Things I Watched in 2023

Here is my yearly list of things I watched via various streaming platforms...and in one very rare time, at the movie theater.

Red denotes shows or movies I disliked.

Blue denotes shows I especially loved.  Though sometimes I forget the love I felt if a lot of time has passed between watching the show and making the list. The love often fades.  More recent watchings are more likely to be blue.  

Never mind that.  I'm ending that part of my tradition.  It's too hard for me to decide whether or not I simply liked a show or whether I loved it.  

I've divided the shows by location...in terms of where it was set rather than where it was filmed.

Some shows might be listed for multiple places.

If you're interested, here is my list for 2017, 2020, 2021, and 2022 list.

One big thing I almost forgot to mention is I completely changed the way I do my to-watch list.

My old way involved having a limited number of spaces for shows/movies on the list—idea being I needed to finish and cross off a movie or show before adding something new.  

Now I'm using the same method I use for my author's list. There is no limit to the number of things on the list.  And before adding to the list, I don't take time to make sure it's not already on the list. 

I'm fine with things being on the list multiple times. Sometimes I actually purposely add things multiple time, so there will be more of a chance that Random.org will choose it for me. 

I was going to list which seasons of a show I've watched, but I've decided that's going to make the list too clunky and complicated.  I might do it sometimes.

Warning: I might have things wrong about the setting of the Marvel movies we watched.  My memory is muddled.  If any particular experts want to help by correcting me, I would feel appreciative and not offended. 

AUSTRALIA

Neighbours-Having Neighbours return, and be available for me to easily watch, was one of the top best things that happened to me this year. I've been watching the current episodes and slowly making my way through the provided Classic Neighbours episodes.  

All Saints-Every few years, Random.org gifts me with another season of this show.  I feel emotionally attached.  

Deadloch- This was one of the very rare times that Tim and I watched an Australian TV show together.  I almost quit after the first episode, because I misunderstood what it was. I thought it was supposed to be a parody of shows like Broadchurch.  I was picturing like a Naked Gun/Airplane kind of thing.  So watching the first episode, it just felt really off.  Like the show had failed at what it was trying to do.  Then I realized it was more of a drama-comedy-mystery.  Or a drama-mystery with comic relief characters.  After accepting the show for what it was supposed to be, I loved it.  

DENMARK

The Bear Only one episode.  That particular episode gave me a lot of anxiety and dread, because we had plans to go on a trip to Copenhagen, and I was extremely anxious about traveling.  But it all had a happy ending. I ended up having a wonderful time on the trip 

GERMANY

All the Light We Cannot See-Wasn't interested in this when my parents highly recommended it but then became interested when I saw an actor from Dark was one of the stars. 

Unorthodox-Inspired to watch this after watching Shira Haas in Bodies.  And I had also read the book this year and liked that a lot.  

I'm hoping Disney doesn't cave to pressure and that we'll be able to see Haas in the new Captain America movie.  

ISRAEL

Fauda- Currently watching this.  I've read reviews saying it's biased against Palestinians.  From what I've seen so far, it seems much less biased than I would have expected from an Israeli TV show about the conflict. 

I think it shows Palestinians in a very sympathetic way and sometimes shows Israelis in a quite negative way.  Really...all in all, it seems fairly sympathetic towards both sides.  

A pessimistic, judgmental side of me feels some reviewers would see this show as unbiased and fair only if all the the Israelis were shown as completely evil, heartless oppressive colonizers and the Palestinians as angelic, loving, innocent victims.  

ITALY

Mrs. Davies 

A Haunting in Venice- I liked the set design but besides that...didn't really love this one. 

JAPAN

Invasion 

NETHERLANDS

Ted Lasso-I loved that episode.  Though like The Bear's travel episode, this one also gave me anxiety, because of our upcoming trip.  Unlike some people I know, I don't continue to confuse the Danish with the Dutch.  However, it still made me think of our upcoming trip, because of the canal, Europe in general, etc.  

NORWAY-

Thor: Love and Thunder I forget where else it takes place. In the Metaverse? The Multiverse? Another Planet?  

SOUTH KOREA

Uncanny Counter 

Extraordinary Attorney Woo- I tried working on Korean by rewatching one of the episodes repeatedly.  Then I got tired of it and stopped.

Burning-Critics and reviewer people seemed to like this one much more than Tim and I did.  

Business Proposal-Fictional Australians seem to die tragically from being hit by a car while walking, standing, picking up someone else's bulk trash, etc.  Koreans seem to be in danger of losing their parents as children and teens via a car accident.  This is the case for this show, Uncanny Counter, and also Sweet Home.  Are there others I've forgotten?  

I should say that I've watched a teeny tiny fraction of the Korean dramas that are out there.  There may be a more common way for fictional Koreans to die.

UNITED KINGDOM

Black Mirror 

Ted Lasso-The ending gave me a lot of sadness in the same way The Good Place gave me a lot of sadness.  I mean sadness for the same type of reason.  

Invasion

Bodies-I liked this show a lot until I read about the massive differences to the comic book.  I really need to stop trying to compare books with shows.  It messes too much with my head when there are huge changes.  Especially if the changes are enormous.  With the TV series, time travel seemed very much to be the main point of the whole story.  Then I learn that time travel didn't play a part at all in the original material.

Coronation Street-This...and now Neighbours...are my constants.  I don't rely on Random.org to pick it for me.  I try hard to watch it every day that an episode is available to me.  

THE UNITED STATES

Lucifer-I love this show to the point that I sometimes feel stupid for allowing my viewing to be ruled so much by Random.org.  It's sad to consider that it may be twenty years later before I watch season 5.  On the other hand, I think I will feel a huge loss when I finish watching the show.  So, it's kind of nice living my life knowing I still have two seasons left to watch

Nashville- Speaking of....This one took me a long time to get back to.  There were some years between my watching season two and three.  Again, though, it's nice knowing I have more seasons left to watch.

Mythic Quest 

Crown Heights

Bosch

The Peripheral-I liked the idea of this more than the result.  

Only Murders in the Building-I love this show. It brings me a very happy kind of nostalgia to see Steve Martin and Martin Short.  

Parenthood- This was a hate-like show for me.  

It was the most offensive show dealing with autism I have ever seen.  It made my blood boil. It's as if someone took the infamous Autism Speaks promotional video and said, Hey, let's turn this into a TV show. But I liked the other aspects of the show and enjoyed seeing how it actually does connect to the movie. 

Yellow Jackets- I'm not sure where the plane crashed, though. 

This is Us- I love this show...and it's another one where I worry Random.org won't ever pick again for me but at the same time am glad I still have seasons left to watch.  

The Good Doctor

The Last of Us

Law and Order- I watched just a couple of episodes while staying at my parent's house for a few nights. 

The Wire-Rewatched a portion of the first episode when staying with my parents.  They hadn't seen it before, and I had wondered if they might like it.  

Chicago Med- Another show my parents shared with me.  

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend-Rewatched a couple of episodes with my parents.  My staycation at their house  was like a TV show Show and Tell kind of thing. They liked this show more than The Wire.  To be fair, I loved The Wire, but it took me several episodes before I got into it. 

Servent-I'm impressed that this show took a very dark and depressing subject and somehow turned it into a wild, fun, addictive roller coaster.  

Spiderman: No Way Home 

Avengers: Infinity War  

Avengers: EndGame

Bodies Bodies Bodies 

Beef-This was beautiful.  I wanted...needed it to end a certain way.  And it did.  So I was very satisfied with that.  

Werewolf by Night- I think?  Or did it take place elsewhere?  I can't remember.  I Googled and couldn't easily find the answer. 

The Magicians

From- I became somewhat obsessed with this show.  I love it but at the same time I worry it borrows from the worst qualities of Lost (which I love, love, love while at the same time recognizing its flaws) 

Mrs. Davies

13 Reasons Why 

The Brady Bunch- I added a lot of nostalgic stuff to my list...and old stuff I haven't ever watched. 

To really feel old school, I sometimes add these shows by individual seasons. Because in the past, we just watched things as they came along via syndication.  We didn't start with episode 1.  So with The Brady Bunch, I ended up with season 4.  The one with the Hawaii adventure.

The Wilds-I'm not sure where the island is supposed to be.  I forget.  Though I Googled and saw it was filmed in New Zealand.  

I watched this after watching the first season of Yellow Jackets and declared that I preferred it much more to Yellow Jackets.  But then we watched season two of Yellow Jackets and...well now it's about even.

Mario Bros

The Bear

Black Mirror

Invasion

The Afterparty-Tim and I enjoyed this one a lot.  The premise is a lot of fun and well-executed.  

What We Do in the Shadows- I like the storyline about Guillermo's new development 

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- I liked this show but much less than Tim does.  But I watched only the first season.  Maybe if I watch more seasons, it will grow on me more.  

Ratched-I liked this, but I I have problems with sympathetic character who we know are doomed to become villains. I had the same feelings about Bates Motel.

A Knock at the Cabin

Haunted Mansion- I liked this much more than I expected to.  

Totally Killer

The Blackening

Renfield

Loki 

American Horror Story: Hotel- Tim often rewatches shows that I haven't seen yet.  This was one of the rare times that I rewatched a show that he hadn't seen yet.  

Upload 

Leave the World Behind

Unorthodox-

Barbie-We watched this a few nights ago, and I loved, loved, loved, loved, loved it.

The Fall of the House of Usher-This is what we're currently watching.  So far, neither Tim nor I are loving it.  But hopefully we will grow to like it as we get further in.  

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special-(eta) Tim and I watched this one Christmas Eve.  We both loved the songs and are wanting to listen to more music from the heroic Kevin Bacon and Old 97's.

 I had some confusion—some annoyed-confusion—over whether we were dealing with A) A Kevin Bacon from a universe in which The Avengers and other Marvel characters are real people known for saving the world B) A universe where The Avengers exist as fictional characters.  C)A universe in which Marvel Characters exist but are unknown by regular people.  

Kevin Bacon's initial reaction gave me the sense that it was the third option which didn't sit well with me.  BUT...thinking about it...even if we lived in a world where people with super human abilities existed and are known of by the general public, it wouldn't mean these people would be commonplace.  And if some unusual beings came to our door, we might assume they were people in costume.  

Party Down (eta) The existence of this show scares me, because it has quite a few well-known actors and seems fairly well-liked.  Yet I've never heard of it.  

And I'm someone who spends a lot of time on IMDb.  

No, I don't think something supernatural is going on.  It's just...for me...evidence...that there's way too much content out there.  It's impossible to keep up.  That would be okay...except I have major FOMO when it comes to TV shows.  

The Other Two (eta)

LOCATION UNKNOWN 

The Menu-I found aspects of this offensive but also found it somewhat interesting and entertaining.  

From

NOT EARTH 

The 100 - Watched season 2.  It had been a long time since I watched season 2, so it took me awhile to get into it and to care about the characters again.  But once I did, I enjoyed it.  

Avengers: Endgame

Solo: A Star Wars Story 

Foundation-Tim offered to rewatch with me, because he liked it a lot.  I was unable to get into it, I dropped out.

Black Mirror-

The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special 

MULTIVERSE

(I struggled labeling this, because technically speaking all fiction happens in not-our-universe

Spiderman: No Way Home 

Avengers: Infinity War (I think?  I kind of forget, actually) 

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse-I would have probably liked this more if I had seen the first movie, before going to the theater to watch this. Speaking of, I think this was actually the one time that Tim and I saw a movie at an actual theater this year.  Jack had invited us to go.  I think movie-going has become something we do only when it offers us a chance to go on a field trip with our child. 

Loki

MYSTICAL PLACE 

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever- I liked the ending with the song much more than I liked the rest of the movie. 

House of Dragon-Tim and I had to really struggle to get ourselves to like this. We managed to sort of like it by the end but not enough to want to watch any future seasons of it.  

I can imagine that for huge fans of the Westeros universe, the show might have been satisfying.  But for me, it didn't ease my longing for Game of Thrones.  It just made me feel confused and frustrated.  The characters are just too distant from the GOT characters.

It's like...would a show about the great-great-great-great-great grandparents of Monica and Ross satisfy people who miss watching Friends?

Thor Raganok 

The Magicians 

Mario Bros 

Dungeons and Dragons-This movie does a good job of being accessible to those of us who never played the game.

Lost-I totally forgot I watched this (season 3) until looking at my records.  Which is strange, because I'm actually playing around with writing a novel about a fan of Lost. 

By playing around I mean I'm doing research, taking notes, creating character and family bios, etc. with no huge desire to actually write the novel.  

I'm having fun with the journey, though.  If I think about it as a waste of time, I tell myself it's similar to playing Minecraft or Sims.  It's just about having fun with my imagination and my love of researching.  

Yes, I'd rather have a finished product, and I'd want that finished product to be read and liked by others.  But if it's not read and if I don't even write it...that's all okay too.  

Thor: Love and Thunder-I'm struggling here, trying to remember if it would also fit into the multiverse.  Maybe all The Avengers movies do?  

The Santa Clauses- See? Tim Allen was not fired from Disney for not being Woke enough or too white. I've never actually seen the movies.  But I liked the show. A little bit.  It was corny but enjoyable.

ONLINE

The Peripheral 

Upload 

MULTIPLE LOCATIONS

How to be a Tyrant-One of the few documentaries I watched 

Lost-

Invasion

Behind the Attraction-Another documentary.  We watched only...I think two episodes?  I liked it at first but then I felt it got old after awhile. It was probably less about the subject matter and more about the format?   

Well....

That's it for now.  I will probably add shows/movies that I watch in the last few weeks.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

TV Shows and Movies I Watched in 2022

Here's a list of what I watched in 2022...well in terms of movies and scripted TV shows.  I'm not including all the YouTube and Instagram videos...or the many videos my family shares via text. I also don't count the shows that I get a glimpse of when I go into the kitchen and Tim is watching something.  Although if I sit down to watch; then I count it.

Shows and movies are divided by geography—settling location not necessarily the filming location. I put some shows in multiple places if applicable.  

Blue font means I especially loved the show or movie.  Though lack of blue doesn't mean a lack of love...at the time. Sometimes I will love a show when I see it but then later my enthusiasm fades. I'm going to try, though, to remember my initial love for a show.

Red font means I didn't like it.

Orange font is for shows that I watched a little bit of when I had control of the remote control during MY 50th Birthday Disney trip.  I was so excited to have control of the TV and do the old fashioned thing of flipping through channels.  I decided if I sat down to watch at least 5-10 minutes of something (before flipping to the next thing), I was going to count it.  

There are certain shows in which I sort of lie about location because of spoiler issues. I'm not going to specify which shows, because that in itself would be a spoiler.  It's kind of like when people tell you there's a twist at the end of the movie and just knowing there is a twist ends up being a sort of spoiler.  

Also....I started writing this a few weeks before posting.  It gets a bit confusing, because things are a bit out of order.  Most of the stuff I watched in the past throughout the year.  But other shows, I watched in the midst of working on the post.  Because this post is ordered by geography rather than time-of-watching, with the more recent watchings, there's a Doctor-River Song sort of vibe.       

For anyone interested: Here's my 2017, 2020, and 2021 list.  

CANADA

Turning Red

The Handmaid's Tale 

Trevor Noah-I Wish You Would

COLUMBIA

Encanto

EGYPT

Moon Knight 

GREECE

Glass Oven: A Knives out Mystery

IRELAND

Belfast-Didn't remember to add this until January 5.  I had forgotten to add it to my Google Docs where I write down everything I watch.  I can't remember how I thought of it.  But then I went through texts to find the conversation with my parents inviting me over to watch.  Hopefully, I didn't miss any other movies or TV shows    

ITALY

The White Lotus-What we're currently watching.  It will probably be our 2022-2023 bridge show.  

JAPAN

Mushishi-I was bored.

KOREA

Train to Busan-Koreans are very good at horror.

Dr. Brain

Miss Granny 

All of Us Are Dead-I loved this and was disappointed that we didn't see any trick or treaters dressed as the students.

The Call-Very scary. I realized while watching that it was a scary version of The Lake House. And then with some Googling, I learned the Lake House is actually a remake of a Korean movie.

Seoul Station

Extraordinary Attorney Woo

SOUTH AFRICA

Chappie-I actually more-listened to this than watched.  I used the Netflix narration.  I enjoyed the experience.  

UNITED KINGDOM

Coronation Street

Ted Lasso-This is one of those shows where I also even liked the odd low-rated-on-IMDb episode.

Afterlife-I like this show.  BUT it could have done without the transphobic joke. I also found it annoying that the deceased wife was shown as being so overly perfect.   

Green Wing-It took quite awhile for this to grow on me.  But by the last episode of season one, I was okay with it. 

Cold Feet-The more seasons I watch of this, the more emotionally attached I get.  

Moon Knight-I think this was the first show we watched on our new big screen in the theater/media room.  

Doctor Who-Two years ago, I was very much into Jodie Whitaker as the doctor...like crush level.  Now as I plan to get back to the show I feel nothing.  I'm just eager for the 14th Doctor.  Though by the time I reach the end of the season, I'll probably be back in love with the 13th Doctor and heartbroken that she's leaving.  BUT...I'm excited for Millie Gibson as a companion. I had sat on our backyard bench crying with relief when I realized I misunderstood spoilers and that Kelly Neelan was not going to fall gruesomely to her death; she was just moving away from the street. Then to find out, the Tardis was picking her up? What wonderful news.  I'm eager to see her adventures with the Doctor.  I'm also hopeful that one day Kelly Neelan will return to Coronation Street.  

The Sandman - I love it but it took me several episodes to get to that point. 

I was confused and bothered by the show not seeming to be in the same universe as Lucifer. I wish they were more connected.  Or that we, at least, had answers to explain away the differences.  Why are Cain and Abel together in dream realm in The Sandman but in Lucifer Cain has supposedly been walking the earth for many many years?  Why does Lucifer have a human face in hell in The Sandman? Why wouldn't he be using his demonic face?

Thinking...From what I know, Lucifer is a spin-off of The Sandman.  And knowing that different realms have different timelines, maybe in The Sandman, Cain and Able are in a before-period.  And God punishing Cain comes after their time in the dreaming realms?  Or whatever realm they're in. I'm not 100% sure it's the dreaming realm.   

I personally would have preferred that they use the same cast, director, writers, mood as Lucifer.  I mean the casts would be different, because the central characters are different.  But I would have preferred the same Lucifer, the same Cain, the same Mazikeen, etc.  (Guest appearance kind of things  Or at least have Gwendolyn Christie-Lucifer mention or show that she/he has shift-shaping abilities.

Anyway....Although I never disliked the show, my like turned to love with the Rose Walker storyline.  

 UNITED STATES 

Nine Perfect Strangers

The Power of the Dog-We saw this with my parents.  My parents and I rarely agree on anything. But we were united in thinking this movie was quite awful. Well, I wouldn't say it was awful.  I think, as a piece of art, it's great.  But I found it very unenjoyable.

American Horror Story-I'm not sure which seasons we watched this year.  Maybe "Roanoke" and "Double Feature"?  I think most of my strong-liking comes from the settings.  

Criminal Minds

Cobra Kai-We watched two seasons this year

Empire-I watched one season of this in the beginning of the year and another towards the end of the year.

What We Do in the Shadows-I still love this show, but I loved the latest season a little bit less than the other seasons.

Ozark-I can't believe the priest that helped the family in Chicago and all those foster kids on that Island turned out to be such a violent shithead.  

Schitt's Creek-LOVED this show and was super into it.  And then suddenly I wasn't.  It's nothing about the show itself.  I think it's personal issues really.  I was going to tie my fading love to trauma.  But you know, I think what really happened is I got really into using headphones and am almost constantly listening to TV shows, audiobooks, podcasts.  Prior to that, while I did kitchen chores, I had this whole thing of re-watching Schitt's Creek.  But then I stopped.  And well, actually...part of that was because of climate-trauma and moving.  But mostly...I think it was the headphones. In my quest to re-watch...I left off at the second to last episode.  I think it's kind of this unfinished business for me. I feel uneasy about the whole thing.  

Scandal-This show keeps getting better and better.  The more outrageous it gets, the more I like it.

Orange is the New Black-Watched the first season.  Hope Random.org picks more seasons for me...someday.

Succession-One of my ChatGPT adventures was asking the AI to write a pitch for a crossover TV show between this one and Empire.  

 Upload

West Side Story-I tried watching this with Tim, thinking I was being supportive.  Because the original is one of his favorite movies.  I didn't like it...and I don't think he was as into watching the remake as I expected. 

The Last Man on Earth-This is such a fun show. 

Greenleaf

Stranger Things-I greatly enjoyed this but then all the Holocaust stuff kind of put a damper on things.  Still. It's a fun show.

Outer Range-We watched the whole season.  By the end, I had sort of warmed to it.  But looking back, I feel cold towards it.   

Brooklyn 99

Flight Attendant 

The Shining Girls

Shameless-I was less into the 2nd season than the 1st.  But I still liked it.  

Community 

 The Handmaid's Tale-Well...it sort of (partly) takes place in the United States.  Location-wise.  

Complete Unknown-I had to Google this movie to remind myself what it was. I now can remember it. BUT I have no idea of whether I liked it, disliked it or loved it.  I should check to see if I rated it on IMDb.  That might help.

Severance- This show is SO SO SO good.

Nope-This was one of those things where I didn't like something UNTIL talking to other people and reading about it...and thinking about it.  My initial feeling was that I liked it much less than Get Out and Us.  But later...well, I still prefer Us and maybe Get Out,  But now, I also like Nope.

Heredity-Super creepy.  I didn't like the message the movie (intentionally/unintentionally) sends about mental health and people with neurological differences. Well, I want to say more but it would be total spoilers.  I think what I'll do is write something at the way bottom of this post...  I didn't like the movie, because I found it offensive.  But I did like the movie, because it was so creepy. Although the creepiness scared me which I find unpleasant.  At the same time, the fact that it scared me impressed me.  

Station Eleven-This miniseries is so beautiful.  Although not exactly in its entirety. Some of the episodes were amazing. Others were mediocre.  I think Tim and I both preferred the flashback episodes.  It's a great story about stories, and it replies to the assholes who think writers, artists, actors, filmmakers, musicians are not doing important work or were a waste of space during the pandemic. 

 I became obsessed with one of the trailers—watching it repeatedly and memorizing the lines.  I like to recite it sometimes.  ALSO...the miniseries is part of what inspired me to work on turning bits of my blog and my novel into a book-book instead of just an online thing. 

The whole miniseries revolves around a graphic novel written by a woman who makes only a few copies before a pandemic kills most of the population.  It made me think of how my writing is very unpopular now.  But there's a chance it could be super popular during the apocalypse when there's less reading material out there.  Or it might not be popular, but it might be special to one or two survivors.  And that would be nice.  I mean...so sad about the apocalypse.  Of course!

The Bear-I probably would have liked this more if I didn't watch it while addicted to the color-water sorting game.  My heart and mine were more into the game. That being said...I still liked the show.  

Chasing Life

The Lost City 

Invasion of the Body Snatchers-I'm pretty sure this was the first time I watched the entire movie.  I think we watched bits and pieces during my childhood. It was scarier than I expected. It makes me want to watch more horror movies of the 1960's, 1970's, and early 1980's.  

Poltergeist-Wrote a whole post about this one.

Bosch-It's nice to see a universe where Sophia survives and grows up...well reaches her teen years, at least. 

Modern Family-The last two seasons.  Our family enthusiastically watched the first three or four seasons; then the interest faded.  A few years ago, Tim and I got back into it and watched some of it...kind of jumped into where they were rather than going back to catch up with what we had missed.  We kind of forgot about it (or really it got buried underneath everyone else in our to-watch agenda.  Then a few months ago, Tim started watching the whole series from the beginning. I asked if he'd mind stopping at season 10, because that's where we left off.  So we watched 10 and 11 together...actually a few episodes at the end of episode 9 as well.   

Reboot

Enchanted 

Just Go With It 

The Conners-This was comforting in that I'm-not-the-only-one-aging kind of way. 

Family Guy

Charmed

Young Sheldon

Legends

The Sandman

Wednesday - I like it.  But I'm tired of seeing the dance everywhere.  In some ways, I like social media trends. It's cool seeing humanity come together to inspire and copy each other.  On the other hand, I'm realizing I much prefer original content.  I mean nothing is 100% original.  But I think I prefer the stuff that's vaguely inspired rather than seeing the same thing (with tiny variations) over and over.    

Lucifer-Just got back to watching this...I'm on season 4.  I usually love it, but it's probably going to take me a couple of episodes to get back into it.  

VARIOUS

Don't Look Up-Sometimes comedies have very sad moments.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness-This is one of those movies where I feel I should like it more, because of the subject matter.  But I don't. I didn't like Wanda turning evil.  I have a huge soft spot for bad characters turning good and find the opposite depressing.  I mean I know she also did bad things in WandaVision.  But I think all that was more understandable...and also fun.  

1899

Everything Everywhere All At Once-I liked this much more than Doctor Strange. 

NOT EARTH

Obi-Wan Kenobi For the stronger Star Wars fans like Tim and Jack...going on Rise of the Resistance was like, Oh, it's just like the movie!  For me, I watch this TV show and think Cool! I feel like I'm on the ride I love so much!  I'm really NOT into the Star Wars franchise...compared to Tim, Jack, and other people. At least when it comes to movies and shows.  Yet I've decided my favorite land of all the Disney parks is Galaxy's Edge. 

Mandalorian-I wanted to like this and expected to like this but was kind of bored.  I think we watched only one or two episodes. We would have probably watched more, so I could give it more of a chance.  But there were too many other shows we wanted to watch.  Just for the record: Tim had already watched it on his own and liked it. (I don't want inadvertently smear his Star Wars fan reputation) 

Rogue One-This one we watched recently.  I started to have certain questions about the Star Wars universe.  If this is a whole galaxy, why is there a Star Wars look?  Why does the design and landscape of so many different planets look similar?  Tim tried to explain it away with the imperialism, because I think he thought I was referring to the Vader stuff.  But no...I was referring more to the rebel and town/village sort of places.  It all very much looks like Galaxy's Edge.  However, then we saw the palm tree area...which I appreciated.  

ALSO...during the movie I started to think they should make a PRE-PRE prequel about one of the planets before they all became intergalactic. I think it would be cool to have a  (first) UFO/alien encounter movie in the Star Wars Universe. Does anyone know which planet initiated contact?  Or were there multiple planets having success simultaneously?  Googling....

And now giving up.  It looks like there is a very elaborate and long history...thousands of years.  I can't easily find anything pre-republic.

Added weeks later: I just asked ChatGPT, and it says the planet Coruscant was the first to travel through the galaxy.  Cool.  Unless they're wrong.  

Andor-Watching this now (at time of writing...this post).  I've now thought of justification for why there's a Star Wars look so prevalent throughout the entire galaxy.  It's just like how, with the Internet, on Earth we're probably starting to see and will continue to see more similarities between different countries whether it be in conspiracy theories, architecture, language, art, popular culture, etc.  

I didn't much like Andor except for the storyline involving Andy Serkis. That I loved. I told Tim that Disney should make an attraction based on these scenes. Disney guests can pay to have the chance to build equipment for the Imagineers. It would also provide more career placements for cast members who tend to be snarky/grumpy rather than cheerful and friendly.  

Lightyear- But maybe they were sometimes on Earth?  I forget.

The Midnight Club-Not bad, but I liked it less than the Haunting of Hill House, The Haunting of Bly Manor, and Midnight Mass.  It was fun seeing Heather Langenkamp.  

MYSTICAL PLACE

Schmigadoon-We watched only one episode.  I love musicals.  But I didn't like the songs. And since the songs were a big part of the show, I let Tim know I wasn't interested in continuing with it.  I don't think he was either.  Sometimes, one of us will like a show the other wants to quit; then we end up watching it alone.  OR, in my case, I put it in my long too-watch list and hope that Random.org comes through for me.    

Some shows that Tim has dropped out of that I'm waiting for Random.org to pick for me: Evil, The Walking Dead, and Doctor Who.  Good news is...my last Random.org pick was for Doctor Who.  I'm excited for that.  

Upload

Lost City-An island somewhere.  I was just trying to find out where it was supposed to take place and Google informed me it is similar to Romancing the Stone.  I vaguely remember liking that movie, but I guess I didn't remember the movie itself enough to recognize the similarities.

Westworld-I liked season four better than season three but much less than season one and two.  I was just thinking.  It's not just the loss of the main setting that bothered me. It's more Aaron Paul.  And I think Aaron Paul is wonderful.  I love him as Todd in BoJack Horseman.  I also loved him in The Path.  But in Westworld, he almost feels like a cousin Oliver. 

I think it would have been fine to add Paul to the cast. But they didn't just do that.  They made him the central character.  My heart wasn't with him.  It was almost like the creators were thinking...we can't have women robots or a Black man robot as our  main protagonist. We need a white man.    

Maleficent

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

My issue with Heredity: The daughter in the movie acts...strange, different.  She seemed kind of autistic. As an autistic person myself, I had that secret wish that in the end, it would turn out that despite her weirdness, creepiness...it would turn out she was a good person.  Instead...if you dig deep and read what the director intended, the daughter was possessed by a demon all along.  Also, with the title and other scenes, the movie seemed to imply that the whole family was believed to have mental health challenges and/or neurological differences.  Instead, it turns out...they were just involved with demonic stuff.  The movie could provide a pretty big contribution to negative mental health stigmas.    

TV Shows and Movies I watched in 2021

I think I might make this a tradition.

Speaking of, here is my 2017 list  and my 2020 list.

Oh! I didn't realize I skipped two years until just now.

Anyway...here is my list divided my geography (setting not filming).  Some stuff I'm listing twice if it took place significantly in multiple places. 

Blue font means I especially loved the show or movie.  Though lack of blue doesn't mean a lack of love...at the time.  Sometimes I will love a show when I see it but then later my enthusiasm fades.  

Red font means I didn't like it.

UNITED STATES 

Death to 2020

The Good Witch 

Cobra Kai 

The Fosters 

Shameless 

WandaVision (this show was such a home-bridge for us.  I started watching it with Jack at our old house. Then we stayed at my parents house for the Texas snow disaster and watched some of the episodes there...in their very fancy home theater.  And for the last one or two episodes, I watched with Tim in our temporary-housing-townhouse.  

Finding Oahu I hate this show, because a) I felt it didn't live up to Goonies b) They badmouthed Lost! c) This was the last thing we watched on our TV before our electricity went out in the Texas snow disaster.  

Lucifer - This is one of the first shows I watched when we moved to the townhouse.  I would watch/listen to it on my walks in the amazing, wonderful parks near us. And I think the show made the park even more magical to me.  This show helped me to realize, that my brain does these very strong association things.  I can remember certain episodes or scenes from shows and remember where in the park I was listening to that episode.

I Care a Lot - We watched this at my parent's house, but I saw only half, because it was past my bedtime.

Law and Order SVU - I just watched one episode...joined in when my parents were watching.

Golden Globes  

Nomadland 

Ozark- This was Tim's and my first official townhouse show together.  (I feel my grammar might be fucked up here but I'm too lazy to give myself a lesson and fix things).

The Vast of Night I had mixed feelings about this one but now when I think back, it gives me a kind of nostalgia feeling. 

South Park - just the pandemic episode 

Minari 

Scandal

Palm Springs

The Sound of Metal 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I watched season 3. There were two songs I could extremely relate to.  I think this show helped me with my own mental health adventures.

BoJack Horseman

Carol- 

The Queen's Gambit - Liked this more, before I read about the controversy. 

Poor Boy's Game-

The Assistant - 

Grey's Anatomy (season 2) - The Neegan scenes were so heartbreaking. 

Four Christmases- Watched second half at the lake house.  My family had watched the night before when I hadn't been there.  

Touch- that show about autism that never mentions autism.  

Split 

Unbreakable

Glass 

Black Jesus 

Last Man on Earth

Gilmore Girls - This is another show where I have a strong memory association.  I remember walking across a bridge near our townhouse while watching the scene with the school dance.

The Mindy Project

Freaky

The Final Girls-

The Making of WandaVision 

Fear the Walking Dead - Who would ever think a zombie show could jump the shark? But somehow, they managed it.  Jack had been binge-watching The Walking Dead before we started watching season 5, and a few times I told him that I might actually prefer Fear better.  That all changed after we got to the end of the season. Holy shit.  But on a positive yet somber note...I think this season achieved the most brilliant, shocking super sad zombie-caused death since Sophia.

Songbird

Invincible-

Mythic Quest-I really want to heart emoji this a ton of times. 

Pushing Daisies- I heard so many good things about this show.  But it really made me anxious. I mean really.  How many times do we accidentally touch the people we are with?  Why take that risk? I did like the setting and Kristen Chenoweth.  And I liked Ned. I might have even had a tiny twinge of a crush....until we saw Lee Pace in...

Halt and Catch Fire - This was one of a handful of shows that Tim was happily willing to rewatch, because he thought I'd like it too (Ozark and Mythic Quest were two of the others).  I grew to at-best sort of like the show.  In the end, we both decided to knock Pushing Daisies off our list, and I requested that Tim watch the rest of Halt and Catch Fire on his own (he still had a few episodes left from when he watched it alone).  I'm not redding these shows, though.  Because...yeah, I developed some kind of weird aversion to Lee Pace.  But still...there were aspects of the shows that I liked a lot. 

Coda  

Greenleaf

Hart of Dixie

Selfless

American Horror Story-We watched Apocalypse and Roanoke.  I liked both but liked the latter a little bit better. 

This is Us - I had watched season 1 and 2 with Tim.  He lost the love, so I watched this one alone.  The Vietnam storyline was SO sad.   

GirlBoss

Criminal Minds - One of the shows I'm watching now.  The show might be a bit guilty in terms of increasing stigma surrounding mental health conditions.  But still...I find it interesting and entertaining.  One funny thing is Matthew Gray Gubler looked so familar to me.  Then I remembered one of my mutual-follower-Instagram-people used to be a huge fangirl for him.  I never paid much attention to what she was fan-girling on.  I just adored her enthusiasm.  

Goliath-

The Mare of Easttown 

Everything is Going to be Okay-A show about autism written by an autistic person and starring at least two autistic actors.  Mostly funny and awkward. Sometimes touching.  I was talking to Tim in the car one day and decided to tell him about the last episode of season 1.  Oh!  I remember. We were talking about the best ways to be supportive of autistic people.  I described how the characters were so beautifully supportive in that episode but then realized also how incredibly sad the episode was.  So I'm sitting there telling him what happened, and I started sobbing.  So it was really hard for me to talk and get the story out.  And Tim's just sitting there so patiently listening.  

Now that I think of it, Tim was providing another good example of how to be supportive towards an autistic person.  

Midnight Mass- At least I think it's the United States. It was filmed in Canada... I'm not sure if it was supposed to take place in Canada or the U.S.  It kind of felt more like Canada.

What's kind of strange is we watched this and it had a particular storyline/theme that I feel I've not seen before.  Then a short time later, we watched the Korean show Hellbound, and it had a VERY similar theme/storyline.  I feel the universe might be trying to tell me something?  Or really not just me personally.  Because they're both fairly popular Netflix series.  So maybe the universe is sending a message that society, in general, needs to hear.  

The Originals - I think I was really into this series a few years ago.  But then it took Random.org a shitload of time to reunite me with the show.  I still liked it a lot...but I think some of my love faded.

White Lotus- I think this is one of those shows where the love would fade after a few months or even weeks.  But we watched it fairly recently, so it's blue for now.

Imperial Dreams

Empire- I just started watching this one today. I'm liking it so far. It reminds me a lot of Succession.  

AUSTRALIA

Rake

"Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow" - A short film I watched during my failed Charlotte Nicdao post. 

Content - I had Tim watch this with me since we both adore Charlotte Nicdao. We loved it but somehow missed the last couple of episodes.  I think we meant to watch the rest after Tim returned from out of town but we never got around to it.  I blame Tim, because he seems to have this thing about forgetting to continue a TV show he was watching and liking.  Well. Yeah. I know. I could have intervened. So I need to take some of the blame.

Now it feels kind of too late.

UK

Doctor Who (this was our 2020-2021 crossover show)

Death to 2020

Coronation Street 

Broadchurch 

The Man Who Invented Christmas 

KOREA 

Sweet Home 

Hellbound-The little red there is for the creepy CGI baby.  But besides that....very good show.  (also see: Midnight Mass above) 

VIETNAM

This is Us

CHINA

Marco Polo- I was pretty bored.  But this show was noteworthy for me, because it's the first time I used the Netflix audio-narrating.  

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings-

GILLIAD

The Handmaid's Tale

CANADA

Schitt's Creek (I loved this show so much in 2020.  I started rewatching it in 2021. My plan was to watch it on the Alexa Echo while I did kitchen chores.  But then I got into using my headphones and various audio things while doing chores. And I have been horribly slow with the rewatching.  I've been on the 11th episode of the last season for months now.  It's like I've put the Schitt family in limbo at that escape room place.  Anyway. This show used to be a blue for me, and it still deserves to be blue. It's just instead of giving me happy, warm feelings, it now makes me feel kind of neglectful.  

Note: I think there is disagreement about whether the show takes place in Canada or the US.  But I'm going to put it in Canada.  

The Handmaid's Tale

Kim's Convenience 

Being Erica

FRANCE

Things to Come - I think I liked this one more than I loved it...back when I saw it.  But now it's giving me these warm nostalgic feelings.  For some reason, it makes me feel my childhood Madison and St. Louis days. So I have to blue it.

ITALY

Luca

VARIOUS

The Last Ship (mostly Asia and South America)

Doctor Strange (although now I can't remember where....)

A Gurl's World (watched one episode when doing my failed-never-posted post on Charlotte Nicdao)

NOT EARTH

Doctor Who

NOT OUR UNIVERSE

Loki (But I guess also our universe?  I forget.  This is not blue not because it's not good but because it's not WandaVision.  After seeing WandaVision, I wanted all Marvel stuff to be WandaVision. 

Doctor Strange

This is the area of the park that I
loved most and then loved even more after I 
watched/listened to Lucifer while walking
through it.  It was the episode where Lucifer (Tom Ellis)
and Cain (Tom Welling) pretend to be a couple
in the suburban neighborhood. So...it's kind of
like I love Lucifer and I love the park. And the 
combination of the two increased my love
for both.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Wednesday Update

I finished my Turkish adventure in Duolingo and have now moved onto Latin. Latin is fantastic, because the voice actors sound like they are in some sort of angry, evil trance.  Since I associate Latin mostly with religious horror movies, it's all so perfect. 

Last night, I finished watching season 1 of Shameless. I used Random.org to pick a new show and ended up with Lucifer. I'm very excited about that. I love Lucifer.

I'm on season 3 with that. I won't get to it for awhile, though. I'll be concentrating on my other show which is The Fosters.  I have a whole system for how I balance my two solo-shows/movies. But it's hard to explain, and I'm not going to try.

It's funny, though because in my last post I brought up old posts related to The Fosters and Lucifer. And now those are both my current shows. 

I'm seeing that the website I've been using to keep up with Congress votes has finally updated.  They're a bit slow, unfortunately. They stopped at Senate vote 10 which was on January 28, and it wasn't until today that they posted Senate vote 11-13 and House votes 19-20.  It's all kind of old news for me, because The Washington Post and Twitter were all more timely. 

But still...now I can see things in more detail.  

Both Republican Senators from Indiana voted Yea for Pete Buttigieg.  That's cool...since he was the Mayor there.

Thirteen Republican Senators said Nay to Pete Buttigieg.  The same Senators keep giving Democrats a lot of no's, including Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and Marsha Blackburn. I wonder if they'll say yea to anything.

Alejandro Mayorkas as Homeland Security Secretary is more controversial than Mayor Pete.  He received only six yea's from Republicans.  

Shelley Capito, from West Virginia, is one of the GOP Senators who said yea. West Virginia has had my attention lately, because they've been doing so well with vaccine distribution. 

And here's some more bipartisanship.  Three Democrat Representatives voted with Republicans to say Nay to a bill regarding apprenticeships. 

On Coronation Street, they're doing a storyline about liver transplants. It made me think of the liver transplant storyline on Offspring. 

Daniel (Rob Mallard) is offering up his liver to his brother Peter (Chris Gascoyne). I don't agree with Daniel's actions, because he has a young baby, and the mother of the baby is deceased.

The storyline on Offspring was somewhat similar. Nina (Asher Keddie) was faced with the decision of offering up her liver, and she too was the single parent of a baby. With that situation, I was a bit more torn, because the person needing the liver was a very young child. 

Peter is an adult, and his only dependent is a young adult. The death of a parent is always sad, but I'd rather a young adult lose their parent than a baby. 

When it comes to deciding between parents losing their young child vs a baby being orphaned...that's much harder to me.

 It's not like liver transplants are 100% fatal for the donors. In fact, there's a pretty good chance the donor will survive.  The death rate is 4 out of 1000. But the chance of dreadful complications is 1.1%.  That's pretty scary.

I don't think Daniel should take the risk. But in other situations, the risk might be worth it.  

I'm still listening to Trump harass Raffensperger  I lost my place, so now I might end up missing something or re-listening a part.  I know I was somewhere around 48-50 minutes.

I'll be glad when I'm done with that.

I'm still reading Untamed Shore by Silvia Morena-Garcia, and I'm still liking it. 

Tim and I are still watching Broadchurch. Season 2 is split between two murder storylines—one that was the focus of season 1 and the other which was alluded and flashbacked to during season 1.  I'm wondering now what season 3 will be about. One of the lawyers has a son in prison. I'm wondering if season 3 will focus on his case. Or...will there be a new murder?

I think Tim suggested that the murderer of season 1 will win the court case; go free; someone will take justice into their own hands. And then season 3 will be a who-done-it in terms of the vigilante justice.  

I'm back to reading the 2014 Peru adventures in Dog Food for Chairs. I may be at the end, because the title mentions airlines. Or maybe they end up flying within Peru? Or maybe they're having pre-travel airline issues.

The answers to my questions might have been given in the previous post, and I wasn't paying enough attention. I might have been distracted by the mention of Rainbow Looms.

Right now I'm listening to the final season soundtrack of Lost. I think it's one of the best musical scores. 

Last night I dreamed about Lost...mixed with X-Files, because I was trying to get help from Scully. And also, I slit people's throats with a razor. Okay but before you judge me...it was totally in self defense. It was their razor, and they had plans to use it on me. Or...at least I think they did.  

One other thing...on the subject of Lucifer.  I was thinking of Tom Ellis the other day...not in terms of Lucifer but from when he was on the show Miranda. There's an episode where Miranda (Miranda Hart) tells her friends she's on a vacation but in reality she's just in a local hotel.  I thought of that episode because on Coronation Street, Leanne (Jane Danson) tells her family and friends that she's gone to France to visit her mother and sister, but she's secretly actually at home.

The Coronation Street storyline is much darker than the Miranda one, because Leanne is grieving the loss of her three-year-old son and is very depressed. She faked the trip to Paris to keep concerned family and friends off her back.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

God Narcissists and Demon Narcissists

I've been thinking more about my God/narcissistic parent analogy that jumped into my head when watching Lucifer.

There are various established ways to label and divide narcissists (covert, communal, grandiose etc.)  I've decided to come up with my own. It's not going to include ALL narcissists—just two types.

One would be the God-narcissist that I thought about when watching Lucifer. The second would be the demon narcissist.

The demon narcissist, unlike the God narcissist, severely lacks in power. They are powerless and pathetic. They are also disgustingly obvious....like Pazuzu spinning his head around and projectile vomiting green pea soup.

Now... I don't think enough people are educated about things like gaslighting, emotional blackmail, darvo, etc.  I think most people are unable to spot narcissism unless the self-adoration aspects are extremely obvious. So when I say obvious, I'm not necessarily talking about the narcissism of the person but instead some other trait that makes them very unappealing.

They might be too loud and boisterous.

They might be very negative.

They might be overtly racist or sexist.

They might yell a lot.

They might be overtly controlling.

They might be drug addicts.

They might be alcoholics.

They might say and do embarrassing things.

They might be criminals.

They might be in prison.

Sometimes when people come out of an abusive situation, they will say something like, Everyone kept warning me against him. None of my friends liked him. Finally. I listened.

That would be a demon narcissist.

I'm wondering. Why did they fall in love in the first place—if the narcissist was so unlikable; so lacking in charm?

Maybe they have just enough charm for the object of their affection?  Or maybe, in some cases, it's their lack of charm that's appealing.  Yeah. He's a bit rough around the edges. But he's a softie inside. You just have to understand he doesn't mean what he's saying.  

Demon narcissists are unappealing to most people. And they lack power. They usually don't have a lot of money. They probably don't have secure employment. They're not well-liked by their neighbors, coworkers, relatives, etc.

I want to stop here and make sure to clarify something.

Not all people who are drug addicts or alcoholics or financially disadvantaged or negative or friendless or... etc. are narcissists!!!!  Most of them are probably not.

But if these people are also very selfish, self-centered, and most importantly...MANIPULATIVE; then they are probably narcissists.

Anyway....

In the past few weeks, I've seen three examples, on TV shows, of demon-narcissist parents.

On Jane the Virgin, there's Magda (Priscilla Barnes), the mother of Petra (Yael Grobglas). Magda spends years manipulating her daughter, pretending to be stuck in a wheelchair so her daughter will take care of her. Later she kills a man in (maybe) self defense. Then she goes as far as framing her daughter for the murder. She makes it obvious that she does not have any love for her daughter and will hurt and use her daughter to get what she wants.

I've only finished two seasons and already Magda has gone to prison for two different violent crimes. So yeah. She's not exactly a pillar of the community.

Not only does Petra have to live life without a mother's love, but she also has to live with the embarrassment and shame of being related to a criminal.

On The Fosters, there's Anna, (Alexandra Barreto) the biological mother of Jesus (Jake T Austin) and Mariana (Cierra Rameriz).

Anna is a junkie who abandoned her twins when they were young. She later seeks them out, pretending to want a relationship with them. But then, like two minutes later, she's asking them for money.

First she gets Marianna to steal her brother's ADHD medicine and sell them at school. That's bad enough, of course. But she doesn't stop there. She tries to convince Marianna to steal expensive stuff from her adopted parent's home. She doesn't tell Marianna she needs money for drugs. She says she needs the money so she can escape from her abusive boyfriend. She manipulates Marianna by trying to get Marianna to pity her.  I can't remember exactly, but I think she also pushes the whole thing of sticking by family and helping them out. Yeah. This coming from a women who abandons her children and later uses them to get drug money.

On The Good Doctor, there's the unnamed mother (Sharon Teal) of Claire (Antonia Thomas).

Before her mother appears on the show, Claire foreshadows the appearance by telling a sob story from her childhood. She saved up money for a laptop (I think?), and then her mother stole all the money and spent it...somewhere.

Claire is very angry at her mother about this. She rightfully holds a grudge.

Then Mom comes for a surprise visit to the hospital. If I recall correctly, the mother and daughter haven't seen each other for years.  Claire is cold towards her mother at first. But then she warms up a bit, because Mom seems more loving and honest. She seems willing to change. She talks about how she now realizes she was mentally ill, and she's had treatment for that. She also shows interest in Claire's life.  It seems to Claire that her mother might have actually changed.

And then very quickly, before Claire's heart can warm up too much, her mother asks for help with the rent.

I think that might be the key trait of demon-narcissistic parents. They often need something and will manipulate their children to get it. This will usually be money or something similar—like a place to live or nursing care.

The God-narcissistic parent, in contrast, doesn't usually need anything from their children. Or at least they don't need material things. They have enough money of their own. They GIVE to their children rather than take.

They shower their children with expensive gifts.

Financially, they are very generous.

Unlike the demon-narcissist, they are not lacking in appeal. Quite the opposite...they are beautiful, charming, and well loved by many.

This is the person who not only pays for dinner but entertains everyone throughout dinner with their hilarious stories.

So, what's the problem?

Well.....

Beneath the charm and generosity, there's manipulation and an excessive need for gratitude and adoration from others.

They hate being told that they're not they wonderful beings they imagine themselves to be. If you bring up something they have done to hurt you, they will tell you it never happened. You must be imagining things. You must be remembering things wrong.  OR they'll go as far as accusing you of purposely making things up to hurt them. Jesus had Judas, and they have you.

If they don't deny, they might distract by reminding you of all the gifts they have given you. Or maybe it's more along the lines of, it's okay that I say things to hurt you sometimes, because I helped pay for your apartment.  

It's like God. We're supposed to be super duper grateful for any nice thing He does for us. We're supposed to go to our houses of worship to sing praises and bow to him. Then when He does something to us we don't like, we're supposed to just accept it as His plan.

And if we fail on all this, our fellow Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc. will try to pull us back in line.

The children of narcissist parents will hear the same things that those drifting from the faith might hear. He DOES love you!  He wants the best for you!  Think of all the good that's happened in your life. That's down to HIM!

While those dealing with a demon-narcissist will talk about how others tried to warm them against the narcissist, those dealing with a God-narcissist will likely say the opposite.  I kept telling them he's not always that great, and they don't believe me.

Or more likely, it will be in present tense. I KEEP telling them he's kind of awful sometimes, and no one believes me. Getting people to believe the narcissist is toxic rather than close-to-perfect is something they will struggle with until they die. It's a battle they shall rarely win.

The only people who are likely to take their grievances seriously are other people who have relationships with a God-narcissist. Those dealing with demon-narcissists are very unlikely to get it. What the hell are you talking about.  He GIVES you money rather than trying to steal it from you?????!!!!  How is that a problem????!!!  Plus he's SO nice and funny. You're lucky!!! I wish he was my dad!!!!

Some God-narcissists might be physically and sexually abusive. Then it will likely be a case of the victim being blatantly disbelieved. They will be seen as liars. Well....if they come forward.

I am guessing, though, that many God-narcissists are much more subtle in their cruelty.  They might do things that are hurtful to those experiencing it, but to outsiders it's funny, normal, harmless, etc.

For example, they might often use emotional invalidation.

I'm too hot. I feel sick.

Give me a break!  The weather is beautiful today.

I'm hungry.

You just ate! You can't be hungry.

I'm so depressed.

Don't be overdramatic.

She hates me.

You're imagining things.

They try to dictate emotions by saying things like Smile more or Snap out of it.

They will be controlling. They might not say, Do this. Do that. Or else!  Instead they might say. You can do that, but it's your funeral.  Or, you can do that, but I think it's really selfish of you.

I'm totally okay with it. But if you do that, it's going to really hurt your mother.

Do what you want. But you're going to be sorry.

Your sister is really hurt by what you're planning to do. 

They might get great pleasure from seeing you terrified. They might have you watch a terrifying movie or pressure you to go on the scariest ride at Disney World.  They might tease animals in front of you, because they know that bothers you. But it's all just for fun! Don't take it too seriously! They just like pushing your buttons.  OR because they're so wonderful and God like, maybe they're doing it out of benevolence...because they love you. They're trying to toughen you up! 

Like God-God, the God-narcissist will keep you on your toes.

One day, he's super nice. He's asking you questions about your life. He's showing interest. He's showing compassion. He's the one person who understands your controversial viewpoint and isn't bashing you for it.  Then another day, he's lashing out because you made the wrong comment, weren't grateful enough, or didn't come through on a favor he asked.

Like God-God, the God narcissist will sometimes display his wrath with loud anger, angry emails/texts, or a a punishment.

God will send destructive floods to one village and pleasant sunshine to another. It's the same with the God-narcissist. He will punish one child with threatening, angry, manipulative emails and then, on the same day, shower the other children with extra charm and compassion.  To one child, he will be a monster. To the other, he will be the nicest and funniest guy ever.  And so cool! He's going to take us all to see Hamilton!!!!  He's even letting us invite our friends along!

He'll even maybe take the bad one to Hamilton...because he's generous and forgiving like that. He's so wonderful.

But the bad one is thinking, I don't even want to go to Hamilton. And I don't want YOUR forgiveness. I want YOU to apologize to ME. Because that "abusive" thing you accuse me of?  It was simply me calling you out on your hurtful behavior.

Another similar thing between God and the God-narcissist is they will take credit for anything you might love about yourself.  Well, God probably doesn't actually take credit. But those who worship Him will push you to give God credit.  Like how you sing? Well thank God for giving you that voice! Happy that you got that raise? Praise God. Glad you stopped eating all that junk food and lost a hundred pounds? Well, don't have too much pride. Thank God for giving you the willpower and strength!

The God-narcissist might say things like, You got my genes! Or in anger they might blurt out something like, everything you've achieved in life comes from me pulling strings for you!  You would have accomplished nothing without me.

Well, the demon narcissist would probably say those things too.

I'm going off on a tangent about the God-narcissist and really a lot of what I said would apply to the demon narcissist as well.

The big difference between the two is that the former is seen by others, outside the dynamic, as being wonderful—charming, benevolent, and generous, while the demon-narcissist is seen as...well...yuck.

I guess what I was trying to say in all my ramblings is that the God-narcissist is probably more subtle with their toxicity. Because they need to hide it to keep their glowing reputation and their very high self-esteem.

In public, they might lash out in extremely subtle ways so to be seen as benign by bystanders. Or they will put on their super-nice mask on when in public. In private, they might be obviously awful or they might still be subtle in their awfulness.

The demon-narcissist is usually far from subtle.  In private, they are obviously awful, and in public, they are obviously awful as well. They are embarrassing.

What is worse?

Neither.

I think they're both bad.

Dealing with narcissists is always very painful and emotionally damaging.The victims of both have that in common.

The differences?

Those who have a demon-narcissist have to deal with the extra burden of embarrassment. They have the shame of being connected to the demon. I also suspect that they might be more likely be in physical and sexual danger. And financial danger as well!!

Those who have a God-narcissist have to deal with the loneliness of not being believed and/or taken seriously. They are often the black sheep and/or scapegoat in their family or social circle, and they have to deal with the pain that comes along with that.










Edited to add-5/29/19:  I thought of another name for a group of narcissists. Well, another name has already been given to them: Communal Narcissists.  But to go with my Gods and Demons, I'm going to give them the alternate name of Angel Narcissists.

Angel Narcissists get their feelings of specialness and superiority by doing good deeds. These can range from being the guy in the office who spends all his spare time planning an awesome surprise birthday party; the stranger who stays with you, to give support and comfort, after a car accident, and that friend who is on the board of seven charity organizations.

Not all giving people are Angel Narcissists. Some of them truly do care, and some do acts of goodness because it makes them feel simply decent (rather than extraordinary).

Here are my signs of someone being an Angel Narcissist rather than simply kind, caring, and charitable.

1. They spread the news of their good deeds. They often post about it on social media. You see it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. They describe their acts of kindness in group emails and group texts.

2. There is a Jekyll and Hyde quality to their behavior. To those they want to impress, they are beyond awesome. They're giving. They're kind. They're hardworking. They're self-sacrificing. They are the ones that people can count on. For those they're not interested in impressing, they can too often be lazy, grumpy, self-centered, distracted, callous and even maybe sadistic.

3. They use their good deeds as a manipulation tool against you.  You're angry at them because they said something hurtful to you? Well, they're too busy to deal with that right now ever. They have to go feed the homeless. And later, they're going to be speaking at a charity ball for abused children.

Do you have a problem? You're dealing with an eating disorder? You're depressed? You're anxious. You're upset because your boyfriend pressured you into having sex? You're worried about your biopsy results?  If you're someone that the Angel Narcissist wants to impress, he'll be your shoulder to cry on. If you're not?  He'll likely make you feel ridiculous and selfish. You're worried about a biopsy? What about people who actually have cancer?! Eating disorder? You're not that thin! Come on. Depressed? What do YOU have to be depressed about?

The giving mother has a very important charity event on the same day as her child's school play. She feels terrible about it. She apologizes over and over to her daughter. She makes sure to get the play video-taped. She watches the video with joy and excitement. She takes her daughter out on a special outing to make up for not being there.

The Angel Narcissist pushes the guilt on her daughter. You don't want Mommy missing the luncheon do you?  You don't want the sick children to die. Right? And come on...you're not even the main star of the play?  You have three lines.  Let's not make a big deal out of nothing. We didn't raise you to be selfish.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

More Narcissistic Parenting on Lucifer

I'm now watching the next episode of Lucifer—"Pops".

This one goes even further into the narcissistic parent thing, although they haven't used the term yet.  I wonder if they will?

In the episode, a chef is murdered. As Lucifer and Chloe, his detective partner (Lauren German), interview the suspects, they learn that the chef was a father-figure to his staff. But it wasn't always a happy, positive father-figure kind of thing. The chef was domineering and demanding. It was a struggle to try to please him.

Lucifer (Tom Ellis) relates to all of this a lot, because he has that type of dynamics with his own father.

The show is really into pursuing parent-child issues.

And in this episode, we also get a mother and child one.

It turns out that Chloe's mother, an actress (Rebecca De Mornay) is a narcissist as well. She's the stage mother type—pushed her daughter to be an actress and is now doing the same to her grandchild.   

When Chloe angrily protests and says her mother has no right to just barge into their home and—

Her mother interrupts and slyly reminds Chloe that Chloe doesn't own the home. She's living there rent free. Guess who's paying?

If narcissistic parents have the means, they will buy their children expensive gifts. But there are strings attached.  The strings probably won't be apparent right away. The parent might even say. No strings attached. I'm giving you this, because we love you. We WANT to be able to do this for you.  It brings us joy to be able to give to you like this.

Then later down the line, the strings will begin to show themselves. You'll learn that in exchange for the gift, you're expected to do any favors that are asked of you. If you're going to say no, you better have a good excuse.

Also in exchange for this gift, you will be expected to keep all grievances against your parents to yourself. If they offend you, keep quiet. If they have hurt you, keep quiet. If they have not been there when you needed them, keep quiet. If they did something to make you feel they don't love you enough, keep quiet. If you feel they're being unfair, keep quiet.

The gift is supposed to make up for all of that.

No. No. Not really. The narcissist can do no serious wrongs, so they wouldn't feel a need to make amends.

The gift is not about amends.  It's more of an argument against your grievances. How can you say we don't love you enough? Look at all we've given you!  What do you mean we weren't there for you? 

Now not all narcissistic parents have money. And even those who do will resort to using other tools. Sometimes it might be gaslighting. You can't be mad at me, because that never happened! It's all in your overactive imagination.  Or they'll minimize. Or they'll be insulting.  Maybe there will be a mixture of all of the above.....

When Chloe gets angry, her mother says something like, for someone who's given up on acting, you sure are dramatic.

I am betting most people with narcissistic parents grew up hearing these types of things a lot. You're so negative. You're so sensitive. You're selfish. Why do you think everything revolves around you?  You're our little drama queen. You have no sense of humor.  

In narcissistic families, there is major indoctrination. And one of the main messages is that the problem is with you, the scapegoat. 

I'm not sure about Chloe, but Lucifer is doing a pretty good job of fighting against the whole thing. He seems to have maintained his self-esteem despite his relationship with his narcissistic father. Though, like me, he's a bit obsessed.  I guess true healing occurs when you do what Christian on Lost advised. Let Go and Move on.  But I kind of think it's rare for that to happen. Unfortunately.

For better or worse, we never recover from our relationship to our parents.



For more like this: My Posts about Narcissism and other Toxicities 

The Daddy of Lucifer Morningstar

Lately I've been watching the first season of Lucifer.

I'm loving it.

And finding it a bit therapeutic. 

The show is about Lucifer (Tom Ellis) rebelling against his father, The Almighty God.

Lucifer leaves his job as the guardian of hell and comes to Los Angeles to learn about humanity.  

He has a wicked sense of humor and is vain, but he's a nice guy. He's honest. He has compassion. I like him a lot.

He's a good guy with a very bad reputation. And he has a father with a very good reputation...a reputation that Lucifer disagrees with. He tries to get other people to see his viewpoint and seems to usually fail.  Not many of the characters argue against him. They just kind of...ignore him?  They give him a blank look. They humor him.

The Devil-God relationship, on the show, reminds me a lot of narcissistic parenting. Although since we're not shown conversations between Lucifer and his father, we don't get to see any gaslighting. And personally, I feel that gaslighting is the hallmark to toxic, narcissistic parenting.  So, the analogy isn't complete for me. BUT....besides that.

Let's start with the blank looks and humoring.

I think children of narcissists probably get this a lot when they speak their truth. If their parent is not openly and passionately defended by the listener, at best the listener will probably just give a noncommittal response. There's a underlining message of, I am here for you. I am going to listen to you. I'm not going to argue with you. But I don't believe a word you're saying. OR I believe that YOU believe this is what happened. 

Now I'm thinking...since we don't actually see Lucifer's father on the show, we don't get to see any narcissistic behavior in action.  I guess it's more about what we see from his other children, believers, and followers. 

And they're the flying monkeys.

In narcissism situations, flying monkeys are the ones who defend and fight for the narcissist.

Then there are two other narcissism vocabulary words that fit well with Lucifer—golden child and scapegoat.

The scapegoat is the one who's seen as the black sheep—the one who is deserving of punishment.  Daddy and Mommy are wonderful parents. Their family is ALMOST perfect. It's just they have this awful glitch they are forced to work with. 

The golden child is the one who's adored. The favorite.

And this isn't necessarily static in a family. The golden child can do something that drops them to scapegoat status. The scapegoat can learn to properly lick boots, and they'll rise to the golden child status.

From what I know of Judeo-Christian mythology, Lucifer was God's favorite son. And then he did something wrong? I'm not sure what.  If God is like the typical narcissists, my assumption is that Lucifer insulted him and/or complained about one of God's choices. Or maybe he failed to show God enough gratitude and adoration.

Oh! Wait.

I don't need to depend on the TV show to see evidence of God's narcissism.

I forgot.

Through life I got glimpses of it when worshipping at Temple.

Really? Who, besides narcissists, demands to be worshipped?

Who else would expect you to accept the shit thrown at you with a smile and at the same time be eternally grateful for every crumb dropped your way?

Like a narcissistic parent, God demands adoration and excessive gratitude.  

Although to be fair, there's no proof that God demands any of this. He could be this really cool guy (or woman or Octopus) who rolls their eyes when people do the worshipping and says, Man...I really don't need all of this. Thanks. But how about you go and find something more fun to do. Enjoy yourself!  And maybe he'd say, I appreciate all the gratitude, but I'm also totally cool if you have some constructive criticism. I'd love to hear some of your ideas about things. 

Anyway....

Back to the flying monkeys.  

On Lucifer, the main one so far is the angel Amenadiel (D.B Woodside). He seems to be the golden child of the family.

He tries to convince Lucifer to go back to hell. When convincing doesn't work, he tries more manipulative tactics. He befriends Lucifer's therapist (Rachael Harris) in an attempt to get her to unknowingly manipulate Lucifer into doing what God wants.  

And when that plan doesn't work?

Amenadiel works an angelic, medical miracle.  The plug is pulled on Malcolm, a dying, crooked police officer (Kevin Rankan).  Moments after the equipment is unplugged and his loved ones are crying, Malcolm comes alive again. We later learn he visited hell for 30 seconds; then was brought back by Amenadiel.  

Amenadiel's miracle doesn't come for free, though. In order to not return to hell, Malcolm has to murder Lucifer. The idea being that if Lucifer is killed, his soul will be returned to hell. (Maybe his body too? I'm not sure how that all works with angels)

Yeah. So God and his angels are supposed to be the good guys.Yet they're forcing someone into a life he doesn't want, because it works with THEIR plans. And when he tries to rebel, they use manipulation to try to force him back back into line.  

While some flying monkeys are calculating and cruel; maybe narcissist themselves; other flying monkeys are good people—just misguided.  They usually avoid manipulation and just speak from their heart.  I think he does love you.  I think you just misunderstood him. I think he just wants what's best for you.  He really cares about you! He talks about you all the time, and he gets all teary-eyed.  

These people aren't about helping the narcissist win, and they don't want to hurt you. They listen carefully and attempt to understand. They don't say manipulative things or insulting things like, It's too bad you only see the negative. 

 They just want there to be peace and happiness between everyone. And they want to believe the narcissist is the hero they have imagined him to be.  They love you. They care about you. But they want you to be wrong.

And that's still very frustrating (and often hurtful). But at least it comes from kindness.  

On the last episode I watched, "A Priest Walks into a Bar", this type of flying monkey comes in the form of a priest (Colman Domingo).  He's kind to Lucifer. He befriends Lucifer. He seems to be a really nice guy. But he's a supporter of Lucifer's narcissist father, and he gently defends God when Lucifer vents about him.  

Lucifer complains about God's plan for him, and the priest suggests the plan isn't over.  

Flying monkeys do that. They try to get you to second guess your opinions and assumptions. Does he really hate you? Or is he just using tough love?

And maybe the priest is right. Maybe God loves Lucifer as any father should love their child. And the punishment was more about helping Lucifer in some way. Or maybe what seems like a punishment was actually an honor.

OR maybe Lucifer's right, and God's plan didn't go beyond wanting Lucifer to be miserable. Maybe it's just about God being arrogant, spiteful, and vengeful.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online