Sunday, November 13, 2011

August, Personalty Types, Melissa McGregor, and February

1. Found something in my dream journal that might be meaningful. I had one of those hypnagogic things.

It's from August 15 2007, which is around the time we bought the plane tickets to Australia, and I became super obsessed.

I wrote....Popped into head: (or sort of dream) W. family upstairs (they were here for b-day party) Ally says something about George and Philip. Or Arthur and Philip. Either way, I got sense she was talking of British Royalty.

It's interesting, because Arthur Phillip is an important character in Australian history. He was the first governor of New South Wales. He's the one who led the First Fleet over to Australia.

I'm pretty sure I hadn't known that yet.

2. Figured out, by other stuff written in Livejournal, that we probably bought the plane tickets on August 16.

I want to have a date—an anniversary.   It was a very important day in my life.

3. Saw from Statcounter that Lillian Roxon is a VERY popular subject on my blog today.

What's going on?

4. Realized and remembered that Lillian is the aunt of the Labor Member of Parliament (Nicola Roxon). I was thinking Lillian was Nicola.

I had it all confused.

So, it's probably not a news event.  Maybe there was a documentary on last night about Lillian?

5. Learned from Lord Wiki that a documentary was made in 2010 about Lillian Roxon.   Maybe it was on TV last night?  

6. Cringed when I read these lines in The Song of An Innocent Bystander.

I am the invisible man, answered O'Grady.  I'm the neighbor you thought was friendly.  I'm the guy on the street you didn't give a second chance to.  I'm the manager who thought if he did all the right things he'd get the promotion.  I'm the jerk that everyone thought they could walk right over.  I was nothing to them.  Nobody!

I can relate to those feelings right now.  I've often related to them through out my life. That would be fine, except O'Grady is a crazed gunman holding people hostage at a fast food restaurant.

I hate when I can relate to the bad guy in the story.

I'm not too worried that I'll become a crazed gun woman. It totally goes against my moral principles.   I don't believe in gaining things by violence.

At worst, I'll become a total bitch.

No.  I probably won't become that either.  This morning while getting the cats' food prepared I had deep thoughts and figured out the root of my problem.

I have this psychology book.  I'm not big on psychology, but I like this book. It's called the Personality Self-Portrait.    It divides people into different personality types.   It's fine to have any of these personality types, but if you have one too strong then you're labeled as being disordered.

The personality types are conscientious self-confident, devoted, dramatic, vigilant, sensitive, leisurely, adventurous, idiosyncratic, solitary, mercurial, self-sacrificing, and aggressive.

I think the four that fit my personality best are dramatic, idiosyncratic, conscientious and sensitive.   That means I like attention.  I'm weird.  I'm sometimes a bit rigid about things. And my feelings are easily hurt. 

However, in life I've taken on the role of being self-sacrificing. Some people are very fitted for this.   They love to be the wind beneath the wings.  They don't need to be in the spotlight.  What they love and what they need is to feel needed. They love to do things for other people. They love to be known as "the supportive one".

I'm not going to say I don't like that. I do love helping people. I do love feeling needed. I do love that I get compliments on my ability to listen and be supportive.

It's just I want more.

As the book says about dramatic people.  Compliments and praise are like food and water to persons with Dramatic style; they need them to go on. 

That's very true about me.  The problem is I rarely get compliments.  And if I do, it's usually about how I'm supportive.   

If I fit the self-sacrificing personality, that would TOTALLY be enough.  But this is what the book says about them.  They are neither boastful nor proud, and they're uncomfortable being fussed over.  Self-sacrificing men and women do not like being the center of attention; they are uneasy in the limelight. 

That is so not me.   I am sometimes uneasy in the limelight, but that's only because I'm shy. I'm uneasy, but I'm also loving it.

7. Realized I don't know how to fix my problem.  I don't think it would work to say to people....Oh, thank you!   I'm glad you think I'm supportive.  That's awesome.  Now can you go read my novel and tell me I'm a fantastic writer.

I can't change the way people see me.  I can't force people to see me in a way they don't want to see me.

I guess it just helps me to understand myself.

I know a lot of people look down at dramatic folks.  We hold self-sacrificing people in higher-esteem.  The meek shall inherit the earth.   But I'm fine with who I am.   I know I'm not alone.  I know many of the writers, actors, musicians, artists, etc. that I admire are the same way.

I also know that I'm not 100% dramatic.  My sensitive side plays a huge role too. It's that part of me that wants to be supportive.  I don't support people in order to sacrifice myself.  I support them because it makes me sad to see someone accomplish something and not get attention for it.   It makes me sad to see someone struggling with a problem and not get enough empathy and sympathy.  I know how that feels, and I hate to see other people feeling the same way.  

8. Decided to check the Australian dollar.

I think I'm going to try to check every Wednesday and Sunday.

Anyway....it's at 1.01 American dollars. I like that.  I forgot what it was the last time I checked; but I'm pretty sure it was much higher.

It's worth .64 British pounds.

It's worth 6.79 Swedish kroner.

And it's worth 78.64 Japanese yen.

9. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to read another Riley Lightfoot story. It's called Dare to Enter?

Along with Riley, we also have a third year student named Melissa McGregor.

The name makes me think of Peter Rabbit.

10. Saw that the story takes place on the grounds of Tallygarunga on October 28.

When did the story, I read yesterday, take place?

I'm going to go look.....

11.  Looked at Trapped in Tedium.   It takes place on November 2. 

So now I'm going a few days back in time.

12. Started to read.

Riley's post talks about his prankster's block problem.   He wants to have a good idea, but it's not happening for him.

This was still the case on November 2.

13.  Saw that Riley has a way to deal with prankster's block. While waiting for a grand idea to come to your brain, you busy yourself with smaller pranks.

That's probably a good remedy for writer's block as well.  If a writer can't think of their next big novel, song, screenplay, etc; they can write something small.

14. Continued to read.

Riley has set up a prank involving lots of ping-pong balls.

I think Melissa is going to end up being the victim.

I wonder if she'll like it or not.

15. Liked this line in Melissa's post. Melissa skipped across the grounds, smiling as wide as- well as wide as any smile could be without ripping muscles

I think that's a very cute way of describing a happy person.

16. Learned that Melissa has a new pet mouse. I guess that's why she's happy.

The mouse reminds her of her brother, and Melissa starts to sort of wonder if he could be an unregistered Animagus.

17. Imagined if one of our cats was an Animagus.

I don't think I'd like that.

Well....

I guess it might be interesting.

18.  Thought Riley was sweet.  He worried about pulling the prank around the mouse—worried that it would get hurt.

He did it anyway, but at least he CONSIDERED the safety of the rodent.

Hopefully, the mouse will be okay.

19. Saw that Melissa was fine with prank.  The girl has a sense of humor. Being in a room with flying ping-pong balls didn't diminish her happy mood at all.

20. Liked this part about Riley.  

Riley grinned to himself. Not only did his prank work perfectly, but it also achieved his desired effect. He had wanted the prankee to have a good laugh. Aside from revenge, making people laugh and have fun was the only reason he even bothered with pranks. What was life without a bit of laughter? 

I agree.   Life without laughter would be absolutely awful.

21. Felt guilty about what I said the other day—about feeling pressure to be funny and upbeat when I'm feeling awful.  I had it in my head that I was doing it for other people.  That's not completely true.  I make jokes to make myself feel better too.  There's almost always humor in a situation.  Sometimes you have to really dig for it....ike if someone recently got a horrible medical diagnosis.

On the day I was rejected so swiftly in the audition, I was really upset.  I felt I had to write about it; get my feelings out.  Tim and Jack went on a Star Wars ride, and we were due soon in Germany for lunch.  I rushed back to the room so I could write.  I had that time alone, which I needed.   While I was writing, I cried. But I was laughing at the same time.

Even though I was hurt I could still see the humor in the situation.

We really had no doubts that I'd make it into the show. It's not that any of us had that much faith in my singing ability.  Well, I sort of do when I'm feeling delusional.  But really. We thought they were desperate and taking EVERYBODY who was willing to embarrass themselves.  I thought it was just a matter of showing up.

Then the next thing I knew I was being rejected.

I'm feeling more rational now and understand it probably wasn't my singing.   I'm not a great singer; but it's unlikely that I'm absolutely awful.  I am pretty sure it more of an age issue. American Idol practices age discrimination. You have to under twenty-nine to be on the show. For the Disney World program they don't have the same rule, but I think they prefer younger contestants.  The prize for the ultimate winner of the day is a ticket to get in front of the real American Idol audition lines.   If a person over twenty-eight wins, they can't use the prize.  

I think when they're desperate enough, Disney will take in us elderly people. When they're getting enough young singers, they reject the elderly.

On one of the final shows, there was a FANTASTIC singer. Her name was Cindy Ramirez. I made sure to remember that in case she becomes super famous one day.  At some point they asked her something and she said she couldn't go on the real American Idol show.  She's too old. I liked that she mentioned it.    

I don't know.  I felt she was bringing attention to the fact that American Idol discriminates. I'm not sure if most people are aware of that. I also hope it reminded people that talent doesn't disappear when people reach their thirties.

22.  Started to read the biography of Melissa McGregor.

Her name's cute. I like it.

23. Saw that Melissa is a Flinders student like Reade Ainsworth.  She's thirteen.

She doesn't have a face claim.

24. Learned Melissa is short and chubby.  Maybe that's why she doesn't have a face claim.   Face claim people are usually actors and actresses.  I'm not sure there's many young chubby actresses out there to choose from.

25. Liked this about Melissa.  She tends to wear loud, chunky jewelry that gets caught on everything. She wears it with no heed paid to the fact that it may clash horribly with whatever she is wearing.

She sounds fun.

26. Liked this as well.

She's a mothering person and doesn't let anyone be nasty to her friends. However, she wouldn't hex a bully and if someone did she'd make sure that the poor little bully was okay.

I think I'm sort of like that too.

I definitely feel worse for the victim.  But then if people gang up on the bully, I'll probably then feel bad for him/her.

27.  Thought that I'm very different from Melissa in some ways.

It says here.  She finds socializing easy and loves talking to people. And talking. And then talking some more. She's a chatterbox. She tends to babble and is utterly oblivious to the fact that the person is barely listening to her monologue. If she does realize, she laughs it off and finds it funny.

I'm sometimes a chatterbox, but I'm very self-conscious about it. I sit there worrying that I'm boring the person. I wonder if they're listening. I feel I should hurry up and shut up.

28. Loved this line about Melissa.  She has many many friends-or so she thinks. She thinks almost the entire Tally is her BFF. She doesn't have many close friends, but she appreciates all her friends-all 200 of them. 

I think there are a lot of people like Melissa, especially in these Facebook days where people can claim they have five hundred friends.

29.  Started to read Melissa's history.

Her dad was a wizard.

Her mom was a Muggle, but wasn't new to the wizarding world. Her sister was a witch.

Melissa has five siblings.

30. Saw that my Australian of the day is Francis Henry Joseph Archer

I don't think he was related to the big Archer family I've been coming across lately.

What's interesting though is that Francis' birthday was February 20.

This week I've written about an Archer born on February 22, then February 21, and now February 20.

31. Learned that Francis Archer was born in Ballarat.

32. Learned that Archer became a teacher.

33. Learned that Archer played cricket.

34. Learned that Archer became headmaster of Trinity Grammar School in Sydney.   

Then later he went to Melbourne to became headmaster of Caulfield Grammar School.

35. Reminded by Lord Wiki that Hamish Blake went to Caulfield Grammar School. It wasn't when Francis Archer was headmaster, though.

Archer resigned in 1954.  That's about twenty-seven years before Hamish Blake was even born.

36. Returned to Fredweng's Australian Flickr photos.  I'm still on day 1.  I'm looking at one page of photos per day.

Today I'm doing the last page. Tomorrow I'll start on day 2.  

37. Wondered what's happening at the Rocks Market in this photo. It looks like there's some type of
concert.  

38. Thought this was a pretty photo of the Sydney Opera House.  

39. Went to Funtrivia to take another Australia quiz.

This one's called What Do You Know About Australia?  

Hopefully, I'll know something.

40. Got the second question wrong.  I'm not surprised.   It's about explorers.   I'm bad with explorers.

Anyway....

I was reminded that the first white people to cross the Blue Mountains were Blaxland, Lawson, and Wentworth.

I remember Wentworth now. Blaxland and Lawson don't really ring a bell.

Was the Lawson guy related to Henry Lawson?

41. Consulted Lord Wiki about Lawson.  His name was William Lawson.  Lord Wiki doesn't say anything about him being related to Henry.

42. Got question four wrong and learned the largest desert in Australia is the Great Victoria Desert.

Ah....I think I remember that one.   It's the desert that's not really in Victoria. It's in South Australia and Western Australia.

43.  Finished the quiz. I got 8/10 which is higher than the average (7/10). 

Now I can feel all self-satisfied....at least for a few minutes.

44. Saw that the question with the least correct answers was the desert one.   Only 29% of people answered it correctly.  So I'm not the only one ignorant about Australian deserts. 

The question that most people get right is one about Canberra being the capital.  91% of people have gotten that right.

I'm glad I'm one of them.

45. Wanted to say if anyone was interested in the personality types I talked about earlier, I found a link to a test.  I think it's the same as the one in the book.

I just took the test and was surprised by the answer.

My highest score was for the vigilant personality type.

My second highest scores were in the dramatic and mercurial categories. 

I guess I've changed since the last time I took the test.

46. Read the descriptions in the book and thought the personality types don't fit me well.   Then I realized it's because I'm not 100% any of them.  We're all mixes.   So aspects of my vigilant self contradicts my mercurial self.   Mercurial people put 110% of themselves into a relationship.   I can't do that because the vigilant part of myself is all distrustful towards people and relationships.

Besides the relationship bit, I think I fit the mercurial thing pretty well.

And yeah.   I think vigilant fits me too.