Thursday, January 26, 2017

The One Good Thing about Donald Trump Being President

I really wanted to write a post about Donald Trump, but I hate writing non-Australian posts on my blog.  So I'm going to use this article as an excuse.  It says that Trump might make it harder for Australians (and others) to visit America. Visitors might have to be interviewed before being let inside.

What kind of interview? Would it be a long and scary interview?  Or would it be like the short, easy interview that we go through when we visit Australia? From what I remember, the immigration officials just quickly asked us where we were staying and whether we were there for business or pleasure.

Does the US not have that?  Is that what's going to be added? Or is that short question session standard in all countries, and the US is going to add some kind of grueling question session?

Anyway, my initial feeling when reading the article was, why would foreigners WANT to visit the US now?  I personally would wait four years, and hopefully things will go back to being relatively-kind of great.

But I vaguely remember talking to someone who told me he likes to visit countries before they go completely to shit...take that last chance. So maybe some foreigners might want to come to the US before we completely implode. Or they might want to come before most of the world's population dies in a nuclear war.

Anyway...let me get onto the other thing I wanted to talk about—the one good thing about Donald Trump.  This is coming from me who is in no way a Trump supporter.  I hate the man.  Of course, if a Trump supporter is reading this, I totally understand that, for them, there will be more than one good thing about Trump. It's all about perspective.

MY one good thing about Trump is that I think he's giving us great guidance in how NOT to act.  I predict that we will see a lot of behavior improvements —in ourselves, family members, partners, co-workers, neighbors, friends, etc.

This would probably only apply to haters of Trump or people who feel so-so about Trump. People who are fans of Trump might actually use Trump's behavior as something to aspire to.

Now I'm going to guess that most of us anti-Trump people are open to immigration and believe in the fair and decent treatment of people of all genders, sexual preferences, abilities, ethnic groups, religions, etc. So I don't think Trump's behavior is going to be much of a wake-up call in that direction.

Well...,maybe for some it will?  Maybe there are people who are a tiny bit bigoted and seeing the ugly, overt bigotry of some Trump fans will make them want to let go of their bigotry.

But besides is my list.  Sorry it took so long for me to get to it.

1. I think Trump will help people realize that it is NOT okay to lie and/or engage in gaslighting tactics. Yes, it's okay to say your husband looks good in that ugly new shirt he bought. And yes, it's not so bad to tell your Aunt Ida that you love her dry chocolate cake.

But it is very much NOT okay to claim something didn't happen when it in fact did happen. And this lying is even worse when someone has actually witnessed it happening.

If you spilled coffee on the couch, and your partner asks about it, tell her the truth!  Don't let her start wondering if someone broke into the house and spilled coffee.  Don't let her start believing you guys have a poltergeist...or worse, lead her into believing that she spilled the coffee, and she can't remember it, because she's losing her mind.

If your partner actually saw you spill the coffee with her own very eyes and mentions it a week later, don't sit there and try to deny it. PLEASE! just own up to it.

If you did something worse than spilling coffee-whether intentional or not- let the injured person be angry. Apologize and try to make amends. You're not doing yourself or them any favors by denying it happened. They MIGHT pretend to believe you, and they might pretend they're okay with things, but they're probably stewing inside. Or they're questioning their sanity, and their self-worth is plummeting.

I'll give you one exception. If the person you wronged is dangerous and might kill you if they know you've wronged them? Well, then it might be a good idea to lie. And you should probably run and hide as well.

Edited to add 2/6/2019-Two years later, I l have lost most hope on the above. I know a gaslighter who despises Trump but has shown no remorse or willingness to change over his own gaslighting and manipulative practices. 

2. I think Trump will help us reduce our preoccupation with the physical appearance of women.

I think there will be less people rating women 1-10 on their appearance. There'll be less enthusiasm over beauty pageants. If a woman makes us mad, we'll be less likely to say things like, She's an ugly fat bitch. 

Look at the women that you adore and that adore you. If most of them are young, thin, and physically attractive; maybe take a good look at yourself.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with being attracted to youth and beauty. But there is a problem if you value it too highly, and you have a lack of respect for women who are older and less thin.

3. I think men will make more of a conscious effort not to do inappropriate things with their daughters.

Obviously, decent men already know that they shouldn't have sex with their daughters. They already know that they shouldn't touch their daughters genitals, take nude photos of their daughters, masturbate in front of their daughters, etc.

But there are little things that should also be avoided. Don't talk about wanting to date your daughter if she wasn't your daughter. Don't touch your daughter in a way that's romantically affectionate rather than father-daughter affectionate. Don't take photos of your daughter that make it obvious that you're concentrating way too much on her breasts, butt, or legs.

Now sometimes accidents happen, and I hope no fathers, uncles, or grandfathers are beating themselves up over it. Once my grandfather kissed me on the lips. I had no feeling whatsoever that he was trying to molest me.  I think it was just one of those awkward moments where we both moved our faces the wrong way.

One day a dad might accidentally bump into his daughter, hit her breasts, say something awkward to cover up the mishap. He ends up saying something that makes things more awkward....

Things like that happen. If it happens to you as a parent and you feel kind of mortified; well...then you're probably okay.

4. I think Trump's behavior will encourage people to show more kindness and consideration to their partners at social events.

I personally do not think it's necessary to open car doors or pull out chairs at restaurants. I'm not into that kind of stuff.

But we should all make sure that when we enter a party or other event with someone, that we walk WITH them and not walk way ahead of them.  Edited to add 2/6/19-Another thing done to me by a passionate Trump hater.

We don't need to cling to our partners at social events. We all need our space. But we should try hard to remember to act with consideration, kindness, and love.

5. I think Trump has shown the ugliness of excessive bragging.

Almost everyone toots their own horn every so often. That's fine.

It's ugly, though, to do it on a regular basis.

It's great that you think you're great, but you don't need to work so hard to convince other people of your greatness. Doing so doesn't make you look great. More likely it makes you look weak, pathetic, and desperate.

If you're the type of person who likes to promote your greatness, you might be thinking, Well, I know it's wrong to brag. But it IS okay to spread the news when other people say good things about me.  Right?

No! Please!  Stop!

It's fine in very small doses. If someone has written a great review of your newest novel, yeah sure.  It's fine to pass that onto your family, friends, and supporters. But don't be emailing out positive reviews on a frequent basis. You don't need to forward all the glowing emails of praise that are sent to you. Keep some of them for your own private enjoyment.

Do not use bragging or other people's positive opinion of you as a defense for criticism.  If your son complains that you yell at him too much, don't respond by taking out the positive letters your high school students wrote to you.

If your husband complains that you criticize him too much, don't take out the leadership award you won three years ago.

Don't go on and on about all the people who adore you, especially when you're talking to someone that's unhappy with your behavior. It really doesn't help your case. Well, it MIGHT make you feel better, but it's unlikely to make the other person feel better about you. If you want to improve someone's opinion of you, I think the best thing to do is treat them better.    

6. I think Trump will reduce the amount of false promises made.

We probably all have times where we truly think we can deliver something, and things don't happen the way we expected. Then we can apologize and hope that we're understood and forgiven.

But don't make promises to distract people or shut them up.

Instead of saying, I promise that next year we'll have enough money to go on a luxury trip to Europe, maybe something like, Well things are kind of tight right now, but hopefully in the future things will get better, and then maybe we can take a trip somewhere.

I know some self help books push an attitude of Yes-we-can! and You can do it!  But I think phrases like, We'll try and maybe are underrated.

Writing yes-we-can just reminded me that Trump definitely is not the first politician to be full of promises. I think, though, that he does it a bit more than others? Or I could be wrong. I'm not sure.

Well, you know, I think I know the difference. I think many other politicians promise things that they know they might not be able to deliver, but they sincerely want to deliver it. They just kind of downplay the fact that they'll have to deal with congress/parliament, etc. I think with Trump, he's promising things he has no interest in delivering. He just want to get attention and/or support.

7. I think Trump will get people to reduce to amount of positive adjectives they use.

There's probably going to be a reduction of words like "great", "the best", "tremendous", "wonderful" etc.

I'm probably guilty of this at times. I like using happy-positive words. Like some of the other things I mentioned above, it's fine in small doses.

8. I think we will hopefully see less people responding to criticism with insults.

If someone writes something negative about you, either defend yourself intelligently or simply ignore the criticism. Don't try to defend yourself by claiming your critic is a loser, underrated, or that their business is failing.  These types of comments look especially bad if your critic is highly successful and celebrated. Then you're just making yourself look totally ridiculous. But even if they ARE unsuccessful?  I'd say the critic still has a right to share their opinion.

Okay I know this post is super long.  But before I go, I have two more Trump things to add.

A) If you haven't yet seen this Dutch video about Trump, I highly recommend it.  It's hilarious and very well done.  (See the positive adjectives there? Am I overdoing it?)

I think that even some Trump supporters might enjoy it.  I think someone would have to be a very closed-minded, fanatic Trump fan to hate the video.

B) I'm reading a novel written by Donald Trump's nephew, and so far I'm liking it a lot.  The book is called The Misadventures of Oliver Boothe: Life in the Lap of Luxury.  Oliver Boothe's personality seems quite similar to Trump's.  The writing reminds me a bit of JK Rowling's descriptions of the Dursleys.

I imagine Trump has relatives that do NOT support him but yet feel pressured to keep quiet and/or pretend that they support him. I feel for them. I also feel for the Trump family members who love Trump but at the same time dislike what he's doing or saying.  It must be really hard to put on a facade of full support when, at the same time, they want to publicly bitch him out.