I've decided to make a list of all most of my life's what I used-to call-obsessions but the autistic community labels as "Special Interests".
I will surely forget things.
I know this, because I've seen myself forgetting things. I've been reading some 2006 journal entries and find myself being reminded of interests I had forgotten. Or sometimes there are interests that I downplayed in my head. But now I read my journal and think...Wow, I was super obsessed.
I'm going to try to go in chronological order.
Edited to add 4/6/24- I've now decided that many of these things were NOT special interests. More about that...way, way below.
Peter Pan
The Wizard of Oz
Roald Dahl books
Annie
Savannah Smiles
Poltergeist
All of a Kind Family Books
Michael Jackson (remembered and added 12/31/21)
Child Stars (especially Heather O'Rourke)
V
Disney World (off and on through out my life starting at around age 10 or 11)
Days of our Lives
Karate Kid II
Asian culture/people (maybe bordering on racist/fetish kind of thing)
Cabbage Patch Dolls (remembered and added 1/1/22)
Mario Bros
Stephen King Books
Anne Rice books
Pat Conroy Books
Dean Koontz Books
Nightmare on Elm Street (Especially the third movie)
Agnes of God (added 3/1/22)
Cystic Fibrosis.
Cruise vacations
Our Ouija Board (and the pretend-friends that went with that) (remembered and added 12/31/21)
The Lost Boys (Remembered and added 12/31/21)
Born on the 4th of July (added 2/24/22)
Novel Writing
Born Free (I had an Elsa AOL screenname way before Frozen)
Making collages
Abnormal Psychology, especially Dissociative Personality Disorder
Beetlejuice (remembered and added 1/2/22
Judaism
England (especially British people)
Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals
Comparative Religion
Hook
My Girl. (Weeping Willow with your tears falling down. Why do you always weep and frown?)
Scrooged
Saturday Night Live (Edited to add 1/25/22)
J.M. Barrie
Screenwriting
Primates (especially the Great Apes)
Titanic
Another World
Neurofibromatosis (much shorter and less intense than Cystic Fibrosis. But significant, because I wrote a novel and screenplay. And I've used the title (Thirty Cats) for various screennames, including Instagram, which I'm on a lot).
Wedding Planning. (hated the dress aspect but obsessed with music, cake, flowers)
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| a folder that shows a combination of my wedding and Disney special interest |
The X-Files
Seinfeld
Friends. (Edited to cross-out. I started having doubts about this one, because I don't remember doing anything outside of watching the show with Tim)
Twelve Monkeys
Parenting (especially attachment parenting)
Homeschooling
New York (a part of being homesick for where we previously lived)
Making/editing montage videos
Food
Nutrition
Weight Loss (This is and previous two all part of my eating disorder)
The Sims 2 (Remembered and added 1/3/22-was also into Sims and Sims 3 at other points but 2 was my favorite)
Eating Disorders (after realizing I actually might have an eating disorder...and all the imposter syndrome that went with that).
Charmed
Lucid Dreams
Spirituality (especially reincarnation)
Australia
The Colbert Show
McLeod's Daughters
Lost
Wicked (Added 2/24/22)
Twilight series
Harry Potter (Peak year for me was probably 2010-2011. Prior to that it would come and go with the release of the books. But 2011 I got involved with role playing activities).
Singing,
The King's Speech (Remembered and added 12/31/21
The Sing Off (Remembered and added 1/2/22
Modern Family
The Big Bang Theory (added 3/23/22)
Desperate Housewives
Ugly Betty (added 3/24/22)
Doctor Who
American Horror Story
Minecraft
The Walking Dead
Narcissism, toxic behavior, psychological manipulation, etc.
The Me Too Movement
Trump and American Politics
Coronation Street
Game of Thrones (added 2/21/22)
Dark The Netflix series (added 2/21/22)
TV shows in general
Myoclonus and Epilepsy
Cats (I've often considered cats more of a family member than an actual interest or obsession. But there was an exception between the time that Max died and Annie found us. In that time, we went to Japan where I had a strong desire to visit Cat Cafes)
Covid 19 (and at some points through out the decades a special interest in pandemics in general)
Anti-racism (added 1/3/22)
Schitt's Creek
St. Louis (this was kind of a budding one...and it was kind of pushed aside by the next one on the list...but now I've gotten a tiny bit back into it. Maybe)
Autism
Duolingo (remembered and edited to add 12/31/21)
The Characters I'm creating for a novel I will probably never write or I will write and it will be something to add to my list of unpublished and/or unsuccessful writing projects. (two of the characters live in St. Louis, so it gives me a chance to kindle that special interest)
Disney vs. Florida Republicans (added 4/22/2022)
This list is difficult not just because of forgetting things but because it's hard to see somethings as a special interest when I compare them to other things.
For example, as much as I was into My Girl for a period of time, it's NOTHING compared to how much I was into the Poltergeist movies.
And yes, I was into X-Files. But it's nothing compared to how much I was into Lost.
Although then I question that. Was I really less into X-Files? Or is it because there was less ability to obsess via the Internet in those days? Or has the passage of time led to my forgetting how much I (might have) been into X-Files.
Other special interests seem small, because they are common and many other people are more intense in their fandomship.
It's easier to feel as if something is a SPECIAL interest when our interest in it is unique. For example, I don't think being obsessed with Cystic Fibrosis is very common. Well, it might be more common these days, because it seems the disease has become more often used as a subject in fiction and nonfiction media. But back when I had it as a special interest....I was quite unique.
I'm thinking, though, that commonality shouldn't disqualify a special interest. Otherwise, we'd have to cross out trains and dinosaurs from childhood special interests.
Less intensity also shouldn't disqualify, because there will always be people who are more intense than us.
I feel I was probably VERY high up there in terms of having Australia as a special interest. But that doesn't disqualify other people with a less intense special interest in Australia. AND...there is probably someone out there who is/was even more obsessed with Australia than me.
The question that lingers in my mind and will probably continue to linger for a long, long time is where do we draw the line between autistic special interests and not-autistic special interests.
A part of the divide would, of course, be having other traits of autism.
I think EVERYONE has had at least one special interest in their life. Besides the other traits of autism...maybe it's about the amount of special interests and the intensity. Each special interest doesn't have to be intense. But maybe it would be expected that there's at least a few that are very intense.
I think, for fun, I'll make a scoring list for what traits make an interest a SPECIAL interest....aka a potentially autistic special interest.
If you are terrified of being a person with autism, this list might reassure you or terrify you.
If you are wanting to identify as autistic, this list might either reassure you or give you an imposter-syndrome induced meltdown.
The List
2 points for every time you are distracted from what you're "supposed" to be thinking about or listening to, because you're daydreaming about your interest.
2 points for every single time you Google the interest or something related. (yes other search engines count). Subtract 1 point for each search...if you're searching due to worry or fear. Though I think sometimes fears can become special interests.
5 additional points for every website about your interest that you actually spend time reading
5 points for each social media account, related to your interest, that you follow
10 points for every book that you read pertaining to the interest. This includes fiction written by an author you're interested in..not including the first book you read by the author.
10 points for each item you have purchased related to your interest
25 points for every time you rewatch an episode, scene, or see the movie again. (an additional 20 points if you actually buy theater tickets to see it again or you re-rented it from Blockbusters)
30 points if you watch a show or movie you'd usually have very little interest in solely because an actor or actress from one of your special interest shows/movies is in it.
30 points if you have developed a crush on someone because they are connected to your special interest
40 points if someone suggested that you talk too much about a special interest
40 points if when you played make-believe with your friends, you insisted the storyline be related to your special interest. Add 50 additional points if this sentence, for you, should be in present tense rather than past.
40 points if when reading, watching other books/TV shows/movies you were fervently wishing you were watching/reading your interest-thing.
40 points if you have written fiction related to your interest. Add an additional 10 points if the piece of fiction is a full-length project. Add an additional 20 points if you've written more than one piece of fiction. Add 100 points if you've written more than three pieces of fiction related to the interest.
40 points if you managed to learn something that would normally be too challenging for you.
40 points if you really want people around you to shut up other things and let you talk about your interest. Add 100 additional points if you've had this feeling for more than two days. Add 500 additional points if this has gone on for more than a month. Add 1000 points if this has gone on for more than three years.
40 points if thinking about your special interest brings you a sense of comfort when you're needing comforting or distraction.
50 points if you have gone to a convention because of your special interest. Subtract 45 of those points if you went only because your friends went. Subtract 49 of those points if you went mainly because your romantic partner or interest wanted to go.
50 points if your interest led you to choosing your college major or minor.
50 points if you have a career related to your interest (Add 100 additional points if having that career didn't end your special interest)
50 points if your interest inspired you to do volunteer work. Add 20 more points for each additional event or project or night you slept away from home because of the volunteer work.
50 points if you've made charity donations related to your special interest.
50 points if your special interest led you to writing a pointed message that got you into trouble
50 points for each time you have not been there for a family member or friend when you should have been there...because of a special interest. For example, you didn't attend your brother's wedding, because you wanted to be there for the midnight release of a Harry Potter book.
50 points if your interest led you to doing something that would normally terrify you
50 points if you have an email address or social media screenname related to the interest
50 points if the passion for your interest led to you being arrested. Add 10 additional points if you were convicted. Subtract 50 points if you are Black. Add an additional 50 points if you are convicted and in prison despite being white and upper middle class.
60 points if there was a golden apple on your 5th grade teacher's desk and you had this very strong wish/fantasy that this apple was magic and would transfer you to the fictional universe of your interest.
60 points if you have a blog, Instagram account, YouTube channel, podcast, etc. that is dedicated to your interest and add 50 extra points for every year that you've had the account, etc. If you don't have an account specific to the interest, add 5 points for every post or episode you've done about the interest.
75 points if you kept your interest a secret for awhile either because it was intense, overwhelming, sacred, etc.
75 points if you tried to deter yourself from the interest because the intensity of your feelings scared you or you didn't want to go through THAT again.
75 points if people skip over the usual small talk conversation topic and ask you about your special interest
75 points if you're not usually socially motivated but if people have a connection to your special interest, you are suddenly motivated to be social with them.
100 points if you have a book related to your special interest that you carry around like a comfort object...or any other item. Subtract 50 of those points if the item is soft or cuddly (and you're under the age of 12) OR if the object brings you positive attention from others.
150 points if someone asks if you've been tested for autism when you talk about your interest. Subtract 100 of those points if the person asking you is like me and is currently seeing autism in pretty much everybody.
200 points if you have gone on trips to places specifically because of your special interest. Add another 50 points for each time you returned to the place.
200 points if you have been interviewed on TV or a podcast to talk about your interest...not about your interest in general but to showcase you as an obsessed person. Add 50 additional points for each additional times you've been interviewed OR asked to be interviewed. Add another additional 50 points if it was national TV or a popular program.
Okay...that was a lot of fun making the list. But I have no idea how to do the silly or fancy math needed to come up with "correct" minimums.
I'll try.
If anyone doesn't agree with my divisions, please argue with me (politely....or at least without death threats...or at least without gruesome death threats...or if gruesome, please be creative and make it more blood centered than rape centered)
So....How about?
5-50 points - a minor special interest
51-200 points - a major special interest
200-1000 points- a MAJOR MAJOR special interest
more than 1000 points? Holy shit!!!!
As for autism....
If you have at least one special interest in the holy shit category, I'd read up on the other traits and seriously consider that you might be autistic.
Same goes for those who have at least 2 in the MAJOR MAJOR category.
Or at least 5 in the Major category
Or 30 in the minor category.
If the label autistic scares you, because you're picturing Dustin Hoffman rambling about the safety of Qantas or the virtues of Kmart underwear, you could take up the alternative labels of Intense, On the Spectrum, Aspie, Living with Intensity, HSP (highly sensitive Person, Crystal Child, Indigo Child, ADHD, etc.
They all pretty much mean the same thing.
Again, this list is not at all scientific. But if it's fun for you or helps temporarily relieve you of any imposter syndrome....very cool.
Edited to add 4/6/2024: I've come to realize that a lot of what I listed above were NOT special interests. And now I've come up with new categories to describe other types of interests.
So here we go....
Besides special interests, I've had
A) Stressful interests
B) Hobbies
C) Passing interests
Stressful interests are where I research something, because I seek validation, ammunition for arguments/debates, reassurance, etc.
Hobbies are things I like to do but I'm not especially interested in them. I would rather just do them than Google them, watch YouTube videos about it, etc.
Examples of this for me lately would be playing The Simpsons Tapped Out, feeding wildlife, and taking care of the plants in my backyard. I might Google if I need to know something for practical reasons but not just for the sake of wanting to learn more and having that extreme passionate enjoyment.
I love playing The Simpsons and have in rare instances Googled to find something out...such as: will planting Triffids end the game?
If the game was a special interest, I'd probably want to watch videos of other people playing, watch the actual TV show, learn about every voice actor, etc.
Passing interests are when I love something, because I'm currently reading it or watching it...or visiting a place. I'll get really into it for a short period and then I move on.
Often these feelings are recurring, because we revisit the place or a new season of the show comes out.
An example would be Dark. I loved that show. And each time we watched a season, I obsessed over it a bit. I listened to the music on Spotify. I Googled to figure out how the hell each character was connected, etc. But a few days after watching a season, the interest would fade, and I'd have a new passing interest.
Now....sometimes there will be some kind of lingering aspect. For example, I still listen to music from Dark occasionally. Mostly, because it's still on some of my playlists.
I've been learning French the past eight years or so. Why? Because we watched Les Revenants. My interest in the show soon faded, but the French stayed with me as one of my hobbies.
I thought it would be easy to go through the list and label most things as NOT special-interests.
It turns out it's not.
The problem is probably due to comparisons.
My special interests in Poltergeist, Cystic Fibrosis, and Australia played such a huge role in my life. Other things seem small in comparison. But when I think back carefully, I realize they too were special interests.
The three above were, I guess, my BIG Special interests. Or my Super-Special interests.
Judaism might fit in with the three above.
Medium to small special interests: Annie, Savanah Smiles, Nightmare on Elm Street, V, Great Apes, Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Most of the TV shows and books would be passing interests even those I love a lot such as Doctor Who and Lost.
Stressful interests: parenting, homeschooling, dreams and spirituality, eating disorders, myoclonus/seizures, narcissism/toxic behavior, autism, the MeToo-Movement, Trump, Covid, anti-racism, Israel
Hobbies: novel-writing, singing, screenwriting, collage-making, making videos, The Sims, Minecraft, Duolingo, dieting/eating, feeding wildlife, gardening, photography, AI art, etc.
Note: Parenting in itself wasn't a stressful interest. Though it's extremely stressful (along with extremely wonderful). But what I'm referring to is the excessive reading of parenting books, websites, magazines, etc. in pursuit of reassuring ourselves that we're not destroying the soul of the tiny person living in our home. The obsessing over breastfeeding, sleep, nutrition, discipline, education, etc.
