Conversations about Hotdogs

Dear Family,

I know you just want to talk about hotdogs and Chicago food...and joke around...and share photos of dogs.

All those conversations would be cool as a subplot or comic relief.  I have nothing against light-hearted distractions...even in the worst of times.  

But having those conversations amidst a complete silence regarding the January 6 Hearings and the overturning of Roe vs. Wade is very disconcerting.

I tell myself, though, that silence is preferable to knowing how and why you still stand behind Donald Trump. That you think he's a bit crude but the real villain in the story is Schumer and Pelosi.

Or hearing that although you support reasonable abortion and reasonable gun safety, you're going to continue voting for politicians who want no abortion and lots of guns.  

Things running through my head as you discuss Chicago food:

A) Our country is falling into the hands of fascist right-wing religious extremists.  I wish we could all openly and strongly agree that religious extremists making laws to control the rest of us is a terrifying, horrible thing no matter which religion it comes from.  

B) The fact that when we were much younger,  I was shamed lectured at, by Dad, for boldly admitting politics didn't interest me.  This week I watched or listened to the majority of the hearings.  I wish I could tell you about that...brag a bit and have you guys be proud of me.  But I doubt any of you would be proud of me for wasting my time on what you probably see as just a distraction from rising gas prices and airport crowdedness.     

C) When I was in fifth grade and my special interest was V....I probably assumed you guys would be like the Bernstein family or the Maxwells  and/or you'd be on the same team as Martin and the Willy.  But it turns out you guys are more like Eleanor and Daniel.  You'd probably call the mouse-eating footage fake news or left-wing headline porn.  

I'm not going to lie.  I'd love for all of you to be as left wing as me.

I'd love for us to be a family united in Wokeness.  

How fun that would be!

But really.  I'd settle for knowing that....

even though some of you are conservative, and you still stand behind capitalism, low taxes, bootstrap philosophies, etc.

That you see Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger as the heroes of the Republican party and 

That you agree with Judge Luttig when he says that Trump and his allies present a clear and dangerous threat to our democracy.







How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-departed to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

Things Would Be More Fair If.....

One of the things that's hard for me as an autistic person...and specifically an introverted autistic person (there ARE extroverted autistic people, btw) is attending social gatherings...especially if it involves a large group and/or people I don't, or hardly, know.

(By large group: I mean over 5 people).

I don't hate these social gatherings.  I would be sad if they disappeared all together.  But I'd be more content if they were maybe three or four times a year....or at most once a month rather than multiple ones in a month or sometimes even multiple ones in two weeks.  

When you live in the same metroplex as fourteen other family members, these social events happen quite often.

There are birthday parties, graduations, performances, holidays, out-of-town relative-gatherings dinners-just-because, etc. 

I would be much more okay with all of this if there weren't obligations, requirements, or pressure to attend.  BUT there is.  

Every so often, we get a friendly no-obligation or no pressure.  That's appreciated!  It really is. Though depending on who gives the message, I'm often skeptical...knowing that in the history of our family, missing an event has brought about bad-mouthing, grudges, some variation of a silent treatment, etc.  

The thing is, we don't often get to see the reaction towards OUR misdeeds, but we get to see the reaction towards others who have committed similar sins.

So...I can be pretty certain that any missing of any event by any person is going to bring a lot of behind-the-back wrath.  

It's not always behind-the-back, though.  Sometimes it comes in the form of responding to a declined invitation with a curt "okay".  Maybe other people would interpret that okay with, No worries! I totally understand!  Maybe next time" Or: I understand that you are autistic and have ADHD, and these multiple gatherings are hard for you.  I'm totally okay with you having different needs, etc.  And if you are able to come to gatherings in the future, and there are ways for us to make things easier on you, please let us know!   

But I interpret the "okay" as:  I am about to blow my top, and I would like to write you a long email about how you are the most selfish person in this family, and you tend to ruin things. You are sick. You are ungrateful! I'm going to restrain myself, though and just write this one little word.  I hope you are feeling my anger, though.  Cause otherwise this gesture of mine is wasted, and I should have just written you that very angry email.   

By the way, if they were kind enough to ask about my accommodations, one thing I might say is that I appreciate them understanding that though it's the-more-the-merrier for them, that's not always the case for me.  Now of course I wouldn't demand to have control of the guest list for another family's birthday party or another family's special event. I wouldn't actually demand control of any guest list for any get-together.  But for more mutual gatherings, I would appreciate at least an (expressed) understanding that having strangers, or people I hardly know, make things more stressful for me.  EVEN if these guests are "nice"* 

The other thing is....

I feel there really should be more balance.

My family rarely reads my writing. And this has been the case for Teen-Dina, Young Adult Dina, New-Mom Dina, Obsessed-with-Australia Dina, Neurology-Issues-Dina, and Getting-diagnosed-with-Autism Dina.

They have rarely read my novels, my blog, my Livejournal (yes, at one point it was shared with them...multiple times), my screenplays, etc.   

Why?

They're too busy. 

Some of them don't like reading.  

Others love to read, but they just don't like reading the stuff that I write.  

It would be nice if the universe balanced.  So while I am expected to go to social events when I'm not into social events, they would be expected to read some of the stuff I've written....even if they're not really into reading or reading something their sister or daughter wrote.  

How about for each hour I give up for a social event...including drive time, they have to read around 1000 words. I imagine that would be fair.  (More than fair actually, because I Googled and supposedly it would take a slow reader 2 minutes to read 250 words.  So to make it truly equitable, it would be 7500 words)

Okay.  But let's say they really can't stomach my writing?  

How about as an alternative, they take the time to watch a video or article I've sent...for example, if I sent them a video about autism, because that's important to me, and I'd like them to be more understanding.  Maybe they could take the 5-15 minutes to watch a video or read an article or editorial?

To be fair, some family members DO at least do that...they watch the video or read the article I've sent.  I appreciate that.  The one who doesn't?  I think this person also happens to be the most demanding about us attending various events.  

I don't think there's any way to get me to totally love going to multiple social events within a limited amount of time.  But I do feel I'd be more eager to go if I was going to an event among people where I felt more celebrated and supported....where people knew what my recent screenplays were about. And they knew my various thoughts about our recent Disney trip. They knew which novels I have posted online. They knew most of my various thoughts about my autism-diagnosis-story. And they knew and understood the full nightmare of what I went through with the neurologist.  

I think there's an unsaid (or maybe even said) message in my family of, you should do this for us, because we would definitely do it for you.  Even though, you don't invite us to many events....if you did, we would definitely come.  

It's kind of an easy out for them.

It would be like me demanding that they read everything I've written while they write next to nothing...and then having the attitude of: You should read my writing, because if you wrote something, I'd definitely read what you've written.  

If I was in that situation, hopefully I'd stop and think...well, they're doing this for me.  And since they're not into writing, what other ways could I show support? Ah!  Maybe, even though, I'm not into social gatherings....I'll sacrifice some time and attend this crowded birthday party.  

Basically...you know what....I could have written this post in one sentence:  If you ask someone else to often go beyond their comfort zone, be kind and go beyond your comfort zone for them.   

 













*Wanted to note that telling me a person is "nice" doesn't make me feel reassured in any way.  Because I've learned in my family that "nice" equals "normal".  If my family wanted me to feel comfortable about a guest, they'd be better off saying "He's pretty weird and super obsessed with...."

That being said....my family's friends are often quite weird in some way.  I'd just be more won over if, when promoting these guests, the quirky aspects of them were emphasized rather than "nice".

What does "nice" even mean???  

I think too often it just means neurotypical friendliness.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate neurotypical friendliness if it's not over-the-top charming gregariousness. 

But more important than nice-to-meet-you-moment social skills, I think are things like being a good listener; being anti-racist; being not-sexist; being not-homophobic; being not-transphobic, believing in the importance of democracy; feeling that children are more precious than guns, etc.   






How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

My Wedding Party Autistic Test

We are all autistic!

No.  We're probably not.

But I personally have trouble figuring out the line between autistic and allistic (non-autistic).

Today, I came up with a test...not full-proof at all.  But it's something to think about. 

The question: If we are married or have been married: Who was in our wedding party?

My two sisters and my sister-in-law made up my wedding party.  I had no lifelong friends I could ask.  I had no real friends from work.  I was not still close to anyone from college.   

I think not having friends to fill our wedding party is a sign that autism is likely possible.  

If we had friends in our wedding party, and we continue for years or decades to remain friends with these friends...I'd say that was a good sign that autism is likely not be part of the story.

There are exceptions, though.

A) If we had to hide huge parts of ourselves to keep these friendships going.  Was it the type of friendship where we felt like we had to wear a mask and if we let the mask slip, we knew we'd be in danger of losing our friends?

B) We overestimated the friendship.  We told ourselves we were friends with this person but looking back, the friendship was quite one-sided.  We might have admired the person in some way and told ourselves they were our friends. I've also had people I tried to imagine were my friends, because they were connected to one of my special interests in some way.  

Anyway, we might have WANTED to think someone was our friend. We ask them to be in our wedding, and they oblige.  Why did they say yes?  Maybe out of obligation? Sympathy?  OR....they too are confused about who is a friend and who is not.

C) We were (undiagnosed) autistics blessed to have other (undiagnosed) autistics as friends.  I say undiagnosed, because if we were all diagnosed, we probably don't need this wedding-party test anyway.  

There are also exceptions to the no-friends-in-wedding-party=autism.  For example: We have a large number of siblings, cousins, etc. and are obligated to have those people in the wedding party. We might have five best friends but also have ten first cousins that need to be included somehow.   

Another little test I have is whether someone who has met their partner in the 1990's or early 2000's...did they meet online?

If we met our partners online, I'd say both or at least one of us is probably autistic.  I didn't technically meet Tim online.  We met at camp.  BUT our friendship began after camp via email...and it was an AOL chatroom that led to us finding each other.    

I also would look at how people today are finding most of their friends/acquaintances.  I think most people probably do a large chunk of their socializing online...whether they are autistic or allistic.  BUT how did we first become friends with these friends in the first place? If we're finding friends at parties, work, neighborhood book clubs, the gym, bar, etc...we're probably less likely to be autistic.  If most of our friendships begin on Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Discord, etc....I'd say autism is likely.  

Now...autism isn't just about having social struggles or social differences.  It also involves having special interests, differences in communication, sensory issues, rigidness, and various co-existing conditions. So before looking saying YES! Autistic! or NO! Not Autistic!  We should look at the other traits as well.  

Another thing I want to add is that I suspect the social differences/challenges with autism comes from the other traits...not making eye contact enough, having special interests that other people see as creepy or weird, being too picky about food, sounds, clothes; stimming in ways that look strange to others, having awkward posture, being bad at PE, etc.  



How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-departed to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

Various Thoughts About Our Experiences at Woke Disney

I was going to do a long drawn out trip report, but it gets too rambly, and I end up revealing things I don't want to...or shouldn't.

So I'm just going to do a list of various thoughts. 

1. Though Disney tried super hard with their magical grooming tactics, I'm still cisgender and lean heterosexual with a tendency towards bisexual celebrity crushes.  

2. We never ended up using Genie + or Lightning lanes.

3. List of attractions I ended up going on:

Epcot: Ratatouille (2x), Spaceship Earth (2x), Living with the Land (2x), Nemo, Test Track, Gran Fiesta Tour, 

Magic Kingdom: It's a Small World (2x), The Carousel of Progress, People Mover, The Haunted Mansion,

Hollywood Studios: Rise of the Resistance (2x), Smugglers Run (2x), Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway (2x), Star Tours, Slinky Dog

Animal Kingdom: Nothing.

I rode Gran Fiesta, Star Tours, and one round of Mickey and Minnie alone. The rest I rode with either Jack or Tim or both of them.  

Star Tours was kind of ironic, because for the past several years, it's been the ride that Tim and Jack go on while I go elsewhere.  But I was alone in the park...and had this desire to try it.  

4. After some thinking, I decided (with Jack and Tim's permission) to switch our Animal Kingdom reservations to Epcot. 

Animal Kingdom was scheduled for our last day. I hate last days. And on top of end-of-trip-sorrow, I didn't want to add the heat or the bus experience.   And the Animal Kingdom ride I'm most interested in is Everest.  BUT...this year our desire for thrill rides had lessened. 

5. I feel with thrill rides it's not just about the thrill. It's not just about enjoying the fear or the adrenaline. I think there's also a pleasant physical feeling.  I didn't get much of that feeling on Test Track, and I pretty much just felt unpleasant on Slinky Dog. I don't know if that's a permanent kind of thing. Or if it was just about this trip.  

6. Because of the hot weather and my intolerance of it, I changed my way of doing Disney.  I'm usually a get up early kind of person. This time I had plans to sleep in late.  I worked on this schedule weeks before going to Disney.  I went from being a person who starts getting ready for bed around 9 to one who gets into bed at 11, 12, or beyond.  

My plan was to stay up late, sleep in, and then go to the parks in the evening.

I had serious doubts this would work out for me.

But it did!!

And I should add...that we had the challenge of working in a 6 am flight which resulted in us having to wake up at 3...something.  

The first morning there....I slept until 10.  I was very pleased with myself.  

I wasn't just impressed with myself for sleeping in but also for being incredibly lazy on some of the days.  

I really did well at saving my energy for the evenings.  

7. I had made our park reservations around the late night magic hours. But I won't do that again. Because one of the best nights was at Hollywood Studios with normal closing times.  I followed the advice I heard somewhere, sometime to stay beyond closing. This doesn't mean hiding in a bathroom somewhere or behind a clothes rack while everyone else leaves the park.  Instead what you do is get in line for a ride just before closing.

We got in line for Rise of the Resistance about five minutes before closing. And then afterwards slowly made our way out of the park...stopping for a lovely t-shirt-prompted chat with a cast member.  

So now I more fully understand that park closing time really is less about a forced exit and more saying you need to start your restaurant experience or get into an attraction line BEFORE this time.  

8. We went to Hollywood Studios for the DVC Moonlit Magic.  It was okay. The three not-great things:

A) We spent a large chunk of the time in line for Smugglers Run...which would have been better if the experience didn't include having drama with our TrustedHouse Sitters cat sitter.  

At some point in the drama, I suddenly exclaimed something like, I don't know what it is, but I feel like we've been here a really long time.  I THOUGHT it was just perception.  Like all the drama made it seem longer.  But it turns out what was supposed to be a 40 minute line had turned into about 75 minutes.  Though when I said that...it hadn't reached that amount of time yet.  But it was past the 40 minutes at least.  

B) For some odd reason, Disney didn't post the wait times on the app during Moonlight Magic, so you'd  have to walk to a ride and see.  Plus, I think some of the thrill and joy is looking at the app and seeing all the short wait times...even if you're not actually planning to ride.

C) There were free snacks. And a variety...not just the usual popcorn and Mickey ice-cream.  Which is lovely.  But there was no information on which snacks were where. There was just a list of which places had snacks...but not what kind of snacks.  I didn't get the snack that I wanted (pretzel) and ended up with popcorn (fairly yum) and a really blah brownie. All in all, the snack experience was a mix of confusing and disappointing.  

9. The only planned-ahead dining reservations we had was Le Cellier. It was an interesting experience, because both the hostess and our waiter had the spirit of Tigger in them.  

10. We ended up with last minute reservations at Be Our Guest.  I think that's hard to get...I mean I think it's one of the restaurants that people work hard to get months before they leave.  So I feel like we accomplished something huge.

The thing is, appointments stress me out...even eating ones.  And I love the thrill of seeing what becomes available last minute.

11. The waiting area outside Be Our Guest is a very good place to see the fireworks.  I'm not a big fan of fireworks.  But it's mostly because I don't like the crowds and the waiting for it all to begin.  The noise bothers me only in that it startles me...like if there's a long space between the fireworks or when the show first begins.  But once I know it's happening, and I'm no longer startled...I enjoy it.

We waxed poetic to a cast member about the firework experience. She explained that the only problem is we missed the projections on the castle.  We were fine with missing that.

Now...we WERE technically waiting.  But instead of waiting for the fireworks to begin, we were watching fireworks while waiting for our table to be ready.  

12. It just came into my head that it's not just about the crowds and the waiting.  It's also the knowing that after the show is over, we're going to become part of the mass crowd that's trying to exit in order to get to bed on time.  OR if we plan to stay in the park, we have to walk against the crowd...which in Magic Kingdom is kind of a nightmare.  

13. The one I-now-know-I'm autistic accommodation I gave myself on this trip was being more understanding towards myself regarding music.  Like most humans, I do love music.  I listen to a lot of it.  But I also know it can give me intense emotional responses.  And I now know, at certain times, I need to avoid music.  One such time is on airplanes.  I made myself a rule of no-music while flying.  

Though I love Sunshine Seasons, mainly because of the music playing, I was not eager to go there on this trip.  We did go into the Land Pavillon but we didn't eat or step into the Sunshine Seasons area.  

Is the same music playing near the ride?  I can't remember.  I don't remember hearing it.  Even if it's there, maybe in the context of waiting in a line it effects me less than when we're sitting together as a family eating.  

I rarely have strong generational feelings at Disney World.  But I did once at Sunshine Seasons...several years ago.  That feeling/memory of being there as a child with my family. Nostalgia can be so painful sometimes...even when connected to positive or neutral memories.

On top of personal memories...with Sunshine Seasons, there's also the cinematic memories—kids jumping from a dock in South Carolina, dark family secrets...

14. Club Cool has new sodas.  Though they've kept the Beverly.  

On our second visit, I overheard someone say that the Chinese soda tastes like barbecue sauce.  And I realized they were right.  I thought it was pretty cool/interesting.  I also liked the Russian soda.  It's like cucumber Sprite.  The others really didn't make an impression on me.  I mean I don't remember much about them.

15. We ended up sharing a snow cone in Japan.  It was very much the experience I wanted it to be.  The only thing missing was the overly hot weather, because we ended up getting it in the early evening.  Well...and instead of sitting on a bench, we stood.

Oh...and sometime later during the trip, Tim asked if we thought the snow cone had gotten. smaller.  It's one of those things that I didn't consciously notice.  But once he mentioned it, I realized it had seemed smaller.  Usually, it's bigger and therefore messier.

The important thing is, though...what I had wanted is to have a normal experience where we're just kind of taking life for granted and not getting overly sentimental about being back at Disney post-Covid.  

And on that note.....

16. Being back at Disney felt wonderfully, beautifully normal. I didn't expect that to happen.  I had anticipated being hurt by the changes, overcome with nostalgia, and just, in general, having a ton of bittersweet moments.

But no.  Even with the changes, things felt so normal.  It felt same old, same old.  And I'm so grateful for that.  It's exactly what I needed.

17. I have three new vomits to add to my collection of horrifying vomit encounters at Disney World.  

Note: I have a phobia of vomit, so any vomit is horrifying.

They all took place at Epcot...which gave me a paranoid moment or two about the food being served there.  But it's probably just a coincidence.

All the imagery happened very fast, because it's something I quickly look away from. So my memories might not be exactly accurate.

The first was a man..kind of towards a wall.  I think he had just finished with the vomiting.  I have this memory of the vomit puddle being huge.  It was horrific.  The one thing that gave me comfort is he had people with him, supporting him.  I think part of my vomit phobia originated with vomiting as a child and receiving the message that kids in fourth grade do not merit the comfort and assistance that a much younger, more beloved child, deserves.  So seeing an adult receive TLC was kind of maybe slightly therapeutic to me.

Though....with me having a vomit phobia, I'm probably the person who will cause other people to have a phobia, because I'm likely to make a vomiting person feel like a total pariah.  But it might be more likely, I'd be comforting and helpful; then later have OCD type meltdowns where I'm taking multiple showers, throwing away clothes, having flashbacks, not wanting the vomiter to go near me until they've taken ten showers, etc.  

Onto the two other vomits.  It was the last day.  We were walking in World Showcase.  My memory is probably really unreliable.  But I feel maybe I saw multiple cast members cleaning an area in the walkway with chemicals.  It all seemed very serious.  I kind of feel they were on their hands and knees?  And I was thinking...did someone vomit?  And why are they cleaning like this instead of using the sawdust.  Then we walked a few steps further, and there was a sawdust situation.  And one of the cast members asked people in contagion-movie style to please keep away from the area.

I'm guessing what happened is someone vomited twice in a crowded walkway.  They were probably simply probably trying to prevent a bunch of people trampling on the vomit; then spreading it through World Showcase.  

BUT...it kind of felt like a horror movie and that the vomit had some kind of little aliens inside of it...or contained a new extra-scary variant of Covid or Monkey Pox.

18. I very occasionally have these certain super-special feelings that are dream-memory related.  I had these feelings when seeing this wonderful, magical contraption at Epcot.


Just remembering seeing this in person or looking at a picture gives me residual feelings of the feeling.

What gave me huge amount of the feeling is seeing water spraying from that thing.  I stayed behind to try to get some photos and especially wanted to get some water action shots...but gave up after waiting a few minutes.  (it was too hot for me to keep waiting).  

I assumed the thing had something to do with the evening Epcot show. For some reason, I imagined it to be some giant firefighting machine (just in case) which now seems kind of silly. I later saw images somewhere that made me realize it's actually part of the show.

I should do more research into it.  

Okay.  Googled.

The official name seems to be Harmonious Barges...and here's a bunch of various images. 

The Disney Food Blog calls them Epcot's biggest eyesores.  DFB used to be one of my favorite Disney sources but at one point, I realized their taste in food is too different from mine.  They're really big on cupcakes...which to me are just not my favorite thing.  I'm not trying to criticize them in anyway.  I think they're great.  But sometimes...in terms of taking travel advice, it's helpful to know if the one giving advice has similar likes and dislikes as you.

Anyway...yeah....what they call an eyesore might be the most beautiful, amazing thing I have ever seen at Disney World.

So we are certainly not on the same page with that...or with cupcakes being a highly desirable dessert.  

19. My favorite Disney treat this time around was a bag of pink cotton candy.  

We stopped off at the Boardwalk store just before it closed, so Tim could buy a toothbrush.  While waiting for him, I sat there looking at the various fancy bakery and confectionary thingies.  A cast member asked if I was having trouble deciding on something.  I replied that I wasn't even sure if I wanted anything...which was the truth.  It was very much a moment of do-I-want-something-and-if-I-do-how-the-hell-do-I-choose?

Tim came back with the toothbrush.  And the cast member ringing it up suddenly presented the bag of cotton candy, saying something like, And you will need this toothbrush to go with your FREE bag of cotton candy.

It was a very delightful magical moment.

I had this idea that the cast member thought it was financial stress preventing me from getting a dessert, and she was being charitable.  But when we exited the store, we saw other cast members holding bags of cotton candy.  We concluded that it's probably a tradition that at closing, they hand out the leftover bags.  

20. If I was going to ask Disney to make one improvement it would be that if you're going to have rides and attractions opened late that they also have more food options open.  BUT I can't blame Disney for not having that improvement.  Because I think it's a matter of being understaffed.  A cast member in the Disney College program told us she's working 50-60 hours a week.  

What might help, though....  How about hotel vending machines?  

Or maybe they have them...and I just didn't see. They could be in the ice-maker areas.  I didn't check there.

The night that we planned to do the extra evening magic hours at Epcot, we left almost immediately after it started when we realized there was very little food left open.  If we had stayed until the end, we would have then returned to the Beach Club/Boardwalk area where most (or all) of the restaurants were already closed.  

I should add that we had snacks in the room, so we didn't even need a vending machine.  But what if we didn't have snacks, and we couldn't find food anywhere?  I sometimes have low blood sugar feelings...so it's something I think about.  

With our late schedule, though...and erratic eating schedules...what we were usually craving was an actual meal.  So that kind of messed with our let's-stay-late-at-the-park plans.   

21. Back to our Be Our Guest experience.  In the beginning of our time there, they suddenly announced the presence of the Beast.  He came in and just kind of stood there, looking pretty.  It cracked me up a bit.  What made it even funnier is like...fifteen minutes later, they repeated the whole thing.  And I kind of pictured it like people humoring helping a person who needs extra-reassurances.

There's this movement in pop-psychology to replace terms like attention-seeking with support-seeking.  I actually agree a lot with this, by the way.

But...yeah.  It felt like this beast was in need of support and that we as diners were being asked to provide it for him.  

22. Getting back to point 6.  Just to clarify....

I am very lazy when I'm at home...at least when it comes to going out.  In fact, we got back from Disney last Friday.  It's Thursday, and I don't think I've been out since then.  

Though...I have taken a couple of walks in the neighborhood.  

Well...that's actually something. Because I put on a bra.

Yay me.

I've actually been trying to be less lazy at home...even tried making a kind of rule of putting on a bra, getting dressed, and being ready to go out everyday.  

So...here in Texas I'm trying to be less lazy.

While in Disney, I was trying to be more lazy...at least during the hot sun hours.  


What would our world be like if we
knew for sure there 
was life after death, and 
we could easily talk to our 
dearly-departed on the Internet?

The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts 




It's a Mad World After All and Everybody Wants to Rule It

When we were at Woke Disney last week,  Tim and I went on It's a Small World while Jack went off on his own.  Later, we joined forces again.  Jack asked if we'd mind going on It's a Small World again.  I didn't. But I decided to spice things up a bit by playing an alternate soundtrack on my headphones.  I chose "Mad World", the Michael Andrews/Gary Jules version and then Lorde's version of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World".

I'd like to pretend this idea came from my own little brain.  But I feel I've picked it up subconsciously from somewhere.  Or more like consciously from somewhere, and now I've forgotten from where.  Maybe I'll Google later.    

I am wondering if maybe it came from my favorite Disney blogger?

Well...anyway....

It was a fun experiment.

I do want to make this important point:  The choice to do this came more from thinking it would be fun to experiment rather than the dread of hearing "It's a Small World" song twice in a row.  

Hearing "Mad World" and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" on the ride was slightly....something. I'm not sure what word to use.  Eerie. Maybe?  Dark?

Yeah. I guess dark would fit.  The alternate soundtrack made the dark ride darker.

In terms of an emotional effect...Though I felt a bit of something on the ride,  I felt a much bigger thing yesterday when, while taking a shower, I decided to ask Alexa to play the songs.  

Though I'm bad at conjuring up images on demand, I do have them popping up involuntary, and hearing the song brought up images from the ride.  

All the feelings are hard to explain.  And now I kind of regret trying to write a blog post about it.

BUT...I don't want to this to be yet another post I start and then delete.  Or save in my drafts indefinitely.  

There are other things I want to say about the trip.  I'm trying to decide if I should skip it all together, add it to this post, or make other Disney posts.

Thinking about it....

It's like 25 minutes later, and I'm still thinking about it.

I did get up to pee, though.  So at least I'm multi-tasking.

I think I might go with plan C or plan A....hopefully with B.

But instead of ending this post here, I'm going to Google and see if I can easily find anyone else who changed a Disney ride soundtrack.  

I Googled "Listening to Other Music on Disney rides" and got lists of webpages to help with listening to Disney music while not in the park.  It's kind of the opposite of what I'm searching for.

I looked up It's a Small World specifically and found this video.

No....I think this was more like someone filmed the ride and then later added their own soundtrack. And they actually made the ride more peppy. 

Well...did more Googling and didn't find anything.

If you know of anything, please share.  

Last thing I want to say for THIS post is that it's not just that the altered soundtrack made the ride darker or that the ride image memories made the songs even more eerie...but added to that is everything going on in the world these past couple of years.  The state of the world and paying attention to it can make most everything seem much darker.  


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