Australia has its Australia Day.
I have my own Australia day.
And that's today. I think. Probably. I'm not 100% sure.
I'm maybe 99.5% sure.
To honor the occasion (once I managed to remember), I watched this video.
Earlier today, before remembering the occasion, I watched Julia Gillard struggle with difficult carbon tax questions.
I thought about how it's very abnormal for an American to spend this much brain time on the whole Australian carbon tax thing. So, I thought, I should just go ahead and consider myself Australian.
Screw the lack of citizenship and my zip code.
Maybe instead of considering myself not-really-australian, I can be not-technically-Australian.
But...no.
It might not be possible.
Why, you ask.
Well....
I don't care for Vegemite.
I call Tim Tams cookies, not biscuits.
I don't say bloke or Chrissy.
Thongs irritate the space between my toes.
I don't blush and giggle when people say fanny pack or root.
So....look. I guess I'll just have to go on being what I am: That weird American who's obsessed with Australia.
I have my own Australia day.
And that's today. I think. Probably. I'm not 100% sure.
I'm maybe 99.5% sure.
To honor the occasion (once I managed to remember), I watched this video.
Earlier today, before remembering the occasion, I watched Julia Gillard struggle with difficult carbon tax questions.
I thought about how it's very abnormal for an American to spend this much brain time on the whole Australian carbon tax thing. So, I thought, I should just go ahead and consider myself Australian.
Screw the lack of citizenship and my zip code.
Maybe instead of considering myself not-really-australian, I can be not-technically-Australian.
But...no.
It might not be possible.
Why, you ask.
Well....
I don't care for Vegemite.
I call Tim Tams cookies, not biscuits.
I don't say bloke or Chrissy.
Thongs irritate the space between my toes.
I don't blush and giggle when people say fanny pack or root.
So....look. I guess I'll just have to go on being what I am: That weird American who's obsessed with Australia.
Thongs irritate between my toes too, because I rarely wear them. You get used them.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I sniggered when read fanny pack and root.
One question might be do YOU snigger when people talk about thongs?
ReplyDeleteI once did a 14k walk against want wearing thongs. Friends sniggered. At the end of the day, 3 of the 5 wearing "good walking shoes" had blisters.
The expression fanny pack sounds as ridiculous as the object it describes.
Lots and lots of Australians - especially those born overseas and maybe their children as well, think Vegemite is disgusting.
Its popularity is probably due in part to its rich Vitamin B content, making it a cheap but very healthy food during the depression and even later for families who didn't have a lot of money for food.
I don't care what you call Tim Tams as they are highly over-rated.
However, this is a multi-cultural, politcally correct country which appreciates diversity. You would be permitted or even encouraged to identify as American-Australian if you lived here. Come on down and feel free to be who you are.
and you said 'zipcode' not postcode!!
ReplyDeletePC and his family are from Ireland.. they don't like Vegemite, they don't think thongs are everyday footwear, his Mum's never made a succesfull pav, and when he was told to 'bring a plate' to school, he turned up with an empty plate, not a plate of food to share.. and yet, they are definitely Australian's.. so you could be one of us as well!
Andrew: I guess toes build up immunity. I can wear some types for short periods; but not for long walks.
ReplyDeleteFruitcake: No, I don't snigger when people talk about thongs. I guess because I don't often think of that type of underpants.
I associate the word more with shoes. Flip-flops work for me too; though it reminds me of the political term.
I'm impressed you walked 14k with thongs. I wish I could do that.
Yeah. I could be American-Australia; but it seems unlikely that we're going to move there. So I'm stuck being American-American.
Kate: PC and his family have the Aussie postcode on their side. I'm guessing citizenship too. In that case, they don't need to overcompensate with cultural thingies.
I think if you want to be an American and imagine yourself Australian...you have to strictly follow all rules. That means Vegemite for breakfast every morning; and no wearing shoes besides thongs.
Some of the other 'rules' might be more palatable to you (as they are to those of us who loathe Vegemite):
ReplyDelete- have a public holiday as often as possible so you can enjoy the great country you're living in!
- just go barefoot. Then you'll find heaps of other things to irritate your feet!
- eat fish & chips (you'd call them 'fries') on the beach on a hot summer's day (that'd be Christmas!)
- fantasize about visiting Uluru
- Visit as many bakeries as you can find (hang on, maybe that's just me??)
- fantasize about changing the national anthem to something more evocative like 'I still call Australia home' or 'We are Australian'.
See? You don't have to like all that other stuff!
Red, I was very proud for some time that the soles of my feet were bullet proof. It was only after I stood on a bee that I realised I was kidding myself. Thongs are a great Health and Safety item.
ReplyDeleteRed Nomad Oz: It's very nice that there's alternatives to Vegemite.
ReplyDeleteI like the holiday bit...and the bare feet; although I do think there's merit in Fruitcake's warning.
I don't do fish; but I LOVE the chips.
As for bakeries...could candy shops be a viable substitute?
I don't have too many Uluru fantasies; but I'm on board with the change-the-anthem thing.
Fruitcake: I sometimes go barefoot. And love the idea of Australian towns where people walk around without shoes. But seeing that we share this planet with tiny stingy and bitey things....it might not be the safest practice.