More Journal Stuff.
Note: The blue is what was printed in the journal and the green is what I wrote (in 1996, probably)
The most influential adults during my adolescence were-Stephen King, my teachers at Hillsboro High School. Steven Spielberg.
So I was greatly influenced by the Stevens. Though the teachers at my high school were not named Stephen/Steven At least as far as I can remember.
What I learned from them-Stephen King made me want to be a writer. Steven Spielberg made me want to be a filmmaker, and the teachers made me want to be both the filmmaker and writer and a teacher.
Huh? I don't remember wanting to be a teacher back when I was in high school.
Important friends-Jennifer K, Olga L, Marni S, Jennifer L.
I became most interested in-CF, the supernatural, writing, death, having a boyfriend, going to college.
Yeah. That seems about right.
And began to think about-Was everyone having sex but me?
I remember feeling that everyone else was MUCH more sexually experienced than me.
I'm guessing these days teens can go to various online message boards and be reassured that they're not alone regarding the things that make them feel like freaks. Although then there's the risk that once they open up, they'll be viciously attacked for thinking and/or behaving outside the norm. But...hopefully on balance, they'll find more support and companionship than hatred.
The role school played in my life-I hated it. High school, at least. Well Hillsboro was nice, but the North Springs experience was not.
Yet recently I had been confused when I went back and read my high school diaries, BECAUSE it seemed as if I had been fairly happy at North Springs.
I can't figure out if I had been in denial while in high school or if something later clouded and soured my high school memories.
Actually...you know what. I think it's a combination of both things.
I think I had a fairly bad time in high school but lied to myself and imagined things were better than I wanted to admit. Then as years passed, I warped the bad memories into even worse memories.
Other important activities-CF camp, all the CF stuff.
Experiences that began to shape me-Seeing Alex the Life of a Child, the ouija board, having mono, the death of Jason M, reading the Spoof of Amityville Horror in Cracked Magazine, Dawn's accident.
I remembered and understood all those references EXCEPT for the Amityville Horror one. I was sitting here thinking, what????
But now I think I know.
I think what happened is I read the satire, and then that night had a dream that inspired me to write a short story. After that, I wrote more short stories; then started writing novels and screenplays. So I think the story in Cracked Magazine is what sparked my whole writing thing.
As for the other things, I feel I should explain them all. But I've already done so multiple times in this blog. If by some chance, someone is curious, they can do a search thingie.
Was I happy? No, definitely not. I was a miserable child. It is a complete miracle that I did not commit suicide. Yes, there were happy moments but they are overshadowed by the bad.
Yikes.
I'm thinking I was upset when I filled out that page, and that the present was clouding the past.
That's not to say there isn't truth to what I wrote. I was horribly miserable at times.
I feel my childhood is full of contradiction.
In some ways, I feel I had a very idyllic childhood—especially the Madison, Wisconsin years. Sometimes I can go on and on about the trivial, wonderful aspects about my childhood. But between all the good stuff, there was also some emotionally traumatic stuff.
I guess, in a way, it's like my life now. There are things that are really bothering me and stressing me out. Yet I'm still having an enjoyable day—eating donuts, watching my TV shows, reading a fantastic book, spending time with my husband, son, and cats, etc.
Note: The blue is what was printed in the journal and the green is what I wrote (in 1996, probably)
The most influential adults during my adolescence were-Stephen King, my teachers at Hillsboro High School. Steven Spielberg.
So I was greatly influenced by the Stevens. Though the teachers at my high school were not named Stephen/Steven At least as far as I can remember.
What I learned from them-Stephen King made me want to be a writer. Steven Spielberg made me want to be a filmmaker, and the teachers made me want to be both the filmmaker and writer and a teacher.
Huh? I don't remember wanting to be a teacher back when I was in high school.
Important friends-Jennifer K, Olga L, Marni S, Jennifer L.
I became most interested in-CF, the supernatural, writing, death, having a boyfriend, going to college.
Yeah. That seems about right.
And began to think about-Was everyone having sex but me?
I remember feeling that everyone else was MUCH more sexually experienced than me.
I'm guessing these days teens can go to various online message boards and be reassured that they're not alone regarding the things that make them feel like freaks. Although then there's the risk that once they open up, they'll be viciously attacked for thinking and/or behaving outside the norm. But...hopefully on balance, they'll find more support and companionship than hatred.
The role school played in my life-I hated it. High school, at least. Well Hillsboro was nice, but the North Springs experience was not.
Yet recently I had been confused when I went back and read my high school diaries, BECAUSE it seemed as if I had been fairly happy at North Springs.
I can't figure out if I had been in denial while in high school or if something later clouded and soured my high school memories.
Actually...you know what. I think it's a combination of both things.
I think I had a fairly bad time in high school but lied to myself and imagined things were better than I wanted to admit. Then as years passed, I warped the bad memories into even worse memories.
Other important activities-CF camp, all the CF stuff.
Experiences that began to shape me-Seeing Alex the Life of a Child, the ouija board, having mono, the death of Jason M, reading the Spoof of Amityville Horror in Cracked Magazine, Dawn's accident.
I remembered and understood all those references EXCEPT for the Amityville Horror one. I was sitting here thinking, what????
But now I think I know.
I think what happened is I read the satire, and then that night had a dream that inspired me to write a short story. After that, I wrote more short stories; then started writing novels and screenplays. So I think the story in Cracked Magazine is what sparked my whole writing thing.
As for the other things, I feel I should explain them all. But I've already done so multiple times in this blog. If by some chance, someone is curious, they can do a search thingie.
Was I happy? No, definitely not. I was a miserable child. It is a complete miracle that I did not commit suicide. Yes, there were happy moments but they are overshadowed by the bad.
Yikes.
I'm thinking I was upset when I filled out that page, and that the present was clouding the past.
That's not to say there isn't truth to what I wrote. I was horribly miserable at times.
I feel my childhood is full of contradiction.
In some ways, I feel I had a very idyllic childhood—especially the Madison, Wisconsin years. Sometimes I can go on and on about the trivial, wonderful aspects about my childhood. But between all the good stuff, there was also some emotionally traumatic stuff.
I guess, in a way, it's like my life now. There are things that are really bothering me and stressing me out. Yet I'm still having an enjoyable day—eating donuts, watching my TV shows, reading a fantastic book, spending time with my husband, son, and cats, etc.
Read my novel: The Dead are Online
