Saturday, January 8, 2011

Deep Thoughts in the Toilet

I'm going to assume this is pretty much universal among bloggers....

We don't just write blog entries when we're sitting at the computers.  Sometimes, we write them inside our heads; like when we're riding in the car, taking a shower, or pretending to pay attention to a boring conversation.  

Sometimes we later turn them into real blog entries, and other times they fade away deep into our lost memories.    

Now I've begun to compose blog entries in my dreams.  Actually, it has probably happened to me before. I can't say this is definitely the first time.  But last night......

I'm in the bathroom, and I start composing a blog entry in my head. I think about how some Australians lump all Americans into being one type of person.  I think about how when you are part of a group of people you don't see it that way.  I don't look at other Americans, and think about how we're all so much alike.  It's more the opposite. I feel we're all so different.

Then I start thinking about appearances, and that sometimes I look at someone and think they LOOK Australian.  But sometimes someone can look Australian, and not even be Australian.   

What would it mean for someone to look Australian? These days, there's so much migration in the world....so much mixture and inter-marriage.   An Australian can be from one of many ethnic groups, or a combination of them.  In a very rigid traditional sense, when we say someone looks Australian, we probably mean they look...British/Irish. The same goes for Americans.  

OR....maybe it's someone with a mixture of British/Irish and Aboriginal genes. That's probably not going to be too often replicated elsewhere in the world.

Of course being Aboriginal or Native American would make someone look VERY American or Australian...but I think most people sadly imagine whiteness when thinking of an iconic American or Australian.  

I had another dream that I think was influenced by the post I wrote yesterday.

We're on a cruise ship, and eating dinner.  At one point, it's in the middle of the week, and I'm worried that there's going to be a formal night. I didn't really bring anything that fancy to wear. Then it changes to it being the last night of the cruise. The cruise staff tries to get everyone to sing the song Why Can't We Be Friends.  I'm feeling a bit of regret, because I didn't really make any friends during the week.  

After I wrote the post yesterday, I started having deep thoughts about friends. I realized that I really love how friendship and relationships are defined in Sims 3.  Do any of you play that game?

In the Sims, relationships are categorized. 

You have....

strangers
acquaintances
friends
good friends
best friends
old friends
distant friends
love interest
boyfriend
fiance
spouse
enemy

You also have family members (relatives), but these people too are labeled as either stranger, acquaintance, friend, good friend, or best friend.

Like real life, it's all very complex on the Sims.

For example.....

You can spend a lot of time with someone, have conversations with them, and still they never move above the acquaintance level.  For some reason, you're never able to form a true connection to them.   I have people like that in my life.  I WANT to be friends with them. I try to be friends with them. But I just can't build that connection.  It's like there's a wall between us.   

You can become friends with someone in one day. Sometimes you just strike up a conversation, and you bond....right there. 

I have people in my life that are distant friends.  We bonded in the past, but now we don't really talk much.  Every so often, we have mild interactions on Facebook. I differentiate them from acquaintances though, because there is STILL a lingering bond there.  

I hate to downplay acquaintances though.  I have a great amount of love for some of them. We interact. We laugh together. I admire them. I like hearing about their lives. But there's just not enough interaction or connection to qualify them as a friendship.  

It's hard for me to explain what qualifies as a friendship. If a person and I regularly email back and forth, I'd usually consider them a friend. The same goes for many people I see and talk to on a regular basis.  I have some friends though, where months go by without us talking.  Yet once we do talk again, the friendship still feels strong.   

There are people that update very often on Facebook.  I read their updates, and comment often. With this, there can be an illusion of friendship. I feel like I know this person so well. We must be friends! But we're really not.  That's not to say I don't care about them.  It's just not a friendship; at least not in the way I definite it.