Dear People Who Say It's Ableist to Complain about Narcissists,
If you're going to speak out against people, like me, speaking out against narcissism. If you're going to say that's ableism and not fair to people suffering from their narcissism disorder....
Well, guess what then. I'll just say I suffer from narcissism-intolerance. So you are being ableist by not being sensitive to the fact that I've been hurt by narcissism and want to talk about all that shit.
Oh wait?
You're saying it's unethical to call someone a narcissist when we don't know their diagnosis?
No.
It's wrong for a person to diagnose someone with NPD (narcissism personality disorder) without a professional degree that allows them to do such things.
But there is narcissism that exists outside the DSM-5.
Narcissism is not just a mental disorder.
It's also a noun and an adjective.
It's a way that we can describe someone who has certain shitty toxic traits.
Do you know what else is in the DSM-5?
Pedophilic Disorder—The diagnosis for people who sexually desire children who have not yet entered puberty.
So, if a person is sexually abused as a child and calls out the abuser—calls the abuser a pedophile. Would you say that's ableist as well?
Would you insist that the pedophile gets the same type of compassion for their mental illness as someone who has depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, OCD, and borderline personality disorder?
Now look. If you want to have sympathy and compassion for people officially diagnosed with things like NPD or pedophilia OR people that fit the description of words like narcissist and pedophile.....
That's very big-hearted of you.
But if you have more sympathy towards them than the people they've hurt? If you call people ableist for wanting to talk about narcissistic warning signs? If you shit on people who speak out about Trump's narcissism because it reminds them of the toxicity they've had to deal with from partners, parents, bosses, etc?
Well....
Maybe one day the DSM committee will come up with a disorder to describe those who think and feel the way you do. And then it will become ableist of me to be angry and disgusted with your ignorance. But until then....
For more of my posts about narcissism, click here.
Read my novel: The Dead are Online
100%! Thank you! Fellow Survivor of narcissist abuse here and these people are so frustrating. And none of them are MHP, just layperson parroting something they likely saw in a meme somewhere.
ReplyDeleteSeriously! Thank you for your post!
Hi Oli,
DeleteThank you for reading! I'm glad to find someone who agrees and understands. Though I think SOME are MHP. Or I'm guessing some are. I think they becomes very defensive, because of the prejudices they've experienced. So then they lump everyone with mental health problems together. I think it's kind of like a misplaced/ignorant empathy.
But yeah. Memes. That's the first time I encountered it. It was on Instagram stories. I saw it and was like...What???? Uh...no.
You’re still talking about abuse in a way that frames a mental illness as a culprit. Just say abuse. .
ReplyDeleteYeah, this just reads as "I know exactly how shitty I'm being and I don't care. Ableism is fine in my eyes." Like seriously, being an abuse survivor doesn't give you a free pass to be harmful to others. And it's never just hurting the one person you're actually targeting when you use bigoted language.
DeleteYou’re still talking about abuse in a way that frames a mental illness as a culprit. Just say abuse. .
ReplyDeleteClassic narc darvo
Delete"Narcissism-intolerance" is not real while "narcissistic personality disorder" is real. And no, there is not a narcissism that exists outside of the DSM-5. Not anymore anyways. You cannot divorce the term "narcissist" from "narcissistic personality disorder," when you talk about one you talk abiut the other. And you know it. When you mention either term, the same image comes to your head: a mustache twirling villain that revels in the pain of others and needs to be stopped by the YA novel protagonist.
ReplyDeletePedophilia is a choice. It is a deliberate choice to abuse children. Narcissism is not a choice. It's a pattern of behavior. The fact that you're comparing narcissism to pedophilia says so much about your ableism towards people with NPD.