Friday, March 4, 2016

In Your Dreams, Connecting to the Past, Old Characters, and Apologies

1. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

2. Saw that there's a new actress on the show.

Her name's Tessa de Josselin.  

She was the star of a TV comedy called In Your Dreams. 

From what I see on IMDb, the show seems to be German. Maybe?  

3. Learned from Lord Wiki that In Your Dreams is a German-Australian show for teens.

It's about two Australian teens who go to live with their German relatives.

4. Started to watch a trailer for In Your Dreams

5. Finished watching the trailer. 

The show looks dumb, but also kind of cute.

6. Realized that Marilyn (Emily Symons) reminds me of one of our family friends. Our family-friend has a similar voice, and also her personality is similar to Marilyn's. 

7.  Started watching another episode of Home and Away.

8. Wondered how many teens on Home and Away are runaways.

It seems there are a few.

I suppose that's what might connect 1980's Home and Away with the twenty-first century one.  

The old episodes centered around foster parents.  

I think it's nice when a show connects well with its past.

That's one of the reasons why I like Coronation Street better than Home and Away.

On Coronation Street, there are characters and actors that have been on the show for decades. On Home and Away, there are only two actors from the 1980's who are still on the show.  Counting Roo (with a different actress) there are three characters remaining.  

Then, not only are all the old characters gone, but it seems like the new characters don't have connections to the 1980's ones.  

There are no grandchildren of the Fletchers, or their foster kids, hanging around.  

Alf (Ray Meagher) have any relatives, in Summer Bay, besides Roo (Georgie Parker).

9. Wondered if some of the current characters connect to 1980's ones, and I just don't realize it yet.   

10. Wondered. Besides, Alf, Marylyn, and Roo, which current characters on Home and Away have histories that go back the furthest?   

11. Consulted Lord Wiki about John Palmer (Shane Withington).  I suppose, since he's one of the older characters, I thought he might have been around for awhile.

But, no, not really.  He came on the show in 2009. 

12. Found a character with a long history.

Good!

It's Irene Roberts.  She's been around since 1991.  Her children were being fostered by Pippa (Deborah Lawrence).  That's not the Pippa I know and love, but it was still Pippa.

Irene also had an actress switch.  She was at first played by Jacqui Phillips; then later by Lynne McGranger.  

13. Learned that Irene is a kung fu movie fan.

Tim used to like those. 

I don't think he watches them much anymore.

14. Felt a sudden surge in gratitude to Hulu, and the Internet in general, for bringing Australia into my home every day.  

15. Thought that Chris (Johnny Ruffo) was very sweet in this episode.

He wasn't in the mood for a houseguest, and therefore was unwelcoming towards Maddie (Kassandra Clementi).  After Irene got him to understand why Maddie was staying with them, Chris took the initiative to apologize and was very welcoming.  

Lately, I've been thinking about insincere and sincere apologies. I think one of the things that makes a difference is if the person initiates the apology on their own.

Now Irene did have to talk some sense into Chris.  I think that's fine—especially since he was quick to get it.

It would be different if Maddie had to fight with him and explain how she was feeling.  Although, I guess even then it wouldn't be so bad...as long as he wasn't apologizing to shut Maddie up.

16. Thought about how there are three types of insincere apologies.

The first is when someone doesn't feel they've done anything wrong.  They apologize—not for their actions, but for the anger and hurt the other person is feeling.  It's not, I'm sorry I was rude to you.   It's, I'm sorry you were hurt by what I said.

I don't necessarily fault someone for using this apology, because sometimes there is true disagreement about whether someone did something wrong.  For example. Let's say someone gets mad at me because I say the autistic child, and they believe that's offensive.  They think I should have said, the child with autism.  

People disagree on these types of wordings. I wouldn't want to apologize for actions I don't truly think are wrong. But I might feel bad about the disagreement, and I might feel bad for any hurt feelings.

The other type of insincere apology is the one that has the message of, Look. I'm sorry. Just get over it. Let's move on.  Put the past in the past.  This response might be warranted if, in the past, the person gave a sincere apology without any prompting.  If someone has shown true regret for what they've done, it's usually wrong to keep bringing it up again.  

This second type of insincere apology is not about guilt or concern for the person hurt. It's simply a desire to move onto easier and happier times.  

The third type of apology is one that is pushed on people by a third party.  It's usually in the form of parents ordering their kids to apologize to each other.  

17. Did feel that sometimes it's hard to know if it's a good idea to apologize.  I've had this happen. I realize I've said something rude. No one seemed upset...hopefully because they didn't notice I said something very stupid and insensitive.  Then I don't know if I'd be making things worse by bringing it up again.  Maybe they weren't upset or didn't even notice, but if I start talking about it, they'll realize I've said something hurtful.

On the other hand, if we have a good idea and/or evidence that we upset the other person, it's very nice to apologize without being prompted.  

18. Thought of another type of insincere apology. This is when you don't feel sorry at all.  You think the other person should be the one that's sorry. You say sorry, because you think this will get the other person to say sorry back to you.

I think I used to do this.  I don't think I do it anymore.

Oh! And then there's the apology where someone apologizes to you. You don't really feel you did anything wrong, but you apologize anyway.  It's kind of like when someone says, Happy Birthday, and you say, You too!  

In a lot of cases, though, there IS blame on both sides. What's really tacky is when one person apologizes in a case where both parties have some guilt. Instead of saying they're sorry too, the receiver of the apology says something cold and formal like, I accept your apology.

At the very least, if they feel truly innocent, they could say something like, That's okay. I've had days like that, too. We all do.  Or, we all make mistakes. I've made plenty

19. Re-watched the Home and Away apology scene.

While Chris's apology was very sweet, Maddie's acceptance of it was very sweet...and generous.

He explained why he acted the way he did—saying that he's feeling down, but it has nothing to do with Maddie. Then Maddie was kind enough to ask Chris what he was upset about.

20. Thought about when people add an excuse to their apology.

This can be annoying when it's used too often, but I think most of the time it's okay.

I think it's especially okay with unprompted apologies.   

If I get mad at someone; and they apologize pretty much only because they feel they've been pushed into a corner; giving an excuse is just going to make them look more pathetic.  

21. Saw another apology on the episode.

Billie (de Josselin) apologizes to her brother Ash (George Mason) for wrongly judging him for many years.  Like Maddie, Ash is extremely gracious.  He responds to her apology by requesting that this not be the last time they see each other. It's like he was requesting that she make amends, but the thing he wanted from her was a very nice thing.  

22. Thought that Ash is a very nice guy.

He's the ex-convict with a heart of gold.