Extension

I've decided to extend my hiatus from listening to audio books.

I was going to end it on Wednesday.  But now I'm going to extend it until at least next Saturday.

Why?

A) I'm very hyper-focused on my own fiction writing project.  That leaves me less time to listen to someone else's fiction.  But more importantly, I'm so hyper-focused...I think I'll.. spend too much time daydreaming and having to rewind...multiple times.

B) I'll still have stuff to listen to. Podcasts. And two that I listen to are fiction. So, I'll get my needed dose of fictional audio that way.

C) I'll also get my dose of fiction via the current TV shows in my life: Neighbours, Coronation Street, Little Women, and Gilmore Girls.

D) I need the extra time, so I still have time to learn Te Reo Māori despite now needing time to also write/plan/think about my book.

* * *

I really hope I actually write this book.

I started a little....

430 words.

Not a lot.

But much better than my last two attempts at writing novels. (ZERO words).

* * *

I don't plan to do word counting on a regular basis.

I just wanted to prove to whoever is reading this that I actually wrote some words.  

* * *

My barely-started novel's genre is UnDystopian.

It's in opposition to dystopian novels.

My future is a hopeful, better future.

But it's not a utopia.  Things aren't perfect. People still have problems.

I think the idea of dystopian is usually that there were lofty plans and then the lofty plans made everything extremely more shitty.

In the UnDystopian genre, the lofty plans make things better. But not perfect. Because there will always be problems.  

* * *

The conflicts in my novel probably won't come from the futuristic stuff.

The conflicts will probably be more everyday things...relationship issues, big life decisions, inner angst.

There IS some political drama involving terrorist cults.  I'm not sure, though if this will be a bit part of the plot or just a background kind of thing.  

OR it might be something that doesn't even leave my notes.  Like Dumbledore being gay.  Maybe I'll be the only one who knows there are terrorist cults...(and whoever reads this post) 

Edited to Add (immediately after posting): Just Googled and learned that there are utopian novels that don't present a perfect world.  So I guess I'm stuck calling my novel utopian.  Even though I much prefer the term UnDystopian.  

Or I could be a rebel and stick to UnDystopian.  

An Exhausting List of My Special Interests

I've decided to make a list of all most of my life's what I used-to call-obsessions but the autistic community labels as "Special Interests".

I will surely forget things.

I know this, because I've seen myself forgetting things.  I've been reading some 2006 journal entries and find myself being reminded of interests I had forgotten.  Or sometimes there are interests that I downplayed in my head.  But now I read my journal and think...Wow, I was super obsessed.

I'm going to try to go in chronological order.

Edited to add 4/6/24- I've now decided that many of these things were NOT special interests.  More about that...way, way below.  

Peter Pan

The Wizard of Oz

Roald Dahl books 

Annie

Savannah Smiles

Poltergeist

All of a Kind Family Books 

Michael Jackson (remembered and added 12/31/21)

Child Stars (especially Heather O'Rourke)

V

Disney World  (off and on through out my life starting at around age 10 or 11)

Days of our Lives 

Karate Kid II 

Asian culture/people (maybe bordering on racist/fetish kind of thing)

Cabbage Patch Dolls (remembered and added 1/1/22)

Mario Bros  

Stephen King Books 

Anne Rice books 

Pat Conroy Books 

Dean Koontz Books 

Nightmare on Elm Street (Especially the third movie)

Agnes of God  (added 3/1/22)

Cystic Fibrosis. 

Cruise vacations

Our Ouija Board (and the pretend-friends that went with that) (remembered and added 12/31/21)

The Lost Boys  (Remembered and added 12/31/21)

Born on the 4th of July (added 2/24/22)

Novel Writing 

Born Free (I had an Elsa AOL screenname way before Frozen)

Making collages 

Abnormal Psychology, especially Dissociative Personality Disorder 

Beetlejuice (remembered and added 1/2/22

Judaism

England (especially British people)

Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals

Comparative Religion

Hook

My Girl. (Weeping Willow with your tears falling down. Why do you always weep and frown?)

Scrooged

Saturday Night Live (Edited to add 1/25/22)

J.M. Barrie 

Screenwriting

Primates (especially the Great Apes)

Titanic

Another World 

Neurofibromatosis (much shorter and less intense than Cystic Fibrosis.  But significant, because I wrote a novel and screenplay.  And I've used the title (Thirty Cats) for various screennames, including Instagram, which I'm on a lot).  

Wedding Planning. (hated the dress aspect but obsessed with music, cake, flowers)

a folder that shows
a combination of my wedding
and Disney special interest

The X-Files

Seinfeld

Friends.   (Edited to cross-out.  I started having doubts about this one, because I don't remember doing anything outside of watching the show with Tim)

Twelve Monkeys 

Parenting (especially attachment parenting)

Homeschooling

New York (a part of being homesick for where we previously lived)

Making/editing montage videos 

Food  

Nutrition

Weight Loss (This is and previous two all part of my eating disorder)

The Sims 2 (Remembered and added 1/3/22-was also into Sims and Sims 3 at other points but 2 was my favorite)

Eating Disorders (after realizing I actually might have an eating disorder...and all the imposter syndrome that went with that).

Charmed 

Lucid Dreams

Spirituality (especially reincarnation) 

Australia 

The Colbert Show

McLeod's Daughters 

Lost 

Wicked (Added 2/24/22) 

Twilight series 

Harry Potter (Peak year for me was probably 2010-2011.  Prior to that it would come and go with the release of the books.  But 2011 I got involved with role playing activities).

Singing, 

The King's Speech (Remembered and added 12/31/21

The Sing Off (Remembered and added 1/2/22

Modern Family 

The Big Bang Theory (added 3/23/22)

Desperate Housewives

Ugly Betty (added 3/24/22)

Doctor Who

American Horror Story

Minecraft 

The Walking Dead

Narcissism, toxic behavior, psychological manipulation, etc.

The Me Too Movement

Trump and American Politics 

Coronation Street

Game of Thrones (added 2/21/22)

Dark The Netflix series (added 2/21/22)

TV shows in general

Myoclonus and Epilepsy 

Cats (I've often considered cats more of a family member than an actual interest or obsession.  But there was an exception between the time that Max died and Annie found us.  In that time, we went to Japan where I had a strong desire to visit Cat Cafes) 

Covid 19 (and at some points through out the decades a special interest in pandemics in general)

Anti-racism (added 1/3/22) 

Schitt's Creek

St. Louis (this was kind of a budding one...and it was kind of pushed aside by the next one on the list...but now I've gotten a tiny bit back into it.  Maybe)

Autism

Duolingo (remembered and edited to add 12/31/21)

The Characters I'm creating for a novel I will probably never write or I will write and it will be something to add to my list of unpublished and/or unsuccessful writing projects.  (two of the characters live in St. Louis, so it gives me a chance to kindle that special interest) 

Disney vs. Florida Republicans (added 4/22/2022) 

This list is difficult not just because of forgetting things but because it's hard to see somethings as a special interest when I compare them to other things.  

For example, as much as I was into My Girl for a period of time, it's NOTHING compared to how much I was into the Poltergeist movies. 

And yes, I was into X-Files.  But it's nothing compared to how much I was into Lost.  

Although then I question that.  Was I really less into X-Files?  Or is it because there was less ability to obsess via the Internet in those days?  Or has the passage of time led to my forgetting how much I (might have) been into X-Files.

Other special interests seem small, because they are common and many other people are more intense in their fandomship. 

It's easier to feel as if something is a SPECIAL interest when our interest in it is unique.  For example, I don't think being obsessed with Cystic Fibrosis is very common.  Well, it might be more common these days, because it seems the disease has become more often used as a subject in fiction and nonfiction media.  But back when I had it as a special interest....I was quite unique.

I'm thinking, though, that commonality shouldn't disqualify a special interest.  Otherwise, we'd have to cross out trains and dinosaurs from childhood special interests.

Less intensity also shouldn't disqualify, because there will always be people who are more intense than us.

I feel I was probably VERY high up there in terms of having Australia as a special interest.  But that doesn't disqualify other people with a less intense special interest in Australia.  AND...there is probably someone out there who is/was even more obsessed with Australia than me.

The question that lingers in my mind and will probably continue to linger for a long, long time is where do we draw the line between autistic special interests and not-autistic special interests.

A part of the divide would, of course, be having other traits of autism.

I think EVERYONE has had at least one special interest in their life.  Besides the other traits of autism...maybe it's about the amount of special interests and the intensity.  Each special interest doesn't have to be intense.  But maybe it would be expected that there's at least a few that are very intense.  

I think, for fun, I'll make a scoring list for what traits make an interest a SPECIAL interest....aka a potentially autistic special interest.

If you are terrified of being a person with autism, this list might reassure you or terrify you.

If you are wanting to identify as autistic, this list might either reassure you or give you an imposter-syndrome induced meltdown.  

The List

2 points for every time you are distracted from what you're "supposed" to be thinking about or listening to, because you're daydreaming about your interest. 

2 points for every single time you Google the interest or something related.  (yes other search engines count).   Subtract 1 point for each search...if you're searching due to worry or fear. Though I think sometimes fears can become special interests.

5 additional points for every website about your interest that you actually spend time reading 

5 points for each social media account, related to your interest, that you follow

10 points for every book that you read pertaining to the interest. This includes fiction written by an author you're interested in..not including the first book you read by the author.  

10 points for each item you have purchased related to your interest

25 points for every time you rewatch an episode, scene, or see the movie again.  (an additional 20 points if you actually buy theater tickets to see it again or you re-rented it from Blockbusters)

30 points if you watch a show or movie you'd usually have very little interest in solely because an actor or actress from one of your special interest shows/movies is in it.

30 points if you have developed a crush on someone because they are connected to your special interest

40 points  if someone suggested that you talk too much about a special interest

40 points if when you played make-believe with your friends, you insisted the storyline be related to your special interest.  Add 50 additional points if this sentence, for you, should be in present tense rather than past.

40 points if when reading, watching other books/TV shows/movies you were fervently wishing you were watching/reading your interest-thing.

40 points if you have written fiction related to your interest.  Add an additional 10 points if the piece of fiction is a full-length project.  Add an additional 20 points if you've written more than one piece of fiction.  Add 100 points if you've written more than three pieces of fiction related to the interest.  

40 points if you managed to learn something that would normally be too challenging for you. 

40 points if you really want people around you to shut up other things and let you talk about your  interest.  Add 100 additional points if you've had this feeling for more than two days. Add 500 additional points if this has gone on for more than a month.  Add 1000 points if this has gone on for more than three years.

40 points if thinking about your special interest brings you a sense of comfort when you're needing comforting or distraction.

50 points if you have gone to a convention because of your special interest.  Subtract 45 of those points if you went only because your friends went.  Subtract 49 of those points if you went mainly because your romantic partner or interest wanted to go.  

50 points if your interest led you to choosing your college major or minor.

50 points if you have a career related to your interest (Add 100 additional points if having that career didn't end your special interest)

50 points if your interest inspired you to do volunteer work. Add 20 more points for each additional event or project or night you slept away from home because of the volunteer work.

50 points if you've made charity donations related to your special interest.

50 points if your special interest led you to writing a pointed message that got you into trouble

50 points for each time you have not been there for a family member or friend when you should have been there...because of a special interest.  For example, you didn't attend your brother's wedding, because you wanted to be there for the midnight release of a Harry Potter book.  

50 points if your interest led you to doing something that would normally terrify you

50 points if you have an email address or social media screenname related to the interest

50 points if the passion for your interest led to you being arrested.  Add 10 additional points if you were convicted.  Subtract 50 points if you are Black.  Add an additional 50 points if you are convicted and in prison despite being white and upper middle class.  

60 points if there was a golden apple on your 5th grade teacher's desk and you had this very strong wish/fantasy that this apple was magic and would transfer you to the fictional universe of your interest.

60 points if you have a blog, Instagram account, YouTube channel, podcast, etc. that is dedicated to your interest and add 50 extra points for every year that you've had the account, etc.  If you don't have an account specific to the interest, add 5 points for every post or episode you've done about the interest.  

75 points if you kept your interest a secret for awhile either because it was intense, overwhelming, sacred, etc.

75 points if you tried to deter yourself from the interest because the intensity of your feelings scared you or you didn't want to go through THAT again.  

75 points if people skip over the usual small talk conversation topic and ask you about your special interest

75 points if you're not usually socially motivated but if people have a connection to your special interest, you are suddenly motivated to be social with them.

100 points if you have a book related to your special interest that you carry around like a comfort object...or any other item.  Subtract 50 of those points if the item is soft or cuddly (and you're under the age of 12) OR if the object brings you positive attention from others.  

150 points if someone asks if you've been tested for autism when you talk about your interest. Subtract 100 of those points if the person asking you is like me and is currently seeing autism in pretty much everybody.  

200 points if you have gone on trips to places specifically because of your special interest. Add another 50 points for each time you returned to the place.

200 points if you have been interviewed on TV or a podcast to talk about your interest...not about your interest in general but to showcase you as an obsessed person.  Add 50 additional points for each additional times you've been interviewed OR asked to be interviewed.  Add another additional 50 points if it was national TV or a popular program.

Okay...that was a lot of fun making the list.  But I have no idea how to do the silly or fancy math needed to come up with "correct" minimums.  

I'll try.

If anyone doesn't agree with my divisions, please argue with me (politely....or at least without death threats...or at least without gruesome death threats...or if gruesome, please be creative and make it more blood centered than rape centered)

So....How about?

5-50 points - a minor special interest

51-200 points - a major special interest

200-1000 points- a MAJOR MAJOR special interest

more than 1000 points?  Holy shit!!!!

As for autism....

If you have at least one special interest in the holy shit category, I'd read up on the other traits and seriously consider that you might be autistic.

Same goes for those who have at least 2 in the MAJOR MAJOR category.

Or at least 5 in the Major category

Or 30 in the minor category. 

If the label autistic scares you, because you're picturing Dustin Hoffman rambling about the safety of Qantas or the virtues of Kmart underwear, you could take up the alternative labels of Intense, On the Spectrum, Aspie, Living with Intensity, HSP (highly sensitive Person, Crystal Child, Indigo Child, ADHD, etc.

They all pretty much mean the same thing.  

Again, this list is not at all scientific.  But if it's fun for you or helps temporarily relieve you of any imposter syndrome....very cool.  

Edited to add 4/6/2024:  I've come to realize that a lot of what I listed above were NOT special interests. And now I've come up with new categories to describe other types of interests. 

So here we go....

Besides special interests, I've had

A) Stressful interests

B) Hobbies

C) Passing interests

Stressful interests are where I research something, because I seek validation, ammunition for arguments/debates, reassurance, etc.   

Hobbies are things I like to do but I'm not especially interested in them.  I would rather just do them than Google them, watch YouTube videos about it, etc.  

Examples of this for me lately would be playing The Simpsons Tapped Out, feeding wildlife, and taking care of the plants in my backyard. I might Google if I need to know something for practical reasons but not just for the sake of wanting to learn more and having that extreme passionate enjoyment.  

I love playing The Simpsons and have in rare instances Googled to find something out...such as: will planting Triffids end the game?   

If the game was a special interest, I'd probably want to watch videos of other people playing, watch the actual TV show, learn about every voice actor, etc.

Passing interests are when I love something, because I'm currently reading it or watching it...or visiting a place.  I'll get really into it for a short period and then I move on.

Often these feelings are recurring, because we revisit the place or a new season of the show comes out.

An example would be Dark. I loved that show.  And each time we watched a season, I obsessed over it a bit.  I listened to the music on Spotify. I Googled to figure out how the hell each character was connected, etc.  But a few days after watching a season, the interest would fade, and I'd have a new passing interest.  

Now....sometimes there will be some kind of lingering aspect.  For example, I still listen to music from Dark occasionally.  Mostly, because it's still on some of my playlists.  

I've been learning French the past eight years or so. Why?  Because we watched Les Revenants.  My interest in the show soon faded, but the French stayed with me as one of my hobbies.  

I thought it would be easy to go through the list and label most things as NOT special-interests.

It turns out it's not.

The problem is probably due to comparisons.

My special interests in Poltergeist, Cystic Fibrosis, and Australia played such a huge role in my life.  Other things seem small in comparison.  But when I think back carefully, I realize they too were special interests.

The three above were, I guess, my BIG Special interests. Or my Super-Special interests.

Judaism might fit in with the three above.  

Medium to small special interests: Annie, Savanah Smiles, Nightmare on Elm Street, V, Great Apes, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Most of the TV shows and books would be passing interests even those I love a lot such as Doctor Who and Lost.  

Stressful interests: parenting, homeschooling, dreams and spirituality, eating disorders, myoclonus/seizures, narcissism/toxic behavior, autism, the MeToo-Movement, Trump, Covid, anti-racism, Israel

Hobbies: novel-writing, singing, screenwriting, collage-making, making videos, The Sims, Minecraft, Duolingo, dieting/eating, feeding wildlife, gardening, photography, AI art, etc.  

Note: Parenting in itself wasn't a stressful interest.  Though it's extremely stressful (along with extremely wonderful).  But what I'm referring to is the excessive reading of parenting books, websites, magazines, etc. in pursuit of reassuring ourselves that we're not destroying the soul of the tiny person living in our home.  The obsessing over breastfeeding, sleep, nutrition, discipline, education, etc.  

Episode Two of Two Sides of the Spectrum

Thanks to my sister Melissa, The Imagineer Podcast is no longer the only podcast in my life.  I'm now also listening to Meg Proctor's Two Sides of the Spectrum.  

I recently finished listening to episode two. 

In this episode, she talks to an autistic autism specialist named Damian Milton, who sounds bit a like Alan Rickman. Or Severus Snape, really.  I can't remember if Rickman always sounded like Snape?

Anyway....

Here are some various thoughts I had while, or because of, listening to the podcast.  

1. I find comfort in finding some of Milton's autistic traits relatable. Part of my imposter syndrome is hearing someone's particular autistic trait that does NOT match my own experience and then immediately thinking, I'm not autistic!

 2. Milton reminded me that I have a strong aversion to tuna fish salad. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten to mention that in my blog.

Milton talked about his aversion to parmesan cheese, which strangely despite my vomit phobia, I don't have that particular aversion in common with him. I actually love parmesan cheese. Though my love for the processed powder stuff has lessened in the last year or so.

Tuna fish salad, though.  If I was starving on a deserted island, I might continue starving if the only thing available was that disgusting substance.

I'm sitting here asking myself if I'd eat a bowl of it for a million dollars, and it's actually horrifying for me to even imagine taking a bite.  

But I'd probably do it, because I'd feel guilty not doing it. 

I'd probably cry, though, while enduring it. And I'd probably end up with PTSD.

Okay. I know it probably sounds bad that I'd let myself starve to death to avoid eating tuna fish salad, but I wouldn't give up a million dollars.  

The thing is, with a million dollars...there are other people in the picture. Like charities and family.  I would feel guilty that I gave up a chance to get money I could donate. And I think I wouldn't hear the end of it from family.  If only Dina ate that tuna fish salad, we would be sitting in first class instead of economy.  

Whatever charity I gave the money to....like let's say I gave it to a charity that plants trees, I think every time I'd see a tree, I'd have flashbacks of eating the tuna fish salad, and I would end up hating trees. Or if I gave the money to a charity to help abused children, I'd end up hating all children.  

I really hope no one ever offers me a million dollars for eating tuna fish salad.  

Just having to smell tuna fish salad or look at it is dreadful to me.  

3. Milton talks about being both touch-aversion and touch-seeking. I'm this way.  There are certain fabrics I don't like touching and certain variations of that type of fabric I hate touching. I hate the feeling of having dry skin especially on my hands. I don't like wearing pants, tights, or panty house.  I don't like certain types of touch from people.  I'm very picky about underpants. I hate touching chalk and chalkboards. It's a struggle for me to get to sleep sometimes, because of touch issues.  

But I love touching certain things...like wet, squishy, slimy. Though at the same time, I don't like touching those things, because they  can ultimately end up causing my hands to feel dry. But as long as there is good hand-washing and lotion nearby.....I love the feel of lotion on my hands.

I wash my hands too often and sometimes too long. Most of that is due to my germ/contamination issues, but I also love the feel of the water and the soap.  

I love people playing with my hair and scratching my back.

4. Milton pushes accommodating sensory issues rather than desensitizing.  I like that.

I would much prefer that people not order tuna fish salad when I'm at the table rather than push me to try to get used to the smell.

Fortunately, I'm not often in situations where people order tuna fish salad.  Tim and Jack very kindly don't make it at the house. They do make chicken salad, which I don't love to see, because of the mayonnaise.  But the smell is much less offensive. 

Every so often, someone will eat it when I'm around. I don't think they know of my aversion, and I don't mention it.  I have vague memories of people eating it near me in the last few years. I don't remember being too horrified by the smell. Maybe the air circulation was good? 

I'm feeling guilty in remembering/realizing that maybe I'm not sensitive enough to other people's smell sensitivities.  Tim is sensitive to play-doh. I'm not sure I was compassionate enough about that.  My sister is sensitive to the smell of seafood.  I guess that fish smell?  And my brother-in-law has a sensitivity to fenugreek.  I probably have not been kind enough towards them regarding their issues.

I recently brought a frozen Indian meal to the lake house. Fortunately, I had grabbed the Saag Paneer which (probably) doesn't have fenugreek.  But we have other frozen Indian meals that probably do have fenugreek, and I didn't really have my brother-in-law in mind when I grabbed the less-offensive-to-him meal.

If I want people to be more sensitive to my issues, I definitely need to be more sensitive to theirs.  

5. Either Milton or Proctor (maybe both?) talk about autism as a a culture——a social model of autism vs a medical model.  I really like this and hope as time goes by that this becomes a bigger and bigger thing.  

6. Proctor talks about how she used to use the term peer model but now sees how it is problematic.  Peer model is where autistic child spend time with neurotypical children to be inspired by and learn how to act more neurotypical.  Proctor's and Milton's message is that autistic people shouldn't be the ones to do all the changing and improving.  

I think through the years, autistic people have been pushed to change so they can accommodate allistic (non-autistic) people. It's much more fair if autistic people learn to bend a bit to accommodate allistic people but at the same time allistic people learn to bend a bit to accommodate autistic people.

SO...for every autistic person put into ABA therapy so they can become more neurotypical and/or more functional, a neurotypical person should be put into a conversion therapy that trains them to act more autistic and be more functional when they are among autistics.  

7. Milton had a good analogy for the 40 hours of ABA that some children are prescribed.  He said it was like an adult admitting they hate math and then being forced to do math for 40 hours a week.  This is somewhat similar to the approach I am tempted to take with parents who force their kids to taste something, the dreadful, Just take one bite. That's all you have to do!  I want to take something they'd probably find disgusting like a dead cockroach or a handful of maggots and say, Just take one bite. It's not that hard!

Just for the record: I'd much rather be offered a dead cockroach or handful of maggots to eat, for a million dollars, than a bowl of tuna fish salad.  

Anyway...

On the subject of pushing autistic people to change..... (or taking a detour from it, actually) 

From what I've heard, one of the things autistic people are often forced to do is make eye contact.  I'm not sure if I have the eye contact issue. I don't feel great making eye contact, but I felt weirder recently when I tried not making it.  I started to wonder if I had been born with an aversion to eye contact but was taught that this is the right thing to do and so it came to the point where not-making-eye contact felt wrong.

I do often feel uncomfortable talking face to face with people. I would rather talk to someone on a walk or while we're both busy doing chores than sit across from someone at a restaurant and have a conversation. BUT if I was sitting across from someone, I'd feel weird looking past them, and if they did that to me, I think I would be thinking, You're not listening to me.  OR, at least, I would have thought that in the past.  Now I would be more sensitive to people having eye contact issues. Although that sentiment would compete with the idea that when I daydream, I stare off into space. So I might suspect the other person is doing the same.  

I guess what I'm thinking is I'm better off in situations where eye contact is not expected.  In the past, I would have attributed this to shyness and/or awkwardness.  But maybe it's is an autism thing.  

I was reading some advice somewhere from autistic people, and they talked about tricks to make it look like you're making eye contact...such as looking at someone's nose or eyebrows.  Maybe I'll start trying that.  If it makes face to face conversation easier, maybe this points to me having an eye contact issue.  

Anyway...I'm glad to have another podcast in my life, and I'm eager to listen to more of it! 

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Thursday Update

I've been meaning to mention, and now I'm finally remembering to....

Another thing on my current watch-list is Schitt's Creek. 

It's my second time watching it. I love that show SO much.

I watch it with our Alexa Echo, which we have near our sink.  I watch, a little bit at a time, while I put dishes away, wash my water bottle, or feed the cats.

I alternate between Schitt's Creek and listening to various news reports on Alexa. And with the news, I alternate between the BBC (British) CBC (Canadian) and SBS (Australian).

And yes, I also get American news.

I read the Washington Post in the morning with Annie on my lap. 

Anyway, back to Schitt's Creek.  I'm currently on episode 7 of season 4. I'm surprised I've already gotten that far, because I watch only a little bit a day. Maybe a third or half an episode?

My plan, though, is to keep rewatching and rewatching until I'm fully vaccinated. OR...well, maybe when I'm fully vaccinated, I will stop going back to the beginning. I think it would be best if I get to the end of the series. Then I'll say good-bye. until the next pandemic comes along.

What else?

I'm really into Broadchurch now.  

Tonight we'll be watching the first season finale.

I'm wondering how the first season will end and what will happen in the next two seasons. Will it take them three seasons to figure out the murderer? Or will they find the murderer this season, and the next two seasons will be about the court case and all that?

Oh! Maybe it will be a serial killer?

Oops. I just realized I gave Tim the wrong information about the shame woman from Game of Thrones. I told him she (Susan Brown) played the reporter in Broadchurch. But now I see she plays Grandma Liz.

Edited to add: 10/3/22- Rereading this post, and I'm feeling SHAME for my mistake.  Susan Brown didn't play the shame woman on Game of Thrones. She played the Septa of Winterfell.  I know this only, because we've seen watched Ted Lasso which stars the actual Shame-woman (Hannah Waddingham)

I was thinking, last night, of all the Broadchurch actors from various other shows/franchises.  

From Game of Thrones, there's Brown, David Bradley, and Jacob Anderson.

From Harry Potter, there's David Tennant, David Bradley, and Alfred Enoch. Though I can't remember actually seeing Enoch in the show. I just remember seeing his face and name when looking at IMDb.

From the Crown, there's Olivia Coleman and Andrew Buchan. 

From Doctor Who, there's David Tennant, Jodie Whittaker, David Bradley, and Arthur Darvill

I know I'm missing at least one person from somewhere. I remember looking at IMDb and seeing an actor in one of those shows, but I didn't remember their character.

It was either Harry Potter or Game of Thrones. Or...both.  

Here we go. Carolyn Pickles- who is the woman I mistakingly thought was Shame-Woman on Game of Thrones-was in Harry Potter. She played Charity Burgage.

I don't know who that is.  

Okay. Googled.

She was a professor  that was kidnapped and murdered by Voldemort before the Deathly Hollows. I think I vaguely remember that.

Speaking of Harry Potter, after reading a few more chapters, I opted to return the Robert Galbraith book. In lieu of that, I'm now reading Untamed Shore by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. 

It's good so far.

I recently read her other book Mexican Gothic and liked that a lot. 

This morning, on YouTube, I watched a video from The Daily Show about the whole unity thing.

The whole thing makes me so angry.

It makes me wonder if Biden has had a lack of experience dealing with manipulative, hypocritical, selfish people.

Well, now that I write that out, it sounds a bit nuts. He works with politicians. At least some of them have had to be manipulative, hypocritical, and selfish.

BUT sometimes people deal with these types of people not realizing that they are these types of people. 

In my book, unity involves compromise. And with compromise, both sides give in a little. 

Well, actually with politics...the losing side should have to give in more. 

When the winning side says unity, it doesn't mean...Hey, we're going to put away OUR agenda and let you put in your agenda...because we want your side to get everything they want. 

I think it's more along the lines of , We're going to put through our agenda, but if we get along...maybe we'll listen and consider your positions and maybe even put some of them into action.  

Personally, I'm not at all interested in having unity with Trumplicans. And sadly, most Republicans these days are Trumplicans. 

I want unity with the people who are against Trumplicans and Trumpism. 

Now I'm fine having unity with Trumplicans outside of politics. My family started a new rule of no political discussions, and we've all been getting along much better. It's impossible for us to unite on subjects like Trump, Impeachment, BLM protests, antisemitism, etc. But we get along pretty well when we're talking about TV shows, pets, family happenings, etc.  

In other news...

I'm still liking Shameless a lot. I think the Joan Cusack storyline is very sad. 

Some of the show is very pre-MeToo. They go with the trope of women lying about assault, and there's also a teenage girl (Laura Wiggins) sexually harassing an adult man (William H Macy). 

I think these are the storylines we tend to get when men are dominating the writer's rooms. 

I wonder what is the motivation behind these types of storylines. Is it male writers exorcising their personal anger? And if it's anger, does that anger come from their personal traumas? Or is it anger they've built up from seeing the women-are-liars-and-aggressors storylines in other TV shows, movies, books, etc. 

Is it fantasy? Older men wishing teenage girls would proposition them?

Is it a way to appease some of the guilt for their own experiences or fantasies?  Yes. I had sex with a fifteen year old. But it's not my fault. She was so sexy, and she kept flirting with me! What was I supposed to do?  

I have zero doubts that flirtatious, hyper-sexual teenager girls exist and that they sometimes target older men.

BUT...I think in the real world women are much more often the victim of men. I think there are more incidents of women being harassed and assaulted by men than men being falsely accused of crime.

And I think there are more incidents of children and teenagers being groomed by sexual predators to become victims than children and teenagers sexually harassing disinterested men trying to mind their own business.

I think shows like Shameless, and other shows in the pre-MeToo era, present a picture that is the opposite of reality.    

Hopefully that is changing a lot, because I think this false picture is one of the reasons that female victims are so often doubted when they speak up about abuse.  

 

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

My Feelings about the JK Rowling Drama

Let me start off by saying these things.

A) I think trans women are women and trans men are men.

B) I think it should be illegal for trans people to be fired for being trans.

C) I think people should use the bathrooms that make them the most comfortable.

D) I think teens (preteens?) should be able to go on puberty blockers so they don't have to go through the puberty experiences of the gender that is not theirs. 

E) I think it should be very illegal for doctors to refuse to treat Trans patients. I think if they refuse, they should lose their license.

F) I think insurance should cover sex reassignment surgery.

All that being said, I still love JK Rowling.  I still love Harry Potter. I am horrified by the way she's been treated.

Do I agree with the stuff she said?

I don't know. Because I don't fully understand it.  And the stuff that I do maybe understand, I'm not sure if I agree or not.

I argue with myself about it a lot.

I think it was tacky of her to make jokes about the word "Women" and menstruating.  Rude, really.  But I might sort of agree with the sentiment behind the joke.  I don't know.

I feel maybe we should be able to talk about things but understand that there are exceptions. I think maybe it's okay to talk about periods as being a girl thing but know that not all Cis-gender woman have periods and that some trans-gender men DO have periods.

I think we can talk about jock itch or whatever men else endure and understand that trans-women might have to deal with it as well.

I think we can talk about pregnancy as a woman's thing and understand that yes, there are some men who end up pregnant. 

And you know what, I'm okay with the idea that one day we don't refer to gender when talking about these things. Maybe one day pregnancy, erections, penises, vaginas, tampons, breast cancer, breastfeeding, etc. won't be gender specific. 

But I think we need time to grow into that mindset. I don't think it's something that we need to jump into. Or at least I think we don't need to hate every person who refuses to jump in or accidentally forgets to jump in. 

I think JK Rowling should have kept her mouth shut about the article title referring to "People who Menstruate".  At the same time, I also think people should not get too upset with a title that says "Girls, Let's Talk about Our periods!"

No. I take that back. It's okay to be upset. I can imagine a trans-girl feeling left out when seeing this title. And I can imagine a trans-boy feeling uncomfortable and excluded by the title.  But I wouldn't feel the author of the article would deserve rape-threats, death threats, hate male, cancelation, being fired, etc. 

Okay...this might get confusing and rambly. Sorry.

One way I see things it this.

I had this analogy kind of going with the thing people say of Stay in Your Lane.

Let's take black men and black women.  They are in the same lane of having to endure and fight anti-black racism.  I'd say they are 90% in the same lane.  But then there's a 10% where they are in different lanes.  Black women also have to deal with misogyny and sexism.  Black men don't have to deal with that in the same way (exception being if they are trans and dealt with sexism and misogyny before transitioning)  And I think black women probably deal with police violence a little less...I mean in terms of their OWN lives being at risk. They still have to deal with the pain of their sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, etc. being abused and/or murdered by the police. 

But there ARE some differences in the experiences of being a black man vs being a black women (whether trans or cis).

So...now let's take trans women and cis women.  I'd say they are 90% in the same lane. But cis-gender women have had to deal with sexism and misogyny from early childhood. Birth maybe. So thats a 10% of the lane that....

Uh.....

Okay. Shit. Here's me starting to argue with myself.

Because I'm thinking. No, Dina. You're wrong. trans women DO deal with misogyny when they are children, because young boys deal with misogyny as much as girls. Sometimes I think it's worse for young boys. 

There are so many "rules".  Don't wear pink. Boys don't play with dolls. Boys can't wear dresses. Boys can't wear make up. Boys don't get their nails painted.

So...I take it back regarding misogyny. 

Sexism, though. Discrimination.  I think, depending on when they transition, trans-women will have missed a lot of this.  I guess I'm talking more about the people who transition in adulthood. I'm guessing they would have a better chance at furthering their career and getting better pay.

So I think late-blooming trans-women might not be able to fully relate to career-harming sexism.

On the other hand, cis-women got to miss out on the agonizing torment of being in the wrong body, having to hide who they are, the prejudice, etc. And once they admit to the world who they are, I'm sure trans women will face enough prejudice and discrimination to make up for all that they missed in their pre-transition stage.

Back to JK Rowling.

I look at the situation through the lens of someone who has dealt with anti-semitism.

If I decided to hate and bully everyone who had a little anti-semitism, I would probably hate most every gentile in the world.

I think it's important to separate anti-semitic feelings into different groups.

There's those that hate us and want us dead. And they don't just want it. They'll actually work to kill us.

There's those that want us dead but will just wish. They won't take action.

There's those that hate us but don't want us dead.

There's those that are okay with us, but they think we made up the Holocaust to get sympathy from the world.

There are those who believe the Jews control the world.

There's those that like Jews, but they think Israel should be given back to the Palestinians. 

There's those that are okay with Jews but they think all girls are spoiled Jewish American Princesses.

There are those who are okay with Jews but they admire and support very anti-Semitic people like Farrakhan.

There are those who are okay with Jews and they are okay with Israel. But they think all the problems in Israel are 100% the fault of the Israeli's and that the Palestinians are completely innocent. 

There are those who are fine with Israel existing but want the Palestinians to have a right-to-return just as Jews do...seemingly not understanding that if this were to happen, Israel would stop being a Jewish state.

There are those who are okay with Jews but feel they don't need their own country.

There are those who "love" Jews but have this very strong need to convert them to Christianity. 

Some of the above stuff is really awful, and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the people who feel that way. 

The other stuff hurts my feelings, but I wouldn't feel the person saying it deserves death threats. I wouldn't want them to be fired. I wouldn't want them to lose their career. I wouldn't want their friends to turn against them.  If they were my friends, I'd still probably want to be their friends. If they wrote one of my favorite books, I'd still hopefully love those books.

JK Rowling herself hurt my feelings back when she refused to join the boycott of Israel. Well, she made me happy by not supporting the boycott. Ands she angered a lot of Palestinians. But then she wrote this thing where Israel was pretty much presented as a complete tyrant. I'll have to read it again to make sure.  But I think it was less along the lines of, the situation is complicated; Israel and Palestine have both made mistakes. And more along the lines of Yeah, Israel is horrible. But I don't think a boycott is going to fix things.

Though she was really talking about the Israeli government, and I probably agree with her mostly there.   

Anyway....

There have been other celebrities who have been much more pro-Palestinian than pro-Israel. And when I hear that, I DO end up liking the celebrities a little less.  But I still read their books. I still see their movies. I still watch their TV shows.

I wouldn't want bad things to happen to them. I wouldn't feel they deserve hatred. I wouldn't want them to be canceled.

I think we have to separate those who want to kill us, those who despise us and those who want to take away our rights from those who have controversial, ignorant, or outdated opinions that hurt our feelings. 

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Hannah Ellis Ryan

Coronation Street now has an Australian character played by an Australian actress.

The character's name is Hannah, AND the actress's name is Hannah.

The character is cruelly conning Liz McDonald (Beverly Callard)  into believing she's Liz's deceased daughter. Hopefully the real Australian Hannah isn't doing the same thing to someone.

Of course she's not.

But what if she was?

That would be pretty wild.

I've been trying to find out more about Hannah Ellis Ryan.

I found an article in a tabloid that gives a small bit of information.  Well, they say she graduated from the University of Southern Queensland with a degree in theatre. Then she moved to Manchester.

I wonder why she moved.

The article provides her Instagram account, and I decided I could learn more about this Hannah Ellis Ryan by stalking examining her account.

Oh!

I forgot.

You know what I was curious about.

I thought Ryan looked familar to me, and then I realized she sort of reminds me of that actress from Neighbours. I forgot the name of the actress AND the character she played.

Shit.

Who is she.

She was dating Daniel, into photography....

Amber! Played by Jenna Rosenow.

I was able to figure out Amber with my own brain, but then I needed to Google to find the actresses name.

Is she related to Ryan?

Probably not.

But if by chance she is, maybe I'll see evidence on her Instagram.

Anyway....

Now I'm going to start my fun.

I peered a bit before on my iPhone. I saw Ryan has a LOT of photos. In the beginning, there are mostly food photos. So maybe she started as a foodie account?

Okay. So here's her account. Seeing her profile photo....I'm thinking more and more that she looks quite like Rosenow.

I'm doing a lot of back-scrolling now.

It's taking some time.

While scrolling, I was thinking that this post seems so fun to me because it involves three of my favorite things—Australian actors, looking at photos, and Coronation Street.

I feel I might be scrolling forever.

Ryan is very prolific on Instagram.

I'm seeing she's probably Vegan.

Or she was at some point.

I wonder how many Corrie actors are vegan or vegetarian.

Okay!  I finally got to the beginning.

Ryan's first Instagram photo (unless she deleted some) is a picture of a sweet potato salad.  It was posted in June 6 2013, which is a few months after we got back from our most recent trip to Australia.  This was also a few weeks before my youngest nephew was born. And it was the day before my oldest niece's 12th birthday.

The salad looks okay to me.  I'm trying to remember if I've ever had sweet potato on a salad.

It reminds me a bit of the Aussie thing of having pumpkin on a salad.

Here's a photo of two men looking out a window. Ryan says, the cast is bored.

I'm guessing this was a theater cast. In Australia? Or Manchester?

Here's a photo of Ryan and a birthday girl that she misses. Maybe she's an old friend from Australia? Or I could be totally wrong. It could be a friend from Manchester that moved to Colorado. Or a friend she met at a camp in the US. Who knows....

Here's a photo of avocado toast. I didn't realize it was a thing back in 2013.  Though I remember hearing it maybe began in Australia. So it was probably a thing there back then. Or it could have been not-a-thing, but a few cool people were already doing it.

OR maybe it was already a thing all over the world, and I just took a long time to catch up.

This smoothie looks SO good to me. It's bananas, flax, dates, and cinnamon. That's much more exciting than my smoothies. I usually just have milk and some kind of frozen fruit.  Either way, though, now I'm crazing a smoothie. That being said, I was actually already planning to have a smoothie today. But now seeing Ryan's smoothie is giving me that extra push.

Here's a political cartoon of a cow being milked for money. It makes me feel kind of bad that I'll be making my smoothie with milk. Sorry.

Here's another smoothie. The bubbles look unappetizing to me.  I think it's because I have this fear of not rinsing our dishes well enough. When I see a lot of bubbles, I imagine it's soap.

I wonder if Hannah Ellis Ryan is going to make smoothies for her Corrie co-stars.

Click here to read my online novel The Dead are Online!

Here's Hannah's vegan birthday cake. She posted in on December 26, 2013. So...maybe that's her birthday? Boxing Day Girl.  Though her birthday may have been earlier and she took a few days to get around to posting the photo.

I had to take a long break from this very fun Instagram-activity to get my very overdue pap smear.

Now it turns out I have problems with my female bits as well as my brain bits (which is also female, actually).

It's horribly ironic because....

Many years ago, I got in a fight with my mom, dad, and sister. My sister was going through her own epilepsy drama, and I was stressing about traveling with a young child during the Wes Craven days of my period. I was off birth control at the time, and my periods had gotten obnoxiously heavy.

I did my whining and my mom responded by saying, Are you sure you're not talking yourself into it?

Because somehow I was blessed with the ability to control my menstrual blood with my mind. I wonder if there are any X-Men with that skill??

I was quite angry when she said this and lashed out, asking if they said the same thing about my sister and her problem. Now what I was trying to say is that my parents are dismissive and were they also this dismissive with my sister? Because...well, I can't remember for sure, but I think maybe they had said something in front of me, behind her back, and that's why I said that.

My parents and sister misinterpreted what I said and thought I was being a horrible person by comparing brain issues to female reproductive issues.

Cause you know, female bits don't do anything important...like uh...bring new humans into the world. And it's not like anyone ever dies of female issues, right. Like it's so trivial compared to brain issues.

There was yelling.

I was told to get out...like literally leave the house. Though I think things calmed down slightly, and we didn't actually have to make a dramatic exit.

There were harsh emails sent to me.

And now...

I don't know if I should laugh or scream.

Maybe I'll just beg people to PLEASE not be dismissive of female medical issues. Even if they don't turn out to be dangerous, they can be painful and/or debilitating. Despite what the commercials say, periods are not just a matter of riding on a white horse with a short white mini-skirt. Maybe it's like that for some women, but for other women, it's much more intense than that.

Also, if you have one family member with a major medical drama, don't sit there and be dismissive about the medical issues of other family members. There's no rule from the universe that says each family gets a maximum of one medical drama.

Edited to add 10/11-Thankfully it was a false alarm. I just had an ugly-looking donut (cervix). But besides some minor fibroid things, all is well. My pap smear and vaginal ultrasound had lovely results.  

Anyway...back to Hannah Ellis Ryan!

This blueberry breakfast looks kind of good to me. I think it's oatmeal?

I'm confused by this banana picture. Ryan says it's breakfast on the run. But the banana is on the ground. It's almost like she was banana-littering.

I like this lemon picture. According to the hashtags, it was some kind of morning cleanse.

Here's another drink with too many bubbles. I think I really have an aversion to drink bubbles.

Here's a photo of a place called Didsbury. Is that in Australia? England? Elsewhere?

Googled.

It's in Manchester.

Cool.

I just had an idea.

You know what would be cool...if Hannah Ellis Ryan moved to Manchester because she had been a fan of Corrie.

I like that idea.

I ALSO like the chocolate in this dessert. Or I imagine I'd like it. I like how it looks, at least.

Here's a photo of someone taking a photo of food. I like taking photos of people taking photos. One day I should take a photo of someone taking a photo of someone taking a photo.

Actually, I might have already done that.

Ryan has photos of three dimensional city books. Or maybe they're puzzles. I wonder what's up with that. She has a mention of someone named Wilkfield. Does this Wilkfield make these books? Or she might be traveling to one of the cities, because Wilkfield responds, We can officially start the countdown. 21 dayyyys!

If Wilkfield went to one of these cities (Paris, Rome, or New York), I hope she or he had a fabulous time.

Here is a lovely photo of figs and kiwis. Fruit can be so beautiful.

Here's another banana photo. It's quite ripe. I wonder if Ryan prefers ripe bananas. I like them when they're greenish-yellow. But lately we've been using ripe bananas in our smoothies.

And more bananas! Ryan mentions something called mono-mealing. I guess this is where you eat the same thing all day?

Well, no....

This article says it's eating only one kind of food for one meal. And the article says it's bad for you.

I can understand eating one thing all DAY being bad but for a meal?

Well, maybe if you did it for all meals, things might get unbalanced. But maybe it's not so bad if you do it occasionally.

In the photo, there are five bananas. Was Ryan planning to eat all those in one day? One meal?  I'm not sure that would be very healthy.

And here are a bunch of dates.

I think I'd prefer a bowl of dates for a meal rather than five bananas.

There's no mention of mono-mealing on the dates, though. She could have just been eating them in the usual way.

Here's a photo of Ryan's new bike. Though by now, it's no longer new. The picture was posted in September 2014. She mentions it being a Manchester hipster thing.

I wonder if hipsters worldwide are into bikes. Or is it just an England thing?

Googled and saw hipsters are into something called fixed-gear bikes.

Here's a photo of a Santa with vodka. Ryan says it's from an acting office. There's a Santa storyline on Corrie right now.  Brian (Peter Gunn) thinks he's very good with kids because they are extremely well-behaved around him. But then it turns out, the kids believe he's secretly Santa Claus.

Here's a lovely bowl of fruit.

I'm going to need to buy some dates soon.

Here is a photo of Ryan drinking a yellow drink while wearing a yellow shirt. Or maybe it's orange? Orange-yellow?

Here is a lovely photo of Ryan with a vegan blogger friend.

I wonder if many of Ryan's friends are vegan.

Here is Ryan with a lovely blue, vegan purse.

She is really into living the vegan life.

Here's a photo of Ryan with a new hairstyle.

Here's a photo of a building amidst snow in Manchester. As an Australian, it was probably not too common for Ryan to see snow...especially if she's a Queenslander.

I was just thinking that, so far, I have not seen any photos to indicate that Hannah Ellis Ryan was in any sort of Coronation Street fandom. Though it is possible that she was sort of in one, and it's just the vegan stuff overshadowed the Corrie stuff.

Here is Ryan looking frighteningly serious. She was working on a short film called "Margot".

I found a short film called Margot on IMDb, but Ryan's not in the cast...and it's an American film not a Manchester film.

I can't find the Manchester film...but I can't say I looked very hard.

I'm feeling lazy.

I thought this might be Vegemite, but no. It's homemade jam.

I wonder if Ryan likes Vegemite. And if she does, would she share it with her Corrie castmates?

Is Vegemite vegan?

I know it doesn't have any obvious animal products, but it might have some subtle ones.

Okay. I Googled. And Google is saying that it IS vegan.

Cool.

Here's a picture of a street in Manchester. Ryan says, Early evening stroll in this amazing city...walking new streets.

It's making me want to go to Manchester...someday.

I also feel maybe a little envious. I think it's such a gift to visit or move to a city that excites you.

Though I have had some good feelings about Fort Worth lately. But those feelings aren't as strong as my feelings for Australia, England, Japan, etc.

Wondered about this photo. It's a girl with a box. Hannah says, What's in the box? Find out tonight? The hashtags and mentions are: Contractions, 53two, and gmfringe.

Maybe it's a TV show? Or a web show?

Well, I just looked up gmfringe. It stands for Greater Manchester Fringe. It's a festival.  The last one was in July. I wonder if any Corrie actors were there.

I just had another long break. This time it was a Thai dinner and then that new Netflix show Maniac. We watched the first episode.

I'm not sure if I like it. I hope I do.

So far, it reminds me a lot of Black Mirror. I love Black Mirror, so I think there's a fair chance I'll like Maniac.

And...back to the Greater Manchester Fringe Festival.

Well, I was going to search the festival website to find Corrie actors, but I didn't know how to navigate that. So I just Googled the festival along with Coronation Street.

I found this article. Sue Jenkins directed two plays at the festival.  I'm not sure I know who she is. Is she still on the show?

No....

She played someone named Gloria Todd.  I think she was probably before my time.

Back to Instagram.

Here's a video of Hannah Ellis Ryan dancing.

And here is Ryan as a bridesmaid. The bridesmaids are all wearing white! I never heard of that before. Did the bride wear white as well? Or a different color?

They do look quite lovely.

Here's a picture of someone named jellybellycarroll. I'm getting from the hashtags that she's a director.

Jellybellycarroll comments on the picture: Clutching them beautiful words.

Ryan was complimenting Jellybellycarroll with the photo and captions. It makes me wonder if JellybellyCarroll was complimenting her back.

Maybe Ryan wrote the play/script?

Well, I'm going to take another long break. Because I need to go to sleep.

And now...

I'm awake.

Here is a photo of set-building action. I think it's of one of Ryan's coworkers.

The location of the photo is Hope Studios. Is that a film thing or a theater thing?

Here's their website.  It's a rental place. People can rent dance studios, piano rooms, rehearsal rooms, etc.

Here's Ryan promoting a play called Days of Wine and Roses. The performance was last October. I'm not sure if Ryan was a part of the play; if she liked the play and was promoting it; or if she was promoting it as a favor for someone.

This post was done in October 2017. So I'm getting a bit closer to the present. And there's a bit less food now. Before it was about 90% food posts. Now it's maybe...half and half?

Here's a promotion for another play. It's called Finding Alice. With this one, I think Ryan WAS involved with, because she writes, It’s a full day of this today.... sifting through countless incredibly talented #Manchester faces and swelling with pride that @manchesteradp is embarking on its first full length production!

I WAS thinking that the pride could refer to being proud of her friends. But then someone comments, Congratulations and good luck.

You know I'm wondering if Ryan is liking being on Coronation Street. Since she's used to working on smaller projects, I'm wondering if she usually has more creative control.

She might have been a big fish in a small pond. And with Corrie, she's a small fish in a big pond.

What I'm wondering is, does she hope to someday be a big fish in the big pond? Or might she be content with the small pond? She seems very happy with her theatre projects.

But...

A) You can't really get a true sense of someone's emotional well-being on Instagram

B) Someone can be happy with what they have but still want something different and/or more.

Here's a photo of one of Ryan's young cousins. She's very cute. I wonder if she's in Australia? Or maybe Ryan has family in Manchester? Maybe that's the reason she moved there?

Well, now I've learned that Ryan turned 29 last December. So she'll be having her 30th birthday in a few months. I hope she has a fun one.

I'm thinking this Japanese food looks really good.  Yesterday, while I was at the doctor, Tim and Jack went to an Asian food store. Jack bought and ate some ramen. That made me want ramen. But Tim said he hadn't seen any vegetarian ones.

For dinner we had Thai, though, and that was very good.

I'm wondering about this photo from a trailer of something called Wasp.

Well, I was wondering if it was for a play or short film; then I looked closer and saw it was a theater thing.

Here's a photo of Ryan playing Stella in a play called Things We Want. According to the theater's website, Things We Want is a black comedy. It involves three brothers meeting an apartment neighbor. Ryan is the Smurfette of the story, it seems.  It kind of reminds me of Big Bang Theory. Except in that, the guys aren't brothers.

Here is Ryan's vegan freak shake.  I finally had one a few weeks ago. Our neighborhood ice-cream shop has them now. I think they're going to be pretty much popping up everywhere. We had a s'mores one, and my favorite part about it was the actual s'more.  I thought the milkshake itself was a bit too sweet.

Here is Ryan's first post about Coronation Street!  It was posted on July 18.  I wonder if they had started filming by then. Also, how long did she know she had the part? How long did she have to keep it secret? When did she tell close friends and family?  I'm guessing it was a bit before she posted it on Instagram?

I went a bit backwards to see if there were hints earlier that I might have missed. I clicked on a random photo—a laptop. There are no hints about Corrie, but Ryan mentions having a break after being very busy and wanting to use that time for writing. So, she acts, writes, prepares food.....

I wonder what else.

Here is a photo of Hope Mill Theatre. I think it's a place that's important to Ryan.  I imagine she's going to try to balance her Corrie work with her theater work. I don't think it will be impossible. Corrie has a large ensemble cast, and each character can't be central to the storylines each day.  So I imagine on some days, actors have no work or very little work.

Also, Corrie characters are very often going to visit some relative somewhere out there. They sometimes disappear for weeks or months at a time.

Who will Hannah (the character) visit? Well, probably someone in Australia.

There is a chance Hannah won't stick around. After her scam is discovered, she might be sent packing. BUT she could end up becoming one of those characters who ends up redeeming themselves. Or at least their misdeeds are forgotten. Years later, Hannah might be a main character, and we'll have to remind ourselves that she once cruelly conned Liz McDonald.

Here is Hannah's first Instagram selfie with another Corrie actor. It's Kate Ford who plays the horrible and wonderful Tracy Barlow. She's one of my favorites. That might not be saying much, because I probably have 20-30 favorites on Coronation Street.

I don't think I've seen any scenes with Ford and Ryan yet. From where I'm at, their characters haven't met yet. But I'm about two weeks behind...via Hulu.

I used to be years behind!

Here's a photo of a cat. One thing I've noticed is that Ryan doesn't have a lot of animal photos. I saw a dog. Then there's this cat. I think there were also some goats.  I'm guessing she doesn't have any animal companions. I wonder how she feels about pets. I think vegans typically support adopting cats, dogs, and other rescue pets. They are probably not supportive of buying pets from pet stores or breeders. I don't think they'd support the pet trade.

Here's Ryan's laptop in the Corrie green room. I'm really curious about what it would be like to be a newbie on a soap opera. Is she making friends? Are people being nice to her? Does she feel left out? Are people making an effort to make her feel included? Are there any Corrie actor that are standoffish or cliquey?

I wonder if the other actors and crew make a big deal out of Ryan being Australian. I don't think Corrie has a lot of international actors...at least not since I've been watching.

Here's a photo of Ryan with Beverly Callard. She's another one of my favorite Corrie people.

In the caption, Ryan says, And I can now check "getting papped" off my bucket list I guess.

What does that mean?

Oh!

Okay Googled. It's being followed by paparazzi.

 Here's a photo of a Coronation Street/ITV building. I'm guessing its their studio.

Ryan has a Harry Potter related post. It's a fan-theory thing about Mad Eye Moody being the only wizard who is able to see the true form of Boggarts.

Interesting.

I wonder if Ryan is a Harry Potter fan.

From her Instagram, I get the idea she's not a huge one, or at least she hasn't been a huge one in the last few years.

But she might have been a big fan once upon a time.

I just read the caption on this photo and learned Ryan had a 11 hour filming day. That's pretty intense. And she was probably on screen for less than 10 minutes.

Here is a photo of Ryan with her onscreen NOT-dad (Charlie Lawson).  In the caption, she says,
Well today some paparazzi photos went out of me filming and they are all out and about. Already the comments are flooding in about my looks - how old I look, attractiveness etc. Wow - I thought I prepared myself for the madness on the horizon but clearly not.

I've seen some comments from Corrie viewers. They can be really harsh.

I'm not sure I've seen any about physical appearance, but I have seen comments about acting ability.  I mean in terms of actors in general. I haven't seen any comments yet about Ryan—good or bad.

Well, here is a photo of Ryan with an animal. It's a black dog, and she's wearing a black shirt. So the dog is kind of invisible. It's pretty cool.

Oh! Here is yet another dog.

Here's another play promotion post. It's called the Effect.

The play is about a clinical drug trial and deals with love, neurology, and other things. It sounds interesting to me.

I don't see Ryan on the cast list. She might have helped offstage. Or she might have been promoting as a fan or to be supportive.

Oh! I just saw the play actually ended yesterday.

Here is another freak shake. It looks quite yum.

I'm wondering about this photo caption.  Ryan says,
Most people would brush their hair or put some mascara on when going into one of the biggest TV shows. Not me folks. Meet Hannah - hitting your screens this week.

I'm guessing she means that she didn't get her hair or make-up done, because of the character she's playing. Or if she trying to say that, unlike other soap opera actors, she's not worried about appearance. That would be fine...and kind of cool. But announcing it? I think it kind of ruins the effect.

Here's another animal post. It's a black dog again. The same black dog?

I see that Ryan got a hair cut.  I guess I'll be seeing it in a week or so on Corrie. Unless she wears a wig.That would be a bit tedious. I wonder if Corrie actors have ever gotten in trouble for getting an unexpected haircut. Do they have to get permission?  I mean it might not be in a rulebook. But maybe it's expected.

I'm sure a trim is perfectly fine. But if it's something more drastic?

Ryan's is not a trim, but also not drastic. It's different, but not very different.

Here's another Corrie photo. Ryan says, Just another one of the outfits of Hannah that the UK has to look forward to.

Hello?? UK? What about the rest of us?!  There are some of us here in the US, and I'm pretty sure there are many people in Australia and elsewhere that watch the show.

I imagine Australia will also gain some new watchers because of Ryan.

You know, I don't think I've seen Ryan mention Australia OR her family that much. I wonder if she had unhappiness there.

That being said, I've read the caption of only about 5-10% of her photos. There's a lot of stuff I didn't click on. So I very likely could have missed some things.

Anyway...back to the outfit. I don't like it, but at the same time, I kind of do.

I like Ryan's new red glasses here. She looks very cute with them.

AND...

Now I'm looking at Ryan's most recent Instagram photo; taken yesterday. It's a photo of drinks—orange juice and chocolate not-milk.

The not milk is called mylk. I wonder what it's made from.

Well, the company is called Rebel Kitchen. Their flavors are chocolate, coffee. chai, and matcha.

It's coconut milk.

We had been buying coconut milk a lot a few months ago. Then we stopped. I think it's because Tim didn't like how it tasted when hot, so he started buying almond milk. But then he also stopped with that.

Anyway...I guess I'm done.

I feel like I learned a lot, but I probably learned close to nothing. Because no matter how much people post on Instagram, it really never tells the full story. I don't think it ever even comes close.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Nightly Slideshow in Sydney

Last night, and a night or two ago, I dreamed that Sydney has a slideshow every night.

In last night's dream: I'm talking to Jack and Laura, my almost-Australian-cousin, about the Sydney slideshow. It is now available to watch on iPhone, and this is how I watched a recent one. 

Laura asks me how it was. I tell her it probably wasn't as good as the one she watches on a big screen at her house.  

At some point in the conversation, Laura starts talking fluent French. Jack says something to show he can identify what language she's speaking. Laura seems impressed by this and amused at herself for speaking French. She acts like she just launchd into French accidentally, but I get the idea that she actually did it on purpose.  

We soon get an English translation of what she said. She wants to go on a major caffeine splurge which includes a giant soda.  

In the other dream, it wasn't just a slideshow, but there were nightly fireworks as well.

I think the dreams were inspired by Disney World.

I've been cleaning up my huge photo folder that I used for my screensaver. There are a lot of photos of both Disney World and Australia. So my brain probably combined the two subjects.

I have recurring dreams about certain tourism things—a) an interactive Harry Potter attraction b) A park with shops c) a cruise port with replications of European cities.

I'm wondering if this Sydney slideshow will be added to the list.  

Less Fantastic

Tim and Jack talk a lot about Shake Shack. We've visited the original in Madison Square Park and have also eaten at the duplicates in Tokyo, Washington D.C, Dallas, and Brooklyn.

From what Tim and Jack have told me, the hamburgers at the Madison Square Park Shake Shack are almost mythical. The hamburgers at the other Shake Shacks are pretty much normal hamburgers. They're not bad, but they're not very memorable.They certainly don't live up to the wonderfulness of the Madison Square Park Shake Shack hamburgers.

I think this happens a lot to fantastic restaurants who decide to expand.The copies don't live up to the original.The quality goes down.

I thought about all this after watching the trailer for the new JK Rowling movie—Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald.

I'm not going for an analogy here. I'm not going to say Harry Potter was the Madison Square Park and the Fantastic Beasts are the franchises.

It's more like I was trying to understand my feelings about Fantastic Beasts compared to the Harry Potter series, and Shake Shack came to mind. It's more in terms of levels of liking/loving something.

It's really not Harry Potter vs. Fantastic Beasts, though. It's the books in general vs. the movies.

The books to me are like a Shake Shack burger. There's just something so magical about the series. To me, it felt mythical.  I've never read anything like it, and after reading it, I had a difficult time reading other books. It's like going from Shake Shack to McDonalds. You long for the awesome, but have to be satisfied with mediocre. And kind of everything seems mediocre soon after reading Harry Potter.

The movies on the other hand? To me, they're okay.They're average fantasy movies. I don't think they're awful. Nor do I think they're brilliant. This goes for both the Harry Potter movies and the Fantastic Beasts ones.

If I was the boss of the universe, JK Rowling would stop making movies; stop talking about her characters on Twitter, and instead write more novels.  Of course (obviously!) that wouldn't be my top priority. It would be pretty far below Trump and all that.




Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Bus Money, Hannah's Secret, Categorizing Villains, and Being Indecisive

1. Dreamed about going to Australia.

It's our last day in Australia.  I'm feeling sad about that, which I find sort of funny, because we hadn't even planned on taking this trip.  

The apartment we've been staying at is away from the place I like being, and we have no plans to go back. I don't feel right about asking Tim to take us there. But then I realize something.  I can take the bus and go on my own.  

I talk to Tim about what I'll need on the bus and figure I just need correct change.

I then go out to the bus stop. The bus arrives, and then I realize I don't have the correct change.  

I think of going into the apartment to get it. Then I notice that the line I'm seeing is really two lines. Some people are trying to get on the bus, and others are in line, at a store, to get change. I figure I can go in that line and get change too.  But then I realize the paper money I have in my pocket is American money. That's not going to do me much good.

I go into our apartment building. There's a problem, though. I don't remember which apartment is ours. I do have a feeling it's not on the first floor, so I climb the stairs to the second.  I know which side our apartment is on, but I don't know which door is ours.  I peer through windows a bit which is embarrassing, because there are other people around.

Later, there was a connected dream about Ita Buttrose. Instead of having a blog where I can write my feelings about her....I have some kind of small space on a board. There's someone next to me writing on a space next to mine. I think and talk about my feelings regarding Buttrose. I say she's a feminist but not one who uses offensive means to get her point across. I say she's provocative and then something else, but I can't think of the right word. Then I think of it. It's compassionate. I feel Buttrose is both provocative and compassionate. The person I'm talking to is quiet, almost like they don't agree. But it's hard for me to tell. I explain that these are just the feelings I got from the miniseries.

I move away from my writing board for awhile. When I return, I see the small space, I had left, has been taken over by someone who's written some kind of disclaimer about our trip. It's explaining why we didn't do something in Australia, (or why something wasn't done for us?).  This information has been written before, and I erased it. Now I erase it again. I'm annoyed, because it's taken up my space, and I also feel the the information they posted doesn't need to be public knowledge.  

2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

3. Had conflicting thoughts about the Evie (Philippa Northeast) and Hannah (Cassie Howarth) stuff.

Evie insists that Hannah come clean about cheating on Andy (Tai Hara). She threatens Hannah. Either tell Andy, or she's going to do it for her.

There's a part of me that thinks this is none of Evie's business, and she should stay out of it.

But then another part of me thinks about the secret thing I wrote about in a recent post. Is it fair of Hannah to force Evie to keep such a big secret?  Andy lives in the house with them and keeping such a secret is very stressful for Evie.

On the OTHER hand, Hannah didn't choose to tell Evie. Evie overheard the conversation. She was given the secret accidentally. I think that makes a big difference. It's not like Hannah is in an ongoing relationship with another man, throwing it in Evie's face, and then insisting that she not tell Andy.

4. Finished watching the episode.

5. Started to watch the last episode of Killing Time.

I've not gotten far...Internet problems again.

Or actually, it's a Hulu problem. The rest of my Internet is working okay.

6. Relieved to see it working.

I just had to reload.

7. Glad to see that Andrew managed to listen to his wife's break-up speech without responding in a melodramatic or manipulative way.

8.  Saw that Andrew hasn't lost his manipulative ways.

He's trying to strike a deal where if he's released, he'll give homicide evidence against a prisoner.

That's understandable.

But then when Andrew talks to the detective, he talks about how the prisoners are going to kill him if they know he's been talking to the police. And yeah. That's true. But then he adds, My family needs me.

I'm sure his family would be sad if he died. But needing him? I don't think so.  I think they've been relatively okay while he's in prison.  Before prison, I don't think he was contributing much to the family.  He was so often high on cocaine.  I think he caused his family a lot of stress and unhappiness. Do they really need more of that?

9. Saw that Fraser is free from prison, but he's not completely free.

He has a lot of rules to follow. For example, no alcohol can be consumed by him, or anyone else, in his house.

Also, he has to get permission before having any overnight guests.

10. Saw that Andrew Fraser gets around the alcohol thing by bringing a bottle of wine to his ex's house.

He wants to celebrate. He says, I bloody well made it. He acts like he ran a cross country marathon, or something.

Poor Denise.She's been through so much with her husband's cocaine addiction.

Now Andrew pushes her to celebrate with the intake of yet another drug.

Yes, it's a legal drug. But still. I don't personally feel there's much of a difference.

11.Impressed with how Denise treats Andrew throughout the episode.

She's firm with him but also kind.

12. Started to watch a promotional video about Killing Time with the real Andrew Fraser.

So, he was involved with the series.

That tells me he's matured enough to realize his mistakes, because the series did put him in a negative light.  He wasn't presented as a very sympathetic character.

13. Finished watching the video. It showcased the house where the Pettingill family lived.

14. Started to watch another promotional video. This one has David Wenham talking about Fraser.

Wenham says Fraser is very honest and fully supportive of the project.

I think that's very brave of him. It shows that he probably did have a major transformation and is no longer very manipulative and narcissistic.

15. Learned that Wenham didn't meet Fraser initially, because he worried getting close to him would affect his performance too much.

That makes sense to me.

16. Learned that Wenham and Glenn met the real Andrew and Denise about four weeks into filming.

17. Wondered if Andrew and Denise ever got back together.

18. Wenham talks about love and respect between Andrew and Denise, so if they didn't get back together, they at least remained friends.

19. Started to watch a third promotional video for Killing Time. This one is a short interview with Andrew Fraser.

20. Started to watch another interview with Wenham.

21. Learned that Wenham read Andrew Fraser's books...I guess before filming began.

I'm not sure when, really. But I like that he did research.

22. Went to Random.org to pick my next thing to watch.

It's Kill Me Three Times, starring Simon Pegg.

Pegg is British. But I guess the movie has some kind of Australia connection, because besides Doctor Who, everything on my list is Australian in some way.

23. Went to Kill Me Three Times on IMDb.

It's listed as being from the U.S and Australia.  It was filmed in Perth and in other areas of Western Australia.

24. Saw that Kriv Stenders, the director of the movie, also directed the movie Red Dog.

And there's a Red Dog prequel in the works.

25. Searched for Red Dog on Netflix, and ended up with Clifford the big red dog.

26. Examined the cast list of Kill Me Three Times to find the Australians that are familiar to me.

There's Teresa Palmer, Sullivan Stapleton, Luke Hemsworth, Callan Mulvey, Bryan Brown, and...

No, Daniel Webber. I'm kind of disappointed about that.

Now I'm hoping to see Daniel Webber everywhere.

Although I probably want to see Webber specifically as Oswald. I think I'm in love with that particular performance.

I didn't have much Webber love when I saw him on Home and Away and Sleeping Beauty.

27. Felt sort of excited about seeing Kill Me Three Times despite the lack of Daniel Webber.

I like the other actors.

I loved Simon Pegg in the zombie movie.

That was him, right?

And what was the name of that movie? My mind has gone blank. Well, not my whole mind but the part that holds the name of the zombie movie.

28. Looked at Simon Pegg's filmography.

The movie is Sean of the Dead.

29. Saw that Simon Pegg is going to star with Ben Mendelsohn in Ready Player One.

I think Mendelsohn might become a big star in our family, because he's in that movie AND he's going to be in the next Star Wars movie.  Tim and Jack are really into Star Wars, and Jack and I both loved the Ready Player One book.

30. Looked at the plot of Kill Me Three Times.

Like Fargo, it involves a hit man.

We're on the third episode of Fargo. I had doubts about liking it when we watched the first and second episode. I'm not a big fan of hitman stories, and I don't usually like crime-comedy.

The show is growing on me, though.

I do have some doubts about liking Kill Me Three Times.

If I'm understanding things right, the protagonist is a hitman. I like sympathetic protagonists, and I'm not sure I'll be able to see a hitman as sympathetic.

Well...I guess it's possible.

I liked Webber's Oswald, and he was an assassin.

31. Thought about Fargo.

I don't like the hitman in that, but my dislike might be less about him murdering people and more about him being a prick about it.

There's another guy in Fargo that has killed two people, and he's a sympathetic character.

32. Wanted to say that I don't actually condone murder. It's not something I support. I think it's a very shitty thing.

HOWEVER, I think decent people can be driven to murder.

33. Remembered that having sympathy for characters is a subjective thing. I might have sympathy for a homicidal character that someone else doesn't have any sympathy for. Then they might have sympathy for a character that I don't have sympathy for.

I don't have sympathy for the hitman on Fargo, because I think he's an ass and totally up himself. Someone else might like or relate to someone with that kind of attitude. They might see him as a sympathetic character.

34. Thought maybe characters can be divided into three groups a) sympathetic b) pathetic c) downright hateful.

For me, Webber's Oswald was sympathetic. His Home and Away stalker character was pathetic.

I think for hateful, I'd probably put Dolores Umbridge on the top of the list. Although even with her, there were times I felt bad for her.  But still...she was pretty damn hateful.

35. Started to think the divisions probably won't work for me.

I'm so bad at making divisions that are cut and dry.

I thought of Voldemort. I think he's hateful, but at times I found him to be sympathetic.

36. Decided I'm going to change my categories to sympathetic and pathetic, and leave out hateful.

Also, I guess it would only apply to the villains.  

I think all villains are hateful (to different degrees) but then some are pathetic and some are sympathetic.

37. Decided the divisions still don't work.

I'm thinking of Bates Motel.  When he's not being a scary murderer, sometimes Norman is quite sympathetic, and other times he's really pathetic.

38. Thought that sometimes I'M a pathetic villain, one of my crime beings that I too often try to divide people and their behaviors into categories.

39. Thought about all this while making and eating dinner.

Instead of putting a stop to the categories in my head, I added some.

Now I have four ways of seeing a villain. A) Sympathetic B) Pathetic C) Admirable D) Despicable.

I think most villains are going to elicit all four of those feelings in us, but I think we each will have a primary feeling towards a character.

As for admirable, an example for me there would be Hannibal Lector. Yeah. He's a serial killer, and I'm not into that hobby. Nor am I into people who have that hobby.  But I do admire Lector for his intelligence, humor, and charm...well, at least when he's portrayed by Anthony Hopkins.

40. Wondered how I will see Pegg's Hitman in Kill Me Twice. In order for me to like the movie, I think I'll have to see him as either sympathetic or admirable. I have doubts that I could like a movie with a despicable or very pathetic protagonist

41. Wanted to explain more about the difference between sympathetic, pathetic, and admirable.

Note: I'm doing this NOT to enlighten anyone with my bullshit but to try to get it straight in my own head.

So...

A sympathetic character is one we can relate to, and/or one we can imagine being friends with if it weren't for their crimes.

A pathetic character is the person we'd sit next to in the lunchroom, not because we like them, but no one else is sitting there, and we feel bad.

An admirable character is one we'd think is cool...if it weren't for their crime. They're the ones we fantasize about sitting with in the lunch room, but we wouldn't dare, because we're so beneath them.

Despicable?  That's the person in the lunchroom to whom we want to say.  Just go away. I hate you! And then we spit in their face.

 42. Tried to figure out where I'd put Andrew Fraser from Killing Time...back before he had his transformation.

It definitely wouldn't be sympathetic or admirable.

That leaves me with pathetic and despicable.

I feel compelled to choose one or the other. But I can't.

I really feel a mixture of both. That shatters my theory of people being able to put a character into one main box.

I don't have a main box for Fraser.

43. Thought more about our maybe-Australia trip.

There are things that are making me want to say yes, and things that are making me want to drop the whole thing.

On the yes side: I am now remembering that, although I said the next time we'd go to Australia would be 2022, I did say that I'd go earlier if the dollar went down a lot. It definitely has!

I don't even think I considered there being plane tickets this cheap.

Also, Tim seems pleased with the idea. Though I got this from text, and it's easy to hide emotions on texts. In reality, he could be slapping his forehead with his palm and thinking, Really? Australia? Again?  

I'm joking. That's probably not what happened. I think Tim would be excited to learn we might be going anywhere where the focus isn't a Disney park. Although...Tokyo Disney IS on his birthday trip agenda.

On the negative side: I can see it's going to be a struggle to decide where to go.

My first choice was Brisbane and maybe Melbourne. I kind of considered skipping Sydney all together.

Jack wants Sydney.That makes me feel kind of guilty, because I was the one who used to be so in love with Sydney.

I do still love Sydney, but I want to try something new. Or at least with Melbourne, I feel we've seen less of it.  We've been there once, versus with Sydney, we've been there three times already.

Also, I'm pretty sure Tim wouldn't be happy to go all the way to Australia and just go to Sydney.

The good news is, from what I understood of the flight, you get one free stopover. So we might be able to do Sydney and Melbourne or Sydney and Brisbane.

What I fear though is we're going to start adding things on. Well, since we're there, we might as well go to Sydney, Melbourne, AND Brisbane. While we're at it, why not add Broome as well?

If we go to Australia this year, I want it to be cheap and simple. I don't want it expensive and elaborate. I'll save that trip for when I'm fifty.

43. Played around on Delta.  It's around six hundred dollars to go to Sydney. When I tried to add Brisbane, the price jumped up a lot.

But maybe it's one of those deals where you have to call rather than rely on the website.

44. Played around more, and got sick of the whole thing.

I'm afraid it's going to be a crappy flight with a lack of decent entertainment, and no outlets for charging all our stuff.

I really hate flying.

45. Had more doubts.

The last time we went to Australia, the way back was so incredibly exhausting.  I remember being so tired after taking the flight from Sydney to LAX, and hating the fact that we had to then take another flight to DFW.

If we do this Delta deal, we will have yet ANOTHER stop off. We'll have to go from Sydney to Los Angeles; then Los Angeles to San Francisco, and then San Francisco to DFW.

I think I'd rather wait the few years and take the Qantas flight straight from DFW to Sydney.

46. Thought the deal would be better if we lived in San Francisco.

47. Talked to Tim and told him I changed my mind about maybe going to Australia.

Here's the thing.

I might have six or more years ahead of me where I'm not in Australia.

That's sad.

However, some of my nights during those years will include lovely dreams about Australia.  And most of the days will include Australian TV shows, movies, music, books, etc.

I'm content with that.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online