Kirsty Fisher

Kirsty Fisher is probably Australian, so she would also fit well with my old biography posts.

She's maybe-Australian and a TV writer.

I say maybe-Australian, because she could be from New Zealand.

She does work in the Aussie screen industry, though.

I can see that from looking at her filmography.

She wrote one of the episodes of Wanted that I watched today.

I'm liking that show a lot. I've seen it described as a cross between The Fugitive and Thelma and Louise. I definitely agree with that assessment.

The show is about two women, Lola (Rebecca Gibney) and Chelsea (Geraldine Hakewill), who know each other only because they take the same bus every day.

One day (or night?) things don't go well at the bus stop. They end up being part of a crooked cop drama. They're kidnapped, chased, framed for murder, etc.

They become fugitives and bond along the way.

In Kirsty Fisher's episode, Lola and Chelsea mess up on filling the car with petrol. Oops! And they end up having to trek through the Australian wilderness.

It's quite a shitty mess but fun to watch because there's suspense, touching moments, and humor. And unlike the most recent Game of Thrones episode I watched, there's plenty of sunshine and other sources of light. So I can see what's going on.

* * *

Now I'm going to make my way through Kirsty Fisher's filmography.

Chronologically, the first thing I see is that Fisher was an assistant to producer and secretary to producer for the show Halifax f.p.

You know...I think Rebecca Gibney was in that too.  Although I could be wrong.

I'll click on the show and see.

I'm not wrong! Yay! Gibney was the star of that.  

It seems to me that Fisher had more humble beginnings than Daniel Chun. Daniel Chun was like Harvard; then onto writing for The Simpsons.  

Note: By humble beginnings, I mean their writing careers...not their childhoods.

The Halifax f.p gig was from 1997-1998. Also around that time period, Fisher worked as a script editor trainee for two episodes of Stingers.  I guess that was an educational job. I wonder if she got paid at all. Or was it more of an internship type thing?

I've heard of Stingers but have never watched it. I also can't remember who's in it. Though I feel that it's one of those shows that constantly pops up when I look at the past work of actors I'm seeing in recent Aussie TV shows. 

For fun, I'm going see if I know of any of the actors in one of the episodes that Fisher did her training. 

There's Kate Kendall.  I know her from Neighbours.

Jessica Napier.  I loved her in McLeod's Daughters.  

Nicholas Bell. I've seen him in a lot of stuff. And he's one of the stars of Wanted.

* * *

If I'm understanding IMDb correctly, it looks like Fisher was having a lack of screen work from 1999-2003.  Things get quiet.

I wonder what she was doing.

Taking care of a baby?

Theater work?

Writing a novel?

Dealing with an illness.

School?

Working at a job that is totally outside the realm of the TV industry?

Anyway....

In 2003, Fisher got back into things. She worked for the TV show The Sleepover Club.

She was a script editor for thirteen episodes and a writer for one episode. 

The Sleepover Club is another show that I've heard of but never watched.  

I think maybe it's like The Saddle Club in the sense that it's filmed in Australia but they keep the setting vague.  

The Saddle Club was annoyingly mysterious about what country the horses and girls were living in.  

No, mysterious is the wrong word. A mystery would have been fun. They would have dropped hints and tried to get us to guess.

Obtuse would be a better word. Or vague? 

Oh! Cool.

I just saw from IMDb that I'm wrong.  

The Sleepover Club is actually about Australians. That's cool.

Lord Wiki says that the books, the show is based on, actually take place in England. But the TV show took place in Australia.

Now I'm looking at what actors I recognize from this show.

Ryan Corr.  He was in Wanted. But mostly I know him from Packed to the Rafters. And the Wolf Creek sequel.  

At least I think it was the sequel.  Or was it the first one?

There's Caitlin Stasey. I recognized her but had to click on her name, because I couldn't remember what I've seen her in.  It was probably Tomorrow When the World Began.

So far I feel this post is more about actors than writers.

Sorry.

I think I'm just more used to writing about actors than writers.

I'll get a hang of things eventually.

Or maybe I won't.

Ah! Eliza Taylor!  She's in The Sleepover Club. I know her from the American show The 100. 

I'm thinking I should look specifically at the episode that Fisher wrote.  It's called Fearlotto.  It involves the sleepover kids sharing their worst fears.

What is the deal with these sleepovers?  How often does the club meet? Do they always have a sleepover?  

Okay. Lord Wiki says the club is made up of five girls and they sleep over one of their houses at least once a week.

That sounds pretty fun.

I'm imagining that at one point, there might be a newbie in the mix.  I also kind of imagine there's an outsider who tries to sabatoge the club.  

* * *

Someone has uploaded the "Fearlotto" episode to YouTube. I don't expect it to be around for long, so if you click on my link, it might, unfortunately, take you nowhere. 

I'm just watching random scenes.

It turns out the sleepover girls aren't just sharing their fears but planning to work together to conquer their fears. It's like group therapy.

Their Aussie accents seem very strong to me. 

I'm trying to figure out which young girl grew up to be the girl in The 100.

I think it's the girl wearing purple?

Yikes. Again...more into the actors than the writing.

* * *

I'm going to move onto the next show.

It's actually something I've never heard of before. 

Silversun.

Ryan Corr was one of the stars.  

So there seems to be some kind of connection between Fisher and Corr.  It might not be a connection between the two of them...but maybe a joint connection through someone else.  For example, maybe there's a producer or director that's friends (or friendly) with both Fisher and Corr.

Angus McClaren is also on the show and he starred with both Corr and Gibney on Packed to the Rafters.

Silversun is a 2004 science fiction show. It's about starting a colony on a silver sun.

What is a silver sun?

Lord Wiki says it's a British rock band and an Aussie TV show.  So I guess there is no real silver sun hanging out somewhere.  

I'm guessing it's the idea that somewhere out there is a sun that has a lot of silver in it's atmosphere. Or it has some chemical that makes it look silver in color?

Anyway, Fisher is listed as part of the script department for twelve episodes. And she was the writer for three episodes.  

Here's one of the episodes that Fisher wrote. 

Ryan Corr has some wild, futuristic hair.

The black girl in the show looks familar to me. Do I know her from somewhere?

I don't know her character name so it would be hard to find out what actress is playing her.

The more I watch bits of the show, the more curious I get. And I don't think they're going to say her name. So I'm going to Google the actors and see if I can find a black one.

So far I'm finding only white girls. But I've clicked on only two names...so far.

I found it!!!!

Cleopatra Coleman.

And I know her from an American TV show—Last Man on Earth.  

I love that show!

She's Jamaican black rather than Aboriginal black.

Okay. Yeah. This post is probably going to be more about me getting excited about recognizing actors than it ever is going to be about Kirsty Fisher.  At least during the IMDb part.  

The problem is, I'm not sure how much I'll find outside of IMDb.

* * *

The next show on Fisher's filmography is Last Man Standing. Fisher was a script editor for that.

There are last men on earth and last men standing.

And isn't there an American show, Last Man Standing?

Yep. Googled.  It's with Tim Allen.

The Australian Last Man Standing came out in 2005. Rodger Corser was the star.  It's a comedy-drama about male friendship.  It sounds a bit like House Husbands. And peaking ahead....Fisher wrote for that show as well.  

* * *

I watched the next show on Fisher's filmography—Pirate Island—the Last Treasures of Fiji. 

I remember these things. A) I watched it in Disney World when we were staying in Port Orleans. Jack was sick. It was very hot. B) I didn't like the show very much.

Fisher wrote only one episode: "Unholy Alliance".  It was the second to the last one.

I want to move on from this.

I don't want to have any reliving of my time on Pirate Island.

* * *

In 2006, Fisher was a script editor for five episodes of the first season of H20: Just Add Water. And she wrote one episode of season 2.

Oh! And that has a connection to Silversun. Angus McClaren was in both shows.

I'm looking at the episode that Fisher wrote: "Hocus Pocus". It's about making a potion that grants wishes. I vaguely remember that.  

Maybe there was a creepy guy who wished for one of the mermaids to fall in love with him? Or something like that?

* * *

It seems that between 2003-2007, Fisher was mostly writing children's television shows.

I might have failed to mention that some of these shows were for kids. The Sleepover Club seems kind of obvious. If there was an adult show called The Sleepover Club, it would probably be porno or erotica.

But yeah—Silversun, H20 Just Add Water, and Pirate Island are also all kid shows.

After 2007, Fisher's filmography goes quiet again.

Then she comes back in 2011 with a NOT-kid show.  Instead it's a parenting show—Laid.

Oh! And now I see there's a season 2.  

I've watched only season 1.

I wonder if season 2 is on Netflix yet. 

You know...I really thought Laid was more recent—like from 2 years ago rather than 8 years ago.

Oh no!!!!

Wait.

I have the wrong show.

Stupid-me.

I'm thinking of The Let Down!!!!

I think that IS new.

I did also watch Laid, but I don't remember much about it.  

I'm pretty sure it stars the same woman from The Let Down.

Okay. Yeah. Alison Bell.  Now I feel a tiny bit less stupid.

Anyway, Laid is a comedy. I think about romance?  I don't remember much about it. IMDb, though, is triggering my memory a bit. I think Bell believes she's cursed?  She has multiple ex-lovers dying on her.

Here's a trailer.

It's kind of like a romantic dark comedy.

I wish I remembered it more.

I would sit here and say I should re-watch it. But there's just too much new stuff to watch.

That being said....I do have two re-watching things on my to-watch List.  One is Lost and the other is The Haunting of Hill House.

Anyway....

Fisher was actually one of the creators of Laid. She co-created it with a woman named Marieke Hardy.  

The two of them also produced the show along with six other producers.  

* * *

In 2013, Fisher wrote an episode of Mr. and Mrs. Murder.  I think I've seen one episode of that?  Maybe we watched it IN Australia? I have this vague feeling/memory that we did. I think maybe there was something with horses?

Oh!  

I just clicked on the episode and saw that Fisher wrote the very first one! I wasn't expecting that.

Any actors, on the show, that seem to be have some kind of connection to Fisher and/or her work?

Yes!

Alison Bell!

Anyone else?

Well, not that I can see.

I'm watching the trailer now. The premise is more interesting than I imagined.  I thought it was just another detective thing. But no, Mr. and Mrs Murder (Shaun Micallef and Kat Stewart) are crime scene CLEANERS.  

Did I understand that when I watched the one episode? Maybe I did and just forgot?

* * *

The next show is....

DANCE ACADEMY!!!!!!!!

Hallelujah!

That's such a fantastic show.

I think I've tried to get everyone in my family to watch it....well, not the three young boys. Because at the time they would have been way too young. Or not even born.

But anyway, not one family member took my advice. 

Their loss!

I really think all of them would like it.

Well to be fair, Jack and Tim did TRY one episode. But still. I think they should have tried a bit harder. Maybe.

Fisher wrote four episodes in 2012-2013.  Which season would that be?

Just did the clicking.

There's one from season 2 and three from season 3.  

I'm going to see if I remember any of them.

In the first episode "A Choreographed Life", Christian (Jordan Rodrigues) is hurt by Tara (Xenia Goodwin).  

I recently watched the Americanized version of Rodrigues in The Fosters.

I wonder if any fans of The Fosters have ended up seeking out Dance Academy. I hope so.

Well...as for "A Choreographed Life", nothing in the description really rings my memory bell.

The next episode is "The Naturals". I kind of remember this one, or at least I remember the storyline it leads to.  

Zach (Kip Gamblin) gives Grace (Isabel Durant) some private lessons. And if I remember correctly, that led to an incident of the ever-so-popular TV troupe of false accusations of sexual assault. 

I can't remember but am wondering. Did Dance Academy ever deal with real sexual assault or harassment? 

Oh! I almost forgot to mention.  From what I saw in the description, it seems "The Naturals" is where Abi (Dena Kaplan) starts singing.  

I think with the third episode "Short Cut Clause" the grief has already begun. Because Thom Green is not in the credits.

He IS in "The Naturals".

I guess he dies in between those two episodes.

Anyway...the last Fisher episode is "Graceland".

Nothing about it feels familar to me.

And...

I'm confused.

Now I'm seeing that only "Graceland" is in season 3.  The other episodes were in season 2.  

Did I read something wrong? Or is IMDb being confusing?

Well...it seems to be me.

I read things wrong.

It's two episodes in season 2 and two episodes in season 3.  

The big tragedy happens towards the end of season 2.  

I'm looking through the episodes, and I totally have to watch that tribute scene now.  

So...beautiful.

* * *

I see that once again I've messed up chronologically with IMDb.

BEFORE Dance Academy, Fisher wrote some episodes of Winners and Losers.

I've heard of that show but haven't watched it yet.

I don't know if it's available on the three streaming thingies I use (Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon) 

No...I don't see it.

But anyway, Fisher wrote five episodes from 2011-2014. 

I'll look at the middle one. It's called "Maybe Baby" 

None of the actors on the show seem very familar to me; though some seem vaguely familar.

Wait. Damien Brodie....

I think he's the guy from The Elephant Princess.

Yep. I'm right.

Cool.

I like being right. 

* * *

I couldn't find "Maybe Baby" on Youtube. But someone has uploaded another Fisher episode—"Happiness is a Delusion".

I'm going to watch a little bit.  

The people have weird voices. Like they sucked in helium. I'm not sure if there's an issue with the uploading, or it's part of the storyline?

I fast-forwarded and people still sound strange.

Maybe the characters just talk that way.

Or maybe I'm having some kind of really fucked up neurological symptom. Is there something where everyone sounds like a Chipmunk to you?

Well, no. I'm fine. I can hear Tim in the other room, and he sounds normal.

I just turned on another YouTube video—a Ted Talk. And that sounds funny to me too!!????

Now I'm watching Oprah read Harry Potter. All is well with that.

So, what's happening?

I think I get it.

My guess is that the Winners and Losers episode was uploaded at the wrong speed. Then by coincidence, I think the Ted Talker had a kind of high voice.

* * *

Fisher wrote a season 2 episode of Upper Middle Bogan.  I watched the series but don't remember the episode.

I feel most of this post is about me forgetting what I watched in the past. 

The description on IMDb says Julie (Robyn Malcolm) learns that Wayne (Glenn Robbins) is a descendant of rich relatives. 

Yeah. I totally don't remember that.

I'm not even sure who Wayne is.

Julie's husband?

Yeah. That's who he is.

I wasn't sure, because his picture is not on IMDb. So I clicked on his name and saw he's the actor who was also in Kath and Kim. That helped to put things together for me.

* * *

Fisher wrote two episodes of Wonderland.

I watched some of that on Hulu. Years ago!  I so loved it.  Hulu was weird about it, though. They had the 1st season and part of the 2nd season combined as one season.  

Recently I learned that it's now on Amazon Prime.  

Well, they have the first two seasons.

Were any more seasons made?

Yes! 

It's three seasons!

Will we ever get all seasons here?

I hope so!

Fisher wrote an episode of season 2 and season 3.

I'm not going to dive deep because I don't want spoilers.

* * *

Fisher wrote an episode of Ready For This.

It was a 2015 series about Aboriginal teens at a hostel in Sydney.  

Here's a trailer for the series.

It's a teen drama.

I think it looks pretty good. 

The anthem kid (Aaron L McGrath) from Redfern Now is one of the stars. So is manipulative Billie (Tessa de Josselin) from Home and Away.  Though I think she ended up being less manipulative later on...after I stopped watching.  People DO change sometimes. Like Theon Greyjoy.  BUT...I think it happens more in fiction than in real life.  

* * *

Well, I had some more chronological confusion.

Back in 2013....during the days of Dance Academy, Mr and Mrs. Murder and Winners and Losers, Fisher wrote an episode of House Husbands.  It was in season 2, which I would have watched.

The episode is where Kane (Gyton Grantley) and Tom (Tim Campbell) have their lives stressed by the appearance of their daughter's biological father.

I vaguely remember that.

Maybe?

Was their daughter adopted?

* * *

I just suggested to Tim that we maybe re-watch Game of Thrones, which reminded me that we re-watched some of Westworld.

So...I might have kind of misspoke before when I talked about re-watching only Lost and The Haunting of Hill House.

Anyway....onto The Family Law. This is a more recent show.  Fisher is a producer and writer for it.

Oh! It's about Chinese-Australians.

I don't think I knew that Australia has an Asian show.

That's very cool.

Fisher is the top writer just below the creator (Benjamin Law).  She's written 11 out of 18 episodes.

All the episodes of season 3 came out on January 12, 2019 which makes me think it's Netflix.  

I wonder if it's on my watch-list.  If it is, that means I DID know there was an Asian-Australian show and just forgot. Like usual.  

I just checked my IMDb app on my phone.

Yes. It's on my watch-list.

Here's a promo of the show—the opening scene. 

It looks very sweet.

I hope to watch it someday.

Well...it might not happen because there are over a thousand things on my watch-list.

And I just checked. I was wrong about it being on Netflix.

Maybe Amazon Prime.....

Nope.

* * * 

The last show on Fisher's filmography is Mustangs FC. 

She's written eight episodes.

It looks like another team drama. This one's about football.

Here's a trailer for the 2nd season.

I guess it looks kind of good. Maybe?

I'm not really into sports.

But I'm also not really into dance, and I liked Dance Academy.

* * *

Now I'm going to look for articles and/or interviews.....

Here is Fisher's profile on the RGM website. I think it's an agency.  

They say that Fisher was an in-house development coordinator at Burberry Productions.

I have no idea what an in-house development coordinator is. I'm not sure I care enough to try to figure out what it means.

But I WILL look up Burberry Productions.  

They are a TV production company that is no longer active.

I guess they still have a website for nostalgic purposes...or for curious people like me.

They made Last Man Standing and The Sleepover Club—two of Fisher's shows.

Fisher was also part of something called Scribe. It has to do with screen and play development.  

I think this Playmaker website is talking about the Scribe thing.

What is Playmaker?

Oh. Okay. It's an Australian television production company. 

They're responsible for the shows Hiding, Love Child, The Code, House Husbands, and Slide.

There are other shows as well. The ones above are just the ones I've heard of (or watched) before.

Scribe seems to be about Australian writers working with writers in Los Angeles to help them refine their work.

It kind of sounds like they're trying to make Australian writers more Hollywoodish. 

It could be because American shows have more mass-international appeal, and they're trying to get Australian shows the same amount of attention.  

There are shows in Australia that are fairly popular around the world. But I don't think there has been anything like America's Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead.  OR like the UK's Downton Abbey. 

Though I'm not sure it's about quality. 

It could be more about marketing and distribution.  

Anyway....

Here's some other stuff about Kirsty Fisher.

She has two small kids.

I wonder when that profile was written.

The small kids might be big kids now.

 And here's something quite interesting: Fisher has a stationery company called International Girl Aerogrammes. It's an initiative to get people back into letter writing.

Reading all my old letters this year and last year really made me miss letter-writing.

Then again, it could be that I lost(or greatly reduced) contact with pretty much EVERYONE from my past...except for my immediate family.

If  I was still in touch with people—texting them on a regular basis, I probably wouldn't have such a longing.

For example. In college, my first cousin and I frequently kept in touch with letter writing. We shared a lot. We were very much in touch.

Now I see him every few years at family gatherings, and it's just vague small talk.

What if we were still good friends? What if we texted on a weekly basis?  

So...it's probably my relationship to him that I miss and not the actual letter-writing.

* * *

Here's a 2009 review of International Girl Aerogrammes. I'm assuming it's the one that Fisher was co-creator/owner of.

I say was, because I tried to go to the actual website, and it doesn't work. It might have gone out of business?

The reviewer says the stationery designs have the aim of increasing awareness about cultures and languages. The example in the reviewer's photo has Arabic on the stationery.

The stationery is environmentally friendly—100% recycled. That's cool!

They have a quote from International Girl Aerogramme's mission. They say:

We believe that happiness and kindness come through slowing down and taking time: savoring the moment and being aware.

I definitely agree with this. Though it would be wise for me to work on putting it in practice more.

Well.....

Maybe my new way of doing biography posts is kind of on that path.

With the old way, I'd work all day. It was exhausting. And I'm sure I felt very rushed at times.

Now I'm writing the posts over several days. I feel less rushed. And also it gives me more time for other things.

* * *

Now I'm going to read an interview with Fisher and her Laid writing partner Marieke Hardy. It's in something called IF Magazine.

The article/interview is from 2012.

Fisher said she met Hardy when she was a script editor for a kids TV show that Hardy was writing for.

I wonder which one.

I guess I can just cross reference their filmographies.....

Looking at Hardy's filmography.  It looks like it was The Sleepover Club that brought them together.

In between The Sleepover Club and Laid, the two writers worked together on Last Man Standing.  

Fisher says this about her and Hardy's collaboration: 

I think our styles are slightly different. I think she does much more zingy one-liners and lots of pop culture references and I think I’m a bit more mushy. I often go for the heart and the warmth and the kind of poignant moment.

That makes collaboration sound really wonderful.

I haven't done much writing with other people. What Fisher says makes me want to. It sounds nice, working with your strengths and having someone else pick up the slack when it comes to your weaknesses.

My biggest weakness is probably descriptions. I'm horrible at describing people and settings.

It would be cool if I can have someone write the descriptions and I'd maybe do the dialogue?  We could both work on plot stuff.

Although I imagine sometimes things don't work out well. What if I have a writer friend that I adore. We want to work together but it ends up we both suck at writing descriptions. What if we both think we're good at writing dialogue, and we get all competitive and spiteful about that.

I like what Fisher says here: She’s a lot stronger on the directing – in rehearsals she’s much more able to direct performers because she understands that language. She understands how to communicate it in a way that’s sort of subtle and diplomatic rather than me going “not like that!

Funny! And I like Fisher's self-awareness. She seems to understand her strengths and weaknesses.

Oh!  I could have just kept reading.

In Marieke's section, she reveals that the children's show was The Sleepover Club.

Now I'm wondering why Fisher was vague about it. Did she forget the show?  Was she trying to be mysterious? Is she embarrassed of it?

* * *

Now I'm reading an interview with Benjamin Law regarding The Family Law.

He says something similar to what Fisher said about collaboration. AND he also seems to agree with what Fisher said regarding her emotional writing.

He says: Even in the series two iteration of the writers room, there are all of these different elements that complement each other. Lawrence Leung brings a lot of heart. Kirsty Fisher brings so much emotional depth, but also logic as well. She will say “This doesn’t make sense. This would make sense if you were in *this* situation”. Sophie Miller just has the vision. I provide really bad jokes, half of which don’t work. And Julie Eckersley who is our producer, who is in the room as well, has an acting background. So, when we can’t understand a scene, she gets up out of her chair to act it out.

That's very cool.

* * *

Here's an article, in The Age, about Fisher, Hardy, and Laid.

Now suddenly I'm naming the websites that I'm visiting.. I mean I usually do that when it comes to IMDb, Twitter, and stuff like that. But I don't usually name the places I'm finding the articles or blogposts.

So, now I'm thinking what I really need, in terms of collaboration, is a writer who is good at consistency.

I'm horrible at being consistent.

For example....

Should I write out numbers or should I just use the actual number?

When I talk about TV shows, should I talk in present tense or past tense. Should it be Ryan Corr is in Packed to the Rafters or Ryan Corr was in Packed to the Rafters.

Anyway.....

Paul Kalina, the author of the article, describes Laid as part gentle black comedy, part romantic fable.

I like that—gentle black comedy.

I wonder what other shows would fit into that description. 

Maybe Santa Clarita's Diet?  The gore of the show is FAR from gentle. It's very gruesome. But the characters are so sweet...even though they're committing murder.

Hardy is big on declaring that her show is not about female empowerment or a female fightback show.

Why? What's so wrong with that?  

I mean not every show has to be about female empowerment. But why would someone feel the need to promote the fact that it's not.  

It's like she's worried people will avoid the show because they're afraid of feminist themes.  

There's also stuff in the article about making sure Roo (Alison Bell) doesn't seem like too much of a slut. Because then she could end up being unlikeable.

Yikes.  

And they didn't want Roo to be too beautiful, because it might be a put off to female viewers.

Okay. That one I'm guilty of.

Sort of.

There have been actresses I've been resistant to, because they were too pretty. When I first saw their shows, I saw them as mindless, boring Barbie Dolls. But within an episode or two, I quite adored them.

The two that come to mind are Amanda Schull in 12 Monkeys and Lauren German in Lucifer.

I also have issues when almost every woman on a show looks like models. The newer episodes of Home and Away were like that for me. Too much prettiness. 

* * *

As for social media....

There are quite a few Kirsty Fisher's on Twitter,  but I don't think any of them are the subject of this post.

How about Instagram?

No. I'm not finding the right Kirsty Fisher there either.

I don't have a Facebook account, so I'm not going to explore that avenue.

So...I guess this will be the end.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Hugh Sheridan's Singing Career and also the Oscars

I dreamed about the actor Hugh Sheridan last night.

I'm inside a building watching Packed to the Rafters. Then I decide to watch one of Hugh Sheridan's music videos. I see that he has joined a band. It seems to maybe be an American band. I walk as I listen and end up passing Hugh Sheridan. I tell him I'm watching his video.

Sheridan seems sad and insecure. He asks me if if I've watched this other video of his. I get the feeling that this video he mentions is from back when he was doing music independently. 

The idea I got was that Sheridan was unhappy with the band and wanted affirmation for his solo career.

I also dreamed about watching the Oscars with people and having ideas for future shows.

Here are some of them.

A) Instead of having a In Memoriam montage, have a montage of people still with us. Now it wouldn't show every living person in the film industry. Of course. But it could show people that we've kind of forgotten—the ones that might surprise us by still being alive.

B) Let go of the whole fashion aspect of the Oscars and have everyone wear their pajamas. BUT then I started thinking what if there's a person who's always dreamed of dressing up and attending the Oscars. Then when it finally happens, they're robbed of the chance. SO...my amended idea is that the Oscars go half and half.  For part of the night, everyone gets dressed up. Then they have an intermission where everyone changes into their pajamas.

This morning when I thought about it, I realized it wouldn't be as good as I imagine. I thought of bras. Women would probably wear those, and that would greatly decrease the comfort aspect. Of course, they could choose not to. But then it would be noticed by viewers. There'd be all kinds of nasty comments. Then there'd be fights about the comments.

But you know what. I just realized. It would probably lead to a protest at the next award ceremony, and NO women would wear a bra. They'd all be comfortable.

Oh shit. No, that wouldn't work. What about women who are more comfortable in a bra?  I'm wondering if this happens for women who have really big breasts. Do bras make them more comfortable or less so?

Well, I just Googled. And from what I'm seeing, the answer might be no. For example, there's this article which is titled, "How Going Braless for a Week Taught Me to Love My DD Breasts." And here's another article about how to go braless if you have large breasts.

I'm thinking my pajama party oscars will be braless!  For the most part. If some attendees choose to wear a bra, I hope no one will shame them. And vice versa.

The other thing I worry about is that the pajamas will become a fashion show in itself.  I hope not. I hope people wear pajamas they picked up at Goodwill, Target or a department store.  Or I hope they go the T-shirt and shorts route, and the T-shirt is something fun they picked up on their trip to Thailand. Or something like that.

I hope the pajama thing doesn't become a showcase for fashion designers.  Well, no. You can't get around that. Because all clothes are created by a designer. Maybe instead I should say, I hope designers don't create pajamas specifically for the event. I hope it's more casual...with attendees buying off the rack kind of stuff.  Or they could just search through their closet to find something. 

Oh...by the way.  I got a call from the doctor on Thursday. She left a message. I don't know much, because they haven't yet returned my return call or email.  All I know is that I AM having some type of seizure, and they want me on medication.  I've been reading about common seizure medications and some of them have the side effect of vivid dreams.  Most people online seem to describe these dreams as being terrifying. Yet I can't help but be sort of excited. I've always loved vivid, crazy dreams.  Though I'm trying to tell myself that I'm going to regret this eagerness, because the dreams actually sound kind of like insanity.  People say the dreams seem so real, and they have trouble distinguishing the dreams from reality.

Is my life going to turn into Jacob's Ladder or something?

Then again, I talked to someone, who I know personally, that's on those meds. She says she doesn't have crazy dreams. I don't know if I should feel reassured or disappointed by that.

Well, I guess one reassuring thing is that the people on the message boards don't sound at all crazy. They sound very lucid. So I think it's only at night and in the morning when they're confused.

Anyway, what I was trying to say before I rambled on and on again is that if I DO end up on these particular drugs and my dreams DO get even more crazy, then I'll probably have even more annoying dream posts. 

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

On a Boat with Some Rafters and Toadie

I had a lot of dreaming last night.

Most of it seemed to have a The Silence of the Lambs aura or connection. And that is fitting, because we watched some of the movie last night.

There was a moment with looking for props from the movie and mention of fava beans.

There was also something with Anthony Hopkins on social media, and he used some kind of cool trick with a blue balloon.

There was a moment with looking for props from the movie, and a mention of fava beans.

AND....

I dreamed I was on a boat with some Aussie TV characters, including Dave Rafter and Rachel Rafter from Packed to the Rafters, and Toadie from Neighbours.

Rachel almost drowned, and in the process of saving her, Dave DID drown.

I don't remember what Toadie was doing. I guess he was just there.

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-beloved to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

Taking a Hiatus From My Hiatus

I feel awkward about writing this post.

Should I just jump in and pretend I didn't take a break for a few weeks?

Should I dramatically announce my return?

The latter would make more sense if I had a lot of people regularly reading my blog.

But I think I have about about 3 or less people that come on a regular basis.

Well...anyway. I'm back.  I might be back for a long time...and on a consistent basis. I might be back but with sporadic posts. I might end up saying screw this and take another hiatus after this post. Or this could be my very last post.  I have no idea.

Anyway...I thought I'd post some updates and random thoughts.

1. I still hate Trump and most of the Republican party

2. I ended up NOT having to wait a long time to see a neurologist.  I ended up with an appointment in early June. I had an MRI. I never heard back about that, so I'm guessing my brain looked unremarkable. Last week I had a three day EEG test. I'm supposed to get those results in August. I might write more about that in another post.

3. Our two cats (Annie and Yeti) are getting along decently. There's a fight with rolling, hissing, and growling at least once a day.  BUT most of the time they're sitting peacefully in the same room together, playing together, etc

Here's a lovely video of the same moment captured in the above photograph.  If anyone is interested.

And what kind of insane person would NOT be interested in watching a cat video???!!!! Huh?  I hope it's not YOU!

4. We watched season 2 of Westworld. That led us to needing to re-watch season 1. And then we ended up watching part of season 2 again!  I became quite obsessed. I love that show.  I don't remember loving it so much the first time.

5. Tim helped me define something I've liked for a long time: Midcentury Modern. I had no idea there was a name for it.  The conversation started when Jack told me The Brady Bunch house was for sale. I got very excited as he expected I would. I guess I then also mentioned loving that certain scene in Westworld.  Tim ended up telling me there was a name for that kind of style.  Well...this is something else I might have to do a separate post on.

6. We watched the It movie, and I thought it was pretty much crap. Though I did like Bill Skarsgard as Pennywise. I watched a bit of him in interviews, and I think he's adorable.

What I hated most is what they did with Beverly.

After we watched the movie, we went and re-watched the miniseries. Or really. I watched it. Tim ended up sleeping through the majority of it.

The miniseries is corny, but I like it a lot.

7. I watched the last season of Packed to the Rafters. The dementia storyline was incredibly sad, and I think quite well done.  I think it's the first time I've encountered a story where a character we've grown to know and like/love loses their memory. Usually I see things where we see a character struggling with a loved one, but we haven't personally gotten to know their loved one. I end up feeling sympathy for the character, but with Packed to the Rafters I felt my own sort of grief.

8. I watched the first season of Steven Universe, which is one of Jack's favorite shows. It was hard for me to get into it, and I daydreamed through the first several episodes. But, by the end, I loved it.

9.  I'm still watching Coronation Street. Pat Phelan (Connor McIntyre) is very dead, but the show is giving me someone new to despise. I'm talking about you, Johnny Connor (Richard Harley)!  Actually I'm pretty much hating the whole Connor family...except for the recently, tragically deceased Aidan (Shayne Ward)

10. I watched some of Stella, Call the Midwife, The 4400, and Doc Marten.  I enjoyed my time with all those shows and look forward to watching more.

Doc Marten made me want to go to Cornwall!

11. We watched the first two episodes of Sharp Objects. I'm bored by it, but am going to give it a few more episodes.  The only thing I have found interesting so far is when the guy pulled the teeth. But I also found that to be unbearably disgusting.

12. We watched the first episode of Who is America. The gun stuff was disgusting, evil, shocking, and amazingly done. The other stuff, I think, is entertaining, but makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.  If you embarrass a politician, lobbyist, etc. I think you're contributing greatly to society...especially if you get them to reveal the dark things they've been trying to hide. But if you end up humiliating a decent person just for shock value....

Well, that's a different story.

13. Our most recent show is Outcast. I'm loving it. I have this idea that although we're supposed to think it's about demonic possession, something else is actually going on. Like...aliens? Or time travelers.

Though I love stories about demonic possession, now that I have the alternate idea in my head, I think I'm going to be disappointed if it ends up being a possession thing.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Three Levels of Gaslighting

I saw more gaslighting on H20: Just Add Water. It's inspired me to write another post. And...who am I kidding? Gaslighting is obviously one of my obsessions.

One thing funny is that Angus McLaren plays the gaslighter on H2O: Just Add Water. About a year ago, I wrote a post about his character on Packed to the Rafters being the VICTIM of gaslighting.

Anyway, I've decided to come up with three levels of gaslighting. I don't know. I think I really like putting things into levels and categories.

So, here we go....

LEVEL ONE-This is where the end goal of the gaslighter is to make their victim believe they (the victim) is insane. They want to cause hurt.They want to damage the person they love...or pretend to love.

 I don't think I've ever been a victim of this, and I hope it's very rare. Though I have to admit, in a small scale way, I was once the perpetrator. It was a mean trick I played on a friend in fifth or sixth grade. I think she was reminiscing about something we did together, and I pretended not to remember. I seriously doubt I was hoping for her to lose her insanity. But still...

My memory of it is vague, but I do remember my friend seeming hurt and very frustrated. To me, the incident validates what I've come to learn and believe about gaslighting. It HURTS to have our memories and perceptions denied by others...even if it's over trivial things.

Hopefully I told my poor friend the truth and didn't leave her questioning her sanity.

I think the reason behind my bad behavior is I often felt rejected, and insecure, so I wanted her to get a taste of that. It might have been my way of saying, Hey you're so not important to me that I don't even remember  this thing that you claim we experienced together. 

There's my weak excuse for evil.

What other reasons would people have for purposely trying to make people question their sanity?

Some might do it for pure sadism. They might be everyday sadists and/or psychopaths.

They might use gaslighting as a way to weaken their victim, so they have more control over their victim.

They might make their victim question their perception and memory over small things so later it's easier to trick their victim when it comes to much bigger things.

All, in all it's sinister...and even more so if it's done on a regular basis.

LEVEL TWO-In this level, the gaslighter doesn't actually want to cause harm to the victim. They just want to protect themselves from getting into trouble.They want to avoid being shamed or blamed. They want to protect their reputation. They want to avoid drama.

I've experienced gaslighting on this level. Or at least I assume that I have. It could be that I've experienced level one gaslighting and gave the gaslighter too much benefit of the doubt. Or it could be the experiences were at level three, and I wasn't giving the gaslighter enough benefit of the doubt.

Really. I think the only person who truly knows what level the gaslighting is at is the gaslighter themselves. I don't think the victim can know for sure.

With level two gaslighting, I believe what the gaslighter wants is to be able to lie, and...no harm done.  The victim believes the lie and then everyone can go happily on with their business. The gaslighter fails to understand that it's psychologically harmful to be pushed to believe we are wrong about what we saw, heard, and experienced.

Even with trivial things, it can be harmful.  Like: You said you were going to the grocery store after work.  

I never said that!

Grocery store, not a huge deal. But then the victim has to start questioning things. Is he lying? Am I losing my mind? My hearing? Is there something wrong with me?

But it's even worse with big things—events and experiences that actually hurt us. I think when we are pushed to believe the bad experience didn't happen, the pain is doubled...maybe even tripled. We lose trust in the gaslighter. We lose trust in ourselves. We can't even begin a process of forgiveness, because we've been told what happened never happened. 

What I hope is that the more people become aware of gaslighting, the more people will realize it is NOT a good thing to do to others.  For sadists and psychopaths, it won't matter. But for people who care about others and want to be decent, if they understand the harm of gaslighting, I think they will try to stop doing it.

LEVEL THREE-I think this is where the gaslighter actually believes their lie. Because they are in denial. They rewrite history in their mind or they interpret their own behavior too kindly.

Now I don't want this confused with the person who is accused of gaslighting but is not gaslighting. It's just a disagreement over what happened. Why are you glaring at me like that?

Glaring? I'm not glaring! I was just looking at you!

We could look at this one incident on all the levels and the non-level.

NON-GASLIGHTING- She really WAS just looking and not glaring. Maybe she was looking in admiration, and now shit, she's being accused of glaring.

LEVEL 3- She was glaring, because she has subconscious anger. She imagines she was just looking but her friend knows otherwise.

LEVEL 2- Okay. She was glaring. But how embarrassing that she's been caught. She'll just pretend it never happened. No harm done. Right?

LEVEL 1- She glares on purpose because it's so hilarious to see her friend get angry. She loves messing with her friend like this. And then like always, she'll deny it, because it's also fun seeing her friend get confused.

Again, as victims we can't tell what level we're facing. Only the gaslighter knows, and even they might not be able to tell the difference.

As for false accusations of gaslighting....

 I think it can definitely happen. People can become hyper-sensitive and paranoid especially if they've been victims of gaslighting in the past. They might mistake forgetting for lying. They might be quick to believe that other people are trying to fool them. They're going to be especially suspicious with someone who has used gaslighting on them in the past. Gaslighters are probably going to suffer a variation of the cry-wolf syndrome.

I also fear, though, that there are more sinister false accusations.  I think as more and more people learn about gaslighting through the media and the more people are confronted about it....

Well, I think while this will lead some gaslighters to self-improvement; other gaslighters might take the knowledge and add it to their manipulation arsenal. They might fight back by deliberately making things up; then when disbelieved, cry gaslighting.

 Let's say Jennifer has been gaslit by her brother Andrew.  She brings up something he did a year ago and he pretends it never happened. He tries to get her to believe she imagined it all.  She accuses him of gaslighting. He has no idea what it is. She explains. He tries to manipulate his way out of it, but she can sense that he knows he's in the dog house.

In the next  couple of years, Andrew starts talking about things he "remembers" happening.  For example, he brings up this very kind thing he did for Jennifer. Jennifer has absolutely no memory of it happening. It's very strange, because she usually has a very good memory...especially when it comes to people doing nice things for her.  She suspects that Andrew is lying, but she doesn't want to accuse him, because she fears that he's going to then accuse HER of gaslighting. And since she has been a victim of gaslighting, she has a lowered self-esteem and a distrust in her own memory. So she doesn't have the confidence to confront him. 

Jennifer wonders what's happening. Did Andrew do something nice for her and somehow she actually did forget? Is he imagining that he did something nice to her?  Is he confusing fantasy with reality?  Maybe he's confusing her with their other sister? A friend? Coworker?  OR is Andrew purposely trying to mess with her mind?  If Jennifer says she doesn't remember, he can accuse her of gaslighting and that will give him leverage the next time he tries to gaslight her.

You're gaslighting me!

Yeah. And you've gaslighted ME before as well! We BOTH do it to each other. So don't make out like I'm the only bad guy here.

It's kind of like reverse-gaslighting.

Anyway...writing and thinking about all this makes me sort of want to become a hermit. 

Read my online novel: The Dead are Online 

TV Shows and Movies I Watched in 2017

As I said in my last post, fiction plays a huge part in my life. To honor the love I have for TV shows and movies, I've decided to make a list of what I watched in 2017.  I'm going to try and divide it by geography, because I feel that engaging in fiction is a fantastic (and relatively cheap) way to travel.

Someone reading this might be saying, Well what about books?  

I've been a bookworm all my life, but sadly this year, I hit a bit of a...what's the word?  Lag? Bad luck? I think I read much less than I usually do.  Now things are better because I'm taking the safe route and rereading something I already love (The Dark Tower series and related books).  With that I've spent time in NYC, Arizona, Las Vegas, Maine, California, other places around the USA, the Territories, and whatever world the Gunslinger is from. Shit. I don't know. 

I also spent some time in Japan and another alternate universe via Haruki Murakami. 

I read maybe a few other books. I don't think they left much of an impression on me.

Now onto the TV shows and movies...mostly TV shows, because I'm not a huge movie fan anymore. I don't often watch them.  

Note: For TV shows, I watch one season at a time.  If I remember what seasons I watched this year, I'll mark it down. 

Second Note: Shows I loved are colored blue. Shows I didn't like are colored red. 

AUSTRALIA

Suicide Theory

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (Season 1) 

The Kettering Incident

Tracks 

H20-Just Add Water (season 1) 

Redfern Now

Ravenous 

Holding the Man 

Nature's Grave

The Eye of the Storm 

Better Man 

Packed to the Rafters (Season 5) 

Offspring (Season 6) 

City Homicide (Season 3 and am now watching season 4) 

All Saints (Season 2 and 3) 

Rake (Season 3) 

Deep Water 

USA

Speechless (Season 1 and part of season 2)

Goliath

Sneaky Pete 

The Good Place (season 1 and part of season 2)

Bloodline (Season 2) 

Bates Motel (season 4?)

The Mindy Project 

House (Season 4, and slowly making my way through season 5) 

This is Us (Season 1 and part of season 2)

Wet Hot American Summer 

Hannibal Yes. I loved the first season and part of the second season. Then.....

Gravity Falls

Roots 

American Crime Story 

Modern Family 

The Arrival 

Big Little Lies 

Sirens 

Fargo 

12 Monkeys 

Devious Maids 

Grey's Anatomy (Season 1) 

My So-Called Life

Zoo We didn't mind it at first.

Spiderman-Homecoming

Master of None

Sense 8 (Season 1 and 2) (putting it here, though, it takes place in many countries) 

The Office (Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4) 

John Dies at the End

Walking Dead

Dead Like Me 

Lost (Season 1) (Sometimes Merica) By the way, got pulled into an Instagram drama that made me lose a lot of love for the show. Kind of a sad bit of my 2017. 

Midnight Texas

The Originals 

Stranger Things 2 The first season was my La La Land, but I really loved the second season. 

Will and Grace  

The Good Doctor 

The Exorcist (season 2)

Underground (Season 1) 

Containment 

UK

The Vicar of Dibley (Season 1)  

Criminal Justice (Season 2)

Coronation Street

Miranda (Season 1) 

The Syndicate (Season 2) 

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 

Fresh Meat 

Pramface 

The IT Crowd 

Outnumbered 

Stella (Season 3?)

The Thick of It

Dead Set 

Black Mirror-In the midst of watching that now. 

CANADA

Little Mosque (Season 2) 

Being Erica (Season 1) 

Mommy

Degrassi Next Class 

Heartland (Season 1, and watching season 2 now) 

JAPAN

Naruto (season 1)

Tokyo Ghoul (Season 1) 

Blue Exorcist (Season 1) I'm realizing that Anime and I are not a good match.

NOT OUR WORLD

Game of Thrones (Season 7)

The Shannara Chronicles 

ISRAEL

Srugim (Season 1 and 2)

MEXICO

Fear the Walking Dead (Season 2) 

Coco 

BELGIUM

Mr. Nobody (multiple locations, really) 

FRANCE

Paris J'Taime 

GERMANY

Look Who's Back

Dark 

ROMANIA

Beyond the Hills 

Yet another note: It was easy to mark things red, but not so easy to mark things blue.  There's a lot of things I'm unsure about.  For example, every Canadian show would be maybe blue, but probably less blue  than my blues from other countries. And I didn't want to mark EVERYTHING blue in Canada. So I marked down nothing blue.  I'm not sure if that makes any sense.  

Happy New Year!!

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

You're Fine. Come on. Let's Talk about Something Else!

I'm watching an episode of Packed to the Rafters now, and it's filling my head with confusion and doubt.

In the episode, Ted (Michael Caton) has been having symptoms of dementia. He's gone to a doctor for testing, and things don't look so good for him. For the last few episodes. he has kept his condition secret from his family. At the end of the last episode, he told his daughter Julie (Rebecca Gibney). In the episode I'm watching now, we get to see her reaction. She's in total denial. She refuses to believe anything is wrong with her father. She's very reluctant to discuss it.

It makes me wonder about my own life.

I have major issues with the way people in my life deal with my health concerns. This has been going on for the last ten years or so, and it keeps getting worse.

I feel most members of my family are usually dismissive when I talk about my health concerns. I feel they don't believe me. I feel they're not interested in my worries. I feel they see me as a hypochondriac.I feel they don't want the conversation to turn to my problems, because it takes time away from them talking about their problems.

Now seeing Julie and her father, it's making me question things.

Could it be that my family is dismissive because they love me so damn much, and they can't stand the thought of something bad happening to me?

Maybe.

I have a lot of doubts, though.  

I think it would be easier to believe in the super-love thing if my family didn't talk so much about their own health problems and the health problems of others. There are people who are scared of health issues in general and want to change the subject whenever that comes up. If I was among those type of folks, I'd still be annoyed by their dismissiveness but probably more understanding.

But if people talk a lot about their own health, and then say things to make you feel you're turning molehills into mountains when you talk about your health....

Well then...

It's hard for me to believe that's a loved-scared thing rather than a self-centered thing...OR a we-take-you-for-granted-thing. Yeah. If this was happening to someone else, we'd totally be freaking out!  But since it's happening to you...ah, no big deal.  I'm sure you'll be fine.

I mean really. What would Ted think if Julie had previously freaked out about herself having dementia, but then when Ted had symptoms, she was dismissive? That would be quite a different story.

I could sort of relate to Ted keeping his issue a secret for awhile. I did that too. He did it, because he didn't want people to worry. That was part of the reason I did it. From what I've experienced in the past, I didn't think it was likely that I'd see much worrying from my family.  But it did bother me to imagine them worrying too much—being overly sad or anxious.

The main reason, though, that it took me awhile to tell my parents, husband, and sister is I worried they'd be dismissive, and I worried I'd end up feeling stupid. I also worried that if they were dismissive, I'd be even less likely to go to a doctor if needed. I hate going to doctors in the first place, because of THEIR dismissiveness and the high financial cost. But it's even harder for me to want to go when I get it in my mind that I'm the only one who truly thinks I have a problem, and everyone else thinks I'm being ridiculous.

I did tell people in my family eventually...one at a time.

One of my sisters did seem to worry, not too much, but in a reasonable manner. Then later, it seemed like she decided it was not a big deal after all. And in the following weeks, it felt to me like she had forgotten about the subject all together. I told my husband and he seemed barely interested at all. Actually, I might have told him first and not my sister?

Anyway....

I avoided telling my parents because I THINK I wanted to postpone it and keep up the fantasy in my head that they'd care a lot. I imagined them saying, Oh my God. Why did you take so long to tell us? You should have told us sooner! 

When I did tell them, they acted like it was no big deal at all and pretty much dropped the subject. They didn't ask any questions. They didn't seem to want to know more than the tiny amount I had told them. When the subject was brought up again the next day, by my sisters, my mom kept changing the subject to her own health.

Really. How do you know when someone's bad behavior is caused by love and concern rather than self-centeredness, disinterest, and callousness?

If I was a nicer person, I'd probably just give people the benefit of the doubt. But my gut instinct and past experiences tell me to do otherwise.

I guess the farthest I can go at this point is have some small amount of faith that people can change—that people can reduce their self-centeredness, disinterest, and callousness to the point that they do one day show a reasonable and loving amount of concern.  If they do this out of real love and not as a way to humor me or stop me from complaining, (and without any gaslighting!), that would be incredibly wonderful.

The sad thing is, though, hope and second chances don't often go as well as we'd wish them to. Plus, there's the inconvenient fact that life has made me very skeptical, so even if their concern did become real, I might not easily believe them. Then again, convincing-faked concern is better than a lot of what I've received in the past.  So I'd try to be at least a little bit appreciative.  


Edited to Add:

1. Now that I think more about it, my husband did act concerned for about 45 seconds. Then he seemed to forget the whole thing.  I was wrong in saying he seemed barely interested. Though he acted much less interested than I think I would have acted if I had heard the same information.

2. I should add that my other sister actually acted concerned to a level that I appreciate. Well...she acted the way I'd want people to act in this situation. She asked questions, showed interest, and brought it up on later occasions...which indicated to me that the information hadn't go in one ear and out the other.  Note: I'm being extra symbolic with the ear thing, because I actually told them through email.  So it would really be in through one eye and out the other eye.  Ouch. That sounds painful.

3. Finishing that episode of Packed to the Rafters made me realize that denial about someone else's medical condition is shitty even if it does come out of love.

Julie is being very unsupportive. She refuses to believe that her dad has memory problems. She treats him like he's totally overreacting, and it's all in his imagination.

I could kind of understand if Ted was much younger. Let's say he was in his thirties or forties. It's pretty rare for someone that age to have dementia. But Ted's pretty up there in age. It's not too far-fetched to imagine he has serious memory issues.

4. The moral of the story is if someone has a medical concern, we're not helping them at all by pushing the idea that they're fine, and there's nothing to worry about. At best, they MIGHT be fine...physically, but we're making their emotional strain that much worse.  In a worse case scenario, if there is something wrong and we convince them nothing is wrong; that might be medically dangerous.  This happened on a British show I watched—Outnumbered.  One of the characters tried to tell a coworker in distress that no, he (the coworker) wasn't having a heart attack. He was fine. And then...the coworker died.  Oops.    

Read my novel: The Dead are Online