Anthony Dillon, Medication, Crackers, and Samuel Johnson

1. Bookmarked the ABC page for Anthony Dillon. Because I got an email from my sister last night about him. She says his name popped into her head. She Googled, found out he was connected to Australia, and sent me an email.

That's the kind of thing that happens to me. Sometimes names pop into my head. I Google to see if I can find the names online.

I often believe spiritual beings are putting the names into our head. If that's true, and I was meant to read about Anthony Dillon, why not just put the name in my head? Why give it to my sister?

So I'm thinking, maybe she's supposed to learn about Anthony Dillon too. Or maybe she's supposed to find another Anthony Dillon, but she got sidetracked by the Australian one, because of me.

2. Dreamed about Australia. We're heading to Sydney. I try to decide whether or not to let our Melbourne friends know we're going to be in their country. It's last minute notice, but who knows...what if they already had plans to go to Sydney, anyway. Tim thinks we shouldn't tell them—the idea being that things haven't been so great between us, anyway. I argue that Australia is so far away. If we make the mistake of not seeing them, it's not something that can be easily remedied. 

3. Read one of my old posts, and it gave me a brief moment of massive Jaclyn Moriarty love.

4. Considered maybe my next re-reading project should be a Jaclyn Moriarty book.

5. Got goosebumps when looking at the list of editorials that Anthony Dillon has written. One is about mental health and chemical imbalances. This is an issue that I often feel very passionate about. Maybe the universe was trying to direct me to this editorial. Via my sister?

It's all odd.

6. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

7. Felt sad for Chris (James Mason). He was planning to have the baby with Lucy (Melissa Bell). Then they found out they're both carriers of a detrimental disorder. So Chris pulled out.

When Chris finds out Lucy is still pursuing motherhood, he gets upset. He mourns the future he had mapped out in his head. He's grieving a child that hasn't even been conceived yet.

 It makes total sense to me.

I think the sadness he feels is not much different from the type some people feel when they have a miscarriage. They're often not mourning an actual person but the potential of a person.

8. Started reading Anthony Dillon's editorial about mental health. It's titled, "Mental Health and the Mystery Pill".

Dillon challenges the assumption that mental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance.

He describes a situation in which a man behaves badly, and someone suggests he has a mental illness. Then Dillon talks about how this often leads to someone being prescribed medication.

9. Liked this quote from Dillon. In a society where aberrant behaviours are increasingly being medicalised, with a "pill for every ill" and an immediate solution for every inconvenience being sought, presenting life's problems as medical conditions enables a quick (and profitable) solution - medication.

Amen to that! This so goes along with my own viewpoint!

10. Glad that my sister led me to a man who gives validation to my own opinions.

It would be annoying if she sent me to a man who challenged my viewpoints. And stressful. Though probably good for my brain and soul.

Still...this is more fun and enjoyable.

11. Loved this quote from Dillon. it is my wish that we as a society, consider addressing underlying causes for feeling depressed, emotionally disturbed, etc., and that doctors charged with the responsibility of "first do no harm" think carefully before they go to write a script for medication. The underlying causes I refer to relate to living in a world where there is increased pressure to be perfect, a quick fix being offered for everything, family breakdown, and less nurturing and supportive social networks.

Amen AGAIN!

Maybe Dillon is my soulmate.

12. Wished Dillon's editorial would magically find its way into the brains of some of the Tallygarunga writers who gave me grief. I had strong disagreements with a couple of them.

In the wizarding world of Victoria, Australia, there was a wizard who became depressed after his girlfriend became violently raped. He went to a doctor, and they prescribed him anti-depressants. I wrote on my blog about how I didn't like this. Why automatically assume a depressed person has mental illness? Maybe this person was simply incredibly upset because very shitty things had happened in his life.

The writer, in charge of this wizard, wrote me a very angry letter and ordered me not to write about her characters anymore. God forbid I have a different opinion than her about something.

Can you imagine JK Rowling ordering people to stop writing about her books or characters whenever someone shared a dissenting opinion?

The other thing that annoyed me is there was a very condescending attitude—something along the lines of, I hope you and your family never have to deal with mental illness. Which is probably bullshit. When someone is angry and says something like that, I think what they're really saying is, I hope Karma kicks you in the ass, and when you're in my shoes, you'll have the same opinion as me. Then you'll be sorry!

The thing is I have dealt with mental illness. I've been prescribed antidepressants (Lithium) in the past.  I have a cousin who suffers from severe schizophrenia and another one that had bipolar disorder. One of my grandparents dealt with depression. I'm not a stranger to the whole thing.

If someone thinks differently than you, don't assume it's because of lack of experience. To do so is incredibly arrogant.

13. Understood that if the certain Tallygarunga writers ended up reading the editorial, it would be doubtful they'd change their opinion. Because I've read stuff from their viewpoint, and it didn't change mine.

But still...it's at least nice to read from the other side. Though it can be stressful.

 I think it's easier to read stuff that agrees with us.

14. Blurted out that I thought the lake house crackers, that we eat with the cheeses, were gross. My dad reminded me they were Australian crackers, and that's why he's been buying them. This led to everyone admitting they don't like the crackers. Even my dad doesn't like them.

They're rice crackers. I don't associate rice crackers with Australia. I mean I'm sure there are times that Australians eat crackers made of rice.  But I don't think it's a common food. It's not like Vegemite or Tim Tams.

15. Looked at the Central Market website. This is where my dad buys the crackers.

I think the crackers he buys are called Crisp Australian Waterwheels.

First of all, in Australia, I doubt they're called AUSTRALIAN Waterwheels.

16. Wondered if I had the wrong cracker. Because the crackers my dad buys are made of rice. Or at least I think they are. I found Australian waterwheels on this site, and they're made of wheat.

17. Ended up on the Waterwheel website.  They're an Australian company; and they pride themselves on being popular in the US.  They say: Sold exclusively in speciality and gourmet food stores and delicatessens across the USA, our Waterwheel brand is now very popular with Americans, who just can’t seem to get enough of our Australian-made quality.

I wonder if they sell anything in Australia.

If a lot of Americans are loving Australian crackers, it's probably because they think Australians are eating them too. They probably feel like they're acting Australian and that makes them feel special and cultured.

I'm sure most of these American Waterwheel fans would be disappointed to learn that Australians aren't eating a lot of them. IF that is the case.

18. Saw that there are different type of Waterwheels. Rice is only one out of several types. The others probably taste better than the rice ones.  In that case, there are probably Americans who actually like the taste of the crackers and don't eat them simply because they're Australian.

19. Reminded myself that it's possible that some people might enjoy the rice crackers.

If they're not on a weight-loss diet, I might be a bit surprised.

20.  Learned from the About Us page that the Waterwheel crackers are (Or were?) sold in supermarkets in Australia. Plus, they're sold in countries besides Australia and the US.

I also learned that the company was started in 1998 in Dandenong, Victoria.

21 Started watching an episode of The Secret Life of Us.

For a moment, seeing Sibylla Budd made me miss Sea Patrol—kind of like a homesickness feeling.

22. Noticed that Arnott Shapes are being shown on The Secret Life of Us. I think Gabrielle (Sibylla Budd) had them in her office on a previous episode I watched.  Now I see that Kelly (Deborah Mailman) has them on her bed.

I'm guessing Arnott's sponsored the show? Or it could be an inside joke of some kind.

23. Read another editorial by Anthony Dillon.  It's interesting, and I'm sure very controversial. He speaks out against Aboriginal Australians clinging to old traditions and culture.

He's pretty much pushing for assimilation. I can see his point, but I can see the other side too. I guess I'm neutral. Or really, I think it's a choice thing. If someone want to keep their traditional culture, that's fine. If they want to move away from it, that's fine as well.

24. Enjoyed discussion on The Secret Life of Us about "the feeling". They're talking about the chemical attraction thing. I tend to label those feelings as  crushes. Kelly has been spending a lot of time with a guy. She likes him but doesn't have the feeling yet.

I can understand that. I've had times where I find people attractive, but I don't have THE feeling.

I think sometimes someone can seem perfect to us. They're funny. They're interesting. They're nice. We find them attractive. But the feeling is not there. Then there are other times where we think someone is kind of a jerk, and they're really not that great looking; but the feeling IS there.

Is it better to go with the feeling? Or is it better to go with the person who has all the right qualities with hope that the feeling eventually happens?

25. Related somewhat to Miranda (Abi Tucker) She tells Kelly she could never love a woman. Kelly asks her why, and Miranda says she couldn't do the sex stuff.

Well, I could love a woman, but I wouldn't want to do the sex stuff either.

But maybe I could find a woman who feels the same way, and we'd have a nonsexual romantic relationship. We could just hold hands. Give each other back scratches.

26. Wondered if maybe I wouldn't want any type of physical affection from a woman.  But I'd still enjoy the mutual love and attraction.

I imagine being loved by Kelly, from the show, and I like that. It would be fun to get texts from her and buy each other gifts.

27. Realized that having a nonsexual romance with Kelly would really be like having Kelly as a best friend. And I don't want that.

Just thinking about it is making me feel a bit suffocated.

Maybe I just enjoy watching Kelly on my computer screen. Sometimes it's really nice to just admire and adore people from afar.  Especially when they're fictional.

28. Amused by a scene in The Secret Life of Us. Christian (Michael Dorman) is getting to know a woman, and he finds out she's a furniture designer.  In Wonderland, Dorman plays a furniture designer.

29. Wanted to say that I'm liking this episode of The Secret Life of Us. A lot.

It makes me feel relieved. I didn't like not liking the show.

30. Reminded of my mom, because Kelly is wearing the type of shirt that she used to wear. I think? I could be wrong.  But I see the shirt and can imagine my mom wearing it.  At least in the past. I can't remember her wearing anything like that recently.

31. Wondered if perhaps those types of button-down shirts were popular with woman in the early 2000's. That's when this episode of The Secret Life of Us first aired. And my mom is into following fashion trends.

32. Looked at some of my photos from the early 2000's. I didn't see any photos of my mom wearing a shirt like Kelly's. So maybe she wore them in a different decade. Or it could be she had one shirt like that and for some reason, it stuck in my head.

While looking for a photo of my mom wearing a Kelly-shirt, I ended up seeing photos of myself in my thirties. I'm so impressed with the beauty I possessed back then. When I look at the current me, I usually see someone who looks old and ugly. But I don't think I often appreciated my thirties beauty when I was in my thirties. I have a feeling that when I'm in the midst of my fifties, I'll look back at the me now and think I looked beautiful.

I don't think I have ever appreciated how I looked back when I was looking that way.

I wish the current me could appreciate the current me. Although I was looking in the mirror this weekend, and kind of liked all my facial skin imperfections. I guess I'm growing used to them. If I could grow to love my imperfections, that would be fantastic.

I think I can, actually. I might be beginning a phase of appreciating the beauty of ugliness.

I'm growing to like the hyperpigmentation on my face. I like the stubborn rash on my chest. And I like all the little spider veins on my legs.

33. Inspired by a comment on one of my recent posts to find out more about Samuel Johnson riding a unicycle for cancer. Well...to fight cancer.

34. Went to Samuel Johnson's website that he shares with his sister. She's dying from breast cancer, which makes me very sad. I spent the week with one of my sisters and had an amazing fantastic time. I can't imagine what I'd do if I lost her, or if I lost my other sister. They're bitches sometimes and I want to scream at them. But for the most part, they're wonderful.

Also, there's someone very close to me who is in the midst of losing a sibling. It's so incredibly hard for them.

35. Went to the website for the Garvan Institute. This is where Samuel Johnson and his sister are sending the unicycle money. I have to admit I'm glad they're not sending it to the Susan Komen foundation. I've read things about that charity which makes me not like them so much.

I'm hoping I'd like the Garvan Institute better.

36. Looked at the Garvan cancer research page. I'd like to hug and bless all these researchers who are finding treatments for horrible cancers.

For example, Professor Andrew Biankin is working on therapies for Pancreatic Cancer patients.  So maybe in the future, less people will have to experience what Haley from Coronation Street had to endure. And it's not just Haley that endured it, but also her husband and friends. Yes, I know they're fictional people. But it's still so incredibly sad...especially knowing that real people DO experience it.

37. Thankful to David Bowtell for fighting against Ovarian Cancer. That disease scares me a lot.

38. Decided I tend to have more gratitude, respect, and admiration for medical researchers than I do doctors.

Doctors save lives too. I understand that. But they can be really annoying sometimes. It especially annoys me when they're unaware of the science stuff. Or they don't care.

Well, actually not knowing is kind of okay...especially if it's not in their exact speciality. Not caring and not wanting to know; that's complete shit.

39. Thought back to the mental health topic.  Or actually I was thinking about it before but am finally finding the time and motivation to write about it.

I think I'm less bothered by the medicating of emotional issues than I am with the labeling of them.

If someone wants medication to deal with their problems, I think that's fine. To a point. Who am I to throw stones? I take a Benadryl at night for the mere hint of nausea. I don't want to deal with it. I fear I'll end up vomiting. Drugs can make things easier sometimes.

What bothers me is labeling someone as being ill when they're having normal human emotions. And normal has a pretty wide range.

If someone is grieving and they want to take a medication to make them feel better; FINE! But don't say they suffer from a mental illness called depression. They're not diseased or disordered. They're sad...depressed. They're having a normal reaction to loss.

The thing is, though, the labels mostly come from companies wanting to sell the drugs. They're hand in hand. So in that case, I DO hate the medications.

I'm okay with people drugging themselves. I'm not okay with doctors pushing the drugs on them. And in my opinion, a doctor simply suggesting a medication is a form of pushing. Usually. The thing is, people often put a huge amount of trust in their doctor.  It's hard to say no to a doctor; or to question their suggestion.

40. Decided maybe I'd be okay with a doctor who asks the patient if he'd like medication. They could say. Some patients like to deal with their sadness by taking a medication. How would you feel about that?  I think this is much better than saying. You need an anti-depressant. Or I'm going to write you a prescription. OR, You're suffering from bipolar disorder. I want to start you on a low dose of.....


Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Syrup, Marijuana, Wizard Stalking, and Homeschooling

1. Ate the damper that Tim made.

It was really good.

Now we have the open can of golden syrup.  I hate for much of it to go to waste, so I'm thinking of things we can do with it.

Well, tonight I'll put it on my ice-cream.  We have some of the damper left, so we can also repeat the damper-golden syrup combination tomorrow. 

2. Wondered if perhaps I wasn't completely off my rocker when suggesting Reade Ainsworth could smoke pot as an alternative to taking prescribed psychiatric medication. 

I DID briefly read, in the past year or so, that there is a correlation between marijuana use and psychosis...when marijuana use is started at a young age.  I can't remember if there was proof of causation, or not.  But I do remember reading about the idea that the marijuana doesn't necessarily cause psychosis. But for people who are destined to become psychotic, it might bring on the symptoms earlier.  The stuff I read said this is a problem, because people who develop psychosis at a later age have better outcomes.

I was wondering, though, about other mental issues like depression and anxiety. Can marijuana help?  Would it make things worse?

It turns out the opinionated experts out there have differing opinions. I jumped to a few websites.  This blog seems to summarize it pretty well.  The blogger has quotes from those who think smoking pot is a good thing for depressed people and those who think it's a bad idea.

The opinion I personally formed after reading the other opinions is that marijuana MIGHT be a valuable tool in treating depression but if taken in high doses, it can backfire and make things worse.

Can the same not be said for legal medications prescribed by doctors? I've heard they can be helpful.  I've also heard they can be sometimes unhelpful, and they can sometimes make things worse.  

3. Skimmed an article about the study linking marijuana and psychosis.I don't think it talks about the importance of not getting psychotic episodes early in life, so maybe I dreamed that one up. OR maybe it's just not talked about in this particular article.  

I'm reading the article more carefully now. It was an Australian study, actually—a meta-analysis type thing.  I'm not sure if that's the proper name.  But it's one of those studies where they look at other studies. With this method, they looked at twenty thousand patients. Out of those patients, the marijuana users had their first psychotic episode three years earlier than the non-marijuana users.

4. Saw I was wrong. This article does mention the don't-go-psychotic-too-early thing. Someone from the study was quoted as saying:

An extra two or three years of psychosis-free functioning could allow many patients to achieve the important developmental milestones of late adolescence and early adulthood that could lower the long-term disability arising from psychotic disorders.

5. Continued to read the article. I think they're saying that there is no proof of causation. As we learn in our psych 101 classes, correlation does not equal causation.

Some folks believe that maybe the marijuana doesn't bring out the psychosis in young folks. They believe that maybe the early symptoms of psychosis leads young people to turn to drugs. It's a chicken and egg thing, really.  

6. Started to feel passionate about medical marijuana.  Maybe that will be my new cause. I was pro before but kind of in an apathetic way.

I think what changed me is seeing the characters do marijuana in the movie 50/50.  The guy with cancer reminded me a lot of myself.  He doesn't drink or smoke anything.  He doesn't do drugs.   (And he doesn't drive!)

But then he's with other patients, and they offer him a macaroon with pot. He says no at first, but then he takes it. It gives him a few moments of peace and happiness.  

Now I'm seeing from Lord Wiki that there may be many benefits to marijuana. I don't think I'd do it for the fun of it.  But if I got sick and felt there was good evidence that marijuana would make me feel better and/or help me live longer, I'd be mighty pissed off that my state government is denying me the right to use that form of treatment.

7. Found an old dream.  It's from April 18, 2008. It's not about Australia; but it reminds me of how I sometimes feel when blogging.   

Driving and feeling alienated. There are people around the place I'm driving....like I'm driving in a crowd of people. I feel they all are mad at me or dislike me. I might hit one slightly, or I think I did on accident. There's this feeling of being embarrassed and ashamed.

Speaking of dreams, last night I had a lucid dream in which I reminded myself that I have a blog about Australia. I do that in my lucid dreams every so often—prove my strength of lucidity by reciting facts about my real life self.

I don't think I got very far with that this morning. After mentioning to myself that I have this blog, I think I became distracted.

8. Found a rather dark dream about Australia.

This one is from April 22, 2008.

We go to some park like place....maybe a playground. There are usually wallabies there, but this time there are also huge kangaroos. The kangaroos are aggressive and one attacks Jack.  It hurts Jack's nose. I kill the kangaroo with my bare hands.

9. Loved reading Fruitcake's story. It's about women working in a factory.

Fruitcake is very talented.  I already knew she was good at writing nonfiction. Now I see she's equally great at fiction.

I love that you can find so many great writers on the internet.  

10. Went to Tallygarunga.

I started to read and write, but I feel bad about the rants and the controversies....and all that. Even before the rant issue, I kind of felt like an intrusion.

It's probably all in my head.   I don't know.  Or maybe I just feel like a creepy lurker who's spying on a bunch of wizards and witches.

I don't know much about role-playing. But I've come to think it's more about being part of a community and writing as a team.   I think it's less about weird outsiders coming in, reading, and them commenting...even though some of the Tally people were very sweet and welcoming towards me.   

I'm not sure about any of it, really.  I think I'll just take a break for a week or so. Then I'll decide if I feel like getting back to it.  If I don't get back to it, I probably will have to sneak in every so often to see what's happening. Will Reade and Arti get back together? Will Améa and Arti become friends?

Whatever happened to Riley Lightfoot? I haven't seen him in awhile.

I miss chef James Young and his romance storyline.   

I'll have to see if The Exorcist couple ends up tying the knot. I wonder what sort of wedding gift Walter will give them.  

Will the Blair kids realize they have five more siblings out there somewhere?

And of course I'll want to see what's happening with Lee Evans and his newly found magical powers.

11. Saw that there's a threat of cyclones and bushfires in Western Australia, the central part—north of Perth and south of Broome.

I hope everything turns out okay—no extensive damage or loss of life.  

12. Read article about the floods in New South Wales.

The weather is rough on Australia during the summer months.  

13. Wondered if golden syrup needs to be refrigerated.  I put it in yesterday, but it's slow moving enough without refrigeration. I took it out. I'm hoping it will be okay.

14. Read this website.  One guy says the golden syrup should be refrigerated after opening, but the others seem to think it's fine not too.

I'm thinking of other stuff we don't refrigerate and it ends up okay: Nutella, imitation breakfast syrup, honey, corn syrup.....

We do refrigerate our Hershey syrups, the type you put in milk. I'm not sure if it's really necessary or not. 

15. Read a sweet little supernatural story in Isabelle the Navigator.  It's open-ended, which I like.   The character, hearing the story from her new friend, is skeptical and doesn't know if she's being told the truth or not.  The one telling the story doesn't know if it was all her imagination and whether or not the amazing coincidence she experienced was a miracle or a clever lie.  

The outcome of the story reminds me of something that has happened to me.

In the story, two people have this strong spiritual connection.  It's like they're brought together by fate. They become friends but in the end, it doesn't work out.    

I do feel pushed by destiny to have certain people in my lives.  Then when we drift apart, I wonder what was the point of all that?

Maybe I mistook coincidence for destiny.

Or maybe we were meant to play only temporary parts in each other's lives.

It could also be that our friendship isn't truly over.  Perhaps it's only on hiatus. That happens sometimes.  

16. Saw that I have brothers for my Australian of the day.  And I see that I'm done with Armstrong people.

Now I have Charles Henry and Frederick William Armytage. 

And for the next post I'll be writing about their dad, George Armytage.

17. Saw that Charles Henry was the elder brother.  He was born in 1824.  Frederick William was born fourteen years later.   Wow.  That's a big space there.

Charles was the fourth son and Frederick was the sixth son.  So there was one kid born in-between that time.

18. Learned that Charles was born in Bagdad Tasmania which was Van Diemen's Land.

His dad gave him property.  He became a grazier.

He ended up in Victoria.

He owned lots of land, including Como. That sounds familiar to me.  Maybe it's talked about in the Australian architecture book I have.

19. Found a website about Como.  It's part of the National Trust of Victoria. 

20. Looked at my architecture book.  There's a whole chapter on Como.   It's in Melbourne. I'm sure Andrew has mentioned it then. That's probably the main reason why it's familiar to me.  

21. Found Como on Google Maps.   It's in South Yarra.  I think Andrew maybe lives around that area.  I can't quite remember....like usual.  

22. Consulted Lord Wiki to see if the Armytage family played a big part in Como's history. He says the house does have a long association with that family.

23. Learned that Charles Armytage was involved with turning Eucalyptus oil into a healing product.

24. Learned that Frederick Armytage ended up owning property too.

And he played cricket.

25. Glanced at a marijuana study from the University of Southern California.

A lot of it goes over my head. It's been a LONG time since I've taken statistics.

The study looked at nine thousand people. They divided the participants into daily users, weekly users, less than weekly users, and people who have never used.

I could be wrong, though.  It's confusing to me.

26. Saw that the study looked at four factors regarding depression; depressed affect, positive affect, somatic activity, and interpersonal symptoms. I'm not entirely sure what those refer to.  

27. Decided to just skip down to the conclusion/discussion bit.

They say basically those who use marijuana, either regularly or occasionally, have less depressive symptoms than people who have never used. 

Okay, but here's my argument...which probably has no merit. One of the main reasons I don't like the idea of drinking or smoking pot is the worry of loss of control.   I worry I'll go completely silly and embarrass myself which is ridiculous since, without drugs, I'm very silly and often embarrass myself.

I was embarrassed for the guy who got high in 50/50, even though I was amused by him and also kind of happy that he was happy.

But what I'm wondering is maybe it's not about the drugs reducing depression. Maybe people like me choose not to use drugs because of something in our personality.  Maybe we're too uptight.  Maybe we cling too desperately to control. And maybe people who are uptight and cling too desperately to control are more likely to be depressed.  

I'm probably wrong. There probably IS something in the drug that reduces depression. I'm just trying to provide an alternative angle.

28. Chuckled a bit at this part of the conclusion.

This study was also the first to our knowledge to separately investigate depression in medical marijuana users relative to recreational users. Medical users reported more depressed mood and more somatic complaints than recreational users, but reported less negative affect and fewer somatic complaints (among women) than those who had never used marijuana.

Sometimes I wonder about the people doing these studies.

Wouldn't it be kind of expected that people, with a medical condition would be less happy than those who are just using marijuana for the fun of it?

I don't think these are minor medical conditions....like my currently dodgy toenail. I think these people, using medical marijuana, have some major shit going on in their bodies. I imagine it's hard for them to be happy. It's nice, though, that the marijuana seems to be making them happier.   I'm confused about the last line I quoted above. Are they saying people taking medical marijuana are less depressed than sick people not taking it, or are they going so far to say that they're even happier than healthy people not doing marijuana.   If the latter is the case; we need to ALL be smoking pot.   They should just put it in the water.

Don't worry.  I'm joking. Sort of.

29. Decided it would be good to look at the opposite end of the argument.  I found a study done in 2001 by the American Journal of Psychiatry.  

The study was a longitudinal one.  They looked at 1,920 people in 1980; then followed up with them in 1994 and 1996. They looked at people who were not depressed in 1980 and started using drugs after that point. The scientists found that they were four times more likely to be depressed than the people who did not use marijuana after the initial examination.

It sounds like the opposite results of the other study.

In this study they talk about the whole chicken and egg thing. Does the marijuana cause depression, or are depressed people more likely to turn to marijuana?

This is the opposite of what I was saying a few paragraphs above. 

Maybe there's two types of people with mental issues—those who turn to mind-altering drugs and those who fear them.

30.  Had some ideas after looking at both of these studies, about why there are such conflicting reports and conclusions, although that seems to be fairly typical of science. That's why I turn to the supernatural.

Anyway, my first idea is that maybe marijuana works differently with different brains.  In some people it causes depression.  In other people it reduces depression.   I guess by coincidence one study ended up with more of one type of person and the other study ended up with the other type.

That seems a bit far-fetched.

Then again, why are there so many different drugs for depression? Obviously one size/type doesn't fit all.  

My other thought goes back to what I was reading last night.   I'm wondering if marijuana used for short periods can reduce depression but for those who use it for a long time, maybe it increases depression.

I don't know, though.  I didn't read, in either study, about the length of time people used. Those in the longitudinal study might have used it once or twice between 1980 and the mid 1990's.  How long did users use in the University of South California study?

31. Thought maybe marijuana is like chocolate. It has health benefits if you eat it in small doses. If you eat a ton of it, then you're likely to become overweight and unhealthy.

I guess a lot of things are like that.

Some things are pretty bad in all doses.

Some things are almost always good, even in moderately large doses.

Then other stuff is good in small doses but bad in large doses.

32. Thought of seaweed. That's another good example. In small doses, it's good for your thyroid. It can prevent hypothyroidism.  In large doses, it can wreak havoc on your thyroid.

33. Thought about how I'm thankful to Reade Ainsworth because he inspired me to learn all of this.   I hope he ends up being okay whether he stays on the anti-depressants or not.   

I know he's fictional.  Yeah. But in my heart, he's real. He's a nice kid...minus his snootiness with the waiter that one time.

34. Learned from Tim that the protesters burned the Australian flag. I think he was all proud of himself for knowing something Australian before I did. And I felt ashamed for not keeping up with the news.

I've been reading the news less lately.

I guess I'm just annoyed by it.

I do learn about some current events from Stephen Colbert, and we're all into the GOP primaries...especially Jack.

I have Australia news on my iGoogle.  I have the ABC widget and a Sydney Morning Herald widget.  I see the headlines. A lot of them are teasers and I have no idea what the story is. Every so often, I'll be curious enough to check.

I used to read Google News Australia. I'd look at the Australia section, the Entertainment section, and the health section.

I don't know. I just got sick of it.

35. Enjoyed the Paris snow scene in Isabelle the Navigator.  It's fun seeing snow through the eyes of someone who's never experienced it before. It really can be magical...at least when it first starts falling.

I would think Jack's love for snow snow would be less than most other kids.  I kind of thought that 75% of kid snow-love is missing school.  Jack misses school every day.   But it turns out he loves snow.

I hope it snows this year.  Last year, we had a lot of snow, much more than Fort Worth usually gets.   So I'm thinking we might not get much this year.  Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe last year started a new trend, and we'll be getting a good amount of snow every year.  

36. Decided I'll try to be better about clicking on the iGoogle headlines. I think my other problem is I've gotten it into my head that if I read an article, I'm obligated to write about it. That's silly and irrational.

I need to remind myself that I don't need to write anything unless I feel inspired to write.

37. Read article about Julia Gillard's staff person leaking information that helped the protesters find Gillard and Abbott at their dinner.

The first thing I thought of when I read that was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  There was that whole thing about relocating Potter and the worry about leaks and spies.  

Now that I think of it, secret-keeping plays a pretty big part in Harry Potter.  There are various incidents where someone's life is dependent on someone keeping a secret.

38. Thought it was fortunate that the Julia Gillard staffer sent protesters to the restaurant and not Voldemort.

39.  Learned that the scary Western Australia storm is named Iggy.

It reminds me of that Judy Blume book.  

I hope Iggy treats Western Australia gently.

40.  Saw there's a new movie coming out with Josh Lawson.  It's called Any Questions For Ben? 

An Aussie actress named Rachael Taylor is in the movie. She seemed vaguely familiar to me.

I looked and saw she was on Grey's Anatomy.  

She was also on the recent TV show Charlie's Angels.  I didn't know about that show until a few days ago, but it looks like it already ended.  

41. Watched a trailer for Any Questions For Ben?



It doesn't really look that intriguing to me, but Josh Lawson is kind of adorable. He'd be a great Tallygarunga face claim person, if any of the role-players became interested in using Australian people.

I was excited to see the guy from Offspring. What's his name again?

42. Found the guy.  His name is Lachy Hulme.  He plays Dr. Martin Clegg on Offspring.

43. Wondered why I keep searching for Julian McMahon in my lucid dreams. This has been going on for seven years now. That's CRAZY.  

Will it ever end?

44. Decided it will end eventually. Obviously.

Everything ends.

45. Watched a little of The Daily Show with Tim and Jack.  Tim is a fan of the show. Jack and I have been somewhat reluctant to jump on board the fandom.

I can't say I loved it. There were a few funny parts. But I prefer Colbert.

Anyway, though, John Stewart mentioned two Australia related thing—Rick Springfield and Oprah's Australia trip.

46. Thought that Luke Davies was quite handsome...at least in the picture on the back of the Isabelle book.  He looks like some actor.  Maybe Clive Owen?

47. Finished reading the Isabelle book.

I thought it was really good.  I'm not sure I liked the ending, though.  Davies took the same route as JK Rowling and provided an epilogue. I liked the JK Rowling one until I saw the movie.

As for Isabelle; I had a hard time letting go of the fact that the protagonist is a female and the author is a male.  Some writers are very good at putting themselves in the other gender's shoes. I don't think Davies is horrible at it. There were many times that I felt I was reading about a real woman. Other times, I felt like I was reading about a man's fantasy of a woman.

Isabelle has a strong libido. She's heterosexual, but has a passionate affair with a woman.  Her favorite movie is Star Wars.  Isn't that like the typical man's fantasy woman?

It's fair, though.  Novels by women often have men who represent the typical woman's fantasy.

48. Worried for Western Australia.

I hope everything will be okay. 

49. Saw that there's flooding issues in Queensland.  

I hope they'll be okay too.

50. Went to bed and had some dreams.   In one, I go to a blog and the blogger has a picture using this special device.  You can look at the picture and feel like you're really there.  The picture takes up the whole room.   I stand on something (like a couch) and feel like I'm looking down at the scene.  The only thing is, I can still see our own carpet in the scene. I plan to write about the picture on my blog.   
Last night I googled "Armchair traveling" and glanced at a few sites. So I think that's what inspired that dream.

51. Read article about homeschooling in Australia.   It says many parents are choosing the illegal route.  This means they're doing underground homeschooling. They're not registering their kids.

In both Australia and America, homeschooling laws vary by state. Some states have very strict standards.  Families are on a very tight leash.  Other states give families a lot of freedom.

Texas is very easy.  There's no testing or reporting.  I like that. It's one of the few things about Texas that I love.

When I was looking into us moving to Australia, I read about the homeschooling laws. From what I remember, Victoria families have the most homeschooling freedom. Other state's laws are a bit more complicated and tedious.   

52. Annoyed by a man quoted in the article.  A sociologist Stanford University says, I know plenty of home-schoolers who would still home school even if they had an exceptional public school right next door to them.   

Why don't I just turn that quote around and say, I know parents who send their kids to school even though their kids have a beautiful home and parents perfectly capable of teaching them.  

The other thing is, how do you define exceptional public school?  My definition might not be the same as his definition.

My dream public school?   It would have low teacher to student ratios—probably one teacher for every 8-10 kids. The classroom would be full of books, computers, science materials, toys, art supplies, building materials, etc. There'd be no assignments.  The kids would take the materials and learn what they want to learn.  They'd choose whether they want to work alone or with other students.  A student could spend weeks working on one project if he desired. Other students may work on several different things in one hour.

That's MY dream school.  To other people, that would be a horrible school.   Other people's definition of exceptional school might be a school in which the average standardized test scores are very high.

53. Thought about the final part of the article.  Hanne Worsoe, the manager of the Queensland Home Education Unit says, That's why we live in a civil society that provides that capacity to represent children and to monitor their educational needs. If people aren't registered I'd say you're breaking the law, and if you're doing the right thing by your kids you've got nothing to hide.  

That makes sense on some level. It depends, though, on how rigidly we define doing right by our kids.  If we define it as not starving them, not trading them for drugs, not raping them, not beating them, etc....then I think yeah, that makes sense.

If we define it as the kids must be learning this at this exact age and they should spend this amount of time each month on this and this; then I think that's too rigid.   Not everyone fits into such a tight mold.

I think what Hanne Worsoe needs to do is make parents feel safe enough to come out from the homeschooling closet.  Show these parents that the government is welcoming and accepting of various educational philosophies and choices.

Right now I get the sense that there's a lot of antagonism between the parents and the educational authorities.  I think they should work towards building a cooperative and accepting relationship.    That type of relationship is not built by saying, You'd come forward if you had nothing to hide.   That's what we say to people when we suspect they DO have something to hide, and we want to make them nervous.  

54. Went to look at more of Fredweng's day Twenty in Australia Flickr set.  

55. Liked this photo of Kata Tjuta. 

I'm wondering how that's pronounced. Is the t silent or the j?  Or do you somehow say both letters?

56. Liked looking at the various cute camel photos. Here's one example.  

In most of the photos, though, it looks like the camels are smiling. I wonder if that's an anthropomorphic illusion, or are they really smiley animals?

57.  Thought that this camel doesn't seem to be smiling.  What the hell are they doing to his nose? It looks mean.  

58. Found a website about camel halters and nose pegs. They're used to control the camel.  Why?

It seems strange to me; and painful.  But I'm ignorant about the subject.   The person who made the website DOES seem to care about camel welfare.  They talk about dos and don'ts  in terms of camel care.  They warm about practices that are likely to cause injury.

59. Read this editorial about nose pegs. Charmain Wright is in support of using the pegs, but his argument didn't convince me.

There's less about the welfare of the animals; and much more about controlling the animals.   Wright says:

Granted, there are individual variations between animals and training techniques. Some of my animals did very well without nose lines. But when my camels are working with the public, I feel that public safety overshadows all other prejudices or ethical considerations. The bottom line is that, regardless of type of training, nose pegs afford a greater degree of control than any other type of headgear.

My gut feeling is that if such strong control is needed to keep the public safe from an animal, maybe they shouldn't be used as an attraction.  Or at least not an interactive attraction.

Wright does say later that the nose pegs cause very little discomfort. That's comforting...sort of. But how do you define minimal discomfort?

60. Though that this woman looks a bit like Tracy Pollan....but less so in this photo. 

61. Saw that Fredweng had rice, for a change, instead of noodles.  

Well, no. I'm wrong.

He had noodles too.  


62. Went to Funtrivia to take another Australia quiz.

The one I'm taking today is another national parks one.  

Maybe I'll do okay on it.

63. Decided I probably won't do okay on it.  I answered the first question wrong.  I don't blame myself.  I blame the quiz.   It reminds me of that Oprah Australia quiz.  It's about memorizing numbers and obscure trivia.

So, now I know that national parks in Australia cover 25.7 million hectares. Personally, I don't really care.

64. Got question #7 wrong and saw that Wilpena Pound is in Flinders Ranges National Park.  I thought that's what I put.  Or maybe I answered Flinders Chase National Park.

I knew it was Flinders something; not really because I'm highly knowledgeable about Wilpena Pound.  But the question said it was in South Australia.   I knew Flinders-whatever-park is in South Australia.

65.  Finished the quiz.   Besides the first question, I thought the quiz was reasonable.

I got 8/10.

66. Wondered why I think it's reasonable to memorize names of things but not reasonable to be expected to memorize number facts.

I don't know.....

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Rants, Islands, King's Canyon, and Comments

1. Finished reading Escape From Botany Bay: the true story of Mary Bryant.

It was adventurous and tragic, but it had a reasonably happy ending.

Well, happy might be too strong of a word.  Both of Mary's kids died; and also her husband.  I think it would be hard to find a lot of true happiness after that. She did gain her freedom, though...eventually.  She survived a nightmarish situation.

The next Kindle book I'm going to read is "Over There" With the Australians  by Reginald Hugh Knyvett.

I wonder if I'll like it.

2. Dreamed that Fruitcake left me a comment on my blog.  My post says something about not getting the gift you expected to get from people.  She writes that she thinks she understands.  She gives an example.  She says it's like if you're expecting one thing and instead the person gives you a costume.

3. Enjoyed reading more of Diane B.'s memoirs.  I've been reading a little bit each day. She has excerpts from her mom's journals which talk about their ship ride from the UK to Australia.  It doesn't sound much different from the just-for-fun cruises people take today. There's food, dancing, new friends, bargain shopping, etc. 

4. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to read a story called How Do I Rebel?  One of the stars of this one is Reade Ainsworth.  Maybe I'll learn why Arti is missing him.

The other character in the story is Zofia Call. She's new to me.

The story takes place in Melbourne's CBD.

5. Started to read.

Zofia is not getting along well with her mom. Her mom doesn't approve of her sense of fashion.

Zofia is wanting to rebel.

6. Learned from Reade's post that he and Arti have broken up. That's sad. I wonder if they'll get back together.

Reade's not doing well in life. He's very depressed and has been put on anti-depressants.  

Aren't anti-depressants usually for people who are mentally ill or have a medical condition...like seizures?  

Reade is being bullied. He's lost the love of his life. Isn't it NORMAL to be depressed during those occasions?  Why does he need to be drugged?

It's funny that it's legal for the doctors to drug him with such medications, yet it would be illegal for him to deal with his problems by smoking pot.  Is there really that much of a difference?  

7. Saw that Reade has introduced himself to Zofia. He writes down a message saying he's mute but can hear and understand her.

8. Looked at the biography of Zofia Call.  

9. Wanted to say that if Reade himself feels the need for drugs and that's how he personally wants to deal with his issues, I'm fine with it. I can't say I agree with his choice, but I respect that people make different choices than me.

What I wouldn't be okay with is other people pushing and pressuring Reade to go on the drugs. I wouldn't be okay with a doctor suggesting the drugs. But I would be okay with a doctor prescribing the drugs if requested by the patient.

10. Went back to reading about Zofia.  

Her face claim is Hailey Williams.

Lord Wiki says Hailey is an American singer.

I really wish there were more Australian face claims in Tallygarunga!

11.  Learned that Zofia was born in Greece, so she has the same national heritage as Eudoxia.

12.  Learned that Zofia is seventeen, and she's a university student.

13. Learned that Zofia feels her nose and ears are too large.

I've been thinking about those things lately.

In most cases, if a child or teenager was insecure about their nose, we'd give them pep talks about how everyone is beautiful in their own way.  I don't think many doctors and parents would push a nose job unless there was an actual craniofacial deformity.  

Yet if a child or teenager doesn't have perfectly straight teeth, the dental community will insist it's extremely important to get those teeth straightened.

Karing Dental in Illinois says on their website, Braces have many benefits. Braces can provide you with a higher self-esteem and self-confidence. You’ll notice a better appearance in your teeth and overall face. They also promote healthier, cleaner teeth because it will allow you to brush and floss your teeth better, which will prevent tooth decay and gum disease in the future.

If fixing our teeth can give us more self-confidence, shouldn't we just go ahead and get major plastic surgery all over our body?  What's the point of having straight teeth if our chin's too long, our boobs are too small, our butt's too big, and we're too short?

As for the clean teeth, When you have braces, it's more challenging to keep your teeth clean.

As Karing dental says on this page, With braces, food can easily get stuck inside the brackets, which can lead to plaque buildup. For this reason, it’s important to brush properly after meals and keep your teeth extra clean. Your orthodontist might give you a special type of floss that will allow you to floss in and around your braces. You can also ask to floss your teeth before your orthodontist changes your wires because it’s easier to floss between teeth without the wires. 

Are teeth so easy to clean after braces that it totally makes up for the time, during braces, when they were very hard to clean?   

14. Decided I should get stop ranting and get back to Zofia. Although maybe I'm in a ranting mood today. I'll probably soon find something else to rant about.

15. Started to read Zofia's history.  

If I'm reading this right, she and her family moved to Australia when she was eight. Her father stayed behind though, because of work.  I wonder then, why did the rest of them move?  Was it for her mother's job?

16. Learned that Zofia's father cheated on her mother. Her mother became depressed because of this.

The woman he cheated with sounded pretty awful.  She pushed Zofia's dad to distance himself from his family.  This made Zofia very mad, and she ended up disowning him. Then later her mother remarried, and they produced a baby sister for Zofia. 

17. Proud of myself for  reading the rest of the biography and not finding something else to rant about.

Although who knows what the rest of the day will bring....

18.  Saw that my Australian of the day is Richard Ramsay Armstrong.  He was a naval officer.

Maybe he's the grandfather of the Armstrong naval officer that I wrote about the other day.

I'll go check.

19. Went to check. Richard Ramsay Armstrong IS the grandfather of Jock Armstrong. 

20. Learned that Jock's Grandpa Richard died when Jock was about ten.

21. Learned that Richard Armstrong was born in Jersey, but not New Jersey.

22. Learned that before coming to Australia, Armstrong spent some time living in New Zealand.

In Australia, he was sent by the government to check up on Lord Howe island.  Armstrong ended up living there.  At one point, he became a Lord Howe hero by rescuing a sinking ship.

23. Learned, from Lord Wiki, that Armstrong was the administrator of the island, but later he lost the job. It seems there were ill feelings between him and the government.

24.  Learned from Lord Wiki that Lord Howe island is considered part of New South Wales. It's included in the electoral district of Port Macquarie.

25. Wondered about what went on with Armstrong and this island.

In one paragraph, the Australian Dictionary of Biography says he was a hero. In the very next paragraph they say the islanders petitioned the government to have him removed.

26. Figured it out. Maybe.

I'm thinking perhaps Armstrong was a hero to those on the ship but NOT a hero to the locals. Did they not like him personally, or did they not want ANY person from the Australian government interfering with their lives?

27.  Learned that the government ignored the petition, at first. But then Armstrong started getting other complaints about himself. These complaints included embezzling and illegal liqueur trading. 

All this led to him losing his island job.

28. Learned that Armstrong fought hard to try and save his reputation.

29. Saw that the Australian Dictionary of Biography answers my question in their last paragraph on Armstrong.  They say, His friends sought to protect his memory; Armstrong's party sought to assert his right to natural justice; the island beachcombers sought only the removal of interfering authority and succeeded.

30. Started to look at Fredweng's day Eighteen in Australia Flickr set.   

This set has two pages. I'll probably look at one page today and then one page tomorrow.

31.  Saw a photo of a bushfire.  For something so destructive, it's really beautiful.  

Then again, I think a lot of destructive things are beautiful...tornadoes, hurricanes, explosions, etc. 

32.  Saw that Fredweng took a tour to King's Canyon.  

33. Saw from Google Maps that King's Canyon is six hours west of Alice Springs.

I didn't realize Fredweng was going such a long distance.

I'm guessing he's going to stay the night at King's Canyon. Will he return to Alice Springs, or he is done with that town?

34.  Thought the shadows, in this photo, were kind of cool.  

35. Thought it was interesting that Fredweng took a picture of this woman.   Or maybe she was just in the way of the scenery.

If he did purposely take her picture, did he know her?  Is she a friend?  Or maybe he had a crush on her and snuck a photo?   I think it's interesting that her back is turned from the camera.

36.  Thought this rock looked like he was laying down and smiling.  

37. Lost my internet connection.  Yikes.

38. Interested in the bit of turquoise in this photo.  It's towards the right, slightly above one of the mountain things.

I wonder what that is.  Maybe it has something to do with lighting?   

39. Frustrated.  Now the batteries in my mouse have run out!

40.  Went to Funtrivia to take an Australia quiz.

Today I'm going to take a quiz about Christmas Island.

The only thing I know about Christmas Island is that it has red crabs and a detention centre.   

41. Got question #3 wrong, but I'm confused by the answer.

The question was about the date that Christmas Island was discovered.

It was Christmas. But what year?

The quiz says the answer was 1643.  But then further down, in the explanation, it mentions 1688.

42. Consulted Lord Wiki.   He says I'm the one with the problem not the quiz maker. I don't read carefully enough.

Both the years play a part in Christmas Island's history.

In 1643, Captain William Mynors sailed past the island on Christmas Day.  That's when the island got its name.  More than forty years later, William Dampier visited the island. If I'm understanding things right, they were the first recorded humans to set foot on the island.  I guess there were no natives?

43. Got question #5 wrong and learned about the Christmas Island flag. It's blue and green and has a bird on it.

44. Looked at Lord Wiki's picture of the flag.   I forgot to mention that it also has the Southern Cross.
45. Got question #6 wrong and learned that 70% of the inhabitants of Christmas Island are Chinese.

46. Got question # 9 wrong and learned that the first elections held for the Shire of Christmas Island were in 1993.

What did they do before that?

47. Got question #10 wrong and learned the highest point on Christmas Island is Murray Hill.

There's a Murray Hill in NYC. There's a lot of Indian restaurants there, and has earned the nickname Curry Hill.    

48.  Finished the quiz.

There was not one question about the crabs.

What's the deal with that?

49. Felt conflicted.   I got an email notification saying that I got a comment on one of my old posts...a very old post.  The comment was opinionated, kind of like one of my rants. I feel an obligation to respond because I feel I should respond to all comments. But I don't want to.  I don't know what to say.

Is it okay not to respond to old comments?  I know some people don't even respond to new comments.

50. Felt I probably should respond....just because in life I've had such bad luck with not getting responses from people.   I feel so often that I'm talking to a wall. I shouldn't be the wall to someone else.

51. Thought about how I don't always respond to responses to comments.  I mean if someone comments on my blog, I respond and then they respond; I often don't respond after that.  The conversation has to end SOMEWHERE.  I don't always have to be the person with the last word.

I also have a bad habit of commenting on people's blogs and then neglecting to see their responses.   Sometimes I remember to check, but often I don't. 

I should probably get back into the habit of subscribing to comments.   I do it once in awhile; but I should probably do it more....especially if I've asked someone a question.

Oh shit.  Now I'm realizing I do, to other people, what is done to me...and I hate it.   It's when people ask me a question.   I spill my guts.  Then they give no indication that they heard my answer.   I hate that!  And I've probably done that to other bloggers. I've probably asked questions about their post; then never returned to read their response.

52. Decided I'm really going to make an effort to subscribe to comments. The exception will be people who get fifty zillion comments. I don't want my mailbox flooded.   I'll just avoid asking those people questions.  Plus, I usually end up asking stupid questions that can be easily answered by myself if I opened my eyes and read more carefully.  

53. Realized for for the blogs that get excessive comments, I can subscribe if I'm one of the later commenters. Then I won't get as many emails.

54. Thought about how I hardly ever get email anyway. I'm not on Facebook anymore, so I don't get bombarded by that.  Thankfully!  It might be fun to get blog-comment emails.

55. Decided that despite my decision to subscribe to comments, it probably won't happen.  I'll probably forget to subscribe.  I'm so scatterbrained.

And living a double life has probably made my brain even more scattered.

56. Continued to feel unsure about whether or not I want to respond to the comment on the old post.

I'll think about it......

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

The Exorcist, SOPA, Pirates, and Time

1. Dreamed that, I'm returning to school after the summer holidays.  I talk to a fellow student who spent his holidays in Australia.  He talks about staying at a hostel I've heard about. It's very inexpensive, but nice. Their policy is that, prior to coming to Australia, you send small amounts of money in intervals.

At first I'm interested in hearing about the guy's trip. Then I start to feel jealous. I'm wondering if he knows about my Australia obsession.  

2. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm reading another Eudoxia Karras and Jason Miller story.

This one is called Good Morning Sunshine. 

It takes place in Brighton Beach in Melbourne.

3. Looked for Brighton Beach on Google Maps, even though I think I may have looked for it before....probably for Tallygarunga.

I think maybe it's the one with the colorful bathing houses.  

4. Found the website that confirms I'm right about the bathing houses.  

5. Started to read the Tally story.

Eudoxia goes to the zoo and watches penguins....for hours.   She must be a huge penguin fan. When I was in my twenties, I was a huge orangutan fan. I'd go to the zoo to watch them...maybe for hours.   I took videos and notes.

6. Read that Jason met Lot. I think Lot is Eudoxia's brother?

Jason and Lot had some conversations about Eudoxia's ex, Malcolm.

7. Learned that Eudoxia had once been pregnant with Malcolm's child.  Jason learned this recently and wishes Eudoxia had told him. He's not mad, though. It's more like he wants to be there for her.

They have a sweet relationship. 

8.  Saw that my Australian of the day is John Malet Armstrong.  He was known though as Jock Armstrong. 

Jock Armstrong was born in Sydney in 1900.

His father and grandfathers were also honored with entries in the Australian Dictionary of Biography.

Jock's father was a doctor.  One of his grandfathers was a naval officer and the other grandfather was a clergyman.

Jock himself became a naval officer.

9. Learned that, in his youth, Armstrong was big on rugby and swimming.  I'm sure those skills helped develop his navy skills. You need strength and an ability to deal with lots of water. 

10.  Learned that Armstrong was the executive officer of a ship during World War II. He participated in the rescue of some military people from another ship.  

11. Learned that Armstrong's naval career reached a major setback in 1948.  A medical examination found that his eyesight was deteriorating, and he had weak bones.If I'm understanding things right, he had to quit sea work, but he still worked for the navy.   He did staff/office work. That lasted about ten years. Then he retired.

12. Started to look at Fredweng's day 16 in Australia Flickr set.  It's a small set.  I guess he was less into photography that day.

13. Saw Flickr is participating in the SOPA protests. They have this thing where you can darken people's photos for the day. That's pretty cool...kind of wicked.

I'd feel bad darkening other people's photos. But maybe I'll darken some of my own. It's not like my photos are that popular, though.

14. Darkened one of my photos.  You can still see the photo. It just has SOPA information on top of it.

15. Felt pressure to darken my blog.  Although I did do my part my emailing our representative.  But   maybe I'll also black out my blog for a few hours.

I don't know if I'm doing it to help save the world or because it just seems kind of fun.  

I mean I definitely support the cause.  I just don't know if my little gesture will make a difference.   So I'm really just doing it for the satisfaction of joining in the game.  It's kind of like people joining in a riot...but without the destruction and violence.

16.  Went back to looking at Fredweng's photos.

17. Saw that Fredweng had noodles for breakfast.

He's really big on the noodles.  

It's a cheap way to eat and then you have more money for your travels.

18. Thought this was an interesting thong sculpture. 

19. Saw that Fredweng went to a German town called Hahndorf.  They pride themselves on being Australia's oldest German town.

When I think of German towns, I think of Germantown. And that, like Eudoxia Karras and Jason Miller, reminds me of The Exorcist.  

20.  Saw from Google Maps that Hahndorf is about 30 minutes south-east of Adelaide.  

21.  Thought that this was an interesting bike display.  

22. Saw that Fredweng is at a terminal.  I think maybe the ferry terminal. Where's he going now?  

Wait no.   I don't think he got on the ferry Maybe he just wanted to take a photo of the ferry.

Now he's at a bus stop in Adelaide.  

23. Thought this church was beautiful.  

24. Thought that the old/new juxtaposition in this photo is interesting. 

25. Went to Funtrivia to take another Australia quiz.

The one I'm doing today is called Suburban Australian Waterways.

I might get everyone wrong; and if I don't, it will probably be a case of lucky guessing.

26. Got question #2 wrong and learned the early white settlers of Sydney got water from something they called The Tank Stream.

The Sydney government has a website about it.  

27. Got question #3 wrong and learned Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra was created by damming the Molongo River. 

Bonzle, one of the websites that has great rain information, has a page about the Molongo River.  

At one point the Molongo River merges with the Murrumbidgee River.  Yep. It does.

28.  Got question #7 wrong and learned the Todd River in the Northern Territory doesn't join up with another river.  If it's lucky enough to have water, in the first place, it simply stops at the desert.

29.  Got question #8 wrong and learned Darwin has lots of Mangroves growing there.

I think they grow near the river.

30. Got question #10 wrong and learned that near the New South Wales/Queensland border is the mouth of the Tweed River.

31. Finished the quiz.   I got 5/10 which is the average.  I did better than I expected.  I did have to guess on the ones I got right, but it wasn't completely random guessing.  I kind of had an idea what to choose.  I knew enough to get those right with multiple choice. I wouldn't have been able to answer if it was fill in the blank.  

32. Read a little bit more about SOPA.

I don't understand all of it.  I'm kind of just blindly following the wisdom of those I deeply love and respect, hoping they don't lead me astray.

I figure if Lord Wiki is against SOPA, I probably should be too.

Well, and I'm not completely blind.   I understand a little bit of it.   

I have so many mixed feelings about creative piracy. I think it's wrong to do it in order to profit from it.  Yet I have enjoyed entertainment pirated by other people. For example, that's how I got hooked on Offspring.  Someone illegally uploaded it to YouTube.  Now YouTube has a rule that says people can't put ads on their YouTube video if it contains any copyright material. So they shouldn't be able to profit from them.  Hardly any of my videos qualify for ads because most of them contain copyrighted material.  In some, I'm reading from a book someone else has written.  In others,  I use songs, that don't belong to me.

I don't know, though, how easy it is to sneak past those rules.  

Is it one of those things that people do anyway in hopes they don't get caught?

And....

If you're sharing other people's work just for the joy of sharing, is that horrible?

I did do that once. There was a song I wanted to talk about on my blog.  No one else had turned it into a YouTube video, so I went ahead and did it myself.  I didn't do it to be wicked. I did it because I wanted people to hear the song. It's fairly obscure.

To me, it was different from my montages.  With montages, it's kind of like a collaboration effort...without the permission of the other party.  

I don't know.  It's all so complicated.

And I do wonder if I'd be in support of SOPA if I was making money off my creative work.  I would probably feel differently then. Right now it's hard for me to feel sympathy, because I work very hard, and I don't get paid.  I give it away for free,  so part of me is thinking why should these other people expect to get money for their work?  And well for now....I don't think many of them are starving.

I take for free what others have pirated, but I also still buy a lot of stuff.   I listen to free music on YouTube, but I also buy music on iTunes and Amazon.   It's the same way I read books free from the library, but I also still buy books.  

I think most people do the same.

33. Wondered if there will come a time when all art is free, and no one pays for it.

Maybe.

But I don't think it will happen anytime soon.  There's so much free entertainment out there. Some of it is legal, and some of it pirated. Yet we still pay for movie tickets. We still buy books. We still pay to download music.  We still buy and rent DVD's.

And just because something is freely available, it doesn't mean it's going to be taken. The video I pirated on YouTube has had only 7 views. My novel that is available free online...I've had VERY few people wanting to read it.

34. Thought of something I read the other day.  I forgot where; so I can't link to it. Sorry.

It talked about how the entertainment industry claims to have lost (or will lose?) billions of dollars because of piracy.  Someone responded that this is assuming people would buy the whole CD instead of getting the one song for free.

That really can't be assumed.  Some art is consumed because it IS free.  If it wasn't free, people would pass it by and find something else to entertain them.   

What if my blog wasn't free?  What if people had to pay $5.00 a month for a subscription?  Would I have as many readers? Probably not.

I do like imagining that someone out there would pay.  But I think most people would move on and find something else to read.  

35. Thought more about all of this.  There is entertainment I partake in, and I wouldn't if I had to pay for it.  Then there's other stuff I've gotten for free and was perfectly happy to later pay for it.

An example of that would be Offspring again. The account that put it on YouTube got shut down.  I wanted to see more of the show. I totally didn't mind paying for it, so Tim went through major hoops to buy it for for Mother's Day.   It's not easy getting international shows sometimes, which is a whole other story.  And because of that, I kind of do support the pirates who upload videos so people can see international stuff they wouldn't be able to see otherwise.

36.  Thought about my pretend trip and wondered if it will lead to me having a delusional disorder.

The funny thing is, I think the memories of this trip feel as real to me as the memories of our TRUE trip.  It could be because the last real trip happened close to three years ago.   The memories have faded, and are a bit hazy.  I think old memories have a sort of unreal quality to them.   

37. Thought about how my oldest nephew was born when we were last in Australia.  We were in Gerrora (near Kiama) when it happened.  So when I want to quickly know how long it was since we were there, I just look at the age of my nephew.  He'll be three on February 14.

It will be really sad for me if he's ten and I'm still using his age to determine when was the last time we were in Australia.

Although I shouldn't be that way. I was extremely lucky and blessed to have been able to go to Australia twice. 

38. Thought about airplane rides.

When I started the pretend trip project, I knew the time that our plane would be leaving, and I told Tim and Jack where our pretend selves were. While we were close to going to bed, our pretend selves were boarding a plane in Los Angeles.

Then the next day at some point, Tim asked me where we were on our pretend trip.  I informed him we were still on the plane.

What?!  Tim was quite surprised and remarked that it really WAS a long flight.

It seemed like so much time had passed since we were talking about it at bedtime.   

The idea terrified me and a part of me wondered if I'd rather just skip any future real trips to Australia.

But then tonight, while I was taking my shower, I thought about it. The fourteen hours at our house felt much longer than any long plane ride I've been on.   When I'm on a long flight, it doesn't feel like eight, nine, fourteen, etc. hours.   It feels more like three very long and boring hours.

I think it's because we're so busy at home and we do multiple things. It stretches time.

When we were in Australia in 2009,  time went really slow. And we definitely weren't bored.  I was mystified.  But now I think I understand.  We were busy and our days were full of lots of things. It's like we lived a week in a day, or at least two days in one day.

Time is a funny thing.

39. Looked at Statcounter and realized, for the most part, my blog blackout is only affecting people seeking to learn more about Sam Moran's tattoo.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Books, Dreams, Western Australia and Sims 3

1. Decided that not only would I take a break from posting, I'd also take a post from blogging.—writing things down.  I would take a month break from recording all my Australia-related stuff.

Then I changed my mind.

So I'm writing this the day after announcing my little break.

I think I'll still do the basics—write down my Australia-dreams, my Australia books, and stuff like that.

2. Played Sims 3. I started a new neighborhood because the last one had a glitch.  I hope this new one doesn't have the same problem.  I haven't played the new neighborhood long enough to determine whether it does or not.

Anyway, I didn't create any new Sims for the neighborhood.  Instead I used ones that I had created for my first and second neighborhood. The first neighborhood had lots of families named after Australian Prime Ministers.

Today I played with the Hawke family, the Keating family, and the Fraser family. They're all neighbors.

3. Ate a tiny bit of Vegemite on my toast. I like it in very small doses. Tim ate much more of it on his toast.  He's a bigger fan than I am.  

4. Started to read The Red Shoe by Ursula Dubosarsky.  It's a children's book about a young girl and her two sisters in 1950's Sydney.

It's interesting.

There's a disembodied voice thing that turns out not to be an imaginary friend. I'm not sure what it is yet.  It could be a manifestation of mental illness. Or maybe it's some type of demon?

I might never find out. Maybe it will be one of those open-ended things.

5. Watched a YouTube recommended video.  It's a song called "All These Things", by an Australian named Darren Hanlon.



I like the song.  The lyrics are cute.  

Hanlon reminds me of Ewan McGregor.

6. Finished reading The Red Shoe.  I thought it was spooky and sad. The general idea of the novel is that traumatic experiences cause people to have mental/emotional issues.

7. Found myself daydreaming through the ending chapters of Australia, It's History and Present Condition.  I paid attention in the beginning.  I'm not sure what happened.  Maybe I'm more distracted right now, or maybe the content of the later chapters are less interesting to me.

8. Played Sims.  I spent a lot of time with the McMahon family. William McMahon is friendly, good, and highly-skilled. Alfred Deakin is mean-spirited. The game made him that way, not me.     

9. Gave Jack Vegemite for breakfast. I had oatmeal. Maybe tomorrow I'll have a little Vegemite.

10. Started to read another history book on my Kindle. It's called In A New World, Among the Goldfields of Australia.  I'm not sure if it's nonfiction or historical fiction.  It has a sort of story-like feel to it.  But that might be the writing style.   

I'm looking at the book's information on Amazon.

They say the author is American and that he's a novelist.

Two of the characters I've encountered so far, in the book, are American.  

So...I guess the book IS a fictional novel. It's an American-adventure-in-Australia type thing.

11. Watched Bran Nue Dae.  Finally!  Tim taped it for me. I was so excited.

I LOVED the movie. Tim liked it a lot too.

I liked how it ended.

12. Had to watch my Lost crying scene.  I got myself in the mood for it, because I was thinking of times that we're thankful to people; and they have no idea why we're thankful.

Thank you.

It's just a blanket.

I totally love that.



13. Cried while watching my crying scene. That thing gets me almost every time.

I think the part that got me sobbing-the first time we watched it-was at 2:48.

14. Went to sleep and had a dream.

We meet some people somewhere. One of them is a woman named Lisa. Later Lisa sends me an Australian coffee table book.  She has written a message on the inside cover.  She explains that the book is a Canadian view of Australia. I think about how I already have a Canadian book about Australia, and I have several other Australian coffee table books.

I'm thinking it's neat, though, that despite my having a lot of Australian books, Lisa managed to send me one I don't already have.   

I think the general idea I had in the dream is that there can never be too many Australian coffee books.

15. Started reading Nightmare in Quentaris by Michael Pryor. It's part of this project where different Australian fantasy writers write about the same place—Quentaris.  I love that idea.  If I like this book, I might order one or two more.  

16. Saw that Margo Lanagan and Isobelle Carmody have written for the project. I've read some of their stuff.

17. Asked, by my mom, about the book I was reading. I got about 1.5 words out of my mouth before she stopped listening and started talking to someone else. Actually, I think I'm being generous. She probably stopped listening before I got the first word out of my mouth.

It's kind of typical of my mom. She asks me questions and then doesn't listen to the answers. Why?

Maybe she thinks asking questions is the sign of a good listener, and she doesn't realize listening to the answer is part of the equation.

Maybe she's just asking to be polite, and she really doesn't want to know the answer. It's like when people say, How are you? and they really just means Hi. They don't want a run down on your health, problems, and activities.

The other possibility is that she's easily distracted and forgetful. Maybe she really wanted to know about my book. But then something distracted her, and she then totally forgot she was interested. This is possible because I'm so scatterbrained. Maybe I inherited it from her.

18. Started reading The Year of Eating Dangerously by Tom Parker Bowles. I'm loving it so far. I feel a kinship with Bowles, because he too has a passion for a country not his own. He's British, but has/had a huge passion for America....especially it's food.  

19. Continued to read In a New World, Among the Goldfields of Australia.  It's very cheesy and didactic, but I'm enjoying it. It's very fast-paced.

20. Received my books from Powells!  There's a lot. It was so fun opening the box, because I had forgotten most of what I ordered.  Each book was a great surprise.

Jack stood by while I opened the box. He's so supportive. He was excited for me...very enthusiastic.

It's nice to be happy. I think it's even nicer when someone shares in our joy.

21.  Thought about one of our favorite Australian families.

My Sims 3 game seems to be saying they're our destiny.

Besides making families named after Prime Ministers, I also made some people from our life. And I made us.

Sims 3-Dina has only made one friend outside her family.  It's someone from one of our favorite Australian families.  I didn't make that happen.  The game did it. But I was very happy, because this person and their family is very special to me.

Then today another member of that family was at the park. I was excited to see she was pregnant. My Sims rarely get pregnant if I'm not actively taking care of them.

I stopped playing and went downstairs to eat lunch. I told Jack the exciting news about the pregnancy. I wondered who the father could be.

Later I went up to play again and I played our family for the first time. I saw Sims 3-Jack; (who's now an adult), and his profile thing indicated that there was a new baby in his life. I then found out that Sims 3-Jack was engaged to our pregnant Australian friend. He's the father of her baby.

22.  Read some of the news.

People are gossiping about Julia Gillard reshuffling her cabinet people.

Penny Wong and her partner have had their baby.

23.  Finished reading In A New World Among the Gold Fields of Australia.  It was very moralistic; the main idea being that if you're a good person, in the end, you'll find your pot of gold.

Now I've started to read  The Naval Pioneers of Australia on my Kindle.

I'm still reading the British foodie book. Australia was mentioned in the part I read this morning. Tom Parker Bowles goes to a chili festival thing, and one of the vendors is an Aussie.

24. Found some old dreams about Australia. These are from November 4, 2007, about a month before we went to Australia.

Early dreams about Australian zoo. Don't remember much. Vague. Maybe I work there? Or volunteer? I'm with Steve Irwin, maybe.  We run away from a crocodile??? Maybe Irwin climbs a tree to get away.

(Then maybe influenced by The Lake House).....Something like I'm trying to stop his death. I plan to warn him about the stingray, but I learn he's supposed to die and will die no matter what. The stingray incident allows him to die in a way that doesn't hurt others or give others blame.

People did blame the sting rays, though.

As for the lake house, I was talking about the movie with Keanu Reeves not our family lake house.

Then there was this other dream that same night.

We're in Australia, in the wilderness.  We're with some tour group/educational group. It's dark and eerie.  Various animals are shown....kind of like they're put there for the show. I hear a lion and see a lion; but think I must be wrong.  Then someone says there are lions in Australia. I start asking questions. Are there really lions? Or just zoo lions?

25. Started doing research for our pretend Australia trip.  I found our hotel and told Jack about it. He got really excited and helped me plan our first day, including where we'd eat. Then he got into the fun and planned out a trip around the world.

26. Excited about Jack's pretend trip.  Our first stop is Portland, and he picked out an Australian restaurant for us to go to! I requested that we go at least twice, and he granted my wish.

The restaurant is called Pacific Pie Company. It looks pretty nice.They have three types of vegetarian pies, and they say their meat is humane.

Jack's been really into the trip planning today.  Both of us have so much fun with it. We act like it's real.  Sometimes it's a bit sad to realize it's not real, like when I think about how we're not really going to the Pacific Pie Company. But then tonight we started talking about where we're going after Los Angeles.   We remembered we're flying to Tokyo.  It's a pretty long flight. Then I was kind of glad this is all pretend.

27. Started reading Peter by Kate Walker.   It's gay fiction—a coming-out-of-the-closet type story. I'm trying to remember whether I've ever read gay fiction that's NOT about coming out of the closet. I'm sure there's a lot of stuff out there. I just haven't read a lot of gay fiction yet, so my experience with the genre is limited.

Anyway, the book is good. It's Americanized which is always a bit disappointing to me. The thing that drove it home initially was the term "shopping cart". In the Australian version of the book I'm sure they say "shopping trolley".

Do they really imagine Americans couldn't gather from the context that trolley=cart?

28. Ordered more books from Powells. I had books in my shopping cart and was going to wait to order them. But then I found a book about Alexander Maconochie and got all excited. And impulsive.

29. Finished reading Peter. I thought it was VERY sweet.

Next I'm going to read Tomorrow When the War Began by John Marsden. I've read a book in the series, but not the first one.  I also read a book in the sequel series.

30. Started to google some of the locations in Tomorrow When the War Began.  I wondered if they really existed, or were invented by John Marsden.

The characters live in Wirrawee. That really exists.  Or at least there's a website for it.

Okay, but....

I can't found a Wirrawee town on Google Maps.  I only see a road. 

Did Google Maps miss something?

Or does the town not exist?  Maybe the website is one of those fun fictionalized extras.  

31. Saw that the website is a tie in for the movie. It's VERY clever. It had me fooled for a minute. It looks very much like a community website.

I'm impressed.

I like when people do clever tie-in things like this.  Lost had some good ones.

32. Figured Australia doesn't really have a Commemoration day.  The book talks about it, and I wondered if I had somehow missed an important Australian holiday. I doubted it, but you never know.  I've missed things before. Many times.

It seems kind of strange, inventing a holiday. Why not use a real one.  Australia Day? Anzac Day?   I'm guessing Commemoration Day might represent one of those.

33. Went to bed and dreamed about Julian McMahon.  

He goes to dinner with my family. He's very nice, acts happy to be there with us. Yet I feel insecure and worry he doesn't want to be there.  At the same time, I get the sense that he's worried about being liked and accepted by us.

He sits by me.  But for some reason we later change tables or restaurants. This time he doesn't come to sit next to me. I feel rejected until I see he has chosen to sit across from me.  He talks about going somewhere with some of our family members. I ask if he means my parents, kind of annoyed by this.  He says no and says he wants to go with my younger sister. Just as I'm about to feel very rejected and jealous; he points to me too. He wants to go with both of us.   

I'm sure that dream is very symbolic of something.  I'm not sure what, though. I do know that it deals with my insecurities and sibling rivalry issues. That's about it.

34. Found more old Australian dreams. These are from November 11, 2007.

The first: We're flying into New Zealand instead of Sydney. I get a brilliant idea for us to stay in New Zealand for a few hours. I consider sleeping over but don't want to make our Medina stay any shorter.

The Medina is the hotel we stayed at in Darling Harbour in 2007.   

The second: Stuff with Nicole Kidman. Maybe going to a show....reward show? And she's there. I kind of think it's cool being near her. She seems really nice.

 It's funny that I dreamed about an Australian celebrity being nice.  Then I go and read an old dream; and it's about the same thing.

35. Found a lucid dream about Thaao Penghlis.  It's from November 12, 2007.  In the dream I was in a place I call Dream City; and I had been searching for Julian McMahon.  That's what I usually do in my lucid dreams. At times I don't even really care about the whole thing, yet I still feel obligated to do it.   It's as if it's my job. It's really WEIRD.

Anyway, back when I dreamed this; I did not know that Thaao Penghlis was also Australian.

We pass a tight hallway. Thaao Penghlis is there. I tell him I think he's a good actor, but I liked him better when he played Andre. Then I realize my mistake and say I liked him more as Tony.  I consider whether he's dead or just visiting the Dream City place. And I'm thinking maybe he'll remember this dream and the compliment.  There's a feeling that I did a good deed.

While I'm in the midst of these lucid dreams, I tend to believe all the people are real like me. I figure they're dead (spirits), or other dreamers.

When I wake up I continue to believe it...for a little while.  Then I slowly come to terms with the idea that it's probably all a figment of my imagination.  

36. Finished reading Naval Pioneers of Australia.  I'm glad because it was sort of boring. I wasn't too keen on the writing style. 

My next Kindle book is Eureka: The Story of Australia's Most Famous Rebellion. I know a little about all that, but not much.  So maybe this will be a valuable learning experience.

Hopefully it won't be boring.

37. Finished reading Tomorrow When the War Began.  I liked it. But I didn't love it enough to want to rush out and buy the whole series.  So I asked Lord Wiki for spoilers on the whole series.

Or maybe I should just say that I was too curious to wait.

If I had a good memory I would have KNOWN what happens next, since I've already read two books in the series.

38. Saw that I had a lot of people coming to my blog for my Bernard Fanning post. My blog has been pretty dead for awhile but thanks to Fanning, traffic picked up again.

39. Dreamed about Australia.

In one dream...I hear that Julia Gillard is making a documentary film.  It's an investigative report type thing.   It turns out that, before she became a politician, she was into film-making.   I'm kind of impressed and am feeling this makes me like her a bit more.  

In the other dream: I'm sitting on some kind of tourist train in Australia.  It zips through Wildlife Sydney and I get to see some of the changes.  One thing I notice is that now they have a ton of echidnas.  

My mom 's friend Tish walks over to where I'm sitting on the train. She has a question for me.  She's wondering if property owners are allowed to kill kangaroo if the kangaroo has come onto their property.  I tell her it's funny she asked that because I just read a book and the characters asked the same question.   One of the characters said they'd find out, but they never did.  I joke around with Tish, and say I'll have to wait for the sequel to get the answer.   

I don't know the answer.  I don't know if kangaroos are protected animals. And if an animal is protected, I don't know if you can shoot at it if it comes on your property. My guess is no.

40. Saw from this New South Wales government site that kangaroos ARE protected...at least in New South Wales.

It doesn't mean humans never can kill kangaroos.  It just means there are rules about it.

41. Found a page on the site regarding killing native animals on your property. The government encourages happy peaceful relationships between humans and animals trying to live in the same location.  But they recognize sometimes this doesn't work out.

If you want to kill the animal, though, you sometimes have to get a license.

42. Amused.  This morning, before going to the Chanukah party, Tim and I watched a little bit of the movie Soul Surfer.   I thought the main actress looked familiar, but couldn't place her in my mind.  I thought about it here and there through the day.  Who is she?   Then finally I remembered where I most know her from.  She's a face claim for Tallygarunga.  She's used for the Valentin twins!

I looked at her IMDb profile after I remembered and saw that she was in other stuff I've seen as well.  Still.  I think it's her "role" in Tally that's most memorable to me.

43. Finished reading the book about Eureka.  It was okay. I've also been rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  It's a little hard to compete with that.  

44. Started reading another book on the Kindle.  It's called The Book of the Bush Containing Many Truthful Sketches of the Early Colonial Life of Squatters, Whalers, Convicts, Diggers, and Others Who Left Their Native Land and Never Returned.  

Yeah.  It's a long title.

So far it's a bit shocking.  I'm wanting to think the writer is being ironic; but I think maybe he's not.

OR maybe be is.  A reviewer on Amazon says, I had no idea if this would be good reading or not but knew I could always delete it if I didn't like it. I had never heard of George Dunderdale but after reading a good portion of this book I have found him to be a very very interesting author with an exceptional sense of good humor making his work a delight to read. 

Hopefully, George IS joking.

Here's some excerpts from the book.  Our ancestors were all pirates, and we have inherited from them a lurking taint in our blood, which is continually impelling us to steal something or kill somebody. 

Now that I think of it. It probably IS a joke. I think I'd automatically assume that IF the book was written in this century. But I tend to imagine people of the bygone days as having ridiculously backward ideas. 

Another part of the book declares that America was given to the Puritans by God.  In contrast, Australia was simply taken...without the Lord's permission.

45. Felt a bit like Salma Hayak, with her reaction to Dame Edna's joke about learning Spanish. I feel gullible in that I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

At least I'll give myself credit for guessing that it MIGHT be a joke.

46. Went to bed and had a short dream about Australia.  I watch the news. There's a report about some Jewish disease that is triggered by visiting the Great Barrier Reef.   

That's not too far-fetched. Ashkenazi Jews have some scary genes sometimes. What if there was some type of metabolic disorder that's triggered by exposure to a substance common in the GBR?

47. Found another old dream about Australia. This one's from November 28, 2007. It was a few days before we flew to Sydney.

I'm walking somewhere.  I look below. I listen to a meditation CD and visualize stuff as I walk. There's mention of a lot of flags. And then later there's mention of a new Bishop in Australia.  I'm thinking they might PM, but then I realize they're talking about Catholic stuff.

I don't know what I meant by PM.  Maybe Prime Minister?  I'm guessing I meant to say, they might MEAN PM.  I can't imagine I meant PM as some type of verb.  

48. Spent some time stalking Red Nomad Oz's blog.  That was quite enjoyable. She's great at describing places and situations.

49. Wanted to say that I feel less interested in going to Western Australia.   Lately, that's what I've been craving.  I started to think that when (if) we finally go to Australia, maybe we'd go to Broome, Darwin, and the Pinnacles.  The problem is it would be very expensive for us to do that.   It's bad enough that I'm in love with a country so far away.  My desire to go west makes things even more expensive, time consuming, and environmentally unfriendly.  

So it's a GOOD thing my Western Australia desires are fading.

Where do I want to go instead?

I don't know.  Maybe we'd stick with our Victoria plans. That sounds nice.  Or I could end up with a new passion.  The problem is, by the time we book flights and accommodations, I'll probably want something different.

After reading through Red Nomad Oz's blog, I just want to go to Australia period.

50. Decided to enable commenting.  I figure I should try and be brave about the whole thing.  It's kind of rude for me to complain about the lack of feedback when I make it challenging for people to give me feedback.

51. Changed my mind. Of course.

This time it took less than five minutes.

I realized I'm making the same mistake I so often make in life—hoping things will get better and giving people second (and more) chances.

I need to face the fact that it's my fate in life to receive minimal responses from people.

It could be worse, I suppose.  It could have been my destiny to get minimal attention.  My blog definitely gets attention.  I have readers.  I just don't have many responsive readers. Or I should say they're not responsive to my blog. They're more lurking-type people when it comes to reading my blog. 

It's December 20 right now (as I type this). I've had several days of not posting.  I'm just writing.

I can't say that I feel a difference. I feel like I'm talking to a wall now.  And when I'm posting I feel like I'm talking to a wall. Or a person in a coma. But with coma-folks, they'll sometimes squeeze your hand if you plead with them.

I plead with my readers and still usually get silence.

That's fine. I'll get used to it.

And every so often, someone does reach out to me.  It could have been that I never hear from ANYONE.   So I should really make sure to count my blessings.  I might not get as much as I want but at least, I don't get nothing. So, that's sort of nice.

52. Changed my mind again...and then back again.  I'm having major arguments with myself.  One voice is saying, Well what if someone is SHY?  They want to respond to what you've said, but they're too shy to email. 

Then the other me is saying,  If they're too shy to email, won't they be too shy to post a comment that everyone can see?

Yeah.

Although no...actually I guess there are different types of shyness.  One person might be too shy to say something in public.  Another person might be too shy for the intimacy of email.

Okay, so here's the other argument. If I put up comments and barely anyone comments, I'll look like a loser.  I don't want to look like a loser.

That's silly, though. I keep talking about how I'm a loser. I might as well display the evidence.

If I really want to LOOK popular, I might as well lie and pretend I'm getting tons of supportive and encouraging emails.

The thing is, I'm a fan of honesty.

Anyway, I MIGHT enable commenting.  I might not. I'll decide in the next few weeks...before finally posting this.

In the event that I do bring back comments, PLEASE read this.  It's a list of commenting guidelines.   I wrote it back in the days that I had commenting.  It kind of gives insight into why I later ended up disabling the comments.

53. Started to think that MAYBE the long-titled book is serious after all.  Well, it's not completely serious.  There is humor in it.  But I think the bigotry might be real rather than satire.

I could be wrong though.

54. Went to bed and had dreams.

In one, Jack has gotten gifts for his birthday.  My brother-in-law has signed some of the cards as famous Australians.  One name he uses is Dame Edna.  I'm amused by all this but wondering why he did it for Jack's birthday since I'm the one who's so into Australia.

55. Found an old dream from when we were IN Australia. I didn't know I wrote down my dreams then.   I usually don't record my dreams when we're on vacation or at the lake house.  I think what I did, though, is I took notes in a notebook. Then I transferred it later to my Livejournal account.

On December 26 2007, there's a Livejournal post with all these notes about the other days of December.  

One of the dreams was about zombies.  I thought that was funny, because until recently I never gave much thought about zombies.

There are people who seem normal during the day, but at night they turn into zombies. I try to fight some by knocking children into their mother. Finally we escape from the mob, but the ones I had tried to kill, come with us.  For some reason, I am okay with this....as if they are less harmful now.

A bunch of us run.  There's mention of a quarantine of zombies. Masses of people try to escape. People are thoughtless and silly.  They block the escape of others by going in wrong direction.

It's interesting about knocking children into their mothers. I wonder what that means.

56. Agreed strongly with Peter Collingnon, a professor of Infectious Disease at Australia University.    He says, What is even more a major mistake was that this research was allowed to go ahead in the first place.

This research is something I read about last night.  And it scared me a bit. Some scientists in the Netherlands took a 60% fatal bird flu that's not highly communicable and turned it into something that IS highly communicable.

Now an American science committee has asked the Dutch scientists to censor the information. They're afraid it could get into the hands of terrorists.

Yeah.  I can imagine that. And I can also imagine a lab mistake and one of these viruses escaping.

I'm probably overreacting, because I read Stephen King books. But still!

Anyway, today I decided to read another article about the situation. I liked that the Australian scientist mentioned was on my side of the argument.

Why create a horribly deadly virus that can kill the majority of us?  Some scientists are saying it's about helping the world, learning about the diseases so they can fight them. Well, why not learn about the diseases we ALREADY have?

57. Went to bed and had some Australian dreams.

In one, We've had a party.  Later my dad says he met our friend Alex.  I'm thinking my dad's confused, because Alex is all the way in Australia.  But then I get this hopeful idea that he might have made a brief appearance.

In the dream, making a brief visit to a party all the way from Australia didn't seem incredibly unusual.

The other aspect of the dream differing from real life was that I was happy enough that Alex might have made an appearance.  If this happened in real life, I would have been upset.  But why didn't he come and say hello to me?  

I was just thinking it could all symbolize my blog.  I can see from Statcounter that people ARE visiting. Should that be enough for me?   Should I be like my dream self and simply be happy for their presence?  Or is it right for me to wish for more?

In the second dream: I'm at a meeting.   There's talk about Australian men versus American men.   People say that Australian men are more crude.   They'll make comments about your breasts, while American men are more polite. I defend the Australian men saying this would mean they're more open and less inhibited.   

Then the dream became racist.  I think the Kindle book might be rubbing off on me.

There are complaints at the meeting about companies and organizations hiring too many employees from elsewhere. I agree with this and give examples.  In one, I say I wouldn't want to go to an amusement park in one state that had too many employees from another state. I say I wouldn't want to go to an Australia that had hardly any Australians.   

I do agree with that, though. I wouldn't want to go to an Australia that had hardly any Australians. The question, though, is, what is an Australian?   For me, it wouldn't be about skin color, citizenship or national origins.

It would be accents.  I'd want most people in Australia to have an Australian accent. It's totally fine if some people don't have an Australian accent, of course. I just wouldn't want them to be the majority.

I guess that wouldn't really be racist then. It's not really about race.

It probably does count as being prejudice, though.   

58. Found a lot of old Australian dreams. These are from January 2008 which is right after we came back from our first Australia trip.

On January 6, 2008 I had lots of dreams about Australian animals.

I have a string kind of thing hanging in my mouth.  It's like a thread made of blood, tissue, etc. Then I realize my tongue is hanging from it and it's getting quite small.  If it finally breaks, what will happen to my tongue?  I am hoping/wondering if it will repair itself.

While looking at my tongue, I have an imaginary conversation in my head, wondering what I'd say if people asked what my favorite non-indigenous animal is. I think of saying humans or dingoes

At another point, I see a Koala outside our own window. I get so excited.  I shout out about it. It ends up the koala is swinging on our swing set outside the window.

The tongue bit is quite gross.

59. Found an Australia-related dream from January 9, 2008.

There is a place in Australia that I think Judd would love. It's like a little American village.  It has a cheap hotel called Ameritech.  And there's another place called  Ameripleasure. There's a Chilis and other American chain restaurants. I walk through and am amused to think that this is Australia and all the people are probably Australian.

Judd is my brother-in-law, and he's very patriotic when it comes to America.

60. Tired of the Sims 3.  I've been really into playing it.  But it's so frustrating, because the Sims are supposed to have "storyline progression".  This means even if you're not playing a particular family, they're supposed to still thrive.  Well, my Sims grow old.  But they rarely do anything during their lives.  And they rarely reproduce if I'm not playing them. I want generations spawned!  That aint happening.  I have a bunch of elderly people in my neighborhood now, and VERY few of them have descendants.

It's so frustrating.

With Sims 2, I had so much fun playing multiple families.  The problem with that game, though, was that the people didn't progress unless you played them. So I might have 2 Sim friends.  One of the Sims becomes an elder while her childhood friend is walking around town; and she's still a child. 

I love the IDEA of storyline progression Sims 3. I just wish it worked as well as I'd like it to work.

61. Figured I'll probably quit the Sims.

It's probably for the best. Then I'll have more time for reading, exercising, and other fun things.

Also when I finish my blogging hiatus, I won't have time to play. I mean I'd have time, but I'd have to sacrifice other things.

I don't regret playing the game, though. I loved that the game connected us to our Australian friends.  To me it was a sign that these people are supposed to be playing a part in our lives.     

62. Went to bed and had more Australian dreams.

In one, I'm with my mom and my sister.  We're looking at the two CD's that my nephew received for Chanukah.  One's from us.   I look at the other one.   I see the singer on it is June Bronhill.  I tell them that the singer for the CD is Australian.  My mom and sister seem slightly bemused and also slightly exasperated. They give a response of excited interest, but I get the sense they're being sarcastic.

In the other.   I'm with my parents and we see a program with a lot of animals.  My mom thinks it might be Australian, because there are kangaroos. There are other animals, though, that I don't associate with Australia.  At first, I'm guessing it might be Papua New Guinea. Then I decide there's animals in the program that aren't native to there either.    We get the idea it's a zoo type thing with animals from everywhere.   My dad is excited about the whole thing and wants to meet those in charge.  My dad feels that they'll be honored to meet him and honored to grant his requests.   But the young woman he ends up talking to doesn't seem at all impressed.  She seems annoyed and bored. My dad offers to give him his autograph and she mistakingly assumes he's asking for her autograph.

It was a major battle of the egos.  

63. Wondered if I might play the Sims again and just stick with one family.  Yesterday I played Sims 3-Dina's grandson. Cory.  I had him adopt 7 kids. They were really cute.  And they live in this gigantic fun house. What I could do is play them in their mansion. Then when they grow up, I'll alternate between their seven houses.  That's probably better than playing every house in the neighborhood.  When I did that....well, there are so many houses. By the time I got back to a house, the teen I last saw would be an elder the next time I saw him. 

64. Found an old dream about Australia. This is from January 10, 2008.

I talk to my parents about Australia.They say they prefer I move somewhere where they have connections.  I say that's one of the reasons I like Australia.  There are no connections.

The dream wasn't true.  My cousin lived in Sydney at that time. We definitely had connections.  

65. Found another old dream about Australia. This one is from January 11.

We write to the Port Stephens people and then they ask us to call. We do.  Tim talks to one of the men while I talk to one of the women. I don't even notice the accent. We don't seem to connect well. They talk about their recent trip to Disney World.  I'm a little annoyed they came to the United States without telling us. There is talk about all of us going to Port Stephens next year but then the women remember that they were planning to get their stomachs stapled. This means they can eat only 15 pounds of food per meal.

I wrote in my journal that, in the dream fifteen pounds of food, didn't seem like a lot.  When I woke up I noticed the absurdity.

66. Hoped that the Northern Territory doesn't have major storm problems.  I'm seeing the threats on the news.  It's all a bit scary.

67. Finished reading the first chapter of The Power of One.  It's my first reading of a Bryce Courtenay book.  So far, it seems very much like the kind of thing I'd like.

I can't say the same for the Kindle book with the incredibly long title. It's kind of boring to me. Should I quit reading it?   I don't know.  

It's not so bad reading a boring book when I'm alternating between that and a good book.

68. Re-watched some of Bran Nue Dae.

I watched this scene repeatedly.



It kind of brings me back to wanting to go to Broome.

Every time they sang, Soon I'll be dreaming in Broome, I started to cry a little bit.  Maybe it's not Broome, though. It could be the line itself.  Since I like dreaming, it's a beautiful way to think of traveling.

It's nice for me to think that once upon a time I dreamed in Sydney, Port Stephens, Gerroa, Launceston, and Canberra.

69. Went to bed and had dreams in Fort Worth.  Many of them, though, were about Australia.

In one.... I'm in a classroom setting.  Then there's another student..an older woman.  She talks about her travels and I hear Australia mentioned.  It turns out this woman is an Australian fan like me.    

Then the dream changes and we're both in Australia while talking about Australia.  But it's like we're there, but not there; maybe sort of like virtual reality.  

I feel incapable of getting this woman to understand that I'm like her—a fan of Australia.   

I'm not sure if her ignorance of my Australia love was because I didn't speak up enough or if she was very self-involved.

I've been with people who talk so much that there's barely an opportunity to say, Yeah, me too!  And if I do manage to say that, they don't really seem to hear it.  Or at least they don't acknowledge it.  

In the second dream, I'm in an office setting.  There's a woman with Anorexia.   Her husband is a jerk and likes his wife the way she is.  He's intent on keeping her thin and not letting her get "fat" (and his definition of fat is not like my definition of fat).  I take this woman to a nearby eating disorder clinic. It feels weird finally going to one, since I never went to one when I had an eating disorder. 

A person who doesn't work at the clinic refers to me as fat (can't remember who).  What stings is the counselors don't contradict this. I feel fat, ignored, and jealous of the anorexic women who are getting all the help and compassion. There's the idea that if I was thin, I'd be treated better here. 

Then this Australian woman shows up.  She's an older woman, and I know her from my past.  I like her and feel some bit of comfort from her presence.  She tells me she had a dream in which a baby named Adina Beth (my birth name) told this woman that she (the baby) would one day be coming to Australia.   I'm impressed with this woman's dream, figure the baby was me, and I tell the woman it sounds very spiritual.   

In the last dream, we're in Australia hanging out with friends (I don't know who they were...another case of strangers that my dream self knows; but I don't).   We're riding in a car and pass a body of water.  I see someone driving their ute into the water.   I point it out and ask if we should be concerned.  Then we see other people doing it, and figure it's some type of new sport.

I guess people decided planking and coning weren't exciting enough.

70. Found an old dream about Qantas.  It's from January 13, 2008.

I'm on a Qantas plane with my family. I'm not sitting by Jack. He sits two rows ahead. There's bad turbulence. Then it stops. Things are too quiet. I remember learning that when the plane gets quiet like this, the plane is about to crash. And it does. It starts speeding down through the air. There's a small bit of hope that it's just doing this on purpose. But I'm doubtful. There's not too much screaming.  It's more like people are heavily disappointment.  

Then we end up crashing in the snow. Everyone is alive. No one is even hurt. We get out of plane. I joke around with pilot that this was the best crash I've ever been in. He doesn't respond much.  It's like he doesn't hear me or is distracted. I also think about how I get to be stranded with all these Australians. 

71. Loved reading Fruitcake's memory lane post.  She describes what life was like during her childhood.    This includes milk delivery and ice delivery.  I just talked to Jack about that the other day—how people didn't use to have refrigerators and freezers.

Fruitcake says that when they went to buy honey or peanut butter, they'd bring their own jars to be filled.    I think that's fascinating.  

One of the things I told Jack recently is that, since I've been a child, there's been HUGE advances in terms of medicine, communication, and entertainment.  Life has totally changed in those regards.   I don't think, though, that there have been huge advances with chore/domestic technology.  I'm sure laundry machines, ovens, refrigerators, toilets, microwaves, etc. have had improvements since the mid- late 1970's (when my memories begin), but I don't think the changes are shocking. I think the huge advancements in those areas occurred before my times.

71. Had a brief dream about Sydney. It's hard to explain, but it involved there being a beginning/front of the city.   Then I also dreamed about blogging.   I sit in a classroom talking to a girl.  She says something that makes me think she's read my blog before.   Then I kind of forget about it as we chat about various things.   Later...suddenly she asks me why I'm so interested in the occult.  Since we've not been talking about that at all, I get the idea she's getting this from having read my blog.  I don't think I'm that much into the occult, though.   I figure she might be an atheist, and with that viewpoint it might seem I'm very interested in occult/supernatural things. 

72. Played around on the Qantas website.

The other day Jack and I talked about going to Australia in October.  It might not be October 2012, but maybe it will be SOME October.

73. Ate Vegemite—a little for breakfast and a little for lunch.

74. Liked these lines from The Power of One.

It is illogical for a man to be too logical.  Some things we must just let stands.  The mystery is more important than any possible explanation. The searcher after truth must search with humanity.   Ruthless logic is the sign of a limited mind. The truth can only add to the sum of what you know, while a harmless mystery left unexplored often adds to the meaning of life. When a truth is not so important, it is better left as a mystery.  

If a mysterious thing makes someone happy and gives their life meaning, why dissect it and burst their bubble?  What's the point of that?

75. Quit reading the Kindle book with the very long title.  I felt bored by the book, and the racism was starting to bother me too much.  It's hard to be tolerant of racism when reading The Power of One.

Still...I had a hard time quitting it.

I'm usually bad at quitting books.  I feel an obligation to persevere, even if I'm bored.   And with offensive material, is it better to avoid it, or is it better to face it and get an understanding of how some people think?

Well, I was still on the fence about quitting or not.  I turned on the Kindle.  Usually, when I click the little switch, the book appears in the place I last finished reading.  But this time it didn't happen.   Instead I was presented with the list of books we have on the Kindle.  It was like the universe was saying, Come on.  Quit the book and start a new one.

I've now started reading Matthew Flinder's book.  

76. Thought of how I get annoyed by imagining people reading my blog when they don't like me or my writing.  So if I don't want people reading my stuff when they don't like it, it probably makes sense that I shouldn't read stuff that I don't like.

It's always nice to give things a chance.  But when I'm consistently bored and unimpressed by something, I should quit.   

77. Began to read Bev's journal of her 2003 trip to Australia. So far, it's very entertaining.

78. Finished reading The Power of One.  I thought it was fantastic.

It reminded me of Harry Potter....in a way.

Peekay starts his life as a loved child.   Then like Harry Potter, he's thrust into a situation where he's lonely and abused.  Later he finds he has certain special talents.  These talents bring him love, admiration, and a belief, from the community, that he's very special....kind of like "the chosen one".

Peekay has a friend named Doc. Their relationship kind of reminded me of Dumbeldore and Harry.

I'm not sure about the title of the book.   I think it was more about the power of MANY.  To me, it was about people helping each other.  It makes me think of what Christian Shepard said. Nobody does it alone, Jack. You needed all of them; and they needed you.  

We all need the support of others to thrive, and we also need to be needed by others.  

79. Started to read Tall Man: The Death of Doomadgee by Chloe Hooper.  I wish it was a fictional story.

Unfortunately, it's not. 

The book is about an Aboriginal man in Queensland who gets arrested for swearing. Then he's beaten to death in prison.

Like families, all countries have skeletons in their closet. The death of Doomadgree is probably one of Australia's ugliest.  

80. Continued to read Matthew Flinder's book.   It has a lot of latitude and longitude.    Usually, my eyes just skip over all that.   But a few times I've plugged in the coordinates into this website.  That's fun.  

Right now, Mr. Flinders and I are hanging out in the Papua New Guinea area.   

81. Continued to read Bev's journal.  I'm loving it!

82.  Went to bed and dreamed that Julian McMahon was one of the stars of Three Men and a Baby.  I also dreamed that I'm wanting Thaao Penghlis to notice me. I'm thinking this is possible because I've transformed myself, and now I look exactly like Thaao Penghlis.  I figure he'll notice someone who looks exactly like him. But it ends up that he doesn't.  

Then later I dreamed that  I'm sitting on a couch next to an Australian woman.  I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that also has whole peanuts.  The woman asks if she can ask me something.  I know what she's going to ask, so I answer before she asks.   I say,  No this isn't an American thing. I add, It's not even a Dina thing. I usually don't like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

83. Found an old Australian dream.  This one is from January 25, 2008.   I talk with my parents about Tim's job situation.  I feel so out of touch with what my parent's want.  They ignore the whole Australia thing.  They don't bring it up. I say we have to balance what I want with what Tim wants and what they want.  My parents add "Jack too".  

Jack wanted the same thing my parents wanted—for us to stay in Fort Worth.

84. Found another Australian related dream.  We get to work with a nice guy from Sydney.  He's a young director.  But then he accidentally hits Jack's face with a rubber band.  Jack gets upset. I'm feeling we won't be able to work with the director now.   Jack won't calm down in time.

Well, that's kind of a bad mothering moment.  It's like I'm more annoyed with Jack for getting hurt then I am at the guy who hurt him.  Yeah.  Okay.  It was an accident.  But since it was his fault, he should have stuck around and worked with us. I shouldn't have needed to worry about getting Jack calmed down in time.  

There was also a dream that night about the people we met at Port Stephens coming to a party at our house.  It's long and confusing, though, so I'll skip writing about it in detail.

85. Thought more about going to Western Australia.   I think my problem is I want to go to so many places in Western Australia  and that would be too expensive.  In addition, Tim has also said he wants to go to Darwin. So I had been thinking of flying to Darwin and then somehow making our way to Perth.  It would be a very long drive or expensive flights.

But I've been reading about Darwin and Kakadu Park. To me it sounds crocodile infested.  It's probably not, but I don't even want to see ONE crocodile in the wild. Give me parrots and kangaroos.  I don't want to see man-eating reptilian monsters.  Sorry.

Anyway, so I told Tim I'd probably want to skip Darwin. He didn't really protest.

I'm thinking we could probably manage just Perth and the surrounding area.   Bev's journal is about Perth, and it's really brainwashing me into wanting to go there.

I'm wondering how we'd fit it in to the schedule. I'm thinking we'd maybe skip the Victoria driving trip.   We could just do Melbourne for a week; then fly to Perth and spend time there.

86. Hoped that my fictional trip to Australia will give me ideas of where to go.

No.  Wait.  I shouldn't say that. I have PLENTY of ideas about places to go. There's too many.

But maybe reading about these places, and imagining being there, will help me decide where I want to go in real life.   

87. Talked to Tim about Western Australia.   He was over Darwin. Now his thing is Broome.  We looked at the price and distance, though.   It's not easily workable.  I'm hoping we can find a Broome type place near Perth.  If anyone has any ideas, please speak up.

I'm thinking Shark Bay might be nice.  We could stay in Perth, go to the Pinnacles, and then drive up north to some beachy place.   

88. Did some research, thinking, and talking with Tim and Jack.  I think I'm going to aim for us going to Australia in October 2014 or 2015.

I'm annoyed at myself for obsessing over this so much.  Maybe I jinx myself by planning and dreaming.

89. Received my Powells package.  It came earlier than expected.

I have so many books now!

90. Continued to read The Tall Man: The Death of Doomadgee.  I'm getting a lot of insight that I didn't get from reading online. It really goes into a lot of detail, and shows the negative aspects of both the white side and the black side.   And yeah. In this, there definitively are two sides. 

The main villain of the story is Chris Hurley.  He'd different than I imagined.   From what I read online, I saw him as a brutal sadistic racist psychopath who got away with murder.  Now I'm seeing something different.  I see him as a man who tried be to be good and WAS partly good, but he also had a bad side.  That bad side took over, and he ended the life of another. 

I think there's probably a lot of people out there like Chris Hurley. They're relatively decent. Then someone rubs them the wrong way, and they get violent.

I haven't finished the book, though. I might end up reading things later that makes me see the whole situation differently.  

91. Went to bed and dreamed that my younger sister starts a journal.  It has writing but also includes some cool stop motion animation.  We're sitting at the table and my dad proudly makes an announcement about my sister's journal.  He thinks it's wonderful.  I'm very angry and jealous, because he has never given my blog that type of attention.

The dream ended up being quite okay because next I angrily ran away and flew up into the sky to go to my Dream City.  There I was reunited with my lover from a previous dream. In that previous dream we had worked at Jurassic Park together and had shared meals of jalapeno poppers.  My man died at the park....killed by dinosaurs, I presume.  But in the dream city, we could be together again.

I also dreamed about some place with kangaroos.  It was a tourist shop, I think.  

92. Found an old dream about Australia.   It's from January 27, 2008.  I tell Andrea that I homeschool Jack. . She puts down unschooling and says eventually I will have to stop this. I feel like saying something like "And you can't stop me."

I tell Andrea that Jack knows the capitals of Australia. This seems to pacify her, but she wants to see for herself.

We go upstairs to find Jack. He's busy playing with my dad and toy animals. 

There was also a dream that night where someone on Livejournal said they wanted to hear about my marriage problems and not my Australia stuff.  I guess even then I was feeling self-conscious and rejected regarding certain aspects of myself.

With some people I feel pressured to stop talking about personal stuff.  They seem to only want to hear about Australia.  With other people I feel I have to avoid talking about Australia.   They don't want to hear about that.    

What I need to keep reminding myself is I have a right to write whatever I want on my blog—even if it bores some people.  And people who come to my blog have a right to read what interests them, and they have a right to skip over that which is boring to them.

I really need to just write and not worry about who's reading what.

93. Watched video of The Church singing "Unguarded Moment".   It's a song on the CD that Jayne from Gleeful made me.



Jayne's CD had a cover of the song by Dead Letter Chorus, Wagons, and Ned Collete Band. I like that one better; but maybe it's because I heard it first.

It's probably my favorite of the songs on the CD.

I think my iTunes DJ's favorite song on the CD is Lisa Mitchell singing "Pirouette". He's played it several times for me.

94. Bitten suddenly by the home-decorating and rearranging bug.  I played around with our bookshelves and created an Australian-themed shelf.  It's on the playroom bookshelf, which is where we put our children's books.  So I put the Aussie children's books on the shelf.   I added a flag, an empty Vegemite jar, and some Aussie animal toys.  

95. Finished reading Tall Man: The Death of Doomadgee.

It's a tragic illustration of the unfairness of life.

I still think Chris Hurley was probably a mixture of good and bad rather than pure evil.   But his police brutality caused the death of someone, and he wasn't convicted. It's not right.

The lives of Aboriginal people on Palm Island aren't right either.  There's excessive alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, and other horrific problems.

I think some of it can be blamed on the sins of white people; but I don't think all of it can.

96. Decided my addictions include buying used Australian books and planning out Australian trips on Google maps.

97.  Thought about Monkey Mia before getting up and out of bed this morning.  Then I fell back asleep and it turned into a dream.   There's a school group seeing the dolphins.  The guide/worker at Monkey Mia asks one of the kids to do some type of chore.   The child refuses.   The guide/worker is annoyed.  He tries to guilt the child into working by saying if the child cares about animals, he needs to help.  

98. Stayed asleep and had another dream.  We're on a Qantas plane.   I'm reading a book. Suddenly, the plane starts dropping.  I decide I should probably stop reading. I'm a little scared we might be crashing, but I figure it's just turbulence.  There's a voice on the intercom, maybe the pilot.  I can barely hear him, but he doesn't sound panicked.  It sounds like he's just giving facts and figures.

I think about how I haven't been keeping track of time, and I wonder how long we've been in the air.   Then suddenly I see we're on the street.  We're landed.   The pilot says something like Oh well.  That happens sometimes.   I'm wondering where we are.  

99. Figured this post is getting long, so I'll probably start a new one soon.  I'll post this one when I'm ready to start posting again.

I think for my next post I'm going slowly to get back to doing all my internet stuff...Flickr, Tallygarunga, trivia, etc.    I love all that stuff enough to jump back in full force. It's just that I also love all this extra time I now have.

It might be hard getting back into full time blogging.

100. Learned, from Matthew Flinders, that wombat tastes like mutton.

I've never had mutton before, though.  

I did have lamb once.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online