Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Jane Badler, Memories, Closed Doors, and Skeletons

1. Decided that I think the sexist men on Offspring are Darcy Proudman and Patrick Reid.

2. Consulted Lord Wiki about Matthew Le Nevez who plays Patrick on Offspring.

He was born in Canberra, and he's younger than my little sister.  Being attracted to people younger than my sister makes me feel old.  

Oh well.  I guess it's okay.  

3. Learned that Jane Badler who played Diana in the original (and better) V now lives in Australia!   She's a nightclub singer there.

She also is on Offspring.

And holy crap....she's on the NEW V!!!!!!

What?  Why didn't anyone tell me this? 

She plays Diana.  The same Diana?   Really??!!

4. Saw that Jane Badler has also been on Neighbours, Blue Heelers, and Snowy River: The McGregor saga.

5. Had vague memory, and am now thinking maybe Tim did tell me she was on V.  Well, I remember him telling me that some actress is on something.  I was kind of excited about it, but too lazy to stick around to see.

You know my memory is so bad now.  I should start being like Guy Pearce in Memento.  

No, I know I'm not that bad...yet.   But sometimes I feel like I'm heading in that direction.  

6. Talked to Tim about V.  He was unaware of the fact that an 1980's V actress was in the 2011 V.   So maybe the Jane Badler news is new to me.  That's good. It's really crazy to get excited about news that's not new to you.  

7. Saw Jane Badler on Offspring.  I don't know if it's my imagination, but she seems to have a bit of that alien reptilian echo to her voice.

It's probably my imagination.

8. Saw that Derryn Hinch, an Australian radio-broadcaster was given a liver transplant. I guess last night?  That's kind of weird because Greg's brother just had a liver transplant.

I guess it's not weird.  I'm sure liver transplants are happening all the time. It just seems weird to me because we're getting emails about Greg's brother's recovery; then I see Australian headline news and it's about liver transplants.

9. Tried to wrap my head around the Rupert Murdoch thing.  I finally looked at an article .  There was stuff about tabloids and murders, and then Hugh Grant jumped into the picture.   He said, Because so many of the victims up until now have been [celebrities] - not to put a too fine a point on it - it's difficult to get people to really care.

I thought there was some celebrity-murderer out there.

What Hugh Grant said sounds strange to me.  I thought it was the opposite, really. Since when do people care more about regular people than they do celebrities?

Anyway, it turns out celebrities are victims of phone hacking not murder.  Murder is worse, but phone hacking is bad too. 

10. Read this article about the tabloid reporter phone hacking story.  It's so disgusting and sad.   The reporters hack into phones to get juicy stories for their tabloid.  Invading the privacy of celebrities is bad enough, but they hacked into the phone of a missing child. Not only did they listen to messages, but they deleted old messages to make room for new messages. Why?

I hate people who do such horribly inconsiderate things for personal gain.

I hate serial killers even more.

11. Decided to take my joke about Memento seriously.  I'm going to go back to writing important things about my life in my private journal (same place where I keep my dreams).

This is the thing.  I get hurt by things people have done. Then sometimes when I confront them; they deny that it ever happened.   Or they say something along the lines of, we don't remember it, but if you believe it happened, we're very sorry.  

It makes me feel like they think I'm crazy.  And then I start thinking maybe I'm crazy.

So it makes me feel better when I write things down. Then I know it really happened, and it wasn't in my imagination.

The tricky thing is sometimes I go back and read a journal;  I read about something negative that I had forgotten about.  I then remember, and I become angry again.  I add more fuel to the fire; and sometimes I add fuel to a fire that had burned out.   Is that wise?   Would it be better if I had just let it go?  But then maybe I subconsciously remember, and it causes me grief that way.

I get vague ideas about people.  For example, one person might make me feel like a loser every time I'm around them.   If I go back later and read in my journal that she rolled her eyes at me when I told her something very personal; then it might partly explain where these feelings come from.  

I don't know.  Maybe it's the wrong thing to do.  But I don't like doubting what has happened in my past.  I don't like fearing that I may have imagined things or invented memories.   I don't fully trust my memory....even though as far as I know my problem is losing memories, not inventing them. I do FULLY trust that I'm very honest when I write things down in my journal or blog.   So if I write something down, if I look at it two years later....I can have full proof that it happened, even if everyone else denies it.

12. Went to bed and had a dream about Australia.  What else is new?

I'm at the airport with Tim.  I'm heading to Tasmania alone to visit our friends.  I was there in the morning, and now I'm returning later in the day.   I had started baking something at their house, and left the ingredients in the mixing bowl.  I plan to finish the project when I get there, but I'm hoping they put the bowl in the refrigerator for me.  I'm worried it would have gone bad otherwise.

I get on the plane.  I'm slightly worried that our friends won't pick me up at the airport.  I'm a bit nervous that I'll be stuck in Tasmania with nowhere to stay.  Yet it seems I'm slightly intrigued by the challenge.  

I realize I've left my backpack and the camera with Tim.  I rush off the plane to get it.  Then when I head back to the plane, I see they have closed the door to the tarmac.  I'm in a state of disbelief.  I'm thinking it's just a bluff and they'll open the doors.  Other people have been locked out too, and they're protesting.

I'm not sure what any of that means.  The mixing bowl full of ingredients may sound very symbolic; but I think that's from the fact that yesterday Jack put flour in a bowl with plans to bake something, then left to go shopping with Tim.

13. Saw that the ban on live transport to Indonesia has been lifted.  Well, that didn't last long.

The government says that things are going to be better for the animals this time.

I want to believe them, but I'm a bit skeptical.

I think I'd feel better with detailed explanations of how things will be improved.   Joe Ludwig the Minister for Agriculture says, Tonight I can announce the Government has lifted the suspension on live exports to Indonesia... because a number of key conditions for resumption have been met.   

What are these key conditions? How is the government guaranteed they've been met; and how will they know the conditions continue to be met?

14. Learned from Lord Wiki's cousin that Jane Badler plays Diana in V, but she's not the same Diana.   That makes sense since in the premier of the new V, the alien thing seemed new to the humans.   Otherwise, when the spaceships arrived, the humans should have said Hey, remember when the aliens were here like twenty-five years ago and they all had big 1980's hair?  

15. Read a sad blog post written by a Canadian who has moved to Australia. Or she's moving to Australia. Tinkertine is having a rough time because she's very homesick.

I end up feeling a little guilty when I read stuff like this because I wanted to move to Australia so much.   Would I have ended up feeling so horrible?  Would I have ended up full of depression and regret?

Then I go back to feeling jealous because I know that homesickness comes in waves.  It's hard being an expat, but I think it's also a huge gift.  

I read blogs of expats sometimes.   They have their different moods.  There's the I-miss-my-family days; there's the this-country-is-so-inferior-to-my-country days; there's the I-might-actually-manage-to-survive-here days; and there's the It's-fantastic-that-we're-here-this-is-a-great-opportunity days.

I hope Tinkertines starts having lots of happy days. 

16. Read depressing story about elderly woman who died in Sydney, and it took eight years for her body to be discovered.  She was missing from the world, and no one even noticed.  

Who's to blame?  I don't know.

Obviously she didn't have close family and friends.  If she chose to be reclusive, maybe it's mostly her fault.   But what if she reached out to people and was too often rejected?  What if that's what made her a recluse?  

17. Read article that says the skeleton of a huge marsupial was found in Queensland. 

The name of the animal is Diprotodon Optatum.  I guess that's the Latin name?

The animal isn't new to scientists.  They have a replica of it at the Australia Museum, actually. But what's special about the finding is this is the first time a full skeleton has been found.  

18. Went to Tallygarunga.   I'm going to read the most recent post added to A Little Magic Won't Hurt.  This is the story thread with Oliver and Roxanne. Oliver has caught Roxanne singing, and she's a bit shy about singing in front of people.

Oliver says something interesting.  Relax, girly. I’m not a Sturt, so I don't attack pretty girls or anything.   Are Sturt guys known for attacking girls?

19. Struggled again to find the description of the houses in Tallygarunga. Why do I keep forgetting the location?

It's on the page about the graduates.  I need to remember that. 

Anyway, Sturt students are quiet, clever, and ambitious.   Well, no....I didn't expect it to say, quiet, clever, ambitious, and violent with girls.  

I do wonder what Oliver meant though.

Maybe he was joking, and that's all.  

20. Felt less alone and disturbed when I found this blog post.   It's a blogger who's like me in the fact that she's hurt her family doesn't read her blog more.  And then there's a lot of commenters who express the same feelings.

I can relate a lot to the comments.

What does it mean when someone never or rarely reads your blog?  I'm super busy and you're way down low on my list of priorities?   I love you, but I'm not at all interested in what's on your mind?   I have zero interest in your interests and passions?

I envy those lucky people who have family members that read their blog, comment on their blog, and even promote their blog.   I do that for Jack.  Well, I don't comment because he's like me and has comments disabled.  But I do let him know when I've read his blog. 

Since I write way too much, I don't expect my family and friends to read everyday, and/or read the entire posts.  It would be nice if they dropped by a couple of times a week to see what's going on with me. 

That would be lovely.

And no it's not a matter of them not knowing I want them to read my blog.   I've told them my wishes in person, and complained to them about my hurt feelings.   I have links to my blog (and other stuff) as my email signature.  So I'm not being coy about the whole thing.       

21. Decided that I should add Jack's blog to my email signature.  I feel bad that I didn't do that before; but my excuse is he didn't really update his blog a lot in his past.  Now he's better at that.

22. Wondered if there are people who feel the opposite; that their family members give their blogs too much attention.  I know of bloggers who got upset when family members found their blog.   But I think it's because they didn't want them there in the first place.   They want to keep things private. Or like the Gertrude Stein line often quoted in The Day I Became an Autodidact.   I write for myself and strangers.    Although the family of the autodidact seemed to take an active interest in her writing.

I'm not like that.  I'm an open book....or I used to be.   Now I'm a closed one with a lot of people.   My feeling is if they don't bother to ever read my blog, they're not really interested in what's happening in my life or what I'm feeling.   So why should I bother?   If someone reads your blog fairly regularly and says, What's going on with you?  they're truly saying, I'm really interested.  Please tell me about your life.  It's interesting to me.    If they rarely or never read your blog, they're simply asking an empty question just to be polite.   Then you just say something like fine, nothing, great, okay, etc.   Of course, I'm talking about close friends and family members. I'm not expecting every friend, distant cousin, and acquaintance to be fans of my blog.  

23. Learned that my Australian of the day is Theodore Ambrose.  He was a medical practitioner.   That's the same as a doctor.  Right?

Theodore was born in South Australia in 1890.  His dad died when he was a toddler, and his mum died when he was a tween.   He went to live his grandparents.  His four siblings probably went to live with them as well.

Theodore got his medical education in Adelaide, but then moved to Sydney.

He got married in 1904, and then they moved to Perth to be with Theodore's sister.

His thing was infectious disease—pathology.

There's something interesting here.  Theodore had major hearing problems.  The Australian Dictionary of Biography says this was actually helpful to him in surgery, because it helped him to concentrate.  I guess he was less distracted by auditory stimuli?

24. Suspected my blog is loading slower because of the embedded videos.   I decided it might lower the amount of videos on the page if I have only one blog post up on the main page instead of seven.

I think it worked.
25. Wrote down something to remember in my private journal.  It was actually a good thing, not a bad one.  Someone was very nice to me.   I think it's important for me to write down happy things too, because sometimes I might also forget the good things people have done.