Saturday, January 7, 2017

Am I Still Obsessed with Australia?

Next week I'm supposed to be seeing my sort-of-Australian cousin. There was a lot of tension between us a few years ago because she moved to Australia and didn't want to be there, and I was obsessed with Australia and wanted to move there.  And...there were other issues as well that I won't go into here.

I've been kind of nervous about seeing my cousin, because I'm afraid she's going to ask with a sly smile, So, are you still really into Australia?

I have sort of prepared an answer. Yes, but with less intensity. Then she'll feel all smug, because she still lives in Australia, and I'm not still obsessed.

Well, now that I think of it. That doesn't make much sense.  I think it's more a fact that she'll feel smug because at times she tried to talk me out of the Australia love. She DID want me to move there, because she liked the other of having more family nearby.  But she tried to tell me Australia wasn't so great, and she tried to tell me I should want to see other places. I stubbornly disagreed.  

Note: At the time, she pretty much hated Australia because she had just moved there.  Now she's lived there for about eight (?) years. From her expat blog posts, I saw her growing more positive, about Australia as the years went by. I haven't read anything from her lately, but I'm guessing she's probably okay with Australia.  She might even like it or love it by now.

Anyway, back to myself.

I think the answer to the question I imagine my cousin asking, and the one I keep asking myself, is that I still love Australia, but I'm not obsessed.  I also love other places, cultures, things, as much as Australia.

I love Australia TV shows, but I also love British ones, American ones, and shows from various cultures.  I love using Hulu and Netflix to watch foreign TV and film.

I love Australian music, but also love American music, British music, Icelandic music, etc.

I sometimes have desires to visit Australia, but I also have desires to go to Canada, Europe, Asia, etc.  The other night I had major NYC nostalgia, and was dying to go there.

I still love Australian animals, but I equally love animals from other places. I've so much wanted Aussie birds in our backyard, but I'm now perfectly content with the American birds we see in our own yard.

I still love Australian food, but I'm also really into eating food from other countries. We love to go to this store called World Market where we buy snacks from the UK, other European countries, Japan, etc.

I love looking at Australian photos on Flickr, but I also love looking at photos from around the world.

As for politics...I'm no longer really interested in what's going on there with Australia.  I'm obsessed with what's happening in US politics.  It's hard not to be.

I think the one area in which I still have the Australian bug is I sometimes get overly excited about Australian actors.  For example, I think I told Tim multiple times that there was going to be an Australian actor in the new Star Wars movie.  I was very excited about Ben Mendelsohn having a role in that, and I'm over eager to talk about how I've seen him in his much earlier roles. I'm like those annoying people on YouTube who have to make it known that THEY knew of the newly popular song before it was featured on a TV show.

But yeah. I get excited about Australian actors, whether they're becoming more mainstream in the US, or when one that I recognize from one Australian show is on another Australian show. that I think of it, I also get excited in the same way about British actors and maybe American ones too.

Also, I get excited only about Australian actors that I know of. Yesterday Tim tried to tell me about an Australian actress on The Man in the High Castle, and I couldn't get myself to care.  He tried to get me more interested by telling me she was on Neighbours.  At first I thought he meant the American TV show or the American movie.  It took me a second to realize he was referring to the Aussie show. But still. She was not familar to me.


I have two other questions/answers in my head.

One is that no, I'm not glad that I didn't move to Australia.  I'm not thinking Wow. I'm glad we didn't move to Australia, because I would have stopped being obsessed and where would that have left me?

Honestly, I think if I moved to Australia I would have stopped being obsessed much earlier.  I think I would have just taken it for granted eventually.  If things went very well for us there, I would have loved it and taken Australia for granted.  If things went not-so-well, I would have been unhappy and taken Australia for granted.

I've been obsessed with New York at times, but I don't think I was ever obsessed when we actually lived there. I think I just happily (relatively so) lived my life.  But ever since we left, I periodically look back and have this feeling of Holy shit!  We actually lived in Manhattan! We lived there. I was a real New Yorker!

Well, I just had a toilet break where I had time to think, and have decided not to write about the other question/answer, because it's corny, obvious, and doesn't need saying.  I DID think of something else, though.

The thing is, I have no idea what will happen in the future.  In my little delusional head, I believe I was meant to be obsessed with Australia.  I feel there were spiritual-type things that pushed me in that direction. So I also believe that if I'm meant to get really back into the whole thing, I'll be pushed again. Maybe I'll start having dreams that make me even more obsessed with Australia than the first time.

OR...maybe something will happen, and we'll actually get the chance to move to Australia.  The fact that I still have this fantasy proves to me that the love for Australia is definitely still there.  Well...then again...I think I'd also be excited (and stressed) if we got a chance to move to a not-Australia country.
But still. I guess what I'm saying is I feel Australia has been a big part of my life path/destiny.  That part of my path might slowly be coming to an end, or it might not be.  Being obsessed with Australia might still be part of my destiny, and/or living in Australia might still be part of my destiny.  Who knows. With Donald Trump as president, my family might need to be refugees in Australia.  With all my gained knowledge, I can help with studying for the citizenship test.