Sunday, December 1, 2019

A Morbid Post

This is probably somewhat silly for me to write because, as far as I know, I'm not dying.

Also, if I do happen to die, I don't know if anyone pertinent will read this before disposing of my body.

Thirdly, is it kind of silly to worry about what's going to be happening after you're dead?  Like I'm not going to be there, so why should I care?  Even if there is an afterlife, I'll probably be busy settling in and not so worried about what's going down below.  

No. I probably will be worried about those I left behind. 

I bet, though, that there are rules about being too preoccupied with it. You probably get demerits or something.  

BUT.....

Right now I'm of the living, and I have very strong feelings about what I want and don't want with my whole death thing.

I'm writing it here, because it's not something you can really talk about with family or friends.  Once in awhile we jokingly bring up quick statements of I want this or I want that.  But I'm not sure if anyone takes it seriously or is really listening.

Anyway, down to business.

A) I want my organs and bits donated to people who need them.

B) I really don't want to donate my body to medical science. Sorry. I'm too angry at all the overcharging bullshit right now.  But I wouldn't mind donating my body to special effects/make-up artists.  Like zombie-creators. Do they not need bodies to figure out things like...is it really that easy to puncture a zombie's brain? Sometimes I watch The Walking Dead and feel a bit skeptical about how easy they make it look. I mean old zombies, yeah. Sure. But newer ones? Isn't the skull a bit hard?

If the zombie thing doesn't work out....

C) I want a green (eco-friendly) burial.  Cardboard box if possible. Cheapest possible. No headstones.  If I can be buried in one of those forest places, that would be great.  I'm guessing somewhere in Texas there's something like that.

D) I do NOT want a funeral or memorial service. 
E) Weeks or months after I die, I would like a party if anyone is willing to put up the cash.  I'd like dancing, a DJ, and a photo booth.  What would be really cool is if the photo booth had funny death-themed stuff.

F) I don't want any eulogies or speeches.

I don't want eulogies, because.....

I don't want people making up bullshit about me!! As Marlo Stanfield says, My name is my name.

And what I'd really like is to finally get readers for my blog! So maybe if everyone is all mysterious about me, people will get curious and come to my blog.

No, probably not.

But a girl can dream.

G) I don't want any montage videos or collages.  Well, I'm okay if people show videos that I MADE but not videos made about me.  

H) I would appreciate it if I could be honored with vegetarian-only catering.  I'd also love one of those huge dessert bars.  

Oh! And PLEASE nothing with mayonnaise!!! 

I) I don't want anyone feeling pressured to come—especially people from out of town. I don't want anyone given guilt trips, and I don't want any grudges held about who didn't show up.  Whether they can't afford it, have other plans, or just are not in the mood....I'm cool with all that.  

J) Dress code: I don't want anyone to feel pressured to buy a new outfit. I think it would be lovely if people came with theme park attire or whatever makes them feel most comfortable and happy.  Maybe t-shirt and shorts. Or a casual dress? Or...how about costumes!!??  That would be very cool.

K) If people want to donate to charity in my honor that would be cool...although please don't donate to anything that is in line with what Donald Trump or Moscow Mitch would support.

If when I die, we still don't affordable medical care, it would be great if you donate to someone's GoFund me page.  Or something like that.

AND/OR...I would like my son (Jack) to fulfill his traveling dreams. So if anyone wants to put money towards that...I'd be quite pleased.  I mean I might not know if there's no afterlife kind of thing. But right now I'm alive and therefore can imagine it. And the idea makes me happy.  So.....

Thanks for reading!!!