I still don't know what's going on with my brain.
But I do have some sense of a...resolution.
This afternoon we met with Sai Duvvuri, the manager of DFW Neurology.
He was very nice.
He tried to explain what's happening with me medically, though couldn't tell me much, because he, admittedly, is not a doctor.
I have a form now with some information and some pictures from my EEG.
I don't think I have epilepsy.
But my brain waves are probably not exactly normal.
That's about all I can conclude from now.
Duvvuri apologized and more importantly...showed me that they were working hard to make changes based on my grievances. They've already hired more people so they're less understaffed, and they changed their website to make it easier for people to email.
So, that's awesome.
I am having mixed feelings.
There's one delusional, idealistic side of me that imagines Tim and I will end up being BFF's with DFW Neurology. We'll invite each other to our children's weddings and while dancing to YMCA, we'll pause from the confusing arm movements and say, Hey remember when I wrote those bad reviews of you guys on Google.
I don't think they've seen my blog.
I was wondering if I should delete my posts, but then I feel like I'm being silenced—by them and myself. And...there's a side of me that's still angry.
I'm angry because it came down to having to write a review on Google. I think the manager was nice to me BECAUSE I gave his office a bad review. And after writing the reviews, I got what I had wanted in the first place: a detailed EEG report (though not as detailed as I had originally wished), some snapshots-examples of my EEG, and apologies.
So what I would say to doctor's offices, restaurants, hotels, amusement parks, stores, schools, etc. if someone has a grievance, listen to them! If their grievance is valid, apologize and try to fix things as best as possible. Don't just imagine that they're going to disappear. Don't wait for a bad review to put on your niceness.
Anyway...in case anyone is interested in medical stuff, I'm going to write down the abnormal stuff on my EEG. And what I really mean by that is if a random neurologist happens to come across my blog, could you please tell me what's up with me? Except I don't want to open up comments or my email. So just think about it, and I'll try to use my magical brain spikes to read your thoughts.
Here we go:
AWAKE EEG-Well organized and sustained posterior rhythm is seen at 10-11 Hz during waking and resting recording. Attenuation is noted with eye opening. Background is seen without slowing, focal or generalized abnormalities. There were intermittent fast activity noted followed by spike wave on bilateral frontal and temporal regions. (especially F4 and T4) These are not followed by slow waves. This could be a seizure focus.
SLEEP-Well...I'll just say they say everything was normal. So I'm not having seizures in my sleep. I'm kind of disappointed in the normality. Actually very disappointed. I want them to say something like, There are very unusual brain waves during sleep...something we've never seen before.
I have such vivid, crazy dreams. I want my brain waves to show evidence of that!
Oh! You know what would have been cool. If my brain waves drew pictures on the EEG. Like all of a sudden the technician is reading all the little waves and lines; then suddenly a demon face appears. Pazuzu!
AUTOMATED SPIKE DETECTIONS -All automated spike detections were reviewed. Intermittent bilateral frontotemporal fast activity with spike waves. Spike did not correspond to the events noted on patient's diary.
I can't understand my EEG images, but I'm hoping one day I might have a bit of a clue. The past few weeks, I've been watching EEG instructional videos on YouTube. If I keep working on it, maybe one day I'll be self-educated enough to understand a little bit more about what's going on. Okay. I actually considered going to EEG school today, so I could read my own EEG. But then I decided, no. I don't want to have to glue things to other people's head. I'd likely mess up and ruin their hair for life.
Eventually I'll see another neurologist and get another MRI so I can make sure my brain atrophy hasn't gone from mild to major. And I'll see what they think of my EEG. But I'm not in the mood to do that now. I think I'd like to wait at least a year.
I might change my mind.
I really don't know.