Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Anxious Situations, Lying, Trust, and Eva's Dumping of Jason

1. Had dreams about Australia.

There was one involving Michelle, a woman I met in Australia who later moved to the U.S.

My family has decided to go to Australia in March.  Even though I don't talk to Michelle much anymore, for some reason, I contact her and tell her this. She decides to go to Australia at the same time as us.

Then later my family decides to travel somewhere that's not Australia. I try to decide if I should warn Michelle about this. We've drifted apart quite a lot, so it seems unlikely that she was going to Australia at that time because we were going to be there.  I feel it's more likely that my plans to go to Australia simply inspired her to want to go too.  It probably won't matter to her if I'm there or not.

At another point: Michelle is in Texas. I ask her what she's doing here. She tells me it has something to do with DTT (or some other abbreviation involving D and T's).  It's something about a department of transportation.  Later, when we're not together anymore, I regret not asking her more about it. I feel bad that I didn't show enough interest.

I think that dream comes from what I wrote about the other day regarding conversations. It's not enough to simply ask questions. We need to show interest in the answers, which sometimes involves asking more questions.

There was another dream where I'm with Tim and Jack in Australia. We're on a path that's very high up. It's scary to me. I'm especially nervous around the patches of the path that have no barriers.  Jack is asleep in a stroller and we have to wheel him across. Although the path isn't overly narrow, I'm still nervous that we'll somehow manage to let him fall over the edge.

And then the last dream.  I go into a small gated park.  There are other people there. I walk through and see a small crocodile. I'm somewhat surprised to see it, but not completely shocked. I figure it's a freshwater crocodile. I know they're not extremely dangerous, but I do wonder if I should maybe keep my distance.

Then I see a huge saltwater crocodile. It starts running after me. It gets quite close.  I get to the gate and manage to open and close it without the crocodile coming out with me.  But then the huge beast figures out how to dig itself out of the enclosure.

I escape to be with my family who are sitting on benches or pews somewhere. I sit by my sister, Melissa. I tell her we need to be careful around here because there are crocodiles. She seems annoyed at me for trying to make her anxious.  

2. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

3. Disappointed in Ash (George Ash).

When Denny (Jessica Grace Smith) makes accusations about him getting involved with something illegal and dangerous, he lies to her. Not only does he lie, but he makes her feel bad about making accusations.

If someone has suspicions about something and we lead them to think they're wrong, there's a good chance they'll feel stupid and paranoid.  If they ARE wrong, then it's kind of okay that they might feel stupid and paranoid. If they're not wrong, making them feel this way is very unfair.

4. Felt that Ash isn't so awful, because at least he shows guilt in lying to Denny.

I think there are some people who lie, and don't feel at all guilty about it.  Even worse, I think they might start to believe in their lies, and/or they start to believe the problem is with the accuser and not themselves.

It's like they get angry at the other person for not being decent enough to believe in the lies.

5. Started to watch another episode of Agony Uncles.

6. Figured out something I don't like about the show.

The feeling I get from the agony uncles and narrator is that women are something that needs to be conquered in order to get a buttload of sex.

There's something very unromantic about it.

It's like, what do all men want? Sex.  Who can provide it for the man? Women?  The problem is women are difficult, so here are the keys to dealing with them.

7. Thought that I'm being unfair, because the men DO talk about love.

But maybe it's that they talk about love as something unfortunate that happens to people.

Although, that being said, love often does cause more problems than it's worth.

Love brings happiness, but it also brings a lot of pain.

8. Liked this quote from the show. The tragedy, of course, is that being a trusting person isn't necessarily going to stop your beloved from cheating on you.

I totally agree with that.

I don't really understand people who believe otherwise.

There's the person who says, No. I don't get jealous of all the time you spend with other women. I trust you.

The partner thinks, Okay? But trusting me isn't going to guarantee I'm going to stay faithful to you.

On the other hand, NOT trusting someone and being very controlling and and paranoid is not a full proof method of cheating prevention.

9. Thought of a storyline I'm watching currently on Coronation Street. 

Eva's in a serious relationship with Jason.  She wants the two of them to buy a house together. Jason says he doesn't have enough money.  He's nice and apologetic about it.  Jason's father, Tony, offers to help them out. Jason says no. He doesn't want the strings that would be attached, and he's weary of where his father gets his money.  Eva then goes behind Jason's back and accepts Tony's offer. They start meeting together secretly. To do this, Eva lies to Jason about her plans and whereabouts.

Thanks to Jason's wicked brother, Todd, Jason is led to a hotel where Eva and Tony are attending a house auction.  Jason goes there and finds the two of them kissing. In reality, they were kissing on the cheek, but from Jason's angle, it looked very much like a romantic kiss.

Jason gets mad at punches his father.  Then Eva is horribly offended that Jason thought she was cheating on him with his dad. She breaks up with him, and refuses to forgive his mistake.

I AM totally on Jason's side.  I think Eva should be the one groveling. She went behind Jason's back. She lied to him. And she did exactly what he had asked her not to do.

As for the suspected cheating, no it wasn't true. But it was understandable that he made the mistake. Why would it be totally impossible for a woman to have an affair with a man's father?

10. Thought Brett Tucker was sexy when he talked about being jealous.

I like jealousy—not excessive amounts.  But I want someone to adore me enough that they worry about losing me.

11. Saw a man on the show explain why he's not jealous. He says, I've never been jealous. I've always said to people I've lived with, or I've taken out, if you're bored with me, and you don't want to go out anymore, just tell me and I'll (some word I can't decipher). There's plenty of fish in the sea. Let me tell you. 

I think THAT is very unromantic.

12. Wondered if people's love philosophy can be divided into soulmate believers and fish-in-the-sea believers.

Soulmate people believe we have a set amount of people we're meant to be with.  Or at least they believe there is something special and valuable about the person they are with.  They feel a strong emotional attachment.

I think fish-in-the-sea believers are not romantic.  They don't love deeply. They like being in a relationship. They like the sex. They like the companionship, but they don't feel a particular fondness for the people they date.  If a person leaves them, they're happy to move onto the next person.

13. Agreed with the guy on the show who believes people that don't have jealousy are arrogant.

I think it's the same kind of arrogance that's in people who never worry about bad things happening.

They don't worry about disease. They don't worry about accidents.

They don't believe anything bad will happen to themselves or those they love.

Do these people not read the news? OR do they think bad things happen to other people, but not their family and friends?

14. Amused by what Waleed Aly says.  In the Muslim community, often asking someone to marry them is not about convincing them to marry you.  It's about making sure that you can convince their family and your family that the world is not going to fall apart if you actually get married.

The way Waleed Aly talks about Muslims, on the show...it sounds very much like Jewish families.

There was another part where he talks about parents wanting kids to become lawyers and doctors. That's big in the Jewish community as well.

15. Thought that Adam Elliot has an interesting point.

He talks about how when gay marriage becomes legal, people might get married just because they can. They might rush into it.

I wonder if that's happening a lot.

I imagine, when a country or state suddenly has legalized gay marriage, there's pressure for the couple to get married.

Then again, heterosexual couples have had to deal with that for centuries.  It's time for gay people to share in the pain.