Thursday, July 12, 2012

Billie Proudman and The Singing Lady

Today I've been watching  Offspring's thirteenth episode of season 3. It might be the season finale, but I'm not positive.  

I have various thoughts about Billie's storyline.

She's jealous of her husband's relationship with his female singing colleague. She worries there's something going on between them. She worries this something will lead to more somethings. She also worries that she's being an irrational jealous bitch. She's insecure about her relationship.  She's insecure about herself.

As a viewer, I don't think she's an irrational jealous bitch. Her feelings seem very reasonable to me.

But then I was thinking, maybe this is because I saw what she didn't see. I saw that Mick (her husband) and the singing lady did almost kiss.They definitely had a moment. 

I also saw them having many bonding moments when Billie was away in New Zealand.

What if I didn't see these moments? Would I see Billie's feelings and actions in a different way?   Would I be less tolerant of her?

It brings up some of the classic questions. Can men and women be friends without any romance or sex involved?  Or to put it in a more inclusive way: can people be just-friends with someone of the gender they're naturally attracted to?

If friendship is okay, are there limits?

Let's say we think it's okay to chat at work. It's okay to have an occasional lunch date or see an occasional movie together. It's okay to exchange emails on a semi-regular basis.  

But what about multiple dates in a week? Frequent late night phone calls? Deep soul-searching discussions?  

Can we have a deep and involved friendship, with someone of the gender we're attracted to without our feelings becoming romantic?

What if there's a deep intense friendship outside the partnership that doesn't involve sex or romance.   Is jealousy at all warranted then? Or should jealousy be reserved for romantic relationships only?

Where do we draw the line between a normal and healthy sense of wanting to be #1 in our partner's life and being an abusive and possessive partner?  Or is it never healthy to desire and insist on being #1 in our partner's life?  

Is it okay to ever be jealous? When is jealousy normal? When is it pathological?

If we're feeling jealous, what behaviors are acceptable? What behaviors are not acceptable?

If our partner spends a lot of time with someone, and they have a strong bond, is it okay to get upset over this? And is it okay for them to get angry at us for being upset?

Is it wrong to ask them if anything's going on?

Is it wrong to complain that they're spending more time with the other friend than us?

Is it wrong to suggest to our partner that this new friend seems to be seeking more than friendship?

Is it okay to snoop through emails and phone logs?

Is it okay to forbid our partner to see this person?

Then how about the other side of the spectrum?

What if someone shows no jealousy?

What if our partner has no problem with us being close friends with someone else?  Should we be happy for our freedom or worry that we're not loved enough?

What if we confess to a crush or an affair, and our partner doesn't act bothered at all? Would this be a good thing or a bad thing?  

If Billie was totally okay with Mick's friendship with the singing lady, how would we perceive her?   Would we think she was really cool and level-headed, or knowing what we know, would we see her as being naive?

Edited to Add: I've now finished watching the episode.

It was the season finale.

I loved it. I thought it was beautiful.

It made me cry.

I'm a sucker for happy endings, especially ones involving reconciliation.