Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Disappointing Vampires, Sharks, Stealing Children, and Thin Wizards

1. Loved this quote from Isobelle Carmody's Alyzon Whitestarr.   Da told me sadly that there were a lot of voters who wanted the refugees sent back to their own countries.  "They don't want to imagine how it is for a refugee, because thinking about people who are poor or frightened makes them feel unhappy and guilty at how uncomfortable and safe their own lives are".

I think there's so much truth to that.  And I love that the asylum seeker issue has come into the book.   I don't know if Carmody is simply trying to make a political statement, or if it's a big part of the plot.  

The book continues to be fantastic.

2. Watched the first episode of True Blood.  Anna Paquin is still totally hot; so it's kind of worth watching just for that.  But I like the books much better.

I don't like this whole thing with evil Bill.  Although Tim says he's probably not really evil. The trailer is edited to trick us.

I hope he's right.

3. Asked Lord Wiki to help me remember the True Blood books.  I skimmed through the plot synopsis.  And yeah. I like the books much better, except for the second season and the second book.   In that case I prefer the show a little more; mainly because of the differences in the Godric storyline. 

We watched the recap of season three, and barely any of it made me nostalgic or excited. I think the show went down hill for me in the last moments of the season finale of season 2—when Jason (the Australian with a southern accent) shot Eggs.

I did like the vampire-interrupting-the-news scene in season three. That's about it.  

4. Realized my feelings here are very much like my feelings during the Nip/Tuck days.  I stopped liking it after season two, but felt obligated to keep watching.  I'd watch it, stop watching; then would watch it again. I would see other people online still liking it; and it made me feel like a failure.

I guess I felt disloyal.

What is it?  If you're a fan of a show, you need to stick with it....even if it turns to crap?

At least I have the books this time. It's not like I could fall back on Nip/Tuck novels. 

I did have the soundtrack.  That was nice.   

5. Read article about tourist being abandoned at the Great Barrier Reef. Scary!

It's happened before, and they made a movie about it.

Fortunately, this recently lost tourist had a happy ending. It's not the happiest ending for the guy who messed up on the head count. He got fired...understandably.   

6. Had to look at a list of shark movies to help me remember the title of the abandoned tourist movie.  It was Open Water.  
 
7. Wondered why they changed the location of the movie. Why didn't it take place in the Great Barrier Reef like the real story?

Did Tourism Australia put pressure on them?

I bet they also tried to put an end to this ad.

8. Decided that if I ever go on some Barrier Reef dive, I'm going to call a family member and say, If you don't hear from me in two hours, call the American Embassy or something.   

9. Can't stop talking in a southern accent.  That's the other problem with me watching True Blood.   Although it's kind of fun...until I look in the mirror and remember I'm not as cute as Sookie Stackhouse.

 When I watch True Blood, I have the southern accent.  When I watch Offspring, I get the Australian accent.  I should watch them in the same day. Then I might get some cool southern American/Australian hybrid thing.

10. Went to bed and had dreams.  In one dream, My family gets caught up in an asylum seeker incident..  We're at the wrong place at a weird time. We end up having to go into this circular glass-enclosed flying vehicle with others, as professionals use the vehicle to search for an escaped asylum seeker.  I'm kind of excited to be part of the action, at first.  Then I start to realize this might go on for hours.   What if we need to use the toilet?

It doesn't last too long and soon we're back on the ground.  I regret not taking photos.  I find a nearby thing that people are standing next to and having their picture taken. I decide to join them and take pictures here too.

I'm ashamed of my dream self for giving very little worry to the actual asylum seeker. I was very apathetic and superficial in that dream. 

In the other dream, I'm in the Taronga Zoo parking lot.  I'm waiting for a cab. There's one in front of me with a girl already in it. The driver asks where I'm going, indicating that he can take me back too.  I say "the city", but then realize that might not make sense.  Isn't the zoo part of the city too?  I say "the CBD", hoping that's better information.    

The dream seems very trivial and meaningless except for the fact that the parking lot reminded me of the Epcot parking lot. And that reminds me of the time we were waiting for the Disney bus, and I saw a girl wearing a t-shirt.   The t-shirt said something that was very meaningful to me, especially on that particular day. I took it as a spiritual-type message.  

11. Looked through The Fireplace.  It's a role-player support website created by the brilliant person who created Tallygarunga.  I think it would be fantastic for anyone who loves role-playing.

12. Read article that says the Cattle Council has pledged to give five million dollars to help the cattle farmers.

I don't know anything about the Cattle Council, but they seem better than Meat and Livestock Australia. Meat and Livestock Australia is refusing to give money.

13. Looked at the website for the Cattle Council of Australia.  From what I can see, it sort of reminds me of The Fireplace.  The Fireplace brings together people around the world who have their own role-playing sites; plus people participating in role-playing sites. The Cattle Council brings together people around Australia who are involved in other cattle organizations.

14. Started to read a point/counter-point feature about gay marriage. First there's the writer who's pro-gay marriage. Then there's the writer who's against it.    

I agree with the first one, of course.  But the second one is more interesting.  It's interesting because it's so full of hate and ignorance. It's like one of those gruesome things you know you shouldn't look at; but you can't help but want to do it anyway.  

David Van Gend says, Yes, it is discrimination to prohibit the "marriage" of two men, but it is just and necessary discrimination, because the only alternative is the far worse act of discrimination against children brought artificially into the world by such men, compelled to live their whole lives without a mother.  


Children need a loving parent; preferably two. Even better if you get a loving aunt, uncle or grandparent in the mix.  But why hell does the parent need a vagina? What does a vagina do for the child once it has passed through it?

Breasts are very beneficial for breastfeeding, but many moms choose not to breastfeed; so it's kind of a mute point.

And are most gay fathers getting babies by doing something medical?  I would think most gay fathers are adopting.   Maybe I'm wrong?  So I'm guessing it's better to be raised by the state...be parentless rather than have two dads?

There's more ignorant statements from Van Gend.   He says, His analogy with racism is false because a black person cannot stop being black, but a gay person can certainly stop being gay, as a large number of formerly gay men and women around the world have demonstrated.

No.  You can't stop being homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual.  You CAN suppress your natural feelings; and you can embrace feelings that you previously repressed.   

What's really sick is that David Van Gend compares gay parenting to the Stolen Generations. Why?  Because in both cases, children are deprived of a mother.

Oh no! I've been so ignorant.

I never realized that gay people were going into straight people's houses and stealing their children.   I better hide Jack!

If you want to do an analogy about the Stolen Generation, how about this?  Anti-gay parenting people are similar to those who supported stealing Aboriginal children from their families.  Why?  Both groups believed a certain type of people aren't fit for raising children in our society. Believing two fathers can't raise a child as well as a mother and a father is the same as believing black people can't raise their children as well as white people.  

15. Had some strange thoughts about eating animals. I think I understand something now; but at the same time I don't understand. It's all so mysterious.

This is the thing.  I don't have any particular love for cows.  I don't think they're that cute.   To me, they're a bit blah.  But even though I don't find them endearing, I don't think it's right for them to live a life full of pain and discomfort.  So I don't eat them; and I'm trying to eat less of their milk.  

Meanwhile, my dad loves cows.  There's a ranch near our lake house, and my dad was thrilled when the owner gave us an open invitation.  Come visit our cows anytime!  My dad is all over himself with joy and excitement when he visits the cows. Then later at dinner it's not unusual to see him eating a cow.  

I was bemused at the irony of the situation.  I don't care about cows, but I try to abstain from contributing towards their harm.  My dad loves cows, but doesn't think twice about eating a big cheeseburger.

Okay.  But now I'm in the same boat.   I LOVE beetles. I think they're beautiful and adorable.   To me, they're so damn cute.  Then the other day, I learned from the fear-mongering Jamie Oliver that certain foods are made from beetle bits.  He was trying to make us disgusted, angry, and terrified about the whole thing.  Instead I was fascinated and excited.   I ended up going through out pantry, trying to find candy with beetles.  All I could find were sprinkles.   They have confectioners glaze, which is made from the secretions of a beetle.  Instead of being grossed out by the whole thing, I'm loving it.   Tim made super yummy eggless donuts; some are covered in chocolate and some have sprinkles.  I call the sprinkle ones...the beetle-juice ones.  I ate one last night.  Okay.  I confess. I also ate a chocolate one.   I was a bit over-indulgent.

Then a few minutes ago, Jack found a beetle in our foyer. I cooed over it, and gave it a little pat or two.  He was so cute.

Anyway.  That's my story. I'm not sure how to interpret it. We can love something; and at the same time want to eat it?

16. Wanted to add that I do feel a bit conflicted about eating the beetles.

I AM more in support of eating insects than mammals, fish, and birds.  Since they're so small, it would be easier to raise them without impacting the environment.   I'm also thinking (hoping) that because of their size they feel less pain when killed.  That's probably wishful thinking.

I do eat honey though, and some vegans say bees are harmed through the process.   Beetle-juice is probably not any worse than that.  And from what I read, it seems the people collect the secretions from trees.  It happens naturally; and then it's collected.  But living beetles might be killed in the process.  I'm not sure. Then there's another beetle ingredient used as a red food dye.   It's made up of crushed beetles.  I'm guessing they're murdered. That's sort of sad.  

17. Found this website which says insects don't really feel pain.  I hope they're right. What I hate seeing is an insect struggling. Maybe this is worse than them being killed?

I hate seeing a cockroach on its back with it's legs going very fast.  I hated seeing the dragonfly struggling to fly. I hate seeing a bee in the pool, trying to get out.

One there was this beetle at the lake house.  He was on his back, with his legs going all fast.   I kept pushing him back over.  He'd walk a bit, then fall again.   I knew I couldn't keep doing that over and over.  I left him over night.   In the morning he was dead. I regretted that I didn't take him inside the house to let him die there. It was hot outside. Was the heat uncomfortable for him?

Maybe the thing about insects is with some types it's easy to kill them very quickly.  And if they die quickly, they're less likely to suffer.  I sometimes kill ants in our kitchen by pouring boiling water over them. They die immediately.  Hopefully, they die before they feel the pain.  

18. Saw that the Australian dollar jumped back up again. It's now equal to 1.065 American dollars.

That's not too bad.  

19. Had deep thoughts from reading these lines in Alyzon Whitestarr.
 
My da would have had a lot to say about people who had other people as servants, but there was a leafy smell that flowed between the old lady and all her staff that seemed to indicate affection and mutual respect.  Certainly nobody smelled of resentment or envy or even of irritation. It was a good lesson not to generalize principles.  

If someone can afford to get help around the house, why is this bad?  And if it is bad, how is it worse than getting help outside the house?

I know people who criticize parents for hiring nannies.   It's wrong to pay someone else to watch your children.   That's YOUR job.   But then why isn't it equally wrong to send your child to daycare or any school?  Isn't it the same thing—letting someone else take care of your child?  I think if people are against nannies, they should be equally against daycare and school.

The same can be said for personal chefs. If someone doesn't like to cook and they can hire a chef; I think that's great. Is it any worse than going to a restaurant and having someone cook for you, and other people serve you?  

20. Went to Tallygarunga.  Today, I'm going to continue reading This Is Not A Party.   Although it really IS a party. It's taking place in the Spencer Common room, and has a lot of characters participating.

Miriel Henry, from Flinders house, comes across the party. She seems a bit weary. I'm not sure why.  Does she not like parties in general; or does she need to avoid distraction at this point?  

She does seem a bit nervous and timid.

Miri cautiously walked through the barely lit hallway, not liking the feel to it one bit. She had left the Great Hall just a few moments before and planned to retire to her dorm for the night when she was captured by the spooky atmosphere of the hallway. Having spent many nights in the forest, Miri wasn't afraid of the dark or even the slightly damp smell that seemed to live down here. She didn't like the feeling, though, that the ceiling was going to collapse on her at any minute and the old wooden walls didn't reassure her of her personal safety. It seemed like a haunted corridor in an old mansion and she quickened her steps to get out of there a bit faster. 

Miriel didn't escape the party.  Forrester Smith grabbed her and forced her to join.   


Forrester grabs Arti too.  This could mean her time in the hotel room with Reade has ended.   I think maybe sometimes stories happen simultaneously. Time is sometimes weird in the role-playing world.  It confuses me a bit; but I'm slowly getting used to it.  

Now the headmaster has joined the party.  That's cute.

21. Learned that Miriel is half-elf.  Interesting.....

22. Felt bad for Lyvon Paradis.  He ate a vomit jellybean.

23. Felt so sad for Améa.  She's a very lonely and angry girl.  

She's annoyed by the party; the noise.  Yet she still tries to get into the Spencer common room.

The room rejects her.  It won't let her in.  

Améa knew there were very few (if any at all) students who thought in any way kindly of her, it wasn't a surprise that she wouldn't be invited to their parties. The lack of surprise didn't make it hurt less, though. Still, it was proof. No one wanted her around. Even those that said they did... it was only a matter of time before they changed their minds too.

I have felt this way at times.  There have been days where I've felt no one likes me; or at best they're indifferent to me.  I felt that way my bad night in Sydney. I got it into my head that people tolerated me only for the fact that Tim came with the package.


24. Decided to read the biography of Forrester Smith.   I don't think I've read it yet.   His role player is Nihel.   I recognize that name because he or she is in the chatroom a lot.  OR at least it seems that way.   I do quickly lurk whenever I visit; although I don't often say much.  Well, I guess that's the definition of lurking.

25. Interrupted by a surprise gift from Tim.   He bought me a book we had seen in New York.   It's called I Feel Relatively Neutral about New York.   It's hilarious; and I totally agree with what they say about Strand Books.   I complained about the store. Then I read about it in the book and was delighted to see them saying the same thing that I said. Yes, there's a lot of books, but many of them are so high up.   You can't reach them.  It's silly.  

26. Went back to reading about Forrester.  His Patronus is a crocodile. That fits very well with Australia.

Forrester was born in Ireland. He's in year 7; and he's in Sturt house.

27. Saw that Forrester is five foot five; and weighs 113 pounds.  That seems very thin to me.  

28. Looked at a BMI calculator.  Forrester would be in the normal weight range.   He's not underweight.  Still...I think he'd be quite slender.

29.  Saw that weight is important to Forrester.  He watches his calorie intake, and exercises a lot.   He likes having the sculpted body; even if it means he's small. 

30. Learned that Forrester was in a gang.  He has a lot of scars from that.  

He smokes.   That might be one of the reasons he's thin.    I saw this article today.   It says a study has shown that nonsmoking people are more likely to be obese.   This is especially true if they're in low-income groups.   Should we start handing out cigarettes to teens in hope it will prevent them from getting fat?    Well...maybe not.   The article says, Prof Johan Mackenbach from the Erasmus Medical Centre in Rotterdam welcomed the study but added: "It is important not to forget that smoking is a much stronger risk factor for mortality than most other risk factors, including obesity."

But really.  Wouldn't it be funny if we're moaning about this obesity crisis—blaming sedentary lifestyles, junk food commercials, bad parenting, etc. And all this time, the anti-smoking crusade is to blame?  

31. Learned that Forrester is not always very nice.  He's a bit bad.

He has a twin brother.  He's less bad with his brother. They get alone well.

32. Learned that Forrester doesn't like chickens.

He does like smoking, drinking, violence, and sex.

33. Learned that Forrester has post-traumatic stress disorder; and he has a phobia of adult males.

I'm guessing he was abused.  

He's also obsessed with his weight.   I'm thinking eating disorder.    I was wondering about that from something mentioned in his physical description.  As for clothing Forrester prefers to keep “hidden” thus wears layers despite Australias heat.  I remember reading that some people with eating disorders will wear baggy clothes. They want to be thin, and then they want to hide their thinness.

 34. Learned that Forrester's mother is Australian.   When she was a teen, she was sent to Ireland to live with her grandparents.  There she married Daniel—in an arranged marriage, I believe.  Or maybe not.

She returned to Australia later for a visit and got pregnant with another man's child.  I was confused by this at first.   In fear of Daniel finding out, Grace was shipped back quickly. Her months stay turned into just a few weeks so he never found out.    I thought they meant they didn't want Daniel to find out Grace was pregnant.  But then why send her back to Ireland?   Why not keep her in Australia?   Then I realized that it probably means they wanted to keep Daniel from finding out the baby wasn't his.  

35. Did not get much information about Forrester's childhood.   The profile says it will be continued.   I don't know what happened to make him a bad boy. I'm assuming some of it is simply the way he was born.   Then on top of that, he was probably abused by an adult male. That would give a reasonable explanation of why he's afraid of adult men.

Although sometimes phobias can come about for no apparent reason.   

36. Had a thought about Forrester's need to be thin.  If he has an eating disorder, it would probably be related to his dislike of adult males.   I think eating disorders are more common in females because most of us want to be small and delicate.  I think men usually want to be big—but muscular, not fat.   That being said; even though eating disorders are more common in females; they do happen sometimes with boy and men.  It's not incredibly rare.

I remember reading that sometimes eating disorders are related to teenagers not wanting to develop adult bodies.   

37. Found article about men and eating disorders.  It says a study by Harvard showed that 25% of people with Anorexia or Bulimia are men.  

I like this quote from Cynthia Bulik, a director of an eating disorder center. Genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger.  I agree with that. When I'm with my extended family, the environment pulls the trigger quite frequently.  But I've learned to fight it.

Bulik also says But one of the problems I see for male eating disorder patients is just being taken seriously.  
 
I'm female, and I wasn't taken seriously.  I didn't lose enough weight.  I became underweight, but not underweight enough.  But there's debate over whether I had an eating disorder or not.  What I saw was myself overcoming an eating disorder.  Other people saw it as a woman gaining the willpower to stick to a brave regime of calorie-counting and abundant exercising.  Despite the fact that I have tried and tried to connect with my parents on this issue, they still say stuff that makes me realize I have not reached them at all.   I had a whole dinner-long conversation with my mom about my supposed-eating disorder.   This came after a huge tearful fight in which she told me I never had an eating disorder; eating disordered people are in the hospital with IV's stuck in their arms.

My mom apologized and took me out to dinner so we could talk about it.    I talked to her about how it's a struggle not to return to old habits; that sometimes I want my weight to go back into the nineties  She acted understanding.  But I think my words went in one ear, and out the other.    A few weeks ago, she announced to all of us at the table (including me) that she heard very low calorie diets help people live longer.  Yeah. I won't argue that there might be SOME scientific/health merit to that...for some people.  But it's really not healthy for someone like me to hear it.

Yes, sometimes when I'm in a sick state of mind I have a strong desire to go back to the extreme dieting.  I want to do it out of revenge.   I want to get super thin and make my parents regret not taking my problems seriously.  But then I remember that I won't bother them by becoming very thin.   I'll make them very happy. They love and admire thinness. They wouldn't be worried or bothered unless I was thin enough to be hospitalized or dead.

38. Decided I should try to be fair.   If I want to believe that Aspergers and mild Autism is a personality-type rather than a disorder; it's only fair that I accept some people see extreme measures to achieve thinness as an admirable trait rather than a disorder.  Why not?

I see my case as a disorder simply because although I was much more attractive; the dieting caused problems in my life.  I was SO obsessed with food.  I thought about it constantly. I went alone to NYC just so I could eat and eat.  Now when I think about traveling alone just to go on an eating holiday, it seems pathetic to me.  But then other people might think, There's nothing wrong with being a dedicated foodie! 

I became very neurotic.  My calorie-count was actually NOT dangerously low for most of the dieting period.  It was 1200 calories for most of the time; although at one point I changed it to 800.    But I became overly militant.  I would weigh an apple before eating it.  I was kind enough to allow myself to go under my daily limit; but not over.  I would exercise pretty much all day.   I put on a pedometer and paced the house.  I dreaded social occasions because it meant I'd either have to look weird with my constant pacing or I'd have to take a few hours off of exercising.  The latter was difficult because I had strict eating rules. I had to walk a certain amount of steps before eating anything.

Usually I'd walk around 8-15 miles. So although 1200 calories isn't too low; it's probably too low for someone walking that much.  The reason I went down to 800 calories (or maybe it was 900?) was that Jack broke his arm.  I figured I needed to cut down on exercising so I could spend more time with him.  

I took breaks from the diet—like when we went on holiday.  Then I'd go crazy and eat a ridiculous amount of calories.  Within a short 3-4 day holiday, I'd gain ten pounds. And this was with tons of walking.   My metabolism was so out of whack.  Then again, what's tons of walking when you walk 8-15 miles on a regular basis?

When we went to NYC a few weeks ago, I gained no weight from the trip.  I left at 133 pounds and came back at 133 pounds.  We walked a lot, but less than what we used to walk.  We ate a lot. We definitely indulged; but nothing like we did during my dieting days. But mostly....I think my metabolism is healthy again.

I may not be skinny enough to please certain people; but I like my life better now.   I feel more balanced.   I like this life in which I don't weigh my food.   I like weighing myself once a day instead of multiple times a day.  I'm glad that I stopped drinking laxative tea.  It didn't work well, first of all.   And I didn't much like the taste.  I like that these days my favorite part about going on a holiday is being with Jack and Tim....and seeing fun things.  What I used to love most about holidays was taking a break from my diet and gorging myself with food.  

I still love exercising, but I'm glad I don't feel the need to do it all day. Otherwise, how would I write in my blog?

Maybe I didn't overcome an eating disorder. But I think I DID overcome...something.  

This something might be the type of life that other people might enjoy.  But I don't.  So, I'm glad it's gone.

39. Started to read chapter fourteen of Fruitcake's blog.   It's called "The Blackfella's Eureka".   

The whitefella's Eureka happened on the goldfields; Ballarat, I believe.

40. Googled the Eureka Stockade to make sure I was right about it being in Ballarat. 

41. Read more of Fruitcake's chapter.  The Aboriginal Eureka was a strike that happened after World War II.  But it began taking shape during the war.   Aboriginal Australians on cattle stations learned there were Aboriginal Australians working alongside white men; and they were being paid regularly and reliably.    

I guess the first step in taking action for yourself is realizing other people are not treated as bad.

42. Learned from Fruitcake that some people believed the strike was a communist plot.  Why?   A white person involved with the whole thing had once been involved with the Communist Party.    That's reasonable.   So if I ever get involved with any cause, people can believe it's a Jewish plot.   I'm Jewish, and I used to be active with the synagogue.

42. Learned that the strike is the longest strike in Australia's history.  It lasted 3 years, and involved 800 workers.  On some levels, I guess that's good.   It's definitely a sign of perseverance.   But if the station owners were more compassionate and less stubborn, the strike wouldn't have had to last so long.

I guess that's the thing about any people fighting for their rights.  It's very admirable and inspiring; yet it's also sad that certain things don't simply happen on their own.

I love how people have fought and won gay marriage rights in New York.  But it would have been nice if it had never been an issue in the first place.  What if it was simply natural for people to be tolerant, fair, and compassionate?  

43. Learned from The Australian Dictionary of Biography that I have another writer as my Australian of the day.  Her name was Mary Eliza Fullerton.  

She was born in 1868 in Glenmaggie Victoria.  I don't think I've heard of that. 

44. Found Glenmaggie on Google Maps.  It's in eastern Victoria, and doesn't look close to Melbourne. 

45. Checked the distance of GlenMaggie from Melbourne. It's closer than I thought.  Glenmaggie is two hours east of Melbourne.  

46. Learned that Mary received some education from her mother, and some from the state school.

She loved to read. 

When she finished with school, she worked on the farm and also kept reading.

She was shy, but managed to become involved with the women's suffrage movement. 

She sometimes used the pen name Alpenstock.  Why?  I don't know. 

47. Learned from this online dictionary that an alpenstock is A long staff with an iron point, used by mountain climbers.  That could have some nice symbolism.  Maybe Mary saw herself as someone who helped other people achieve their goals.

48. Learned that Mary became friends with Miles Franklin.   

She never won the Miles Franklin award, but she did write some novels.   The Australian Dictionary of Biography says, While her novels have little lasting merit, some of her poems, and certainly her Bark house days (a book of verse), deserve a place in Australian literature.   I'm guessing this means it's probably hard to find her books in print.   

49. Loved this part from Alyzon Whitestarr.   I think there is this country made up of all the dreams people have when they sleep, and it's constantly changing and reshaping as people wake or dream something different.   Then further down, So if you were lucid dreaming, you could visit a bit of that country formed by other people's dreams.  

In my lucid dreams, I often head towards a place I call Dream City. I like to imagine it's a real place where spirits and other dreamers hang out. The thing that makes me doubt my fantasy is true is that the setting is not very consistent.  The place changes.  That's the first time I've considered the idea of Dream City being made up of other people's dreams. 

It would be neat if it were some type of collectively-created setting. 

It's probably not true; but it's fun to imagine the possibilities. 

50. Listened to another song from the email with lots of recommended songs.   It's the Herd singing I Was Only 19.   The singer/rapper reminds me of one of the voices in the GetUp sorry video. I wonder if it's him. 

51. Started to watch the GetUp sorry video so I can find the guy I'm talking about. His part begins at :27.

Maybe I should just watch the other video to see if it looks like the same guy.

52. Listened.....

Now it sounds less similar. 

I don't know what I was thinking......

But I'm glad I gave myself an excuse to watch the GetUp video.  

There's another rapper at 2:25.  Maybe he's part of Herd?  

Or maybe all Australian rappers sound alike to me. 

53. Listened to the original version of I Was Only 19.  It was in the email too.

I like this version better.

The song is about being a war veteran.

And can you tell me, doctor, why I stil can't get to sleep?
And night-time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me, I was only ninteen.


I guess I shouldn't expect to see those lyrics on military recruitment sites.