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I Now Have the Official Autism Stamp

I got my diagnosis a few days ago. I'm autistic. And I have ADHD and OCD.   I wasn't surprised.  It's what I thought I had.  My feelings were more like relief that the psychologist agreed with me. I believe that I also have dyspraxia and anxiety.  So I'm kind of...disappointed that I didn't get those labels.  But I'm thinking it could be more like those fall into the experience of being autistic.   I had actually brought up OCD in the diagnostic interview.  I'm not sure what led me to do that. Oh...well, maybe she had mentioned looking into ADHD?  And I was thinking...wait, what about OCD?  She didn't give me a lot of pushback, but she said something like all autistic people have OCD.  It's like part of the package. But she asked/suggested if I perhaps had a bit extra OCD and emailed me another test to take.  She also sent me an additional ADHD test.  Wait. Maybe that's what happened? Maybe she told me she was going to send an ADHD test and then
Recent posts

Conversations about Hotdogs

 Dear Family, I know you just want to talk about hotdogs and Chicago food...and joke around...and share photos of dogs. All those conversations would be cool as a subplot or comic relief.  I have nothing against light-hearted distractions...even in the worst of times.   But having those conversations amidst a complete silence regarding the January 6 Hearings and the overturning of Roe vs. Wade is very disconcerting. I tell myself, though, that silence is preferable to knowing how and why you still stand behind Donald Trump. That you think he's a bit crude but the real villain in the story is Schumer and Pelosi. Or hearing that although you support reasonable abortion and reasonable gun safety, you're going to continue voting for politicians who want no abortion and lots of guns.   Things running through my head as you discuss Chicago food: A) Our country is falling into the hands of fascist right-wing religious extremists.  I wish we could all openly and strongly agree that rel

Things Would Be More Fair If.....

One of the things that's hard for me as an autistic person...and specifically an introverted autistic person (there ARE extroverted autistic people, btw) is attending social gatherings...especially if it involves a large group and/or people I don't, or hardly, know. (By large group: I mean over 5 people). I don't hate these social gatherings.  I would be sad if they disappeared all together.  But I'd be more content if they were maybe three or four times a year....or at most once a month rather than multiple ones in a month or sometimes even multiple ones in two weeks.   When you live in the same metroplex as fourteen other family members, these social events happen quite often. There are birthday parties, graduations, performances, holidays, out-of-town relative-gatherings dinners-just-because, etc.  I would be much more okay with all of this if there weren't obligations, requirements, or pressure to attend.  BUT there is.   Every so often, we get a friendly no-obl

My Wedding Party Autistic Test

We are all autistic! No.  We're probably not. But I personally have trouble figuring out the line between autistic and allistic (non-autistic). Today, I came up with a test...not full-proof at all.  But it's something to think about.  The question: If we are married or have been married: Who was in our wedding party? My two sisters and my sister-in-law made up my wedding party.  I had no lifelong friends I could ask.  I had no real friends from work.  I was not still close to anyone from college.    I think not having friends to fill our wedding party is a sign that autism is likely possible.   If we had friends in our wedding party, and we continue for years or decades to remain friends with these friends...I'd say that was a good sign that autism is likely not be part of the story. There are exceptions, though. A) If we had to hide huge parts of ourselves to keep these friendships going.  Was it the type of friendship where we felt like we had to wear a mask and if we let

Various Thoughts About Our Experiences at Woke Disney

I was going to do a long drawn out trip report, but it gets too rambly, and I end up revealing things I don't want to...or shouldn't. So I'm just going to do a list of various thoughts.  1. Though Disney tried super hard with their magical grooming tactics, I'm still cisgender and lean heterosexual with a tendency towards bisexual celebrity crushes.   2. We never ended up using Genie + or Lightning lanes. 3. List of attractions I ended up going on: Epcot: Ratatouille (2x), Spaceship Earth (2x), Living with the Land (2x), Nemo, Test Track, Gran Fiesta Tour,  Magic Kingdom: It's a Small World (2x), The Carousel of Progress, People Mover, The Haunted Mansion, Hollywood Studios: Rise of the Resistance (2x), Smugglers Run (2x), Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway (2x), Star Tours, Slinky Dog Animal Kingdom: Nothing. I rode Gran Fiesta, Star Tours, and one round of Mickey and Minnie alone. The rest I rode with either Jack or Tim or both of them.   Star Tours was kind

It's a Mad World After All and Everybody Wants to Rule It

When we were at Woke Disney last week,  Tim and I went on It's a Small World while Jack went off on his own.  Later, we joined forces again.  Jack asked if we'd mind going on It's a Small World again.  I didn't. But I decided to spice things up a bit by playing an alternate soundtrack on my headphones.  I chose "Mad World", the Michael Andrews/Gary Jules version and then Lorde's version of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World". I'd like to pretend this idea came from my own little brain.  But I feel I've picked it up subconsciously from somewhere.  Or more like consciously from somewhere, and now I've forgotten from where.  Maybe I'll Google later.     I am wondering if maybe it came from my favorite Disney blogger ? Well...anyway.... It was a fun experiment. I do want to make this important point:  The choice to do this came more from thinking it would be fun to experiment rather than the dread of hearing "It's a Small Wo

Livejournal Friends

I've started to read the Livejournals of people who were my Livejournal Friends from around 2005-2008. I've been reading MY journals for the past few years...bonding with my past selves. Then a few months ago, I started reading the comments from my Livejournal friends.  I realized I had forgotten most of what I had learned about their lives.  It made me feel self-centered and also worried that I had been self-centered back in the days when reading their journals.  Some of these people gave me so much support. I worried that I hadn't done the same for them.  I might have, though. Hopefully. Anyway, I think the mix of guilt and curiosity made me want to go back and read their journals...starting from the beginning of their journals.  I've seen a few comments so far from myself...in one of the journals which makes me feel better.   The main reason I'm probably not yet seeing comments from me in the other journals is I'm reading entries either written before I joine

I Might Have Autistic Feet and Maybe Also Autistic Hair

Yesterday during a Googling adventure, I learned there are clues to autism in the feet.   Oh!  Now I remember.  I was Googling cowlicks/hair whorls. It came about because a conversation on Twitter. Someone compared being defined by autism to being defined by diabetes.  I think the point is that saying someone is autistic dehumanizes them to their autism when they are so much more than that. I would much rather be called someone with diabetes than a diabetic. I am more than just diabetes. I joked back that almost everything about me is autistic except maybe my nose and hair.  I then added: Diabetes is about your pancreas.  And it would be strange for someone's pancreas to play that big of a part in their personality.  Autism is about our brains.  And our brains play a HUGE part in who we are . Someone then reminded me that THERE is autistic hair.  Supposedly autistic people are supposed to have hair whorls and cowlicks.  It's actually on one of the autistic tests.   I wasn'