In a recent post I wrote about a manipulation technique in which the manipulator takes a small request or suggestion and blows it up into something crazy. This way they can feel like a victim and wallow in persecution fantasies.
I was involved with something like this on Twitter. The idea that one should not continue tickling a child who has asked for the tickling to stop turned into....you don't want us playing with our children!
When an adult tickles a child who has asked the adult to stop, they are teaching the child that adults can touch children even when the child doesn't want to be touched. Eventually that lesson can morph into, people can touch you if they want. Don't bother saying no. You'll be ignored.
Tickling is confusing, though, because people laugh when they're tickled.
BUT the laughing is usually an automatic response. It doesn't mean the tickling is enjoyable. It doesn't mean the victim is amused.
Some people do enjoy tickling, and that's fine. I think parents should definitely continue playing tickling games with those children. But to figure out if they have one of those children, they should go with what the child says and not whether the child laughs or not. I think they should also respect variances in desire and mood. Just because a child wants to be tickled on Monday, it doesn't mean you have a right to tickle her on Tuesday when she's crying for you to stop.
For those on Twitter who claimed I didn't want them playing with their children, I provided a list of alternate activities. And I'll also provide a list here.
A) tickle a child who likes tickling
B) tag
C) hide-and-seek
D) peek-a-boo
e) cupcake decorating
f) playdoh
g) horsey rides on your back
h) Candy Land and other board games
i) Card games
j) Video games
k) A walk together
l) Jumping on the bed
m) swimming
But no....
It seems, for some parents, none of the activities can match the pleasure of touching a child who doesn't want to be touched in that way. And all that's fine, you know, because hey, they're not touching the kids penis or vagina. So it's not abuse.
It might not be sexual abuse. It might not be physical abuse. But I do think it's emotional abuse.
Now sometimes there might be misunderstandings. A parent might think the game is fun, and then the child gets mad. You know...the adult picks up the child and hangs her upside down. The adult thinks they're both having a great time. Then when the child is right side up again, the adult sees the child is angrily crying. Mistakes like that happen. If it's not so often and the adult doesn't act like some kind of terrifying, angry predator, I wouldn't label it as abusive. OR let's say an adult has often tickled a child who has begged them to stop, BECAUSE they were ignorant about the whole thing. I can sort of understand that.
But for those who choose willful ignorance and insist it's their right to tickle THEIR child whenever they want.
Well....
FUCK THEM.
I may be letting my overactive imagination and stereotyping muscles go out of hand here, but I imagine these things about the people who insist they have a right to tickle their child whenever they want
A) This tickling is not the only form of emotional abuse that's happening in the family.
B) That people who insist they have a right to tickle THEIR child also believe they have a right to do what they damn well please with whatever gun they decide to buy.
C) Believe that "libtards" are destroying the world.
I was involved with something like this on Twitter. The idea that one should not continue tickling a child who has asked for the tickling to stop turned into....you don't want us playing with our children!
When an adult tickles a child who has asked the adult to stop, they are teaching the child that adults can touch children even when the child doesn't want to be touched. Eventually that lesson can morph into, people can touch you if they want. Don't bother saying no. You'll be ignored.
Tickling is confusing, though, because people laugh when they're tickled.
BUT the laughing is usually an automatic response. It doesn't mean the tickling is enjoyable. It doesn't mean the victim is amused.
Some people do enjoy tickling, and that's fine. I think parents should definitely continue playing tickling games with those children. But to figure out if they have one of those children, they should go with what the child says and not whether the child laughs or not. I think they should also respect variances in desire and mood. Just because a child wants to be tickled on Monday, it doesn't mean you have a right to tickle her on Tuesday when she's crying for you to stop.
For those on Twitter who claimed I didn't want them playing with their children, I provided a list of alternate activities. And I'll also provide a list here.
A) tickle a child who likes tickling
B) tag
C) hide-and-seek
D) peek-a-boo
e) cupcake decorating
f) playdoh
g) horsey rides on your back
h) Candy Land and other board games
i) Card games
j) Video games
k) A walk together
l) Jumping on the bed
m) swimming
But no....
It seems, for some parents, none of the activities can match the pleasure of touching a child who doesn't want to be touched in that way. And all that's fine, you know, because hey, they're not touching the kids penis or vagina. So it's not abuse.
It might not be sexual abuse. It might not be physical abuse. But I do think it's emotional abuse.
Now sometimes there might be misunderstandings. A parent might think the game is fun, and then the child gets mad. You know...the adult picks up the child and hangs her upside down. The adult thinks they're both having a great time. Then when the child is right side up again, the adult sees the child is angrily crying. Mistakes like that happen. If it's not so often and the adult doesn't act like some kind of terrifying, angry predator, I wouldn't label it as abusive. OR let's say an adult has often tickled a child who has begged them to stop, BECAUSE they were ignorant about the whole thing. I can sort of understand that.
But for those who choose willful ignorance and insist it's their right to tickle THEIR child whenever they want.
Well....
FUCK THEM.
I may be letting my overactive imagination and stereotyping muscles go out of hand here, but I imagine these things about the people who insist they have a right to tickle their child whenever they want
A) This tickling is not the only form of emotional abuse that's happening in the family.
B) That people who insist they have a right to tickle THEIR child also believe they have a right to do what they damn well please with whatever gun they decide to buy.
C) Believe that "libtards" are destroying the world.