Aneurysm Surgery, Funny Matt, Peter Rowsthorn, and Nicholas Bell

1. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

2. Relieved to see that Leah (Ada Nicodemou) has finally made the choice to get the aneurysm surgery.

I have sympathy for her fear of the surgery, and I think people have the right to make choices about their medical treatment.

BUT...I think waiting for a aneurism to maybe burst is very nerve-wracking.

3. Thought that there are probably a lot of people who are ticking time bombs. Many of them probably don't know about it which is both a blessing and a curse.

If you know about a condition, you can sometimes take steps to protect yourself. But sometimes the steps are difficult, and people don't have the perseverance.  Or sometimes, like Leah, a person has to undergo frightening surgery.

If you don't know about a condition that's going to kill you, or almost kill you, you can be blissfully ignorant.

Well, it will be blissful until the shits the fan.  Then you and your loved ones, or JUST your loved ones, are not going to be very blissful anymore.

4. Saw Zac (Charlie Clausen) being very selfish.

Leah tells him there are thing she wants to take care of before the surgery.

Zac is dismissive about her worries. He has the attitude of, it's going to be fine. No worries.

I really hate when people act like that towards someone with a medical condition. Do they REALLY think they're doing anyone a favor by giving false and/or dishonest reassurances?

Anyway, then Zac takes things a step further by telling Leah they don't have to talk about it. It's almost like he's presenting it as a favor to her.  At least he could be honest about his selfishness and say, I don't want to talk about it. Instead he acts like he's relieving Leah of the burden to talk about it.

If Leah didn't want to talk about it, then she wouldn't have brought it up.

5. Started watching another episode of Home and Away.

6. Annoyed to see Andy (Tai Hara) and Hannah (Cassie Howarth) together.

I forgot that they undid their break-up.

7.  Liked Matt's (Alec Snow) sense of humor. I think, joke-wise, he's my favorite on the show.

In the episode I'm watching today, he apologizes to Leah for causing her stress. She replies in a loving supportive way but does ask him not to rob anymore ATM machines. Matt says he won't have to, since he's now scratched that off his bucket list.

I think that's cute.

Then when Nate (Kyle Pryor) and Kat (Pia Miller) insist on being there for Matt during his court appointment, he requests that they refrain from heckling.

I know it's not funny when I write it down. I think it rarely works when people try to describe or explain comedy they've seen elsewhere. It's just I didn't want to say I think Matt was funny without having evidence to back me up.  In my school days, I learned that was a no no.

Anyway, I like that Matt can bring light to serious situations. He doesn't do it in an annoyingly avoidant way as some people tend to do. He still takes things seriously. But then he makes a joke or two to help release the tension.

8. Bewildered by what the neurosurgeon (Luke Pegler) says about the aneurysm surgery. He says they don't go through the skull. They go through an artery in the groin.

Did I hear him correctly?

It seems to me that our groins are pretty far from our brains.

Medical stuff amazes me sometimes.

9. Looked at a medical website.

I didn't mishear the doctor.

There really is an aneurysm surgery where they go through the groin.

10. Learned from the website that if an aneurysm is very small, it doesn't need to be treated right away.

I guess this is when they take a watch and see kind of approach.

11. Looked at a website about endovascular coiling, the surgery Leah is planning to get.

There's a lot of scary risks listed, but the website doesn't list how common they are.

The list includes stroke, paralysis of half the body, loss of ability to speak, and rupture of the unruptured aneurysm.

I don't blame Leah for initially not wanting to have the surgery.

 

12. Went to the Tropfest website.

I think it's been awhile since I've been there.

Today I'm going to watch a 2011 finalist film called "The Applicant".

13. Started watching the film.

The actor in it looks familiar to me.

I'll find out who is he later.

14. Saw another actor that looks familiar to me.

Then I realized it's Nicholas Bell.

Or at least I think it's him.

15. Got the idea that the mystery actor played a villain in one of Jonathan Shiff's shows. Maybe Scooter: Secret Agent?

16. Finished watching the film.

It was interesting.

I didn't love it.

I didn't dislike it.

I guess that would mean I like it, but I don't think I really did.

I guess my feelings are between like and dislike.

17. Guessed that I would like the project more if it was the beginning of a TV series rather than a short film.

I think many short films are too long, but then some rare ones are too short.

18. Decided to watch the film again.

It's one of those films where knowing the ending might give a different perspective on the preceding events.

19. Started liking the film.

Knowing what it's all about makes a big difference—at least for me.

Though it would probably ruin the film if it gave away the end at the beginning.

20. Liked the film a lot after watching it a second time.

I still wish it were a TV show, though...now even more so.

21. Saw that the mystery actor is Peter Rowsthorn.

He's from Kath and Kim! He's the husband. I remember now.

What I can't remember is which one is Kath and which one is Kim.

22. Got help from Lord Wiki.

Kim is the younger one.  Peter Rowsthorn played HER husband. Or maybe they were just dating.  I forget.

23. Saw that Peter Rowsthorn was NOT in Scooter: Secret Agent.

24. Saw that Nicholas Bell was recently in a TV show with Rebecca Gibney called Wanted.

Stephen Peacocke from Home and Away was in it too.

25. Looked at the filmography of Tim Dean, the director of "The Applicant".

He also made "Fences". That's the film where the father reluctantly takes his son out on one of his police jobs.

26. Saw that Chris Corbett, the writer of "The Applicant" is pretty established in the business.

He's written for Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Neighbours, The Secret Life of Us, McLeod's Daughters, Blue Heelers, All Saints, etc.

27. Saw that Corbett was a script editor for Wanted, the TV show I mentioned earlier.

28. Learned from Lord Wiki that Nicholas Bell is an English actor.

He's worked in Australia for twenty years.

I guess he hasn't gotten citizenship. Otherwise, I think Lord Wiki would call him Australian.  He'd be an Australian born in the UK...like Naomi Watts, Julia Gillard, and many others.

29. Learned that Nicholas Bell has been a narrator for some audio books.

At least four are religious related.

Is Nicholas Bell into religion? Or maybe he just has the right voice for it.

30. Followed one of Lord Wiki's links, and saw there's a website where you can listen to excerpts from Nicholas Bell's audiobooks.

31. Listened to Nicholas Bell talk about Jesus.

32. Thought that since Nicholas Bell is British, he can one day play The Doctor on Doctor Who.

I don't know why I'm thinking that. I see lots of British actors and don't consider them being The Doctor.

Well, I might have done that when we were in the midst of watching Doctor Who.  But now I don't think of the show very much.

33. Thought that maybe there's a Doctor Who quality to Nicholas Bell.

It could be something about his voice, since I thought about it while hearing the audio book.

Or maybe Jesus made me think of it. Because I was hearing about Jesus when I thought of the Doctor Who thing.

34. Realized it's not really true that I haven't thought much of Doctor Who lately.

We've been watching 12 Monkeys lately—the series, not the movie. There are Doctor Who elements in that.

35. Googled Chris Corbett, and saw from Chrome that I already went to a website about him, and I went to his Twitter page.

I must have already watched something of his.

36. Saw that it was the same thing I watched of Tim Dean, the director.

They made "Fences" together.

37.. Consulted Lord Wiki about Peter Rowsthorn.

Once upon a time, he was a drama teacher.

In the 1980's, he was part of a comedy-singing duo called The Cactus Brothers.

38.. Saw Cactus Brothers videos on YouTube, but they're from the 1990s.

I don't think it's the same thing, but maybe it is.

39.. Learned from this website that there was a Nashville band called The Cactus Brothers.

I think that's what I'm seeing on YouTube.

40. Learned, from Lord Wiki, that Rowsthorn's brother and father are wealthy businessmen.

They worked for a transport company called Toll Holdings.

41. Learned from this website that Peter Rowsthorn was featured on the show Who Do You Think You Are.

He learned about his convict ancestors.

42. Wished I knew more about my ancestors—not just their dates of birth and dates of death; or their jobs or where they got married.

I wish there were diaries.

43. Thought it would be neat if, one day, my descendants (direct or non-direct) read my blog.

44. Imagined my great granddaughter reading my blog in the year 2016.

12 Monkeys is messing with my head.

45. Thought it would be silly of my granddaughter to spend her time-traveling adventure reading a blog.

Although if blog-reading was keeping her busy, she'd have less time and chance to mess up her timeline.

Or maybe not.  She might leave a comment, and that could have an effect. Then she might find her way to Twitter and mess with the time continuum there.

46. Started to watch a Thank God You're Here segment with Peter Rowsthorn.

47. Liked the segment a lot.

It's about property development. Rowsthorn had some very funny lines.

I should watch that show more often.

Being Open About Feelings, Standing in the Way of Love, Safety Supervisors, and Unhelpful Platitudes

1. Had a dream about Home and Away. It involved two characters in a hospital bed. I'm pretty sure one of them was Josh (Jackson Gallagher) I'm not sure about the other one, and I'm also not sure which character in the dream was Josh.

Character A and Character B are both patients at the hospital. They're sharing a room. The two of them usually do not get along. Character B has recently broken up with his girlfriend. Character A tries to get him to admit he's sad. He finally achieves this by talking about how he himself has been sad when that happened to him. This confession softens Character B up a bit.   

I think the message of the dream is that it's easier to reveal our feelings to people who admit they have similar feelings.

I'm not saying people should lie about their feelings. If they've never had such feelings, they needn't make it up.  But people shouldn't deny their own feelings in order to feel and look strong. It's not helpful to themselves; nor is it helpful to the others.

It's like with the hospital scene. What if Character B mentioned the break-up and Character A responded with something like, I've had relationships end. I don't let it get to me. I say good-bye and move on with my life. I don't let these things get to me.

(edited to add 11/11/18-My husband does this to me, and it is SO not helpful)

MAYBE it's the truth; though it's probably not. If it is the truth, maybe it's a truth that doesn't need to be spoken at this particular time.

I think it's just going to make Character B reluctant to share his feelings.

2. Started watching an episode of Wicked Science.

3. Finished watching the episode.

4. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

5. Felt more dislike for Rickie (Bonnie Sveen). She's trying to forbid two people, who have feelings for each other, from getting together.

That's so controlling.

I don't like it when people try to stand in the way of love.

6. Understood that there'd be exceptions—such as relationships where there's strong evidence that it would cause harm to one of the individuals.

When I say harm, I'm thinking of child abuse and/or physical danger/death. I'm not talking about emotional pain.

7. Thought of Wonderland.  There was the storyline where the guy didn't want his best friend dating his sister. That annoyed me.

8. Thought of Scooter: Secret Agent where a girl sabotaged her crushes advances with another girl.

9. Wondered about Coronation Street. On that show, Dev sabotaged a date between Julie and his friend.

That bothered me much less. I think it's because I knew that Dev and Julie had feelings for each other. It was mutual. They just hadn't come together yet.

A mutual love that hasn't blossomed yet is different from a one-sided love that may or may not blossom in the future.

The thing is, though, I knew it as a viewer that it was a mutual love. Dev didn't know...although there were hints to it.  But still. I think he was in the wrong, even though, on an emotional level, I found it to be kind of sweet.

10. Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to start watching the 2010 finalist films.

2010 is the year we went to an Australian-themed store in London, and met up with our Australian friends in Hawaii.  Yeah...just thought I'd share that random piece of information.

11. Started to watch the first film on the page for 2010.

It's called "There Had Better Be Blood".

12. Saw that this film might fit together with the theme of yesterday's film—brothers.

The mother in this film says, You're brothers. You're supposed to stick together.

Last night, one of my other dreams involved a child who murdered his twin when they were both younger. I think the dream was an argument against what I wrote about yesterday regarding sibling love. I think I dreamed it to remind myself that sometimes the relationship between siblings is far from loving and supportive.

13. Finished watching the movie.

I can't say it impressed me much.

It's one of those stories where I find nothing likable about any of the characters.

Watching the film reminds me of going to social events where the people are totally not my people.  I feel snobbish against them, and at the same time, I'm pretty sure they don't like me.

14. Saw from IMDb that Nathan James, the actor who played the dead guy in "There Had Better Be Blood" has done stunt work in a lot of films and TV shows.

He also often works as a safety consultant or supervisor. I'm guessing that means he tries to prevent injuries in other stunt workers.  He probably also helps to prevent injuries in actors that perform their own stunts.

15. Looked at Nathan James' profile page on a stunt website.

It lists actors he's done stunt work for. One of the actors is Dominic Purcell. I feel I've heard that name before, but I don't know what from.

16. Saw that Dominic Purcell was in Prison Break.

I haven't watched that; nor have I seen the other things on his filmography.

17. Went to the website of Action Stunts Australia. They list Nathan James as one of their Safety Supervisors.

As for their services, they say, OUR SAFETY SUPERVISORS are highly skilled and OH and ;S qualified. They are attuned to both the needs of the production company whilst keeping in line with the MEAA, SPAA Safety Code and current OH and S practices. All of our Safety Supervisors are forward thinking, team orientated and committed to ensuring your workplace is a safe environment.

18. Wondered if most TV shows and movies have a safety supervisor.

Is it legally required?

It's not something I've seen in short film credits, so I don't think it's an enforced law in that situation.

But maybe in bigger productions it is?

19. Thought that whether it's a law or not, it's probably a good idea to have a safety supervisor.

20. Consulted Lord Wiki about film accidents.

There's been a lot of them through out the years.

21. Saw this article which says that camera crew are more often injured than stunt people.

One of the reasons seems to be that the stunt people are offered more protection.

22. Looked at the deaths listed for camera people.

It seems a lot of them died in helicopter accidents.

Are helicopters that dangerous; or are the camera people being asked to take excessive risks with the helicopters?

23. Looked at Lord Wiki's list again and saw that crew members from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome collapsed because of heat exhaustion.  Lord Wiki says it was 146 degrees.

Do places really get that hot?

I forgot what the earth's heat records are.

But anyway, if it's incredibly hot, I think it's irresponsible to push people to keep working.

24. Thought that the more I look through this list of injuries, the more I think it's important to have a well-trained safety supervisor on set.

25. Wondered if safety supervisors are ever pressured to look the other way by pushy, overzealous directors.

26. Understood that honest accidents happen sometimes.

But I think there are also cases where people are pushed too hard.

27. Started to watch another episode of Home and Away.

28. Wondered if what I'm seeing on the show reflects reality or not.

Phoebe (Isabella Giovinazzo) is paranoid  about her stalker-kidnapping returning.  She talks to policewoman Kat (Pia Miller) who won't give her any information and just assures Phoebe that she doesn't need to be concerned. The stalker is in custody.

Phoebe is rightfully upset about this.

Is Kat just being annoying, or is there a law that says victims of crimes can't get information about their perpetrators sentencing and whereabouts?

 29. Tried Googling for information, but I don't really know how to go about it.

I'm not sure which terms to use.

30.  Thought Kat was very bitchy to Chris (Johnny Ruffo). She threatened to arrest him for defamation because he asked about her love life.

I can't see how she would have the grounds to arrest him, and I think it's wrong for a police officer to make false threats against a civilian.

31.  Figured I might have to add Kat to my Home and Away dislike list.

So far, it would just be her and Rickie.

32. Consulted Lord Wiki about Johnny Ruffo.

His career began with him being a singing contestant on the X-Factor.

33. Started watching a video of Ruffo's audition.

Back in those days (2011) he was a construction worker.

34. Saw that Ruffo has a Michael Jackson type voice.

35. Relieved to see Kat doing something kind.

She obtained the information Phoebe wanted about the stalker.

36. Saw Phoebe looking relieved.

It makes me think about how people sometimes feel they're being helpful by trying to shut up someone else's worries.

They say things like, You'll be fine. You don't need to worry about that. We'll cross that bridge when IF we come to it.   

If we're going to dismissively reassure someone, we should at least have facts to back up our statements.

Feeling Overwhelmed, Feeling Like a Pest, Daniel Miller, and Fitness Room Memories

1. Dreamed that, I'm overwhelmed with watching Australian TV shows. It's like I have too much to watch in one day and feel I won't be able to do it. I'm starting new shows without finishing old shows. It's all a confused mess. What makes it really hard is I have a time-consuming babysitting job.

Then I remember that I had planned to be watching only Neighbours and Home and Away for the rest of the year. The idea of going back to this makes me think things will get easier. Although then I soon remember Neighbours is no longer available to me.

Then I also dreamed that, Adam Hills appears on an American TV show. He's doing less comedy and more political commentary. He says something that my family finds offensive. They don't like him. I turn to Tracey, an Australian, and tell her I used to like Adam Hills, but then at one point he said something to offend me. My getting offended seemed to have happened way before my family saw Hills and got offended.  

3. Wondered why I dreamed about Adam Hills. I haven't thought about him lately.

Then I had an idea. We saw the Hoop De Doo Revue show last Saturday. I think one of the singers may have subconsciously reminded me of Hill—the way he looked and his voice. Although instead of an Aussie accent, the guy performed with a southern accent—quite similar to The Walking Dead's Governor. The guy was like an Adam Hills-David Morrisey hybrid.

4. Started watching an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

5. Thought about when I first started watching the show.

I thought Scooter (Martin Sharpe) was annoying. I didn't like him.

Now he's grown on me. I think he's quite endearing.

6. Felt that the spies and their behavior towards Scooter reminds me some of my lucid dreams.

There's this place I sometimes go. I call it Dream City. There are offices in office buildings. I ask for help from the people who work there, and they seem annoyed by me. They seem to see me as a pest, just as the spies see Scooter as a pest.

7. Looked at the filmography of Steven Grives, who plays one of the agents that gives Scooter a hard time. I saw that he played Catherine McClement's difficult ex-husband on Water Rats.

8. Watched the last episode of Scooter: Secret Agent while in the workout room.

I think it was a decent finale.

9. Went to Random.org to pick my next thing to watch.

It's a movie called Wyrmwood.

I have no idea what that is.

10. Saw on Netflix that Wyrmwood is a zombie movie!

That might be fun.

11. Saw from IMDb that Wyrmwood was filmed in Sydney and is an Australian movie.

12. Looked at the filmography of Kiah Roache-Turner, the writer and director of Wyrmwood.

Wyrmwood is his first full-length movie.  He also has two film shorts listed on IMDb.

Speaking of short films....

13. Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to watch a 2008 animated short film called "Fault"

14. Started watching the film.

It's computer animated, so it kind of feels like a Pixar short.

15. Finished watching "Fault".

It was cute...in a computer animated kind of way.

I can't say it was overly interesting to me. I don't think it was my kind of thing.  However, I kind of have something on my mind right now that might have distracted me. If I was less distracted, I might have liked it more.

16. Saw that Dan Miller, the writer, producer, and director of "Fault" was the art director and 3D artist for "The Story of Ned".

Besides those two projects, he doesn't have anything else on IMDb. I wonder why.  Has he stopped making films?

Did he give up on an animation career? Did he decide he prefers a different career?

Is he still alive? Is he okay?

17. Tried to find Dan Miller.

It's not easy, because it's not exactly an unusual name.

I'm guessing there are a lot of Dan Millers out there.

For example, there's a Daniel Miller who wrote a piece for the ABC about George Lucas changing the original Star Wars movies.

Could this be the Dan Miller who made "Fault"?  Maybe he went into journalism, and the topic would fit him. It's about computer visual effects.

18. Went to Daniel Miller's page on the ABC. They say he's been a journalist and producer for the ABC since 2010. Maybe he switched gears career-wise?

OR maybe he was always a journalist, and the short films are something he did on the side...for fun.

The ABC Daniel Miller has written a lot of articles about Star Wars and video games; though he's also written about political and current event stuff.

19. Guessed that this Daniel Miller is the same who made the film.

But I might be very wrong.

20. Saw from Daniel Miller's Twitter that his location is Brisbane.

On Tropfest, the location listed for "Fault" is ACT.

That gives me some doubt that the Daniel Millers are one and the same. Though it's quite possible that filmmaker Dan Miller relocated to Brisbane.

21. Felt it was best if I gave up on the Daniel Miller mystery.

22. Went back to the workout room and watched an episode of Home and Away.

I'm usually not a fitness room kind of person. I think this time I'm liking it, because it's right next to our room, and there's hardly anyone in it.

23. Figured out another major thing about the fitness room. In the past I never had a way to watch my own shows while exercising. I didn't have mobile Hulu, and headphones. Watching a show I want to watch makes exercise so much more enjoyable.

I think a treadmill or exercise bike with no decent entertainment is tortuous.

24. Had vague memories of using a fitness room at a hotel many years ago. If I remember correctly, what I watched on the provided television was news of Steve Irwin's death.

25. Googled and saw that Steve Irwin died on September 4, 2006.

Sometime in September 2006 we were at a hotel for Tim's family reunion. Tim, Jack, and many others went to the beach. I stayed behind because I had my period.  I wasn't in the mood for a beach. Plus, I probably just needed some time alone.

I wonder if I was watching news soon after Irwin's death. Or maybe it was a week or so later?

It could have been the funeral.

26. Consulted my past via Livejournal.

We were actually at a homeschooling conference around the time of Steve Irwin's death.  It looks like we were in Florida from the 15th-24th. Would they have had news coverage about Irwin's death that many days later?  Or is my memory playing tricks on me?

27. Googled and found out the big memorial service was on September 20.

I guess that's what I saw.

Or I'm remembering a dream.

I don't know.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Koalas, Subspecies, Impressive Parents, and Guitars

1. Dreamed that we're riding on a bus through a wooded area.  I see a koala that's low in the trees. He's very easy to see. I point it out to Jack and Tim. Tim then says something like, "I wonder what kind of koala that is".

2. Wondered if there are different kinds of koalas.

I don't think there are. But I'll check just in case.

3. Glad I checked.

Lord Wiki says there are three subspecies of Koala—Queensland Koalas, New South Wales Koala, and Victorian Koalas.

The Queensland koalas are the smallest and the Victorian ones are the biggest.

4. Read more from Lord Wiki and saw it's debated about whether the koalas are really different subspecies.

From what I'm reading, it seems to me that saying a Queensland koala is a different subspecies than a New South Wales or Victorian koala is equal to saying a person from Finland is a different subspecies of human than a person in Korea.

5. Tried to figure it all out.

From what I understood, from our Crash Course Biology lessons, an animal is the same species as another animal if they can breed and have fertile offspring.

Although a poodle and golden retriever look very different; they can still have sex and have a baby that might one day have it's own baby.

I'm not sure, though, what a subspecies refers to. Is a poodle a different subspecies than a golden retriever?  We use the term breed. What does that meant?

6. Learned from Lord Wiki that breed is a term used for domesticated animals.

7. Consulted Lord Wiki about the definition of subspecies. It goes way over my head, but I'm trying to understand.

I THINK what he's saying is that in order for there to be a subspecies division between animals, the genes between the two groups have to be different enough.

With koalas, scientists have not found enough genetic difference. So that's why there are disagreements about the subspecies division.

8. Learned that words "population" and "race" can used for the divisions of groups that are not different enough to qualify as subspecies.

I think with humans we also often use the word ethnicity or ethnic groups.

9. Went to the Australia Koala Foundation. They have a page about taxonomy. I want to see what they say about the three types of koalas.

10. Read the page. They say there is debate among scientists about whether there are three subspecies of koalas, two subspecies, or none.

11. Started to watch an episode of Scooter Secret Agent.

12. Liked that, on the episode, a girl (Greta Larkins ) refuses to accept her father's (Brian Lipson) declaration that he obsessively plays chess for her.

The daughter expresses surprise that he was willing to purposely lose to save her from a kidnapping. He says, why do you think I do all this in the first place?

She replies, Please don't tell me it's all for me, dad. I wouldn't believe it.

The sad thing is, parents like that probably DO believe they are pursuing careers and hobbies for the benefit of their children.

I think it happens with grandparents too.

Sometimes adults do this because they believe the best way to win the love of the children, in their life, is to impress them.

Other times, it's probably about being self-centered but not wanting to take on that label.

I think it's totally fine for parents to have careers and hobbies. I mean it's more than fine. It's great.

It's not so great, though, if the child is often neglected, or if the child often has to make sacrifices in order for the parent to pursue their career or hobby.

Let's say a parent often misses his child's birthday party or other important event because of his hobby or career. It's sad enough as it is, but even worse if the parent tries to say he's doing all this for his child.

Sometimes the parent will put the family through sacrifices, because doing so will bring in more material wealth for the family.  Yes. I missed all your birthdays, don't know the names of any of your friends, and have no idea what TV shows you watch. But I've been busy working, so we could afford your iPhone, Playstation, hoverboard, and trips to London.

In some cases, at certain ages, a child might prefer the material goods to adult attention.

Actually, I think this is the case with many people of all ages and stages. I think most of us are quite greedy when it comes to material things. I think the exception is with people who DON'T get the attention and love they desire. Then it becomes: No! I don't want a five hundred dollar Amazon gift certificate. I want you to spend time with me and show that you're interested in me.

13. Thought again about how other adults imagine their hobbies and/or career are important for their children, because they think it's important to be someone that their children can be proud of.

I do think it would be lovely if I could be the cool mother and aunt who also happens to be a successful writer. I'd love for my son, nieces, and nephews to brag about me to their friends. That would be fantastic...for ME.  I don't think, though, that it would make me a better mom or aunt. What the children in my life need from me is my attention and love. My lack of success and impressiveness does not detract from my ability to give these two things to the kids in my life.

14. Did feel that things can go bad in the other direction—a parent or grandparent who has no life outside his or her kids and therefore becomes overbearing.

I'm already overly interested in Jack's life—to the point of annoying him, sometimes. If I didn't have Australia, Coronation Street, my blog, and other things...I'd probably be a very much hated mother.

15. Thought more about parents who can afford to give their children awesome, expensive gifts.

I think the decent ones takes their child out to lunch and then hands the child a close-to-perfect gift ....BECAUSE they know the child so well.  The not so good parent is too busy to take their child out to lunch. So in lieu of a lunch date, they mail the child a check for a few hundred dollars.

16. Met an Australian woman that was working at our Disney Hotel. She was very friendly. Tim did more talking than I did. I was feeling kind of shy, which is kind of unusual for me these days. It was almost like I was starstruck.

17. Found the 2008 Tropfest film I'm going to watch tonight.

It's called "Blues for the Soul".

18. Started watching the film.

The beginning sounds like some kind of New Age nature sounds album.

19. Thought that the movie seems like a documentary.  Is it? Or is it a pseudo-documentary?

I didn't consider that Tropfest might have documentaries

20. Disagreed strongly with that the musician in the movie says about music.  It's the key really to unlocking a lot of people. Or getting people to forget their hassles and their hangups...and how bad things might be....

I can't make out the rest of what he says.

But anyway.  I feel the opposite is true. I think music can very much remind us of our problems.

In the summer of 2014, I was sad about something in my life. The Lumineers song "Stubborn Love" really got to me, because there were lyrics that reminded me of the sad thing. I rarely get sad about the issue anymore, but the main exception is when I hear that song.

I think music doesn't take us away from our problems. I think it makes us think about them but sometimes it's in a healthy cathartic way.    

21. Started to get the idea that this film really is new age. There are shots of candles, and words such as "soul" and "resonate" are used.

I'm not sure what resonate means, but it sounds spiritual to me.

22. Saw from this dictionary that resonate can mean, to have particular meaning or importance for someone : to affect or appeal to someone in a personal or emotional way.

It doesn't have to be spiritual, but in the case of this film, I think it is.

23. Thought that this movie isn't my type of thing. For the most part, it's just a guy playing guitar, and once in awhile he says something.

I think fans of guitar playing might appreciate it much more than me.

I like the sound of a guitar if it's mixed in there with vocals and/or other instruments; and if I listen to it while doing other things. I don't really enjoy watching someone play. It's not that interesting to me.

24. Felt that I wouldn't mind seeing someone a close up of someone's fingers on a guitar for about twenty or thirty seconds, but this is going on for much longer than that. The film is six minutes long, and most of it is just the guitar playing.

25. Finished the film.

I didn't like it.

I hope it finds it's way to people who'd appreciate it more.

26. Read a lovely review of the film on IMDb.

Planktonrules says: "Blues For The Soul" is a short documentary about a man named Peter Crowe who lives in Australia. While he does not have any albums on Amazon.com nor any prestigious record contracts, he has a deep and abiding love for his music. Some might give up or seek the limelight--Peter just wants to play the blues. His slide guitar is great to listen to and you can't help but wish he'd produce an album...but Peter just lives in the middle of nowhere and plays. There is a real nobility about a man who loves his art like this....

Even though I didn't enjoy the film or the music, I can understand Planktonrules's point. I appreciate that he appreciates the film.

27. Felt that I probably gained more from the review than the actual film.

I think the basic idea I get from the review is that fame is not synonymous with talent. There are many people out there who enjoy their art and are good at it, but they're not rich and famous from it.

28. Realized that I'm not actually sure if it's true that Peter Crowe didn't seek the limelight.

Maybe he said something along those lines in the film. I might have daydreamed through that part.

Or is Planktonrules making assumptions?  Is he thinking that if someone isn't out there selling albums and doing concerts, it's because they have no interest in that.

29. Re-watched the speaking parts of the film.

I didn't hear Peter Crowe or the narrator/filmmaker say anything about Crowe not seeking the limelight.

It does sound like he's happy playing for his local Tasmania community, but that doesn't mean he didn't dream big at some point in his life.

It's like I'm quite satisfied being a blogger, but there have been times in my life that I've worked hard to sell my novels and screenplays.

30. Saw that Dean Preston, the director of the film has made two other short films. From their description on IMDb, they seem to be narrative rather than documentary.

31. Saw that there's an Australian Dean Preston who's a photographer. He seems to mostly take photos of female models.

I'm wondering if the photographer Dean Preston is the same Dean Preston that made the short films.

32. Found an Australian Dean Preston on Twitter. He's a photographer and filmmaker. I'm guessing then that the filmmaker is the same guy as the photographer. Though it could be that this Dean Preston made "Blues for the Soul", and takes photographs that are not of the female models I saw. Or it could be the Dean Preston who takes photos of female models, and he makes films but not the "Blues for the Soul" film.

33. Followed one of his Twitter-to-Instagram links and saw Twitter Dean Preston does take photos of female models.

34. Read some of Dean Preston's Tweets and got the idea that the director of "Blues for the Soul" and the photographer of pretty women are one and the same.

He Tweets about gratitude, which, in certain doses, feels New Agey to me.

35. Saw on Preston's Twitter that Peter Crowe has sadly died.

And well...now I know for sure I have the right Dean Preston.

Youthful Cast, Herbert Hoover, Kevin Rudd in NYC, and Cairnes' Horror Stuff

1. Started to watch an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

2. Saw that Bud Tingwell is in this episode.

He looked familiar to me, but I didn't know who he was. IMDb had to inform me.

Another person I recognized, on the episode, is Nikolai Nikolaeff from The Saddle Club.  I knew right away it was him, but this might because I saw his name, a few weeks ago, when I first looked at Scooter: Secret Agent on IMDb. 

3. Started watching an episode of Home and Away. 

4. Decided I might enjoy Home and Away more if I consider it a teen show.

It's more similar to shows like Charmed, Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Diaries, and Beverly Hills 90210 than it is to shows like Neighbours and Coronation Street. 

The other day I tried comparing it to Days of our Lives, but from what I used to watch on DOOL, it was not as youth-oriented as Home and Away.

The main characters of Home and Away seem to all be under thirty and very attractive. There are some older adults, but they don't seem to really have their own storylines. Their roles seem to be more about supporting the younger cast.   

5. Thought of 1988-1990 Home and Away. It was definitely less youth-oriented.  

6. Learned about Herbert Hoover in our history class today. It turns out he spent a lot of time in Australia doing mining work.  

7. Saw that Herbert Hoover actually has an entry in the Australian Dictionary of Biography.

Wow! I'm not sure if I've ever seen a non-Aussie in there. 

8. Learned that Hoover came to Western Australia when he was in his early twenties. 

9. Got the idea that Hoover's contributions to Australian mining were more positive and impressive than his contributions to the US as our president.  

10. Learned about the Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast in Gwalia Western Australia.

Hoover directed the building project but then moved away to China before it was finished.

He did, however, stay in the lodging for some time in 1902. 

11. Saw from Google Maps that Gwalia is around nine hours west of Perth.  

12. Thought it would be a good driving trip for those interested in mining. You'd also pass through Kalgoorlie. 

13. Saw that the rates for the Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast are quite reasonable. It's $150 for an ensuite room.  

Since the price is low, it kind of makes me wonder if it's lacking air-conditioning.  

I would think it gets very hot in that area.

14. Read some reviews of Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast on Trip Advisor. They're very positive. And the place DOES have air-conditioning. 

15. Wondered if Herbert Hoover spent more time in Australia than any other US president.

16. Wondered which Prime Minister of Australia spent the most time in the US?  Did any of them ever live here? I don't think any did, but I could be wrong.  

17. Learned from Lord Wiki that Kevin Rudd lived in the US in 2014.  He did/does foreign policy type work.

Is he still there?

18. Found an article/interview, from October 2015, about Rudd living in NYC. I'm guessing, since it's only three months later, that he's still there. 

19. Learned that Rudd goes to China about every two months. This makes sense, because his job in New York is being head of the Asia Society Policy Institute.

20. Liked what Rudd says here. By instinct I’m a global citizen, and I have lived out of Australia for many years – I feel very much at home in different parts of the world.

I like the mindset of being a global citizen.

21. Liked what Rudd calls his three-year-old granddaughter—a threenager.  Did he make that term up?

We had a threenager in our family, and now she's a REAL teenager.

22. Googled and saw that Rudd didn't invent the term threenager.

23. Read definitions of threenager, and it pretty much sounds like a typical three-year-old to me—moody and stubborn.

I was picturing something else, but I'm not sure I can explain it.

Maybe it would be a child who seems quite keen to join the teen and/or adult world.

I picture little divas who want to be the center of attention.

24.  Thought about something I read in my old blog post that I read today. It was along the lines of behavior not being determined by age.

Age is a factor to some degree. Of course. But I think temperament trumps that. A flexible, easygoing teenager was probably fairly flexible and easygoing as a toddler. A shy ten-year-old was likely also shy when she was three. A bossy preschooler will probably be bossy when she's college-aged.

Then again, it could go in the opposite direction. An easygoing three-year-old might have bottled up feelings of rebellion that she finally lets out when she's fourteen.

25. Felt I might be wrong, but I don't know.

Is our behavior determined more by age or our general temperament?  Does my personality have more in common with other people in their early forties; or does it have more in common with Dina at age seven and Dina at age twenty-two?

26.  Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to watch a 2008 film called "Beggar's Belief".

27. Started watching the film.

A beggar is telling people his wife has cancer and their car was stolen.

Is he telling the truth?

28. Saw that the guy is probably lying.

It's another case of someone lying about cancer.

With all this fake cancer in the world, how are the real cancer victims going to be believed?

29. Thought that film was a great morality tale.

It was creepy and suspenseful.

30. Looked at "Beggar's Belief" on IMDb.

It was filmed in Ballarat, which makes sense. It takes place in Ballarat.

31. Saw that the movie was written by Colin and Cameron Cairnes.

I'm going to guess they're brothers.

32. Saw that Colin Cairnes was the director. I wonder if he wrote most of the movie or if the writing was split pretty evenly?

33. Wondered why I'm asking dumb questions.

34. Felt I was actually being a bit dishonest.

I don't really give a crap what percentage of the film was written by which Cairnes brother.

I think I was just trying to be conversational.

It's like when you're at some social event stuck talking to someone you'd rather not talk to. And then you ask rhetorical questions you really don't give a crap about just to fill the silence.

35. Saw that Cameron Cairnes was the writer and director for 100 Bloody Acres.

I might have heard of that before. It sounds familiar.

36. Saw that I knew of some of the actors in the 100 Bloody Acres cast—Damon Herriman, John Jarrett, Anna McGahan, Angus Sampson,

37. Noticed that Cameron AND Colin Cairnes wrote and directed 100 Bloody Acres.

I missed that before.

I'm tired.

38.  Watched the trailer for 100 Bloody Acres.

It looks gruesome.

The jokes didn't make me laugh, but maybe they work better in the actual film than the trailer.

Sometimes I think jokes in trailers feel too forced.

Or there's that feeling that the movie is saying, Look I'm funny! I have jokes. Come see me!  

And then I want to reply.  Are those all your jokes? Are they your funniest? If those are your best jokes, why do I need to see the movie?

If I see a trailer for a comedy and nothing makes me laugh, it's hard to feel motivated about seeing the movie. If it does make me laugh, then I wonder if that's it. Is there any point in seeing the movie? What if the funniest parts are in the trailer, and it doesn't get any better?

I think sometimes, though, it works out that the movie is funnier than the trailer...or at least more entertaining.

There are movies better than their trailers.

There are also trailers that are better than their movies.

39. Looked at the Cairnes' upcoming film. It's a horror movie called Scare Campaign.

Ian Meadows, from The Moody's, is one of the stars.

40. Saw that John Brumpton is in the movie.

I feel like I've seen his name on IMDb recently, but I don't know why.

He was on many episodes of season one of Tangle, but I don't remember him.

41. Saw that the cast of Scare Campaign has two actresses from SeaChange—Sigrid Thornton and Cassandra Magrath.

I remember Thornton's character. I don't know who Magrath played.

42. Wondered if maybe Magrath played Thornton's daughter.

43. Got idea from Lord Wiki that I'm right.

Thornton's and Magrath's characters both have the last name Gibson.

44. Watched the teaser trailer for Scare Campaign.

It looks scary and gruesome.

45. Felt that from what I saw in "Beggar's Belief" and the two trailers, the Cairnes brothers are good with horror.

46. Hoped I wasn't making a mistake about the brother thing.

47. Saw, that in 2007-2008, Colin Cairnes directed a TV show in Singapore called Parental Guidance. 

Surprisingly, it doesn't seem to be a horror thing.

48. Learned from Lord Wiki that 100 Bloody Acres received positive reviews from critics.  I actually saw that mentioned in YouTube comments, but I didn't give it much attention.

One of the critics compared the movie to Shaun of the Dead.  I liked that movie, so maybe I'd also like 100 Bloody Acres.

49. Saw that the movie was nominated for awards—best screenplay, best supporting actor, best actor, and best actress.

50. Found an interview with Colin and Cameron Cairnes.

I think I'm going to read that, and then end this.

I'm really tired.

51. Learned that the brothers have been working together since they were teenagers.

52. Felt relieved to learn that they are indeed brothers.

It seemed highly likely that they were—same last name and the first name alliteration.

But I felt guilty making assumptions.

53. Reminded of my own sibling relationship when reading that Cameron and Colin watched a lot of 1970's and 1980's horror movies.

My sister and I did that; though probably more 80's than 70's.

54. Looked at another article even though I said I wouldn't. It's just I feel conflicted about quitting too soon.

Plus, the article is in Fangoria. I remember looking at that magazine back in the 80's. I might have even bought a few issues.

Anyway, the article/interview says that 100 Bloody Acres has more Aussie references than the other Australian horror movies that have been released recently.

Because of that, I'd really like to see it. Maybe it's on Netflix or Hulu?

55. Checked my to-watch list and saw 100 Bloody Acres is already on it.

So...that's probably why it sounded familiar to me.

Hopefully, I'll end up watching it soon.

Edited to add 4/12/2024- Last night I was listening to the most recent episode of the podcast Weird Crap in Australia.  The episode is about the Cowra breakout.  But what stood out to me is in their rambling they mentioned the new movie Late Night with the Devil. I looked it up and watched the trailer.  I'm very intrigued.  I haven't been this hyper-focused on possession since around Halloween time in October 2022 when I happened to learn about Ronald Hunkeler .

In the past few days, I've taken a few steps back into watching short films.  I decided to watch one of the films from the writer/director of Late Night with the Devil and ended up seeing indication that I had watched or at least started to watch Beggar's Belief already.  And then I saw that I had already given it a thumbs up.  I figured I had watched it for my blog...since it's Australian.  I expected to find I had mentioned it briefly and was pleasantly surprised to find I had blabbed on quite a bit about it.

Also I had recently watched an interview with Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement where one of them complained about American movie trailers.  While watching it, I thought about how I agreed with them.  And so I was also pleasantly surprised that 2015-Me not only agreed but had written about it.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Fire Hazards, Sophie's Dangerous Mistake, MIIF, and Movie Love

1. Dreamed that Nicole Kidman is on a reality TV competition show. I ask some people what she'll be doing on the show. They tell me she's doing something with a chicken.

I think she was going to walk a chicken, but now I'm not 100% sure. I am pretty sure, though, that it was a live chicken. I don't think it was a cooking challenge.

I also dreamed something about Melbourne and one of my sisters. I think maybe she showed interest in going there. It had something to do with an aquarium.

2. Started watching an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

3. Finished watching the episode.

4. Saw from Google and Twitter that Russell Crowe had a Twitter tantrum about his kids' hoverboards not being allowed on a Virgin flight.

I'm guessing this is a case of a rich, spoiled celebrity wanting special treatment.

Or is there any chance his fight was righteous? Are hoverboards not as much a fire hazard as the airline industry believes?

5. Skimmed through this article about the fire issues—enough to side with the airlines about the ban.

6. Thought Russell Crowe was a bit ridiculous with this Tweet.  I'm awaiting your reply, where is your duty of responsibility in this? Why not tell me when I am booking my ticket?

Are hoverboards so prevalent that airlines need to warn people when they're purchasing their ticket?

7. Wondered if there are warnings about not being able to take liquid containers over three ounces.

There might be. The thing with that is a lot of people DO bring liquids on board, or at least they used to.

8. Could have a little sympathy for Crowe. We recently had a situation where we didn't read the fine print and had an unhappy surprise at the airport.  We were annoyed about it and thought a massive mistake had been made. Then we managed to find the pertinent fine print.

However, our situation didn't involve a fire hazard or anything that would have caused harm to ourselves and others.

9. Remembered that we continued to be annoyed after reading the fine print, because we felt it was an unfair rule. But we realized we'd have to swallow at least part of the blame for not reading carefully enough.

In the Russell Crowe case, I don't think it's an unfair rule to ban something that's a fire hazard.

10. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

11. Realized I might start liking the show more when I get to know the characters.

12. Decided that the character that interests me the most, at this point, is a girl, with an injured wrist, who's walking around the hospital in a daze. I'm not sure what's up with her. Maybe she's in shock?  Whatever it is, I'm slightly intrigued.

13. Learned that the mystery girl feels it's her fault that the bus crashed.

Is she right?  Or is she taking on the blame for a delusional reason?

14. Learned that mystery girl caused the accident by being upset and trying to get out of the car. That led to the car hitting the bus.

15. Learned that the mystery girl is named Sophie (Bridgette Sneddon).

I feel for her. She caused the major bus accident but not in a malicious way.  It's more like her heat-of-the-moment bad decision led to disaster.

Still she takes full responsibility for it. She acts regretful and takes on the blame in a very mature fashion.

16. Saw that Sophie is on the show for only three episodes in 2015, and I've already watched two of them.

There's only one character that interests me on the show, and she's not sticking around.  That kind of sucks.

17. Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to watch the film that features Matthew Newton—"Ascension".

The film is produced by Simon Weaving—the brother of Hugo.  I learned about him a few days ago. He wrote and directed a film that I watched. Now I can't remember what it was.

18. Looked at Simon Weaving's filmography to jog my memory.

The film was "The Story of Ned".

19. Started to watch "Ascension".

20. Saw that Bruce Spence is in the film.

Or at least I think that's Bruce Spence.

21. Finished watching the film.

I thought it was interesting, but I'm not sure I fully understood it.

I think it might have been about the afterlife.

Or maybe not.

22. Saw from comments on YouTube that it probably is about the afterlife.

23. Saw that I'm right about Bruce Spence.

That's a relief.

24. Saw people on Twitter are still talking about Russell Crowe.

I was thinking that he and hoverboards have a lot in common—they're both cool and impressive until they explode.

25. Thought it would be cool if Russell Crowe became a slang word for hoverboard.

26. Saw that the writer and director of "Ascension" is David Easteal.  He also edited the movie.

27. Saw that Easteal made three other short films. The most recent was "Monaco, and that was in 2015.

28. Saw that Richard Davies from Offspring was in Easteal's short film "The Father".

29. Saw that Troy Hambly, the person who did the music for "Ascension" also did the music for "The Story of Ned".

I'm guessing Simon Weaving had something to do with that. Maybe?

30. Went to David Easteal's website.  It has a very minimalist style. I kind of like it.

32. Looked at the about page.

Easteal studied law and literature at The University of Melbourne.

I wonder what type of literature he likes. What's his favorite classic book? Does he have a preference for Australian literature? British?  The American South?  Or maybe he likes the classical Greek type stuff?

33. Wished my mind hadn't come up with a question that I'll probably never find an answer to.

34. Thought it was cool that Easteal won the Emerging Australian Filmmaker award at the Melbourne International Film Festival.

I'm guessing that was for "Monaco".

35. Went to the Melbourne International Film Festival (MIFF) site.

36. Saw that MIIF has been around since 1952. Wow! That's pretty old.

37. Saw that the upcoming festival begins on March 6, 2016.

I wish I could go!

Something that's making me feel kind of happy lately is that I'm rekindling my old love of film. I think this is partly because of Tropfest, and then also it's from watching Aussie movies and having film as one of Jack's electives.

Movies used to be one of my favorite things. Then I went to film school, and I lost the love.

I can't say the school itself was 100% to blame, because I was reluctant to go in the first place. I was at a career/life-confusion time in my life.

38. Realized that my film love didn't end right after film school. Because after I became a film school drop out, I moved to NYC.  I'm pretty sure it was there that I got really into American Zoetrope—a website where you read people's screenplays and they read yours.

39. Decided maybe it was parenthood. It's hard to find time to go to movies when you have a baby. Right? With the limited free time I had, I think I preferred using it for television.

40. Figured there were other factors, but I can't remember them.

Anyway, forget the whys. Let's go to the when. I would guess I was a non-movie lover from about 2001-2015.

41. Decided failure played another part in it.

When I was young, I watched films with the idea that one day hopefully I might be part of the industry. Then it got to the point where I realized it probably would never happen for me. So maybe movies made me a bit sad?

Now I'm at the point where I'm not too bothered by the fact that I will never get the chance to passively aggressively display my resentment towards someone by failing to mention them during my Oscars acceptance speech.

I was thinking how it's okay that I'm not part of the film industry, but then I realized I AM part of the industry. I write about it, so I'm part of it.

Every one of us who blogs about a film, Tweets about a film, recommends a film via email, or simply watches a film. We're all parts of the film industry—an extremely important part, actually.

The only downside is we don't get paid. But hey. Money isn't everything.

42. Saw that MIFF costs $155 for a mini-pass.  Then there's a passport that's $369. You have to be a member, though, to buy the passport.

How much does it cost to be a member?

43. Saw that membership costs $95.

If I lived in Melbourne, I might do it.

44. Remembered that I definitely DID still love movies in NYC. That's one of the main things that Tim and I did together. We never did the exciting stuff in NY like clubbing or trying out trendy restaurants. It was totally movies. We'd even go to free screenings sometimes and thought that was so exciting.

45. Went to the MIFF awards page.

46. Felt the Jury Statement about Monaco was a bit...something?

I don't know how to describe it.

Maybe pretentious?

The first sentence says,  Monaco, economically, and purely through the visual and sonic potential of cinema, tells a resonant and affecting story of suburban working-class life.

I'm trying to decipher that.  Maybe it's something like, Without using a lot of fanciness and money, the film's sound and visuals tells a moving story about suburban working-class life.

What's sonic? I'm thinking it has something to do with sound. For me mostly it's the place where we get milk shakes and other ice-cream treats.

47. Remembered that sonic has something to do with waves. Right? Sonic waves?  That would be sound, though.

48. Googled.

Yeah. Sonic is about sound waves.

So really. Why couldn't they just use the word sound...or audio?

And what's meant by sonic potential?

The sonic potential of cinema.  I don't get it.

49. Wanted to examine this sentence as well.  On the evidence of this film, Easteal is a born filmmaker and one who understands that realism, when executed with integrity and care, can be truly poetic.

I actually like the first phrase—On the evidence of this film.  But I'm not pleased with the born filmmaker bit. What does it mean to be a born filmmaker?  Does this mean there are filmmakers who weren't born filmmakers? Well, I guess they'd have to be. Otherwise why would it need to be specified that someone like David Easteal was a BORN filmmaker. We could just call him a filmmaker IF we didn't have to distinguish him from the born proctologist who decided to go into filmmaking.

50. Wondered what in "Monaco" can be used as evidence that Easteal is a born filmmaker rather than a not-born filmmaker.

51. Wondered if Easteal truly knows that realism can be poetic. And if so, did he know that BEFORE he read the jury statement about himself?

52. Did like the last line of the jury statement.  One cannot wait to see what this director will do next. But regardless of the future, Monaco is in itself a terrific achievement and already indicates that Easteal is one of the finest directors working in this country.

That's very sweet.

I think it's also an important point about art. We kind of laugh at one hit wonders or say things like, whatever happened to so and so. He had so much potential.  It's really wonderful when an artist is prolific and leaves the world with many gifts. It's especially good for the artist himself.  But if an actor, writer, singer, painter etc. gives the world one lovely and memorable gift; that's fine too.

53. Changed my mind.

It's not really that lovely.

It's nice for the world.

It's not so nice for the artist.

I've never had artistic success, and I sometimes feel sad about that. But I think it would have been much worse to have one of my novels published, get good reviews, make a lot of money, feel on top of the world, and then realize it was all downhill from there.

54. Saw that one of the jury people was Christos Tsiolkas! My goodness. I may have been picking apart the writing of the guy who wrote The Slap.

Shit.

Well, I think his novel-writing is much better than his film review-writing. And it's just my opinion. Some people like that type of writing. I prefer more down-to-earth, simplistic stuff.

55. Watched the trailer for "Monaco".

I can't say I was impressed.

There was a guy driving. That's about it.

Well, he did look a little angry and/or disturbed. I suppose that's interesting...but probably not interesting enough to give me a huge desire to see the film.

Then again. I'm not really into cars or driving. Someone who's into those things might enjoy the trailer more than I did.

56. Wondered. If someone picked apart my writing, what would they say?

My main fault is probably misuse of punctuation...and other grammar fails.

My writing style is immature and probably too basic. It's also full of insecurities. I often use words like "maybe" and "probably"; and phrases like "I think" or "It might".

57. Thought that, although my insecure writing style might be a turn off to some, I wouldn't change it. It's very much a reflection of myself and how I view the world.

Pretty People, Australian States, Michelle Lehman, and Jahla Bryant

1. Started to watch an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

2. Finished watching the episode.

3. Started watching my first 2015 episode of Home and Away.

So far, it reminds me of a Days of our Lives type soap operas—a bunch of young people, who look like they belong on the cover of teen magazines, getting themselves into very melodramatic situations.

4. Saw a scene with a bus accident. A woman is crying as she holds onto a guy with a major bleeding neck injury.  Then someone, who seems to be taking charge, tells her to relax.

I understand he's trying to be helpful and reassuring, but how does one relax in such a situation? Should she walk away from the dying man and go to a spa? Get herself a massage?

5. Didn't like the episode so far.

I hope it gets better.

I hope it changes.

There's just too much drama.

Every storyline I've seen so far is huge and melodramatic—Bus accident! Guys trapped somewhere! Cancer patient running away from chemo!

I think one or two melodramatic storylines is fine, but I like when soap operas also have fun, daily-life type stories.

I'm thinking (hoping) the episode is like this because it's the season premier.  Maybe it will calm down later.

6. Saw that the episode also features a date-rape drug storyline.

7. Wondered if Maddy, the cancer patient escapee, is the daughter that Roo (Justine Clarke) gave up for adoption.

I remember reading that Roo eventually reunites with her lost child. And now New-Roo (Georgie Parker) seems to be Maddy's mother.

I just don't remember the name of the baby that was given up for adoption.

8.  Tried to remember the father of the baby. Frank (Alex Papps) was tricked into thinking it was his child. But who was the real daddy?

9. Remembered. It was the preppy son of that rich, powerful, greedy man—the one who caused grief in Summer Bay.

I don't remember his name.

10. Reminded by Lord Wiki that the name of the baby's father was Brett Macklin (Gary Sont).

11. Learned the baby's name was Martha, not Maddy.

12. Learned that Maddy is a teenage runaway that Roo took in.

13. Saw, from IMDb, that the reason Josh (Jackson Gallagher) looked mildly familiar to me is he's the one who played Patrick in Patrick.

14. Had hopes the show will get better.

I'm thinking, though, of when I started watching Coronation Street. I decided I wanted to get into a British soap opera. Eastenders was my first choice, but it wasn't available on Hulu. I tried HollyOaks and didn't like it for the same reason I didn't like this episode of Home and Away. There was too much drama and too many young, pretty people.

I didn't stick around to see if I'd like the later episodes. I just moved right onto Coronation Street.  I am going to stick with Home and Away—probably for the whole 2015 season. I'm hoping it either changes into the type of show I prefer, or I grew to like it despite my complaints.

What I love about Coronation Street is that the pretty, young people don't dominate the show. Many of the main characters are my age or older, and most of the characters are not above-average when it comes to appearance. They look like very normal people—the kind I'd encounter in my daily life.

Also....

Yeah, there are some intense storylines—murder, infidelity, blackmail cancer, etc. But there are also low key storylines such as a community trying to stop the closing of the public library; a mother obsessing over her child eating unhealthy food; a woman getting offended because the owner of a gym assumed she was there to lose weight, etc; a mother feeling neglected because her adult children don't want to watch Titanic with her, and another woman trying to plan a wedding while staying within budget.

15. Saw from Twitter that Bob Hawke wants Australia to get rid of its states.

Speaking as someone who's not from Australia, it makes sense.

Or maybe I should say for Americans it makes sense.

Before I knew much about Australia, it was really just Sydney, and all the rest of it.  I don't think I knew about Tasmania, South Australia, Western Australia, New South Wales, Queensland, Victoria, and Queensland.

16. Wondered about my fellow Americans. Are most of them smarter than past-me?  How many Americans can name at least one Australian state?

17. Wondered if there are political benefits to having less political and geographical divisions within a country.

18. Started to read an article about Bob Hawke's ideas.

19. Learned he doesn't want to give up local divisions—just the state ones.

There'd still be districts.

That makes sense.

I can't say I see the benefits, but I also can't see how it would be harmful.

20. Liked that Bob Hawke supported improving the lives of Aboriginal Australians, treating Muslims decently, welcoming refugees, and gay marriage.

21. Thought what would be better than no states is no countries.

I'd like countries to be like states. Each country would have their own leader and laws, but people would be free to come and go. There'd be no passports. There'd be no question of refugees. Moving from Syria to Australia would be like moving from New South Wales to Queensland.

22. Also wanted to add....

Because we read Robert Frost's poem "Mending Wall", the other day I tried to imagine a world without fences.

Maybe there'd be fences at places like Disney World—or any outdoor place that offered some kind of service. But neighborhoods would have no fences.

23. Realized there'd at least need to be gates around pools.

Besides that, though. What if we could just wander onto each other's property?  Or it wouldn't even be someone else's property. We'd share all outdoor land. Only indoor spaces would be owned and privatized.

24. Realized I'm living in la la land. How would people decide who gets to build where?

Oh! I know.

People could still own property.  But they wouldn't and couldn't keep people off their property.

25. Decided if you owned the property, you could make the rules. It would be like a public park. Some allow dogs and some do not.  Some people would have a community garden, and other people would have a look but don't touch policy.

26. Decided, like public parks, neighborhood yards would close at sunset. That way you wouldn't have people creeping around your window at two in the morning.

27. Looked at 2008 Tropfest Finalist films.  I see some faces I recognize.

I think one movie has the teenage girl from Upper Middle Bogan. That's the film I'll be watching today. I'll see if I'm right or not.

I see the guy from Farscape and Underbelly. I forgot the actor's name.  I was about to say "Terry", but that was his character's name on Underbelly.

28. Saw Callan Mulvey. Probably?

And I see Hugh Jackman.

 29. Looked up the Farscape/Underbelly actor. It's Matthew Newton.  And he IS in the 2008 Tropfest film called "Ascension".

30. Started to watch "Marry Me".

I think it might actually be the winning film, because its image is the one used on the Tropfest menu to get to 2008.  "An Imaginary Life" is used for 2007, and that was the winner for 2007. Although with 2007, they have it listed as the winning film. There's no winning film listed for 2008.

31. Decided to not keep myself in suspense.

I Googled and saw that "Marry Me" was the winner.

32. Thought the movie has good sounds.

What would that be called? Sound mixing?

33. Started to read an article about sound in film.

It says production mixers record the sounds on set. Foley artists are the ones that create sound effects off set.

Then there're the music people.

The sound mixer puts it all together.

34. Finished watching the movie.

I loved it.

I have to admit that, at first, I only loved the music and sound. I wasn't really getting into the storyline. But then towards the end, I loved it.

The film is a great story of feminism.

Chloe (Jahla Bryant; NOT Lara Robinson as I suspected) has a crush on her neighbor Jason (Ryan Fitzpatrick).

Jason's really into his bike and gives Chloe little attention.

He has a bike accident, and Chloe is kind enough to offer her bike for borrowing. He flat out refuses. because it's pink. So Chloe takes a magic marker and changes the color of the bike. Again, she offers her bike to Jason. He still refuses because despite the color change, it's still a girl's bike.

It reminds me of something I realized lately.

I was thinking of parents who get nervous and rigid about their boys wearing pink clothes or playing with dolls. I used to think it was all about homophobia. And it might be that to some degree. But I think the main factor playing into all that is sexism. It's the idea that girls are inferior.  Boys shouldn't wear pink hates because they might be mistaken for a girl. Boys shouldn't play with Barbies because that's what girls do. Boys shouldn't become nurses. That's a woman's job.

Otherwise, why does there seem to be less anxiety when young girls want to play with trucks or prefer to wear jeans rather than dresses?

What would bother most parents more—a boy who shops in the pink aisle of a toy store or a girl who's looking to buy a Star Wars action figure?

35. Disappointed that I was wrong about the actress in the film.

It kind of reminds me of when we saw Frozen, and the whole time I thought the snowman was played by Jonah Hill.

36. Saw that many of the cast members of "Marry Me" have the last name Lawson.  I'm guessing they're from the same family. Maybe they're neighbors or friends of the director (Michelle Lehman).

37. Saw that there's no foley artist listed.

I can't really remember seeing the term foley artist on IMDb lately. Maybe it's because I wasn't looking for it? Or maybe the term is not used as much?

38. Looked at the sound department for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

There IS a Foley artist—actually multiple ones.

And there were around fifty people who worked with the sound. That's sound alone and not including music.

I say around fifty, because I might have miscounted somewhere.

39. Looked at the Home and Away episode I watched today.

There are no sound people listed.

I'm guessing they exist but just weren't added to IMDb.

40. Saw that "Marry Me" has a sound recordist. Maybe that's similar to a foley artist.

41. Saw that IMDb does list the sound people for the whole Home and Away series in general. I guess they do that rather than doing it for individual episodes.

42. Saw that someone named Brooklyn Scheers did baby sound effects for one episode in 1992.

I'm guessing she was an actual baby who made sounds for the show rather than some kind of professional sound person.

 43. Learned, from IMDb, that Michelle Lehman, the writer and director of "Marry Me" makes short segments for The Disney Channel.

She also wrote a TV show and TV movie, but IMDb has very little information on them. A cast isn't even listed. I'm not sure why.

44. Saw that some members the crew of "Marry Me" worked on a 2015 short film called "Stockholm".

This includes the producer, editor, composer....

Actually, that's it.

The producer and editor have the same last name (Conti). I'm guessing they're related. Maybe brothers?

45. Saw that one of the stars of "Stockholm", Martin Crewes was in Patrick.

It's the second time I've run into that movie today.

46. Heard someone use the word "mozzies" on Coronation Street. Is that also a British term, or was the character trying to sound like an Aussie?

47. Learned from Lord Wiki that "mozzie" is a British derogatory term for Muslims.

I don't think that's what the show was going for there. From the context, I could tell they were referring to mosquitos.

Also, I think Coronation Street is the best TV show I've seen in terms of having positive and relatable Muslim characters.

48. Found a random photo, on the ABC website, of Michelle Lehman standing next to Geoffrey Rush after winning her 2008 Tropfest award.

What's random about it is the photo was published on November 12, 2015. There's no article attached; just a brief caption.

I don't get it.

49. Went to Michelle Lehman's Vimeo page.

50. Started to watch her showreel.

51. Finished watching.

It was cute—all stuff geared towards children, including "Marry Me".

I didn't really realize "Marry Me" could be a good film for children until I saw it in the showreel.

I think it's the first Tropfest film I've seen that's fully young-child-appropriate.

52. Watched one of Lehman's Disney Channel segments. It was a Monsters Inc. related thing called "Guide to Scaring Your Family".

53. Watched an adorable Lehman segment called "Once Upon a Princess".

54. I watched a Lehman thing about toy reviews.  I was confused at first. It seemed like the kids were jumping from toy to toy. Then I realized it was a showreel.

If I had read more carefully, I would have noticed the video is titled "Toy Talk Reel".

55. Saw that Jahla Bryant, the young actress from "Marry Me" has a showreel on YouTube.

I'm going to watch that.

56. Saw that Bryant won a best actress Tropfest award. I didn't realize they gave out acting awards.

57. Impressed with Bryant's acting and her beauty. I'm not impressed with the editing of the showreel. It does strange things, like including shots of the end credits of the films she's been in. I'm not sure why we need to see that.

58. Saw a really depressing commercial where Bryant plays the sister of a boy in a coma.

It's for HBF?  What's that?

59. Saw that HBF is a private health insurance company.

60. Felt the commercial was a little manipulative. Or exploitive, maybe?

I probably feel that way because it was a private health insurance company.

If it was something else, I'd be less...judgmental.  Probably. With this commercial, though, I felt they were saying, Hey, now. Don't forget one of your kids might end up in a coma.  You better buy some health insurance.  

61. Thought it would also be more okay if the injured person wasn't a child.

Using children to scare parents into buying private insurance seems a little low for me.

62. Learned that Jahla Bryant was ten in 2008.  So, now she's about seventeen.

63. Looked at Jahla Bryant's acting resume page.

They have photos of her as a teenager.

She continues to be very beautiful.  I'm not sure why she's not getting more screen jobs.

64. Felt it was somewhat messed up that I complained earlier about Home and Away having too many pretty people, and now I'm wondering why a pretty person doesn't have more acting jobs.

Can I explain myself?

Not really.

65. Started to understand it.

66. Forgot what I was going to say.

My brain is all twisted like a pretzel.

67. Wondered why I used a metaphor. I usually hate metaphors.

68. Sort of remembered what I was going to say.

I do like when TV shows and movies has a variety of characters in terms of appearance.  I don't want to see everyone looking young, thin, and beautiful.  I want to see shows that have characters of various weights, beauty-levels, ages, ethnicities, etc.

I do understand, though, that beauty is highly valued in the film and television industry. And I value it too.  I like seeing pretty people just like I like seeing pretty mountains, pretty birds, and pretty shoes.

So it seems a bit strange to see a young actress who's exceptionally beautiful; is talented enough to have won a prestigious award; and still seems interested in having an acting career, have so very little credits to her name.

Maybe she's too beautiful, and the industry is trying to move away from that.

Maybe she looks too similar to other actresses—such as Lara Robinson.

69. Remembered that I am this extremely, super, amazing, talented writer (who's not always modest) and all I have to show for it are some self-published novels that very few people want to buy, this blog that not many people read, and some free online fiction that is very ignored.

I should be a an extremely rich and famous writer and Jahla Bryant should be the next Jennifer Lawrence.

But the universe doesn't always work that way.

70.   Don't care much about being famous anymore, but I do want to be very rich.  Then I can tour all over Australia, visit Iceland, and get the awesome Platinum Dining plan at Disney World.

71. Felt greedy for not thinking of donating to charity first.

Maybe that's why the universe is not making me rich.

No...that's ridiculous.

I think there are plenty of rich people out there who are greedier than me.

Plus, I DID think of charity right after I thought of my selfish wishes. It's not like I forgot it all together.

72. Thought of that insurance commercial with Jahla Bryant and decided I'd use some of my massive fortune to help siblings of children who are in comas, have cancer, Cystic Fibrosis, and other catastrophic problems.

Kevin Rudd, Twitter Issues, Steve Baker, and Batman Movies

1. Dreamed that I kissed Kevin Rudd.

I'm with people, and we're looking at photographs. I see animals that I see as being dangerous, including polar bears. I start raising concerns about these encounters with dangerous animals.  

My concerns are dismissed by someone in the room. They don't think polar bears are dangerous. Kevin Rudd then announces he'll check it out. I'm thankful to him. To be nice, I suggest that I could do it instead. I'm disappointed when he takes me up on my offer. But then it turns out he was joking. He's willing to go.  As he's leaving, I kiss him. It's meant to be friendly and casual, but I end up getting him on the lips (but not in a very kinky or passionate way)

2. Felt that dreaming about Kevin Rudd was a bit random. It's not like I've been thinking about him lately or harboring some kind of secret crush.

3. Did wonder how Kevin Rudd is doing. Maybe I'll check up on that later.

4. Saw stuff about Kevin Rudd and Twitter when I did my daily thing of reading an old blog post.

Maybe my day is Kevin Rudd themed for some reason.

I thought it was funny, though, because I was planning to look at Kevin Rudd's Twitter account later. It turns out I did the same thing in September 2011.

5. Learned from Twitter that Stevie Wright, the singer from the Easybeats died.  He was fairly young—only sixty-eight.

6. Went to Kevin Rudd's Twitter page.

I don't know if the guy was a great Prime Minister. Nor do I know if the allegations about him being a egomaniac are true.  But I do think he's adorable. He kind of reminds me of Anthony Hopkins.

7. Saw that Kevin Rudd often replies to Tweets he received.

It's a sweet thing to do—personable.  On the other hand, I think it can get annoying on timelines when you see all these Tweets from one person saying quick things to a whole lot of people.

8. Felt maybe the best thing to do is favorite the Tweets of people who give you a compliment or Holiday wishes. That lets them know that you've read their Tweet and appreciate it.  Although it can be interpreted as being rude—you accept their well wishes but don't send them back in return.

It's really complicated. I guess I'm lucky to be not put in that situation.

I'm imagining someone giving me a Tweet compliment on my novels or blog.  I'd want to thank them, and having one thank you Tweet wouldn't be annoying. But what if a miracle happened and all of a sudden I started getting multiple compliments within a short period of time. I think it would start to get annoying to people following me if I had all these, Thanks @person A! Thanks @person B! I really appreciate it @person C.

Or what's worse is when someone keeps Retweeting all the compliments they get. Then it's like bragging, and I'm highly tempted to stop following the person.

But back to simply replying. If I didn't reply, I'd probably feel cold and rude.

9. Wondered if it would work to reply via direct message.

Probably not. That might send out the wrong idea...too personable.

10. Realized there is a VERY obvious and easy solution.

I think Alyssa Milano did it for her birthday. Or at least she did part of it.

I think what you do is favorite all the Tweets. I'm not sure if she did that. But what she did was send out a Tweet thanking everyone for their birthday messages.

So instead of Kevin Rudd wishing Merry Christmas back to multiple people, he could just Tweet something like, Thank you for all the Christmas wishes!  I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday too!

11. Wondered if the reason I dreamed of Kevin Rudd is because I've been watching the 2007 Tropfest films. Kevin Rudd became PM in 2007.

Though I don't know the point of the polar bears or the misplaced kiss.

12. Started to watch an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

13. Saw Martin Sharpe cracking up when saying one of his lines. There's a chance that his character was supposed to do that, but I'm doubting it.

It happens when he says, Does that man ever get tired of being evil?  It's a corny line, so I can imagine an actor finding it amusing.

I like when actors crack up. It's cute. I've seen it on The Big Bang Theory a few times.

It's probably only good with a comedy, though. It would be strange in a drama. Or...maybe it would be even more funny.

14. Decided that with a drama, the scene should probably be reshot. And then the cracking up can be put in the outtakes video.

15. Started watching another episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

16. Decided that I'm beginning to dislike Scooter: Secret Agent less than before.

17. Went to the Tropfest website. Today I'm going to watch the 2007 WINNING film.

It's called "An Imaginary Life".

18. Finished watching the "film". It deals with the topic of forgotten imaginary friends.

I thought it was okay. There were a few moments I liked a lot.

I think it's just that I prefer some of what I've already seen before regarding the subject. The main thing that comes to my mind is Bing Bong's story in Inside Out.

Really I think Pixar is the king of this type of story.  The Toy Story trilogy deals with a similar but slightly different situation—beloved toys that have been forgotten by children.

19. Tried to remember the book—Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend.

I do remember I also didn't like that one very much. I can't remember why. It might have been I just didn't like the voice of the author.

The imaginary friend novel I liked a lot was Sundays at Tiffany's. I thought that story was very sweet.

20. Looked at "An Imaginary Life" on IMDb.

A man named Steve Baker was the writer and director. Plus, he did the voice-over narration of the imaginary friend.

Archived footage (home movies) of Andrew Baker was used as the child.

I'm guessing Andrew is the brother of Steve.

21. Saw that Steve Baker has recently done animation for a show called HitRECord. It stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  I think this is the first time I've heard of it.

He also did writing for one of the episodes.

22. Went to Steve Baker's Vimeo page.

23. Saw that there's a segment from HitRECord.

It features Scarlett Johansson.

I'm going to watch that.

24. Distracted by the male characters's huge chin.

25. Liked the segment. It's basically about humans have a hard time communicating honestly with each other.

26. Watched Baker's commercial for The Starlight Foundation.

It's sweet.

27. Watched Baker's most recent upload; though it's from a year ago.

It's a non-animated commercial for a product called Olive Grove. I think it's a butter substitute.

28. Went to Steve Baker's Twitter.

His profile banner thing is for his project called This is Desmond Ray.

He says it's an online series coming soon.

He does have a Desmond Ray video on Vimeo.

I'll watch that.

29. Loved the video.

It's very sweet.

It reminds me a lot of Mary and Max—the themes and mood, at least.  Though I must say I much prefer the imagery in Desmond Ray.  It's a mix of animation and real images. For me, it's more visually stimulating.

30. Liked that Baker's most recent Tweet is a Retweet about The Exorcist.  It's in praise of that famous shot—the one with the priest standing outside the house.

31. Wondered about this December 15 Tweet. Baker says, In a perfect world, #PrayForNakatomi would be trending on Christmas day.

What is Nakatomi? Is it a serious thing or some kind of pop culture reference?

32. Googled and learned it's a pop culture reference.  It's the fictional corporation of Die Hard.

That WOULD be pretty funny if it had trended on Christmas. Maybe it did among some populations?  I know Die Hard itself was trending.

33. Thought Steve Baker was horribly wrong for Tweeting this. I want my epitaph to read ~ In the face of overwhelming pressure, he made it to the end without having ever seen The Sound of fucking Music!

I want his epitaph to read: After much reluctance, he became The Sound of Music's Number One Fan; and he was actually so obsessed, that it got a little scary.

Actually, maybe that's why Steve Baker has been avoiding The Sound of Music. Maybe he knows it's his destiny to became a crazed fan of the movie.

 34. Wondered about Steve Baker's November 16 Tweet. I suspect the #MementoRemake will just be the origin story of Jared Leto's #Joker 

First of all. There's going to be a remake of Memento?  The One with Guy Pearce? Why?

And what does that have to do with the Joker?

35. Found an article about the remake.  It turns out the director of the movie is Christopher Nolan. I think he's the one who made the Batman movies. But did he also do the one with Jared Leto?

36. Did some IMDb searching and saw that Nolan isn't the one responsible for the Jared Leto Joker thingie. I thought it would be Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which Nolan produced. But no, it's something called Suicide Squad.

Margot Robbie and Jai Courtney are in it.

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice also has at least one Australian—Callan Mulvey.

37. Saw that Baker watched all the Star Wars film; or at least he planned to do it.

I'm not sure if it came to fruition.

38. Realized I like Baker's Twitter a lot.

There's hardly any self-promotion, he talks about things that are interesting to me, and he manages to be funny sometimes.