Putting Fences In Front of Caves

I had a shitload of anxiety last night.

I think most of it was due to a big (but normal) change in our lives. But I think playing Minecraft before bed made it a lot worse.

I've been thinking that the way I choose to play Minecraft is somehow symbolic of my mental state. 

With my current world, I've been building skyscrapers. THAT must mean something.

Some of my overlying anxiety has shown up in the form of putting torches everywhere.  I've been somewhat obsessed with making things light enough so that monsters don't spawn. This is in contrast to when I played a few years ago, and I was all about hunting monsters...so I could have enchantment points.

I have also felt a need to stay close to my budding city and not venture too far off.

BUT then I managed to craft some maps.  That was exciting. I started to feel more courageous.

I went on a little adventure. I found my way to a mountain biome. Then I put down a bed inside one of the mountains, so I wouldn't have to walk home at night.  

Oh! And I also made an extra map and put it in the chest next to the bed.  This way, if I died, I would have a new map ready upon respawning (along with a sword, food, other necessities) 

I went downward mining and found a cave.

Now usually when I find a cave when mining, I panic and immediately block it with dirt or cobblestone.  But I guess I was feeling brave that day. I crafted a door and put it in front of the entrance. I dropped a few things off in a chest; then entered the cave. 

With that excursion, I mostly just worked on putting torches everywhere that I could.  Hostile-mob birth control.  

The cave is huge, though. 

I ended up getting lost and dying. Well...because I stupidly forgot to carry enough wood with me.  So I ran out of both torches AND pick-axes. I couldn't craft more no matter how much cobblestone, iron, and coal I found.  Oops.

It wasn't a huge tragedy, though...because of my various (bed and map) precautions.

I later went back to the cave and did more mining.  I was very cautious and conservative....mining a few things at a time and putting it into the chest in the pre-cave area before seeking out new stuff.  

On Wednesday, I ended up getting lost in the cave again.  I gave up trying to find my oak door and instead decided to try and dig my way towards home.  (Maps are VERY helpful!) 

I can't remember things exactly.  But I did have some doubt that I'd survive.  I'm not sure why.  I must have been running low on something. Maybe food?

I ended up surviving, though and making it home.  I felt very triumphant and relieved.

I didn't play Thursday.

Last night I decided to play....just before bed.

I felt a little uneasy but ignored those feelings.

I had this idea, though that what I wanted to do is go back to the mountain, grab the treasures I left in the chest, come home, and then probably never ever go back to the cave.  

On my way back to my little city home, I ran into these very deep caverns. These caverns weren't new to me. They've bothered me since the first time we met.  I worry about falling into them, and I also worry about some of the multi-colored sheep falling to their death. Usually, I put aside my fears and head home. But last night, the caverns bothered me to the point of being intolerable.  I had the sudden compulsion to put fences around all the caverns and also in front of caves.  I started on that task; then went to bed and had all the anxiety.

Wait. I forgot.  At one point, I was putting a fence in front of a cave entrance, and a skeleton started shooting at me.  My heart was pounding.  I can't say that this is the first time a skeleton's arrow has scared me.  But this felt worse than usual.

Anyway.....

I came to the decision that I should quit Minecraft for awhile.

I also came to the decision that I would maybe write a Blogpost about my anxiety and Minecraft.

I decided, though, that I needed a photo for the post and signed onto Minecraft so I could take a photo of one of the caves.

The photo 

Seeing my little Minecraft world kind of quickly made me change my mind about taking a break.

I liked the idea of crafting fences and putting them around caverns and using them to block cave entrances.  Maybe I'll alternate between that and building my various skyscrapers.

I'm guessing my mood will determine whether I'm in a skyscraper mood or a fencing mood.  Well and I'll also have to dedicate time to cutting down trees for the fences and mining for the various skyscraper materials. 

I will probably try to avoid playing before bed.  

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts