Responses to Criticism, Using our Gifts for Personal Gain, Breaking Up With Sick People, and Being Strong

1. Dreamed about Australian celebrities.

In one of the dreams: I play a made-up game with children that includes asking them trivia questions. I ask them where Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman met and got married. I realize I'm not 100% sure of the answer. I'm guessing it's Australia, but I figure it might not be the case.

The kids get a bit giggly, and I then see Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman are in the room. They can answer the trivia question about themselves. Hugh Jackman does this. He says it was Australia, and I say something about being glad that's the answer, because I wasn't sure if it would be.

Yes. I know Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman aren't married in real life.

I'm actually not 100% sure it was Nicole Kidman in the dream. It was definitely Hugh Jackman. I remember seeing him. I don't remember seeing the wife, but when I woke up, the actress I had in my head was Nicole Kidman. So I'm going with that.

I also had a dream about Kate Jenkinson, but the memory is vague. It's something like, my work is being included in something, and it's a good thing—an honor.  I start to realize that I have Jenkinson to thank for that. But I'm kind of annoyed...as if I don't want to feel indebted to her.  

2. Reminded of Tallygarunga, the Australian Wizarding world role-playing site when thinking about the recent Elon Musk drama.

A blogger criticized an Elon Musk event, because it went behind schedule.  In the scheme of things, having an event go badly isn't a major atrocity. I don't fault Elon Musk too much on that. Everyone fails every so often—even very wealthy and powerful people.  Still, disgruntled people have the right to criticize, as long as they refrain from being abusive.

What does disgust me is that Elon Musk didn't handle the criticism with maturity and grace. He personally canceled the guy's car order. That's so incredibly petty.

Why does that remind me of Tallygarunga?

Well, I used to be a faithful fan of the site. I read the stories of these up and coming writers and blogged about them everyday. All was well until I questioned a wizard being put on antidepressants after his girlfriend was raped by her father.  Personally, I thought depression was a normal human response to what happened to the teen and not an immediate indication of mental illness.

The role player controlling the depressed wizard didn't like me having an opinion about mental illness that differed from her own. She wrote me an email requesting that I stop reading any of her material.

3. Tried to imagine a world filled with writers like that particular role-player and business tycoons like Elon Musk.

I'd be banned from Disney World and American Airlines. Those are the most recent companies I've criticized.

I'd get emails from Graeme Simsion asking me to stop reading his book since I had some complaints about it.

The only people who'd be allowed to read the Harry Potter series are those who are happy with every single decision JK Rowling made about the books.

4. Wondered about musicians who request that a politician stop using their music.

I think the musicians is in the right IF the politician is using the music in a way that would require permission or paying royalties.

If the musician asks the politician to stop listening to the music; then the musician is acting as ridiculous as the Tallygarunga role player and Elon Musk.

5. Started watching an episode of Wicked Science.

6. Wondered if I agreed with what Toby (Andre de Vanny) says on the show—that using his super brain power to get what he wants is cheating.

I did think Russell (Benjamin Schmideg) was cheating when he used guitar-enhancing gloves to become popular.

Is there a difference?

I think so.

The main difference is that Toby's enhanced abilities came from a mistake. He didn't purposely seek it out.  It's pretty much equal to being born with a talent. Toby didn't ask to become a science genius in the same way Adele didn't ask to be born with a fabulous voice.

7. Thought of an analogy.

What if an athlete has some kind of brain issue that suddenly gives them enormous bursts of energy and strength.  I think it would be fine to use those new abilities to win a bike race. It would be different from someone who uses drugs to win the race.

8. Saw that Toby might actually be planning to use his brain power to cheat on a video game.

I'm not sure, actually.

I'm confused.

I don't think it would be cheating for him to use his acquired intelligence to win the game. I do think it would be cheating if he used his acquired intelligence to come up with a cheat for the game.

It's like Minecraft. If you're very skilled at a multiplayer game, that's not cheating.It is cheating if you use your intelligence to hack the game.

9. Thought that Toby was being awful in this episode.

He's trying to gain the affection of a girl by impressing her with his video game skills (maybe cheating) and winning her a gift she doesn't even want. He doesn't know she doesn't want it, because he's not giving her any attention. He's so focused on himself.

I can't stand it when people act that way.

10. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

11. Felt sorry for Maddie (Kassandra Clementi).

She has cancer.

She's returned to school and is feeling sick there. Also, she's very behind on the work, and that's very stressful.

On top of all that, it seems her boyfriend (Jake Speer) doesn't love her anymore.

12. Felt bad for Oscar too.

It's hard enough breaking up with a healthy person. But one with cancer? Oh goodness!

13. Wondered how many people out there are stuck in a relationship with someone who is plagued by a terminal and/or chronic illness?

Of those people, how many stopped the loving BECAUSE of the changes the health problem brought, and how many of them stopped loving for other reasons?

14. Decided sometimes the love can stop because of secondary reasons. For example, someone might not have stopped loving their wife when she got cancer, but they stopped loving their wife when cancer made the wife act chronically spoiled and demanding.

Then again, the wife might have acted spoiled and demanding in response to her partner being neglectful and uncaring.

It's really hard to know what goes on behind the scenes in a relationship.

15. Proud of Maddie.

She handled the break up with grace, maturity, and strength.

I admire people who pull themselves up after a fall.

It's like Tracy on Coronation Street. She was left at the alter when her fiancé turned out to be a murderer. She's heartbroken and financially broken but still has to find money to pay for an expensive wedding that never happened. Yet despite all this, Tracey still gets out of bed each morning and does what needs to be done. I really admire that.

It's not that we all don't deserve a pity party at times in our life. There's nothing wrong with taking time off to cry, scream, overeat, etc.  But eventually, it's a good idea to get out of bed and get on with life...even if you don't yet have a purpose for living.

16. Felt that I don't usually fault those who linger in their sadness and can't move on—especially if I'm very sympathetic to their problem. It's just I have a lot of admiration for those who manage to hold their heads up high when life gives them shit.

17. Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to watch a 2009 Finalist film called "The Delivery"

18. Started watching the film.

19. Saw, that so far, the film is a showcase of sound effects.

20. Thought that the sounds in the movie are very irritating. Though I think they're supposed to be that way.

21. Finished watching the movie.

I didn't like it very much.

And I didn't understand the ending.

22. Got an explanation for the ending from YouTube comments.

That's kind of helpful.

I still feel the film wasn't my kind of thing. I was bored by it.

23. Saw that the film had two directors.

One of them, Rohan Jones had a small acting role in Muriel's Wedding—I mean small as in his character wasn't given a name.

24. Saw that Rohan Jones was one of the writers for a 2010 Venezuelan movie called Brother.

Maybe he's Venezuelan?

Actually, maybe everyone from "The Delivery" is Venezuelan. It could be one of those Tropfest films that's not Australian.

25. Saw that the actors are Australian.

Three out of four of them have guest-starred on Rush. I wonder if that's a coincidence, or there's some kind of connection.

26. Saw that one of the actors in "The Delivery" (Nicholas Stribakos) was in a recent Australian horror movie called The Plague.

I think I might have heard of that before.

27. Watched the trailer for The Plague.  It looks like a typical zombie thing.

28. Started to watch Nicholas Stribakos show reel.

29. Saw that Stribakos does a lot of crime stuff.  So far I've seen Stringers and Water Rats on the showreel. "The Delivery" was a crime thing too.

30. Decided to watch the fourth episode of The Justice Lease.

I love the opening titles of the show.

31. Saw that the Robin (Morgan Powell) in this episode has a bigger role than the Robins in the previous three episodes.

32. Thought that the episode was very good.

I love the show.

33. Started watching another episode of Home and Away.

34. Saw VJ (Matthew Little), and thought about how he was one who was slow to emerge from his pity party, and it took a lot of urging from others.

I think with his type of problem, it would be very hard to leave the pity party.

It seems, to me, one of the hardest things in life is dealing with the unknown.

I imagine it would be absolutely horrible for a teenager to lose his mother through death.  But for some reason, it seems it would be even worse to have a mother who's probably going to die, except there's a tiny chance she'll be okay again.

A less extreme example: As hard as it is being dumped, maybe in some ways it's harder to go through that time when you expect to be dumped. It hasn't happened yet and you hold a tiny bit of hope that things are going to be okay. You wait around for the phone to ring.

35. Concluded that what I'm thinking is maybes are sometimes harder than endings.

Though it depends on how much hope there is.

If it's 50/50 or even 90/10; than I'd say the maybe is better than the ending.  But if it's 1/100 or 1/1000; then an ending might be easier.

36. Felt I'm contradicting myself by admiring people who manage to get up and face the day after a big loss or big blow.  I've also often felt that people rush others to get over their problems, and I don't like that.

I guess I feel both things.

People should have the right to take the time they need to recover from a loss or problem. They should receive compassion from their loved ones.

Hopefully, they have loved ones.

At the same time, I admire people who manage to take things in stride.  Well, it would be weird to take some things in stride.  I'm not sure how I'd feel about someone happily doing their grocery shopping the day after their brother was killed in a shooting. But kudos to the grieving brother who manages to get out of bed and go to the grocery store so his children won't have to deal with an empty refrigerator.

37. Reminded myself that hurting people can stand strong AND fall apart.

They can go to work, get the job done; then come home and cry hysterically.

There's a time for sadness and a time to pull yourself together.  They don't have to be in that order. It can go back and forth...for weeks, months, years. Sometimes a lifetime.

38. Heard a Vance Joy song on Home and Away. I don't think I've heard it before.

It's called "First Time", which is fitting because they're playing it with a storyline about two teens planning to have sex for the first time.

39.  Thought Vance Joy's voice was very distinctive.

40. Amused that Josh (Jackson Gallagher) thought it would be a good idea to include balloons in his first sexual experience with Evelyn (Philippa Northeast).

And he knocked her back when she made advances in the car.

I'm surprised he didn't say, No, not here, Evie. Where are the balloons? You can't have sex without balloons.   

41. Realized the balloons are sparkly balloons.

42. Felt lots of love for all these adorable Summer Bay people.