Costas Mandylor, Invitations, Teresa Palmer, and Opening Titles

1. Had a sudden feeling/idea that I dreamed about Costas Mandylor last night.

I don't remember much, but I think maybe I watched an interview about him, and I was thinking about Saw.

This happens to me sometimes. I remember my dreams and write them down.Then later I'll remember something else.

Although usually I remember the dream in the morning or in the middle of the night, and I simply forget to write it down.

With the Costas Mandylor dream, I didn't remember anything about it until just now.

2. Thought about how yesterday I looked at an article about horror movies in the 2000's. Saw was mentioned, so that's probably why I dreamed about Mandylor.

3. Looked at Mandylor on IMDb, and saw that he has a LOT of projects in 2016 and one in 2017.

He looks very busy.

4. Saw that Mandylor is going to be in a movie with Jim Hanks, Tom Hanks brother. They look very much alike.

We've been watching Tom Hank's son, Colin, in Fargo. He too has a strong resemblance to his father.

5. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

John (Shane Withington) and Marilyn (Emily Symons) are telling Jett (Will McDonald) that they plan to move with him to military school.

Well, they're not going to go to school with him, but they'll live nearby.

I'm wondering how Jett's going to feel about that. Grateful?  Suffocated?

He was sad about leaving them, but maybe that was an act.

Sometimes it's nice to have family nearby, and sometimes it's not.

Although on the days I feel annoyed and suffocated, I do sometimes wonder if being geographically distant would make any different. There'd still be email and texts. There would still be pressure to attend family gatherings, except then it would involve a long drive or an airplane ride.

6. Wondered.

If we did move to Australia back when I wanted to move, how often would we be pressured to return?

In my plans, we'd come back once a year for Thanksgiving and the other winter holidays; and then we'd also come back for big things like Bat Mitzvahs.  But I have a feeling there'd be pressure for us to attend regular birthday parties, extracurricular performances, charity walks, and other small events.
Now to be fair, by pressure, I just mean an invitation. For me, an invitation IS pressure because I don't know how people are secretly feeling or reacting to my no. I don't know if the message behind the invitation is, We'd like you to come, but no hard feelings if you don't. OR is it, You should come. If you opt out, you better have a damn good excuse.  And whether you have an excuse or not, we're going to hold a secret grudge and bitch about you behind your back.

7. Liked that Hannah's (Cassie Howarth) bikini top and bottom don't match.  

I really love outfits like that.

8. Saw that Matt (Alec Snow) is hurt that he wasn't personally invited to Leah (Ada Nicodemou) and Zac's (Charlie Clausen) engagement party.

Here's the problem.

I can relate to those feelings as well.

It's a lose-lose situation.

Being invited to things gives me anxiety but NOT being invited hurts my feelings.

That being said, it's rare that I'm not invited to things.

No, I'm not trying to say I'm super popular. Everyone invites me to EVERYTHING.

I'm just saying that within my family, it is very rare that I hear of a family thing I'd like to attend, but I haven't received an invitation. In fact, I can't remember a time that it's happened.

The only thing I can VAGUELY remember is an incident with Tim and his friend Tabitha. It was something like they made plans in front of me to do something. I think it involved hanging out in the pool.  I think they talked about it with Jack but didn't ask me to come along. Or something like that. As I said, the memories are vague.  I was also hypersensitive at that time in my life, particularly when it came to Tim and Tabitha, so that's probably why I felt hurt when not specifically included.

In situations like that, it's hard to know if it's simply assumed by the others you're going to be included, or if you've been neglected.

On Home and Away, Matt feels neglected, but in reality, it was just assumed he'd be included.

9. Thought of things I've seen where it definitely seems like neglect.

I'll give a fictional example.

Let's say Shelly, Amber, and Wanda are together.  They're all sitting at the pool, dangling their feet in the water. Then Wanda says, Hey Shelly. Let's go inside and play Mario Bros. 

It seems extremely likely that Wanda is either purposely or accidentally neglecting Amber. Either way, it's awful.

10. Thought about how, although I'm not often left out of family events, I am sometimes left out of family news. That's actually kind of happening now.

I'm not really hurt. But I'm left wondering, are they not telling me because they're secretly mad? Or at they not telling me simply because they assume I'll hear it from someone else....which I did.

OR they could just be busy with the news and not keeping track of who they've told and not told.

11. Saw that a new character is being introduced today—Charlotte (Erika Heynatz).

It's funny, because, very recently, I saw Charlotte mentioned. She's involved in the big spoiler I saw about Denny (Jessica Grace Smith).

12. Thought that Erika Heynatz looks a bit like Natasha Henstridge.

13. Finished watching the episode.

14. Started watching the rest of Kill Me Three Times.

15. Started to dislike this movie less than I expected to.

I don't like it, really. But I also don't feel it's complete crap.

I find it mildly entertaining and interesting.

16. Started to like the movie a little bit.

It's kind of clever.  It's pretty much about people having evil/criminal schemes, and they're interfering with other people's evil/criminal schemes.

17. Saw Teresa Palmer and Simon Pegg in a scene together; then I realized that I've seen both of them in zombie films.

Actually, besides this movie, the only full movies I've watched of them are zombie films.

I saw Pegg in Sean of the Dead, and Palmer in Warm Bodies.

18. Looked at Palmer's filmography and saw that, like Costas Mandylor, her career has been very active lately.

I look at the IMDb app on my phone everyday.  They have the top 100 most popular stars (according to IMDB user interest).  Palmer is one of three Australian women that's on the list. The other two are Alycia Debnam Carey and Margot Robbie.

There might be another one or two that I've forgotten. Well...and also the list changes everyday. Or the list has the POTENTIAL to change everyday. I've been looking at it for the past few weeks, and usually the same people are on the list.

19. Saw that Palmer does not have a Home and Away, Neighbours, or Jonathan-Shiff-teen-show background.

I think that's kind of rare.

20.  Saw that Palmer is one of the stars of Mel Gibson's upcoming World War II movie.  It's called Hacksaw Ridge, and has many Aussie actors—Hugo Weaving, Rachel Griffiths, Richard Roxburgh, Ryan Corr, Firass Dirani, Ben Mingay, and probably others.

21. Saw that I missed Luke Bracey.  He's the one I mentioned the other day—the one from Point Break.

By the way, Teresa Palmer is in Point Break as well.

22. Thought back to when I was a teenager and loved slasher films.

I think a part of that me is still alive, because I'm kind of enjoying all the blood in this movie.

There's lots of it.

The thing is, though, I didn't think I liked the blood and violence of slasher films. I liked the characters and storylines. But maybe that's like the people who say they read Playboy for the articles.

Well, I think YOU can like the storylines and characters of horror films and the articles in Playboy.

23. Didn't think I'm a huge fan of violence.

Well, and it's not like I'm totally loving all the blood in this film. I'm not watching it in some kind of state of ecstasy.

One thing is, it's not very gruesome. There are no organs falling out of people. It's mostly blood gushing everywhere. Lots of blood! It's more Halloween party than than gritty, depressing realism.

24. Finished watching the movie.

I liked it in the end.

It was kind of fun.

25. Went to Random.org to pick my next thing to watch.

It's Felony, starring that guy from The Secret Life of Us.

I forgot his name.

26. Used IMDb to get his name.

Joel Edgerton!

The movie is listed as being American-Australian.

I'm not sure what's American about it.

The director is Matthew Saville. He's Australian, or at least he's done a ton of work in Australia. He's the director of Please Like Me and the miniseries Cloudstreet. He's also directed episodes of The Slap, The Secret Life of Us, Tangle, and other stuff.

Joel Edgerton wrote the screenplay.

27. Googled one of the production companies involved in the film—Benaroya.  It's listed as being in Los Angeles. So that might be why it's considered part American.

The company is owned by Michael Beneroya, who is producing an upcoming adaptation to Stephen King's Cell.

28. Saw that another one of the production companies involved with the film is Goalpost Pictures.  They're involved with the upcoming Aussie science fiction show Cleverman. I saw an article about that yesterday.  It looks pretty exciting.

 29. Started to look at the cast.

The Australian actors that are familar to me: Jai Courtney, John Brumpton, Tracy Mann, Melissa George,  and Vanessa Downing.

I actually don't really know who John Brumpton is. I've seen him at least once in IMDb credits, but when I'm watching the show/movie, I don't know which person is him.

I'm pretty sure he was in the cast list of Killing Time.

30. Saw Brumpton was in many episodes of Killing Time.

I have no idea who he was.

31. Saw that Brumpton was in the first season of Tangle.

I don't remember him in that.

32. Saw that the music for Felony was done by Bryony Marks, the woman who did the music for Tangle.

As I've mentioned before, we recently watched 11:22:63.  The opening credits for that reminded me somewhat of the opening credits for Tangle—both the music and graphics.

33. Saw that someone has uploaded the opening credits of Tangle to YouTube.  

And here's the 11:22:63 one.

I love both of them.

34. Looked at Tangle on IMDb to see if they list the creators of the opening titles.

They do.

It's two people—Andy Canny and Donna McCrum.

Canny is usually an editor. McCrum has done other title designs—The Slap, and the movie Paper Planes.

35. Saw that Canny was an editor for The Slap.

36. Saw that I'm stupid.

I didn't look closely enough.

I looked only at Canny's first IMDb category, which is editing.

I just scrolled down and saw that he HAS done other title-designing stuff.  Like McCrum, he also did the opening titles for The Slap and Paper Planes.

37. Saw that Canny and McCrum wrote and directed a documentary together called Sistagirl.

It's about a transgender community in the Tiwi Islands.

38. Started to read an article about the Sistagirls.

The documentary is about a photographer visiting the Sistagirls.

So documentary filmmakers followed a photographer who followed some transgender people.

Was anyone around documenting/following the filmmakers?

39.  Learned that there are around fifty transgender people living in the Tiwi islands. Or there are fifty women who were originally men.  I'm not sure if there are men who were originally female. Well, I'm sure there are, but I don't think they're part of the Sistagirls.

40. Tried to remember how I got from Felony to McCrum and Canny.

I guess I'll see when I proofread later.

41. Googled Andy Canny and Donna McCrum, and came across a company called Plus Films.

42. Remembered how I got onto the subject of McCrum and Canny.

My mind really jumps around a lot, sometimes.

43. Saw that Plus Films has projects that I didn't see on McCrum's or Canny's filmographies, so I'm guessing they have other people working for them.

But yeah.

There's Offspring, Puberty Blues, Wonderland, and other things.

44. Saw you can watch their work on the site.

I watched some of Offspring's credits.  Like Tangle, it's very creative.

It gave me some Proudman family love-tingles.

45. Watched their Puberty Blues sample.

It's very plane. There's just a wave.  I'm guessing there's more to it?  I don't remember it being so...nothing.

Maybe Plus Films only did the background graphic, so that's all they're displaying.

46. Watched some of the Puberty Blues credits on YouTube.

The only thing missing from the Plus Films sample is the credits/names.

I think it makes a difference.

47.  Started to watch the Wonderland credits.

That might be my all time favorite when it comes to Aussie credits, because I LOVE the song.

48. Watched the opening titles for a film called The Turning.  It has some interesting sand effects.

49. Watched the opening titles for The Slap.

It's impressive.

50. Had a homeschooling idea.

One of the classes we struggle with is art. Jack's not a big art history or art museum person. Neither am I.  I do think it's important that people know at least a little bit about the classics. But I want to push the idea that visual art doesn't have to be all about old paintings and sculptures.  It can be architecture, fashion, graphic design, interior design, animation, book illustrations, etc.

Now I'm thinking movie and TV titles are great examples of art as well.  Maybe we can watch and learn a little bit about that.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Bus Money, Hannah's Secret, Categorizing Villains, and Being Indecisive

1. Dreamed about going to Australia.

It's our last day in Australia.  I'm feeling sad about that, which I find sort of funny, because we hadn't even planned on taking this trip.  

The apartment we've been staying at is away from the place I like being, and we have no plans to go back. I don't feel right about asking Tim to take us there. But then I realize something.  I can take the bus and go on my own.  

I talk to Tim about what I'll need on the bus and figure I just need correct change.

I then go out to the bus stop. The bus arrives, and then I realize I don't have the correct change.  

I think of going into the apartment to get it. Then I notice that the line I'm seeing is really two lines. Some people are trying to get on the bus, and others are in line, at a store, to get change. I figure I can go in that line and get change too.  But then I realize the paper money I have in my pocket is American money. That's not going to do me much good.

I go into our apartment building. There's a problem, though. I don't remember which apartment is ours. I do have a feeling it's not on the first floor, so I climb the stairs to the second.  I know which side our apartment is on, but I don't know which door is ours.  I peer through windows a bit which is embarrassing, because there are other people around.

Later, there was a connected dream about Ita Buttrose. Instead of having a blog where I can write my feelings about her....I have some kind of small space on a board. There's someone next to me writing on a space next to mine. I think and talk about my feelings regarding Buttrose. I say she's a feminist but not one who uses offensive means to get her point across. I say she's provocative and then something else, but I can't think of the right word. Then I think of it. It's compassionate. I feel Buttrose is both provocative and compassionate. The person I'm talking to is quiet, almost like they don't agree. But it's hard for me to tell. I explain that these are just the feelings I got from the miniseries.

I move away from my writing board for awhile. When I return, I see the small space, I had left, has been taken over by someone who's written some kind of disclaimer about our trip. It's explaining why we didn't do something in Australia, (or why something wasn't done for us?).  This information has been written before, and I erased it. Now I erase it again. I'm annoyed, because it's taken up my space, and I also feel the the information they posted doesn't need to be public knowledge.  

2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

3. Had conflicting thoughts about the Evie (Philippa Northeast) and Hannah (Cassie Howarth) stuff.

Evie insists that Hannah come clean about cheating on Andy (Tai Hara). She threatens Hannah. Either tell Andy, or she's going to do it for her.

There's a part of me that thinks this is none of Evie's business, and she should stay out of it.

But then another part of me thinks about the secret thing I wrote about in a recent post. Is it fair of Hannah to force Evie to keep such a big secret?  Andy lives in the house with them and keeping such a secret is very stressful for Evie.

On the OTHER hand, Hannah didn't choose to tell Evie. Evie overheard the conversation. She was given the secret accidentally. I think that makes a big difference. It's not like Hannah is in an ongoing relationship with another man, throwing it in Evie's face, and then insisting that she not tell Andy.

4. Finished watching the episode.

5. Started to watch the last episode of Killing Time.

I've not gotten far...Internet problems again.

Or actually, it's a Hulu problem. The rest of my Internet is working okay.

6. Relieved to see it working.

I just had to reload.

7. Glad to see that Andrew managed to listen to his wife's break-up speech without responding in a melodramatic or manipulative way.

8.  Saw that Andrew hasn't lost his manipulative ways.

He's trying to strike a deal where if he's released, he'll give homicide evidence against a prisoner.

That's understandable.

But then when Andrew talks to the detective, he talks about how the prisoners are going to kill him if they know he's been talking to the police. And yeah. That's true. But then he adds, My family needs me.

I'm sure his family would be sad if he died. But needing him? I don't think so.  I think they've been relatively okay while he's in prison.  Before prison, I don't think he was contributing much to the family.  He was so often high on cocaine.  I think he caused his family a lot of stress and unhappiness. Do they really need more of that?

9. Saw that Fraser is free from prison, but he's not completely free.

He has a lot of rules to follow. For example, no alcohol can be consumed by him, or anyone else, in his house.

Also, he has to get permission before having any overnight guests.

10. Saw that Andrew Fraser gets around the alcohol thing by bringing a bottle of wine to his ex's house.

He wants to celebrate. He says, I bloody well made it. He acts like he ran a cross country marathon, or something.

Poor Denise.She's been through so much with her husband's cocaine addiction.

Now Andrew pushes her to celebrate with the intake of yet another drug.

Yes, it's a legal drug. But still. I don't personally feel there's much of a difference.

11.Impressed with how Denise treats Andrew throughout the episode.

She's firm with him but also kind.

12. Started to watch a promotional video about Killing Time with the real Andrew Fraser.

So, he was involved with the series.

That tells me he's matured enough to realize his mistakes, because the series did put him in a negative light.  He wasn't presented as a very sympathetic character.

13. Finished watching the video. It showcased the house where the Pettingill family lived.

14. Started to watch another promotional video. This one has David Wenham talking about Fraser.

Wenham says Fraser is very honest and fully supportive of the project.

I think that's very brave of him. It shows that he probably did have a major transformation and is no longer very manipulative and narcissistic.

15. Learned that Wenham didn't meet Fraser initially, because he worried getting close to him would affect his performance too much.

That makes sense to me.

16. Learned that Wenham and Glenn met the real Andrew and Denise about four weeks into filming.

17. Wondered if Andrew and Denise ever got back together.

18. Wenham talks about love and respect between Andrew and Denise, so if they didn't get back together, they at least remained friends.

19. Started to watch a third promotional video for Killing Time. This one is a short interview with Andrew Fraser.

20. Started to watch another interview with Wenham.

21. Learned that Wenham read Andrew Fraser's books...I guess before filming began.

I'm not sure when, really. But I like that he did research.

22. Went to Random.org to pick my next thing to watch.

It's Kill Me Three Times, starring Simon Pegg.

Pegg is British. But I guess the movie has some kind of Australia connection, because besides Doctor Who, everything on my list is Australian in some way.

23. Went to Kill Me Three Times on IMDb.

It's listed as being from the U.S and Australia.  It was filmed in Perth and in other areas of Western Australia.

24. Saw that Kriv Stenders, the director of the movie, also directed the movie Red Dog.

And there's a Red Dog prequel in the works.

25. Searched for Red Dog on Netflix, and ended up with Clifford the big red dog.

26. Examined the cast list of Kill Me Three Times to find the Australians that are familiar to me.

There's Teresa Palmer, Sullivan Stapleton, Luke Hemsworth, Callan Mulvey, Bryan Brown, and...

No, Daniel Webber. I'm kind of disappointed about that.

Now I'm hoping to see Daniel Webber everywhere.

Although I probably want to see Webber specifically as Oswald. I think I'm in love with that particular performance.

I didn't have much Webber love when I saw him on Home and Away and Sleeping Beauty.

27. Felt sort of excited about seeing Kill Me Three Times despite the lack of Daniel Webber.

I like the other actors.

I loved Simon Pegg in the zombie movie.

That was him, right?

And what was the name of that movie? My mind has gone blank. Well, not my whole mind but the part that holds the name of the zombie movie.

28. Looked at Simon Pegg's filmography.

The movie is Sean of the Dead.

29. Saw that Simon Pegg is going to star with Ben Mendelsohn in Ready Player One.

I think Mendelsohn might become a big star in our family, because he's in that movie AND he's going to be in the next Star Wars movie.  Tim and Jack are really into Star Wars, and Jack and I both loved the Ready Player One book.

30. Looked at the plot of Kill Me Three Times.

Like Fargo, it involves a hit man.

We're on the third episode of Fargo. I had doubts about liking it when we watched the first and second episode. I'm not a big fan of hitman stories, and I don't usually like crime-comedy.

The show is growing on me, though.

I do have some doubts about liking Kill Me Three Times.

If I'm understanding things right, the protagonist is a hitman. I like sympathetic protagonists, and I'm not sure I'll be able to see a hitman as sympathetic.

Well...I guess it's possible.

I liked Webber's Oswald, and he was an assassin.

31. Thought about Fargo.

I don't like the hitman in that, but my dislike might be less about him murdering people and more about him being a prick about it.

There's another guy in Fargo that has killed two people, and he's a sympathetic character.

32. Wanted to say that I don't actually condone murder. It's not something I support. I think it's a very shitty thing.

HOWEVER, I think decent people can be driven to murder.

33. Remembered that having sympathy for characters is a subjective thing. I might have sympathy for a homicidal character that someone else doesn't have any sympathy for. Then they might have sympathy for a character that I don't have sympathy for.

I don't have sympathy for the hitman on Fargo, because I think he's an ass and totally up himself. Someone else might like or relate to someone with that kind of attitude. They might see him as a sympathetic character.

34. Thought maybe characters can be divided into three groups a) sympathetic b) pathetic c) downright hateful.

For me, Webber's Oswald was sympathetic. His Home and Away stalker character was pathetic.

I think for hateful, I'd probably put Dolores Umbridge on the top of the list. Although even with her, there were times I felt bad for her.  But still...she was pretty damn hateful.

35. Started to think the divisions probably won't work for me.

I'm so bad at making divisions that are cut and dry.

I thought of Voldemort. I think he's hateful, but at times I found him to be sympathetic.

36. Decided I'm going to change my categories to sympathetic and pathetic, and leave out hateful.

Also, I guess it would only apply to the villains.  

I think all villains are hateful (to different degrees) but then some are pathetic and some are sympathetic.

37. Decided the divisions still don't work.

I'm thinking of Bates Motel.  When he's not being a scary murderer, sometimes Norman is quite sympathetic, and other times he's really pathetic.

38. Thought that sometimes I'M a pathetic villain, one of my crime beings that I too often try to divide people and their behaviors into categories.

39. Thought about all this while making and eating dinner.

Instead of putting a stop to the categories in my head, I added some.

Now I have four ways of seeing a villain. A) Sympathetic B) Pathetic C) Admirable D) Despicable.

I think most villains are going to elicit all four of those feelings in us, but I think we each will have a primary feeling towards a character.

As for admirable, an example for me there would be Hannibal Lector. Yeah. He's a serial killer, and I'm not into that hobby. Nor am I into people who have that hobby.  But I do admire Lector for his intelligence, humor, and charm...well, at least when he's portrayed by Anthony Hopkins.

40. Wondered how I will see Pegg's Hitman in Kill Me Twice. In order for me to like the movie, I think I'll have to see him as either sympathetic or admirable. I have doubts that I could like a movie with a despicable or very pathetic protagonist

41. Wanted to explain more about the difference between sympathetic, pathetic, and admirable.

Note: I'm doing this NOT to enlighten anyone with my bullshit but to try to get it straight in my own head.

So...

A sympathetic character is one we can relate to, and/or one we can imagine being friends with if it weren't for their crimes.

A pathetic character is the person we'd sit next to in the lunchroom, not because we like them, but no one else is sitting there, and we feel bad.

An admirable character is one we'd think is cool...if it weren't for their crime. They're the ones we fantasize about sitting with in the lunch room, but we wouldn't dare, because we're so beneath them.

Despicable?  That's the person in the lunchroom to whom we want to say.  Just go away. I hate you! And then we spit in their face.

 42. Tried to figure out where I'd put Andrew Fraser from Killing Time...back before he had his transformation.

It definitely wouldn't be sympathetic or admirable.

That leaves me with pathetic and despicable.

I feel compelled to choose one or the other. But I can't.

I really feel a mixture of both. That shatters my theory of people being able to put a character into one main box.

I don't have a main box for Fraser.

43. Thought more about our maybe-Australia trip.

There are things that are making me want to say yes, and things that are making me want to drop the whole thing.

On the yes side: I am now remembering that, although I said the next time we'd go to Australia would be 2022, I did say that I'd go earlier if the dollar went down a lot. It definitely has!

I don't even think I considered there being plane tickets this cheap.

Also, Tim seems pleased with the idea. Though I got this from text, and it's easy to hide emotions on texts. In reality, he could be slapping his forehead with his palm and thinking, Really? Australia? Again?  

I'm joking. That's probably not what happened. I think Tim would be excited to learn we might be going anywhere where the focus isn't a Disney park. Although...Tokyo Disney IS on his birthday trip agenda.

On the negative side: I can see it's going to be a struggle to decide where to go.

My first choice was Brisbane and maybe Melbourne. I kind of considered skipping Sydney all together.

Jack wants Sydney.That makes me feel kind of guilty, because I was the one who used to be so in love with Sydney.

I do still love Sydney, but I want to try something new. Or at least with Melbourne, I feel we've seen less of it.  We've been there once, versus with Sydney, we've been there three times already.

Also, I'm pretty sure Tim wouldn't be happy to go all the way to Australia and just go to Sydney.

The good news is, from what I understood of the flight, you get one free stopover. So we might be able to do Sydney and Melbourne or Sydney and Brisbane.

What I fear though is we're going to start adding things on. Well, since we're there, we might as well go to Sydney, Melbourne, AND Brisbane. While we're at it, why not add Broome as well?

If we go to Australia this year, I want it to be cheap and simple. I don't want it expensive and elaborate. I'll save that trip for when I'm fifty.

43. Played around on Delta.  It's around six hundred dollars to go to Sydney. When I tried to add Brisbane, the price jumped up a lot.

But maybe it's one of those deals where you have to call rather than rely on the website.

44. Played around more, and got sick of the whole thing.

I'm afraid it's going to be a crappy flight with a lack of decent entertainment, and no outlets for charging all our stuff.

I really hate flying.

45. Had more doubts.

The last time we went to Australia, the way back was so incredibly exhausting.  I remember being so tired after taking the flight from Sydney to LAX, and hating the fact that we had to then take another flight to DFW.

If we do this Delta deal, we will have yet ANOTHER stop off. We'll have to go from Sydney to Los Angeles; then Los Angeles to San Francisco, and then San Francisco to DFW.

I think I'd rather wait the few years and take the Qantas flight straight from DFW to Sydney.

46. Thought the deal would be better if we lived in San Francisco.

47. Talked to Tim and told him I changed my mind about maybe going to Australia.

Here's the thing.

I might have six or more years ahead of me where I'm not in Australia.

That's sad.

However, some of my nights during those years will include lovely dreams about Australia.  And most of the days will include Australian TV shows, movies, music, books, etc.

I'm content with that.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

The Popularity of Waleed Aly, Terra Nova, K9, and More Red

1. Dreamed that, I have a large bag of cocaine in my possession. I don't plan to use it. I talk to Tim about it. He says once you try cocaine, your body needs to have a little bit of it each day. I then worry that I'm accidentally going to ingest some.  

I'm sure that was inspired by Killing Time. 

2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

3. Saw Kat (Pia Miller) and Nate (Kyle Prior) arguing about the public marriage proposal.  

Nate thinks Leah (Ada Nicodemou) was wrong in saying no, because she embarrassed Zac (Charlie Clausen). Kat thinks Nate is wrong for thinking a woman should say yes to a man just to save him from embarrassment.

The conversation made me realize something.

I've been annoyed at Home and Away for having these annoying public proposals. But now I'm thinking maybe the show is actually taking a stand against them.  Because twice they've resulted in a no.

4. Sickened by an editorial I just read. It's about accusations that Waleed Aly isn't popular enough to win a Gold Logie.  

I'm trying to understand it. 

5. Started to reread the editorial, and I'm even more disgusted.

First, some background information.

Like America's Oscars, the Logies tend to favor white people.

But UNLIKE the Oscars, this years Logies actually showed some ethnic diversity.  

This year, two out of the six nominees are not of white-European heritage: Waleed Aly has an Egyptian background, and Lee Lin Chin was born in Indonesia.

The editorial says that on the Today Show, three of the hosts dressed up in white face and chatted about why one of the hosts, Lisa, hadn't been nominated. The answer? She's too white. Lisa then said,  I got a spray tan and everything, still didn’t make it.What can you do?  

I'm trying to give these people the benefit of the doubt here. MAYBE they were going for irony. But it's hard for me to believe that.

It really does seem like they're complaining about nonwhite people being nominated.Yes, there's humor, but it seems like the kind of humor that's used to hide real anger or annoyance.

But it gets worse.

Apparently, there was an editorial where someone listed why Waleed Aly shouldn't have been nominated. One of the reasons? He's not popular enough.

WTF?

I don't have statistics. But I feel like almost every time I go on Twitter, Waleed Aly is trending.

I've heard of him more than I've heard of some of the other nominees. Grant Denyer? Scott Cam?  I'm not familiar with those guys. Granted. I've here in the U.S.  If I was in Australia, maybe I would have heard of them.

6. Went to read the anti-Aly-nomination editorial.

7. Bewildered by these lines in the article. Aly’s biased — but that’s not exactly his fault. One minute, Aly’s professing journalistic neutrality, such as when he interviews Shane Warne about his charity foundation, and the next, he’s editorialising about terrorism. Granted, that’s an academic speciality of his, but in the mix of current affairs, panel show and interviews that make up The Project, Aly’s role is a bit unclear.

Again. WTF????!!!

First of all, since when does being biased have anything to do with one's level of popularity?

Have you seen Alyssa Milano's Twitter account? She's very biased, and she's also very popular. She has millions of followers.

What popular person out there isn't biased?

Second, what's with the line about Aly's bias not being exactly his fault? What does that mean?  It sounds like he has some kind of medical condition we need to take in account. Oh, poor Waleed Aly. He has a bias. He's not completely objective like the rest of us.  

8. Saw that one of the reasons why Aly shouldn't have been nominated is diversity should be the norm.

So, we should refrain from having Aly as a nominee until we get more nonwhite people on television?

9. Went back to watching the episode of Home and Away.

Suddenly, there's a major spark between Phoebe (Isabella Giovinazzo) and Ash (George Mason).

It feels like it came out of nowhere. There was a playful sports bet, flirting, and then that led to skinny dipping.  Late they accidentally fell on top of each other and had that look of romantic confusion. All of this happened in one episode.

10. Thought that maybe there was a build up to all this, and I didn't notice it.

11. Decided to add Terra Nova to my to-watch list. I don't know why I didn't add it before.  It's part Australian. It was filmed in Australia and has some Australian actors.

The reason I'm wanting to add it now, though, is one of the writers is Travis Fickett. He's the creator of my current favorite show, 12 Monkeys.

12. Saw that there are TWO Terra Nova writers that are 12 Monkey creators. It's Travis Fickett AND Terry Matalas.

13. Saw that Tai Hara from Home and Away appears in two episodes of Terra Nova.

14. Wondered if there were any Australians in the crew.  I checked a few of the writers and directors and didn't see anything.  But there could be some Aussies in there somewhere.

15. Looked at random people in the credits. It looked like most are NOT Australian.

Then I found Louise Coulston in the make-up department. Based on her filmography, I'd guess she's Australian.  She did make-up for Paper Giants: Magazine Wars, Rush, Scooter Secret Agent, and some other Aussie things.

16. Found another Australian in the make-up/hair department—Karen Adcock.  She did work for The Elephant Princess and H20: Just Add Water, along with some other things.

17. Got the idea that all or most of the make-up/hair department is Australian.

Simon Joseph was the make-up artist for the later seasons of Packed to the Rafters.

Sharon Robbins helped with H20.

Gail Kane did hair and make-up for Camp, another American show filmed in Australia.

18. Saw that some of the stunt workers are Australian.

19. Saw that some of the costume people are Australian.

20. Saw that the caterer of Terra Nova, Loretta Kindness, also did the catering for K-9.  I ran into that show recently when I was learning about Daniel Webber.  I'm seeing now that the show was filmed in Australia.

21. Started to look at the cast of K-9.

Are there many Australians besides Webber?

So far, I've found Keegan Joyce from Rake.

22. Guessed that Philippa Coulthard is Australian.  She's been in some Aussie things, including Lightning Point, which also starred Lucy Fry. Fry starred with Webber in 11:22:63.

23. Saw that there are many Australians in the cast of K-9. I think most of the cast, actually.

24. Thought I should mention that K-9 is a Doctor Who spin-off.

I wonder if it takes place in Australia. Or is it just filmed there?

25. Excited to see the K9 is available on Hulu!

I wasn't expecting it to be, but I decided to check.

I'll definitely have to add that show to my list as well.

26. Felt overwhelmed by my list.

There's so much I want to see.

27. Started to watch an episode of Killing Time.

28. Continued to be preoccupied with the actors' skin and eyes on this show.

I keep seeing redness.

For example, in the scene I'm watching now, David Wenham has one very red ear.

His other ear is much less red.

29. Pleased to see that Nicholas Bell is in this episode.

I'll have to see if he has redness as well.

30. Didn't see any unusual amount of redness on Bell's face.

31. Saw that John Wood, the actor who plays Alan Bond, has redness on his face. It looks like a rash.

32. Wanted to say that I wouldn't usually point out the skin conditions of actors. It's just that on this show, it's so rampant.  It's like there was some kind of communicable illness that was passing around.

33. Wondered if David Wenham usually has the red eyes he has on Killing Time.

It's not something I've noticed before.

Could it be make-up and something to do with the cocaine use?

Is red eyes a symptom?

34. Found a website with signs of cocaine use.  Red eyes isn't listed.

35. Googled red eyes and cocaine. This website mentions blood shot eyes. I don't think that's what I'm seeing with Wenham.

I'm not sure, though.

I think of blood shot as redness in the whiteness of the eyes. With Wenham, it's more redness in the bottom bits.  I don't know the name of it, but it's where you'd put eyeliner.

It reminds me a bit of vampire make-up.  I think maybe the True Blood cast had eyes like that?

36. Looked at pictures of Wenham.  I'm seeing a few that have some pinkish in the eye area.

Even on Killing Time, he doesn't always have the red-pink eyes—just some of the time.

37. Saw redness now on Nicholas Bell.

Maybe it's just something universal to white people, and I never noticed it before.

38. Decided to watch some other videos and see if there's a lot of skin redness.

39. Had an idea.

If there IS more redness on Killing Time than most shows, it might not be because of make-up. It might be about there being less make-up.  Maybe the skin of us white people usually has red blotches, but on film and television, the redness is covered up with make-up.

Maybe Killing Time was going for a gritty realism approach, and so they used less make-up.

40. Decided to look at the skin of people on 12 Monkeys...just because I love it, and am going to grab any chance to watch a bit of it.

41. Saw a little redness but not as much as with Killing Time.

The make-up does look heavier. I think I'm on to something here.

42. Started to see more redness in 12 Monkeys.

Maybe I'm just noticing something I didn't notice before.

Tonight we're going to watch Fargo. I'll try to remember to look out for redness on that.

43. Watched a scene with very classical manipulation.

Denise Fraser (Diana Glenn) surprises her husband Andrew (Wenham) in Perth. He's been working there while she's home with their children in Melbourne.

Andrew is obviously not excited to see his wife, though he TRIES to fake it. I think the main reason is he has a lot to hide.  His hotel room is a huge mess from wild partying.

The Frasers go out for breakfast where the waitress is a bit flirtatious. Then some other woman comes up to the table and kisses Fraser on the lips. She doesn't know his wife is sitting there...or she doesn't care.

Denise kept her cool when seeing the remnants of the party, but she loses it at the restaurant.

Instead of being apologetic and acting ashamed, Andrew goes on the defense.

Some quotes from him:

Denise, I'm doing this for us.

I'm working my ass off.

Just understand I'm working.

Well, a little bit of faith wouldn't go astray.

What Fraser does is take a wife that's reasonably angry for reasonable reasons and tries to make her seem unreasonable.

If Fraser's manipulations worked, Denise might begin to see herself as a bitchy bunny boiler who doesn't support her husband, doesn't have faith in him, and isn't grateful for how hard he works.

What Denise IS, is a woman with a cocaine-addicted husband who has wild parties in Perth while she's at home taking care of their two young children.

44. Remembered reading something in George K. Simon's manipulation writings where he talks about the manipulative person using the tactic of saying, Okay, okay. 

Andrew Fraser says a lot of okays in the scene.

Simon says, When a person is determined to have his way but is not gaining sway with you because you’ve dared to call them on their aggression and you’re holding your own ground, they might feign the willingness to back-down, back-off, or accede to your call for change. This “okay, okay!” tactic is the disturbed character’s attempt to get you off their back by insinuating that they understand what you are asking and are willing to accede to it while they actually have no intention of changing their stance.

I think that's what Fraser was doing.

To me, it seems similar to when someone says something like, Alright! I'm sorry!  

These statements are really just code for,  Drop the subject. Leave me alone.

45. Saw Andrew Fraser being very dishonest.

Denise wanted him to come home. He wouldn't do that for her.

Then he lost the case with Alan Bond, didn't get paid, and was sent home. Instead of being honest about all that, Fraser acts like he made the CHOICE to come home to her. He acts like he chose his family over his job, which is not true.

I personally feel that's another trait of manipulative people. They'll have ulterior motives or reasons for the nice things they do. For example, a husband might tell his wife he's staying home from work because she has the flu and he wants to take care of her. She thinks it's really sweet of him, but then she learns he really stayed home because he wanted to catch up on his Breaking Bad binge watching.

Another example: A woman calls her sister and gives a whole speech about how she thinks the two of them should spend more time together.  The truth is all her so-called friends are having a party, and she wasn't invited.

I think an honest person would just call her sister up and moan about feeling abandoned by her friends. Then she might suggest that she and her sister go out together.

A more honest husband might say something like, Hey, I need a break from work, and I'm dying to catch up on Breaking Bad.  I'm going to stay home. That way I can also be there if you need anything.

46. Loved these lines from Liane Moriarty's Big Little Lies. As Jane looked around her, she felt that dissatisfied feeling she often experienced when she was somewhere new and lovely. She couldn't quite articulate it except with the words If only I were here. This little beachside cafe was so exquisite, she longed to really be there-except of course, she was there, so it didn't make sense.

I've felt that way before.

47. Felt grateful for the existence of the Moriarty sisters.

They're really good at expressing the stuff that's in my head.

48. Wondered about that certain feeling of not being there.

I think I get it when we go to a place, and we're not staying as long as I'd like.  Or we go to a place that I know we're not going to go often, but I wish we would go more often.

49. Thought that sometimes it's also a feeling of not belonging. Maybe it seems like everyone else are regulars, and I'm an intruding guest.

50. Started to proofread my post and realized I interpreted some of the Waleed Aly editorial wrong.

I was asking what bias has to do with someone's popularity.  But now I'm seeing that the bias accusation wasn't an answer to why Aly isn't popular enough. It's part of the answer to why Aly shouldn't win the Gold Logie.

I don't personally agree with the idea that a biased person shouldn't win a Logie. It's just now that I'm getting it clear in my head, the editorial makes a little bit more logical sense.

51. Thought about it more.  I think originally I saw the editorial as saying Aly's bias is one of the reasons why WHY he isn't popular enough. Now I'm seeing it as the editorial saying that the bias SHOULD be a reason why he isn't popular.  Because the Golden Logie is basically a popularity contest. It's voted in by the public.

52. Proofread some more and saw that I had planned to look for red skin blotches on Fargo.

We watched Fargo.

I didn't remember to look.

I do remember a lot of red, but that was blood.  I'm not sure about the skin. I'll try to remember to check tomorrow.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online