This page is about parents, which for me, is very timely.
Or untimely.
I'm not sure.
Well, I tend to believe things happen for a reason.
I actually read the page a few days ago. Then I took the journal and stuffed it in a drawer, planning to quit the whole flowery journal project.
But I took it out of the drawer because I feel obligated to finish what I've started.
Why?
Maybe because I'm anal.
Or maybe because I need to come to terms with my past self and contradictions.
Anyway as I've said before...the blue is what's printed in the journal and the green is how I responded to the questions.
Leaving home made me realize-I missed my family.
I think this here might be the key for understanding why I end up writing the stuff below.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it can make you homesick.
My own responsibilities now permit me to see that-Being a mom is a lot of work and that almost all mothers and daughters hate each other at some point. It's a wonderful relationship but there is a lot of friction (2001)
Jack was born in 2001. I'm wondering if I wrote the above as a mother or as a mother-to-be.
I don't remember, after Jack was born, having that feeling of, Now I get it! Now I understand what my parents had to endure. I should have cut them more slack.
Part of that lack of feeling might have been because I was dealing with a baby, and I don't have many memories of my parents taking care of a baby. I have no memories of them taking care of me. I was four when my (flowery journal) sister was born. I have vague memories of that time period but not many memories of my parents doing their parenting.
I do remember my sister having to be tube-fed. Or I think I remember because I've seen photographs. Maybe having Jack did give me more sympathy about that?
Back to what I wrote, though. A part of me is thinking I wrote it before Jack was born and before the gender-revealing ultrasound. Because my answer was very daughter-oriented. I think if I had already been the mother of a boy or was anticipating a boy, my answer might have been different.
Things I understand now about my parents-They're very rich...very rich. But they don't fit the stereotype of being cold and money hungry. They are very loving and very generous. (2001)
I understand things VERY differently now than I did then.
This morning I was thinking about the point system in The Good Place—the one that determines whether you're going to be sent to the good place or bad place.
If I was in charge, I'd give everyone five points whenever they do someone a favor, donate to charity, give someone a gift, shows kindness to someone in need, or participates in community service.
I would give five EXTRA points if the giving was a sacrifice. And by sacrifice, I mean you're losing something substantial. So if you have a hundred dollars in your pocket; give three dollars to a homeless person; then go eat a nice dinner; that would be five points. BUT if you had ten dollars in your pocket, give a homeless person three dollars and now have to eat a much cheaper dinner than you planned; that would get you ten points.
Or if you pause your favorite TV show to talk to a sad friend, that would be five points. But If you walk out on a theater performance, that your career might depend on, so you can go and give comfort to your brother who is having a panic attack; that would be ten points.
So you do something good and you get five points or ten points.
But every time you tell someone about the good deed, you lose a point. The exception would be if your partner, or other very relevant person, needs to know. For example, let's say you let your cousin borrow a thousand dollars. If you have a relationship where you share finances with someone, they probably should be told. So I wouldn't take away points for that.
Just casually mentioning your good deed to someone will only cost you a point.
If you mention it to the person who received your good deed; that loses you all the points. And you lose double the points if you mention it to the person during a fight or when they're feeling low.
If you post about your good deed on social media; that loses you....
Well, let's say half the points.
You would not lose points for mentioning a good deed on a resume or application. Because if there's one place that bragging is needed, it's there.
BUT there's an exception to the exception. If the only reason you did the good deed was so you could have something to put on your resume or application, you get zero points for that.
What I have come to understand about my family-From meeting parents through being a preschool teacher and seeing how my coworker raises her kids, I am so thankful for the parents that I had (99)
Had? My parents were/are still alive.
I don't remember having a problem with my coworker's parenting styles.
I did think one of them was annoyingly judgey when it came to the parents of the children in our classroom. It's funny I remember that and not her parenting style.
Or was I referring to another teacher?
Seeing my mother with adult eyes-She's one of the smartest people I know. She's very passionate. She is not always the best listener, but has improved through the years. (2001)
That's one of the few things on this page in which I agree with my younger self.
Seeing my father with adult eyes-He's sensitive and vulnerable. He is very generous. At times, he does not have enough faith in people.
Well, I guess I actually agree with that too. But in a dark way. He's sensitive and vulnerable in the sense that if I call him out on something he's done to hurt me, he reacts with gaslighting and/or other manipulation techniques.
Or untimely.
I'm not sure.
Well, I tend to believe things happen for a reason.
I actually read the page a few days ago. Then I took the journal and stuffed it in a drawer, planning to quit the whole flowery journal project.
But I took it out of the drawer because I feel obligated to finish what I've started.
Why?
Maybe because I'm anal.
Or maybe because I need to come to terms with my past self and contradictions.
Anyway as I've said before...the blue is what's printed in the journal and the green is how I responded to the questions.
Leaving home made me realize-I missed my family.
I think this here might be the key for understanding why I end up writing the stuff below.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it can make you homesick.
My own responsibilities now permit me to see that-Being a mom is a lot of work and that almost all mothers and daughters hate each other at some point. It's a wonderful relationship but there is a lot of friction (2001)
Jack was born in 2001. I'm wondering if I wrote the above as a mother or as a mother-to-be.
I don't remember, after Jack was born, having that feeling of, Now I get it! Now I understand what my parents had to endure. I should have cut them more slack.
Part of that lack of feeling might have been because I was dealing with a baby, and I don't have many memories of my parents taking care of a baby. I have no memories of them taking care of me. I was four when my (flowery journal) sister was born. I have vague memories of that time period but not many memories of my parents doing their parenting.
I do remember my sister having to be tube-fed. Or I think I remember because I've seen photographs. Maybe having Jack did give me more sympathy about that?
Back to what I wrote, though. A part of me is thinking I wrote it before Jack was born and before the gender-revealing ultrasound. Because my answer was very daughter-oriented. I think if I had already been the mother of a boy or was anticipating a boy, my answer might have been different.
Things I understand now about my parents-They're very rich...very rich. But they don't fit the stereotype of being cold and money hungry. They are very loving and very generous. (2001)
I understand things VERY differently now than I did then.
This morning I was thinking about the point system in The Good Place—the one that determines whether you're going to be sent to the good place or bad place.
If I was in charge, I'd give everyone five points whenever they do someone a favor, donate to charity, give someone a gift, shows kindness to someone in need, or participates in community service.
I would give five EXTRA points if the giving was a sacrifice. And by sacrifice, I mean you're losing something substantial. So if you have a hundred dollars in your pocket; give three dollars to a homeless person; then go eat a nice dinner; that would be five points. BUT if you had ten dollars in your pocket, give a homeless person three dollars and now have to eat a much cheaper dinner than you planned; that would get you ten points.
Or if you pause your favorite TV show to talk to a sad friend, that would be five points. But If you walk out on a theater performance, that your career might depend on, so you can go and give comfort to your brother who is having a panic attack; that would be ten points.
So you do something good and you get five points or ten points.
But every time you tell someone about the good deed, you lose a point. The exception would be if your partner, or other very relevant person, needs to know. For example, let's say you let your cousin borrow a thousand dollars. If you have a relationship where you share finances with someone, they probably should be told. So I wouldn't take away points for that.
Just casually mentioning your good deed to someone will only cost you a point.
If you mention it to the person who received your good deed; that loses you all the points. And you lose double the points if you mention it to the person during a fight or when they're feeling low.
If you post about your good deed on social media; that loses you....
Well, let's say half the points.
You would not lose points for mentioning a good deed on a resume or application. Because if there's one place that bragging is needed, it's there.
BUT there's an exception to the exception. If the only reason you did the good deed was so you could have something to put on your resume or application, you get zero points for that.
What I have come to understand about my family-From meeting parents through being a preschool teacher and seeing how my coworker raises her kids, I am so thankful for the parents that I had (99)
Had? My parents were/are still alive.
I don't remember having a problem with my coworker's parenting styles.
I did think one of them was annoyingly judgey when it came to the parents of the children in our classroom. It's funny I remember that and not her parenting style.
Or was I referring to another teacher?
Seeing my mother with adult eyes-She's one of the smartest people I know. She's very passionate. She is not always the best listener, but has improved through the years. (2001)
That's one of the few things on this page in which I agree with my younger self.
Seeing my father with adult eyes-He's sensitive and vulnerable. He is very generous. At times, he does not have enough faith in people.
Well, I guess I actually agree with that too. But in a dark way. He's sensitive and vulnerable in the sense that if I call him out on something he's done to hurt me, he reacts with gaslighting and/or other manipulation techniques.
