1. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.
2. Learned that Kyle's (Nick Westaway) public proposal wasn't something he planned. He got swept up in the spur of the moment.
I can't fault him much on that.
3. Felt that Phoebe (Giovinazzo) was a bit annoying in this episode—kind of overdramatic about Kyle proposing to her.
That being said, I can picture myself acting that way. I mean I think I HAVE acted that way before...but not with a public proposal.
Someone does something. They either are trying to be nice or at least they're not trying to be mean. My answer is no, or I don't want or like what they've given me. Instead of just giving them a polite and easy rejection, I get mad at them. I then get upset at myself for being hurtful, and that makes things even worse.
4. Decided to come up with a fictional example.
Let's say, one day, someone asks me to go to lunch. I could just say, No, thanks I'm busy today. How about another day? But I get annoyed they even ask, because they should know I'm busy on Wednesdays. So, my answer is tense, and I whine a lot. I'm also kind of bitchy. Then I feel bad for being bitchy, and I get stressed out. My self-esteem plummets.
5. Realized I don't know if that's what happened to Phoebe. All I do know is she didn't like that Kyle proposed to her. But I don't know if her anger and rejection towards him made her feel guilty. Maybe she's just upset with Kyle and not also upset with herself.
6. Wanted to clarify that I probably wouldn't go major drama queen if an innocent/ignorant person asked me out when I was busy.
What I was picturing was a case where I've vented to someone about how I'm so stressed about this upcoming Wednesday. I've talked on and on about it. Then Wednesday comes along and they say, Hey! A new Chinese restaurant opened up. Do you want to go for lunch today?
That would annoy the hell out of me. Though if they apologized for forgetting, I might not go into full drama queen mode.
If they got defensive and argued with me, that would be another story.
But even if they're nice about it, I'd still probably get stressed and upset. I'd feel guilty for not having good time management skills, and I'd feel guilty for saying no to the lunch.
So, now I'm thinking...maybe Phoebe was extra upset, because she sort of feels guilty about saying no to marriage. She speaks out strongly against it, but maybe there's a part of her that feels conflicted.
7. Had a feeling I'm reading too much into the episode. Or really, I'm putting too much of myself into Phoebe.
She might be very different than me. She might not feel conflicted or guilty at all. She might not have any anger directed at herself. It might be all directed at Kyle.
8. Started watching Adore.
The scenery is pretty in the movie.
9. Thought the cemetery overlooking the ocean was very beautiful.
10. Saw that Gary Sweet, from House Husbands, is in the movie.
Actually, I can see from IMDb, that there's a lot of names in the cast I recognize—Naomi Watts, Robin Wright, Xavier Samuel, Jessica Tovey, Sophie Lowe, and Ben Mendelsohn.
The thing with Sweet is, I hadn't noticed his name in the credits, so seeing him on the screen was a fun surprise.
11. Thought that, in this movie, Naomi Watts looks a little bit like Susie Porter.
12. Thought the plot of the movie was kind of funny.
There are two very attractive female best friends. They both have sons who grow up to look like underwear models. Then, from what I read about the film, they end up having an affairs with each other's teenage sons.
I don't know.
I think the film would be less silly if the sons didn't look the way they did—if they were more average.
But why?
13. Thought about how I don't personally know any young men who look like the men in the film. So, I guess it's hard for me to relate to it.
14. Saw that the guys look more normal when they have their shirts on.
15. Realized what I'm saying is bullshit. Home and Away is full of people that don't look like the people I know in real life, and I can still relate to people on that show.
TV is FULL of people who are more attractive than myself and the people I know in real life.
16. Realized that Robin Wright is doing an Australian accent in this movie.
Is she British or American? I'm pretty sure she's not Australian.
17. Consulted Lord Wiki.
Robin Wright is American. She was actually born in Dallas, which is very near to where I live.
18. Thought it was fun seeing things reversed—an American doing an Australian accent in an Australian movie rather than the typical thing of the Australian actor doing an American accent in an American movie.
The only other American actor I've seen do an Australian accent for an Aussie movie is Liev Schrieber in Mental. Though I'm guessing there's been others.
19. Remembered Meryl Streep.
But was that an Australian or American movie?
20. Consulted Lord Wiki.
A Cry in the Dark/Evil Angels was an Australian movie.
21. Checked to see where Adore is filmed.
It's Sydney, Seal Rocks, and Shelly Beach.
I think Shelly Beach and Seal Rocks are south of Sydney, but I'm not positive.
22. Checked Google Maps, and saw I'm wrong.
Shelly Beach is part of the Central Coast; then Seal Rocks is about two hours north of Shelly Beach.
23. Wondered if the teenage boys in this movie are of legal age.
The movie still could be a shocking story of forbidden love if they are. Roz (Robin Wright) is a married woman who's slept with her best friend's son (Xavier Samuel). She's known him since he was a baby. This guy also appears to be the best friend of her OWN son.
Even if the affair is legal, it's a very sticky situation.
24. Finished watching the movie for today.
I'll watch more tomorrow.
So far, I don't mind it.
At the very least, the scenery is beautiful.
The only negative, for me, is some of the dialogue. Well, and the acting seems forced at times.
Since I know Naomi Watts and Robin Wright are good actors, I'll probably blame the awkward dialogue on the writer and director.
25. Saw that the writer and director of Adore is a woman named Anne Fontaine. She's probably not Australian. She's from Luxembourg.
Well, she was born there, and I don't get any indication that she's moved to Australia.
26. Learned from Lord Wiki that Fontaine lives and works in France.
27. Went to the Tropfest website.
Tonight I'm going to watch a 2010 finalist film called "Every Second Weekend".
I'm guessing, from the title, that it's about custody issues.
28. Started watching the film.
29. Thought that the film might be a documentary.
It probably is. It looks like one. But I can't tell for sure.
30. Finished watching the film.
It was nonfiction as far as I could tell.
The film consists of men, at a support group, talking about their sorrows.
31. Went to the link mentioned at the end of the film. It's for an organization called Dads in Distress.
Dads in Distress is an organization aimed at men...I guess specifically fathers. They deal with suicide prevention, and other intense issues.
32. Liked what Dads in Distress talk about on their philosophy page. There's an attitude of take responsibility, don't blame others, don't villainize the child's mother, try to maintain a relationship with the child, be hopeful, and look to the future.
They say, Our meetings are not pity parties. Yes, we visit our pain but we don’t live there. We move through our grief and get focused on the future.
In the film, though, it seemed very much like a pity party. There's a lot of sorrow, resentment, and anger. Then finally at the end, a man (maybe the organizer) says stuff that's more in line with the philosophy on the website. It's like the group forgot that they're not supposed to be having a pity party, so the guy, at the end, quickly reminded them.
33. Did some director Googling.
One of the film's directors is Ton Nicholls. He writes for ABC.
The other director is Scott Holgate. He's a cinematographer.
34. Wanted to interrupt this subject to say that lately I've had Sally Seltmann's "Heart that's Pounding" in my head a lot.
It started on Sunday. My heart was beating fast from exercising. I thought of pounding heart, and that led to me having the song in my mind. I then listened to it, which I haven't done in awhile. It was funny, because the meaning of the song fit super well with the TV show we had just finished watching—Master of None. In the episode, we watched, this couple realized that they might not love each other enough to keep together.
These lines below fit especially well with the episode.
What's the use of loving
If you're not loving like
You think you're gonna die
If you don't see a loved one
35. Wished I could contact the producers of Master of None—tell them to re-edit the episode and put in the song.
Although maybe it would fit too well—like it would be way too obvious.
36. Needed to mention another song that I think would fit so well in a TV show. And this wouldn't be overly obvious.
After we finished watching Fear the Walking Dead, I heard a song from Youth Group called "The Destruction of Laurel Canyon" Laurel Canyon is in Los Angeles, and Fear the Walking Dead is about the destruction of L.A.
It would fit really well.
37. Decided to get back to the directors of "Every Second Weekend".
38. Saw that Tony Nicholls last article on the ABC website is from December 2014.
Is he not writing for the ABC anymore?
If not, I wonder what he's up to.
39. Found something more recent about Nicholls.
He's the founder of an organization called Good Talent Media Training.
40. Looked at the media training workshop. It doesn't seem to be only for people who want to have jobs in the media. It seems also (or mostly?) to be for anyone who has to deal with the media.
The workshop helps people with interviewing skills. For example, one of the things they teach is how to steer interviews back to your media message. That's like if you want to talk about your new fashion line, and the interviewer keeps asking about the lawsuit filed against you five years ago.
41. Went back to Scott Holgates' website.
I'm going to watch his cinematography reel.
42. Finished watching.
The scenes were intriguing.
43. Watched a public service announcement that Holgate worked on.
It has something to do with social media.
I don't get it.
It might be about keeping your password secret?
44. Watched another one of the public service announcements. It stars the same guy as the last one.
This one was for missing people and was advising teenagers to let their parents know where they are.
I didn't like it too much. In a way, it was too silly for a scary/serious subject matter.
Or really, it's probably more a matter that the humor didn't work on me. If someone takes a serious topic and manages to make it funny, that's cool. If someone takes a serious topic, tries to make a joke, and the joke doesn't work for me; then I see it in a negative way.
45. Liked that Holgate has movie reviews on his site.
They're very short.
I like short reviews.
Here's what he said for The Shining. I finally got around to watching it. Awesome setting and setup for a horror film. Some remarkable and enduring scenes for sure. I’ll never look at a kids tricycle the same. I enjoyed the dialogue scenes so much I wish there were more. At times I found the score distracting, not as scary as The Exorcist but still made the hairs on my neck stand up.
That review is actually much longer than most of his others.
Here's an example of one of his short reviews. It's for The Hundred Year Journey.
Overly sentimental and 20 minutes too long. The music cues over the shots of food stood out as being ridiculous at times. Enjoy the first half and the performances.
46. Wondered what Holgate meant with that last sentence. Did he mean to say he enjoyed the first half; or is he advising his readers to go and enjoy the first half?
47. Saw that Holgate also reviews TV shows.
For The Walking Dead he says, I was ready to pull the pin on this show after the 4th season. It is very inconsistent and at times painfully slow. The season final was pretty exciting though, I will watch the first ep of season 5 and reevaluate.
Yeah. I have mixed feelings about the show. I like it, but it's getting a bit old.
I get it. There are zombies and mean not-zombies. Anything else?
Usually not.
Well, there was that huge tub of chocolate pudding. That was kind of exciting.
Read my online novel: The Dead are Online
2. Learned that Kyle's (Nick Westaway) public proposal wasn't something he planned. He got swept up in the spur of the moment.
I can't fault him much on that.
3. Felt that Phoebe (Giovinazzo) was a bit annoying in this episode—kind of overdramatic about Kyle proposing to her.
That being said, I can picture myself acting that way. I mean I think I HAVE acted that way before...but not with a public proposal.
Someone does something. They either are trying to be nice or at least they're not trying to be mean. My answer is no, or I don't want or like what they've given me. Instead of just giving them a polite and easy rejection, I get mad at them. I then get upset at myself for being hurtful, and that makes things even worse.
4. Decided to come up with a fictional example.
Let's say, one day, someone asks me to go to lunch. I could just say, No, thanks I'm busy today. How about another day? But I get annoyed they even ask, because they should know I'm busy on Wednesdays. So, my answer is tense, and I whine a lot. I'm also kind of bitchy. Then I feel bad for being bitchy, and I get stressed out. My self-esteem plummets.
5. Realized I don't know if that's what happened to Phoebe. All I do know is she didn't like that Kyle proposed to her. But I don't know if her anger and rejection towards him made her feel guilty. Maybe she's just upset with Kyle and not also upset with herself.
6. Wanted to clarify that I probably wouldn't go major drama queen if an innocent/ignorant person asked me out when I was busy.
What I was picturing was a case where I've vented to someone about how I'm so stressed about this upcoming Wednesday. I've talked on and on about it. Then Wednesday comes along and they say, Hey! A new Chinese restaurant opened up. Do you want to go for lunch today?
That would annoy the hell out of me. Though if they apologized for forgetting, I might not go into full drama queen mode.
If they got defensive and argued with me, that would be another story.
But even if they're nice about it, I'd still probably get stressed and upset. I'd feel guilty for not having good time management skills, and I'd feel guilty for saying no to the lunch.
So, now I'm thinking...maybe Phoebe was extra upset, because she sort of feels guilty about saying no to marriage. She speaks out strongly against it, but maybe there's a part of her that feels conflicted.
7. Had a feeling I'm reading too much into the episode. Or really, I'm putting too much of myself into Phoebe.
She might be very different than me. She might not feel conflicted or guilty at all. She might not have any anger directed at herself. It might be all directed at Kyle.
8. Started watching Adore.
The scenery is pretty in the movie.
9. Thought the cemetery overlooking the ocean was very beautiful.
10. Saw that Gary Sweet, from House Husbands, is in the movie.
Actually, I can see from IMDb, that there's a lot of names in the cast I recognize—Naomi Watts, Robin Wright, Xavier Samuel, Jessica Tovey, Sophie Lowe, and Ben Mendelsohn.
The thing with Sweet is, I hadn't noticed his name in the credits, so seeing him on the screen was a fun surprise.
11. Thought that, in this movie, Naomi Watts looks a little bit like Susie Porter.
12. Thought the plot of the movie was kind of funny.
There are two very attractive female best friends. They both have sons who grow up to look like underwear models. Then, from what I read about the film, they end up having an affairs with each other's teenage sons.
I don't know.
I think the film would be less silly if the sons didn't look the way they did—if they were more average.
But why?
13. Thought about how I don't personally know any young men who look like the men in the film. So, I guess it's hard for me to relate to it.
14. Saw that the guys look more normal when they have their shirts on.
15. Realized what I'm saying is bullshit. Home and Away is full of people that don't look like the people I know in real life, and I can still relate to people on that show.
TV is FULL of people who are more attractive than myself and the people I know in real life.
16. Realized that Robin Wright is doing an Australian accent in this movie.
Is she British or American? I'm pretty sure she's not Australian.
17. Consulted Lord Wiki.
Robin Wright is American. She was actually born in Dallas, which is very near to where I live.
18. Thought it was fun seeing things reversed—an American doing an Australian accent in an Australian movie rather than the typical thing of the Australian actor doing an American accent in an American movie.
The only other American actor I've seen do an Australian accent for an Aussie movie is Liev Schrieber in Mental. Though I'm guessing there's been others.
19. Remembered Meryl Streep.
But was that an Australian or American movie?
20. Consulted Lord Wiki.
A Cry in the Dark/Evil Angels was an Australian movie.
21. Checked to see where Adore is filmed.
It's Sydney, Seal Rocks, and Shelly Beach.
I think Shelly Beach and Seal Rocks are south of Sydney, but I'm not positive.
22. Checked Google Maps, and saw I'm wrong.
Shelly Beach is part of the Central Coast; then Seal Rocks is about two hours north of Shelly Beach.
23. Wondered if the teenage boys in this movie are of legal age.
The movie still could be a shocking story of forbidden love if they are. Roz (Robin Wright) is a married woman who's slept with her best friend's son (Xavier Samuel). She's known him since he was a baby. This guy also appears to be the best friend of her OWN son.
Even if the affair is legal, it's a very sticky situation.
24. Finished watching the movie for today.
I'll watch more tomorrow.
So far, I don't mind it.
At the very least, the scenery is beautiful.
The only negative, for me, is some of the dialogue. Well, and the acting seems forced at times.
Since I know Naomi Watts and Robin Wright are good actors, I'll probably blame the awkward dialogue on the writer and director.
25. Saw that the writer and director of Adore is a woman named Anne Fontaine. She's probably not Australian. She's from Luxembourg.
Well, she was born there, and I don't get any indication that she's moved to Australia.
26. Learned from Lord Wiki that Fontaine lives and works in France.
27. Went to the Tropfest website.
Tonight I'm going to watch a 2010 finalist film called "Every Second Weekend".
I'm guessing, from the title, that it's about custody issues.
28. Started watching the film.
29. Thought that the film might be a documentary.
It probably is. It looks like one. But I can't tell for sure.
30. Finished watching the film.
It was nonfiction as far as I could tell.
The film consists of men, at a support group, talking about their sorrows.
31. Went to the link mentioned at the end of the film. It's for an organization called Dads in Distress.
Dads in Distress is an organization aimed at men...I guess specifically fathers. They deal with suicide prevention, and other intense issues.
32. Liked what Dads in Distress talk about on their philosophy page. There's an attitude of take responsibility, don't blame others, don't villainize the child's mother, try to maintain a relationship with the child, be hopeful, and look to the future.
They say, Our meetings are not pity parties. Yes, we visit our pain but we don’t live there. We move through our grief and get focused on the future.
In the film, though, it seemed very much like a pity party. There's a lot of sorrow, resentment, and anger. Then finally at the end, a man (maybe the organizer) says stuff that's more in line with the philosophy on the website. It's like the group forgot that they're not supposed to be having a pity party, so the guy, at the end, quickly reminded them.
33. Did some director Googling.
One of the film's directors is Ton Nicholls. He writes for ABC.
The other director is Scott Holgate. He's a cinematographer.
34. Wanted to interrupt this subject to say that lately I've had Sally Seltmann's "Heart that's Pounding" in my head a lot.
It started on Sunday. My heart was beating fast from exercising. I thought of pounding heart, and that led to me having the song in my mind. I then listened to it, which I haven't done in awhile. It was funny, because the meaning of the song fit super well with the TV show we had just finished watching—Master of None. In the episode, we watched, this couple realized that they might not love each other enough to keep together.
These lines below fit especially well with the episode.
What's the use of loving
If you're not loving like
You think you're gonna die
If you don't see a loved one
35. Wished I could contact the producers of Master of None—tell them to re-edit the episode and put in the song.
Although maybe it would fit too well—like it would be way too obvious.
36. Needed to mention another song that I think would fit so well in a TV show. And this wouldn't be overly obvious.
After we finished watching Fear the Walking Dead, I heard a song from Youth Group called "The Destruction of Laurel Canyon" Laurel Canyon is in Los Angeles, and Fear the Walking Dead is about the destruction of L.A.
It would fit really well.
37. Decided to get back to the directors of "Every Second Weekend".
38. Saw that Tony Nicholls last article on the ABC website is from December 2014.
Is he not writing for the ABC anymore?
If not, I wonder what he's up to.
39. Found something more recent about Nicholls.
He's the founder of an organization called Good Talent Media Training.
40. Looked at the media training workshop. It doesn't seem to be only for people who want to have jobs in the media. It seems also (or mostly?) to be for anyone who has to deal with the media.
The workshop helps people with interviewing skills. For example, one of the things they teach is how to steer interviews back to your media message. That's like if you want to talk about your new fashion line, and the interviewer keeps asking about the lawsuit filed against you five years ago.
41. Went back to Scott Holgates' website.
I'm going to watch his cinematography reel.
42. Finished watching.
The scenes were intriguing.
43. Watched a public service announcement that Holgate worked on.
It has something to do with social media.
I don't get it.
It might be about keeping your password secret?
44. Watched another one of the public service announcements. It stars the same guy as the last one.
This one was for missing people and was advising teenagers to let their parents know where they are.
I didn't like it too much. In a way, it was too silly for a scary/serious subject matter.
Or really, it's probably more a matter that the humor didn't work on me. If someone takes a serious topic and manages to make it funny, that's cool. If someone takes a serious topic, tries to make a joke, and the joke doesn't work for me; then I see it in a negative way.
45. Liked that Holgate has movie reviews on his site.
They're very short.
I like short reviews.
Here's what he said for The Shining. I finally got around to watching it. Awesome setting and setup for a horror film. Some remarkable and enduring scenes for sure. I’ll never look at a kids tricycle the same. I enjoyed the dialogue scenes so much I wish there were more. At times I found the score distracting, not as scary as The Exorcist but still made the hairs on my neck stand up.
That review is actually much longer than most of his others.
Here's an example of one of his short reviews. It's for The Hundred Year Journey.
Overly sentimental and 20 minutes too long. The music cues over the shots of food stood out as being ridiculous at times. Enjoy the first half and the performances.
46. Wondered what Holgate meant with that last sentence. Did he mean to say he enjoyed the first half; or is he advising his readers to go and enjoy the first half?
47. Saw that Holgate also reviews TV shows.
For The Walking Dead he says, I was ready to pull the pin on this show after the 4th season. It is very inconsistent and at times painfully slow. The season final was pretty exciting though, I will watch the first ep of season 5 and reevaluate.
Yeah. I have mixed feelings about the show. I like it, but it's getting a bit old.
I get it. There are zombies and mean not-zombies. Anything else?
Usually not.
Well, there was that huge tub of chocolate pudding. That was kind of exciting.
Read my online novel: The Dead are Online