for children and teenagers.
29. Thought about how we worry about adults pretending to be children on the Internet. We probably also need to beware of children pretending to be adults.
Maybe the lesson in all this is....
Well, the lesson for people in Cabo's situation is not to have romantic or sexual relationships online with someone you've not met before. Or at least make sure to talk to them on video chat.
As for the nineteen year old in the news story. I don't know.
Maybe when teens get to the consensual age they should carry some kind of card that proves their age...if they don't already have a driver's license.
30. Realized that was dumb. They'd just get fake ID's if they wanted it.
31. Decided people should just stop having sex with each other.
No. Really. I don't know.
I feel horrible for women who are victims of real rapists and molesters.
I also feel horrible for decent people who commit a crime, because they were given the wrong information.
Maybe teens who lie about their age should be prosecuted? Although that might make things worse because then the teens who lie about their age might lie about lying.
32. Wondered about girls who pretend they're older. Do most of them do it because they're lonely and want attention from an older man? Are they simply curious about sex?
Do any of them do it simply for the thrill of getting someone in trouble?
33. Played Scattergories with my family. We had the letter I, and one of the categories was villain/monster. The name Ian Rain came to my head. I quickly remembered that was Julian McMahon's character on Another World. Nice that I thought of that; except I was pretty sure Ian Rain wasn't a villain or monster. The problem was, I couldn't get the name out of my head.
Finally, I managed to replace it with Ivan the Terrible.
34. Disagreed with Sammy (Jessica McNamee). She wants to divorce Nathan and tells him that they brought out the worse in each other.
I much preferred the Sammy that was married to Nathan.
The new Sammy kind of seems cold.
It's not that I'm against her divorcing Nathan. That's fine. She has every right to move away and on. I just thought she was nicer when she was living with the Rafters.
35. Felt bad for Rachel. She asks Dave out for a father-daughter date. He politely declines, saying that the weekends are his time to spend quality time with baby Ruby.
To be fair, he does invite her to spend the night at home with him, Ruby, and Julie. Still, I imagine the rejection is hard for her.
36. Felt very sad for Nathan. Sammy doesn't want to get back together with him. But she does want to visit the Rafters and meet the new baby.
It's not that I blame her, really. It's actually lovely that she continues to have a place in her heart for her almost-ex-in-laws. But Nathan still loves her, and she doesn't want him back. It's kind of depressing watching her reunite with the in-laws with Nathan sadly watching.
37. Wanted to hug Nathan. I feel so sad for him.
On the last season, I didn't like him.
Maybe I agree half-way with Sammy. I don't think being together brought out the worst in Sammy, but I do think it brought out the worst in Nathan. Or maybe it's more that the break-up has brought out the best in Nathan.
38. Felt even worse, because Nathan started sobbing. Poor guy.
I was dying to hug him which is kind of impossible. But it's okay. His brother gave him a nice hug.
39. Finished the episode. It's made me very emotional—the father and daughter stuff; the marriage break-up, the kidney issue....
It all got to me.
40. Felt a lot of love for Packed to the Rafters.
41. Had a change of heart about the kidney issue.
It's almost like Nathan NEEDS to do this for his mental health.
He needs a purpose in life. He needs to feel needed.
He needs to not lose his grandmother...at least not too soon.
I also dreamed something about holding Stefan Dennis's hands. I don't understand it, though, because we weren't in the same place. Maybe it was some kind of virtual thing. I don't know.
2. Remembered that Julian McMahon was on Another World. Because I forgot.
I was thinking about how I have recurring dreams about a Days of our Lives actor, a Home and Away actor, and a Neighbours actor. I didn't have one for Another World. But then I remembered that Julian McMahon was on Another World, so he can count for that.
I don't think I've had recurring dreams about any Coronation Street actor yet.
3. Looked at my book pricing information on Amazon, because in comments, Andrew mentioned that Australians have to pay more for e-books.
I was thinking it was just about the dollar differences. Now that I think of it, that wouldn't make sense. If it was about dollar differences, the book should be cheaper in Australia.
So...for The Dead are Online, the American price is $2.99. The Australian price is $3.99. Amazon won't let me set it any lower than that.
What the hell?
4. Saw that it's different for Thirty Cats. That novel is cheaper—only ninety cents. I had checked the option to base the Australian price on the American price, which was $1.06. HOWEVER, they allowed me to change it to 99 cents.
5. Realized I may have it all mixed up. If the Australian dollar is lower, than Australians would have to pay more for the dollar amount to equal what an American would pay.
Right?
Or wrong?
I get so confused.
6. Looked at a dollar converter.
$3.99 in Australian dollars is now equal to $2.92 in US dollars.
If an Australian buys my Thirty Cats for .99 cents, Amazon is getting only .72 cents from the sale. I get an estimated royalty of .35 cents, but is that .35 cents in Australian dollars or American dollars?
7. Figured that when the Australian dollar was higher than the US one, then Kindle books in Australia should have been cheaper than the US.
Was that the case? Or not?
8. Thought about how I often have so much in my head that I'd like to say. But often I don't say it to people, because they're not interested; they don't care; they'll say something hurtful and dismissive; they won't believe me, they'll ignore me; they'll interrupt me; they don't like when the conversation is not about themselves; etc.
Sometimes I'll go through stages of being brave, and I'll open up more to people in my life. There will be some successes with that, some struggles, and some bad experiences. After too many bad experiences, I close myself off again.
Anyway, I was thinking how I like talking to my blog. I don't tell it everything, but I tell it more stuff than I tell the people in my life. But I was thinking that it's not readers I'm talking to. I don't depend on them for being my listeners and support. I don't imagine people reading and caring. I used to, but I gave up on that.
It's literally my blog I like talking to.
Maybe my blog is my second best friend.
My first best friend is myself, because I tell myself even more stuff than I tell my blog. Myself knows most of my secrets and is a great listener. She judges sometimes but is open-minded, interested, and not dismissive.
9. Reminded myself to not forget the successes I've had with people (besides myself) One of my sisters was a fabulous listener the other day. I was grateful and very impressed. It's rare that I have helpful and positive conversations like that.
10. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.
11. Decided that maybe fictional characters are my third best friend.
No, they don't listen to my problems. They don't even know I exist. But when I watch them having similar problems to ones I have/had, I feel like they understand. I feel like we're on the same wave-length.
Now if I have someone who emails me all about their life and problems—and it's a one-sided conversation, I don't feel the same kind of positive feelings. Because they ARE real people, and they know I exist. Yet they act like they're the only ones in the conversation that matter. Then I lack respect for them and don't really want them as a friend.
12. Heard shocking revelation about Paige (Olympia Valance) from her other mother (Gina Liano).
Her mother knew Paige was a stolen child.
This whole thing is reminding me of that TV movie, The Face on the Milk Carton.
13. Saw Paige get mad at her mom again. It's because she feels that instead of being there for Paige, she'd give Paige expensive gifts.
I think it's sad when parents feel that's what parenting is about.
I think most people would rather have parents that know and care about what's going on in their lives.
Or maybe not.
Maybe there are people out there with financially-challenged and/or stingy parents who never give generous material gifts. Instead maybe these parents show a lot of interest in their child's life. They know the bad things that are in the child's life and they know about the good things. They're there for emotional support. Maybe some of the kids of these parents are thinking, I wish they'd back off and just send me a check once in awhile.
14. Thought that Lauren (Kate Kendall) made a mistake when talking to Paige about Paige's other mother. Paige asks Lauren, her biological mother, why she asked her adoptive mother to stay in Erinsborough. Lauren replies, she's your mother.
Paige says, Uh...No, you're my mother.
Lauren doesn't respond to that.
I think she should have said something like. Yes, I'm your mother, and I always will be. But Mary is your mother as well. We both love you in our own way.
By not saying anything, Paige might get the idea that Lauren has asked Mary to stay, because she wants to drop her role as mother and let Mary take over.
I think Paige probably has abandonment issues. She needs reassurance that this isn't going to happen.
15. Saw Amber (Jenna Rosenow) break up with Daniel (Tim Phillips)
I didn't expect it to happen so fast.
I'm glad that it did.
I'm sad for Daniel, of course. But now he can get together with Imogen.
16. Remembered my idea of Daniel getting together with Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou). When I was thinking of that grand plan, I had forgotten that Terese's own daughter is in love with Daniel.
If Daniel and Terese got together, it would be a huge mess.
17. Wondered who Terese could be matched up with.
Maybe someone new.
Or maybe she's the kind of person who's better off on her own.
Yeah, I think she'd be happier if she was single.
18. Wondered if Terese would work well with a younger man that's not the one her daughter loves. I think she needs someone she can kind of guide...parent. She does this to Brad, but he's resistant. She needs someone less resistant—someone who actually wants her there for guidance.
Or I could totally be wrong.
All I know for sure is that I don't like her with Brad (Kip Gamblin). He doesn't love her enough. His heart is elsewhere.
19. Tried to imagine Terese with various people on the show—male, female, taken, not taken, etc.
I can kind of picture her working out well with Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly). They're similar. Too similar? I don't really think so. I think their similarities would be a strength in the relationship.
I think they'd have very passionate sex and very passionate arguments.
20. Started watching an episode of Packed to the Rafters.
21. Heard Julie's (Rebecca Gibney) voiceover about babies having so many needs; and because of that, other people who need Julie might be sidelined.
All of Julie's children are adults. Yes, they need their mother but hopefully not as much as a young child.
It makes me wonder how parents manage to juggle having a baby and young children all at the same time.
I imagine it's hard at times—for the parents and the children.
22. Realized that Cabo's (George Houvardas) young stalker is Brenna Harding from Puberty Blues.
I thought she looked mildly familar yesterday, but I couldn't place her. And I forgot to look it up.
23. Saw an ignorant comment from an American on Hulu. Bob Shedd says, OMG! This episode was filmed in 2010 and Ms. Rafter is hanging clothes outside on a clothes line? I haven't seen anyone do that in decades! Ye gawdz!
Never mind that it's better for the environment.
I wish I was good and used the dryer less.
I hang up some clothes outside sometimes but just on the pool fence.
24. Liked that Packed to the Rafters is giving a somewhat realistic view of parenting an infant.
The new baby is shown as an entity that has taken over Julie's life. Julie can hardly find time to take a shower. This is in contrast to TV shows that make the new baby look like an accessory with aunts and friends super eager to babysit.
25. Thought it was very sweet that adult Rachel (Jessica Marais) is a little jealous of her mother's new baby Ruby. Or at least Rachel is comparing her babyhood to Ruby's.
As an adult, I didn't have a baby to be jealous of. What I have compared is how my parents treat my older sister and me as new mothers and how they treat my younger sister and her children. They've been much more helpful and hands on with her kids. They've been more patient. They've had less expectations for her to keep things clean and tidy.
With us, there was an attitude of, everyone needs to watch their own children, and you're in charge of dealing with your children's' messes.. With my sister, there's an attitude of, We're here to help you! And your older sisters will pitch in as well.
Sometimes I think it's because they like my younger sister more She's always been the treasured apple of our mother's eye. Other times, I think it's more about the fact that they've evolved. They've become much better grandparents. They've had practice. We were like the guinea pigs, and my sister reaps the rewards.
26. Felt Chel (Gillian Jones) did the right thing in refusing to let her grandson Nathan (Angus McLaren) test to be her kidney donor.
I guess I agree with her mindset. Nathan's very young and healthy. He shouldn't have to spend his lifetime with only one kidney. She's an elderly woman, and she is HIV positive. Even with a new kidney, she's probably not going to be in good health for awhile.
Still, I think it was brave and nice of him to offer.
And I think she was brave and nice to refuse.
27. Thought the storyline with Cabo's stalker was unnerving.
What happened is he was having very flirtatious exchanges with a girl on the Internet. I'm not sure it was X-rated,but probably R-rated. Then she comes to visit him, and Cabo sees that she's about thirteen years old.
Cabo is horrified. He tries to get rid of the girl but then she goes into stalker mode.
It reminded me of a news story Jack told me about recently. A man had sex with a too-young teen who lied about her age. The parents of the girl say the man is not to blame, yet the judge has still found him guilty.
28. Found the story.
A nineteen year old man found a girl on an Internet dating site. She said she was seventeen and she was really fourteen. He's now on a sex offenders list for twenty-five years. He can't use a smart phone. He can't go on the web for the next five years.
I think the worse thing is being lumped with horrible predators who purposely hunt for children and teenagers.
29. Thought about how we worry about adults pretending to be children on the Internet. We probably also need to beware of children pretending to be adults.
Maybe the lesson in all this is....
Well, the lesson for people in Cabo's situation is not to have romantic or sexual relationships online with someone you've not met before. Or at least make sure to talk to them on video chat.
As for the nineteen year old in the news story. I don't know.
Maybe when teens get to the consensual age they should carry some kind of card that proves their age...if they don't already have a driver's license.
30. Realized that was dumb. They'd just get fake ID's if they wanted it.
31. Decided people should just stop having sex with each other.
No. Really. I don't know.
I feel horrible for women who are victims of real rapists and molesters.
I also feel horrible for decent people who commit a crime, because they were given the wrong information.
Maybe teens who lie about their age should be prosecuted? Although that might make things worse because then the teens who lie about their age might lie about lying.
32. Wondered about girls who pretend they're older. Do most of them do it because they're lonely and want attention from an older man? Are they simply curious about sex?
Do any of them do it simply for the thrill of getting someone in trouble?
33. Played Scattergories with my family. We had the letter I, and one of the categories was villain/monster. The name Ian Rain came to my head. I quickly remembered that was Julian McMahon's character on Another World. Nice that I thought of that; except I was pretty sure Ian Rain wasn't a villain or monster. The problem was, I couldn't get the name out of my head.
Finally, I managed to replace it with Ivan the Terrible.
34. Disagreed with Sammy (Jessica McNamee). She wants to divorce Nathan and tells him that they brought out the worse in each other.
I much preferred the Sammy that was married to Nathan.
The new Sammy kind of seems cold.
It's not that I'm against her divorcing Nathan. That's fine. She has every right to move away and on. I just thought she was nicer when she was living with the Rafters.
35. Felt bad for Rachel. She asks Dave out for a father-daughter date. He politely declines, saying that the weekends are his time to spend quality time with baby Ruby.
To be fair, he does invite her to spend the night at home with him, Ruby, and Julie. Still, I imagine the rejection is hard for her.
36. Felt very sad for Nathan. Sammy doesn't want to get back together with him. But she does want to visit the Rafters and meet the new baby.
It's not that I blame her, really. It's actually lovely that she continues to have a place in her heart for her almost-ex-in-laws. But Nathan still loves her, and she doesn't want him back. It's kind of depressing watching her reunite with the in-laws with Nathan sadly watching.
37. Wanted to hug Nathan. I feel so sad for him.
On the last season, I didn't like him.
Maybe I agree half-way with Sammy. I don't think being together brought out the worst in Sammy, but I do think it brought out the worst in Nathan. Or maybe it's more that the break-up has brought out the best in Nathan.
38. Felt even worse, because Nathan started sobbing. Poor guy.
I was dying to hug him which is kind of impossible. But it's okay. His brother gave him a nice hug.
39. Finished the episode. It's made me very emotional—the father and daughter stuff; the marriage break-up, the kidney issue....
It all got to me.
40. Felt a lot of love for Packed to the Rafters.
41. Had a change of heart about the kidney issue.
It's almost like Nathan NEEDS to do this for his mental health.
He needs a purpose in life. He needs to feel needed.
He needs to not lose his grandmother...at least not too soon.