Pre-MeToo Dialogue on City Homicide

There is hope that the events of 2017 will change things for women...for the better.  I hope that's true, though, I'm not sure it is. And if it is true, I'm not sure how long the change will last.

One thing I feel that IS very likely to change is what will be allowed and tolerated in the fiction we consume. There might not be a large reduction in the amount of misogyny we see in real life people, but I think there will be a reduction in the amount we see coming from fictional people.

I just saw a scene in a 2010 episode of City Homicide that I don't think would make it to screen in 2018.   

Wilton Sparkes (Marshall Napier) has joined the homicide team in an investigation involving homicide.  He knows everyone in the group except for Allie Kingston (Nadia Townsend). When introduced to Kingston, Sparkes says, Nice to meet you, Love.

Kingston is not pleased with this, and her facial expression clearly communicates that.  

Later they are disagreeing about the case and Sparkes uses the term "love" again. 

This time Kingston is more vocal about her dislike of the term. Don't call me love.

Sparkes replies, You prefer Darling or Sweetheart?

Stanley Wolfe, the supervisor, (Shane Bourne) chides Sparkes gently. Yeah. That's enough.  I'll give him credit for that. But a few moments later, he assigns Kingston to partner with Sparkes in the investigation. She protests, and Wolfe refuses to give into her.

I can't say I'm fully against people calling each other things like love, sweetheart, darling, etc. in the workplace. I can picture situations where it's harmless and maybe even endearing. I think there would have to be a closeness between the speaker and recipient. Let's say I had an awesome boss for the past five years. He's been kind to me. He's been appreciative, fair, fun, helpful, etc.  I'm going to the local coffee shop to pick up a muffin and he says, Hey Love, do you mind picking up a blueberry scone for me? 

No, I don't think I'd be horribly offended.  

Sparkes, though, doesn't use the term in an endearing way. He uses it in a condescending way, and I think it's mostly about TRYING to get a rise out of Kingston.  I think it's something that many men tend to do. They say something for the sole purpose of getting under our skin.  Then when we act offended, it's our fault. We don't have a sense of humor. We're too sensitive. We force people to walk on eggshells around us.We need to lighten up.  Blah, blah, blah, blah.  

And as for my blueberry scone scene....

Though I imagine it wouldn't bother me, other people might be offended, and they have a right to speak out against the behavior.  Then, unless the behavior immediately stops, I'd label the workplace as a hostile environment.

I haven't finished watching the City Homicide episode.  I wonder what will happen. Wolfe is forcing Kingston to make allowances for Sparke. Will Wolfe pull Sparke aside and request that he behave appropriately with Kingston?  It seems he believes that Kingston needs to learn something by being forced to work with Sparkes. Does he also believe that Sparkes needs to learn something by working with Kingston?

I'm also wondering about all the powerful shitty, fucking, assholes we've heard about in 2017.  I imagine when there were complaints against them, not much was done to help these women and men. I imagine they received very little support from their workplace.  But you know, until watching this episode of City Homicide, I think I pictured things more along the lines of sweeping it under the rug.  

How many times was it even worse than that?  How many times were victims punished for their so-called sensitivity to harassment by actually having to spend more time with the perpetrators?  

Well....I'm going to go and finish watching the rest of the episode. Will Kingston become more tolerant of the harassment? Will Sparkes realize it's not okay to talk to people in ways that make them feel uncomfortable?  Will the two find peace by the end of the episode? Will they be besties?  Will they continue to hate each other?  AND...I wonder...how would the episode be different if written in 2018?  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Infini, Childhood's End, Sad Farscape Episode, and Don Hany

1. Started watching Infini.

2. Wondered if Infini is an American movie filmed in Australia.

3. Saw from IMDb that it's not an American movie.

It's Australian.

4. Heard American accents rather than Australian ones.

That's messed up.

It's strange enough when you get American productions filmed in Australia with all Australian actors speaking American.

But if the production is Australian? Why would they make the characters American?

5. Saw that Shane Abbess, the director of the film, also made the movie Gabriel.

As far as I can see, he's Australian. Or at least he spent some of his school years there.

6. Did not like the movie so far.

The acting seems very stilted to me.

And I don't find the story interesting.

7. Started to like the movie a little more.

There's time travel stuff.

And horror.

It's pretty cool.

These boring stilted military people are hanging around not doing anything very interesting.  Then suddenly they're sent on a mission. They do some kind of teleporting thing. Then moments later they return screaming, and weird stuff is on them.

8. Saw that one actor was allowed to keep his Australian accent.

9. Saw that Luke Hemsworth is in this movie, NOT Liam Hemsworth.

I tend to get those two guys confused.

10. Found the name of the character that's speaking non-American—maybe Australian.

The character is Harry Menzies, and he's played by an actor named Harry Pavlidis.

Pavlidis is a Greek-Australian athlete turned actor.

11. Saw from an IMDb advertisement that the sort-of Australian miniseries Childhood's End is going to be on the SyFy channel on Monday.

I want to see that.

Hopefully it will go on Hulu or Netflix eventually.

12. Started watching the trailer.

It looks like V, which is cool because I loved V. Well, I loved the original—not the new one.

13. Got excited when I saw Don Hany.

Though I had to look up his name, because I forgot it.

I did remember Chris Havel, however.

14. Tried to recognize the main star—the chosen guy.

I guess it's kind of weird to TRY to recognize someone.

15. Saw the actor from The Code.

I forgot his name.

Zuckerman, something?

It's like a female name. Or a name that's usually female.

Ashley?

16. Googled.

It IS Ashley Zuckerman.

17. Looked at the character profiles on the Childhood End's Website.

I think the character I struggled to recognize is Ricky.

Who plays Ricky?

18. Saw that Ricky is played by an American—Mike Vogel. No wonder I didn't recognize him.

19. Felt ashamed for not recognizing Mike Vogel. He was on Bates Motel—played the not-so-nice deputy.

20. Read the description of Amy, played by Hayley Magnus.  A normal girl who lives on a normal street in a normal town becomes, with the Overlords' arrival, a key player in the future of humanity.

That'll be different. In the two things I've seen Magnus in (Mental and Slide), she wasn't exactly normal.

The word normal is confusing, though. It might be more precise to say her characters were socially awkward and outcasts.

21. Looked at the actor descriptions on the website.

They're very mysterious about Osy Ikhile. IMDb is as well. Neither gives his nation. Is he Australian? British? American? Swedish?

They list him as being on Casualty. I think that's a British show, so I'll guess he's from the UK.

22. Went to his Twitter link.

There's no location provided there, either.

Why the mystery?

Is he not from Earth?

23. Found the answer; thanks to an article.

Osy Ikhile was born in London.

24. Wondered where Osy Ikhile lives now.

Is he London-based? Did he move to Australia? Well, I guess he moved there temporarily for the movie.  Was he there before he got the part? Or did he go to Australia specifically for the movie?

25. Saw from IMDb that Childhood's End was filmed in Melbourne.

26. Went back to watching Infini.

27. Hoped that Childhood's End is better than Infini.

So far, I'm not impressed with Infini.

28. Saw that Infini is a contagion movie—mixed with teleportation.

I'm not sure I've seen that before.

29. Felt the movie had some exciting moments. The problem is contagion stories are a dime a dozen these days, so you need something more as a backbone—such as good acting and writing.

30. Started to find myself interested in the film.

I like the medical stuff; though I have no idea if it's accurate.

Whit Carmichael (Daniel MacPherson) has been infected with the contagion. He has a small window of time before he becomes one of those monsters. He's using that time to try to cure himself.

Race for a cure. That's exciting to me.

31. Stopped watching the movie for today.

I plan to watch the rest of it tomorrow.

32. Saw that Daniel MacPherson was one of the stars of City Homicide.

He played Simon.

I don't really remember him.

33. Looked at Simon on Google Images.

Now he feels sort of familiar.

But I don't remember anything about his character's personality or storylines.

34. Started watching Farscape.

If I was going to have a crush on a character; it would probably be Scorpius.

Next in line would probably be Pilot.

35.Thought about how the opening credits for Farscape changed for season three. Crichton's voiceover has an echo.

I'm wondering if that's in reference to the clone.

36. Felt very sad about Crais (Lani Tupu).

37. Hoped for a miraculous plot twist.

38. Thought this was a very sad episode.

39. Finished watching the episode.

It was very powerful and a bit depressing.

I love the relationship between Crichton (Ben Browder) and Scorpius (Wayne Pygram).

40. Looked again at the cast of Childhood's End.

There's no Don Hany listed.

Why did I see him?

Am I having Don Hany hallucinations?

That's like a Nina Proudman kind of problem.

41. Watched the trailer again.

I'm VERY sure I'm seeing Don Hany.

42. Got a screenshot.

I assure you it looks much more like Don Hany when not paused like that.

I looked at the credits again, though.

I don't see him.

Am I hallucinating, or did IMDb miss something?

43. Found an article that confirms Don Hany is in Childhood's End.

THANK YOU.

Stradbroke Island, Kelly's Boyfriends, Art Funding Issues, and Aiming for a Fairer Distribution of Sympathy

1. Started to watch an episode of The Secret Life of Us.

2. Saw that Aaron Pedersen is in this episode.

I know him from City Homicide.

So far, I've seen three City Homicide actors on The Secret Life of Us—Pedersen, Damien Richardson, and Nadine Garner.

3. Started to watch an episode of Farscape.

4. Remembered that we saw Alan Dale last night on The Mindy Project.

I think, miraculously, his character isn't a wealthy, powerful, evil guy.

I could be wrong, though.

5. Went to palg1305's Flickr account.

Today I'm looking at his album of Stradbroke Island.

6. Saw from Google Maps that it takes about forty minutes to drive to the ferry from Brisbane. Then the Ferry ride takes about 55 minutes.

7. Went to the Stradbroke Ferries website.

8. Saw that the price is quite reasonable. It's $20 for a return ticket.

If you have a car, though, it's more expensive. Then it's $55-95 just for a one way ticket.  I guess it makes sense. More weight equals more fuel.

9. Started to look at palg1305's photos.

I like this one.  I think lately I have a thing for photos that have water, trees, and clouds.

10. Noticed that in the picture the water changes color. Near the beach, it's kind of amber; then it looks maroon; and then dark blue.

11. Liked this ocean picture; and this one too.  I love the blue green water in the latter.

12. Went to see which The Secret Life of Us actor am I going to look at on Twitter today.

The answer is Todd MacDonald.

He played Nathan, one of Kelly's (Deborah Mailman) annoying boyfriends.

By the way, Kelly got a new boyfriend in the episode I watched today—Corey. That's what Aaron Pedersen was doing in the episode. He's in and Frank (Rhys Muldoon) is out. I love Rhys Muldoon, but I don't think he was a good match for Kelly.

Although so far no guy has been a very good match for Kelly.

Will Corey be the one?

13. Thought about how Aaron Pedersen is Aboriginal. I think it's the first time the show has had an Aboriginal character besides Mailman's

Well, and I think they also showed Kelly's grandmother in one episode.

If Corey ends up being Kelly's happily-ever-after, is the show giving a subtle message that interracial relationships don't work out?  Is there an idea that it's best if we stick to our own kind?

14. Wondered if I'm reading too much into these things, and wondered if I'm being racist by thinking about it.

I think it would be different if Kelly dated a mix of guys—some Aboriginal and some not; then at the end, she ends up with a guy who's Aboriginal.

But if she goes through a bunch of failed relationships with white guys; then lands happily with an Aboriginal guy.  Well, I don't know then.

15. Wondered if one of Kelly's men wasn't white. The pyramid scheme guy?

16. Looked for the guy and instead saw that Ben Mendelsohn is going to be in five episodes this season.

Interesting!

Maybe someone will end up with him.

17. Found the actor who played the Amway-ish guy.  Steve Mouzakis. I think he's pretty white.

18. Wondered if Kelly will end up with Ben Mendelsohn. Then the message of the show might be that if you find the wrong Jew, try again and you might get a better one.

19. Remembered Todd MacDonald.

Sometimes I get very side-tracked.

20. Found a Todd MacDonald on Twitter. He's in Brisbane and looks sort of like the guy on The Secret Life of Us.

He's the artistic director and CEO of a theater.

21. Went to the theater website. It's called La Boite Theatre Company.

22. Tried to find staff biographies, but had no luck.

I think I'm just going to guess that this is the right Todd MacDonald.

Or, you know what, even if he's not The Secret Life of Us Todd MacDonald, he could still be the right Todd MacDonald.

23. Saw that on November 5, MacDonald had various posts about funding. Maybe regarding the theater?

24. Saw that it might have something to do with the government. Maybe the government's support of the arts.

Well, it seems he's not happy with cuts to art-funding.

25. Read an October article about art-funding issues.

This might be what Todd MacDonald is referring to.

If I understand it correctly, people were upset because a Minister in the government would be given control of funding decisions.  The money goes to a division called NPEA (National Program for Excellence in the Arts).

This whole idea came from George Brandis, but now a new guy has taken over—Mitch Fifield, and he offered to maybe make changes.

26. Wondered if artists had grievances about the government, being in control of art funding or just George Brandis specifically.

27. Read a little bit about NPEA.

The problem might be about what they are willing and not willing too fund.

This website says NPEA won't fund television or film production.

Would that mean there's no money going to Screen Australia. Or is that a different entity?

The article I read before, though, says money from the arts was cut to go into the NPEA thing. That might include Screen Australia art.

28. Saw photos of the French flag on the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

I think it's very nice.

Though I feel sad for Lebanese people, because there's no flag for them.

I feel bad that certain countries don't get a lot of attention when they have a tragedy.

I also feel mixed up and confused, because, in the past, I've been annoyed by people pointing out the discrepancies.

Then again, this is when I see them pointing out discrepancies that are proven wrong by what I'm seeing on Twitter.

One example is the numerous Twitterers complaining about people making jokes about Ebola on Twitter when no one makes jokes about people dying of cancer.

First of all, I didn't see jokes about people dying of Ebola. I saw jokes about the paranoia over contracting Ebola. Second, people do joke about cancer—though, usually not about dying, probably.

29. Felt with France and Lebanon, there truly is a difference between the world's reactions.

First of all, I looked at one of my Followers on Twitter. This person is very left-wing. She would never try to be racist or unfair. She had a lot of Tweets/Retweets about Paris. I looked back a few days and could not find anything about Beirut.

Then I looked at a certain left-wing celebrity who has a huge heart. She posted about Paris. I saw nothing about Beirut.

So...even people like that are treating the atrocities differently.

30. Wanted to say that I definitely, unfortunately, include myself in the problem.

I barely noticed Beirut. I probably didn't even really know it was Beirut until after the Paris attacks. Then I probably thought, wait wasn't there a bombing yesterday?

Killings in Africa, Lebanon, Turkey, Chad, Nigeria, Iraq, etc just kind of flow by my head. They just give generalized proof to my brain that the world is full of shitty people.

Then people are killed in France, and it's like, Holy shit! Oh my God!

The World stops and we start lighting up our buildings.

31. Felt we should continue loving on Paris. But it should be a wake-up call.

We need to start loving on the other victims as well.

I also think we should stop worrying so much about Muslims being hated by right-wing rednecks and instead worry more about Muslims being horribly slaughtered by Islamic terrorists.


EDITED TO ADD

32. Realized my last thing might have come out wrong.

I didn't mean to say that all right-wing people are rednecks. And besides that, I'm sure many redneck people are quite lovely.

What I mean is if there are people out there who are racist enough to believe ALL Muslims are terrorists; then shit on them.  But as annoying as they are, they're a small problem compared to mass murderers.

33. Concluded that it's cool to be right-wing, a redneck, or Muslim. It's not fine to be hatefully, horribly racist. And it's a million zillion times worse to be a mass-murderer.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Bad People, Love, Adultery, and Worrisome Hugs

1. Started watching an episode of Tangle.

2. Saw Ryan Corr.

His character seems nice.

I don't want him to be a bad person.

I don't like when I like an actor and then I see them playing a scummy person.

It's like Damien Richardson. I first saw him on Neighbours, where yeah...he was a bit scummy. But he was also sympathetic. Then I saw him on City Homicide where he played a very decent person.

I was kind of in the mode of adoring him. And then I saw him on The Secret Life of Us where he plays a scummy rapist...or almost rapist. So that kind of ruined things.

3. Figured I will go back to adoring Damien Richardson when I see him playing someone decent again.

4. Thought this all kind of contradicted with my feelings for Anthony Hopkins. Because with him, I like him best as a sociopathic cannibal.

5. Received an email from a company asking me to link to their jewelry website. Why? Because I once linked to another jewelry website.

In a way, it almost sounded like they were demanding I link to their website. Well, they weren't demanding. But there was this attitude of, we see you linked to this other jewelry website, so we want you to link to ours. I felt like they were saying they deserve fair treatment.

6. Considered emailing the company back and saying I will link to their company on the sidebar if they pay me $200. But the thing is, I don't know if I'd trust any company that sends out emails like that. They sound too desperate.

7. Liked the conversations about falling in love on this episode of Tangle.

Some of the scenes made me think that the sexiest trait in a man is when they're in love.  Real love—like Christine (Catherine McClements) says, the kind where you can't stop thinking about someone.

I like this versus the kind where someone is mildly interested in someone, and what they really want is sex. Or sometimes it's not sex. Sometimes it's just about the attraction not being strong enough.

8. Thought of my college relationship adventures. There were times that I was definitely attracted to someone and definitely hoped for a relationship. Then there were other times where I was attracted to someone but at the same time not attracted.

9. Thought that the sexiness of a man, in love, greatly loses its appeal for me when the person he's pursuing doesn't love him back.

Then it's either sweet and sad; or pathetic—depending on how persistent he is.

If he goes REALLY far in his pursuit, it becomes scary.

10. Thought of Peter and Tina on Coronation Street. Peter's maybe in love with Tina, but I don't find him at all sexy. I could say it's because he's married to another woman. But I do sometimes find extramarital relationships sexy. Or maybe I usually don't. I'm not sure.

On Tangle, I liked Ally (Justine Clarke) with Gabriel (Matt Day) even though she was married to his best friend. But that's probably because Ally's husband Vince (Ben Mendelsohn) was such an ass. He didn't seem to love her, so it seemed so wonderful that another man did. That's different than Peter and Tina, because Carla, Peter's wife, does seem to love him a lot.

11. Decided that with extramarital affairs, if the cheated on spouse doesn't seem to really be in love; then the cheating doesn't feel so bad to me. It's romantic and sexy. If the cheated on spouse is obviously in love; then it's sad.

Another example of this on Coronation Street is with Nick and Leanne.  Leanne has fallen out of love with Nick and loves someone else now. Nick still loves her, so I don't want Leanne with someone else. I want her to fall back in love with Nick.

12. Loved what Christine (Catherine McClements) says about her husband having an affair.

She tells Ally that no, it wasn't a fling. It was real love. And it was the worst thing that ever happened to her. But then the affair resulted in a pregnancy, and that child came to live with them. Christine became the mother, and she says this is the best thing that's happened to her.

It's amazing how bad things sometimes result in very good things.

13. Liked a scene with Ally feeding the hungry.

An old man named Stan (Don Bridges) tells Ally she's pretty and asks for a hug.  She's kind-hearted and open-hearted enough to say yes. It's kind of a tense scene, because you don't know if he's going to try to grab her ass or something.  He doesn't, but he wouldn't let go. He kept hugging. Then someone working with Ally (Todd MacDonald) requests that the man stop hugging Ally.  The man stops, and Ally's co-helper asks if she's okay. She says, Yes! It's the best hug I've had all year.

I wish I could be like that. I'd likely be very hesitant, and then during the hug, I'd be frantically wondering when was the last time the hugger took a shower.  I'm not even sure it would have to be a homeless person to make me uptight like that. I think a hug from any stranger would have me feeling germaphobic.

Although it's not really germaphobic. It's really more like cootie-phobic.

14.  Saw that Don Bridges was recently in an Australian Zombie movie called Plague.

15. Saw the Stan storyline get a little less sweet. Uh...speaking of zombies.....

16. Finished watching the episode.

I liked it. It was less depressing than the previous ones; and also less slow.

17. Saw that Netflix has The Plague.

I'm going to add it to my to- watch list.

18. Decided to look for 2015 movies on Hulu and Netflix.

I didn't look much before, because I didn't expect them to be released yet. But The Plague is from 2015, and that's already on Netflix.

19. Decided I'm just going to look on Netflix now, and later I'll check Hulu.

20. Added Strangerland and Infini to my to-watch list.

21. Started watching Not Suitable for Children.

I'm already unnerved by Ryan Kwanten speaking in an Australian accent.

I don't know what's weirder—hearing Jason Stackhouse being Australian or Rick Grimes being British.

22. Wondered if there's truth to the premise in the movie.

Jonah (Kwanten) ends up with testicular cancer.  Treatment will leave him infertile. He gives a sperm sample that will be frozen for future use; then learns his sperm is unfreezable.

23. Found a website about sperm cryopreservation.

They say that 50% of sperm motility keep that motility after being thawed. If sperm is of poor quality, the motility level will be less than that.

24. Glad to have learned something new today.

25. Wondered how old Ryan Kwanten is.

26. Saw that Kwanten was born in 1976. He's only four years younger than me.

I like when people are close to my age...or older.

Very young people make me feel old.

27. Saw that Ryan Kwanten's birthday is close to mine.

28. Remembered that Toni Collette's birthday is today.

29. Saw that Ryan Corr is not at all close to my age.

I'm seventeen years older than him.

He makes me feel old.

30. Wondered if what Jonah says in the movie is true.

If you don't have a clean medical history, you can't adopt. He says that includes cancer.

That's sad.

It seems unfair.

What if your cancer was mild, and easily treated? You still can't adopt. I understand that cancer has a chance of recurring, but no one is guaranteed to live a long and full life for their children.

31. Tried to find information about adopting in Australia, if you've had cancer.

I can't find anything but did find an article about the issue in the UK.

32. Recognized the actress who plays Marcie in the movie.

I looked her up. It's Susan Prior, and I've seen her on Puberty Blues. But I can't remember who she played.

33. Remembered!

I'm glad, because it would have probably bothered me for most of the night if I hadn't.

She plays the wife of Rodger Corser.  He's cheating on her, and she's kind of naive about the whole thing.

I actually could have figured it out if I looked at the IMDb cast for Puberty Blues.  I could have just matched the last names of the characters.

BUT I'm happy with myself for remembering on my own.

34. Decided that one of the reasons I was able to remember is Prior's character on Not Suitable for Children is similar to the one she played on Puberty Blues.

35. Struggled to think of words to describe the characters.  It's kind of like someone who's a doormat—overly nice and giving.

Is there a word for that?

36. Stopped watching the movie for tonight.

I'm going to watch the rest tomorrow.


Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Misplaced Advice, TV Show Nostalgia, Bad Health, and Fruit-Picking

1. Saw, from Statcounter, that my blog is busier than usual today—mostly because of Shane Bourne.

Is he the one from City Homicide?

2. Googled.

Yes, Shane Bourne is from City Homicide.

I liked him on that show.

3. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.

4. Glad to see Susan (Jackie Woodburne) learn that she's wrong about Brad (Kip Gamblin) and admit that she may have given Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou) the wrong advice.

On a previous episode, Terese tried to talk to Susan about her marriage worries. Susan told Terese she has a wonderful husband and should have faith in him and her marriage. She actually called her friend paranoid. But it turns out, that Brad DOES have feelings for another woman.

Really. Don't tell someone not to worry and don't tell them they're paranoid, unless you have facts to support your beliefs.

5. Saw that now Susan is the one having doubts about her marriage.

Karma!

I can't deny a part of me feels some sort of satisfaction seeing that.

I'm wondering, though, if the advice she gave to Terese was really about Susan talking to herself—giving her own self the advice.

I've seen this happen in my own life. Someone is dismissive and makes me feel ridiculous for having a problem or wanting something. Then I later learn they have the same issues.

Another thing I've encountered is where someone tells me about something bothering them. I give them sympathy. Then I talk about a similar thing happening in my life, and they're very dismissive.

Fictional example:  A person complains in an email that they were stood up by a friend. I write some supportive stuff to show I've read and listened. Then I say that this once happened to me and talk about how it was upsetting. The email-pal writes back, Oh, she probably just had something important come up and forgot to call. I'd cut her some slack.  

So basically, it's not okay for it to happen to my email-pal, but it's okay if it happens to me.

6. Started watching an episode of Water Rats.

7. Thought I might have seen a Farscape actor in the credits for this episode. It's something like Lani Tupu.  Is he from Farscape?

8. Saw that Lani Tupu is NOT from Farscape.

Why does his name sound familar to me?

9. Saw that I'm not insane.

The actor on Farscape is named Lani John Tupu. He played Pilot and Captain Crais.

10. Wished that Lani John Tupu would be on this episode of Water Rats, instead of Lani unJohn Tupu. Now I'm feeling homesick for Farscape.

11. Saw that one of the actresses on Water Rats had a very untimely death.

Sophie Heathcote died when she was only thirty-three. She had skin cancer, pancreatic cancer, and died of an aneurysm .

I wonder if the aneurysm was caused by the cancer.

Was it a coincidence?

Bad health luck?

12. Wondered if the cancer could have spread to her brain, and maybe that caused an aneurysm.

This study says that pancreatic cancer doesn't often go to the brain, but I know skin cancer does.

12. Saw that skin cancer sometimes spreads to the pancreas.

I'm just trying to understand if Heathcote had three random things that went horribly wrong. Or were they all connected?

13. Saw on this website that tumors can increase the chance of aneurysms. Does metastatic brain cancer cause tumors?

14. Saw that metastatic brain cancer does cause tumors.

15. Hoped that, although Heathcote's life was short, that it was a mostly-happy and fulfilling one.  I hope she didn't have too much pain and sadness.

16. Tried to tell Tim about the kidney transplant story on Packed to the Rafters, but I started getting all emotional about it.

Do you ever have it where you can't tell a story properly, because it puts you on the verge of crying?

And then I had some more strong emotions, because I started missing the Rafters. I miss that show.

I think I'm having TV show homesickness today—first Farscape, and now Packed to the Rafters.

And the other day I started singing some song. I didn't know what it was and then I realized it was the Wonderland theme song.

Well, I didn't actually sing it, because I don't remember any of the words. I didn't hum or whistle, though. I guess I'd say I mumbled the song?

17. Started to listen to the Wonderland theme song.

I think it might be my favorite Australian TV show theme song.

18. Saw the Wonderland characters in the video and wanted to hug them.

19. Watched the Wonderland men sing the theme song.

I love it.

20. Started to watch another episode of Water Rats.

I don't love it yet.

But maybe someday I will.

21. Enjoyed reading about A Welsh's Girl in Australia's olive-picking adventure.

I don't think I've ever gone on a fruit picking excursion of any kind.

I'd like to one day.

I think there's something magical about taking fruit off of a vine, bush, tree, etc. I've done it a few times.  I think once or twice we picked grapes. Maybe when I was young?  The lake house has figs. I sometimes pick those.  Although this year, I didn't see any ripe ones. I don't know what's up with that.

22. Remembered finding grapes at the lake house, but I'm not sure if we determined if they were really grapes, and if we had enough faith to eat them.  And now I'm not sure where they were or if they're still there.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

  

Confrontation, Off-Limit Topics, Taking Sides, and Vague Memories of TV Show Episodes

1. Had a dream inspired by Packed to the Rafters.

I've recently donated one of my kidneys. I'm not in pain. There's a woman at the place I'm staying. She tells me she's lost a kidney, and she has experienced all sorts of life difficulties. I think of the passage from the novel that talks about Aunt June having more than her share of problems.

2. Dreamed about bilbies, though I don't remember much—just something with me looking them up on the Internet.

3.  Knew that the novel I thought about, in the kidney dream, is by Jaclyn Moriarty; though I can't remember if the Aunt June passage is in the Ashbury High series or The Spell Book of Listen Taylor.

I quoted the passage in my blog once, though. I'm going to try to find it.

4. Found that, back in October 2010, I wrote a whole blog post about Aunt June's bad luck.

The book was The Ghosts of Ashbury High.

5. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.

6. Saw that the Australian Celebrity category of QuizUp has been updated.

I played a round, but didn't finish because I got disconnected from my opponent (Richard from Melbourne).

A lot of the questions were about reality TV stars. I don't know much about that.

7. Wondered if Paige (Olympia Valance) is finally going to tell her mother (Kate Kendall) about doing illegal work for Dimato (David Serafin).

I imagine Lauren won't be too happy with Dimato. It was bad enough for her to learn her husband (Josef Brown) was involved with Dimato.  I'm sure she'll be devastated to learn that Paige got tangled up in the mess as well.

Oh, and also her son Bailey (Calen MacKenzie) got himself into the mess!

8. Thought about how Amber (Jenna Rosenow) is the only member of the Turner family not touched by Dimato. But then I remembered she was harassed by some of Dimato's gang for taking photographs.

9. Started to watch an episode of Packed to the Rafters.  

10. Disagreed with Jake (James Stewart). Rachel (Jessica Marais) tells him about how she believes her new coworker Liam (Kain O'Keeffe) is trying to sabotage her.

Jake seems bemused about the whole situation and skeptical about Rachel's side of the story.  When Rachel tells Jake about how she's trying to fight back, he says she should just be direct and tell Liam he's being a tool.

No, I don't think that works. If someone is nice to your face and stabbing you in the back, calling them out on it is rarely going to work.

First of all, there's the chance that you're wrong.  Then you'll end up looking paranoid. Or you could be right, but the perpetrator denies it. And you have no tangible proof.  You'll still end up looking paranoid.

11. Thought that Jake's advice is similar to Susan's (Jackie Woodburne) advice to Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou) on Neighbours.  When Terese learned that Paige is trying to sabotage her marriage, Susan advices Terese to be direct and talk to Paige about it.

12. Wished I could agree with Susan and Jake. It would be nice if confrontation worked. But in my experience, it usually doesn't.

What's the alternative? Fight back.  Now that could be about going on the defensive or offensive. The former is probably more preferable.

It's probably enough for Rachel to work against Liam and make sure her career stays intact. If she wanted to be a baddie, she could also work to destroy his career.

It's probably enough for Terese to work to protect her marriage. She doesn't need to go as far as trying to destroy Paige.

13. Thought that the only time being confrontational might work is if someone's acting angry or acting like they don't like us. I think SOMETIMES it might help to ask them what's wrong or ask, Do you not like me?  Are you angry about something?

I think sometimes they might tell the truth, or explain that they're not mad. They might explain that they're in a bad mood, because stuff is going on in their life.

14. Thought about how sometimes I wonder if someone is mad, but I don't ask.

I guess I'm afraid, if they're not mad, I'll seem hypersensitive.

Or worse, they'll tell me they are mad, and it will turn into a fight.

15. Can't remember a time in recent history where I've asked somebody if they were mad at me.

16. Thought Jake was wrong in requesting that Rachel not talk about work on the weekends.

I think it's rarely a good idea to tell people that you don't want them to talk about certain things.

If someone talks too much about work and hogs the conversation; it might not be horrible to ask them to tone it down a bit. It might not be horrible to try to change the subject.

17. Felt it was one thing asking someone not to work on the weekend. It's another thing to ask them not to talk to you about work.

As for asking someone not to work, that's sometimes unfair too.  Some people have intense jobs and work needs to be done. It's preferable if it's not done when they're supposed to be spending time with you.  There's a difference between someone carving out some time in the weekend to work on something quietly in their office and someone who often checks their texts when they're at a restaurant with you.

18. Worried that I've told Tim not to talk about work.

Have I?

I'm not sure.

Maybe I did.

Or maybe he accused me of not being a good listener when he talks about work. I can't remember, exactly.

Maybe I don't act or sound supportive enough?

19. Tried harder to remember.

I think it happened, at a time that I told him I don't tell him that much stuff anymore. I was mad at him for not seeming to notice or care. Then I think he said it went both ways—that he had stopped talking to me about work stuff.  I don't think I had noticed that until he mentioned it.

I probably am a bad listener, sometimes. Well, I know I am, actually.

Sometimes I'm very good at it, and sometimes I'm awful.

19. Felt that sometimes I'm like Jake, and I  sort of defend the other person.

I mean if someone complains about someone; I don't immediately take that someone's side. I sometimes feel sympathy for the person they're mad at.

Is that fair? Sometimes. But when I'm the one bitching and someone does that to me; I usually get annoyed.

It all depends on the situation, and how it's handled.

We can't expect everyone to completely take our side during our conflict. On the other hand, we deserve to at least be heard and have the other person TRY to understand our side of things.

20. Concluded that if someone is bitching about someone, it's not healthy or fair to completely and easily agree that the subject of the complaining is a worthless, evil pariah.

It's equally wrong, if someone is complaining about someone; to assume  that all the blame lies on the complainers lap— that they're just too sensitive or overdramatic.

21. Wondered what the hell Jake was thinking.

He doesn't listen well when Rachel complains about work. Then he turns around and threatens Rachel's coworker.

I have to admit it, though. In a way, I think it's kind of nice that he was protective.

I'm imagining myself complaining about someone and my listener acting totally unsympathetic. If they went ahead and tried to fight my battles for me, it would at least show they're on my side. It just seems that being there to listen to me and say supportive things would be a better way of handling things.

22. Thought the main problem with Jake's behavior is that the reason he tried to handle things is because he felt Rachel was incapable of doing it herself. He accused her of acting like she was in high school. Yeah, because threatening to kick someone's ass is much more mature.

23. Decided Jake is being disrespectful.

24. Had a feeling that Jake and Rachel are going to break up.

25. Glad to see that Jake and Rachel did not break up.

Well, they sort of broke up.  I was kind of sad about that.

Then Rachel apologized, and Jake was decent enough to say that he was just as much to blame.

I think Jake was more to blame, personally. But it was nice and brave of Rachel to take the initiative.

26. Started to watch another episode of Packed to the Rafters.

27. Remembered that when we were in Halls Gap, I caught a few glimpses of Packed to the Rafters.

I guess someone had left the television on?  I don't think anyone was actually watching it.

I had already seen season one, and what I saw on the screen looked so different from what I was used to.  I remember my friend Tracey making a comment about how so much had changed.

I'm wondering what season and episode I got a glimpse of.

28. Thought that the episode was probably "Free to Choose" from season five. I'm trying not to read anything in the description. I don't want spoilers.

The episode aired on April 9, 2013. I think that was around the time we were in Halls Gap.

29. Looked at my Australia 2013 album, and clicked on a photo from Halls Gap. It says it was taken on April 9.  So I think I have the right episode!

30. Remembered watching a little bit of Neighbours with Tracey. I think this was when I first met her and her family. We stayed at their house in Tasmania.  She's a fan of the show, and I think she tried to watch an episode while we were there. I'm not sure she gave it all her attention. We probably chatted while it was on.

I have vague memories of there being a classroom, and maybe there had been a recent horrible tragedy?

It would have been February 2009.

31. Decided to get dates from Flickr again.

Found a picture from February 6, 2009.

I'm going to see if I can find a Neighbours episode from around that date.

I'm curious to know what actors were on the show back then.

32. Waiting for IMDb to give me the list of episode years.

It's taking a long time.

33. Saw that The Perfect Blend has episode summaries.

I'm going to look at the summary for the February 6, 2009 episode.

34. Saw that I'm right!

I'm so impressed with my memory.

It says here: The students sit down at their desks and Mr. Simpson explains to them that the school still has counselors in place and that they’ll be holding their own memorial for Zeke. Kyle then arrives and Declan can’t believe it. Mr. Simpson however invites Kyle in to take his seat.

The tragedy was the death of Zeke.

Though I don't think he really died.

Didn't I see Zeke in a recent behind-the-scenes video? He had a wedding?  He's related to Nate (Meyne Wyatt). Or am I thinking of someone else?

35. Consulted Lord Wiki.

Zeke is the right person.

He was believed to be dead, because of a school rafting trip accident. The boat capsized, and the only thing found was Zeke's lifejacket and helmet.

36. Learned that Zeke had amnesia.

37. Thought more about Mel dying on Packed to the Rafters.

Mel doesn't know she's going to die soon, but the actress who plays her (Zoe Ventoura) does know. In fact, it was probably Ventoura who decided to take Mel out of the show.

I was thinking that if there is a such thing as spiritual stuff, afterlives, and reincarnation; maybe it works like that.

Maybe the people that we are in this life are the characters. Our souls are the actors.

Our characters don't know when we're going to die. The actors (souls) do know, and they might have even picked the how and when of the whole thing.

38. Wondered if the soul can change its mind.

Let's say Jenny's soul has it planned that she's going to drown next Wednesday. Could Jenny's soul change those plans without Jenny knowing about it?  Maybe she'd know on an unconscious level.

Maybe she'd have a nightmare about drowning.

39. Thought that the biggest problem with this theory is the whole Jesus-Judas type scenario.  It would mean there are no villains but instead just instruments of fate.

If Jenny drowns because a serial killer strangles her, is the soul of the serial killer evil? Or is he just helping to fulfill what Jenny's soul has chosen to happen to herself?

40. Realized ,while thinking about murder and Australian TV characters, that I've not seen many Australian characters killed by the hands of another.

Well, they have, actually; but accidentally. The only character I can think of, offhand, that was purposely killed is Kate (Ashleigh Brewer) on Neighbours. She was shot.

I've seen at least five Australian TV characters get hit by a car. None of them were hit on purpose.

41. Remembered that I watched City Homicide. Obviously, there were murders on that.  But I don't think any main characters ended up murdered.

42. Remembered that Rory on Home and Away got eaten by a shark.

Was the shark hungry? Or was he simply an instrument of fate?

43. Looked up the actor who played Rory on Home and Away.

Gregor Jordan...

He''s a director now.  He's the one who directed Ned Kelly, the one starring Heath Ledger.

I'm shocked by this, but feel I should have already learned it.

How would I have missed that piece of information?

44. Searched through my blog for Gregor Jordan.

I didn't find anything.

Well, that's good.

I'd hate knowing I've learned something so exciting and then had forgotten about it.

44. Felt sad and stressed about the Rafter family and their troubles.

This episode is depressing.

And it's not even the one where Mel dies.

She's still alive.

45. Thought that if there's going to be a tragedy, it's going to happen when either A) the people involved are super happy about their lives B) the people are already stressed out and overwhelmed by their problems.

46. Learned that Dave's Dad Tom (John Howard) is a horrible man.

I thought his only crime was not being able to remember a woman he had sex with over forty years ago. But it turns out he wants Cody (Ryan Corr) to steal from Dave...his own son!

A few episodes back, Tom ask Cody to keep his eyes and ears open... or something like that. I guess I should have known something bad was stewing. I guess I hoped he just wanted Cody to spy a bit to make sure the Rafters were decent people.

Anyway, Cody is starting to like the Rafters and feels bad about stealing from them. He tells Tom he wants to stop all of it, and Tom tries to manipulate him into continuing.

47. Decided to watch another episode of Packed to the Rafters.

48. Could relate to Mel when she heard Ben (Hugh McLaren) saying bad things about marriage to Cabo (George Houvardas).

Ben is trying to convince Cabo not to propose to his girlfriend.  In doing so, he makes marriage sound awful. How is Mel supposed to feel about that?

I never had that happen, exactly.

But it reminds me of a time that Tim said something insulting about someone else, but the insult also totally applied to me. He seemed to forget I was there or that what  he said could also apply to me.

49. Decided to give a hypothetical example to illustrate my point. Let's say there's someone who has never said anything negative about me having a blog. But then when I'm in the room, I hear them talking to a friend. They say, She wastes so much time writing her blog. What a loser. She could be using that time for something much more worthwhile.

Of course then I'd confront the person and they make some lame excuse. No, your blog is fine. It's not like her blog at all. If you read her blog, you'd totally agree with me.

50. Saw that Jake and Rachel are probably going to break up again.  I think this time it might be permanent.

51. Had a feeling that Packed to the Rafters teased the viewers with an upcoming death.

In a few episodes, Mel is going to die in a car accident.

In the last episode I watched, Dave fell asleep at the wheel and got into a minor wreck.

In this episode, Jake gets behind the wheel when he's not supposed to because of his epilepsy.

I'm guessing fans of the show were told someone was going to die by the end of the season, and viewers were kept on edge.

52. Found a promo promising the death of a Rafter.

However, it says it's going to happen next Tuesday. So the Jake and Dave near miss would have already been seen. Plus, Jake is not a Rafter.

53. Felt bad for Cabo's girlfriend Loretta (Hannah Marshall). She's not really welcomed with open arms by Cabo's roommates. Then they make fun of her for being loud during sex.  They're kind of mean about it—laughing at her; not laughing with her.  Even when she shows proper embarrassment, they don't ease up.


Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Bribery, Positive Cancer Patients, Neighbours Villains, and Wentworth

1. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

2. Felt bad for Clem (Max Whitelaw). His dad (Steve Nation) is bribing him with expensive sports trading cards. 

I had thought maybe Clem might be the kind of person who likes bribes, but it seems to be not the case. Clem ripped up some of the cards and then threw all of them into the trash.

Gifts are nice, but not when they're used as leverage. 

3. Bothered by Georgia's (Saskia Hampele) attitude.  

Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly) asks Georgia how her mother's doing—the whole cancer thing.

Georgia says her mother's being very positive which is half the battle.  She then says she's proud of her mother.

It makes me think about a book I read this year, which pokes holes in the whole positive thinking philosophy. One of the chapters was about breast cancer; and how women with the disease are pushed so hard to be upbeat.  

4. Found the book. It 's called Bright-sided: How Positive Thinking is Undermining America. 

America...yeah. But I'm sure it causes problems in other countries as well. 

Back to Georgia's mother's cancer. If Georgia says being positive is half the battle, what does that say for women who died of breast cancer?  Were they not positive enough? Did they frown too much? Did they express too much fear? Did they FEEL too much fear?  Did they have the nerve to complain about not feeling well?

5. Felt bad for Clem again. He's starting to believe Terese's (Rebekah Elmaloglou) side of the story—that his dad attacked her. Not only that, but he also suspects his father assaulted Chloe, Clem's girlfriend.  

6. Thought Terese was a bit cursed. Two of the show's nastiest villains lately have been strongly connected to her. Nick (Damien Fotiou), the evil cancer doctor, is her brother. Clem was her former colleague.

7. Realized both people are also strongly connected to Paul Robinson (Stefan Dennis)

Well, Paul Robinson became Nick's chemotherapy victim. He also played a part in the nasty bet involving Georgia and Nick. And he's the one who originally brought Ezra, Clem's father, to Erinsborough. 

8. Heard a song in the car; and thought the singer sounded like Kasey Chambers. I looked up the song and saw that it was sung by a Kasey, but not Kasey Chambers. It was Kasey Musgraves. 

9. Started watching another episode of Neighbours. 

10. Glad to see that Paul seems to be changing his mind about giving up Naomi.  

I understand that he has a rocky past when it comes to women, but maybe things would be different with Naomi. 

It bothers me that Sheila (Collette Mann) is so pushy about Naomi getting together with Brennan (Scott McGregor). Yes, Brennan ticks the boxes on SHEILA'S list, but I think he does less so on Naomi's list. Plus sometimes lists don't matter. Someone can tick all the boxes, and still things don't click.  

11. Started to watch another episode of Neighbours.

I'm getting close to Saskia Hampele's departure day. I think it's going to have something to do with Georgia's mother's cancer. But what?  Is she going to leave Kyle (Chris Milligan) for that?  And never come back?  

12. Felt Naomi and I were on the same page about relationships.

Brennan talks about working hard to make her happy. Naomi says it shouldn't have to be so hard. Things like that should come naturally.  

Well...maybe that's not exactly what I think.

Or do I?

I'm confused.

I do imagine that in the beginning of the relationship, there are going to be some missteps. Even if we're soulmates with someone, it doesn't mean we're going to automatically know what they like and dislike.

After awhile though, I imagine it should be easy for soulmates to make each other happy.  Two reasons: A) They know each other very well B) They have a lot in common.  

13. Thought of something else.  If someone loves you, it shouldn't take a huge amount of work to make them happy. Just being with you, in itself, should be a huge pleasure.  Within limits.  They might not be happy watching you watch golf all afternoon.  But then again. If you're a good match, maybe they'll love watching golf as well.   

13. Thought about how you can have a lot in common with a person but still not be attracted to them. 

There's that whole thing of opposites attracting.

Can opposites be soulmates...meant to be together?  Or is it just a mistake brought on my faulty chemical attraction?

14. Figured some opposite traits compliment each other, while others cause conflict.

15. Convinced my family to watch Wentworth. I think they liked it!  

Actually, I just wanted them to watch the trailer, but it seems Netflix doesn't have trailers. So they decided to try out the first episode.   

16. Realized something.

I think Hulu has the fun, happy, light-hearted shows about Australia. Netflix has only dark ones—as far as I know. There might be shows on there that I don't know about yet.  But the ones I do know—The Code, Wentworth, Rake, Underbelly.  They're all quite dark, and they don't give a very warm cozy image of Australia.

Hulu has some serious shows as well—such as City Homicide.  But it also has shows like Offspring, Wonderland, Neighbours, and Packed to the Rafters.

17. Remembered that Hulu also has Tangle. That's a pretty dark show. 

18. Decided the thing about Hulu vs. Netflix is that, in terms of Australian shows, Hulu has more balance and variety.

AC/DC, Lawyers, Skeletons, and Doctors

1. Dreamed about visiting Australia.

I don't remember what the first dream was about, but I woke up disoriented. I didn't know whether or not we had an upcoming trip to Australia planned.  

After a few moments, I figured out we don't. We have a wish and hope for a future Australia trip, but nothing concrete yet.

The second dream was about books. I try to decide if I want to borrow one of the nonfiction books available on the airplane. I fret about not being able to finish it, but then I decide I can take the book with us to Australia and read it during the trip. But then I realize our accommodations will probably have books available. And unlike the books on the plane, the accommodation books will likely be about Australia. I decide I prefer to read those. 

2. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

3. Heard Spotify commercial announcing that they now have AC/DC music. I'm glad to hear that. I added some songs to my playlists.

I'd like to become more familar with AC/DC, since they're Australian and I have an AC/DC t-shirt. 

I bought the shirt because of the Australia connection.

4. Added more AC/DC songs to my playlist.

5. Felt great adoration for Imogen (Ariel Kaplan). She's probably one of my favorite fictional Australian characters. 

Imogen is so smart and passionate—driven. But she's also vulnerable and very imperfect.

I loved the scene with her going to a lawyer networking party. She's looking to meet fellow law-lovers and instead meets a flaky superficial snob who is more interested in discussing ski resorts than law.

6.  Saw Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly) kiss Paul (Stefan Dennis). I knew they were supposed to be getting together, but I didn't expect it to start this early.  

7. Started watching Rake on Netflix. 

I hope I like it.

8. Wondered if I've ever watched anything with Richard Roxburgh. I feel I have, but I don't know what it was.

I pretty much know him as being the star of Rake. But I'm just starting to watch that now. 

9. Went to IMDb filmography of Richard Roxburgh. 

I don't think there's anything I've really seen.

I saw parts of Australia and Moulin Rouge, a long time ago.

10. Saw that Roxburgh is the narrator for a documentary about Australia. Australia: The Story of Us. It looks pretty good.  Maybe Hulu or Netflix will have it one day.

11. Looked at IMDb cast for the first episode of Rake. There are some actors I'm excited to see.

Adrienne Pickering is on the show. I know her as Erin from Neighbours.

There's also Danielle Cormack (from Wentworth), Hugo Weaving, and Matt Day.

I have no idea who Matt Day is, but his name sounds familar to me. 

12. Saw that Matt Day is from Reef Doctors. Yeah. Now I remember. He played the ex-husband. And I didn't realize this when watching Reef Doctors, but he was also Gabriel on Tangle.  

I think Gabriel is the guy in love with Justine Clarke. Well, the character played by Clarke, really. 

13. Wondered where Rake is filmed.

14. Saw from IMDb that it's filmed in Sydney.  

15. Saw that Hugo Weaving plays a cannibalistic prisoner.

16.  Found plot of Rake episode to be interesting.

Professor Murray (Weaving) put a post online asking if there was anyone who wanted to be eaten.

A suicidal guy took him up on the offer.

Before committing suicide, the future meal made a video explaining his intention.

Now there's a question of whether Professor Murray committed a crime. Well, because they're saying cannibalism isn't a crime in New South Wales.

Is not stopping a suicide a crime?  Is Euthanasia legal as long as no one assists the person wanting to die?

The professor didn't really assist with the suicide, but he supported it and didn't do anything to stop it.

17. Wondered if cannibalism is an ecologically friendly way to dispose of a body. 

I suppose it would be, although the skeleton would be left. 

Maybe the skeleton could be donated to science?

Is there a need for skeletons out there?

18. Found a website that sells human skeletons. They say it's difficult for them to obtain skeletons, and the skulls they're selling are quite expensive. The prices range from $700-$2000. So it seems skeletons are in high demand!

Hopefully the souls who used to wear these skulls donated them.  

I hope it's not like American Horror Story: Freak Show, where people are murdered so their body parts can bring in a profit.

19. Thought about what my cousin-in-law said this week about cannibalism. He says it increases the risk of prion disorders. Is that true?  Wouldn't you need to eat someone with a prion disorder?  

20. Read article about cannibalism and the prion disease Kuru. I don't know if I fully understand it, but I feel it's saying that eating brains puts you at risk of contracting a prion disease. If you stayed away from the brains, you might be okay.  

Or maybe not. Because I think people have gotten sick from cows without eating the brain.

I think, though, if you eat a healthy cow or human you should be okay. 

21. Thought of another idea. Instead of using cannibals to dispose of a body, why not have animals do it? Like a crocodile? Piranhas. I know some people use vultures.  

22. Recognized actress on Rake—Sacha Horter.  She plays the wife of a cannibal. 

I looked her up and saw she was on Dance Academy. She played Abigail's (Dena Kaplan) mother. 

23. Recognized another actress on the show—Caroline Brazier.  I looked her up, and saw that I know her from Packed to the Rafters, and I also saw her fairly recently on City Homicide.

24. Felt sorry for Cleaver Greene (Richard Roxburgh). He fell in love with his sex worker (Adrienne Pickering) Then she quit. He believes they had something real between them, and she tells him it was a business transaction only.

I wonder how often that happens.

25. Realized it probably doesn't just happen with sex workers and their clients. It can happen with any person who feels they have befriended the person they're paying—hairdresser, tour guide, cruise waiter, housekeeper, psychologist, etc. 

I'm sure there are times that real friendships and/or likings develop. But sometimes it can be pure fakeness. 

It might even be fakeness masking hatred.

26.  Recognized an actor on Rake—Nicholas Hope. 

I saw that he was on Offspring. He played Tadgh Reid. I'm guessing that's Patrick's father.  

27. Finished watching the first episode of Rake. So far, I'm liking it a lot.

28. Started watching another episode of Rake.

29. Saw that this episode has Lisa McCune, who I know from Sea Patrol and Reef Doctors. 

30. Saw Lisa McCune's breasts.

31. Took a shower; then went to get dressed.

I decided to wear my ACDC shirt.

32. Wanted to say that I did not need a shower because of Lisa McCune's breasts. It was just time for my shower, and I felt all gross from taking out the trash.

33. Found myself liking Cleaver Greene a lot.

He's a funny and clever guy.

34. Noticed I'm loving on fictional Australian lawyers today. Or..well, one is a future Australian lawyer.

35. Decided that Lisa McCune reminds me of Asher Keddie. Maybe her voice and accent?

I don't remember noticing it before, so maybe it's just this particular character she's playing.

36. Thought of Nick (Damien Fotiou) on Neighbours, because I'm feeling a lot of anger and disgust at doctors right now. Yes, some doctors are wonderful people. And I'm sure most aren't as evil as Nick. But I think many of them are arrogant, ignorant, and incompetent.

37. Felt it's unfair that lawyers are seen as scum and doctors are often seen as wonderful heroic people.

I like Neighbours for going outside that viewpoint.  Imogen is quite wonderful, and she wants to be a lawyer. Her uncle Nick is horrible, and he's a cancer doctor. 

38. Remembered that Toadie (Ryan Moloney) is a lawyer too. He's shown in a very positive light.

And Neighbours doesn't make all doctors seem bad. Dr. Karl (Alan Fletcher) is a fairly positive character.  

Laziness, Hemsworth Brothers, Expats, and Holgate

1. Dreamed. Julian McMahon has a beautiful nanny with long wavy red hair.  Meanwhile, I'm married and my husband and I have never had children. I suggest to my husband that we adopt the nanny even though she's an adult. He doesn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea.

I'm guessing Julian McMahon had a child, and he didn't hire a nanny to take care of himself. I don't think it was anything kinky like that.  I'm not sure how we knew about the nanny. I vaguely remember seeing her outside...maybe from our window?  We could have been neighbors, I suppose. I don't know if I was friendly with this nanny.  Or did I just see her from afar and want to adopt her?

2. Dreamed, I'm with people who talk about wanting a houseboat (maybe my parents). I learn of someone who wanted a houseboat in Cairns but then they realized it was too expensive.

3. Decided I'd be lazy enough to live on Hope Island from Reef Doctors. I mean I think I could be one of those people who leaves the island only for emergencies.

Because when we're at the lake house, I'm not interested in leaving. I like to just chill— inside the house and outside. I don't like going off to movies or shopping. I don't like going out to dinner. 

There are people in my family who are eager to go out and do stuff when we're at the lake house. I think they'd be the people who'd complain about being on an island. They'd get bored fast and want to go back to the mainland.

Also, in Halls Gap I was the same way. Well, I was totally fine leaving our vacation house. But I only wanted to take walks. I didn't want to get in a car and venture out. 

4. Wondered how I felt about traveling.

I like it, but I think I prefer to be lazy.

I think I'd be willing to give up traveling if I could live on an Australian island.  I'd travel for emergencies or to visit people. Although I would hope most people would come and visit us.  

5. Asked by Jack what city we're going to go to on our next trip to Australia. I told him I don't know yet, and I told him about my thing of listing and giving points to Australian towns and cities that call out to me.  

6. Confused because I imagined, on our next Australia trip, spending the whole time on a GBR island, and it didn't appeal to me. 

I also feel the same way about Halls Gap. I love it. I'd love to live there. But if we visited Australia, I wouldn't want to spend my whole vacation there.

So...If I live in Australia, I'm okay hardly ever leaving the one place where we live. But if I visit Australia, I wouldn't want to spend the whole time in one place.

How can that make sense?

7.  Decided it's just a war within between the two sides of myself—a) the adventurous woman who wants to see as much of the world as possible b) the lazy woman who just wants to sit on a porch in her nightclothes feeding birds.

8. Started to watch an episode of The Saddle Club.

9. Liked the episode of The Saddle Club more than other episodes.  It's about Lisa  (Lara Jean Marshall) getting the chance to choose an abused horse to be fostered. She ends up picking the most severe/hopeless case. I kind of admire that about her.

It's a three parter. I'm probably going to watch only one episode today, though. I want to get started with season thirty of Neighbours, and I want to finish watching my episode of Coronation Street.  I started watching a third one last night despite being tired. Then I realized it was one of those special forty-five minute episodes. But I need to watch it, because, from what I read in the description, Karl is going to make a confession about the fire!

10. Saw that Luke Hemsworth is a guest star in this episode of The Saddle Club. Yesterday I saw his brother on an episode.

Have I seen Luke Hemsworth yet?  There was a guy at the beginning? Was that him?  

11. Figured it was Hemsworth I saw in the beginning. I don't see any other male guest stars on the credit list.   

12. Went back to the beginning of the show and saw Luke Hemsworth. He looks very different!  He was a bit heavier back then.  

He looks shorter as well.

I see a resemblance to Luke Hemsworth, but I would imagine it's a brother and not him.

13. Got my brain back in order. I was thinking of LIAM Hemsworth. Duh.

So Luke IS a brother of who I was thinking about.

Now it all makes sense. Because I was confused. The guy on The Saddle Club doesn't look like a fatter version of the guy on The Hunger Games.  He still looks fit but differently shaped. Stocky, perhaps. 

14. Looked at the IMDb filmographies of Chris, Liam, and Luke Hemsworth.  Chris was the first one to get a credit on his filmography. He played King Arthur on two episodes of a show called Guinevere Jones.  One of the stars of the show was Damien Brodie who also guest-starred on season two of The Saddle Club.

15. Learned from IMdb that Luke is the oldest brother in the family. Or at least he's the eldest of the acting Hemsworth brothers. Liam is the youngest.  He's eight years younger than Chris. Wow. I wouldn't have expected that.  

16. Saw that Luke Hemsworth has four children under the age of six.  I imagine that might be exhausting sometimes. My sister has three under the age of six—a six-year-old, an almost-five-year-old, and an almost two-year-old.  It can get a bit intense at times.  Personally, I thought it was quite hard having ONE child that young.

17. Saw that, according to IMDb, Luke is the shortest of the Hemsworth actors. But he's five foot 9. That's still fairly tall. It's just Liam and Chris are over six feet.  

I'm actually impressed that I noticed that Luke was shorter. I'm not often good at judging height.  

18. Started watching season thirty of Neighbours! There's a new opening credits. No more picnic with someone throwing a ball into the Pavlova.

Actually, I'm not sure it was a Pavlova. I just assumed it was, since they're in Australia. I'm stereotyping.

And was it a ball? Maybe it was a frisbee? Do Australians play frisbee?

19. Decided to watch the old opening-credits.  

It's a ball—looks like a tennis one.  The dessert could be a cake or Pavlova?  It looks more like a cake to me, but it has strawberries and kiwi which calls out Pavlova to me.  

20. Went back to watching the new credits. 

21. Felt strange seeing Damien Richardson as Gary on Neighbours, because now I'm used to him being a detective on City Homicide.

22. Saw that Richardson is on season three of Wentworth!

23. Suspected that IMDb is causing the annoying squeaky noises on my computer. I was hearing it before when I was doing Hemsworth research. Then it stopped. Now it's started again.

24. Thought of Maisie Mouse when I read that Richardson has a daughter named Maisie.

25. Started watching another episode of Neighbours. It looks like Paul Robinson is in trouble. 

26. Saw a photo of a Frangipani flower on the Outback Rover Adventures Blog.  Frangipani reminds me of the song "Feel Like Going Back Home" from Bran Nue Dae.  It's not a random thing. There's a line in the song about the flower.  

27. Listened to the song. I haven't heard it in a long time. I love it.  It kind of makes me want to go to Broome. 

28. Started watching another episode of Neighbours.

29. Had lots of thoughts while reading Nikki's post about choosing between two schools, in South Africa, for her son. She chose a school that had a strong sports emphasis even though her son is not athletic. She said no to the school that was more academically focused even though her son is more the academic type.

I think I would have done things differently. I guess I believe more in working with people's strengths rather than trying to fix their weaknesses. Although I think the latter in small doses isn't a bad idea.

On the other hand, you never know if a person might end up having a strength or interest you never expected.

I disliked sports throughout most of my life, and it wasn't until I was an adult that I learned I'm not so awful at basketball.

Jack recently announced his favorite subject is history, and I've never gotten the idea that he had any ounce of interest in that.

30. Hoped Nikki's son was happy at his school. The post was written six years ago, so now that's all in the past.  I'm kind of actually in suspense now, but I'm not going to give into temptation to read ahead.  Though judging from the labels on her blog, I don't think they're still in South Africa.  It looks like they end up in Atlanta, Georgia. Tim lives there part-time now. Maybe he'll run into them. I'll tell him to look out for some Australians. Although with all that time being an expat, they might have lost some of their accent.

31. Wondered what it would be like to be an expat. My cousin is one. I don't know what's going to happen there. Will she and her family stay in Australia and become Australian eventually? Will they be like Nikki's family and live in various places around the world? Or will they come back to the US?

The kids have spent most of their childhood in Australia. The oldest got there around age four and and would now be about twelve. Maybe?  But then they spent a few years back in the US—One or two.  I'm not sure.

32. Remembered that my mother-in-law was an expat too. She lived in England as a child.  Or maybe it was during her teen years.

33. Wondered about a poster on the wall of Daniel's bar on Neighbours. It says something about America and Australia. The name of it is Holgate. And there's something about a road trip?

34. Found out that Holgate is an American-style beer brewed in Victoria, Australia. Interesting.

Or actually, I think the beer is called Road Trip and it's brewed at Holgate Brewhouse.

35. Went to the website of Holgate Brewhouse. It's located in Picnic at Hanging Rock Land.—Woodend, Victoria.

You can find their beer in many places around Australia, especially Victoria.

36. Liked Michelle's anti-positive thinking post.  She says,  Believing that life is 90% how you react to it is positive thinking gone mad. It also strikes me that it is a useful lie; useful that is for those who sit at the top of the pile and beyond cruel to those at the bottom, whose lives are weighed down by brutal realities that are completely out of their control.

I personally feel my attitude is shaped by reality more often than my reality is shaped by my attitude. That's not to say an upbeat attitude won't ever lighten a dark situation. But it won't make the darkness go completely away.

37. Thought about something else. People who have a positive attitude about their own dark situation? That's usually tolerable and sometimes admirable.  When they push the positive attitude on someone else's despair? Then that's shit.  Cheer up! It's not so bad. Think positively! Don't worry; be Happy. Think of how lucky you are. Everything will be fine. Don't be so negative. You worry too much. Chin up. 

That being said. I can probably plead guilty to sometimes raining on someone's pity parade.  I TRY not to do it, though, and I think I usually succeed at avoiding it.

Sometimes I might be two-faced about the whole thing—act sympathetic but be thinking in my mind Does she ever stop moaning and complaining?  

That's the thing, though. Positive thinking is annoying but so is extreme and/or constant negativity. And if you're too loud and energetic at your own pity party, you're not leaving room for anyone else to join in.

It's like Haley on Coronation Street. She's so upbeat despite being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So everyone in town is showering her with excessive sympathy.  If she walked around depressed, moaning about how unfair it all is, her neighbours would probably try hard to avoid her.

38.  Started to watch another episode of Neighbours.

39. Wondered if Daniel and Imogen will end up getting together.  I like him better with her than Amber. But I don't really like Amber with Josh.

Maybe Amber would work well as a lesbian.

How about Amber and Naomi? That would be hot.

40. Worked on learning how to do screenshots on my computer. Because then maybe I can take pictures of the TV shows I watch, and include it in the post. For example, what if I want to mention a character's shirt or dress I like? Then I can screenshot it.

41. Managed to do a screenshot of Bailey(Calen Mackenzie). I'm just practicing here. I have nothing to say about Bailey or his clothes.

42. Found something to say about Bailey...or actually, Calen Mackenzie. When I was looking for the actor's name, I ended up learning he's left the show. That's sad. I like him. I'll miss him. Hopefully, he'll pop up on another one of my Aussie shows. Well...unless he's sick of acting.

43. Felt sad for Chris on Neighbours.  He wanted to be a mechanic and was on that road of life. Then he got a head injury, and now his hands no longer work as well.  I imagine it's really hard to be good at something, have career plans involving that skill, and then the skill is lost. Actually, the same thing happened to Georgia on the show. She was good at singing, but then had an operation for a throat tumor. The operation went wrong, and she lost her singing abilities.

44. Remembered that Georgia's career is in the medical field, not singing. But I think it was an important hobby to her? Or maybe she did make some money singing? I'm not sure.

Another example of someone losing their talent is in the book I'm reading now. A Fraction of the Whole.  Terry is a young sports star but then he gets a leg injury and has to find a new life path. Unfortunately, he chooses the criminal road.

45. Learned from Lord Wiki that Seth Rogan sang part of the Neighbours theme song for the Neighbors movie trailer.  I think it was for Australia only.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Is It Worth the Risk?

I've been watching an episode of City Homicide.  Detective Wolfe (Shane Bourne) believes he knows who killed his goddaughter. He is told, by those in charge, that all he has his circumstantial evidence and his gut-instincts. With the help of other detectives, Wolfe breaks into the suspects home without a warrant. There they violently rummage through the suspect's belongings, trying to find a secret room.

It turns out there is a secret room. Wolfe's instincts were right.

I still have a few minutes left of the episode; so I don't know in which way Wolfe's deeds will be perceived and acknowledged. Will he be congratulated? Will his risky actions seem heroic? Despite Wolfe being right, and saving lives, might he still get in trouble for not following the rules?

And what if he were wrong? What if they broke into the house of an innocent man? Would Wolfe have been fired? Would the media have turned him into a pariah? Would he be sued? Would the public want him crucified?

In taking risks, is it only outcome that matters? Or in judging the risk-taker, do we need to consider the outcome that never happened?

I also saw major risk-taking on the British soap opera Coronation Street. Tracey Barlow steals money from her own child's college-savings in order to pursue her dreams of opening up a pawn shop. She gives the money to her boyfriend Rob who is planning to be her business partner. Without consulting Tracey, he goes to a bookie shop and bets $600 on a horse. 

The owner of the bookie business is Peter Barlow, who is struggling to keep his business afloat. In order to attract customers, he offers crazy odds.  He actually can't afford to pay out what he would owe with a $600 bet, but he accepts Rob's bet anyway. Why? Because he hates Rob and wants to see him lose $600. I guess he imagines it's worth the risk.  

Rob wins. Poor Peter. He owes Rob $35,000. He doesn't have the money to pay out. He's bankrupted and humiliated.  He regrets his actions.  If only he didn't take the bet. If only he said no.  

But what if he had won? What if he not only won the bet between him and Rob, but what if his other customers lost as well?  What if his crazy odd idea worked in his favor, and his sinking business rose to happy new heights? Should he still feel ashamed for taking the risk? Would he still get stern looks from his wife?  

And then there's Rob. He won all this money by risking his girlfriend's daughter's college fund. Since he won, does it make it okay?  Was it worth it?  

I'm wondering what's worse—people who cause damage because they took a risk that turned out wrong, or those who stop a positive thing from happening because they didn't take action.  

I guess it depends, really.

I'm thinking of that saying about regret—that people never end up regretting what they DID do; they only regret what they didn't do.

I actually think that's bullshit. What if someone is on the fence about whether they want to go on a date with someone?  They decide not to, and later they learn the person they rejected was a rapist.  If they followed the idea of avoiding regret by saying yes to things, they might have been raped.  

On the other hand...in another story, the person could go on a date and they end up finding their soulmate.  

I guess this is why it's so hard to make decisions in life.

I'm trying to figure out what the hell I'm trying to say with this post.

Maybe it's that no matter what the outcome, we should always have some amount of consideration for what could have been the alternative.  If we win a thousand dollars by gambling a hundred, we should consider how we'd feel if we lost that hundred dollars. If we shoot an intruder in our house, and it turns out to be a serial killer, we should consider how we would have felt if it had turned out to be our child's friend sneaking in for a secret sleepover.  If we have to pay thousands of dollars in medical bills because we mistook bad gas for a heart attack, we should consider how we'd feel if it had been a heart attack, and the prompt action had saved our lives.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online