Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts

Hello?

The other night, when I was home alone, a voice woke me up.

"Hello?"  It was high-pitched, friendly, polite, anxious.

My two competing assumptions about the voice were that 

A) It was a hypnagogic hallucination

B) My headphones or the ambient noise thingie on my iPhone had been hacked.

Believing in B pre-Internet could probably be considered a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia. But these days? I think it's not illogical to suspect such a situation.  

If I did not have a history of hypnagogic hallucinations, A might have concerned me. I was simply surprised because I believed (wrongly believed) that prior to this event, all my hallucinations had been of Jack.

But....

Everyday, I look at Google Stats to see which of my blog posts are most popular with the bots in Hong Kong, Brazil, Singapore...(And now Israel, apparently).

Sometimes I look at the title of a post and have no idea what it was about.

Sometimes I'm curious enough to see what my past self was up to.

A post entitled "Parrots and Voices" got my attention. I thought maybe it provided validation for the cockatoo-related bigotry I had accused my past self of in this post.

It didn't.

There is no mention of cockatoos.

2012-Me had dreamed about rosellas.

AND....

2012-Me had been woken up by a voice.

That was not Jack's voice.

And the way I talk about it, it sounds like this was the first time it had ever happened to me.

2012-me wrote:  "Oh! The other good news is the voice sounded very nice....polite. She kind of sounded like one of my old high school friends.  She seemed kind of embarrassed to be waking me up."

The 2025 voice didn't remind me of any old high school friend. Though maybe between 2012 and 2025 I forgot what my high school friends sounded like.

The description, though, does match the vibe I got from the 2025 voice...nice, polite, embarrassed to be waking me up.

The one person I thought of that might kind of match the voice is Riley from Inside out.

I need to re-listen to her voice, though.

And I'm not sure if it would be the original Riley or the new Riley.

* * *

I just watched a clip or two of both original and new Riley.

She and she are much less high-pitched then the voice I heard.

BUT....the voice might be reminding me of Riley at a certain time. There might be times that she does get high pitched?

I'm not in the mood to go searching, though.

* * *

I will admit that yes, I did consider that the voice might be a ghost.

But since I was home alone, I didn't want to put too much thought into that.

Though...now that I write that, it seems silly.

A ghost might actually be less threatening than our devices being hacked by who knows what.

Now that I'm not home alone....

I've decided that no matter what it might be....

I'm going with it being a ghost.

Or a demon.

Or a guardian angel.

Or a cute-little-emotion-character that lives within me and is making itself known.  

Something...anything...supernatural.

* * *

For the rest of my life, I'm going to try to attribute as much weird stuff to the supernatural as I can.

Why?

To make life more fun...even if it's a bit scary at time.  

Really, though. I think it would be hard for supernatural-scary to compete with real-life scary.  (Dear Demonic beings: I'm not saying this as a challenge. Okay?)

 


Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Opal Kangaroo

I believe in signs.

By this, I mean I LIKE to believe in signs and try my best to indulge this aspect of my brain.

I don't necessarily have a huge amount of faith in signs.

Anyway...today I got home from the dentist (ugh) and as I was getting back into my comfy inside clothes I found my tiny little kangaroo opal pendant sitting alone on the shelf.  I'm not sure the last time I saw it or thought of it.  

I thought of asking Tim if he had placed it there. But then I decided it wouldn't matter.  Because even if he had found it somewhere and placed it on the shelf...couldn't it still be meaningful that it crossed his path like that?

Of course, there could be a very scientific and reasonable explanation for all this.  And I'm going to ignore it. 

Actually....I just remembered. I had a dream pertaining to this the other day.

I dreamed about bees in our house. I think in a wall?  And I believed it to be connected to some kind of ghost/haunting thing. Tim or someone else was trying to tell me there was likely a scientific cause such as bees building a bees nest near the wall. And I replied something along the lines of that even if there is something natural going on, supernatural thingies can still be part of the cause.

A supernatural event need not be purely supernatural. It wouldn't need to be magic bees that magically manifested within our walls.  It could be invisible demons or angry ancestors whispering to the bees and encouraging them to build within our walls.

Let's say one of our cats jumped up on the closet shelf and messed with my jewelry somehow.  Quite natural.  But the Powers that Be or other supernatural thingies could have somehow influenced the cat.



Read my novel: The Dead are Online 


Is Neighbours My Crystal Ball?

On Saturday, there was a knock at the door.

Tim answered it and then told me, We need to get out of the house now!

There was a gas leak next door.

It was exciting in that bond-with-your-neighbors-you-hardly-know way.

It was scary, because our cats were still in the house.

I mean we attempted to grab one and put him in the carrier but understood quickly it was a loss cause and went with hoping-for-the-best.

The best happened.

All was resolved in about twenty minutes.

What I heard is that someone hit the gas meter and then drove off.

This happened on Neighbours recently! 

Okay but not only that.  A day or two before, Tim had been telling me about a work related real estate drama. After he finished venting, I had started watching an episode of Neighbours and Toadie (Ryan Moloney) got a text with a very similar real estate drama.  

I think I should start seeing every storyline on Neighbours as a warning.



Sunflowers

The first summer we lived in our Carrollton house, one sunflower randomly grew in our front yard.  I was very delighted.



A photo of a large sunflower in the front yard of a suburb in Carrollton Texas
2022


In the fall, I collected some of the seeds and planted them in the backyard.  Which often equates to me throwing seeds into the air and hoping for the best.  

We ended up with about 5-7 big sunflowers.  Some were probably from the front sunflower and others were likely from bought seeds and/or uneaten bird/squirrel food. 



 
Sunflowers growing in a fenced backyard in Carrollton Texas
2023


In the Spring of 2024, many, many baby sunflowers started sprouting up.  

Young sunflowers growing in a backyard. The flowers haven't appeared yet.
2024



Though it's hard for me to do, I aborted quite a few of them.  

But we still ended up with a forest of sunflowers.


A backyard crowded with sunflowers
2024


It was beautiful but messy.

In terms of wildlife, it was wonderful.  Especially in terms of bees. 

In terms of being able to walk in our backyard...not so great.

In terms of Tim being able to move the lawnmower through the backyard to get to the front from the garage...not so great.

We got a stern letter from the HOA at one point.  I had to trim things down a bit.  Which I had planned to do anyway...as the weather got cooler.  Our HOA tends to have unpleasant timing.  

This next spring, I'm going to try to thin things out much more.  And I'm expecting a shitload of babies.

My aim is to have a small section of the yard crowded with sunflowers but have other areas where we can walk, let other things grow, etc.

As for the dead sunflowers, I've been working a lot to cut the remnants into small pieces, leaving them in the yard...rather than filling bags and bags and bags and bags of landscaping bags.  I love doing it.  It's a great thing to do while listening to audio books, podcasts, Neighbours, etc. 

Eleanor Roosevelt and the Jews (Part 6)

The beginning of this messy journey begins here.  


What I've been doing with these posts is searching for mention of Jews, Israel, and some related words in Eleanor Roosevelt's My Day column.

In this post, I'll be looking at what she wrote in 1954.

My searching has given me 17 results.  I'm going to subtract the ones where Roosevelt mentions the searched for words just in passing....UNLESS she talks about something else in the column that is particularly interesting to me.

* * *

Okay. I went through the 17.

I'm now left with 12.

* * *

Starting with January 8, 1954.

Roosevelt writes:

The Jewish people have been among the earliest settlers in our country. On October 12, 1492, Luis de Torres was the first Jew to land from Columbus' caravel Santa Maria and he gave thanks to God for having safely crossed the uncharted seas.

Yes. Jews participated in colonization.

I wonder how bad Luis de Torres was in terms of that.

Roosevelt also talks about the first Jewish cemetery in the United States.  It was consecrated in the year 1656.

* * *

Lord Wiki says that Luis de Torres was Columbus's interpreter.  He knew Hebrew, Chaldaic, and Arabic.

Uh...weren't they looking for India?

Maybe they were planning to go to Arabic countries as well.

Who was speaking Hebrew at the time?  

I have no idea what Chaldaic is.

I shouldn't judge these guys, because the world was much less explored in those days.  They might have had no idea about who was speaking which languages were.  

Or I might be wrong, and these guys were ignorant and didn't know how to use the research sources that were available back then.

* * *

Lord Wiki says de Torres was a converso.  I was thinking that had something to do with conversations...relating to him being a interpreter.  But it turns out that it means he converted to Catholicism.  

SO...if it ends up he was an extra violent, greedy, or cruel colonizer, I'll let the Catholics claim him.

If he ends up being less awful than the typical colonizer, I'll let us Jews claim him.

I'm joking.....

* * *

Lord Wiki says de Torres was killed in 1493, so he didn't spend a lot of time in the Americas.

* * *

I've now happened on an interesting website called The Internet Index of Tough Jews.

I'm wondering if the site is right-winged or more center.

Is it prejudiced that I can't imagine it being left-wing?

I feel left-wing people would appreciate toughness, but I feel we'd be more likely to honor things like compassion and intelligence.  

Anyway....

This website says that de Torres converted to Catholicism because of the Inquisition.  So it wasn't exactly a choice.

I'm not sure how much he needed to be coerced.  Was it like screaming No!!!!! Don't cut off my head!  I'll convert! Or was it more like Oh. Okay. Sure. Why not?  

Here, they give de Torres more languages for his resume—Aramaic (Fallen!) Spanish, Portuguese, French, and Latin.

They don't mention the Chaldaic thing.

Oh!!

Columbus thought he was going to find Asian descendants of the last tribes of Israel on his journeys.  That's why he wanted someone who could speak Aramaic and Hebrew.

So, there was some thought put into the languages.  It might not have been correct.  But it wasn't random or completely ignorant.

When they reached Cuba, Columbus sent de Torres and some others to find people.

There are conflicting stories about what happened to de Torres.  Some people gives him a long-lived happy ending and others have him being killed.  

The website says that in a Simon Weisenthnal book, Weisenthnal speculates that the first words spoken to the Native Americans were probably Hebrew.

Maybe?

I guess that's possible if they really saw finding-the-Asian-descendants-of-the-last-tribes a sure thing. 

I imagined it was more of a maybe-kind-of-thing.  

If one has no idea what language a group of people speak, what do they start with?

For those of us not bilingual, we'd probably just use our own language and hope for the best.

Would it be the same for an interpreter?

Maybe de Torres should have worked on some Indian languages. Like Hindi? I mean he did have that long ship ride.

Or maybe there were no books on Indian languages.

Maybe Chaldaic is an Indian language?

No...

Googled. It's a Semitic language.  Or it's connected to a Semitic group of people.  They were from what is now Southern Iraq.

It's confusing.

* * *

I'm thinking maybe I'm stupid and Columbus wasn't trying to go to India but some other place around there.

Googled.

I'm not going to read too much.  But I think he was trying to get to Asia in general.  And that might have included what we now call the Middle East.

I'm probably applying too much of our modern globe to 1492.

* * *

I was going to look up the first Jewish cemetery.  But I've already spent more time on the January 8 column than I wanted to.

I think I shall move onto the next column.  

* * *

I'm confused about whether I should use the term "Column" for the individual entries.

A few times, I've written "post" or "entry" but then I tell myself that Roosevelt wasn't a blogger, and I delete it.  

* * *

Before I move on, actually...

We had flags in our front yard—three small Pride flags and an American flag we took from the Lake House.

A few weeks ago, the American flag disappeared.

Of course, we thought it was some kind of political attack.  

We watched the Ring videos, but it didn't show the thief.  

Tim questioned why they took the American flag and not the Pride ones.

I said they probably didn't like people like us having an American flag.

Then....

Yesterday, I suddenly noticed the three Pride flags were missing.

Again, I watched the Ring video.  I didn't see a thief.  But I could pinpoint the general time, the flags disappeared.

Tim couldn't figure out how the thief circumvented the camera.  He suggested it might be an animal.  Though I'm not sure he actually believed that.  I vetoed that theory. I could imagine an animal accidentally taking one flag.  But all three?

I ordered more flags from Amazon...a whole bunch.  It was kind of about being patriotic and supportive of LGBTQ+.  But I think I mostly bought them as bait.  

Tim had plans to put out a second camera.

Then I guess he decided to watch the footage from yesterday again. He has access to something where the camera takes a photo every...thirty seconds? Three minutes?  I forget.

He called me over.

It HAD been an animal. A squirrel!!!

We didn't get good footage of the actual thievery.  It's too far away and blurry. But we saw enough to conclude the squirrel did it.

I Googled and found a story of a veteran who thought people were stealing his flag.  It ended up being a squirrel taking the parts of the flag to use for his nest.

Anyway...I have lots of flags.  So I'll keep providing the squirrel with new material.  

* * *

Moving onto January 19, 1954.

I was confused here.  

Roosevelt says:

Sunday a very unique party was given in New York City in honor of Dr. Israel Goldstein. This party was an informal reception for the many "little people" whose troubles and difficulties have been heard by members of the Jewish Conciliation Board of America, Inc., of which Dr. Goldstein is the president. He is also the president of the American Jewish Congress and a distinguished rabbi.

When I first saw this, I quickly imagined she was talking about dwarfs.  I told myself I was wrong. But then I started having doubts.  

Maybe the word "unique" made me question things.

* * *

Well, I just Googled Israel Goldstein.  He wasn't a dwarf.

So I think little people here probably means not-famous.

It would the 1950's version of not-blue-checked.

* * *

Now I'm having more (different) confusion about the party.

Roosevelt says:

Here I want to report to you only on this particular party. Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas was the principal speaker and the place of meeting was the old Educational Alliance Building on New York's Lower East Side. This is one of our oldest and best known settlement houses. Many of the little people gathered there were survivors of Hitler's concentration camps, others were products of New York's tenements. There were also present, however, judges and lawyers and business leaders who sat on the panels to hear the cases and to settle the disputes for these little people to the satisfaction of both the plaintiff and defendant.

I'm guessing the party was for the people who once had their disputes handled there.  The Little People.  But it almost sounds like they dealt with disputes at the party.

I'm kind of impressed that they got all these disputing people to come and celebrate together.

I mean even if a dispute is settled, I don't think it automatically restores peace between people. I also imagine the losing side would often be resentful.

I'm wondering if most of the people attending the party were the winners in their disputes.

* * *

The Jewish Telegraphic Agency has a 1959 article about the Jewish Conciliation Board. 

The article says, Dr. Goldstein pointed out in his speech that many of the cases dealt by the Board “involved Jewish patterns, traditions and mores which only a Jewish tribunal could understand sympathetically.

And....

Under the arbitration laws of New York State we have been able to render binding decisions, “Dr. Goldstein reported. “We have probably saved our city and state millions of dollars in court costs and eased the already overcrowded court calendars.

That makes sense.

Though I still imagine people being disgruntled about the decisions.  

* * *

In her January 29 column, Roosevelt writes about the one hundredth anniversary of the Jewish Community Center Movement.

I knew there were Jewish Community Centers, but I didn't realize there was a movement regarding them.

A Senator named Herbert Lehman talked about the the Centers and the movement in Congress.  At that time, there were 350 centers and more than a half million members.

This makes me feel guilty that we don't belong to a Jewish Community Center.

The last time we had any involvement is when we accompanied my sister and her family to a Jewish Community Center pool.  I have no idea what year that was.

Lehman said to Congress that the centers are a vigorous force for democracy. A center gives the American Jew those enriching experiences which help make him a better Jew and a better citizen and therefore a happier and more interesting person

I can imagine that's true for some Jews.  But I think the same can be said for libraries, fandom conventions, movie theaters, college campuses, dog parks, theme parks, haunted houses, museums, botanical gardens, zoos, sporting events, virtual online spaces....

Well, maybe not the Jewish part but it would work for the happier-and-more-interesting person part.

* * *

The Jewish Community Movement has a website.  They now call themselves the JCC Association of North America.

I'm very glad to see that the JCC leans left.

They have a whole page for a statement on racial equality and also one for their support of Asian and Pacific Islanders.

On racism they say:  We are inspired by voices calling upon us to come together to root out racism and inequality while those who would incite and divide us, sow discord and disharmony that place our progress as a nation at risk.

That's a very polite and pointed way of saying We're not MAGA.  

They have the longer version of the beautiful, important Eli Wiesel quote: 

I swore never to be silent whenever wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must—at that moment—become the center of the universe.

I wish there was a gun that would shoot quotes instead of bullets.

I would shoot Eli Wiesel's quote to anyone who 

A) tells a corporation or company to stay out of politics

B) tells a celebrity that they should stay out of politics

C) Treats politics like team sports rather than decision-making that will have huge consequences for people lacking in privilege.  

* * *

I just remembered/realized that both my nieces attended and worked/work at a Jewish Community Center camp.  And now one of them is getting a degree in education.  

Interestingly, the Jewish day camp that my older sister and I went to in Madison Wisconsin isn't listed as a JCC camp.  I guess some Jewish camps are outside the system?

And the Cystic Fibrosis camp where Tim and I first met was held at a Jewish camp.  That's not part of the JCC either.

Well...now I'm looking at the website of Camp Blue Ridge, and I'm not seeing anything about it being a Jewish camp.

Maybe it's not Jewish anymore?

* * *

I Googled and ended up on the Jewish Federation Website

About Camp Blue Ridge, they say: While the camp is officially non-affiliated, the majority of the clientele come from an American Jewish background.

Interesting.

I wonder if it was affiliated in the 1980's and 1990's?

Also...I'm thinking maybe some Jewish camps are affiliated with the Jewish Community Center and others are affiliated with the Jewish Federation.  And I guess some are unofficially affiliated.

* * *

Googled my old day camp.  Camp Shalom.

It's affiliated with the Jewish Federation.  

I'm wondering what's the relationship between the Federation and JCC?  Are the two organizations friends?  Frenemies?

* * *

Later in the January 29 column, Roosevelt talks about her visit to Canada.  She had dinner with the Consul General of Israel whose husband became the Minister of Israel from Canada.

She mentions their last name (Camay) but not their firsts.

I did some Googling and was unable to find about more about Mr. and Mrs. Camay.

And....One of the few sites listed was Roosevelt's column.

* * *

Sadly, I wrote two of the days out of order.

I don't really want to jump back in time, so I'm going to skip talking about what Roosevelt wrote on January 27.

* * *

Jumping ahead to February 12. 

Roosevelt writes about a movement in Chicago to get people to buy Israeli Bonds.

Some things that Roosevelt says about Israel for this day:

So far the interest in these bonds has always been met promptly and I think that anyone who has been in Israel will come away, as I did, with the feeling that the spirit of the people there is one that promises success for the establishment of a stable country.

And...

There is much to be done and many problems to be met in Israel but in that area of the world, Israel is the one country which seems to be embarked on creating a truly democratic form of government. If peace can be really established between the Arab nations and Israel, I think Israel can serve as a valuable spark plug for democracy as well as for economic improvement in the lives of the people of the whole area.

I feel that's somewhat ethnocentric. I'm not sure.

As much as Jews were "other" in the United States, I think back then that Arabs/Muslims were much more so.  

And while some of the Jews in Israel were Middle Eastern, there were others coming from Europe.  And Americans in the 1950's probably had a stronger comfort level with people originating from Europe.  

On the other hand, I am lacking when it comes to the history of the Middle East.  It could be that the countries there were very much lacking in democracy.

And economic progress.

Progress is a hard one for me.

I wish every person had access to progress whether it be about values or technology.

At the same time, I want every individual to have the freedom not to participate in modern values and modern technology.  BUT.... I don't want those people imposing their restrictions on others...including their spouses or children.

Well...all children are going to be at least somewhat restricted by their parent's decisions and way of life.  I think it's only problematic when there are too many restrictions and/or the child, as they approach adulthood, is forced or manipulated into remaining a part of a very restrictive situation 

* * *

Thinking more about it.

It's like I feel it's wrong to judge other cultures and countries for being less modern.

But then at the same time, less modern often equals less civil rights.

And thinking about it....

I would very much prefer that people around the world judge my state (Texas) harshly.

So...if most countries in the 1950's Middle East were like Texas in terms of how the laws treat women and other marginalized people, and Israel showed promise of turning the whole area into less Texas and more California or New York.....

Then I'm 100% on board with what Roosevelt was saying regarding the Middle East.

* * *

Onto March 11....

Roosevelt writes about getting a pathetic letter from an Israeli mother.  I was sort of expecting some shaming from Roosevelt.  But pathetic has changed meanings through the years.

These days, it's usually used as an insult.  But I think in the past, it was more a word of compassion.

Anyway, what happened is the mother's daughter had been heading to Iran to visit her husband. He had been working there.  

The plane had to make an emergency landing in Iraq. The police detained the daughter, because she had an Israeli passport.  Then they put her in prison.

I really am lost when it comes to Middle Eastern politics.  

I'm surprised it was deemed safe for her to go to Iran.  Did Iran have better relations with Israel than Iraq back then?

The daughter was thirty-one when this happened. About a decade earlier, she had spent four years in a Nazi concentration camp.

I wonder what happened to her.

Did she get out?

Did she survive?

Roosevelt provides the name of the daughter—Minni Bar-Ness.  I Googled and didn't find anything.

* * *

I Googled more—using different search terms.  I still can't find anything.

I feel it should be out there somewhere.

Roosevelt says the mother wrote: Since then six weeks have passed and all efforts on the part of the Israeli, Dutch, English and other authorities were ineffectual and fruitless. The whole world is informed about the matter and calls it a 'kidnapping.'

If the whole world knew about it, I feel someone should have written about it somewhere.

Maybe it was written about but never archived...at least not where it's easy to find on the Internet.

I could also be Googling the wrong things.

Two disturbing theories cross my mind.

A) That it never happened and the woman was seeking attention from Roosevelt.  It's not like, in those days, Roosevelt could go on Twitter to see for herself what the world was saying.

B) These types of kidnappings/imprisonments were so commonplace that they weren't seen as newsworthy.

* * *

The better scenario is that I'm Googling wrong.

The best solution is someone points me in the right direction, and I learn the Israeli woman was released from Iraqi prison and lived a long life.

I want to say happily ever after but after a Nazi death camp and then being imprisoned for having the "wrong" passport, I'm sure she'd too traumatized to be a very happy person.

* * *

I just tried again.

I'm unable to let this go.

I Googled Minni Bar-Ness and Tel Aviv.  I ended up seeing another My Day column one that I hadn't saved.  I guess it doesn't mention Israel or Jewish specifically.  But I'll add it now.

From what I can see in the little search blurb, Minni Bar-Ness ended up coming home.  I'll read the other details when I get to June 5.

For now, I'm heading over to March 26. 

Roosevelt writes about Catholics, Protestants, and Jewish groups making a joint effort to raise money for distressed people overseas.

She writes: It is a heartening thing when the three great religions in the United States come together and make a joint appeal for the support of their widespread relief and reconstruction efforts in areas of distress overseas.

I imagine/hope that these days, Muslims and other religions would be included in the team work.

I imagine American Muslims were not included (or not mentioned) in the 1954 endeavor, because they were marginalized.  I doubt it was because they were less giving and compassionate.  

I'm wondering what the US population of Muslims was compared to the US population of Jews.  

* * *

I'm not easily finding population statistics about Muslims in the 1950's.

I think I'm going to give up.

My Google adventures are not going so well today.

* * *

May 19.

Roosevelt writes about a booklet that talks about her husband's meeting with King Ibn Saud.  It was published by a group called American Friends of the Middle East, Inc.

I think I read about this meeting.  It was where the King was not very on board with the whole Israel plan.  

* * *

I searched my blog.

It was in part 2 of my Eleanor Roosevelt series.  

I'm not sure when the meeting between FDR and King IBN Saud took place, but she wrote about the meeting in October 1945...which was six months after FDR had died.

FDR hadn't been pleased with the talks.

Roosevelt defends...explains...what she had meant in the May 22 column.

My husband came back full of interest in the whole meeting and with great admiration for King Ibn Saud. But Colonel Eddy says in one place that he was surprised to hear that my husband said he was disappointed in his interview. I think I can clear that point up.

It was not the meeting nor the personal feeling he had for the King that was a disappointment. It was something else, which I heard him speak of several times. He had hoped that from this meeting there could come an understanding with the King which would make for a pleasanter atmosphere surrounding the small, new state of Israel.

Well, yeah.

In her 1945 column, it's not like she said that her husband came home and talked about how the king was creepy, annoying, rude, etc.  

I think it was clear that he was disappointed with the talks and not the king himself.

Though if a meeting doesn't result in what we're were hoping for, it wouldn't be surprising if we hold some negative feelings towards the person who brought on the disappointing results.

Roosevelt writes: 

My husband felt that there was so much land in that area, and that the promise of a homeland had been made to the Jews who settled in Israel. He hoped that by peaceful means a settlement could be arranged which would not create bad feeling between peoples that had lived side by side in harmony. He was disappointed that, just as Colonel Eddy reports, King Ibn Saud made no concessions as regards Israel.

I feel in this particular column, Roosevelt is playing the game of diplomacy. Maybe kind of awkwardly.

 

* * *

In her May 22 column, Roosevelt talks about opposition to the United Nations.  

She talks about a pamphlet she received titled  "Giving Away Our Liberties to the Super Government of the U.N."

The pamphlet says: Apart from these dangerous aspects of our membership in the anti-Christian U.N. these are serious reasons why we must unite in prayer to try to get the U.S. out of the U.N. Some of the most-important reasons are the deadly 'genocide treaty,' the 'Covenant of Human Rights,' the 'UNESCO,' together with other demands of the U.N. that we abandon our immigration laws, our tariffs and our foreign policies.

I think there are Americans today who are against the UN.  I think usually right-wing ones.

In response to the "deadly genocide treaty", Roosevelt writes:

The genocide treaty is not deadly. It was written to unite all people of all nations against the mass extermination of a whole people in the way Hitler tried to exterminate the Jews in Germany and later the Poles in Poland.

What kind of person would be against a genocide treaty?

Did they imagine it was a pro-genocide treaty?

Roosevelt says the pamphlet was written by a group called the Cinema Education Guide.  I wonder if they're still around or if there's anything out there written about them.  

* * *

Googled.

I can't find anything.

They might have been super fringe.

* * *

Now I'm back to the story of Minni Bar-Ness.

I thought I had initially missed the June 5 column, because it doesn't mention "Jewish" or "Israel".  But Roosevelt does mention the United Jewish Appeal.  So, I think for some reason, I had wrongly concluded that it didn't have anything substantial.

OR I might have clicked on it/closed it accidentally?

Anyway...Roosevelt writes that she received a letter from Minni Bar-Ness. Apparently, Bar-Ness had been released from the Iraqi prison and reunited with her husband and son.  

I was thinking that her story need not have been very commonplace in order to be not newsworthy.  

These days, it seems very easy to become newsworthy. We have so many news outlets.  And most every news outlet can be accessed via Google.

If something newsworthy happens to me in Carrollton Texas and someone from my past decides to Google me, they'll be able to probably find mention of it.

In the 1950's, there was finite space for news.  There was more chance for things to fall under the radar.

All that being said, I'm still suspicious and can very much imagine a person writing to Eleanor Roosevelt with a fake story.

* * *

If anyone out there knows of this Minni Bar-Ness....please tell me!

She must have descendants out there somewhere.

Though...I say this and then think, What if someone out there decides to pile on to the making-stuff-up.

* * *

Roosevelt mentions neither Jews nor Israel in her July 20 column.  She mentions Palestine.

A group called The Christian Rural Overseas Program sent surplus food items to various groups in needs; one being displaced Arabs from Palestine.  This included butter, cheese, powdered milk, and cottonseed oil.

* * *

I Googled Christian Rural Overseas Program and ended up on the website of CWS: Church World Service.

I'm guessing it's the same organization. 

They seem to be a left-wing Christian organization.

I say this, because their website says: 

We know that racism and prejudice have no part in the just world that we want to live in. In 1996, we responded to an epidemic of burned and desecrated Black churches in the United States. Alongside our partners, we mobilized thousands of volunteers to help rebuild more than 80 churches. In 2020, we launched our Platform for Racial Justice.

That's very cool.

* * *

I'm not seeing anything on their website that says they used to be called Christian Rural Overseas Program.

Googling some more....

This Mennonite cousin of Lord Wiki says that Christian Rural Overseas Program worked under CWS.  CWS sponsored them.

* * *

The last column I'm going to look at for 1954, and this post, is December 20.

In this column, Roosevelt writes:

In thinking about this question of human rights, I have lately wondered whether anywhere in the world they are the concern of all the world or should be considered only as a domestic question.

And then she answers:

But the more I turn this over in my mind the more I feel convinced that, at least for those nations that signed the charter of the U.N., human rights must be viewed as the concern of all the nations and not only the concern of an individual nation.

I agree.

Though it can be complicated and difficult.  Because of....

A) Hypocrisy. It's hard to successfully point fingers at other countries when your country has its own problems

B) There's always that battle between minding our own business and saving the vulnerable.

C) The need to maintain diplomatic relations.

Judging countries is very similar to judging families.

Where do we draw the line between abuse/dysfunction/toxic vs. a  different-style-of-parenting?

When should we respect differences and when should we intervene?

(By intervening, I don't necessarily mean calling CPS. It could be a concerned email/ text; Or an in-person meeting; Or subtle hinting with memes on social media)

* * *

With families, there's probably less of a need to maintain diplomacy.

Well...there's still a need.  But the threats are more along the line of silent treatments and angry emails rather than oil access, Federal Aid, trade agreements, war, etc.  

Note: I write these posts over a few days and didn't realize until proofreading and editing that this kind of connects (maybe contradicts in some ways) what I wrote regarding the Elie Wiesel quote.  Or it doesn't really contradict it.  It's maybe more explaining why it might be difficult to speak out. BUT I think fear and hesitation about speaking out is understandable and somewhat sympathetic.  I think its' much different from pressuring others not to speak out.  

* * *

Getting to the Jewish/Israeli part of the column.

Roosevelt recommends some books.  One of them is a book called A Village by the Jordan by an Israeli named Joseph Baratz. Roosevelt says he's a friend of hers.  I wonder if she means a real friend or someone she had the pleasure of briefly meeting once or twice when she was in Israel.  

Used copies of the book are available on Amazon.  

I wonder if the book was ever (somewhat) popular. And if so, did Roosevelt help with that?  I wonder if she was like Oprah (or any modern day influencer).  Did things get a bump in popularity when she mentioned them?

* * *

Lord Wiki has a page on Baratz.

He was also a politician.  

Born in Russia, he immigrated to Palestine in 1906 at the age of 16.

At that time, Palestine was under the control of the Ottoman empire.

I really need to learn more about all these different stages of Israel.

Anyway....Baratz worked on Israel's first Kibbutz.  I think that's what the book was about.


Read my novel: The Dead are Online 


Captured

One of my current special interests is dreams. This is not the first time I've been into dreams. It's been a recurring interest for most of my life.

I've made two purchases recently for my dream interest.

The first is a lucid dreaming app called Capture. The second is a bottle of pills that is supposed to increase your chances of having lucid dreams.

I'm not actually particularly desiring lucid dreams this time. The last time I was very into dreams, it was quite important to me. Now I'm more interested in just having fun, beautiful, spiritual, otherworldly dreams. If they happen to be lucid, that's cool. But I'm okay if they're not.  That being said....it usually are my lucid dreams that are the most fun, beautiful, spiritual, and otherworldly.   

Capture has a free mode which seems pretty good in itself. But I decided to splurge and pay the $6 for a year's subscription. I say splurge, because often I automatically turn away from apps that aren't free.  I should probably get out of that mindset, especially when a price is so reasonable.

Anyway....

Capture has multiple parts. I think I'll explain them by just talking about how I personally use the app.

In the morning, I write down my dream. This goes under the story section. It's surely optimum to write down one's dreams before getting out of bed.  But A) I don't want to disturb Tim  B) The cats are wanting to eat.

So after I feed Annie and Yeti...and usually also pee, I go upstairs, sit on the couch, and write down my dreams.  Annie usually comes up while I'm doing this and sits on my lap.

The writing part takes about thirty minutes.

Twice I've also written down dreams in the middle of the night.  But usually I hope for the best, in terms of remembering, and wait until morning to write things down.

I've been a little confused about what Capture intends for us to do in terms of dividing dreams. There's a question in their analyze section that asks how long our dream was. It makes me feel that we are supposed to write each dream down separately.  

I'm not even sure what I mean by "each dream".  Are dreams divided by storylines? Awakenings?

What I've ended up doing is, the few times I've written down dreams in the middle of the night, I write those down as a separate dream. Otherwise I write down all the dreams of that night as one dream.  

After I write down the dreams and give the dreams a title, I usually take a break. I do something else. Usually, this break is feeding the cats again. (Yeti has a vomiting issue, so I have to feed him small amounts and often).

Then I go back to Capture.  I fill out the analyze sections which asks about dream length, symbols, moods, lucidity, vividness, etc.  

The symbol section is a lot of fun...and helpful. The symbols are divided into characters, people, objects, themes, and actions.  It took me awhile to decide what to put where.  For example, I pictured themes as being more broad....like the common dream themes (ie losing teeth) or are personal dream themes. But now I'm kind of using the themes section as a miscellaneous section...and my list there is quite long.

For characters, I use proper nouns. I write down names of people who appear in the dream, who I think about in the dream, who I vaguely remember being in the dream, who are mentioned in the dream. And I even write down names of people who were not in the dream but someone reminded me of them in the dream.  For example, this morning I wrote down Melissa Gilbert. She wasn't in my dream. But there was a woman who reminded me of her.  

I put objects into the objects section. That's pretty straight forward.

For the people section, I use common nouns or general descriptions. For example, this morning I added actor/actress for Melissa Gilbert...and also Harrison Ford.  

I add 1st family for any dreams about my family of origin (parents, sisters) and 2nd family for Tim and Jack.  

I had some of my confusion over friendship leak into the process.  I started using the term past friends along with where I had met these particular friends. This way I can later look back and see how many times I dreamed of past friends from...let's say Madison, Wisconsin.  The friends definitely in the past were easy.  What confused me is the friends who are mostly in the past, but we still communicate very occasionally.  In most situations, I'd consider them past-friends. But for the sake of the dream app, I decided to label them as just friends.  

I had to make a decision about animals. For characters, it was pretty easy.  I list Annie, Yeti, and our other non-human companions in that section. Animals can be characters. But they really aren't people.  Yet it seems morally depraved to list animals as objects. So I chose the people section over the object section.

In the people section, I also tend to have unknown generalized people...like woman, man, child, mother.  I seem to often dream of strangers.

I tend to usually skip over the action section. I put most of that stuff into themes.

One aspect of the Capture app that I skipped over initially but now love is the photo section. You can search through some provided photos to illustrate your dream. The selection isn't fantastic. But I've been able to find good-enough photos for most of my dreams. I didn't use it at first, because I thought it was just an image you'd see when you clicked on the particular dream.  But the image is actually used on your dream-list page. So when you're scrolling through, you can see the title, date, and an image. I try to usually pick a photo that is not related to the title. That way if the title doesn't help me remember the dream, maybe the photo might.  

Note: You can also add your own photos, but I tried it once, and the app said the photo was too big. If someone is in the mood to take the time to resize things, they might take advantage of this.  

After I write down all the symbol things, I go onto do other things. Then later during the day or at night, I will fill out the interpretation section.  This is one of my favorite parts. With this, I go through each symbol and write either nothing; what the symbol might mean to me, some specifics that I forgot or had forgotten to mention when initially writing down the dream; or I just write down simple clarifications.  

For me, this activity has two purposes. The first is it's playing psychologist to myself.  It gets me to think about my feelings towards things...and at times come to very difficult realizations. The second is to keep an easy record of patterns and/or just have an easy way to access past dreams. With each symbol, on the interpretation section, you can click on it and see other dreams in which the symbol appeared...plus the notes you once wrote about the symbol.

So...if I'm one day curious about what actors/actresses I've dreamed about, I can click on that and see a list.  

I've come to learn that if I leave a symbol blank, when I refer to it later....it will give me no information.  For example: It would just say the name of the dream (with the image) and the symbol. Let's say...Animal.  So...it helps to at least quickly jot down what animal it was that I dreamed of.

I'm not sure if the above paragraph makes enough sense. So I'll just say...filling out the form as completely as possible helps with filing, retrieving, etc.  

I tend to list symbols as excessively as some people list hashtags on social media. I do a lot of repeating the same symbol in different forms. Well...because let's say I want to later find all my dreams about pastries and another day I'm looking for all my dreams about food in general. So if I dreamed about chocolate donuts, I might list that under donuts, pastries, chocolate, and food.  

Because of my massive number of symbols, I usually don't do the interpretation part in one sitting.  I do bits at a time throughout the day and evening.

With the $6, you get a statistics/chart kind of thing. I've not been overly impressed with this.

First of all, it lists only your three top symbols. I don't need an app to tell me that Tim, and Jack are the most common "symbols" in my dreams.  It would be much more interesting to see the top ten or twenty symbols.

The other thing I feel to be a bit off is the emotion part.  Capture was trying to tell me that my dreams are full of super-positivity. The little emotion graph was very unbalanced.  I started to realize this is because they have divided the emotions love, joy, peace, anger, sadness, fear, and unease into multiple more specific emotions. So while love might not truly dominate my dreams, I do seem to have more variety in the types of love I feel.  

If I have a dream where I have a shitload of fear and a little bit of friendship, a little bit of love, and little bit of gratitude, the graph is going to say my dream was super loving and mildly fearful.  And that would be a lie.

I fixed things by skipping over the specific emotions and just listing the general emotion once. I figure if I had one of those specific emotions, and I feel it's important to mention it, I can add it to the theme section.  

Even with going back and fixing the
emotions, my chart still shows that my
dreams lean more towards positive emotions. 
I'm pleasantly surprised to see anger is
the lowest. And I do feel this is accurate; that
lately I've been much less angry than 
I used to be (in real life AND dreams) 


I also think, to make the emotions more accurate, if I do have particularly strong emotions that night...I might click on two of the emotion words, so that emotion gets special emphasis.  

Last but not least...but kind of least for me at this point are the lucidity tools. I think the reality check is included with the free version and the Wake Back to Bed and Wake Induced come with the premium version.

I actually didn't look at the latter until just now.  I expected them to be much more intensive.  It turns out they're just sounds to listen to while trying to meditate back to sleep and an alarm to wake yourself in the middle of the night. The sound effect choices sound kind of cool, so maybe I'll try it someday.

I have the reality checks enabled. Every so often, my phone buzzes or I get a message on my phone asking: Am I dreaming?

A dutiful person would probably take the time to check things out. Like try to fly...see if any teeth are lose, look to see if words are moving on the page, etc.  

I just lazily quickly answer the question.

The first few times, I quickly thought/answered: no.  Then I realized, I shouldn't be too quick to judge.  So, now I usually answer with something less confident like...maybe or I'm not sure.  

There was this one morning....

I opened up the dishwasher to unload it. I felt something fall on my head.  I tried to ignore it....continue with my chores.  But I felt that this something was still in my head.  I reached up and found a lightsaber chopstick stuck in my hair.  I pulled it out. 

At some point later, either my phone buzzed or my phone asked the question. Am I dreaming?

Well, it would seem that YES I was dreaming. I mean logically speaking, that was a dream. Or it should have been.

But as far as I know, it wasn't.  

Because I never had the part where I wake up and write down the dream.

I have no idea how the chopstick flew up and landed in my hair.  Did opening the dishwasher propel it somehow?  But it just seems so unlikely (in reality vs dreams) for it not only to land in my hair but lodge in there as well.     

If weird things like that are going to happen to me in real life, how can I easily answer the question of whether or not I'm dreaming or awake?

I've done reality checks before the app...especially in times where I've very much wanted lucid dreams.  The plan is supposed to be that you get so used to doing the checks in real life that the habit carries into your dream.  I don't think that has ever worked for me.

This morning I was thinking that if the question ever did carry over into my dream....what will probably happen is this: I'll get the question in the dream.  I'll answer "No" or "maybe" and then quickly continue onto my NOT-lucid dream.  Then later, I'll wake up and be annoyed at my dream self's stupidity and the loss of opportunity.  

Onto the other thing I bought.  This post is already quite long, so I'll probably save the very-detailed details (ie: ingredients) for a maybe-future-post.

Quickly, though....the pills are called Dream Leaf.  Amazon has them $30 dollars for sixty pills.  BUT you are supposed to take two pills a night—a red pill and a blue pill.  One pill helps you to fall asleep.  Then you're supposed to set your alarm for four to five hours later and take the next pill.  The second one is supposed to do things to your brain to increase the vividness of your dreams.  

What I've read in reviews is that while the pills work well for increasing the vividness of your dreams, it's up to your own talent/skills to have an actual lucid dream.  

If these pills do give me awesome dreams, I think a dollar for the experience is a really good price.  Plus, when I went to buy it on Amazon, there was some kind of lightening deal going on, and I got the pills for nine dollars off. That was very cool.  

Even though the price is good for such a worthwhile experience, I plan to ration them out.  The main reason being I'll probably wait for when Tim is out of town, so I can avoid disturbing him with the waking up, writing down earlier dreams, etc.  But also...recording and analyzing my regular (not- Dream Leaf) dreams probably takes up to an hour and half of my time.  I imagine the Dream Leaf dreams are going to be even more time-consuming. 

I'm thinking I might also experiment a couple of times... see what happens if I take only one of the pills instead of both.

Anyway, I hope it work at least a little bit.  I also hope it doesn't work too well in that I become some kind of lucid dreaming addict.  Well...it feels very reasonable to spend a dollar for a lucid dream. But it seems excessive to spend $365 dollars a year on lucid dreaming. 

Then again.... that mindset can make any habitual purchase in our life seem very excessive.  


Edited to add (1/18/2022) I changed back to the intended way of recording emotions.  I decided if I looked back at a dream, I would like to know what emotions I was feeling...Well and also, sometimes it feels cathartic clicking on the various emotions. I decided these two things are more important to me than what an overall graph shows. 

Edited to add 4/16/2025-I stopped using "Capture" (which is now called Oniri). The problem for me is they kept adding and changing things to a point that it became very difficult to record my dreams. My "bye bye" point came after the app started to automatically fill in the symbol page based on what I had written in the story section. Part of coming up with my own symbols and going through the written dream to find the symbols was an important part of my process.

The app became intrusive and controlling. 

So I no longer use it.

Another thing I want to mention (not pertaining to criticism of the App) is I've started my own new method of trying to become more aware in my dreams.

Instead of asking if I'm dreaming...which I'm just too sarcastic and lazy to actually take seriously enough to wonder about, test out, answer, etc....

I simply try to remember to say to myself throughout the day, "I am in the waking world and..." then I describe what I'm doing, thinking, feeling, etc.

My hope is that this will eventually carry into my dreams, and I will think "I am in the waking world and..Oh wait. Am I? Why is the toilet in the middle of the living room, and why am I trying to poop in front of my whole family?"

To help this along...if something weird happens in the waking world and I remember to think my little mantra thing, I will try to think something along the lines of, "I am in the waking world and something really weird happened so I am having some reasonable doubts about whether I AM actually in the waking world."

Even if the process ultimately fails, and I don't get more lucid dreams...I hope it will have the second benefit of making me more mindful within the waking world.  



Read my novel: The Dead are Online 



An Exhausting List of My Special Interests

I've decided to make a list of all most of my life's what I used-to call-obsessions but the autistic community labels as "Special Interests".

I will surely forget things.

I know this, because I've seen myself forgetting things.  I've been reading some 2006 journal entries and find myself being reminded of interests I had forgotten.  Or sometimes there are interests that I downplayed in my head.  But now I read my journal and think...Wow, I was super obsessed.

I'm going to try to go in chronological order.


Edited to add 4/6/24- I've now decided that many of these things were NOT special interests.  More about that...way, way below.  


Peter Pan

The Wizard of Oz

Roald Dahl books 

Annie

Savannah Smiles

Poltergeist

All of a Kind Family Books 

Michael Jackson (remembered and added 12/31/21)

Child Stars (especially Heather O'Rourke)

V

Disney World  (off and on through out my life starting at around age 10 or 11)

Days of our Lives 

Karate Kid II 

Asian culture/people (maybe bordering on racist/fetish kind of thing)

Cabbage Patch Dolls (remembered and added 1/1/22)

Mario Bros  

Stephen King Books 

Anne Rice books 

Pat Conroy Books 

Dean Koontz Books 

Nightmare on Elm Street (Especially the third movie)

Agnes of God  (added 3/1/22)

Cystic Fibrosis. 

Cruise vacations

Our Ouija Board (and the pretend-friends that went with that) (remembered and added 12/31/21)

The Lost Boys  (Remembered and added 12/31/21)

Born on the 4th of July (added 2/24/22)

Novel Writing 

Born Free (I had an Elsa AOL screenname way before Frozen)

Making collages 

Abnormal Psychology, especially Dissociative Personality Disorder 

Beetlejuice (remembered and added 1/2/22

Judaism

England (especially British people)

Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals

Comparative Religion

Hook

My Girl. (Weeping Willow with your tears falling down. Why do you always weep and frown?)

Scrooged

Saturday Night Live (Edited to add 1/25/22)

J.M. Barrie 

Screenwriting

Primates (especially the Great Apes)

Titanic

Another World 

Neurofibromatosis (much shorter and less intense than Cystic Fibrosis.  But significant, because I wrote a novel and screenplay.  And I've used the title (Thirty Cats) for various screennames, including Instagram, which I'm on a lot).  

Wedding Planning. (hated the dress aspect but obsessed with music, cake, flowers)


An off-white folder that says Disney's Fairytale Weddings with Cinderella's horse-pulled coach.
a folder that shows
a combination of my wedding
and Disney special interest


The X-Files

Seinfeld

Friends.   (Edited to cross-out.  I started having doubts about this one, because I don't remember doing anything outside of watching the show with Tim)

Twelve Monkeys 

Parenting (especially attachment parenting)

Homeschooling

New York (a part of being homesick for where we previously lived)

Making/editing montage videos 

Food  

Nutrition

Weight Loss (This is and previous two all part of my eating disorder)

The Sims 2 (Remembered and added 1/3/22-was also into Sims and Sims 3 at other points but 2 was my favorite)

Eating Disorders (after realizing I actually might have an eating disorder...and all the imposter syndrome that went with that).

Charmed 

Lucid Dreams

Spirituality (especially reincarnation) 

Australia 

The Colbert Show

McLeod's Daughters 

Lost 

Wicked (Added 2/24/22) 

Twilight series 

Harry Potter (Peak year for me was probably 2010-2011.  Prior to that it would come and go with the release of the books.  But 2011 I got involved with role playing activities).

Singing, 

The King's Speech (Remembered and added 12/31/21

The Sing Off (Remembered and added 1/2/22

Modern Family 

The Big Bang Theory (added 3/23/22)

Desperate Housewives

Ugly Betty (added 3/24/22)

Doctor Who

American Horror Story

Minecraft 

The Walking Dead

Narcissism, toxic behavior, psychological manipulation, etc.

The Me Too Movement

Trump and American Politics 

Coronation Street

Game of Thrones (added 2/21/22)

Dark The Netflix series (added 2/21/22)

TV shows in general

Myoclonus and Epilepsy 

Cats (I've often considered cats more of a family member than an actual interest or obsession.  But there was an exception between the time that Max died and Annie found us.  In that time, we went to Japan where I had a strong desire to visit Cat Cafes) 

Covid 19 (and at some points through out the decades a special interest in pandemics in general)

Anti-racism (added 1/3/22) 

Schitt's Creek

St. Louis (this was kind of a budding one...and it was kind of pushed aside by the next one on the list...but now I've gotten a tiny bit back into it.  Maybe)

Autism

Duolingo (remembered and edited to add 12/31/21)

The Characters I'm creating for a novel I will probably never write or I will write and it will be something to add to my list of unpublished and/or unsuccessful writing projects.  (two of the characters live in St. Louis, so it gives me a chance to kindle that special interest) 

Disney vs. Florida Republicans (added 4/22/2022) 



This list is difficult not just because of forgetting things but because it's hard to see somethings as a special interest when I compare them to other things.  

For example, as much as I was into My Girl for a period of time, it's NOTHING compared to how much I was into the Poltergeist movies. 

And yes, I was into X-Files.  But it's nothing compared to how much I was into Lost.  

Although then I question that.  Was I really less into X-Files?  Or is it because there was less ability to obsess via the Internet in those days?  Or has the passage of time led to my forgetting how much I (might have) been into X-Files.

Other special interests seem small, because they are common and many other people are more intense in their fandomship. 

It's easier to feel as if something is a SPECIAL interest when our interest in it is unique.  For example, I don't think being obsessed with Cystic Fibrosis is very common.  Well, it might be more common these days, because it seems the disease has become more often used as a subject in fiction and nonfiction media.  But back when I had it as a special interest....I was quite unique.

I'm thinking, though, that commonality shouldn't disqualify a special interest.  Otherwise, we'd have to cross out trains and dinosaurs from childhood special interests.

Less intensity also shouldn't disqualify, because there will always be people who are more intense than us.

I feel I was probably VERY high up there in terms of having Australia as a special interest.  But that doesn't disqualify other people with a less intense special interest in Australia.  AND...there is probably someone out there who is/was even more obsessed with Australia than me.


The question that lingers in my mind and will probably continue to linger for a long, long time is where do we draw the line between autistic special interests and not-autistic special interests.

A part of the divide would, of course, be having other traits of autism.

I think EVERYONE has had at least one special interest in their life.  Besides the other traits of autism...maybe it's about the amount of special interests and the intensity.  Each special interest doesn't have to be intense.  But maybe it would be expected that there's at least a few that are very intense.  


I think, for fun, I'll make a scoring list for what traits make an interest a SPECIAL interest....aka a potentially autistic special interest.

If you are terrified of being a person with autism, this list might reassure you or terrify you.

If you are wanting to identify as autistic, this list might either reassure you or give you an imposter-syndrome induced meltdown.  


The List

2 points for every time you are distracted from what you're "supposed" to be thinking about or listening to, because you're daydreaming about your interest. 

2 points for every single time you Google the interest or something related.  (yes other search engines count).   Subtract 1 point for each search...if you're searching due to worry or fear. Though I think sometimes fears can become special interests.

5 additional points for every website about your interest that you actually spend time reading 

5 points for each social media account, related to your interest, that you follow

10 points for every book that you read pertaining to the interest. This includes fiction written by an author you're interested in..not including the first book you read by the author.  

10 points for each item you have purchased related to your interest

25 points for every time you rewatch an episode, scene, or see the movie again.  (an additional 20 points if you actually buy theater tickets to see it again or you re-rented it from Blockbusters)

30 points if you watch a show or movie you'd usually have very little interest in solely because an actor or actress from one of your special interest shows/movies is in it.

30 points if you have developed a crush on someone because they are connected to your special interest

40 points  if someone suggested that you talk too much about a special interest

40 points if when you played make-believe with your friends, you insisted the storyline be related to your special interest.  Add 50 additional points if this sentence, for you, should be in present tense rather than past.

40 points if when reading, watching other books/TV shows/movies you were fervently wishing you were watching/reading your interest-thing.

40 points if you have written fiction related to your interest.  Add an additional 10 points if the piece of fiction is a full-length project.  Add an additional 20 points if you've written more than one piece of fiction.  Add 100 points if you've written more than three pieces of fiction related to the interest.  

40 points if you managed to learn something that would normally be too challenging for you. 

40 points if you really want people around you to shut up other things and let you talk about your  interest.  Add 100 additional points if you've had this feeling for more than two days. Add 500 additional points if this has gone on for more than a month.  Add 1000 points if this has gone on for more than three years.

40 points if thinking about your special interest brings you a sense of comfort when you're needing comforting or distraction.

50 points if you have gone to a convention because of your special interest.  Subtract 45 of those points if you went only because your friends went.  Subtract 49 of those points if you went mainly because your romantic partner or interest wanted to go.  

50 points if your interest led you to choosing your college major or minor.

50 points if you have a career related to your interest (Add 100 additional points if having that career didn't end your special interest)

50 points if your interest inspired you to do volunteer work. Add 20 more points for each additional event or project or night you slept away from home because of the volunteer work.

50 points if you've made charity donations related to your special interest.

50 points if your special interest led you to writing a pointed message that got you into trouble

50 points for each time you have not been there for a family member or friend when you should have been there...because of a special interest.  For example, you didn't attend your brother's wedding, because you wanted to be there for the midnight release of a Harry Potter book.  

50 points if your interest led you to doing something that would normally terrify you

50 points if you have an email address or social media screenname related to the interest

50 points if the passion for your interest led to you being arrested.  Add 10 additional points if you were convicted.  Subtract 50 points if you are Black.  Add an additional 50 points if you are convicted and in prison despite being white and upper middle class.  

60 points if there was a golden apple on your 5th grade teacher's desk and you had this very strong wish/fantasy that this apple was magic and would transfer you to the fictional universe of your interest.

60 points if you have a blog, Instagram account, YouTube channel, podcast, etc. that is dedicated to your interest and add 50 extra points for every year that you've had the account, etc.  If you don't have an account specific to the interest, add 5 points for every post or episode you've done about the interest.  

75 points if you kept your interest a secret for awhile either because it was intense, overwhelming, sacred, etc.

75 points if you tried to deter yourself from the interest because the intensity of your feelings scared you or you didn't want to go through THAT again.  

75 points if people skip over the usual small talk conversation topic and ask you about your special interest

75 points if you're not usually socially motivated but if people have a connection to your special interest, you are suddenly motivated to be social with them.

100 points if you have a book related to your special interest that you carry around like a comfort object...or any other item.  Subtract 50 of those points if the item is soft or cuddly (and you're under the age of 12) OR if the object brings you positive attention from others.  

150 points if someone asks if you've been tested for autism when you talk about your interest. Subtract 100 of those points if the person asking you is like me and is currently seeing autism in pretty much everybody.  

200 points if you have gone on trips to places specifically because of your special interest. Add another 50 points for each time you returned to the place.

200 points if you have been interviewed on TV or a podcast to talk about your interest...not about your interest in general but to showcase you as an obsessed person.  Add 50 additional points for each additional times you've been interviewed OR asked to be interviewed.  Add another additional 50 points if it was national TV or a popular program.


Okay...that was a lot of fun making the list.  But I have no idea how to do the silly or fancy math needed to come up with "correct" minimums.  

I'll try.

If anyone doesn't agree with my divisions, please argue with me (politely....or at least without death threats...or at least without gruesome death threats...or if gruesome, please be creative and make it more blood centered than rape centered)

So....How about?

5-50 points - a minor special interest

51-200 points - a major special interest

200-1000 points- a MAJOR MAJOR special interest

more than 1000 points?  Holy shit!!!!

As for autism....

If you have at least one special interest in the holy shit category, I'd read up on the other traits and seriously consider that you might be autistic.

Same goes for those who have at least 2 in the MAJOR MAJOR category.

Or at least 5 in the Major category

Or 30 in the minor category. 

If the label autistic scares you, because you're picturing Dustin Hoffman rambling about the safety of Qantas or the virtues of Kmart underwear, you could take up the alternative labels of Intense, On the Spectrum, Aspie, Living with Intensity, HSP (highly sensitive Person, Crystal Child, Indigo Child, ADHD, etc.

They all pretty much mean the same thing.  


Again, this list is not at all scientific.  But if it's fun for you or helps temporarily relieve you of any imposter syndrome....very cool.  



Edited to add 4/6/2024:  I've come to realize that a lot of what I listed above were NOT special interests. And now I've come up with new categories to describe other types of interests. 

So here we go....

Besides special interests, I've had

A) Stressful interests

B) Hobbies

C) Passing interests

Stressful interests are where I research something, because I seek validation, ammunition for arguments/debates, reassurance, etc.   

Hobbies are things I like to do but I'm not especially interested in them.  I would rather just do them than Google them, watch YouTube videos about it, etc.  

Examples of this for me lately would be playing The Simpsons Tapped Out, feeding wildlife, and taking care of the plants in my backyard. I might Google if I need to know something for practical reasons but not just for the sake of wanting to learn more and having that extreme passionate enjoyment.  

I love playing The Simpsons and have in rare instances Googled to find something out...such as: will planting Triffids end the game?   

If the game was a special interest, I'd probably want to watch videos of other people playing, watch the actual TV show, learn about every voice actor, etc.

Passing interests are when I love something, because I'm currently reading it or watching it...or visiting a place.  I'll get really into it for a short period and then I move on.

Often these feelings are recurring, because we revisit the place or a new season of the show comes out.

An example would be Dark. I loved that show.  And each time we watched a season, I obsessed over it a bit.  I listened to the music on Spotify. I Googled to figure out how the hell each character was connected, etc.  But a few days after watching a season, the interest would fade, and I'd have a new passing interest.  

Now....sometimes there will be some kind of lingering aspect.  For example, I still listen to music from Dark occasionally.  Mostly, because it's still on some of my playlists.  

I've been learning French the past eight years or so. Why?  Because we watched Les Revenants.  My interest in the show soon faded, but the French stayed with me as one of my hobbies.  


I thought it would be easy to go through the list and label most things as NOT special-interests.

It turns out it's not.

The problem is probably due to comparisons.

My special interests in Poltergeist, Cystic Fibrosis, and Australia played such a huge role in my life.  Other things seem small in comparison.  But when I think back carefully, I realize they too were special interests.

The three above were, I guess, my BIG Special interests. Or my Super-Special interests.

Judaism might fit in with the three above.  

Medium to small special interests: Annie, Savanah Smiles, Nightmare on Elm Street, V, Great Apes, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Most of the TV shows and books would be passing interests even those I love a lot such as Doctor Who and Lost.  

Stressful interests: parenting, homeschooling, dreams and spirituality, eating disorders, myoclonus/seizures, narcissism/toxic behavior, autism, the MeToo-Movement, Trump, Covid, anti-racism, Israel

Hobbies: novel-writing, singing, screenwriting, collage-making, making videos, The Sims, Minecraft, Duolingo, dieting/eating, feeding wildlife, gardening, photography, AI art, etc.  


Note: Parenting in itself wasn't a stressful interest.  Though it's extremely stressful (along with extremely wonderful).  But what I'm referring to is the excessive reading of parenting books, websites, magazines, etc. in pursuit of reassuring ourselves that we're not destroying the soul of the tiny person living in our home.  The obsessing over breastfeeding, sleep, nutrition, discipline, education, etc.