What I Watched in 2020

I want to make a list of what I watched in 2020.

I've been wanting to do it for awhile. And I've actually started the post a few times only to soon delete it and vow to never try again.

But I'm trying again.

My problem is deciding how to organize it. Should I list it in chronological order?

In the past, I divided all my shows by geography.  

Well...actually.  Looking back at that post, it makes me want to do it that way again.

So I will.

I also colored shows that I loved in blue and shows I disliked in red. I think I shall do that again as well. Note: If a show is not colored blue, it doesn't mean I didn't like it a lot. I might have just liked it with less enthusiasm them the blue shows.  

I'm going to put shows in multiple categories if they take place (significantly) in multiple places. 

I really hope this ends up getting posted, and I'm not wasting my time writing a post that I'm going to end up deleting.

Well...if you're actually reading this, it means the story has a happy ending.

So...without much further rambling, here's the list.

UNITED STATES 

Knives Out

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - This movie totally made me cry.

The Good Doctor

Little Women -Bored by it, but I appreciate the feminist ideals. 

Succession 

Miss Sloane 

Sirens 

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 

American Horror Story Cult 

Beauty and the Beast - The TV show-remake of the 1980's show.  

Hunters - Tim liked this, but I quit after the first episode. I did like the set design, though.  

The Outsider - If it weren't for the last episode, I'd probably be marking this blue. 

The Handmaids Tale  

Mistresses 

The Plot Against America - It seems like, in 2020, I wasn't in the mood for fictionalized Nazi stories.  

It: Chapter Two 

Westworld- I loved season 1 and 2; was disappointed in season 3. 

Casual

Zombieland 2 - I made the mistake of doing things on my phone or laptop during this movie. I'm not good at multitasking while watching. It takes me away from the story.  So I feel I didn't give the movie the attention it deserved. I feel I lost out here. 

What We Do in the Shadows - The TV show. 

Us - Second time watching it. This is my favorite movie.

Doctor Sleep

The Big Bang Theory

Hart of Dixie 

Hamilton 

The Twilight Zone     

The Magicians 

The Last Ship - The vaccination scene in season 2 was a major tearjerker for me. A sharp juxtaposition to our real world social distancing.  

Blackish- I watched only one episode officially...the one that had originally been censored from airing. Sometimes I watch a bit here and there when Tim watches it. I do have it on my massive to-watch list. Hopefully someday I'll get to it. 

Fear the Walking Dead

Supernatural 

Ramy 

Chatter - I've actually forgotten where this horror movie took place. I think it might have been London and the United States? 

Broad City - I did NOT like this when I first started watching it; then it grew on me. 

American Housewife - This one is complicated. I was never bored by it. But it offended me too much. It was a like/hate kind of thing. 

Borat Subsequent Movie Film 

Evil 

Angie Tribeca 

The Comey Rule - I hope there are many more movies that illustrate the absolute awfulness of Donald Trump 

Scandal 

The Trial of the Chicago 7  

The Flight Attendant   

Doctor Who - the Rosa Parks episode

Please check out my online novel The Dead are Online!

CANADA 

Murdoch Mysteries

The Handmaid's Tale

Heartland 

Schitt's Creek - I love, love, love, love this show. I immediately started rewatching it as soon as we finished. Now I watch it on our Amazon Echo when I'm doing work at the kitchen.  

AUSTRALIA 

Secret City 

All Saints 

Wonderland - I obsessively loved this show back in 2015. But by the time I got back to it, it was hard to get into again. I did like it...just didn't love it again.  

UNITED KINGDOM

Coronation Street-This show is my constant. It's the one show I watch consistently through out the year/years. 

The Crown  

Life in Squares - I was bored by this 

Love is Thicker Than Water

Cold Feet-This is the show that has the infamous Emily from Friends. And, here,  ironically, her character's name is Rachel. 

The Railway Man

Denial 

Outnumbered - The middle kid in this...his voice (after puberty) reminds me of Boris Johnson.  

Doc Martin 

The Haunting of Bly Manor - I loved The Haunting of Hill House more. But this too was perfectly splendid. 

Doctor Who - We just started with the 13th doctor...liking it a lot so far.

GERMANY

Jo Jo Rabbit 

Dark

JAPAN

Sea of Trees

Death Note 

The Railway Man

NEW ZEALAND

What We Do in the Shadows - The movie. I loved this when I saw it but now I don't really remember it much. So I'm going to keep it not-blue. 

INDIA

Hotel Mumbai 

SOMALIA  

The Journey is the Destination 

KOREA

The Handmaiden - A bit too long and a bit too much sex for my taste. BUT since seeing the movie, I've read two of the author's (Sarah Waters) books and liked them a lot. I had the author on my list and she came up via Random.org. I hadn't realized the movie I disliked was based on one of her books. I was a bit hesitant to read something of hers, but decided to give it a chance. And I ended up liking it a lot. That was Tipping the Velvet. Then later I read The Little Stranger.   

The Host 

NOT EARTH 

The Twilight Zone - We watched a few episodes that took place outside of Earth. 

Doctor Who

NOT OUR UNIVERSE

Birds of Prey - Or is Gotham city supposed to be in the United States?  I'm confused about all that. 

The Magicians - 

THE GREAT BEYOND

Miracle Workers  

The Twilight Zone - At least one episode took place in the afterlife. 

The Good Place - 

Upload - This one has some strong similarities with my novel/now screenplays The Dead are Online, so I was sometimes uncomfortable watching it...just because originality was one of the major strongpoints of my novel. So...that's gone now.    

Soul 

 UH...WHO KNOWS

Lost - Rewatched season 2.  It was hard for me to get back into it. And I felt season 2 wasn't one of my favorites, but after awhile I was totally loving it and reaffirming my identity as a Lost fan.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Wrapping My Mind Around Cultural Appropriation Using Chanukah

 I align well and easily with most things from the left side of politics.

But there are some exceptions.

I've had a hard time with cultural appropriation.

Because in my mind, cultures should learn from each other and share.

And really...if we're not supposed to wear and experience things from different cultures, what does that do to all those stores in Epcot's World Showcase?  And if we actually travel to a REAL foreign country, is it horrible if we buy traditional clothing?

Are we being offensive by eating sushi at home?

Was it wrong of us to make Pavlova and Lamingtons? 

Is it okay for us to make Kimchi at home, because Tim was born in Korea,  but it wouldn't be okay for my cousin to attempt to make it?

I just don't like a world in which we're supposed to wear, use, eat, and celebrate only what's from our own family's culture/cultures.

Also, whenever I've heard of Gentiles doing Jewish things like having a Seder or celebrating Chanukah, I'm not at all offended. In fact, I feel the opposite. I'm very touched and excited by the whole thing.

A few months ago, I read this article that helped me understand things better. 

A Black woman defends her passion for Irish dancing. The idea is she makes it okay by learning about the origins of the dancing and giving the Irish proper credit.  

So I thought about things and this is what I decided:

If I heard about some Gentiles wanting to learn more about Judaism, so they read about Dreidels, learned how to play the game, and held a Chanukah party, I'd be super cool with that.

 And they don't have to do all that for me to be content. Simply playing the game and knowing that it's a Jewish custom...that would totally be enough.  

Here's what would not be at all cool:

I come across people playing a game. It has a name I've never heard of before. I watch them play and see it has the EXACT same rules as Dreidel. It's just all the words are changed. There are no Hebrew letters.

I ask the people playing if they know the origins of the game. They shrug their shoulders. It's obvious they don't care. They just want to be left alone.

I start to tell them it's a Jewish game we play at Chanukah.  They do their best to ignore me. They show no interest in the origins.

If THAT happened, I'd be very offended.  

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

More Thoughts about Apologies

 In March 2018, I wrote a five part series about apologies. If you're interested, here's part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5.  

I divided apologies into thirteen types: Gaslighting, Victimhood, Shut-up, Hero, Savior, Damage Control, Courtesy, Yom Kippur Style, Sorry for Your Feelings, Olive Branch, Forced, Shame, and Empathy.

In 2020, I wrote this angry, sarcastic post about using the word IF in an apology.  There I said, I'm sorry if you're not educated enough about apologies to know that adding IF to an apology usually renders that apology null and void.

I'm glad to see that I used the word USUALLY, because that means I don't have to contract my past self.  

Today, I was thinking more about the IF in apologies and when I feel it is appropriate and not appropriate.

Well, I'm reading my past writings about the Sorry for Your Feelings apology, and here I disagree with my past self.

Back then I said there were times where it was appropriate to apologize for someone's emotions.  My argument was there are times where we regret causing people pain but yet we do not regret that joke we told or the controversial opinion we shared. I still stand by THAT.  All jokes are going to be offensive to at least one person, and controversial opinions are always going to hurt or anger some people.  

BUT...I now feel it is never appropriate to apologize for someone else's emotions.

So this is what I'm thinking now about the word IF in apologies and what we should do when we don't like that we hurt someone, but we feel our words or actions were merited.  

A) When we know that someone has been hurt by our words and we now feel what we said or did was wrong, then we should say something along the lines of. I am sorry that I did so and so. I really regret it. It was shitty of me.

If someone reacts angrily to our actions and tells us what we did to make them angry, it is very weak to sit there and say, I'm sorry IF I hurt you; or even worse, I'm sorry if you were hurt by what I said.  

B) There are times where we don't know whether or not we have hurt someone.  The day after we said something, we might think about it and cringe, thinking, Yikes. That might not have been a good thing to say. But we might not be sure that the other person was hurt or angry.

Or we might not imagine that what we said was offensive, but the person hasn't returned our text...so then we start worrying. Did I say the wrong thing??

It's a bit presumptuous to assume we offended someone. So then I think, in these cases, it's appropriate to say, I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you yesterday, or I'm worried I made you angry yesterday.

C) There are times we stand by our words and actions, but someone is hurt and angered by them. Then I think the appropriate thing to say is simply, I'm sorry that I hurt you. You're not apologizing for their feelings. But nor are you apologizing for your actions. 

D) There are times where we stand by our words and actions, AND we don't give much a crap about whether we hurt the person.  Then we might say something like, Fuck you or Go to Hell. OR we might say, I'm so so so sorry! and then laugh wickedly behind their back.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Thanks for Expressing What I Feel

I am very amused by the outrageousness of it all.

But mostly I am disgusted, furious, disappointed, and scared.  

It seems many people didn't notice this, but scientists have been predicting a scary worldwide pandemic for a long time.

What I didn't see predicted is that in the midst of a pandemic, the main villain wouldn't be the virus or bacteria. It would be the President of the United States AND...all his sycophants. 

Crazy stuff.  

Anyway....I haven't been blogging a lot lately, because I'm feeling more comfort expressing myself on Twitter.

When I think of blogging, it's like I feel either speechless or that I'll have way too much to say.

I'm going to try to shut up before the latter happens.

What I wanted to really do in this post is share two things.

First is this monologue by Stephen Colbert done on the evening of November 5.  I think it expresses very well what I'm feeling and probably what 73,817,490+ other Americans are feeling. 

Second, is a Washington Post editorial by Jennifer Rubin entitled Time to Confront the Right Wing Myth Makers.   

Unfortunately, The Washington Post has a paywall.

I wish they'd do like some news outlets do and give you a few free articles/editorials a month.  To be fair, though, The Washington Post does provide some election and Coronavirus coverage for free. But Jennifer's Rubin's editorial isn't included in that.

Anyway...maybe I'll just quote some of my favorite passages from the editorial.  

So, here we go.....

1. The Greatest Challenge to our democracy is not that we hold deeply polarized beliefs, but that one party refuses to operate in a fact-based world that might challenge its beliefs.

2. Acela-Corridor conservatives, many of whom have benefited from "elite" or Ivy League educations and live happily with the benefits of blue America, love nothing more than to tell red America that city dwellers look down on them.

I think the sentence could have done without the hyperbole, but I agree with what she's saying.

Oh and I had to Google Acela-Corridor.  It has something to do with trains.

3. Many in the right-wing media bubble are marooned in a weird time warp in which the "other side" is some Cold War era Marxist caricature. But there is also a jaw-dropping, willful blindness about U.S history and race that allows Trumpian media personalities to exempt anyone from the charges of white supremacy unless they don a robe and hood.  

It is HARD having conversations with family and friends who have very different views than you.  It's hard talking about guns, abortion, healthcare, LGBTQ+ rights, racism, healthcare, the economy, etc.

But it becomes close to impossible when one side scoffs at fact checking websites and thinks that any news disagreeing with their viewpoint is part of a conspiracy and/or fake news. 

It's hard to have discussions with people who think the mainstream news is consistently unreliable but that Donald Trump's Tweets can be taken as gospel.

It's close to impossible to have discussions with people who believe it's insulting to suggest that the far-right has connections to white supremacy but that it's perfectly okay to suggest Democrats have a proclivity to sex-trafficking.  

Anyway....I hope the United States survives all of this.

Well...and I want to end this post with an extra thank you to some people who are NOT American. 

I want to thank all the people outside the United States (along with foreigners inside the United States) who responded with sympathy, love, and concern for the horrible situation we are in. Thank you for understanding that we are not one giant red mass of Trump supporters. And thanks for for passionately joining in on our big blue wave.  I send all of you huge social distanced hugs, kisses, and handshakes.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Trump is Not Like Hitler

Here's a story:

Daphne is taking a shower.

She's washing her breasts when suddenly she notices a small, firm lump.

Nervously shaking, she quickly finishes her shower, puts on her robe, and goes to the den where her husband Andy is watching TV.

Her voice breaking, she asks him to pause the TV.

Yeah?  he says.

I just found a lump in my breast.

Andy looks back at the TV.  Daphne hopes that he's thinking about what she's saying and trying to come up with a comforting response. But, truth be told, it looks more like he's wondering when he can get back to his show.

I have a lump in my breast, she says.

You sure?

Yes, I'm sure! She starts to cry.

Okay. Okay. Calm down. 

Calm down? Excuse me for being a little scared.

He takes a deep breath; then takes on a condescending gentle tone. It will probably go away. Just give it a few days. 

I'm going to go to the doctor.

The doctor? he says. For a tiny little lump?

I don't want what happened to your mother happening to me.

Now she finally has his full attention. He looks directly at her. Are you kidding me? Are you really going to sit here and compare your little bump with what happened to my mother?  How dare you. My mother had full blown breast cancer. And she had cancer in her lymph nodes. Her bones. Her brain! She went through surgeries, and chemotherapy. She lost her hair! And she's fucking dead. How dare you compare what she went through to your tiny little bump.

Daphne starts walking away, sobbing, 

Andy slams down the remote. He gets up and follows her. And another thing. You know my mother is a very sensitive topic for me.  Why would you bring it up? Are you TRYING to upset me?

No, Daphne says. But....

Just shut up, Andy says. There is no comparison with you and your little boob problem and the horrible things that happened to my mom.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Trump Supporters

I forgive the people who voted for Trump and now admit they made a mistake.

I admire and (sometimes) adore the people who voted for Trump and now actively speak out against him. 

I don't hold their past mistake against them, because I know what it's like to be misled. I know what it's like to go down the wrong path.  I know what it's like to believe in lies and to allow these lies to make us feel special...the waiting for the vindication. 

I don't care how long it took for someone to realize the extreme awfulness of Trump.

I also don't care so much why they crossed over to the Anti-Trump side. Yeah, it's better if something like anti-racism, anti-misogyny, anti-fascism, anti-gaslighting, etc. brought them there.  But if they crossed over for more selfish reasons...like realizing Trump didn't make their own lives better and things have actually gotten worse. Well, my feeling is there's hope that once they're angry at Trump for personal reasons, they'll start looking at the other stuff and come to a realization that Trump's bigotry, narcissism and abuse are horrible things. And then these ex-Trump supporters might join the resistance against awful things like psychological abuse, xenophobia, misogyny, racism, police brutality, tax evasion, downplaying the Coronavirus, fucking up the Coronavirus response, etc. 

What I plan NOT to forgive is the people who continue to speak out in support of Trump up through the election.  This might be in the form of directly saying positive things about Trump or it might be in the form of speaking out against those of us who speak out against Trump.  

There is the awful possibility that, like with the Confederacy, history will forgive and glorify the Trump supporters.

We might end up with epic Oscar-winning portrayals of romances among families of The Proud Boys. 

Schools might end up being named after Mitch McConnell and Herman Caine. 

We might get statues of Trump and Lindsay Graham in our city parks.

Shit.

I really hope that doesn't happen.

So...let's say it doesn't.

Let's say that through the decades, Trump supporting becomes more and more marginalized. 

Let's say America ends up treating Trump, Trump supporters, and Trump's actions in the same way the Germans treat Hitler, Nazis, and the Holocaust.

I can imagine, in that case, there will be people who will try hard to downplay their support of Trump. I can also imagine, that despite openly supporting/defending Trump, they will claim to have ended up voting for Biden.  

To me, that will be too little too late.

Because yeah. Each vote counts....or at least tries to count despite the ridiculous Electoral College method.  

But what also counts is what we say and do that might influence other voters.  

So yeah. I'd be very reluctant to forgive or excuse these people.

I'm thinking, though, that there ARE exceptions. 

Let's say years down the road, a Trump supporter realizes they did wrong. 

It's one thing if they gaslight, downplay, try to change the subject, etc.  Or they fake a change of heart for financial gain or a grab at fame or power.  

But if they truly realize they're mistake....

Maybe they speak out, fight hard from letting this shit happen again...write books and articles about it...and donate most of the proceeds to charity.  

Well...if I can forgive and love Ben Linus despite his participation in mass murder, I can forgive these past Trump supporters as well.  

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

Where Australia Fits

 In my last post I talked about regrets.

I've decided I want to clarify something.

I listed my two main regrets as not finishing film school and not staying in NYC.

I didn't list not-moving-to-Australia.

Here's how I feel about that.

Though I'm no longer obsessed with Australia, I do still wish we had moved there.

Well...especially now!

But besides all my political fears....

I can imagine us having a happy life in Australia. Because A) Australia is awesome B) I think it would have helped us avoid some of the problems that we've had here. 

I doubt count it as a regret, though, because we were never given any opportunity to move there. We never even came close.

So it's not like I made a choice that I now regret.

With film school, I was accepted and already IN film school. Though I found the intro to filmmaking class very challenging, I didn't fail it. I could have easily made the choice to stay and finish the film degree.

With NYC, we already lived there.  Now the apartment we were renting had a huge hike in rent price...but we could have probably found another place to live. Maybe we could have moved to Brooklyn or Queens?  Long Island?

But yeah...looking back in my life, I think there's a definite difference between unfulfilled wishes and regrets.

And that's not to say I'm not content with where life has led us.

Well....I'm less content lately. I feel like I'm in a nightmare that's going to get a whole lot worse.

BUT....besides that. Texas has been pretty awesome in some ways.  

Misplaced Blame

 I know we're not supposed to dwell on regrets. 

But sometimes I do.

My two main regrets are usually:

A) Quitting film school. 

B) Moving to Texas from NYC

Today I started dwelling on another one. The fact that it took me about twenty years to get back to writing screenplays. 

And where did I put that blame on that one?

This blog.

Which then led me to blaming my Australia-obsession. Because that's why I started this blog, and that's why I spent so much of my time writing on this blog.

BUT then I came to my senses.

Neither my blog nor my Australia obsession had anything to do with my super long hiatus from screenwriting.

It's not like I was busy writing screenplays and then I quit, because I became too busy with Australia.

No. I had quit years before.

What happened is I wrote a screenplay about time travel. I'm barely smart enough to watch and understand time traveling stories. I am NOT smart enough to write a time traveling screenplay. I think it fried my brain a bit.  

I mean I don't actually think the screenplay was that bad. But I think I overexerted my brain cells. And I think it made me lose the desire to write more screenplays.

The other thing is, I lost my Final Draft account. Or I lost the disk. Well....whatever. I didn't have access to it anymore.  And it's not cheap to re-buy.

I think in the last few years, I had some brief, vague desires to write screenplays. But I was too cheap to buy Final Draft and too lazy to do research on which free programs are decent.

Anyway, the good thing about the last regret is....though, I can't erase the past, I can write screenplays in the present and future. So it's not a completely lost cause.

 

Back to Wonderland

 I watched the Aussie show Wonderland, on Hulu, five years ago and loved it.

At the time, Hulu had only season 1 and part of season 2.

I've been waiting for the rest of the series to appear AND waiting for Random.org to pick it as my next show.

Okay...to be honest, I haven't been eagerly waiting.

I mean I haven't been dreading it.

I just haven't really cared.

My usual thing is to love a show with all my heart...while I'm watching it. Then when I'm done watching it, or I'm on hiatus from watching it, the interest and love fades.

So it's not like I've been dying to watch Wonderland the last five years.

BUT I will say I was pleased when Random.org said it would be my next show.

It's on Amazon Prime now, so that's where I'm watching it. 

At first, I thought they were missing the last season, but then I came to see that it's split up differently in the U.S than it is in Australia.  

Australia has it divided into three seasons.

The U.S has it divided into two.

I'm pretty sure that's what was going on with Hulu as well. I think what I watched was probably season 1 and part of season 2...and now season 2 equals the last part of season 2 plus all of season 3.  

Anyway...it wasn't hard getting back into it after five years.  My memory was a little hazy about what had last happened but not enough to make me feel confused or lost. Either that or the show is good at hinting to what has happened in the past.

The show did have me very much on edge, though.

I do NOT trust Australian dramas.

So what happens is that Steve (Tim Ross) and Dani (Jessica Tovey) are planning to move to Singapore for Steve's job. 

I wondered about that. Are the actors leaving the show? 

Or is something going to happen to make them change their mind about moving to Singapore?

Well, suddenly Dani is driving while using the phone, and she crashes.

Oh no. 

This is so Australian-television.

Fictional-Australia really needs to just get rid of all cars, trucks, and buses. 

Anyway....

Next thing I know, there's a hospital scene. And some of the characters are told that Dani is fine. She just broke her leg.

Did I relax?

Uh...no.

Not at all.

I saw Dani chatting and laughing...and waited for her to suddenly go unconscious. She may look happy, but her brain is bleeding.

When that didn't happen, I figured it was her broken leg. She's going to develop a blood clot. It will move to her lungs, and she'll collapse...dead in the kitchen.

There was a part of me that thought maybe she WILL be okay.

So it's her husband that's going to die. 

Dani and all their friends push Steve to go off to Singapore without Dani. They tell him they'll take care of her. They don't want him late for his work stuff.

I thought maybe Tim Ross is the one leaving the show, and he'll get in a plane crash. Or in a more Australian fashion, he'll get hit by a car as he's walking to a taxi.

Well...I finished the first episode, and so far....Steve and Dani are both alive.

It seems Steve has made it to the hotel in one piece.

Dani hasn't had a cerebral hematoma or a pulmonary embolism.

I'm slightly less on edge now.

But not completely.  

I can't imagine how they're going to continue the show with both characters in Singapore.  But I also can't imagine why Singapore would be canceled.

One idea I have is that....

Oh! I think I know.

Dani has a very close relationship with her father (Roy Billing) I bet something will happen to him.  Dani will feel obligated to stay with him while he's recovering. Then alone in Singapore, Steve will fall in love with a coworker.

Or maybe Steve will NOT fall in love with his coworker. Maybe he'll be bullied by a coworker...all his coworkers. He'll decide he doesn't want to deal with a toxic work environment, and he'll move back to Australia.

It would actually be kind of cool if NOTHING bad happened regarding them going to Singapore. What if they just lived and flourished in Singapore, and the show became partly about characters in Australia and partly about characters in Singapore.  

Yeah. TV shows don't usually do those kind of things.  But....fictional Australians don't often survive car accidents.  So...you never know.

Please read my novel: The Dead are Online

What Colleges Should Have and Should Be Doing

 I am so angry and disgusted with what American colleges have been doing regarding Covid.  

Well, I shouldn't lump all of them together. Some schools seem to be doing right by their students, staff, families, and the wider communities. But others have used Covid to put their greed and incompetency on full display.

Really. Universities SHOULD be being transparent in terms of their Covid response and case numbers. Instead they're being horribly transparent about how shitty they are.

Anyway...to help me deal with all this anger that's swirling around in me, I'm going to make a list of things I feel colleges should have done in the near past and should be doing now. 

1. As many classes as possible should have been online.

2. Residence halls should have been open for students desperately needing a place to stay. They should have had to write to the schools to explain their situation. THEY should have been the special exception rather than making students, preferring to stay away from campus dorms during a pandemic, the exception.

3. The number of students needing housing should have been reduced to the point that all students could have a private room. And the price of these rooms should have been reduced to double/triple room prices for students struggling financially. 

4. Schools should NOT have required Freshmen to live on campus. How greedy and desperate do you have to be to make students live in a crowded dorm with roommates?  It's quite strange that schools are so strict on not letting students come to college if they're lacking a meningitis vaccine, but the same schools will require students to come to school even though these students lack a Covid 19 vaccine.  

5. If schools wanted to be more welcoming than what I mentioned in #2, then they should have at most made it a choice. They could say, you may take in-person classes and live on campus or you can live off campus and take online classes.  

And no. It does not count as a choice if your school requires you to write to administration for an exception that may or may not be granted. 

Asking permission for an exception does not equal having a choice. Because almost everything in life has the possibility of exceptions...if you're willing to beg for it, and you have an excuse that those-in-power deem as sympathetic.

6. Schools should show some damn consistency. If you feel it's safe enough to require Freshman to live on campus, then it should be safe enough for students to be able to hold in-person club meetings. Administration can leave the safety of their homes or offices and police these meetings to ensure good mask-wearing and social distancing practices.

If a school feels it's safe enough to hold Football games, they certainly can find a way to hold a graduation ceremony. Have it outdoors. Masks. Immediate family only. Chairs spaced apart. 

Onto Isolation and quarantine rooms....

I've heard dreadful stories about this from various colleges. They're so awful that they've inspired me to write a horror screenplay about college Covid isolation.

Before the school year even began, I started questioning things. For the most part, my questions were ignored.

But I was wondering...

How are students....who MIGHT be feeling like shit....

How are they going to pack up all that they need for two weeks?

Will they be supplied with towels, pillows, linen, etc? Or will they have to bring their own? If they have to bring their own, who is going to help them carry it all?

I was told that they'd have to bring their own stuff. I never got an answer on who would help them carry it all.

The other question I had is whether anyone will be checking up on these students?  Will they get medical attention?  

Yeah. I know. It's extremely rare for young adults to die of Covid. But there are times where a young adult might get horribly sick...and at the very least, they need some TLC. Or at least they need a medical professional to check up on them. And some of them do get sick enough that they might need hospitalization. 

Anyway....so with all that in mind.

7. Isolation rooms should all be equipped with what one might find in a typical hotel room. Students should be provided with hand soap, towels, pillows, basic shower toiletries, Kleenex, and bed linen.  This way they only need to pack up their clothes, medicines, school supplies, and electronics. 

8. If possible, sick Covid-positive students should be placed together in a large room/ward rather than isolated in individual rooms. There should be nurses looking out for them. I personally prefer this image to a very sick student alone in their room.

Yes. Covid-possible students definitely need to be quarantined...alone. Because you don't want an yes-it's-Covid student hanging out with a no-it's-actually-not-Covid student.

But if a student is known to have Covid, why should they be isolated from other Covid students?

Heck, I'd be telling the students...Hey, this is your time to relax all the rules. Take off your masks! Hug each other! Kiss each other!  Hold hands and play Ring-around-the-Rosie.  

9. I want to return to the hand soap thing. It seems that schools were so unprepared for isolation and quarantine, they didn't stop to consider that students wouldn't have hand soap handy (ha) to take with them to isolation. Because you know....most students are sharing a bathroom. They don't have their own hand soap.

Now maybe there's something I don't know?  Maybe students were asked to bring hand soap and have it handy in case they went into isolation?

I'm doubting it, though. I think it's much more likely that those-in-charge didn't think ahead.

And the students probably assumed that if you pay thousands of dollars in tuition plus room and board, the schools would care enough and be smart enough to consider issues like hand soap.

10. Since many/some schools require students to buy into expensive meal plans, these meal plans should include the delivery of delicious, healthy, and safe meals and snacks to isolation rooms.  The food should also fit into all dietary needs whether those needs are dictated by medical needs, ethical decisions, or religious rules.  

And now onto testing.

11. All testing should be free.

Or well....

I guess you could have hypochondriacs or students who LIKE things stuck up way high up in their nose. So to be fair....how about the first three tests are free. Then if a student wants testing after that, they pay a small fee of 10-15 dollars.  

This is in contrast to schools who charge 30 dollars for sick students to be tested plus an office fee. When schools do things like this, it's hard not to imagine that they are trying to DISCOURAGE sick students from being tested. 

12. There should be a lot of testing of asymptomatic students. If there aren't enough students interested in taking the test, incentives would probably help. How about any student who gets tested is entered into a daily raffle?

13. This is a hard thing to balance. But schools need to be strict about social distancing and at the same time not punitive. 

If students are punished for breaking social distancing rules. And if these punishments are harsh shame-inducing, then it's less likely that students will want to cooperate with contact tracers. 

My feeling, though, is that if students have more supervised social-distanced activities, then maybe there will be less secret parties and secret dorm room get-togethers.

14. Schools should be very transparent about their Covid cases. They should have a dashboard that's updated frequently. Once a week is fine, but daily is preferable.

The dashboards should include:

A) New cases.

B) Total cases since the school year began.

C) Number of tests given/positivity rate

D) Isolation and Quarantine room occupancy rates. 

Oh! Let me just mention....

When I started asking questions about where students would be quarantined/isolated, how many rooms were available, whether there'd be medical assistance provided, etc....we were reminded that students could go home and isolate.

Okay. Even though it's better for community health NOT to allow students to go home if they have or might have Covid....I would feel very uneasy if there was a forced separation between students and family.

But for Fuck's sake. Schools should not act like they actually encourage or hope that students go home with Covid. And that is definitely the vibe I was getting.  

These schools really care only about getting their checks and staying in business. They don't give a crap about their students or the community. Covid has made that abundantly clear to me.

There was something else I wanted to mention.

I wish there wasn't.

I wish I didn't have any more complaints.

But I feel there is another big thing. And I can't remember what it is.....

15. Okay. I remember.

In order to keep the dashboards honest, all sick, isolated students need to either be tested. Or the dashboard needs to have a separate section for assumed-positive students.

Colleges should not try to suppress their case numbers by discouraging testing of sick students.

How do you discourage sick students from getting tested?

Well, first, as I mention before, you charge students for getting a test. And you also require them to have and pay for an office visit.

Then you also make a rule that students with typical Covid symptoms and students who've had contact with Covid positive people will have to go into quarantine even if their test is negative. This will make it sound like you're being extra careful...you know false negatives and all that.  And yeah. It's good to be extra careful about the false negatives. But this is also a really good way of discouraging students from getting tested. Who wants to pay all that money or endure an uncomfortable test if they're going to have to go into quarantine anyway?

If honest and decent schools are going to require students to quarantine no matter what their test result, these students should be added to the dashboard. The symptomatic-non-tested students should be added immediately to the dashboard. The contact-students should be watched, and if they develop symptoms, they should also be added.

16. Colleges should have a dedicated Covid staff. These staff members should be named and their email addresses and phone numbers should be available to the public, students, and family members. The staff should include a person in charge of testing, a person in charge of isolation and quarantine, and a person in charge of the dashboard and other transparency issues.  

Anyway, that's it for now.

If I think of more things in the future, I shall add them.  

 

Outnumbered

Okay.

Something VERY weird just happened to me.

Weird but meaningless...probably.

So I finished watching this pretty cool low budget horror movie called Chatter.  It's like ghosts via video chat. 

Well, I'm assuming it's low budget by what I saw on the film. If it's not low budget...yikes on them.

Anyway, when I finished watching the show, I got a little message from Amazon Prime saying something like Coming up next: Outnumbered Season 3.

I thought that was odd, because I'm pretty sure that back when I watched Outnumbered, I did so on Hulu and not on Amazon.

But maybe I'm wrong.

Well, I'm looking at my Amazon Prime app now. There's a list of my shows, and Outnumbered isn't on it.  Although to be fair, I also looked at Outnumbered on Hulu, and it has me starting Outnumbered with season 1.  But that's happened to me with other shows recently.

Anyway, though....that's not the weird thing. I mean that's mildly weird but not super weird.

Okay, but then....

My tradition is to pick a new show after I've finished watching an old one.

I have a list of 150 shows and movies. I use Random.org to pick my next one.

So after finishing Chatter, I picked my next show.

Can you guess where this is going?

Yep.

I ended up with Outnumbered!!!

Now I have to figure out which season I'm on.

It might actually be season 3.

Maybe instead of having a scary video chat ghost, I have a very helpful screening app ghost.

Outnumbered, by the way, is a very cute and funny British comedy about parents who struggle to deal with three very clever and energetic children. 

The other show I'm watching lately is season 2 of Supernatural.  Well, that's by myself. Then Tim and I started watching Ramy last night. I learned about Ramy from one of my cousins. So far, I'm loving it. It's a comedy about a young Muslim man who's looking for his first Muslim girlfriend. And when he loses his job, he's pushed by his mother to work for his anti-semitic uncle. It really shows Muslims in a different way than they're usually showed in American movies and TV shows. 

Not all fictional Muslims are terrorists on the American screen, but I think most of them are really serious and uptight. Ramy is a refreshing change to all that. 

Back to Outnumbered, I'm going to try to figure out what season I'm on. Since 2016, I've been keeping a list of every single movie and show I watch. I should've written it down by season, but I didn't.  I can, though. maybe figure it out by counting the number of times I've watched Outnumbered.

Okay. I looked on my Google Doc.

I watched Outnumbered in December 2016 and then again in March 2017. So I'm probably on season 3...UNLESS I started watching the show before I started writing all the shows down. 

Actually, now I remember recently, while reading old posts, seeing mention of Outnumbered. I should find that post. There might be a clue there.

Before I do that, let me just say...it doesn't seem like it's been three years since I've watched Outnumbered. Time really goes by fast.

Well, shit. Never mind. 

I found an old post from February 2018 where I mention watching Outnumbered.

Did I forget to write that long on my massive list. If so, can I ever trust that list again?

Or maybe the FIND function simply wasn't working well when I searched the document for Outnumbered.

Okay. Good. It's the FIND function that messed up.  I do have it written down that in February 2018 I watched Outnumbered.

Time still goes by fast...but not as fast as I was feeling a few moments ago. 

Well...and I just did the FIND function again, and it turns out I also watched a season of Outnumbered in July 2017.

So I've actually watched four seasons of Outnumbered. I'm on season 5.

The TV show streaming ghost app failed me. But that's okay. I forgive it. 

Please read my novel: The Dead are Online 

It is what it is

I hope we shall always remember

that Trump supporters decided to turn this all into survival of the fittest.

So for those who end up on their death bed....

Just understand that if you are overweight, elderly, have heart disease, diabetes, cancer, lung disease, are immunocompromised, have kidney disease, etc.

Well....if you have those things, your death is deemed as acceptable. 

No. Don't get me wrong. The Trump supporters might miss you. They might shed tears. They might provide heart-tugging eulogies at your funeral.  But still...they felt the economy was more important than keeping you safe and healthy.

And it's actually not the economy. It's the status quo. Because we could have gone true market economy—let pandemic-friendly businesses thrive and allow pandemic-not-friendly businesses fail...giving money to people so they can survive rather than pushing them back to work.  

But back to the dying.  

Here's an analogy.  

If someone dies on a Disney World rollercoaster, we say that it wasn't the roller coaster that killed them. We say they died from an underlying condition.  Right?

These roller coaster deaths are rare.  Healthy people can go on the ride without a scary. fatal incident. And despite the warning signs, I'm betting most people with mild to moderate underlying conditions will live through the experience and go onto fight evil alien toys on the Buzz Lightyear ride.  

But what if 180,000 Americans died on Space Mountain?  Would we still be saying that the roller coaster is safe and not anything to worry about?  

What if 6% of the people dying on Space Mountain had no underlying condition? Would we then say...hey! See. Told you Space Mountain is not a concern!  Only 11,000 healthy people were killed on that ride!

No. I don't think we would.

And I'm quite sure Disney would have shut down Space Mountain way before we got even remotely close to 180,000 deaths.    

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Just Eat the Peanut Butter Cookie

Let's say there's a first grade classroom.

Elizabeth is passing out treats she made with her mother—peanut butter cookies.

She comes to her classmate Lily.  

Instead of reaching out and taking the cookie, Lily takes steps backward.  I can't. I'm allergic.

Come on! It's fine, Elizabeth says. They're really yummy. My mom and I worked really hard to make them. 

I'll die if I eat them.

You won't die! Elizabeth laughs. Trust me. I've eaten them all my life. And I'm fine. They're not poison!  The only way you'll die is if you like try to swallow them whole and end up choking. Just don't do that.

Lily shakes her head and takes more steps backward.

Elizabeth rolls her eyes; then walks away. She mumbles under her breath. Your loss.

Elizabeth's ignorance leads to her lack of empathy. 

And it's not just any kind of ignorance. It's willing ignorance.  If she was open-minded enough, she could have stopped and listened to what Lily was saying. She could have asked what Lily meant by the whole allergic-to-peanut-butter-cookies thing. 

But what Elizabeth has is the mindset, that if it works okay for me, it should work okay for you.

It's an empathy where people can walk in other people's shoes...as long as they're wearing the same shoes.

In conversations about police brutality and murder of Black people, some Trump supporters will push the message that Black people will not be harmed as long as they act obedient with the police.

They say this, because it is very likely that this is what they have been taught. This is what they've seen on TV and movies. And this is what they have experienced.

Those of us with light skin have learned that if we are polite with the police, the worst that will happen to us is we'll get a ticket. We might even get off with just a lecture.  

Well, I'm talking about with things like speeding or running through a stop sign. Hopefully, politeness wouldn't easily get us out of a murder, rape or robbery charge.  Though if we're white, have that superficial charm skill going for us, and can afford a really good lawyer....hey, who knows what we can get away with.

When it comes to Black people, politeness and obedience doesn't guarantee they'll come out of the situation alive.  

And then there's the question of whether it's possible to be perfectly polite and obedient when you're terrified.

When I was driving, I was very scared and nervous about the police. And it was simply just for the threat of being scolded. It was about shame and embarrassment. 

I didn't worry about the police killing me or severely injuring me. I didn't even worry about them giving me a little pinch. 

I can't remember exactly how I behaved when the police did stop me. But I imagine I wasn't perfectly, wonderfully poised. My voice probably shook. I probably looked shifty...guilty. I probably acted like someone who had pounds of cocaine hidden in my trunk. Or a dead body.

Now...what if all my life I had seen stories on the news about police shooting unarmed Jewish women? What if my parents warned me to be careful of the police, because they killed Jewish women and were often not fired and very rarely prosecuted?

What if they gave me instructions on how to behave, so the police are less likely to kill me, but from what I've seen and heard, it seems even if I try to follow those instructions, I might still be murdered.

Then I would probably be very flustered.

I'd probably fail to clearly hear the instructions of the police. I would probably be making mistakes, because being terrified makes it hard to listen and follow directions.

In a split second, I might decide that justice doesn't work in favor of people like me...and I might go into flight or fight mode.  

Is it understandable for a police officer to become nervous when a Black person goes into flight or fight mode?

Certainly. And maybe they go into fight or flight mode as well.

BUT I would hope that they'd be strong enough and trained well enough, and.....

Psychologically fit enough....

Well, I would think they could use some cool Ninja moves to restrain and calm the person in custody rather than shoot someone seven times or kneel on someone's neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds.

I'm being generous, though, with the fight or flight mode thing. I think in most cases it's more likely racism plus looking for excuses to kill a Black person plus knowing that it's quite likely they'll get away with it. They can bully. They can murder. They can terrorize. They can brutalize. And the police union, President Trump, and Trump supporters will have THEIR back.

Although...HOPEFULLY that will be less the case for now on.  Well, it's still the case that Trump, his supporters, and the police union will be sympathetic towards the police who brutalize and murder. But hopefully, the opposition to all of that and all of them is getting stronger and stronger. 

When Lily refused the peanut butter cookies, no one in the classroom spoke up for her. And where was the teacher? Why didn't she intervene?  And why the hell were peanut butter cookies allowed in a classroom with a deathly allergic child in the first place?  

Elizabeth might never change. She might always be small-minded. She might always lack empathy. 

Or maybe with pressure and guidance, she might change. She might learn about peanut allergies. She might even become an advocate for those suffering from allergies. Maybe she'll be inspired by her childhood experience to become an allergist.

Who knows.

But let's say, she doesn't change. She remains a pushy little brat. Well, what I'd hope is that, if this is the case, she'd be the one marginalized by the teacher, her classmates, and the anti-peanut rules...instead of Lily being the marginalized one.  

In the same way, I hope Trump supporters, with their lack of empathy and willing ignorance regarding the unfairness and danger of our justice system, become more and more marginalized by society. I hope they become a pathetic quiet whisper drowned out by the roar of progressive change.  

Anyway....

I just wanted to add some links to videos that have helped me better understand things regarding the police, police brutality, feelings towards the police, etc.

1. Copaganda-How Cop Shows Lie to You...from the Daily Show

2. Why did the Police Shoot Jacob Blake from the Daily Show. 

3. The Hero Cop Trope-A Controversial History from The Take 

4. Police: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.  (And let me just add that I was cruelly prejudiced against John Oliver until seeing this video. But now my anti-John Oliver feelings have melted away). 

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Five Dollars for a Giant Pink Donut

Last night I dreamed....

I'm working with a computer program that lets you create stories using Family Guy characters at an amusement park. 

I'm planning on doing a scene that has similarities to the boat scene in Willy Wonka. I consider using Puck's soliloquy from A Midsummers Night's Dream.  I'm wondering if I should write the monologue in italics.

Then I end up with a log ride, which I'm not sure what would work for my boat scene.

And then...I feel like I'm actually on the log ride. I lose interest in creating a story and become more interested in using the program as a sort of virtual reality.  I swim underwater and look at leaves, noting that I can breathe underwater.

After that, I walk around. I stop at a donut stand. They have huge donuts the size of my head. The woman working there isn't very friendly, and there's a sign warning that all sales are final.  

I order a donut, learning that it costs five dollars. Despite there being different flavors, she doesn't ask what type I want.  She just hands me a pink donut.

I leave the stand and begin to eat. The donut no longer looks like a donut. It's like the program couldn't keep up the imagery. Now it's just layers of brown dough. It tastes sweet but dull.  

The Family Guy thing was a big random. I don't watch that show.  But I've been reading bits and pieces of screenplays, and that's one that I looked at.  Although that was weeks ago. 

I guess the pink donut is a reference to The Simpsons.

I think, though, that my main reason for having the dream is this idea I've had since the pandemic began. Why aren't we working harder on making Ready Player One a reality????

I was preaching about that in the spring. And I started again this week with the colleges opening.  Why isn't anyone creating a massive virtual university; one with classes, dorms, parties, clubs, etc. 

Would it work? 

I'm not sure. 

I haven't had much experience with multiplayer games or experiences.

I played a few Minecraft games. But it didn't go beyond games. There was no real conversation or socializing. 

And I know colleges already have a lot that is virtual. A lot of classes are virtual. And thanks to online groups/apps, Jack already had a fairly rich college social life, before even getting on the actual campus and meeting his fellow students in person. 

Would it be worth it to have an extensive online college experience with pretend dorms, pretend roommates, pretend coffee shops, pretend cafeterias, etc...and real classes? 

A part of me can't picture it working. I picture professors trying to teach via virtual classrooms, but then all the little avatars don't want to stay. They want to jump around the virtual world—playing, chatting, and exploring.

But, in a way, regular college is like that too. 

I was talking to Tim about that yesterday.  College is supposed to be about the classes and the degree. But when I look back to my college days, the classes feel kind of like the subplot.    

Pushing Politics on the Kids at Camp Wak-n-Hak

Yesterday, in the car, Tim and I reminisced about the Cystic Fibrosis camp we both volunteered at. I still remember and miss the kids in my cabin. From over thirty years ago!!!!

Anyway...then last night I dreamed about the camp.

I'm watching an old video of the camp. Nancy (a CF volunteer) and a CF mom are in the room with me. I see myself talking to a child. The child and I are chanting something about being politically on the right, and we also chant some anti-left stuff.

I'm quite surprised to learn that past-me was right-winged. I get the idea that, back then, I associated the right with being wholesome and the left with drugs.  

 I'm also surprised that I was talking about politics with a camper. I'm thinking that the camp spent a lot of energy training us to do CF treatments but that they should have also taught us not to talk politics with the campers.

I want to make sure I heard what I thought I heard on the video, but it's hard for me to concentrate because Nancy and the CF mom are talking. 

I can understand why I dreamed about camp...since we were just talking about it.  Not only that, but I have videos I took at camp, and I've been longing to watch them lately. I probably haven't watched it in over twenty years.  They've been calling out to me.

Oh! I think I know why.

One year, for our cabin skit, we did a Twilight Zone thing.  A young girl named Passha played the part of Rod Serling. So since we've been watching the Twilight Zone, I think that has been making me think of the skit, Passha, camp, etc.

As for the right-wing stuff....

I couldn't understand that at first. But while writing the post, I realized it's probably because I've become a fan of The Lincoln Project. They're a group of conservatives fighting passionately against Trump. I enjoy their stuff on Instagram and Twitter, and I've gone to two of their Zoom presentations. The last one was very enlightening and helpful to me. 

I'm wondering if there is a tiny subconscious part of me that's wondering (worrying)...if I spend too much time with this Lincoln Project, will I end up conservative? Although really...it feels like people of The Lincoln Project are more moving towards the left than they are moving me towards the right.  I've never encountered anything from the Lincoln Project that has made me think, Well, I'm glad they've joined the fight against Trump. I just wish they didn't believe....

I feel, for the most, part we're really on the same page about...pretty much everything.  I mean they might not be totally behind things like universal health care. But neither is everyone on the left. 

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

First Time Using a Public Bathroom Since March

We dropped Jack off at college today.

And when I say "dropped off" I mean that almost literally.

It was a super hot day in Texas today. I think it got up to 107?

I ended up having to pee on the ride there.

I didn't want to pee in Jack's dorm, because I wouldn't want to know that a bunch of random parents and siblings were peeing in Jack's new bathroom. So I didn't want to do the same to anyone else. I mean it's bad enough sharing a bathroom with other students during a PANDEMIC. But worse to have to share with their family members as well.

I had Tim drop me off at the university center.

I went to the bathroom, realizing this is the first time I've been in a public restroom since the pandemic began.  The thought made me feel proud. Yeah, Dina! You're so good at social distancing!!!  

It also made me feel horribly privileged. 

The funny thing is, I think the last time I went to a public restroom....it might have been at the university. The last big outing we went on before the pandemic began was on March 7. We went to an event a the college and then we went out to dinner with my parents and my cousin.  There's a chance I went to the bathroom at the restaurant, but I don't remember doing so. 

Anyway.....

The restroom in the university center was pretty gross.

I mean, it wasn't a horror show.

But I would have hoped they'd keep it extra clean during the pandemic.

Which makes me feel conflicted. Because extra clean means extra hours and work for the custodians—extra time and chances for them to risk their lives.

After I did my business, I went to wash my hands.

I then saw that they didn't have lovely touchless paper towel dispensers.

Instead they have those super strong air blowers. I didn't use, because I vaguely remembered that those are not good for helping to remove germs.  I looked it up on the way home and saw that my vague memories were correct.

Tim and I have been fighting the school a lot about their Covid response. The hand blowers was just another thing to add to our angers. Although it's minor to other things....such as requiring Freshman to stay on campus and have a roommate; allegedly threatening to fire staff for complaining to the media about their concerns; and scaring/guilting students who have chosen to take a gap year.  

 

Anyway, back to my story.

I had this idea that I'd go the bathroom and quickly make it back to the dorm to help them unload the car.

That didn't work out well.

I had no idea where I was going. And there were none of those lovely little signs that some places have...with the arrows pointing you in the right direction.

I had to use Google Maps and my compass on my iPhone.  With the combination of the extreme heat, my stupidity, and dropping-your-kid-off-to-college nervousness, I forgot how to use Google Maps.

I kept going in the wrong direction.

By the time I got there, Tim, Jack, and the new roommate had brought up all the stuff. Jack and the roommate were ready for us to get out of there, so they could go to lunch to meet a friend.

It was a VERY quick goodbye. 

We had planned to help him unpack a bit...mostly so we could take back some of the stuff such as boxes and suitcases.

But....my bladder ruined that.

Well, because if I hadn't had to pee, I could have helped them unload. Then we'd probably have time to quickly dump stuff out before the lunch date.  

Anyway....

Hopefully, Tim and I will be wrong. Hopefully a miracle will happen and the university will defy biology. The students will stay healthy and not pass on Covid 19 to to their family members and the community.

OR hopefully the powers-that-be will have the good sense to close down the school when it comes to that point, AND hopefully they will offer housing and meal plan refunds.

What I fear is they will try to suppress cases as much as possible...just so they can keep the school open and not lose more money.

I mean I DO feel for them, and I worry that all these institutions are losing money. I'm not sure what's going to happen to higher education. I imagine there will be a lot of bankruptcies and closures.  And that's going to be horrible for the communities as well. 

But I still think that, when it comes down to it, keeping people alive and healthy needs to be the top priority.  Living people...survivors...can later work to reopen that which had to close....and/or they can work to rebuild and innovate.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Comparing Texas to Countries in Terms of Covid 19

I'm looking at the fun World Meters site. 

I decided I'm going to compare Texas to countries around the world...mostly in terms of Covid 19 but also a little bit of other stuff. 

I'll start with population.

Texas has a population of 29 million.

The countries that also have 29 million people are Nepal and Yemen. 

The population of Fort Worth, the city we live in is 895, 000.

The countries that come closest to that are Fiji at 897,000 and Reunion at 896,000.

Where is Reunion???

Ah...It's a French Island in the Indian ocean. 

The population density of Texas is 109.9 residents per square mile. 

The closest countries...or territories. I think Reunion is a territory.

I get confused about these things.

But anyway, this isn't about Reunion.  I'm past that.

The PLACES with population density similar to Texas is Columbia at 105 people per square mile. And Lithuania at 111 per square mile.

And I'm pretty sure both those places are countries. 

I'm ashamed, though, to say I've forgotten where Lithuania is. I'm leaning towards Africa or Europe.

I feel so stupid.

Okay...Lord Wiki says it's in Europe.

It's one of those Baltic countries I rarely pay attention to.  

Now I'm going to get to the Coronavirus stuff.

Texas has about 533,000 cases. 

That number is close to equaling the population of the Maldives (542,000). 

The two countries that have close to 533,000 cases are Peru (499,000) and and South Africa (569,000).

I've been reading fantastic blog posts about Peru—tourism related not Covid 19.  

Yesterday Texas had 6300 new cases.

The countries that come closest to that are Russia (5100) and Mexico (6700).

Texas has had a total of 9200 deaths.

The country that comes closest to that is Germany. They too have had 9200 deaths.

Texas had 225 new deaths yesterday.

The country that comes closet to that is South Africa and Peru again—259 and 212. So we are alike in number of cases and alike in number of deaths yesterday. 

Texas has 18,000 cases per million. The country closest to that is Panama. They have 17,900 cases per million.

Although I rounded up a lot with Texas.

Texas actually has 18,300 cases million.

As for deaths per million, Texas is at 318 per million.

The country closest to that is Bolivia at 322 per million.  

Now I'm looking at Tarrant County...where we live.

We have close to 35,000 cases. 

The countries that come closest to that are Morocco (37,000) and Azerbaijan (34,000).

We've had 434 deaths. 

The countries that come closest to that are Bosnia (458) and Cameroon (401).

Oh!

I forgot to look at tests for Texas.

Texas has had 4.5 million tests.

Canada has also done 4.5 million tests.

They have more people than us—37 million compared to our 29 million. 

So we're actually doing better test-wise than them.

But still.

I prefer Canada to Texas.

Probably.

I've never been there before.

But most of my TV shows are filmed there.

AND they are helping all those poor women escape from Gilead.

AND.....

They have better healthcare.

AND....

Trump is not their president. 

Also, Canada has less Covid cases than us (121,000 compared to our 533,000).  

We both have about the same amount of deaths. Texas-9200 and Canada-9000.

Though yesterday, Canada had only 15 deaths.

Texas had 225.

So all in all, I'd say Canada is doing better.

Testing in Texas

Every morning I read the news on my Washington Post app and also look at their United States Covid statistics. 

One thing I've been noticing is Texas is not doing well in testing lately.

The past few weeks, our percent positive rate had been going down. Now it wasn't going down to the decent number that says, Yay! Y'all did good. You can go back to school now!  But it was getting lower.

I'm looking at the stats now. 

So....

In the middle of June, we had a positivity rate of about 6-7 percent. That seems really good compared to what we'd have later...and now.

By the end of June, we were in the 13-14 percent range.

It kept rising.

In the middle of July, we were in a 16-17 percent range.

Then it started going down.

By the end of July, we were back to about 12-13 percent. 

On August 1, we started rising again.

And we keep going up and up.

The Texas dashboard, I'm looking at now, says our positivity rate on August 10 was 24%. 

Oh! The Washington Post says the same thing. I thought they had a lower number. But maybe after I read it this morning, they updated the info.  

24% is awfully high.

A high positivity rate means you have a lot of people with the virus or you're not testing enough.  OR it could be both.

I'm guessing with Texas, it's both.

But I KNOW we're not testing enough.

Looking at the Washington Post's stats for the last 7 days.

California has done the most tests—881,000. New York has done the second most—487,000.

The most populous state after California is Texas NOT NewYork. So Texas should have the next highest number of tests after California.

But we don't. 

Five other states have had more tests than Texas: California, New York, Illinois, Florida, and Georgia. 

Texas has done only 204,000 tests in the last 7 days 

The question is WHY is testing so shitty here?

Do we not have enough tests?

Do we not have enough of what's needed to process the tests?

Or are there powerful people following the Donald Trump idea that more testing makes a place look bad? And if that's the case...is it working for some people? 

Are there people looking at our case count and thinking...hey, we've been doing better lately? Do they ignore the positivity rate and just look at the case counts?

Although, we really aren't looking good in terms of new cases.

In terms of case counts for the last 7 days, Texas is doing the third worse.

California has had 50,000 new cases.

Florida has had 48,000 new cases.

Texas has had 41,000 new cases.

BUT.....

I'm betting if Texas came in second in terms of number of tests done, they'd probably be coming in first or second with new cases.

In terms of new deaths for the past 7 days, we come in first.

We've had 1213 deaths, Florida has had 1147.

I'm looking back at tests to see the totals rather than the last 7 days.

In terms of that, things are less shameful. We come in third.  New York comes before us. It makes sense, though, because New York had the huge outbreak earlier. 

No...I'm wrong.

I hear Tim arguing with me in my head.

And Tim-in-my head would be right.

If Texas had been doing as much testing as New York back in the early days of the pandemic, then we would have likely escaped all the cases and deaths we ended up having.

And even though, New York has been doing much better lately—less new deaths and less new cases, they are still doing a ton of tests. 

Texas has a larger population than New York. Texas has a bigger current outbreak than New York. But New York is doing more testing. 

Texas has a positivity rate of 24%.

New York has a positivity rate of 1%.

Texas has 7200 people hospitalized with Covid. New York has 540.

Texas has had 40,733 (known!) new cases of Covid in the last 7 days. New York has had 3800.

Now I have Trump supporting family members arguing with me in my brain.

They're loudly declaring that New York has had close to 30,000 deaths and it's all the fault of the awful Democratic governor and mayor.

Texas has had only 8700 deaths.

What I would say to them is let's not boast about our low death numbers until this is all over.

Although that being said....the same goes for New York.

Things are much better there now.

But I'm starting to understand there are no definite successes or uplifting finales in this Covid story.  What's going well today can be a whole different story in the near future.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Ben Isn't Dead

I've come to expect tragic things to happen to Australian TV characters. And usually it comes in the form of motor vehicle related.

Really. Australian TV people need to just stop driving. Cars need to be outlawed. Anything with wheels, really.

So...some days ago, I saw Ben (Brian Vriends) get injured when some awful teens threw rocks into his ambulance.

I expected him to die.

To my surprise, he didn't.

And his CAT scan came out clear! Miracle of miracles.

Then....in the episode I watched today,  Ben suddenly went unconscious while driving the ambulance. It turns out his brain was slowly bleeding.

I thought about how of course, they couldn't give the poor guy a break.

And they couldn't give me a break.

Now I have something to add to my things to be paranoid about.  If someone bumps their head, gets a CAT scan, and is fine for weeks....I still have to worry that they have a slow growing brain bleed.

Shit.

But....

Maybe I won't worry so much.

Because Ben survived!

Towards the end of the episode, his partner (Conrad Coleby) and his girlfriend Bron (Libby Tanner) stand at his bed chatting cheerfully away. Ben looks out of it. I was thinking, okay. Here we go. He may be alive, but he's severely brain damaged. Or he has amnesia with a drastic personality change.

A personality change would be tragic when it comes to Ben, because he has a really great personality.

But anyway...to my pleasant surprise, Ben started talking. He seems fine.

Now what I'm worried about is a McLeod's Daughter type situation.  In that, Tess (Bridie Carter) had a major breast cancer scare. She ended up being okay. And then her sister (Lisa Chappell) died in a terrible, terrifying accident. 

The lesson that show taught me is to NEVER be overly relieved and/or happy about a negative test result. 

Ben doesn't have a brother or sister that I know of. But I'm expecting that now something awful will happen to Bron.  

Shot in the Tuchus

Yesterday I had another case of The Last Ship and The Twilight Zone synchronocity. 

In one of the last three episodes of season 2 of The Last Ship, Tex (John Pyper-Ferguson) gets shot in the butt.

Later at night, Tim and I watched The Twilight Zone. We watched the time traveling episode "The Last Flight".  In this, Lt. Decker (Kenneth Haigh) talks about how his flying corp partner Mackaye (Robert Warwick) has the nickname Leadbottom, because he was once shot in the butt. 

It's not like it's common for me to encounter stories with people being shot in the ass. To see it in one day seems like quite a coincidence.

Is the universe trying to send me a message?

Probably.

Will I ever figure out what that message is?

Probably not.

So....

I think I may be over my strong aversion to even-the-idea-of hugging people.  In The Last Ship (spoilers in the next paragraph, so skip if you're planning to watch the show).....

They create a vaccine/cure for the virus that is spread contagiously rather than by injection. Well, some people get an injection; then they spread it to others by NOT practicing social distancing. The catch is, the people are only cure-contagious for a few days, and they can only be injected with the contagiousness once.  It's a one shot deal. So they need to get close and personal with as many people as they can. There's a scene of a crowd of people shaking hands, hugging, and sharing water with strangers. Instead of making me cringe or terrified, it made me very emotional. 

In other TV news.....

After finishing season 2 of The Last Ship, I used Random.org to pick my next show.  It's season 3 of the Canadian version of McLeod's Daughters—Heartland.  It's been a long time since I've watched that show. I hope I'm on the right season. I know I watched season 1 and 2. I'm pretty sure I haven't yet watched season 3.  If I have, hopefully I'll recognize that fact quickly, so I can get to the right season sooner rather than later.

First, though, I'm going to finish watching season 4 of All Saints. I've been watching that here and there for the last couple months.

Tim and I have put Doctor Who on hold. Before my excuse was that I was getting attached to The Twilight Zone.  But now I'm less attached, and I saw that season 5 of Fear the Walking Dead is available on Hulu. So we're going to watch that...after we finish season 1 of The Twilight Zone.

I don't think I'm in the right place to watch Doctor Who.

With Jack going off to college, I feel I'm need something that's going to NOT cause me even more emotional ups and downs.  When we watched it a few years ago, I felt like I was on such a roller coaster: I love this Doctor. I'm going to hate the next one. I don't even think I'm going to watch it anymore. Oh never mind. I love this doctor. I'm so glad they switched. But crap, he's going to leave too. And I KNOW I won't like the next one.....

And then there's the companions. I think it took me two or three seasons to get over Rose (Billie Piper) being gone. 

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

Travis Van Winkle Looks Familar

Yesterday I had another one of my useless psychic moments.

I was watching an episode of The Last Ship when suddenly Travis Van Winkle looked very familar to me.

Well, he SHOULD look familar to me, because he's one of the stars of the show, and I'm already on season 2.

But no.

I suddenly got this idea that he was on another show I've watched. I had a vague feeling it was Hart of Dixie. 

So...I went to check.

And guess what.

He WAS on Hart of Dixie.

Except he doesn't come on until the middle of season 2.

I've seen only season 1.

And I don't think I've watched any previews or behind the scenes stuff regarding season 2. I don't think I've even watched behind the scenes stuff for season 1. 

Anyway, I tend to have these moments.

It seems pretty psychic. But also...very pointless.

I think the most logical explanation is a multi-verse type of thing...one in which worlds sometimes bleed into each other. So Dina in another one of the worlds has already seen season 2 of Hart of Dixie. Her memories bled into my brain, and that's why I had that recognition feeling.

The other explanation is that IMDb made a mistake and that Travis Van Winkle actually did appear in season 1. But I doubt it, because his character's last name is Breeland. I definitely remember the Breeland family, but I don't remember his character (Jonah Breeland). Though it is possible, I've just forgotten. 

Hopelessnes

Today I was thinking that there are two types of hopelessness.

In the first, we really want something. We long for it. We wish for it. No matter how unlikely it is, we're at least a tiny bit optimistic that it could happen.

But then something happens to turn our optimism into pessimism or realism.

In the second, we go into a state of blah. We realize we don't have anything we really want. We try to imagine our past wishes coming true. And when we imagine it...it's kind of like...well, who cares. That doesn't sound so great after all.

I've personally had both feelings before. I guess most people have. Probably.

What are the solutions?

I think with the first, we grieve over the loss and then wait for something new to excite us.

In the second, we wait to lose that feeling of blah. And in the meantime, we do that whole thing of taking one day at a time. I think it also helps to find small things to enjoy. Like a good book or TV show...trying to finish a video game. Stuff like that.

Yasmeen Calls Geoff from Prison

This morning I watched a very satisfying scene on Coronation Street.  I think a lot of viewers have been waiting for it for a long time.

Yasmeen (Shelley King) finally and firmly comes to terms with the fact that her husband Geoff (Ian Bartholomew) is abusive and that she's been a victim of his abuse.

She's entertained the idea before. A few people have tried to tell her that Geoff is a horrible person. On multiple occasions, Yasmeen's granddaughter Ayla (Sair Khan) has tried to get Yasmeen to see the light. A few times, Yasmeen had started opening up the idea. But she would shut it down, believing Geoff's victimhood narrative of Alya always being out to get him.  

One of the number one tricks in an abuser's playbook is to get his victim and bystanders to believe that HE himself is the one who is abused.  

But no more.

Hopefully.

What finally turns the tide for Yasmeen is a visit from one of Geoff's exes. She visits Yasmeen in prison and reveals that she went through the same abuse Yasmeen went through. Yasmeen isn't at all receptive. She stands by her man. The visiter takes it in stride and simply suggests that Yasmeen go to the prison library and read about coercive control.

Yasmeen must have found a very well-written and convincing book. Because that book manages to do what Ayla and the prison visiter couldn't do.

Anyway, I wanted to write down the dialogue between Geoff and Yasmeen.  Because it's brilliant and satisfying. And I'll probably comment on it as I transcribe.

Geoff: Hello?

Yasmeen: Hi Geoff!

She's cheerful even though she has wickedness up her sleeve. 

Playing mind games with people isn't a nice thing to do. But playing mind games with an abuser? That has to be excused....and maybe even enjoyed.

Geoff: Boy am I glad you called. You're on the naughty phone?

Naughty phone refers to the phone being a prison cell phone—contraband.

Now if Geoff wasn't an abuser, I think he'd just be making a silly, private joke. But since he IS an abuser, I think his little comment is a dig at Yasmeen. He says it lightheartedly, but it's an attempt at reminding her that SHE is naughty. Obedient, well behaved women don't deserve to be abused. But naughty women who use no-no phones?  That's a different story. 

Yasmeen: Yes, I probably shouldn't stay long.

She's still being quite pleasant.

Now I think all this pleasantness might be partly revenge mind games. But mostly, I think the writers are playing games with the viewer. We're led to believe that Yasmeen is still hooked by Geoff. I think this is so we're more surprised when the phone call goes the other way.

Yasmeen-How are you doing?

Geoff: How do you think I'm doing? I'm lost without you. I feel like my right arm is being cut off. And my left.

That would be maybe romantic if it wasn't coming from an abuser.

But with abusers, when they say stuff like that, it's either love bombing or hoovering.  Love bombing is what abusers do to first reel in their victim. Hoovering is what abusers do to their victims when their victims start walking away.

Geoff: And someone's feeding me mashed up rubbish to keep me alive.

This is in reference to Geoff's son recently being kind enough to bring over a meal to Geoff. 

I wonder if this would be a trigger for Yasmeen. Because part of Geoff's abuse was hating on Yasmeen's cooking, severely limiting how much she was able to buy at the grocery store, killing her favorite hen and feeding it to Yasmeen.....

Yasmeen: It's not a barrel of laughs here either.

Geoff: Well, I'm sure. But at least you know I'm doing all that I can to get you back home. How lucky are you. 

He doesn't show any sign of interest in what Yasmeen is actually going through. A narcissist rarely cares. The important thing to them is what THEY'RE doing to fix things. Narcissists may lack emotional empathy, but they love playing hero. And they thrive on getting credit for it.  

 

Yasmeen: I'm the luckiest woman alive.

I think this is where I knew Yasmeen had some tricks up her sleeve; not just because of her ridiculous hyperbole but also because of her tone...which is hard to describe.

Geoff: It's a nightmare isn't it.

Yasmeen: What is? 

Geoff: Trials. Tribulations. This whole thing is.....

Yasmeen: Heartbreaking?

Geoff: Massively inconvenient for me. 

I would call this...maybe de-hoovering?

I think what happens is an abuser becomes bored with the hoovering, They get bored playing Mr. Nice Guy. So they start throwing in little digs.

Geoff verbally abused Yasmeen; threatened her with a knife. Out of despair and fear, she attacked him and is now in prison. And to Geoff, it's all just inconvenient.

Well, re-listening to that line.

It's not just a dig...as in a basic insult.

It's also a guilt trip. It's manipulative.

It's a reminder to Yasmeen that her presence in Geoff's life is a burden.

Yasmeen: Is it?

Geoff: Oh no. I didn't mean that to sound self-centered. It's just...How can I put this? It almost feels like I'm the one in the spotlight. Unassuming Mr. Cellophane me.

Poor, Poor Geoff.

It REALLY gets to me when people like him play victim.  I hate the whole mask of I'm-such-a-gentle-innocent-person-what-kind-of-monster-would-want-to-hurt-me?

Yasmeen-You know, I'll be home...soon.  By your side. Just you and me. Dream Team. 

Geoff: You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. 

Yasmeen: I sometimes wonder why I was put on this planet. And the only reason I can come up with is—

Geoff: To make me happy?

It's pretty ugly and self-centered to imagine that someone else on the planet exists solely for our happiness. But it's even worse when that happiness tends to come from the sadistic satisfaction of causing psychological and/or physical suffering.

Geoff: I love you so much.

Silence....

Geoff: And this is where you say it back to me, Dear?

More silence.

Not awkward. But cold....

Geoff: Yasmeen? Are you still there?  Yas?!

Yasmeen: Oh shut up, Geoff.

Yay, Jasmine!

Hearing that was so good for my soul.

I'm kind of re-thinking things.

I thought Yasmeen was playing mind games in the beginning of the conversation; that the book had fully converted her, and she was just waiting to strike.

But maybe what really happened is the book made her think and question. Maybe she was still on the fence but no longer ignorant about emotional, manipulative abuse. Maybe Yasmeen needed to talk to Geoff one more time to get confirmation on the fact that he was what her granddaughter, Geoff's ex, and the book had been trying to tell her.

Yasmeen: I had a visit today.

Geoff: Oh. That's nice. Or wasn't it?

Yasmeen: Illuminating.

Geoff: Was it a traveling torch salesman?

It took me a second to get that. I thought it was some kind of subtle insult. But now I see that it was just a corny joke in response to Yasmeens "illuminating".  Geoff prides himself on being a harmless, dopey, caring man who likes to make corny jokes. That's the persona he tries (and often succeeds in) trying to project.

Yasmeen: You always think you're so funny. Don't you?

Geoff: Yeah.

Yasmeen: When in reality, you are as funny as a car crash.

Geoff: Who was it Yasmeen?

Yasmeen: I had a visit from a woman who said.

Geoff: Said what?

Yasmeen: She said she knew you. Said she'd been in a relationship with you.

Geoff: Who?

Yasmeen: And that you controlled and abused her the same way you did me.

Geoff: I asked you who it was?  

This kind of reminds me of Jonathan Swan asking Trump about the mystery people that Trump kept bringing up in the conversation. But Swan's questions actually have merit. He's like saying...if you're going to vaguely bring up people who agree with your outlandish shit, you need to back it up with specifics.

In contrast, Geoff is demanding to know who, so he can either potentially harm the whistleblower OR try to manipulate Yasmeen into believing the whistleblower is untrustworthy. 

Geoff: You can't bandy those accusations around. On an illegal phone I might add.  Without telling me who you're actually talking about.

Yes. He brings up the illegal phone again.

Let's remind Yasmeen that she does bad things. 

I love how Yasmeen replies (below)

Yasmeen: Well you should know who it is. Shouldn't you? 

Geoff: Should I?

Yasmeen: Unless she's one of many. Like me. A list as long as your arm.

Geoff: You're unbelievable.

Abusive people will rarely give up attempting to get their victim to believe that the victim is the one that's problematic.  

Yasmeen: You lied to me. Didn't you? 

Geoff: About what?

Yasmeen: About those exes. And how they treated you.

Yeah. Okay. I didn't give the full story above. Geoff doesn't paint himself just as the harmless, dopey, caring man who makes corny jokes. He's also the harmless, dopey, caring, silly man who suffered abuse from his exes. Poor, Poor Geoff.

Yasmeen: How they bullied you. Belittled you. Made you feel worthless. 

Geoff: You really are quite something. Aren't you. 

Yasmeen: I believed you. And all the time, you were projecting. 

Geoff: I thought you loved me.

Yasmeen: I did.

I am so thankful she spoke in the past tense.

Yasmeen: In fact. Dear Reader. I married him.

Geoff: And yet you'll believe some random woman's word over mine.

Yasmeen: Correct!

Now I think Geoff's fighting words WOULD have merit if they were in the pre-abuse stage. If a person comes up to us and tells us our darling partner abused them, how do we know that person is telling the truth?  How do we know that it wasn't our partner that was abused and now their ex is trying to further abuse them by turning their new partner against them?  

I'm not saying we should reject warnings. But we should listen to them with an open-mind. We shouldn't dismiss them but nor should we take them as gospel.

If we've already experienced the same abuse, though? That's a totally different story. If we're already seeing it for ourselves...yes, we should definitely believe it.

Geoff: So I was right. Or...Or was I? 

Yasmeen: What are you on about now?

Geoff: No, no, no. I was wrong. Because you're actually more stupid than I thought you were.

The hoovering is officially over.

Yasmeen: You manipulated me. And I fell for it. But I shan't again.  I will never...EVER go back to you again. And even if I'm found guilty, it will be a good result. Because I shan't ever have to go to bed with you.

Yeah. I think the prison of Weatherfield is a much better place to be than at home with Geoff.

Geoff is the real prison.

Yasmeen: And if I'm not guilty, then the same.

Geoff: Well, if that's the way you want to play it. 

Yasmeen: It is.

Geoff: Your choice, bitch.

Yasmeen: Oh. How charming.

Geoff: But just remember this. 

Yasmeen: What?

Geoff: Get used to the view from your window. Because you're going to be in that prison for a very long time! 

The conversation loses a lot written down on my blog.

The actors definitely add a huge bunch to it.

Let me see...if the scene has been uploaded to YouTube.  

Well, in looking for that, I just noticed that I've been spelling Yasmeen's name wrong this whole time. I'm hoping that isn't the case for past posts. But I'm afraid it probably is. 

I'm going to go through and try to change most of those. 

Okay, did that.

I feel better now.

And apologies to Yasmeen for messing up her name so many times. If it's not bad enough, she's had to deal with Geoff. It's like I've been throwing more salt into her wounds. 

The good news is, Coronation Street has uploaded the scene to YouTube. It's much better to see and hear it than just read it. 

Well...I just started watching. Unfortunately, it's not the whole conversation. It skips the pleasantries in the beginning and begins with I had a visit today....

Read my novel: The Dead are Online