Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Losing Visitors, Incapacitated, Guilt, and Blaming the Victim

1. Spent time looking at Statcounter.

I had thought my blog was in a slump, but I was wrong. What really seems to be happening, is each year my blog gets less and less popular.

By 2020, I think I'll have about ten visits a day...or maybe even less.

I was a bit disheartened to see that my blog is getting less and less popular.  Then things got even worse. I Googled for information about blogs losing popularity and ended up seeing an article with this headline: Why Do Narcissists Lose Popularity Over Time?

I have this fear that, while I'm disgusted by narcissism, I'm actually one of the worst narcissists out there.  The headline fed into that fear.

Not only has my blog lost popularity, but the not-blogging part of me seems to lose people as well.  It's one of the patterns that makes up my life.

But then I started to feel better...sort of.  The thing is, though narcissism might repel people eventually, there are other things that do as well.   For me, it's probably the other things.  The narcissism thing is doubtful.   

The thing is, though I've had a reduction in popularity, I've never been very popular in the first place.  It's not like I've gone from very popular to not popular.  It's more like I've gone from not popular to even more not popular.    

I don't have much of that narcissistic charm and confidence.

2. Started watching an episode of Water Rats.

This one is about a ferry crash.

3. Learned from Lord Wiki that there was a Sydney Harbour ferry crash in March 2007.  

Four people were killed.

4. Learned that, in 1927, there was a more severe disaster.  A ferry called Greycliffe crashed into a mail steamer.  Forty people were killed.  

5. Finished watching the episode.  

6. Realized one of the themes of the episode was feeling guilty for things in which we really can't be blamed.

Tommy (Jay Laga'aia) feels guilty, because during the disaster, he ordered a passenger to go radio for help.  The passenger ended up dying, and Tommy thinks the man would have survived if he hadn't been given the radio task.  One of Tommy's colleagues points out that other people died, and they hadn't been given orders by Tommy.  There's no guarantee that the man would have survived without Tommy's interference, and if he hadn't called for help, more people might have died.  

In another storyline, Taylor (Raelee Hill) ends up returning stolen loot to a thief. The thief had lost it during the crash, and then came to the station to retrieve it.

Later the real owner of the money shows up, and Taylor feels stupid. Her colleagues point out that she had correctly followed procedure. There was no way she would have known the money was stolen, because when she gave the money to the thief, the money hadn't yet been reported stolen. 

In contrast to those stories, there was another one in which a person WAS to blame for their mistake.

The reason the ferry crashed was the captain had an angina attack. At first, the story seems similar to the two above.  The captain says it was his first attack, and who can blame anyone for suddenly having a debilitating heart problem?  However, then it comes to light that the captain had known he had the problem and his doctor had told him he needs to retire. He didn't, because he liked his job.  

It's nice that he liked his job so much, but not so nice that he risked other people's lives.

7. Imagined there might be real life people out there who are risking our lives by staying in jobs they shouldn't be in anymore.  

8. Didn't think that people necessarily need to retire because they have a health condition that can incapacitate them.  

I think, though, that they need to be honest, take the needed medications, and in jobs like transportation, have backup personnel.  Although maybe that would get expensive.

I think with things like airplanes, there already usually is a co-pilot.  I imagine ships would have co-captain.

I'm not sure if the ferry, on Water Rats, had one.  There was a guy frantically yelling at the ferry captain as the crash was about to happen, but I'm not sure if that was a co-captain, another type of employee, or just a passenger.     

But anyway, I'm thinking when it comes to things like buses, having a co-driver for every bus might be difficult.  

9. Remembered the movie Speed. I think the bus driver had a heart attack.  Or was he shot?   

Either way....

Sandra Bullock took over.

Maybe with buses it's different.  I think there are more people who know how to drive a vehicle than there are people who know how to fly a plane or drive a ferry.

Then again, a bus is quite different from a car.  

10. Did some more Googling and saw various things that made me realize just driving a vehicle can be hazardous if someone becomes incapacitated by a health condition.   

This UK website says that if you have a heart condition, it's likely you'll be able to drive again.  For heart attacks, they say to wait four weeks before getting back behind the wheel. For angina, they say you need to talk to your GP. There are different types, and some are less easy to control.  I'm guessing the captain had a hard to control type.   

11. Thought that if someone is pushed to retire from a job or a favorite hobby, because of a health condition, it might be a good idea to bring in a counselor.  Or at least doctors should be kind and sensitive about the issue.  

12. Thought that whether or not someone is willing to quit because of a health condition probably depends on A) whether the risk is only to themselves or a risk to other people as well B) the  likelihood that the health attack will reoccur C) the personality of the patient D) Whether the doctor is known for being overcautious.

13. Started watching another episode of Water Rats

14. Felt something was missing in the episode.

There's this whole scary stalker storyline involving Terry (Aaron Jeffrey).  

The stalker (Helene Joy) breaks into his apartment and ends up stabbing Terry in the chest.  He falls to the ground and is having trouble breathing.  Then the scene cuts to him being taken away by paramedics, and the stalker is in police custody.

I would kind of like to know how he escaped the predicament. Why would the show just skip over that?

15. Learned that Terry has damaged lungs now, and won't be able to dive anymore.

Hearing that made me really hate the stalker, but Terry's talking as if he's the one who did something wrong.

I don't think he did.

The stalker flirted with him. He responded. They had sex.  Then Terry learned she had a boyfriend and tried to end things.  She wouldn't let it end and accused Terry of using her.

I definitely don't support men using women.  And maybe Terry had been using her in some ways.  On the other hand, he could have thought the encounter was casual sex and didn't realize she was expecting more.  Also, it's possible that if another man didn't accuse Terry of sleeping with his girlfriend, Terry would have been interested in continuing the relationship.  

16. Felt unnerved by the episode.  

I just re-watched the scene where Terry briefly talks about what happened.  To Dave (Scott Burgess), he says, Look. I'm responsible for what happened to Gina (the stalker). 

Dave, to his credit, makes a small attempt to argue. She was the one with the knife, Mate. 

Terry says, Officially, Yeah.

What the hell does that mean?

It bothers me that Dave doesn't fight harder to get Terry to see sense.  And I don't like that the show concludes that particular storyline with the inference that Terry is to blame for what happened to him. 

Yes, he's a bit of a womanizer. Or at least he's a flirt. That's not a great thing. But it definitely doesn't excuse stalker behavior.   

He definitely didn't deserve to be slashed on the arm and stabbed in the chest.

17. Hoped that they return to the storyline in a future episode.  I hope someone pushes Terry to understand that he's the victim.  

18. Remembered another scene.

When Terry is being taken away by the paramedics, he says to Frank (Colin Friels). If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you.  Frank responds, Not a word, Mate.

Terry being attacked by a stalker is presented as an almost embarrassing mishap.  

I'm not sure what I would have wanted Frank to say instead.  

19. Decided maybe he could have said something simple like,  We'll keep it between us, but you know you have nothing to be ashamed of.  

That sounds kind of corny.

Maybe Frank could have said nothing, just given him a kind pat on the shoulder.

I don't know....

20. Googled to try to find out if anyone else has had issues with the storyline.

I ended up finding a website that says Aaron Jeffrey himself was a victim of a stalker. It went on for seven years.  

Maybe the storyline was inspired by his own experience, and maybe they are going to deal with the whole victim-blaming thing.

21. Felt a little bit bad for stalkers and their delusional mental problems, but I feel much worse for their victims.