Instead of SAT's and ACT's

I think we should get rid of all SAT and ACT's and instead just have the students watch Dark on Netflix and then write out all the various family trees.  Or they could just answer a bunch of multiple choice and true false questions regarding the Neilson, Kahnwald, Doppler, and Tiedemann family trees.

Those who can answer the questions correctly by watching each episode only once can get into the most prestigious schools. Those who need to rewatch AND watch explanatory videos on YouTube will get into the less prestigious schools.

Tim and I watched the first season when it came out. I say we understood about 75% of it. We did okay.

BUT....

We both forgot most of it by the time season 2 came out. We were lost. We had to read fan pages and watch fan videos to help us along.

A few days ago, Tim announced the exciting news. Season 3 is coming on Saturday.

I didn't want to go through the same confusion we went through while watching season 2, so I suggested that we put a pause on season 11 of The Big Bang Theory, and rewatch the last four episodes of Dark.  I chose four, because we usually watch one episode of 40-60 minute dramas a night. And we had four nights until the premiere. So....

I also read summaries of some of the characters.

We watched a fan video together.

And I watched an official Netflix recap video.

I feel I'm doing okay understanding things.  I still get confused about certain characters and character connections. 

Some Problems with the White Savior Trope

Lately I've been very annoyed with the white savior trope.

This is where a story's or situation's focus is on what white people have done to help people who are not within the circle of whiteness.

Movie examples of this include The Help, The Blindside, Green Book, Dances with Wolves, and Avatar.

The funny thing is, I've not seen any of those movies...except for a portion of The Blindside.  I remember finding it annoying. But I can't remember why.

Well, I'm guessing it was the white savior issues. I think maybe I had already been educated in why these types of stories are problematic. If I was ignorant of the issue, I might have been more receptive to the movie.

Although....

Now I'm wondering if I have some kind of natural aversion to the white savior mentality. Because I seem to have been born with an aversion to Avatar. The movie looked very unappealing to me when it came out. AND I kind of hate Pandora in Disney World.

I've also never had any bit of interest in seeing Dances with Wolves. Though I do like the music from it.

The Help did look good to me...before I knew it had white savior issues. The Green Book became a no for me as soon as my parents so strongly recommended it. Then I read about how it has white savior issues, and I understood why my parents would like it so much.

There are probably white savior movies and books that I HAVE enjoyed in the past...back when I was more ignorant of the trope.

So anyway.

I was hating on white savior stuff.

Then Schindler's List came into my head...for some reason. I'm not sure why.

I think that's been labeled as white savior. Even, though, it's white Jews being saved, they're saved by a white gentile. And it's the same sort of mentality. A marginalized, abused group of people is rescued or assisted by a person in the dominant, powerful group.

Well, I'm looking on Google to see if I'm right about Schindler's List being labeled white savior. In this film review, Noah Berlatsky labels it (and The Zookeeper's Wife) as being gentile savior.  That's probably a better term.

Okay, so I was thinking about Schindler's List. And I loved that movie.

When seeing it (multiple times) in the 1990's, I felt no ill will towards Oskar Schindler or other "righteous gentiles" who helped Jews in the Holocaust.

I still don't.

I feel gratitude.

So I started to feel some cognitive dissonance.

Why do I have a problem with storylines or situations that center around white people helping black people but I didn't/don't have problems with storylines centered around gentiles helping Jews?

Well, one thing is, I haven't seen Schindler's List or any gentile savior film lately.

If I saw Schindler's List today, I might be more bothered by it.

And back in the 1990's, I would have probably exited a white savior film feeling choked up and inspired.

Another thing is, I think I've been so annoyed with white savior mentality that I was throwing away the baby with the bathwater.

Well, I definitely wasn't of the mindset that white people should stop helping black people. But maybe I was thinking they should be 100% quiet about it and not expect any recognition or gratitude.

Now after rethinking things, I think white people (or gentiles) should be 90% quiet about it and be satisfied with a very minimal amount of recognition and gratitude.

What I really wanted to talk about in this post, though, is why I don't like the whole white savior thing. Instead, I ended up rambling on about how I might have been judging it too harshly.

So let me try to get to where I actually wanted to be in the first place.

What do I not like about the white savior mentality?

I think there are two main problems with it.

A) By focusing on the positive, it draws attention away from the negative. And when it comes to things like racism, sexism, and anti-semitism, we really need to be not dropping the ball when it comes to the negative.

If we're so touched by a white family adopting a black football player, we might give much less attention to the white policemen who are shooting black men. Or we might not know that black people are STILL slaves, in prison, via the very unfair and racist criminal justice system.

The white savior complex can give people the idea that racism has ended...thanks to nice white people.

When it comes to racism at this point in our history, I think we should be slightly thankful and inspired, but those feelings should be very overshadowed by our anger, concern, and disgust.

Do I have a right to tell people how to feel?

No. Of course not.

But then I'd say put down your Green Book and watch some things like Roots, The Underground, When They See Us, and 13th. And then see how you're feeling. OR just go to this Google Doc and read some of the stories behind the various petitions. 

There's a saying that's been going around. If you're not angry, you're not paying attention.

I agree.

Because, a few years ago, I was one of those people not paying attention.

Michael Brown

Trayvon Martin.

I wasn't paying attention.

I heard the word:  Zimmerman. Hoodie. Police. Stand Your Grand, Ferguson.

I knew it was bad stuff. I knew it was wrong.

But until I started paying attention, I was only THINKING it was wrong...in a vague kind of apathetic way. I wasn't feeling it.

Well, and that wasn't the fault of me being blinded by white savior stuff. I think I was more preoccupied with my Australia obsession and other things.

If I had seen any white savior stuff, though....it might have lulled me further into complacency.

Okay and onto my other reason.....

B) White saviors may be narcissists.

These narcissists may not be officially DSM level narcissists.  But subclinical can be shitty enough.

For narcissistic white saviors, it's not about the cause. It's about the narcissist.

They want recognition. A LOT of it.

They want gratitude. A LOT of it.

I think one sign of this is that the narcissist show very little concern or interest in how the cause is doing after they've finished doing their part.  They made their contribution. They were awesome. Story over.

They're not very interested in updates.

They certainly don't want to hear that the problems are continuing.

There's an attitude of, I donated my time. I donated my money! What more do you want from me?

Well...we just wanted you to know things are still really shitty. We don't necessarily want more of your time or your money. But we want you to listen and understand.

And we'd also like you to stop imagining that you're the main character in this drama!!!!!!

The white savior narcissist downplays the problems of the present and over-glorifies their contributions from the past.

The white savior narcissist cares very little about the actual cause. They care a lot about being one of the main protagonists of the cause.

Well...and I should be fair and open-minded. For some of these narcissists, they didn't do work just in the past. They may be helping in the present as well.  But they're the ones who have to share stories of all or most of their good deeds.

Their Instagram is splattered with selfies taken at protests.

They forward emails of praise and thanks they've received to all their family and friends.

They write long overdramatic emails about how they have helped someone; then to try to soften the braggingness, they add a bit about feeling changed and inspired by the person they helped.

All of this is much less awful when the person truly cares about the cause. I think there are people who can truly care about and work hard for a cause while, at the same time, being overly needy of attention and adoration.

It's much more awful when the person doesn't really give a shit about the cause.  OR...when the person pretends, in public, to be inspired by the people they're helping while in private they act disgusted. There's an attitude of, These damn losers would be completely lost if people like me weren't helping them. 

And maybe this mindset is partly the fault of the white savior or gentile savior tropes. Maybe we'd have less of the above attitude if we'd put more focus on antisemitism stories where Jews are the main protagonists and more racism stories where Black people are the main protagonists.

Or maybe it wouldn't help.

Maybe some people are going to always gravitate towards the white savior stories, because it feels more comfortable to them and more rewarding. But I think there are a lot of other, stronger, people that are open to seeking out movies, shows, books, etc. that turn away from the white savior (or gentile savior) narrative.

On the other hand...when some of us become angry to the point that we've lost all hope and love, a tiny dose of the white savior trope might be the medicine we need.  Well....unless we've become too cynical, and it just pisses us off even more.

What would our world be like if we

knew for sure there 

was life after death, and 

we could easily talk to our 

dearly-departed on the Internet?

The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts 

You Have a Lot of Black Friends!

You have a lot of black friends.

You don't judge people on the color of their skin.

You're not racist. 

You don't have a racist bone in your body.

You love black people.

Okay. 

Let's imagine you have a friend.

We'll call her Polly.

Why?  

Because that name just popped into my head.

Anyway...Polly says she is your friend. She tells other people that you and she are friends.

Let's say your parents abuse you. Your whole life they've been letting you know that they think you're worthless, ugly, unimportant, unloveable, dumb, etc.  They've made you feel horrible about yourself.  But you start to fight back. You start to realize they're wrong. 

One day you are talking to Polly. In tears, you proclaim, I am important!  I matter. 

How does Polly respond?  She says, EVERYONE is important. Everyone matters!

Okay. Let's move onto another scenario.  

You are in an abusive relationship. Your partner hits you, kicks you, and throws things at you when he is angry.

You go to your friend Polly, because you need a friend that you can talk to. You tell Polly what your partner has been doing to you.

She says. Yeah. That's not nice of him. But he's not always that bad. Right? Sometimes he just has his bad moments. Everyone has their bad days.  And also, what you should really worry about is how YOU treat you. I've noticed you put on a little weight lately. Are you eating healthy enough? Are you exercising? Are you taking your vitamins?  

Next scenario:

You've been having a really difficult life. Things have always been hard for you. No one has really taken that much notice. And you have felt you almost always have to struggle on your own.  But now a new bad thing has happened to you. It's not actually the worse thing that's happened. Not by a long shot.

But....

The difference is, finally, lots of people have noticed. They are giving you extra attention and extra love.

They are saying, I'm so sorry we didn't pay attention to your crying in the past. This is our fault. We were shitty friends. But now we are going to do everything we can to help you. We are going to fight so hard to help you. 

Polly sees all this happening. She gets angry and says. Why are you getting all this attention? I have problems too. Why is everyone ignoring my problems?

Another scenario:

You've been bullied by your coworkers. Polly works there too. She doesn't bully you, but she also never sticks up for you. She just watches and shrugs her shoulders. 

You ask the bullies to please stop. You also write an email to your boss asking for her to help you. Your boss says to just ignore the bullies. 

No. You're not going to just ignore them. That's not acceptable.

You decide to try something. You don't put on your work uniform one day. Instead you put on an anti-bullying t-shirt.

Polly rolls her eyes when you come into work.

The bullies laugh at you.

Your boss says she understands you don't like being bullied, but the T-shirt is highly offensive and inappropriate. She says wear your uniform tomorrow or don't come back.

You stop wearing the shirt and you go back to wearing your uniform.

The bullying keeps happening. It gets worse and worse.

One day....

Enough becomes enough.

You are so angry. You are so sad.

You take your coffee mug and you throw it. It loudly hits the wall. Then you scream. And you start sobbing.

Polly insists that you calm down. She says, You know. I think it's horrible that you were bullied this week. Of course we all want to help you. But you didn't need to throw the mug and scream like that. You should have just quietly and peacefully said something. Violence helps no one!

So.....

Do you think Polly is a good friend?

If she a supportive friend?

Is she a helpful friend?

If she was your friend, would you feel loved by her?  And would it be a love that helps you stay strong? Would it be a love that helps you feel safe?  

It makes me feel hopeful that so many citizens (around the world!), companies, politicians, etc. are standing strongly behind Black Lives Matter.  Yeah. A little late. A lot late. But better late than never.

And some folks might be doing it because it's the new cool thing to do.  I think even that, though, has glimmers of hope.  Because all of our passions begin somewhere. 

Yes, there will be people who drop the interest as soon as the noise quiets down. 

BUT.... 

There are also going to be people who become huge fighters for Black Lives Matter. They will fight for decades. They might keep fighting until they are old. And they will look back and say, It all started in those days when we were wearing masks and that black man was murdered by the police. His name was George Floyd.  

And there will be presidents, senators, governors, mayors, etc. who truly care about Black Lives Matter, and they will hopefully manage to make some changes.

There will be corporations and other companies that actually truly want to better themselves. Or they don't truly care about black people. But they care about looking good to the people who DO care. So they will make changes that help bring us all to a better place. 

And then there are all the Polly's. 

Maybe some of them will eventually change. They'll become good friends—supportive and loving rather than toxic.

For those that refuse to change?  The ones who won't help. The ones who won't listen. The ones who don't care. The ones who whine, But what about me??? Where is MY parade? Where is MY special month? The ones who scold, Not now! It's not the time! Calm down! Be polite!

Well, I hope they find themselves isolated and disenchanted.  I hope they find themselves lonely in a changed world that no longer entertains and accepts their toxicity. 

Polly can say, I have a lot of friends.

And we'll say. We know this girl named Polly. No. She's not our friend. She's just someone we know. She's pretty damn annoying.  

My Feelings about the JK Rowling Drama

Let me start off by saying these things.

A) I think trans women are women and trans men are men.

B) I think it should be illegal for trans people to be fired for being trans.

C) I think people should use the bathrooms that make them the most comfortable.

D) I think teens (preteens?) should be able to go on puberty blockers so they don't have to go through the puberty experiences of the gender that is not theirs. 

E) I think it should be very illegal for doctors to refuse to treat Trans patients. I think if they refuse, they should lose their license.

F) I think insurance should cover sex reassignment surgery.

All that being said, I still love JK Rowling.  I still love Harry Potter. I am horrified by the way she's been treated.

Do I agree with the stuff she said?

I don't know. Because I don't fully understand it.  And the stuff that I do maybe understand, I'm not sure if I agree or not.

I argue with myself about it a lot.

I think it was tacky of her to make jokes about the word "Women" and menstruating.  Rude, really.  But I might sort of agree with the sentiment behind the joke.  I don't know.

I feel maybe we should be able to talk about things but understand that there are exceptions. I think maybe it's okay to talk about periods as being a girl thing but know that not all Cis-gender woman have periods and that some trans-gender men DO have periods.

I think we can talk about jock itch or whatever men else endure and understand that trans-women might have to deal with it as well.

I think we can talk about pregnancy as a woman's thing and understand that yes, there are some men who end up pregnant. 

And you know what, I'm okay with the idea that one day we don't refer to gender when talking about these things. Maybe one day pregnancy, erections, penises, vaginas, tampons, breast cancer, breastfeeding, etc. won't be gender specific. 

But I think we need time to grow into that mindset. I don't think it's something that we need to jump into. Or at least I think we don't need to hate every person who refuses to jump in or accidentally forgets to jump in. 

I think JK Rowling should have kept her mouth shut about the article title referring to "People who Menstruate".  At the same time, I also think people should not get too upset with a title that says "Girls, Let's Talk about Our periods!"

No. I take that back. It's okay to be upset. I can imagine a trans-girl feeling left out when seeing this title. And I can imagine a trans-boy feeling uncomfortable and excluded by the title.  But I wouldn't feel the author of the article would deserve rape-threats, death threats, hate male, cancelation, being fired, etc. 

Okay...this might get confusing and rambly. Sorry.

One way I see things it this.

I had this analogy kind of going with the thing people say of Stay in Your Lane.

Let's take black men and black women.  They are in the same lane of having to endure and fight anti-black racism.  I'd say they are 90% in the same lane.  But then there's a 10% where they are in different lanes.  Black women also have to deal with misogyny and sexism.  Black men don't have to deal with that in the same way (exception being if they are trans and dealt with sexism and misogyny before transitioning)  And I think black women probably deal with police violence a little less...I mean in terms of their OWN lives being at risk. They still have to deal with the pain of their sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, etc. being abused and/or murdered by the police. 

But there ARE some differences in the experiences of being a black man vs being a black women (whether trans or cis).

So...now let's take trans women and cis women.  I'd say they are 90% in the same lane. But cis-gender women have had to deal with sexism and misogyny from early childhood. Birth maybe. So thats a 10% of the lane that....

Uh.....

Okay. Shit. Here's me starting to argue with myself.

Because I'm thinking. No, Dina. You're wrong. trans women DO deal with misogyny when they are children, because young boys deal with misogyny as much as girls. Sometimes I think it's worse for young boys. 

There are so many "rules".  Don't wear pink. Boys don't play with dolls. Boys can't wear dresses. Boys can't wear make up. Boys don't get their nails painted.

So...I take it back regarding misogyny. 

Sexism, though. Discrimination.  I think, depending on when they transition, trans-women will have missed a lot of this.  I guess I'm talking more about the people who transition in adulthood. I'm guessing they would have a better chance at furthering their career and getting better pay.

So I think late-blooming trans-women might not be able to fully relate to career-harming sexism.

On the other hand, cis-women got to miss out on the agonizing torment of being in the wrong body, having to hide who they are, the prejudice, etc. And once they admit to the world who they are, I'm sure trans women will face enough prejudice and discrimination to make up for all that they missed in their pre-transition stage.

Back to JK Rowling.

I look at the situation through the lens of someone who has dealt with anti-semitism.

If I decided to hate and bully everyone who had a little anti-semitism, I would probably hate most every gentile in the world.

I think it's important to separate anti-semitic feelings into different groups.

There's those that hate us and want us dead. And they don't just want it. They'll actually work to kill us.

There's those that want us dead but will just wish. They won't take action.

There's those that hate us but don't want us dead.

There's those that are okay with us, but they think we made up the Holocaust to get sympathy from the world.

There are those who believe the Jews control the world.

There's those that like Jews, but they think Israel should be given back to the Palestinians. 

There's those that are okay with Jews but they think all girls are spoiled Jewish American Princesses.

There are those who are okay with Jews but they admire and support very anti-Semitic people like Farrakhan.

There are those who are okay with Jews and they are okay with Israel. But they think all the problems in Israel are 100% the fault of the Israeli's and that the Palestinians are completely innocent. 

There are those who are fine with Israel existing but want the Palestinians to have a right-to-return just as Jews do...seemingly not understanding that if this were to happen, Israel would stop being a Jewish state.

There are those who are okay with Jews but feel they don't need their own country.

There are those who "love" Jews but have this very strong need to convert them to Christianity. 

Some of the above stuff is really awful, and I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the people who feel that way. 

The other stuff hurts my feelings, but I wouldn't feel the person saying it deserves death threats. I wouldn't want them to be fired. I wouldn't want them to lose their career. I wouldn't want their friends to turn against them.  If they were my friends, I'd still probably want to be their friends. If they wrote one of my favorite books, I'd still hopefully love those books.

JK Rowling herself hurt my feelings back when she refused to join the boycott of Israel. Well, she made me happy by not supporting the boycott. Ands she angered a lot of Palestinians. But then she wrote this thing where Israel was pretty much presented as a complete tyrant. I'll have to read it again to make sure.  But I think it was less along the lines of, the situation is complicated; Israel and Palestine have both made mistakes. And more along the lines of Yeah, Israel is horrible. But I don't think a boycott is going to fix things.

Though she was really talking about the Israeli government, and I probably agree with her mostly there.   

Anyway....

There have been other celebrities who have been much more pro-Palestinian than pro-Israel. And when I hear that, I DO end up liking the celebrities a little less.  But I still read their books. I still see their movies. I still watch their TV shows.

I wouldn't want bad things to happen to them. I wouldn't feel they deserve hatred. I wouldn't want them to be canceled.

I think we have to separate those who want to kill us, those who despise us and those who want to take away our rights from those who have controversial, ignorant, or outdated opinions that hurt our feelings. 

What would our world be like if we

knew for sure there 

was life after death, and 

we could easily talk to our 

dearly-departed on the Internet?

The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts 

Instead of Saying it to You I'll Say it To My Blog

Edited to add 11/2022: This was written after a political debate with my right-wing, Trump-supporting parents after I said something along the lines of left people need to speak up against left-wing violence and right-wing people need to speak up against right-wing violence. My dad furiously criticized me for suggesting that the right has anything to do with white supremacists.  

I know they're asking white people like me to talk to our other white people—get them to understand racism and get them to be less racist and more anti-racist.

Sometimes I've not tried hard enough. And sometimes I've tried really hard.

Recently I tried hard.

And I'm realizing that sometimes you can talk and talk...and it's just not going to make a difference.

Some people will never change. They will always be more racist than anti-racist.

Some people will change but not at the speed we wish them too. They might change months later. Years later. Maybe decades later.  The words we spoke might finally sink in and make sense to them. Or not. Maybe they will need words different than ours to get them on the road to being anti-racist.  

But anyway....

Though I have ended the conversation (on my end) because it just felt hopeless, I still have words bubbling up inside me. So I'm going to let them out here.

1. We try to talk about racism. (Because of Amy Cooper. And George Floyd. And also your little joke about hoping a local murder is taken care of in the Chicago Police way)

You counter with black on black crime.  No. No. Of course. You think racism is a problem. But the real problem to you is black on black crime.

I do what I learned on Instagram. I counter with white on white crime.

Yeah. That doesn't seem to work.  

Oh and since black on black crime tactic isn't seeming to work in YOUR favor; it isn't changing the subject away from racism fast enough, you try pivoting further afield to the Democratic hypocrisy regarding the Me Too movement. 

2. A day later, you say the whole country was ready to listen and have a conversation about George Floyd, but the rioters are ruining all that.

But again, when we had tried to have a conversation with YOU about George Floyd, you changed the subject to black on black crime.

3. We're supposed to believe you support peaceful demonstrations. But then why did I never get the message that you supported the athletes kneeling during the national anthem?  You do love to share your political views. So why was there never an email applauding Colin Kaepernick and condemning Trump for his reaction to Kaepernick? 

I mean kneeling quietly during a patriotic song?  How can you get any more peaceful than that? There's no vulgar gestures. No loud voices. No violence. No damage to property. No blocking traffic. 

4. You say protest is okay but violence is not. Really?

Oh. You also say I shouldn't bring anti-semitism and the Holocaust into the conversation. But this is my blog, and I'll do what I want.

So...if violence is not the right way to respond to violence......Because I don't know. Kneeling on someone's neck is pretty fucking violent. Right?  But Black people are not supposed to respond to that violence with their own violence.

If we're going to stand by that philosophy; then how about this?

When the Palestinians throw rocks at the Israeli soldiers or dig tunnels in pursuit of hurting Israeli citizens, why do the Israeli soldiers fight back?  Why don't THEY turn the other cheek?

Is it okay for them to fight back, because they're Jewish?

Is that what it means for Jews to be the chosen people?  That they are allowed to fight back against harm, but others are not?

5. You say that you would support.  No wait. You would LEAD a revolution if it were Nazis that were governing us. A revolution that would involve destruction of Nazi property and the killing of Nazis. 

Okay.

And would you still lead that revolution if Jews aren't the main target? What if Muslims are the target? What if it's Hispanic people? Black people? Gay people? 

Would you still want to be the leader of the revolution?  

Would you at least join the revolution? 

Or would you be one of the people speaking out against the revolution?

Let's just be traditional and say the Nazis have once again chosen Jews as their main target.  When would you start your revolution?  

After a million Jews are murdered? A thousand? A hundred? A handful? 

When would it start to matter to you—matter enough that you'd be willing to start your violent and destructive revolution?

6. You blame the riots on Antifa. You ignore the fact that there's no proof it's Antifa or that there's also speculation of white-supremacist agitators.  

I see a video of a Black protester asking the violent and destructive people to stop.

I say that it's good when the left people in power speak out against violent people on the left. And the same for the right.

I expect you to agree with me.

We disagree on so much.

But with this, I imagine you will agree.

Instead you criticize me for implying that conservatives are connected to white supremacy and Neo Nazis.

It boggles my mind that you don't see any connection between conservatives and white supremacy and Neo Nazis.  

That while you felt moderate Muslims needed to speak out against Muslim terrorists, you don't feel that moderate conservatives need to speak out against conservative-extremists.

And where was your criticism of me connecting the left with violent people on the left?

If we're being logical and fair.....

If conservatives can't be connected to white supremacy and Neo-nazis, can't we also say that Muslims have absolutely no connection to Muslim terrorists and that those of us on the left have absolutely no connection to violent far-left anarchists?

7. You say I have insulted you by pointing out that you speak out more against Antifa than the KKK. 

But am I not supposed to be insulted by you inferring that the left is responsible for left violent extremism while the right is NOT responsible for right violent extremism?  Because you do know that I'm on the left, right?  

Why is there such a double standard in your head?

Where and when were you radicalized????????????????????

So.....

Anyway.....

I'm thinking about talking to people about racism.

And in order for people to be on the road to anti-racism, I think they need three things. A) empathy B) logic C) fairness D) openness towards analogies. 

Here's a pretend conversation.

ME: Black lives matter.

PRETEND PERSON: All lives matter.

ME: Yes, but that's not the point.

PRETEND PERSON: I think all lives matter. You don't?  Why do you think black people's lives matter and others don't.

ME: See...Well, pretend we're back in the late 1930's. The Nazis are killing Jews. Then some Jews start protesting with slogans and some gentiles join in. They say "Jewish Lives Matter."  Would you be offended by that?

PRETEND PERSON: Oh!!!!! Okay. Now I see where you're coming from.

Because though Mrs. Pretend Person is Jewish, she doesn't see Jews as being extraordinarily sacred or exceptional. So though she might not be fully sympathetic and understanding of what Black people endure, by using what she has learned from being Jewish and facing antisemitism, she can apply it to other abused and marginalized people.

These are the type of people that can be reached.  

I was one of those people.

I am STILL one of those people. Because if you're white, you never reach the end of the path when it comes to being anti-racist. You have to keep walking. Indefinitely.  

But for those who have a huge boulder blocking their path?

A friend told me that you just need to pray for understanding.

I don't believe in God, but I do think he's right.

Sometimes you just have to stop trying to have the conversations and just wish, pray, hope, etc....that the boulder slides away.  

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What would our world be like if we

knew for sure there 

was life after death, and 

we could easily talk to our 

dearly-departed on the Internet?

The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts