I've been watching the TV show Sirens.
On the last episode of the series, Billy (Josh Segarra) is upset about his breakup with his girlfriend. He asks to stay with his friends Johnny and Theresa (Michael Mosley and Jessica McNamee). They agree to this but behind his back, they are eager for him to leave.
Until...
The morning when they wake up and see he has made a delicious breakfast for them.
It turns out cooking keeps his mind off his sadness.
He does more and more cooking for them.
Johnny and Theresa struggle to decide whether they are helping Billy or taking advantage of him.
I haven't actually finished the episode yet, so I'm not sure what they'll ultimately decide.
It reminds me, though, of thoughts I've had about the entertainment industry. This is that the consumers of content are contributing to the industry simply by consuming. And they're an integral part of the industry.
Actually, I was thinking only in terms of art but it really applies to probably most industries.
What is a restaurant without diners?
What would Disney World be without the guests?
What would be the point of the movie Parasite if no one went to see it?
But thinking on a more personal level, we all need to feel needed. It's not just that. But like Billy, we need to stay busy. It's easier to keep busy, though, when we know what we're doing is needed or wanted.
It's easier for me to write this blog when I know at least a few people are reading. Or at least, it's more exciting and pleasurable.
For someone who loves to take photographs, I imagine it's more enjoyable when they have people who are eager to see the photographs.
For someone who likes organizing, after they're done organizing all their own bookshelves, it's nice if they have other people's bookshelves to organizes.
If we like to help others, what would happen to us if there was no one around to help?
I see stuff on Instagram about how giving and doing for others will help bring us happiness. And it's better to give than receive.
So in order to find this joy of happiness, there needs to be people who need or want.
I'm definitely not trying to say that people should purposely give themselves problems, so other people can feel needed. But if we naturally develop a problem, and we feel conflicted about accepting help, maybe we can remind ourselves that by accepting help, we're passively-helping the person who is actively helping us.
There is a needed balance, though.
If we're too eager to accept or ask for help, and we take too much of this help, then we're unfairly taking advantage. This is especially true if we don't reciprocate enough.
There's that saying, Don't cross oceans for people who won't jump over a puddle for you.
Yeah. Those are the people I'm talking about. They're the ones who demand you jump over hoops for them. And whatever you give or do, it's not enough. Then when it comes time that they can do or give to you...
Hello? Are you there?
On the other side of the spectrum, we have people who get an excessive amount of self-satisfaction from giving. They love to do for others, because it makes them feel very good about themselves. They might also love the attention they get by sharing their good deeds on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, group chats, etc.
For some of these people, the self-satisfaction greatly outweighs their empathy, respect, and compassion. So it becomes a matter of I do this for you because I'm superior to you more so than I do this for you because I care about you and/or love you.
Then some of these people might reject or show disdain towards those trying to do or give to them. This could be because it's been too often drilled into their head that it's better to give than to receive. So they might feel selfish and greedy for taking from others. Or too vulnerable.
For other people, the resistance to receiving might come from a desire to hold onto that feeling of superiority.
Well and there's another thing. Distrust.
Let's say that Billy on Sirens ends up giving Johnny and Theresa food poisoning from his cooking. This would probably lead to them being much less eager to passively-help Billy with their eating. And it might carry over to them being weary of accepting active-food helping from their other friends as well.
Then poor Billy will have to sit with his sad thoughts about being dumped by his girlfriend. Or...he'll have to find an alternate form of giving and staying busy.
So anyway....
The next time you are sitting on the couch enjoying a Netflix binge-watching session, if you start to feel lazy, tell yourself that you're passively-helping the careers of TV writers, directors, actors, etc.
Or if Grandpa brings you some homemade cookies, enjoy them even more by thinking of the pleasure you're giving him by eating and loving his cookies.
It's really NOT better to give than to receive. It's better to do both...with balance.
On the last episode of the series, Billy (Josh Segarra) is upset about his breakup with his girlfriend. He asks to stay with his friends Johnny and Theresa (Michael Mosley and Jessica McNamee). They agree to this but behind his back, they are eager for him to leave.
Until...
The morning when they wake up and see he has made a delicious breakfast for them.
It turns out cooking keeps his mind off his sadness.
He does more and more cooking for them.
Johnny and Theresa struggle to decide whether they are helping Billy or taking advantage of him.
I haven't actually finished the episode yet, so I'm not sure what they'll ultimately decide.
It reminds me, though, of thoughts I've had about the entertainment industry. This is that the consumers of content are contributing to the industry simply by consuming. And they're an integral part of the industry.
Actually, I was thinking only in terms of art but it really applies to probably most industries.
What is a restaurant without diners?
What would Disney World be without the guests?
What would be the point of the movie Parasite if no one went to see it?
But thinking on a more personal level, we all need to feel needed. It's not just that. But like Billy, we need to stay busy. It's easier to keep busy, though, when we know what we're doing is needed or wanted.
It's easier for me to write this blog when I know at least a few people are reading. Or at least, it's more exciting and pleasurable.
For someone who loves to take photographs, I imagine it's more enjoyable when they have people who are eager to see the photographs.
For someone who likes organizing, after they're done organizing all their own bookshelves, it's nice if they have other people's bookshelves to organizes.
If we like to help others, what would happen to us if there was no one around to help?
I see stuff on Instagram about how giving and doing for others will help bring us happiness. And it's better to give than receive.
So in order to find this joy of happiness, there needs to be people who need or want.
I'm definitely not trying to say that people should purposely give themselves problems, so other people can feel needed. But if we naturally develop a problem, and we feel conflicted about accepting help, maybe we can remind ourselves that by accepting help, we're passively-helping the person who is actively helping us.
There is a needed balance, though.
If we're too eager to accept or ask for help, and we take too much of this help, then we're unfairly taking advantage. This is especially true if we don't reciprocate enough.
There's that saying, Don't cross oceans for people who won't jump over a puddle for you.
Yeah. Those are the people I'm talking about. They're the ones who demand you jump over hoops for them. And whatever you give or do, it's not enough. Then when it comes time that they can do or give to you...
Hello? Are you there?
On the other side of the spectrum, we have people who get an excessive amount of self-satisfaction from giving. They love to do for others, because it makes them feel very good about themselves. They might also love the attention they get by sharing their good deeds on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, group chats, etc.
For some of these people, the self-satisfaction greatly outweighs their empathy, respect, and compassion. So it becomes a matter of I do this for you because I'm superior to you more so than I do this for you because I care about you and/or love you.
Then some of these people might reject or show disdain towards those trying to do or give to them. This could be because it's been too often drilled into their head that it's better to give than to receive. So they might feel selfish and greedy for taking from others. Or too vulnerable.
For other people, the resistance to receiving might come from a desire to hold onto that feeling of superiority.
Well and there's another thing. Distrust.
Let's say that Billy on Sirens ends up giving Johnny and Theresa food poisoning from his cooking. This would probably lead to them being much less eager to passively-help Billy with their eating. And it might carry over to them being weary of accepting active-food helping from their other friends as well.
Then poor Billy will have to sit with his sad thoughts about being dumped by his girlfriend. Or...he'll have to find an alternate form of giving and staying busy.
So anyway....
The next time you are sitting on the couch enjoying a Netflix binge-watching session, if you start to feel lazy, tell yourself that you're passively-helping the careers of TV writers, directors, actors, etc.
Or if Grandpa brings you some homemade cookies, enjoy them even more by thinking of the pleasure you're giving him by eating and loving his cookies.
It's really NOT better to give than to receive. It's better to do both...with balance.
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