Friday, July 10, 2015

Pirates, Compliments, Honesty, and Snow

1. Watched an episode of Pirate Islands: The Lost Treasure of Fiji on my phone. Yesterday I finally downloaded the Hulu App.

2. Felt somewhat bored by Pirate Islands.  I don't think it's going to go down as being one of my favorite Aussie shows.

3. Started watching another episode of Pirate Islands.

4. Realized that Bobby on Home and Away reminds me of Tina on Coronation Street. I don't think they're very much alike in physical appearance, but I think they have similar personalities.

I'm trying to think of a way to describe their personalities—kind of tough, maybe? They're very good to their friends and hard on their enemies.  But even with their friends, Bobby and Tina are the type to refuse to put up with bullshit.

5. Dreamed about an Australian acquaintance.  We used to be friends, but we grew apart. I think this is because she's very socially active and very popular. But then I learn she's actually lonely. She belonged to many clubs, because she was trying to find friends for her and her children. But it never worked out for them. 

6. Found something I wrote in a 2011 blog post  that I might not agree with anymore.

I talk about telling a friend we've gotten a compliment from another friend, and the friend responds by insulting us and/or questioning the other friend's judgement.  My feeling then was that we shouldn't rain on other people's parade.

But now it annoys me when people share compliments given to them by others. It feels like bragging to me—distasteful bragging with the underlying message that someone else likes this about me, so you should like it too.

I think in small degrees it's okay. But when it's excessive, it's annoying.

In my blog, I was referring to a time that I told my Texas friend that one of my Australian friends liked my singing. My Texas friend responded in a bitchy way—something along the lines of suggesting that my Aussie friend was lying.

I think part of my reason for telling the story was to brag. The other purpose was to vent. I had been stressed and bothered by the whole thing, because my Aussie friend seemed very impressed with my singing. I had sung often in the house without Tim ever saying anything positive. So for many years I had been confused. I felt I sang good, but since my husband never validated that, I guessed that I was delusional about my voice. Why wouldn't a spouse say to a talented wife, Wow! You have an amazing voice. I love your singing.

So my friend might not have been trying to insult my friend or my singing but instead might have been trying to defend my husband.

The funny thing is, I'm still confused about the singing thing. Some people seem annoyed by my singing. I've gotten insults from my brother-in-law; and Tim, and my dad has acted bothered by my singing. My Aussie friend, my mom, and my sister have given me compliments. My nieces have given me both insults and compliments; I don't know which is real.

I've whined and bitched to my dad and Tim about singing, and now they act quite supportive. I don't know if that's because they were stingy in the past with genuine compliments and now they're cleaning up their act. Or if they still think I'm awful at singing, but I've pressured them to say otherwise.

7. Felt weird about telling the above story, because I've done what I don't like—shared compliments I've gotten from others. But I've also shared insults. So, since there's a balance, maybe it's okay.

8. Read more of my 2011 blog post about compliments. I still agree with some stuff I said.

My feeling back then was that it's rude to share a compliment as a defense against a criticism. If my Texan friend said, I think you need to work harder on your high notes, it would be tacky to say, Well, my Australian friend thinks I'm a fantastic singer.  

I still agree with my old opinion in that case.

9. Concluded that sharing compliments we receive from others is okay if done in small doses, not used as a defense against criticism, and we don't brag a lot in general.

10. Decided to read Welcome to Normal, a novella by Nick Earls. I downloaded it awhile ago on my Kindle, because it was free.

11. Saw that the story takes place in the US. The protagonist is visiting, though. I'm guessing that he's visiting from Australia.

12. Liked what I've read from the story so far. I think Earls does a good job of describing the excitement of being in a foreign country—one that you've seen in movies and television.

13. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

14. Liked that Nate (Meyne Wyatt) is using binge-watching as treatment for post break-up depression.

I imagine it's a good way to deal with that type of sorrow.

I don't know this from experience, and I haven't read any research on it.

I'm just guessing.

I feel TV show addiction and/or video game addiction is a good way to distract ourselves from difficult and sorrowful times in life.  Really, I think it's about keeping ourselves busy and our mind focused on other things.

This may sound silly, but it also might provide a reason to go on living. We might not feel like being alive anymore, because the person we love most in the world has left us. But then maybe wanting to know if Juliet will end up with Jack or Sawyer will keep us wanting to continue with things.

15. Saw that Nate is also treating his post-break up depression by playing basketball with friends. That's probably helpful too.

16. Saw that Lauren (Kate Kendall) is dealing with husband-just-died depression by getting hugs from her former lover Brad (Kip Gamblin). This is probably NOT the best way to deal with depression.

17. Liked Lauren's advice to Brennan (Scott McGregor). He wants to deal with Matt's death by seeking revenge against Dimato (David Serafin).  Lauren tells him he should concentrate on those he loves rather than concentrating on those he feels anger towards.

I think that's probably the best response to loss via death. We could spend our energy feeling guilty about mistakes we made with the recently deceased, and we can spend our energy on feeling anger towards people who have wronged us and/or wronged the deceased. But in the end, it's probably best to spend our energy on loving the people we still have.

18. Started watching another episode of Pirate Islands.

I think some of the writing on this show is awful.

Maybe I'll think of it as B-movie type awful. Because then it won't seem so...awful.

19. Started watching another episode of Pirate Islands.

20. Read article that says it might snow in Queensland. I thought this was a once in a lifetime type thing. But no. The article says snow and/or sleet happens in Queensland every few years.

21. Learned from Lord Wiki that there was snow in Stanthorpe Queensland in June 2013.

22. Looked up Stanthorpe on Google Maps.  It's two hours south of Brisbane; and a bit over to the west.

Actually, it's three hours west of Byron Bay and just a little bit north of there.

23. Started watching another episode of Neighbours.

24. Felt disgusted with Sharon (Natasha Canning). She kind of reminds me of someone I know. And I actually like this person but not when she does the type of annoying thing that Sharon is doing.

What is Sharon doing?

She has this insistent need to come clean with Lauren about kissing Lauren's recently deceased husband.

Well, to be clear, Sharon kissed him before he became deceased. This isn't a necrophilia storyline.


Sharon and this person I know both A) seem to see themselves as being adorable B) are quite self-absorbed C) Are brutally honest even when it might be better to keep ones mouth shut.

It's like they have foot in the mouth disease except they don't realize or care that they've put their foot in their mouth.

Sometimes this attitude is actually charming—maybe in a Luna Lovegood kind of way. Other times I find it annoying.

25. Wondered if I sometimes act like Sharon and this person I know. I'm guessing I do to some degree.

26. Started to think that maybe I'm as bad as Sharon and this person I know. I'm starting to remember stupid things I've said or things that didn't seem to be well-received.

I was going to say I'm better and different, because I understood I said the wrong thing. But it's not like I spoke up and told the people I realized I said the wrong thing.  How do I know that this person, I know, doesn't also realize she's said the wrong thing. Maybe she too feels awkward about it but doesn't know how to take it back.

27. Felt brutal honesty and awkward confessions and questions can be lovely sometimes.  It really depends on the mood and audience.

But still. It's probably not a good idea to tell a recently widowed woman that you recently kissed her husband.