1. Dreamed about going to Australia.
It's our last day in Australia. I'm feeling sad about that, which I find sort of funny, because we hadn't even planned on taking this trip.
The apartment we've been staying at is away from the place I like being, and we have no plans to go back. I don't feel right about asking Tim to take us there. But then I realize something. I can take the bus and go on my own.
I talk to Tim about what I'll need on the bus and figure I just need correct change.
I then go out to the bus stop. The bus arrives, and then I realize I don't have the correct change.
I think of going into the apartment to get it. Then I notice that the line I'm seeing is really two lines. Some people are trying to get on the bus, and others are in line, at a store, to get change. I figure I can go in that line and get change too. But then I realize the paper money I have in my pocket is American money. That's not going to do me much good.
I go into our apartment building. There's a problem, though. I don't remember which apartment is ours. I do have a feeling it's not on the first floor, so I climb the stairs to the second. I know which side our apartment is on, but I don't know which door is ours. I peer through windows a bit which is embarrassing, because there are other people around.
Later, there was a connected dream about Ita Buttrose. Instead of having a blog where I can write my feelings about her....I have some kind of small space on a board. There's someone next to me writing on a space next to mine. I think and talk about my feelings regarding Buttrose. I say she's a feminist but not one who uses offensive means to get her point across. I say she's provocative and then something else, but I can't think of the right word. Then I think of it. It's compassionate. I feel Buttrose is both provocative and compassionate. The person I'm talking to is quiet, almost like they don't agree. But it's hard for me to tell. I explain that these are just the feelings I got from the miniseries.
I move away from my writing board for awhile. When I return, I see the small space, I had left, has been taken over by someone who's written some kind of disclaimer about our trip. It's explaining why we didn't do something in Australia, (or why something wasn't done for us?). This information has been written before, and I erased it. Now I erase it again. I'm annoyed, because it's taken up my space, and I also feel the the information they posted doesn't need to be public knowledge.
2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.
3. Had conflicting thoughts about the Evie (Philippa Northeast) and Hannah (Cassie Howarth) stuff.
Evie insists that Hannah come clean about cheating on Andy (Tai Hara). She threatens Hannah. Either tell Andy, or she's going to do it for her.
There's a part of me that thinks this is none of Evie's business, and she should stay out of it.
But then another part of me thinks about the secret thing I wrote about in a recent post. Is it fair of Hannah to force Evie to keep such a big secret? Andy lives in the house with them and keeping such a secret is very stressful for Evie.
On the OTHER hand, Hannah didn't choose to tell Evie. Evie overheard the conversation. She was given the secret accidentally. I think that makes a big difference. It's not like Hannah is in an ongoing relationship with another man, throwing it in Evie's face, and then insisting that she not tell Andy.
4. Finished watching the episode.
5. Started to watch the last episode of Killing Time.
I've not gotten far...Internet problems again.
Or actually, it's a Hulu problem. The rest of my Internet is working okay.
6. Relieved to see it working.
I just had to reload.
7. Glad to see that Andrew managed to listen to his wife's break-up speech without responding in a melodramatic or manipulative way.
8. Saw that Andrew hasn't lost his manipulative ways.
He's trying to strike a deal where if he's released, he'll give homicide evidence against a prisoner.
That's understandable.
But then when Andrew talks to the detective, he talks about how the prisoners are going to kill him if they know he's been talking to the police. And yeah. That's true. But then he adds, My family needs me.
I'm sure his family would be sad if he died. But needing him? I don't think so. I think they've been relatively okay while he's in prison. Before prison, I don't think he was contributing much to the family. He was so often high on cocaine. I think he caused his family a lot of stress and unhappiness. Do they really need more of that?
9. Saw that Fraser is free from prison, but he's not completely free.
He has a lot of rules to follow. For example, no alcohol can be consumed by him, or anyone else, in his house.
Also, he has to get permission before having any overnight guests.
10. Saw that Andrew Fraser gets around the alcohol thing by bringing a bottle of wine to his ex's house.
He wants to celebrate. He says, I bloody well made it. He acts like he ran a cross country marathon, or something.
Poor Denise.She's been through so much with her husband's cocaine addiction.
Now Andrew pushes her to celebrate with the intake of yet another drug.
Yes, it's a legal drug. But still. I don't personally feel there's much of a difference.
11.Impressed with how Denise treats Andrew throughout the episode.
She's firm with him but also kind.
12. Started to watch a promotional video about Killing Time with the real Andrew Fraser.
So, he was involved with the series.
That tells me he's matured enough to realize his mistakes, because the series did put him in a negative light. He wasn't presented as a very sympathetic character.
13. Finished watching the video. It showcased the house where the Pettingill family lived.
14. Started to watch another promotional video. This one has David Wenham talking about Fraser.
Wenham says Fraser is very honest and fully supportive of the project.
I think that's very brave of him. It shows that he probably did have a major transformation and is no longer very manipulative and narcissistic.
15. Learned that Wenham didn't meet Fraser initially, because he worried getting close to him would affect his performance too much.
That makes sense to me.
16. Learned that Wenham and Glenn met the real Andrew and Denise about four weeks into filming.
17. Wondered if Andrew and Denise ever got back together.
18. Wenham talks about love and respect between Andrew and Denise, so if they didn't get back together, they at least remained friends.
19. Started to watch a third promotional video for Killing Time. This one is a short interview with Andrew Fraser.
20. Started to watch another interview with Wenham.
21. Learned that Wenham read Andrew Fraser's books...I guess before filming began.
I'm not sure when, really. But I like that he did research.
It's our last day in Australia. I'm feeling sad about that, which I find sort of funny, because we hadn't even planned on taking this trip.
The apartment we've been staying at is away from the place I like being, and we have no plans to go back. I don't feel right about asking Tim to take us there. But then I realize something. I can take the bus and go on my own.
I talk to Tim about what I'll need on the bus and figure I just need correct change.
I then go out to the bus stop. The bus arrives, and then I realize I don't have the correct change.
I think of going into the apartment to get it. Then I notice that the line I'm seeing is really two lines. Some people are trying to get on the bus, and others are in line, at a store, to get change. I figure I can go in that line and get change too. But then I realize the paper money I have in my pocket is American money. That's not going to do me much good.
I go into our apartment building. There's a problem, though. I don't remember which apartment is ours. I do have a feeling it's not on the first floor, so I climb the stairs to the second. I know which side our apartment is on, but I don't know which door is ours. I peer through windows a bit which is embarrassing, because there are other people around.
Later, there was a connected dream about Ita Buttrose. Instead of having a blog where I can write my feelings about her....I have some kind of small space on a board. There's someone next to me writing on a space next to mine. I think and talk about my feelings regarding Buttrose. I say she's a feminist but not one who uses offensive means to get her point across. I say she's provocative and then something else, but I can't think of the right word. Then I think of it. It's compassionate. I feel Buttrose is both provocative and compassionate. The person I'm talking to is quiet, almost like they don't agree. But it's hard for me to tell. I explain that these are just the feelings I got from the miniseries.
I move away from my writing board for awhile. When I return, I see the small space, I had left, has been taken over by someone who's written some kind of disclaimer about our trip. It's explaining why we didn't do something in Australia, (or why something wasn't done for us?). This information has been written before, and I erased it. Now I erase it again. I'm annoyed, because it's taken up my space, and I also feel the the information they posted doesn't need to be public knowledge.
2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.
3. Had conflicting thoughts about the Evie (Philippa Northeast) and Hannah (Cassie Howarth) stuff.
Evie insists that Hannah come clean about cheating on Andy (Tai Hara). She threatens Hannah. Either tell Andy, or she's going to do it for her.
There's a part of me that thinks this is none of Evie's business, and she should stay out of it.
But then another part of me thinks about the secret thing I wrote about in a recent post. Is it fair of Hannah to force Evie to keep such a big secret? Andy lives in the house with them and keeping such a secret is very stressful for Evie.
On the OTHER hand, Hannah didn't choose to tell Evie. Evie overheard the conversation. She was given the secret accidentally. I think that makes a big difference. It's not like Hannah is in an ongoing relationship with another man, throwing it in Evie's face, and then insisting that she not tell Andy.
4. Finished watching the episode.
5. Started to watch the last episode of Killing Time.
I've not gotten far...Internet problems again.
Or actually, it's a Hulu problem. The rest of my Internet is working okay.
6. Relieved to see it working.
I just had to reload.
7. Glad to see that Andrew managed to listen to his wife's break-up speech without responding in a melodramatic or manipulative way.
8. Saw that Andrew hasn't lost his manipulative ways.
He's trying to strike a deal where if he's released, he'll give homicide evidence against a prisoner.
That's understandable.
But then when Andrew talks to the detective, he talks about how the prisoners are going to kill him if they know he's been talking to the police. And yeah. That's true. But then he adds, My family needs me.
I'm sure his family would be sad if he died. But needing him? I don't think so. I think they've been relatively okay while he's in prison. Before prison, I don't think he was contributing much to the family. He was so often high on cocaine. I think he caused his family a lot of stress and unhappiness. Do they really need more of that?
9. Saw that Fraser is free from prison, but he's not completely free.
He has a lot of rules to follow. For example, no alcohol can be consumed by him, or anyone else, in his house.
Also, he has to get permission before having any overnight guests.
10. Saw that Andrew Fraser gets around the alcohol thing by bringing a bottle of wine to his ex's house.
He wants to celebrate. He says, I bloody well made it. He acts like he ran a cross country marathon, or something.
Poor Denise.She's been through so much with her husband's cocaine addiction.
Now Andrew pushes her to celebrate with the intake of yet another drug.
Yes, it's a legal drug. But still. I don't personally feel there's much of a difference.
11.Impressed with how Denise treats Andrew throughout the episode.
She's firm with him but also kind.
12. Started to watch a promotional video about Killing Time with the real Andrew Fraser.
So, he was involved with the series.
That tells me he's matured enough to realize his mistakes, because the series did put him in a negative light. He wasn't presented as a very sympathetic character.
13. Finished watching the video. It showcased the house where the Pettingill family lived.
14. Started to watch another promotional video. This one has David Wenham talking about Fraser.
Wenham says Fraser is very honest and fully supportive of the project.
I think that's very brave of him. It shows that he probably did have a major transformation and is no longer very manipulative and narcissistic.
15. Learned that Wenham didn't meet Fraser initially, because he worried getting close to him would affect his performance too much.
That makes sense to me.
16. Learned that Wenham and Glenn met the real Andrew and Denise about four weeks into filming.
17. Wondered if Andrew and Denise ever got back together.
18. Wenham talks about love and respect between Andrew and Denise, so if they didn't get back together, they at least remained friends.
19. Started to watch a third promotional video for Killing Time. This one is a short interview with Andrew Fraser.
20. Started to watch another interview with Wenham.
21. Learned that Wenham read Andrew Fraser's books...I guess before filming began.
I'm not sure when, really. But I like that he did research.
What would our world be like if we
knew for sure there
was life after death, and
we could easily talk to our
dearly-departed on the Internet?
The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts
22. Went to Random.org to pick my next thing to watch.
It's Kill Me Three Times, starring Simon Pegg.
Pegg is British. But I guess the movie has some kind of Australia connection, because besides Doctor Who, everything on my list is Australian in some way.
23. Went to Kill Me Three Times on IMDb.
It's listed as being from the U.S and Australia. It was filmed in Perth and in other areas of Western Australia.
24. Saw that Kriv Stenders, the director of the movie, also directed the movie Red Dog.
And there's a Red Dog prequel in the works.
25. Searched for Red Dog on Netflix, and ended up with Clifford the big red dog.
26. Examined the cast list of Kill Me Three Times to find the Australians that are familiar to me.
There's Teresa Palmer, Sullivan Stapleton, Luke Hemsworth, Callan Mulvey, Bryan Brown, and...
No, Daniel Webber. I'm kind of disappointed about that.
Now I'm hoping to see Daniel Webber everywhere.
Although I probably want to see Webber specifically as Oswald. I think I'm in love with that particular performance.
I didn't have much Webber love when I saw him on Home and Away and Sleeping Beauty.
27. Felt sort of excited about seeing Kill Me Three Times despite the lack of Daniel Webber.
I like the other actors.
I loved Simon Pegg in the zombie movie.
That was him, right?
And what was the name of that movie? My mind has gone blank. Well, not my whole mind but the part that holds the name of the zombie movie.
28. Looked at Simon Pegg's filmography.
The movie is Sean of the Dead.
29. Saw that Simon Pegg is going to star with Ben Mendelsohn in Ready Player One.
I think Mendelsohn might become a big star in our family, because he's in that movie AND he's going to be in the next Star Wars movie. Tim and Jack are really into Star Wars, and Jack and I both loved the Ready Player One book.
30. Looked at the plot of Kill Me Three Times.
Like Fargo, it involves a hit man.
We're on the third episode of Fargo. I had doubts about liking it when we watched the first and second episode. I'm not a big fan of hitman stories, and I don't usually like crime-comedy.
The show is growing on me, though.
I do have some doubts about liking Kill Me Three Times.
If I'm understanding things right, the protagonist is a hitman. I like sympathetic protagonists, and I'm not sure I'll be able to see a hitman as sympathetic.
Well...I guess it's possible.
I liked Webber's Oswald, and he was an assassin.
31. Thought about Fargo.
I don't like the hitman in that, but my dislike might be less about him murdering people and more about him being a prick about it.
There's another guy in Fargo that has killed two people, and he's a sympathetic character.
32. Wanted to say that I don't actually condone murder. It's not something I support. I think it's a very shitty thing.
HOWEVER, I think decent people can be driven to murder.
33. Remembered that having sympathy for characters is a subjective thing. I might have sympathy for a homicidal character that someone else doesn't have any sympathy for. Then they might have sympathy for a character that I don't have sympathy for.
I don't have sympathy for the hitman on Fargo, because I think he's an ass and totally up himself. Someone else might like or relate to someone with that kind of attitude. They might see him as a sympathetic character.
34. Thought maybe characters can be divided into three groups a) sympathetic b) pathetic c) downright hateful.
For me, Webber's Oswald was sympathetic. His Home and Away stalker character was pathetic.
I think for hateful, I'd probably put Dolores Umbridge on the top of the list. Although even with her, there were times I felt bad for her. But still...she was pretty damn hateful.
35. Started to think the divisions probably won't work for me.
I'm so bad at making divisions that are cut and dry.
I thought of Voldemort. I think he's hateful, but at times I found him to be sympathetic.
36. Decided I'm going to change my categories to sympathetic and pathetic, and leave out hateful.
Also, I guess it would only apply to the villains.
I think all villains are hateful (to different degrees) but then some are pathetic and some are sympathetic.
37. Decided the divisions still don't work.
I'm thinking of Bates Motel. When he's not being a scary murderer, sometimes Norman is quite sympathetic, and other times he's really pathetic.
38. Thought that sometimes I'M a pathetic villain, one of my crime beings that I too often try to divide people and their behaviors into categories.
39. Thought about all this while making and eating dinner.
Instead of putting a stop to the categories in my head, I added some.
Now I have four ways of seeing a villain. A) Sympathetic B) Pathetic C) Admirable D) Despicable.
I think most villains are going to elicit all four of those feelings in us, but I think we each will have a primary feeling towards a character.
As for admirable, an example for me there would be Hannibal Lector. Yeah. He's a serial killer, and I'm not into that hobby. Nor am I into people who have that hobby. But I do admire Lector for his intelligence, humor, and charm...well, at least when he's portrayed by Anthony Hopkins.
40. Wondered how I will see Pegg's Hitman in Kill Me Twice. In order for me to like the movie, I think I'll have to see him as either sympathetic or admirable. I have doubts that I could like a movie with a despicable or very pathetic protagonist
41. Wanted to explain more about the difference between sympathetic, pathetic, and admirable.
Note: I'm doing this NOT to enlighten anyone with my bullshit but to try to get it straight in my own head.
So...
A sympathetic character is one we can relate to, and/or one we can imagine being friends with if it weren't for their crimes.
A pathetic character is the person we'd sit next to in the lunchroom, not because we like them, but no one else is sitting there, and we feel bad.
An admirable character is one we'd think is cool...if it weren't for their crime. They're the ones we fantasize about sitting with in the lunch room, but we wouldn't dare, because we're so beneath them.
Despicable? That's the person in the lunchroom to whom we want to say. Just go away. I hate you! And then we spit in their face.
42. Tried to figure out where I'd put Andrew Fraser from Killing Time...back before he had his transformation.
It definitely wouldn't be sympathetic or admirable.
That leaves me with pathetic and despicable.
I feel compelled to choose one or the other. But I can't.
I really feel a mixture of both. That shatters my theory of people being able to put a character into one main box.
I don't have a main box for Fraser.
43. Thought more about our maybe-Australia trip.
There are things that are making me want to say yes, and things that are making me want to drop the whole thing.
On the yes side: I am now remembering that, although I said the next time we'd go to Australia would be 2022, I did say that I'd go earlier if the dollar went down a lot. It definitely has!
I don't even think I considered there being plane tickets this cheap.
Also, Tim seems pleased with the idea. Though I got this from text, and it's easy to hide emotions on texts. In reality, he could be slapping his forehead with his palm and thinking, Really? Australia? Again?
I'm joking. That's probably not what happened. I think Tim would be excited to learn we might be going anywhere where the focus isn't a Disney park. Although...Tokyo Disney IS on his birthday trip agenda.
On the negative side: I can see it's going to be a struggle to decide where to go.
My first choice was Brisbane and maybe Melbourne. I kind of considered skipping Sydney all together.
Jack wants Sydney.That makes me feel kind of guilty, because I was the one who used to be so in love with Sydney.
I do still love Sydney, but I want to try something new. Or at least with Melbourne, I feel we've seen less of it. We've been there once, versus with Sydney, we've been there three times already.
Also, I'm pretty sure Tim wouldn't be happy to go all the way to Australia and just go to Sydney.
The good news is, from what I understood of the flight, you get one free stopover. So we might be able to do Sydney and Melbourne or Sydney and Brisbane.
What I fear though is we're going to start adding things on. Well, since we're there, we might as well go to Sydney, Melbourne, AND Brisbane. While we're at it, why not add Broome as well?
If we go to Australia this year, I want it to be cheap and simple. I don't want it expensive and elaborate. I'll save that trip for when I'm fifty.
43. Played around on Delta. It's around six hundred dollars to go to Sydney. When I tried to add Brisbane, the price jumped up a lot.
But maybe it's one of those deals where you have to call rather than rely on the website.
44. Played around more, and got sick of the whole thing.
I'm afraid it's going to be a crappy flight with a lack of decent entertainment, and no outlets for charging all our stuff.
I really hate flying.
45. Had more doubts.
The last time we went to Australia, the way back was so incredibly exhausting. I remember being so tired after taking the flight from Sydney to LAX, and hating the fact that we had to then take another flight to DFW.
If we do this Delta deal, we will have yet ANOTHER stop off. We'll have to go from Sydney to Los Angeles; then Los Angeles to San Francisco, and then San Francisco to DFW.
I think I'd rather wait the few years and take the Qantas flight straight from DFW to Sydney.
46. Thought the deal would be better if we lived in San Francisco.
47. Talked to Tim and told him I changed my mind about maybe going to Australia.
Here's the thing.
I might have six or more years ahead of me where I'm not in Australia.
That's sad.
However, some of my nights during those years will include lovely dreams about Australia. And most of the days will include Australian TV shows, movies, music, books, etc.
I'm content with that.