The journal stuff continues.....
Note: The blue is what's printed in the book—the prompt. The green is what I filled in.
When I was a girl, my favorite activity was playing with my stuffed animals.
While we're on the subject....
I know some women hate the word "girl". They find it offensive.
I don't mind it.
I actually prefer being a girl over being called a woman. And when I first started this blog, the title was The Girl Who Wished She Was Australian.
I think it depends on how you look at the word.
If you see it as a counterpart to the word "boy", then I think it IS offensive. I mean if you're talking about an adult female-human. If you're talking about actual children, then no problem.
But I think you can also see girl as the counterpart of guys. Girls and Guys. I think those are just more casual and fun than men and women.
My best friends at the time were Laura S, Alissa, Elizabeth S.
What we liked best together-Choice with Elizabeth. She'd play what I want. Then I'd play what she'd want. I'd like to make new variations of stories such as Wizard of Oz or Pete's Dragon.
Basically, when it was my turn we'd play fan fiction and when it was Elizabeth's turn, we'd do reenactments of classic stories.
How I remember feeling about my friends-I liked them a lot. I think I felt angry at them sometimes.
Well, with that question I think I was pretty much phoning it in.
Who doesn't sometimes get angry at the friends they like a lot?
What I was best at—reading and being imaginative.
and worst at-Being brave. I was scared of everything.
I'm guessing when I filled in the journal I wasn't aware of the idea that bravery/courage is about facing fears rather than not having fears.
What made me feel confident-My friends when they were nice to me and when I felt like I was popular.
And now I've grown to understand that it's important to have confidence even when NOT in a state of popularity.
If you need constant validation from outsiders to feel okay about yourself, that can get dangerous. Because I think it's very rare for someone to have consistent fame, popularity, attention, love, etc.
And what made me feel awkward-When no one would talk to me.
Yeah. That's hard. I still feel it sometimes.
For example, there's that awful feeling when I think I've written something brilliant on Twitter, and NO ONE responds.
Or there are the times back when I had comments on my blog. I'd pour out my heart, and the response was silence.
It's hard to not lose major self-esteem points then.
I was brave enough when it came to-practically nothing if I am going to be honest.
Harsh!
Is it true?
I don't know.
I do know I was forced into situations that terrified me. I'm not sure if I did anything scary by choice.
but truly afraid of Bees, school, sleeping over friend's houses, heights.
I was going to argue about the height thing. I thought that came later. But I was maybe referring to playground equipment. I think, at times, I was scared of slides, monkey bars, etc.
Though I might have been scared of sleeping over friend's houses, I still did it sometimes. And I thought I enjoyed it somewhat?
Maybe not?
I feel like my present self is going to have an argument with my past self about my way-way past self.
Maybe I should let my past self win. Who is going to understand elementary-school-age-Dina more? Early-20's-Dina or mid-40's-Dina?
Early-20's-Dina is closer to the action (time wise). Then again, her memories might have been influenced by what her life was like when filling in the journal.
Maybe, at the time, I had a blow to my self-esteem and that was influencing the way I saw my younger self.
Note: The blue is what's printed in the book—the prompt. The green is what I filled in.
When I was a girl, my favorite activity was playing with my stuffed animals.
While we're on the subject....
I know some women hate the word "girl". They find it offensive.
I don't mind it.
I actually prefer being a girl over being called a woman. And when I first started this blog, the title was The Girl Who Wished She Was Australian.
I think it depends on how you look at the word.
If you see it as a counterpart to the word "boy", then I think it IS offensive. I mean if you're talking about an adult female-human. If you're talking about actual children, then no problem.
But I think you can also see girl as the counterpart of guys. Girls and Guys. I think those are just more casual and fun than men and women.
My best friends at the time were Laura S, Alissa, Elizabeth S.
What we liked best together-Choice with Elizabeth. She'd play what I want. Then I'd play what she'd want. I'd like to make new variations of stories such as Wizard of Oz or Pete's Dragon.
Basically, when it was my turn we'd play fan fiction and when it was Elizabeth's turn, we'd do reenactments of classic stories.
How I remember feeling about my friends-I liked them a lot. I think I felt angry at them sometimes.
Well, with that question I think I was pretty much phoning it in.
Who doesn't sometimes get angry at the friends they like a lot?
What I was best at—reading and being imaginative.
and worst at-Being brave. I was scared of everything.
I'm guessing when I filled in the journal I wasn't aware of the idea that bravery/courage is about facing fears rather than not having fears.
What made me feel confident-My friends when they were nice to me and when I felt like I was popular.
And now I've grown to understand that it's important to have confidence even when NOT in a state of popularity.
If you need constant validation from outsiders to feel okay about yourself, that can get dangerous. Because I think it's very rare for someone to have consistent fame, popularity, attention, love, etc.
And what made me feel awkward-When no one would talk to me.
Yeah. That's hard. I still feel it sometimes.
For example, there's that awful feeling when I think I've written something brilliant on Twitter, and NO ONE responds.
Or there are the times back when I had comments on my blog. I'd pour out my heart, and the response was silence.
It's hard to not lose major self-esteem points then.
I was brave enough when it came to-practically nothing if I am going to be honest.
Harsh!
Is it true?
I don't know.
I do know I was forced into situations that terrified me. I'm not sure if I did anything scary by choice.
but truly afraid of Bees, school, sleeping over friend's houses, heights.
I was going to argue about the height thing. I thought that came later. But I was maybe referring to playground equipment. I think, at times, I was scared of slides, monkey bars, etc.
Though I might have been scared of sleeping over friend's houses, I still did it sometimes. And I thought I enjoyed it somewhat?
Maybe not?
I feel like my present self is going to have an argument with my past self about my way-way past self.
Maybe I should let my past self win. Who is going to understand elementary-school-age-Dina more? Early-20's-Dina or mid-40's-Dina?
Early-20's-Dina is closer to the action (time wise). Then again, her memories might have been influenced by what her life was like when filling in the journal.
Maybe, at the time, I had a blow to my self-esteem and that was influencing the way I saw my younger self.