Saturday, September 27, 2014

State of Confusion About The Lucky Country

I'm in a state of confusion right now about my feelings towards Australia.

It's not the first time. Although my blog says I'm the weird American who's obsessed with Australia. It's not always true.  Sometimes I'm the weird American who's not-so-obsessed with Australia. Sometimes I'm the weird American who's obsessed with Australia, but much more obsessed with other things at the moment. And there have been a few times that I've been the weird American who's secretly feeling kind of antagonistic towards Australia.

Once, one of the latter cases happened just before I started reading Donald Horne's The Lucky Country.  I felt a guilty sense of satisfaction when reading some of his criticisms.

Right now I'm not feeling antagonistic about Australia. It's more like my passion has been overshadowed by other things.

I'm writing all this and wondering what's the big deal anyway. Am I supposed to love Australia and only Australia 100% of the time?  Isn't there room enough in my heart to be passionate about many things at the same time? It's not like I'm married to Australia.

And if I'm feeling more passion and excitement for things not-Australian, it's probably just the fact that Australia has been with me for a pretty long time.  It's less of an obsession now and more simply an important and beloved part of my life.

Again, though...NOW is the operative word.  Tomorrow or next week, I might be totally obsessed with Australia again. A week or so ago, I had a huge desire to visit Australia...SOON.  But often I'm fine with the idea of not returning until my 50th birthday. And other times I'm thinking, what if for my 50th birthday trip, I decide we should go back to London instead of Australia?