Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Should I Quit?

I might want to quit writing the biography posts.

What makes me nervous is I've been quitting a lot of things lately.

I quit playing Sims 2.

I quit looking at Instagram.

I quit looking at Twitter.

I quit using my library to-read list to determine which books I read.

And I've contemplated quitting the writing down of my dreams in the morning. (On Livejournal, not this blog)

What is my deal?

I don't know.

It's not about disliking my life. It's maybe more about wanting to make little changes to better my life.

Why do I want to quit the biography posts?

Well, mostly I've felt myself getting tired of writing them, and with the last one, I had some major burned-out feelings. I'm especially tired of the filmography bit. I feel myself getting really annoyed with actors for having successful careers. Oh come on! Did you have to be in THAT many movies? Give me a break here.

Other reasons: 

1. What happened on an episode of Slide I watched yesterday. Tammy and her friend go to an exclusive club where Tammy sees a musician she wrote about on the Internet. She's a fan of the musician and pleasantly surprised to learn he knows her name and has read what she wrote about him. But then he throws his drink at her face. It turns out he didn't like what she wrote, even though she didn't mean to be offensive.  What if one day the subject of one of my posts reads what I wrote and hates me for it?  I know sometimes I'm a bit harsh, and I might actually deserve some of their wrath. But what if it's someone I LIKE, and I wasn't even trying to be negative?  

Although that's not really a reason for quitting the biography posts, because I'll still be sharing my opinion on this blog, and my opinion might still end up offending people. Heck, I might one day share a dream about a celebrity and they end up reading it, and THAT offends them. You never know what's going to make someone end up despising you.    

2.  Sometimes I'll feel like I'm cheating. Because I'll be watching a show, see an actor I recognize; and I'll look them up on IMDb. Then I get this idea I shouldn't ever do a biography post on them, because I've already had a peak at their filmography.  Or I'll hope and reassure myself that I'll forget what I've seen by the time I do the post. Which is likely since I have a pretty bad memory.

And now for what makes me second-guess my quitting plans and desires.

1. Most of my traffic comes from my biography posts.

BUT most of this traffic is drive-by. They read one post and leave.  Or actually, they probably just glance at the post and leave. They probably look at the post, think WTF, and then find their way to a website that's much less insane.  

My favorite visitors are the ones who look at multiple posts on my blog—the ones who stalk me for a few minutes or an hour or so. That makes me feel loved. It makes me feel like I'm not writing for nothing.

Also, does it matter if my blog gets a lot of traffic? No, I don't want to write for nobody. But I don't really need to write for a whole crowd. If at least one person reads at least most of my blog post, then I feel I've not completely wasted my time by writing it.  

2. I like watching the short films. Yeah. I realized that this might have been my favorite part of these long drawn out biography posts.  But I can continue to watch the short films.  I may or may not write about what I've seen.  

Yeah. So I think I'm going to quit the biography posts for now. But to make up for that, I'll continue to record my dreams in the mornings.  That will make me feel I have some restraint with this whole quitting thing.  

And just as a side-note. I haven't missed Twitter or Instagram. At all.  I have missed Sims 2 on a few occasions.  Like today. I was watching House Husbands.  Justin and his family bought a run-down house that needs major renovations.  Justin showed his wife where they'd be sleeping. A tent in the yard. It reminded me of one of my Sims family. They had lots of children but not enough money and space for beds. So the kids had to sleep outside—some in tents and some on hammocks.